Alice at Last
Chapter Nine
"It's already decided!" Margaret smiles, seemingly rather content about everything occurring. Alice feels her stomach sink and she already knows what her answer to the proposition will be. She stops the walk, turning to her older sister.
"I don't know if I want to marry Hamish," she admits, hoping that her sister will have some form of understanding of her situation. Margaret married out of love. She had the option of choosing someone to spend her life with. But it seems that she fails to see Alice's view.
"Who then?" she asks, looking at her dead in the eyes, almost in shock upon a great opportunity being turned down as she saw it. "You won't do any better than a lord and that pretty face won't last forever… And you don't want to be a burden to Mother… Or end up like Aunt Imogene," she gestures to the lone figure sitting in silence, always searching for someone yet never managing to find them.
The nineteen year old refuses to looking at her sister, her heart growing heavy upon the thought of being trapped in a marriage she has no will of being in. She takes a deep breath, blinking away the bitter tears. She wishes to say so much but has no desire in causing a scene and embarrassing herself, Margaret, or her mother. "Excuse me for a moment," she rasps out before turning, wishing to be alone.
She doesn't know where she's going nor does she know where or when Hamish is going to propose, nor does she care. She cares not for money and has no want of becoming a house-wife. She knows if she accepts the marriage what her life will ultimately become and she is aware of how quickly her sanity will slip if that is to occur.
Yet that isn't the only reason. Something is telling her that she has yet to find the person to love. She wants to wait for that person and is aware that she must go a great distance in order to find them. She is aware that they aren't in London, maybe not even in the United Kingdom or Europe.
She turns her head, not even entirely sure what she's looking for. But she knows that it's going to bring her exactly where she needs to be. She knows that something is to occur today. Something truly life changing that hasn't a thing to do with Hamish.
The girl notices a flash of white from the corner of her eye to which she turns, spotting the rabbit. He knows something. He knows who she is. He is to bring her somewhere that she needs to be, somewhere she belongs to.
Ensuring that no one is watching, she dips into the hedge maze since everyone is gathered outside in the main courtyard. She is aware that people will notice her missing but she doesn't care. Let Hamish wait. It'll save him the humiliation of being rejected in front of a group of fifty or so of family and friends.
The Ascots are family to her, merely because Lord Ascot and her father being close workers and even closer friends. Whenever she did have time with her father, it was typically with Lord Ascot as well to where the two became close and Alice was ultimately comfortable around him to proclaim him a second father.
She's well aware of Hamish's liking to her for it has been there since they were children. He was actually normal before he was sent off to boarding school for getting in trouble alongside Alice. Truthfully, he would have just stayed the way he was, a playful boy, she would happily marry him. But is a Lord and nothing short of an ego is acceptable. She wonders if he does miss those days much like she does.
Her thoughts are cut short as the rabbit turns suddenly and seemingly disappears into a tree. She looks over before she finds herself leaning over the rabbit hole, attempting to make out what could possibly be down there. She shifts her weight onto one arm, a bit too much being supported for a portion of the ground gives way and she is sent falling.
xxxXxxx
Mirana sits up quickly in bed, knowing that something significant has just occurred. "Alice," the name of which she has not uttered for years falls past her lips. She's home. She's on her way back. She gets out of bed, opening the closet and grabbing a dress without looking, needing to confirm whether or not her suspicions are true.
She barely acknowledges anyone as she hurries to the kitchen, only giving simple nods and smiles. She closes the door behind her, muttering the ingredients she needs for the smoke. "Finally… a piece of hair,' she puts in the final part. She knows having Alice's hair is strange but she needed it just in case she ever needed to find Alice. She would take it after brushing her hair to which the child was none-the-wiser about it.
The White Queen watches as the smoke escapes the concoction, a scene eventually being made out. As she finally comes into view, Mirana grows still. Beautiful. She has become a beautifully gorgeous young woman. "Alice…" she cannot help but whisper out once again. She can't help but stare at her features. Fully mature and developed, she can't help but compare her beauty to her own. Underland isn't short of beautiful people but makeup and cosmetics are typically the hard workers. But royalty are expected to be naturally beautiful with little to no help. Mirana is unnaturally pale, yes, but against popular belief, there is no contribution to her overall skin tone. A decent part of her wishes that she has more pigment. But many recognize it to be beautiful regardless of her self-image.
The more she takes in Alice, the more she begins to take notice of a lack of cosmetics. Her face holds extraordinarily little makeup to where she attempts to search for it but to no avail. She also takes notice of the lack of a corset for she sees the way her body moves easily. And upon her dress flowing behind her as she goes door to door, there are no stockings. She realizes that she has chosen comfort over etiquette and that confirms the young woman to be Alice, not that she had suspicions it wasn't her.
She watches with amusement as Alice spots the tiny door, more amused by her actions as she tries to piece it together as she goes as opposed to looking around and thinking. She knows that Alice always wants to take action as soon as she can and while others might see it as a flaw, she cannot help but admire her determination and willingness to keep trying no matter how many times she kept failing.
Mirana notices both the upelkuchen and the pishsalver. Unfortunately, Alice only takes note of the liquid and it is obvious that she doesn't remember what it does to which the queen becomes disheartened. She wonders how much of her memory is truly affected and if… she remembers her. She does not know the rules of Time in the Abovelands. She knows that it has been far too long in Underland, however. Equivalent to centuries. She has stopped counting long ago for it is far too tedious.
She smirks as she takes a swing, almost immediately shrinking. "Come on, Alice. Think it through," she speaks aloud. The teenager, now realizing her size, makes her way to the door, attempting to open it merely to discover that it has locked again. She sees her frustration, the girl eventually turning around, spotting the key laying on top of the glass table to which a curse escapes her lips. The monarch cannot help but laugh, feeling as though it is Alice's nature to curse, wondering how often she allows them to slip, whether or not it is intentional. She is also aware of how easily it is spoken, giving the indication that it isn't her first time with foul language.
She is patient as Alice works through the puzzle, especially when she lays eyes on the upelkuchen and takes a bite out of it. And she grows, the material becoming taunt around her body and she can make out her full physique, the entirety of her body and she cannot help herself as her cheeks grow red. Despite the clothing, very little is left to the imagination, especially the areas around her chest and stomach.
Her eyes travel up and down her body, her throat becoming dry as she wonders if it is appropriate to have any… thoughts that she does not usually have. She is aware of her cheeks becoming flushed, unable to tear her gaze away from the woman. "She was practically your daughter, Mirana," she mumbles to herself, watching as Alice takes the key. "You have no right to see her in such a way, regardless of how beautiful she is now."
But she wasn't yours the voice in her head argues in return. She was never your daughter. You merely took care of her.
"No. It still isn't okay."
She has grown into a beautiful young woman. She's mature now. She is not a child. Certainly it is acceptable to indulge just a bit. Otherwise her beauty will go to waste.
"Her beauty is not mine to claim nor fantasize about."
Yet you are not harming her and no one needs to know. She is absolutely stunning, do you not agree?
"Of course! But it feels… Wrong. Especially if she doesn't know."
Which is precisely why you should do it. Go on. Allow yourself. Just for today. You've been frustrated and lonely lately. You deserve it. Remember, she doesn't know. And what she doesn't know cannot harm her.
She looks back up at the smoke as the voice fades, lifting her hand, hesitating before allowing the smoke to envelope it. She slowly moves her hand, the scene revering to just after Alice consumed the upelkuchen. She looks for the perfect frame before she retreats, taking a jar and gathering the smoke before she exits the kitchen.
Heading to her bedroom, she locks the doors, laying on the bed. She is careful whilst removing the lid of the jar, breathing in the smoke as it escapes, her eyes closed as the image becomes crystal clear in her head. Every little detail of her body is there as she takes in the lesser ones closely, wanting to explore and study all she has to offer.
A part of her, an extraordinarily large part of her, cannot help what she wants. Mirana has never focused on her sexuality before. In fact, she never had any interest in the dating game. All suitors she had met were men but she never took a fancy to any of them no matter how sweet, kind or handsome they were. She cares not of land nor wealth. But what really turns her off is the fakeness, the facades. She has yet to meet a genuinely kind and real man.
She has never had a female suitor before and she sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a female partner. While same gender marriage isn't forbidden, nor is it illegal, it's not quite as often as one would think. Children are rare in Underland simply due to a short fertility period and how long people are alive for. When people in Underland marry, they marry for life. Divorce is rarely an event that unfolds simply because the connections almost immediately are established upon the first meeting. It's almost akin to love at first sight or soulmates. Divorce isn't illegal. If something did happen for the two to split, it's either death or a prison sentence for a crime.
As the queen thinks, she begins to wonder if her interest in Alice, now that she has grown, is actually the universe telling her that this is who she is to be with. That Alice is her special someone.
However, she is unable to think too much on that for now she cannot help but refocus on the image in her head. She's gorgeous, isn't she? The voice intrudes once again. Why not take this time to relieve some of that sexual frustration you got there? Mirana is unable to respond, only focused on the woman in her mind.
The room begins to grow warmer each passing moment and she finds it much too hot in her dress. She quickly discards the garment, laying down on the cool bedsheets, her eyes still closed. She allows her hands to roam with little thought, enjoying the sensation. She doesn't even recall the last time she's allowed herself to think anything sexual, nonetheless act upon it. However, it doesn't last long, a knock on the doors pulling her out of her thoughts. She sighs, sitting up and opening her eyes, allowing the image to disappear before she redresses.
xxxXxxx
"I recognize that mass of hair anywhere. Is it Alice?" Iracebeth tilts her head in confusion as she studies the Oraculum. "What's she doing with my Jabberwocky?"
"She appears to be slaying it," Stayne responds simply. Iracebeth's heart stops for more than one reason, her face paling as she turns to the knave.
"She killed my Jabber-baby-wocky?!"
"Not yet but she will if we do not stop her."
"Find Alice, Stayne! Find her!" Before Stayne has any time for extra input, she is already out of the main hallway, heading towards the chess room. "Back?" she whispers to herself, a flurry of emotions rushing through her. Joy, anger, sadness, uncertainty, fear… Fear, why fear?
Alice holds a special place in Iracebeth's heart, whether or not she wishes to admit it. She was exceedingly fond of the child for many reasons, especially one being that she did not judge Iracebeth on what others told her of her. But what now? If she is killing her Jabberwocky, then surely she is against her. Surely she doesn't care for her any longer… Mirana probably turned her against her… Mirana took her from her, just like she does with everything else. Now Alice too. Now Alice. But not if Stayne gets her first. Wait.
Iracebeth begins to pace back and forth, thinking. Stayne had attempted to sexually assault her when she was but a child. There's nothing telling her that he wouldn't try again, right? Maybe she can fight him off or he won't take her name that she's… Older. She can't help but grow disgusted at that thought and a large part of her never truly forgave him for that.
She leans against one of the chess pieces, hating absolutely everything about the situation. "I swear, if he does anything to her and I fucking find out about it, he's losing both of his heads," she grumbles to herself. "I have to somehow make sure that neither Alice nor the Jabberwocky get killed… But the oracle shows… No, she hasn't slain him yet. Maybe neither will die. If I can just ensure that Alice trusts me and doesn't fall into Mirana's traps like everyone else. She's too smart for that, surely." She looks up at the still pieces. "Surely," she sighs.
She isn't aware of how long she remained in the chess room for, only being pulled away when the doors open. She turns, her eyes narrowing upon seeing Stayne. "How many damn times must I tell you to not open those doors ever?!"
"I have just been informed that Queen Mirana wishes to have a meeting with you as soon as possible. She says that it's urgent and it has to do with recent events in Underland. She said to just arrive at Marmoreal whenever you wish."
Iracebeth nods, shooing him away, taking in this information. She wonders if it isn't too late to go now before she decides against it. "Stayne, prepare the horses. I have much to discuss with her that requires both of our attention."
Mirana greets Iracebeth at the door, for she knew that she would be there that very day. She turns immediately when the two enter the meeting hall. "Alice is back," she speaks.
"She is to be your champion," Iracebeth answers, her body tense. "The Oraculum shows her fighting my Jabberwocky. But it gives no inclination of how the fight ends, who dies and who lives."
"You are aware of the reasoning," the White Queen responds.
"You are to turn her against me."
"That is why I called this meeting in such haste. She loved you as a child. She loved the both of us and she brought us back together as sisters. I don't want to fight. You know that very well."
"What of the crown? Surely you will not allow me to keep it." Her voice grows soft as she studies her younger sister.
"Is the crown more important than Alice? That you will allow her to risk her life?"
"That goes both ways, my dear sister," she answers. "For all you will have to do is state that the crown is mine. There will be no fighting."
"Racie…" she whimpers at that. "Forget about the crown. Forget about two separate kingdoms. Why not rule together, side by side, as sisters, as equals?" She takes a step forward, on the verge of tears. "Please. We almost reached that point when Alice was here. Now that she's back… We can… We can work on being a family again."
"And when she leaves?" Iracebeth now brings up. "This isn't her home. She isn't going to stay here. Just like last time, she's going to leave."
"She got sick. We couldn't help that. Since she's not from here, she wasn't immune."
"Exactly. What else is she not immune to? Underland isn't safe. Not even to the inhabitants, nonetheless a human. Humans are a lot weaker than us. They behave differently. They aren't as strong as us."
"But maybe now that she's older," Mirana attempts to reason. "And now that she has independence, she-."
"Can do what? Give up everything that she built up there for people down here she might not even remember? There's a reason she's back… And once she's done, that'll be that. She'll leave and… it'll be like she was never here. Except worse because… you know… There's a difference between hopeful and deluded."
"And you would rather her risk her life and potentially die than allow her visit to be something meaningful to where she can leave whenever she wants to?"
"It's your decision as much as it is mine… As you said, we don't need to fight, as long as I keep the crown."
Mirana stands there in silence before sighing. "Then I suppose this meeting is over. Have a good night." She gives a brief nod to her sister before the redhead leaves, feeling even worse than before. She is unsure of what she should do. Is Alice worth less than the crown? No, it's not the title, but the power behind it. The crown means nothing to her. But without it, she cannot do anything to stop Iracebeth's reign and as much as she hated to admit it, her sister is a tyrant. If Alice is to die, it would be one life for thousands, giving if she does succeed in killing the Jabberwocky, for the possibility of both of them dying is not ruled out entirely. The Jabberwocky's claws and electricity is laced with venom. If it somehow gets into Alice's system, she can be killed within minutes.
"You worry that you are not making the right decision?" Chessur inquires as he appears to which the White Queen turns to him. There is an extraordinary sadness in her dark eyes and she appears to be on the verge of tears. "Have faith in her, my Queen."
"Have you seen her yet, Chess?"
"I just brought her to the Hatter. The Bandersnatch unfortunately managed to get a hit on her. Nothing serious, just her arm. But be sure to clean it when she arrives, the cuts tend to get infected, even if covered."
She nods in return before sighing. "I do not want her to risk her life. She does not deserve this path set out for her."
"What will you do after she defeats the Jabberwocky?" Chess asks casually, not seemingly too concerned with Mirana's worries.
"You act as though her life isn't at stake," she points out to which the cat offers a large grin in return.
"But it isn't. She is capable of far more than you think she is."
"How do you know?"
"I took more than one visit up there. Time goes by very slowly. Remember that Time where I was no where to be seen? Well, more than once and not due to evaporation."
"Did she see you at all? Recognize you?"
"She saw me. Plenty of times actually. I've been tempted to talk to her, remind her of Underland but her mother and sisters always were near her and if I just spoke to Alice, I do not believe the result would have been good. There are places that people are sent to if they are seen as mad. I lingered inside one, horrendous they are. They do despicable things to the women there. Men are simply left to do or are tested on. I spoke to a few there who did not mind sharing their stories. None of them seemed mad to me but I suppose it is much different up there. But it appeared to me that neither Alice's mother nor sister would hesitate in sending her there."
Mirana immediately shudders at the thought of the blonde being subjected to rape or torture, even death. "So those who plead insanity…?"
"Are basically sentenced to death. If they resist or are violent, they are strapped down and left to die by experimentation or neglect."
"And nobody sees anything wrong with that?" Mirana demands, growing paler if that was even possible.
"All are classified as 'dangerous' so they believe it to be safer if they are locked away. Some take it upon themselves to kill family members so they are not subjected to the torture that the asylum gives them."
"Asylum?" the queen looks at Chess. "Is that what they call it?"
"Yes. Insane asylum is the technical term."
"N-no! Asylum is giving safety to people! Not torturing and killing those over something that isn't in their control!"
"I suppose that they have different definitions, sadly."
"Did you see how Alice is treated by her family?"
Chessur grows quiet and the monarch grows worried of what his answer might be. "She has been disciplined for the majority of her life. Often physically."
"So she was abused?"
"Not according to them."
"I don't care what they say! Physical discipline is not discipline! And a child, nonetheless!" she shakes her head with disgust. "Our lessons were strict but never have our teachers laid a hand on us with the intention of harming us! What they do up there simply isn't acceptable!"
"They believe that it works," Chess shrugs.
"Next thing you're going to tell me is that they sexually assault girls to teach them about sex."
"I wouldn't put it past them."
"Chess, that's enough for today. I feel far too sick with what you've already told me to hear anymore."
"I'm sorry."
"No. You are not at fault. Thank you for telling me what you did… We, unfortunately, cannot change her past. But we can make her future for the better."