Stardate 1874, Upothas II

"How long until the rest of the landing party gets here?" Alathea whispered to Br'tar as to not awake Chris. In-between the pain and the nightmares, he hadn't been able to catch more than a couple of hours of sleep at a time.

"Few hours," Br'tar answered, hazarding a glance towards his captain. The man's skin had turned a greyish tone, his breathing was labored, and he was barely moving. "How is he holding up?"

"As best as he can," Alathea responded. "I wish I could transfuse him but none of us are a match. All we can do is make him as comfortable as possible until Enterprise can get to us."

Br'tar nodded. "Temperatures are dropping fast. We should retreat to the other pod that's been built deeper into the mountain. Can we move him?"

"Not until Spock gets here and I can stabilize the fracture."

"Thea?"

The two officers turned their attention towards their captain. The doctor immediately rushed to his side, taking his hand. "Hey...," she said with a comforting smile. His face was contorted in pain. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," Pike acknowledged. The little sleep he had managed to catch had at least allowed for his stomach to settle.

"That's good." Thea placed her hand on his forehead. His fever was definitely getting higher. "How about eating something?"

Pike shook his head as the thought of food triggered a wave of nausea.

"At least some water?" Alathea insisted.

Pike weakly nodded. Alathea turned to Br'tar for assistance but the security officer had anticipated her need and was already fetching one of their water packs. Together, they managed to get Pike into a half-seated position. "Drink slowly," Alathea instructed, holding the pack's aperture to Chris' lips.

Chris drank half of the water before pushing the pack away. "Lie down," he asked in a labored breath. Br'tar and Alathea gently lowered him back on the operating table.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Alathea dismissed Br'tar as gently as possible. She knew the security officer just wanted to help but for Chris, it was torture to be seen in this state.

"I'll get started on breakfast," he replied, not offended by the request.

As soon as the Masonian left the room, Alathea scanned Chris with her tricorder. His body temperature registered at 100.3F, definitely higher than would be expected from shock, and his nerves kept responding to the pain in his leg. Despite his stoic demeanor, Alathea knew he must be in agony. "Chris, no lying. On a scale of 1-10, how bad is the pain?"

"Eight," Chris answered truthfully after a while.

"Spock and the others are going to be here soon." She felt powerless. "Would you let me have a look at your wound?"

Chris shook his head. "Please, don't touch me."

"Ok," she agreed. It could wait until Spock got here. "Want to try to get some more sleep?"

Her question was met with another shake of the head. "I don't think I'll fall asleep again. Can we talk?"

Alathea didn't pressure him further. "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Chris closed his eyes. Explosion. Fire. Pain. He jerked himself awake and yelped when it triggered a wave of pain.

Alathea placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Take it easy, Chris. You're going to be ok. We'll be on Enterprise soon."

Pike never considered he could die on this mission; his experience on Boreth told him that much. "You worked with victims of delta radiation?" Taken aback by the question, Alathea stuttered a quick acknowledgment. "What does it feel like?" Pike insisted.

"Chris, I don't think…"

Chris interrupted, "Please, I need to know."

Alathea relented and answered his question, "it depends on how much exposure and how fast the patient can be moved to a facility capable of treating the radiation. Assuming a slow leak and a regen chamber available within an hour, it's barely noticeable at the beginning. The pain starts when the nerves surrounding the exposed tissue start fraying. Then the whole area is dead from all sensations within a matter of months. Usually the pain can be managed with nerve blockers."

"What happens at high dosage, like from the explosion of a baffled plate?"

"Pain-wise? Not much," Alathea sighed, unsure where this conversation was going. "At that level, the nerves will be completely destroyed in an instant. But without the nervous system, the patient would have to be put on life support almost immediately if they were to survive."

"And if they do survive?"

"I don't know, Chris. Nobody has ever survived that much radiation leak for more than a few hours. Even if they did, they would soon be unable to even communicate."

"But Nathan was working on a treatment?"

"You remember that?"

Pike nodded. In the time he had on Earth after the loss of the Discovery, he had read all available material about delta radiation and the promising treatment from Nathaniel Luna. "Did he ever complete it?"

Alathea nodded. "In some cases, he was able to stop the nerve damage and even reverse the condition. But it was leaving the patient in extreme chronic pain, so it was never approved for wide use. It's reserved for some of the most critical patients, for whom there is no chance of survival outside extreme treatment. But…" Alathea shook her head. This was a sensitive subject between her and her husband and one of the reasons she had taken a posting on the Enterprise. As doctors, they were first and foremost obligated to do no harm and she couldn't say in good conscience that Nathan's treatment was not causing harm. Sometimes death could be preferable to the agony of living. She had first-hand experience on the subject. "Chris, I don't think we should be talking about that."

Pike watched as Alathea's expression became harder. He knew that look well. He had seen it countless times whenever she was confronted with a touchy subject. And he also knew that there was no point in asking more questions. She would not answer them. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have pushed the subject."

Alathea gave him a soft smile, "it's ok. I just don't really want to talk about Nathan and his research."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out between the two of you."

Alathea chuckled. "You've always been a poor liar."

Chris returned her smile. "Ok, I'm not sorry that things didn't work out between the two of you. But I want you to be happy, Thea."

"Maybe you were right…," Thea paused, "maybe Starfleet officers aren't meant to be with someone."

"You don't believe that. Besides, I've had the privilege to marry many officers as captain."

"And how many have stayed happily married?"

"Point taken," Pike conceded.

"How about you? Anyone in your life?"

Pike looked away, unsure on how to answer the question. If he were honest with himself, he would tell Alathea how he really felt about her. And then, there was Vina. His experience on Talos may not have been real but his feelings for Vina were. "It's complicated," he finally settled on the vague statement.

"I think that sums up about every relationship across the galaxy."

They stayed silent for a long time, just content to be with each other. Chris was fighting to stay awake, afraid of the nightmares that have been plaguing him since Boreth. He didn't regret his decision. His life was inconsequential in the grand scheme of saving every living soul in the universe but he was terrified of the future he had seen. Chris whimpered as images of the disfigured man in the mechanical chair flashed before his eyes.

"Shh..." Alathea gently caressed his side. "You're ok. Spock is going to be here soon. Once I can stabilize your leg properly, you'll feel better."

Chris turned his face away from Alathea, breathing slowly through the pain. His friend was rubbing his side, trying to impart as much comfort as she could. The contact appeased him but he also dreaded the day where he would no longer be able to feel the soothing touch. And he wouldn't allow Alathea to see him in this state. No, it wouldn't be fair to her.

"Chris?" Alathea called softly as she watched Chris struggle with his inner demons. She wished he would confide in her but probing him further would only make him retreat. "Would you let me remove your top? It will be more comfortable," she offered instead. After a moment of hesitation, Chris nodded slowly. Althea smiled softly before removing the blankets and fully unzipping his jacket. She helped him remove it, careful not to move his leg, and let it fall on the floor. His undershirt was drenched in sweat from his fever. "I'm going to cut your shirt," She told him before grabbing the scissors from the surgical tray. Chris closed his eyes as the fabric was peeled off his body. Alathea used the torn shirt to dry off his torso and arms. Chris relaxed, enjoying the cool sensation. "Feels good?" Alathea asked him with a smile. Chris nodded. "How about I get some warm water?" Her question was met by another nod. As much as he hated to show vulnerability, the touches were soothing. "I'll be right back," Alathea promised, placing the blankets back.

As soon as Alathea left the room, Chris examined his surroundings. The room was not much larger than the Enterprise sickbay and was lacking the same privacy he had always hated aboard starships. He hated to have to report to sickbay. Not only was he at Boyce's mercy but he also often had an audience while doing so. He shivered at the thought of what laid ahead. He should get used to the lack of privacy.

Lost in his dark thoughts, he jumped slightly when Alathea came back with the warm water. "Sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You don't have to do this."

Alathea sighed at her friend's stubbornness. She placed the bucket at her feet and pulled back the covers. "It will help with the fever." She started washing his body, watching in relief as Chris relaxed onto the bed. "Feels better?" Chris nodded. Within a few minutes, he closed his eyes and fell into a restful slumber.

STSTST

USS Enterprise

"Number One, incoming transmission from Starfleet Command," Garison informed the acting captain of the Enterprise. "Priority One."

Una frowned at the request. "Patch it to the conference room. Tyler you have the bridge!" she added before making her way to the turbolift. Priority One was reserved for highly classified missions. Their mishap on Upothas wasn't exactly of classified nature. As soon as she reached the conference room doubling as the captain's ready room, she ordered for the computer to begin transmission. "Admiral Mayweather!" she gasped in surprise as soon as she recognized the admiral on the screen.

"Commander," Mayweather greeted somberly. "I wish we'd meet under better circumstances. What's the status on the planet?"

"Unchanged, sir. One of our away teams is still trapped inside the cave. Mr. Spock is doing his best to get to the captain… and your daughter."

"Your priority is to rescue the members of this away team."

"Aye, sir," Number One acknowledged.

"Starfleet reviewed your report and the consensus is that Upothas falls under worlds protected by the Prime Directive. The call sent by their ancestors a long time ago is not enough to justify a full intervention.'

"May I speak freely, sir?"

"By all means."

"The away team didn't take any precautions before beaming down since we assumed an advanced civilization and we couldn't get appropriate scans of the area. The cultural contamination has already happened. They have the right to know that the Great Experiment was a failure! These people have been holding back on other sciences for centuries while hoping for the return of their elites. Besides, they may still be holding some of our people."

Mayweather leaned towards his computer console. "Commander, we are well aware that the members of the first away team are missing. From Lieutenant Br'tar's assessment of the situation, they have been assumed KIA."

"They might still be alive!" Una gasped.

"And this is something that I'm ordering the Enterprise to investigate, within the parameters of first contact protocol with non-warp capable cultures. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Una spat out, controlling the urge not to scream at her superior officer.

"Good. As far as their right to know about the failure of the Great Experiment, Starfleet disagrees with your assessment. We will not interfere in the cultural evolution of another species, even though we disagree on the nature of that evolution. This is the oath we took when we joined Starfleet."

"Sir," Number One started to argue. She reined herself in upon seeing the disapproval on the admiral's face and answered with a tense, "Yes, sir," instead.

"As far as your first point is concerned, Starfleet command has ordered a full review of Captain Pike's decision and the chain of command aboard Enterprise…"

"Sir, I take full responsibility…" Una interrupted.

The admiral motioned to stop with his hand. "That includes a full review of the admiralty to have placed Pike back in command when he hadn't cleared all psychological evaluations. As much as Dr. Boyce would like to take full blame for what's happening, we can both agree that there is plenty to go around. Mine included."

"Dr. Boyce?" Number One frowned.

The admiral's eyes narrowed at the officer's surprise. "Dr. Boyce handed in his resignation this morning," Mayweather informed Number One.

"He what?" It took all of her self-control to not storm out of the conference room and confront the Enterprise's CMO.

"Commander, I think it's time to make this official. I'm transferring command of the Enterprise to you. Your orders are to evacuate the away team as soon as it is safe to do so, evaluate the feasibility of a possible extraction of the first away team within no-contact parameters, and report to Starbase 4. I want to make this perfectly clear: Captain Pike is relieved from duty effective immediately under Starfleet Medical Regulation 121, Section A. Is this clear?"

"Yes, sir," Number One answered. She couldn't believe that this conversation was taking place. Yet, it would explain the Priority One call.

"On a personal note, I must give you another warning." Mayweather paused, waiting to receive Number One's full attention. "Chris and Thea share an unbreakable connection that goes beyond loyalty or friendship. They will do anything for each other. And I mean anything. If it comes a time when rescuing Captain Pike is not an option…"

"She won't make the call." Number One understood why Mayweather had made the call himself. But she was also struggling with the idea that she would have to command for Starfleet officers to be left behind. Since when had Command been so cavalier with life? Since the Klingon War, Number One realized. They had to make the tough decisions to win the war and old habits often died hard. Starfleet had gone from being a force of peace and exploration to an army. And even though Enterprise had been spared the atrocities of the war, she was now part of that army.

Mayweather nodded. "I hope that it won't come to this. I've known Chris since he was five years old. He's like a son to me but my primary responsibility is to make sure that we can retrieve as many of our people as possible without contaminating this culture further."

"Aye, sir."

"Mayweather out."

Number One stared at the blank screen for a long time after Admiral Mayweather ended the transmission. For the first time for as long as she could remember, she didn't know what to do. All the analyses in the world couldn't solve the problems that had plagued the Enterprise since leaving dry dock. It wasn't something that could be fixed by logic and rules and Number One felt outside of her element. She found herself walking towards the turbolift; she needed time to gather herself before going back to the bridge. And she needed an ear. The same ear Pike had used over and over during his career.

She found Boyce in his office, the large screen on the wall displaying Pike's lifesigns from Alathea's tricorder. "How is he doing?"

Boyce jumped at the unexpected presence. "As… ok… at least as far as ok applies to his condition," he blurted out. "Chris is asleep. Deep, restful sleep. This is the best we can hope for at the moment."

Number One nodded once before slumping in the chair opposite Boyce. "Got a call from Admiral Mayweather. He had some news I wish I had learned from you first."

Boyce leaned back in his chair and heavily sighed. "I screwed up, Una. And a lot of people down there will be paying the price."

"We screwed up," Number One amended. "And I don't know how your resignation will change that fact. But it will affect everyone on this ship."

Boyce slowly stood up and started pacing the length of his office. "After we came back from our first five-year tour, I asked to be transferred back to Earth. Starfleet Medical. Teaching position. Chris approved it. He knew that I'd been wanting to go back home for years. Well, since he took command," Boyce chuckled dryly. "He only asked for one favor: that I would find my replacement."

"Alathea Mayweather," Number One whispered.

"Yes. He wasn't pleased by the decision at first."

"What changed in his mind?"

"He didn't. But Command agreed with my decision and for obvious reasons, CMOs are outside the normal transfer or promotion protocols." Una shifted in her seat; she was perfectly aware of Starfleet regulations but she couldn't help feeling blindsided by the decision. Oblivious to his commanding officer's internal turmoil, Boyce continued, "we agreed that I would stay on for our first mission since Mayweather was new onboard. I was to disembark after Upothas. Apparently, that wasn't soon enough."

"Phil, you're not responsible for the situation."

Boyce shrugged. "I am, Una. My one job is to look after the crew and because of my personal feelings, I failed them." He sighed. "The signs were there: the jumpiness, the bags under his eyes betraying the lack of sleep, the short temper, the outbursts, and his detachment to his crew. Chris might be the most decorated combat officer in the fleet, this is not what makes him a good captain. It's the smile he gives to the crewmember in the lower decks, the rotation on away missions so everyone is given a chance to shine, his open-door policy for everyone who needs a sympathetic ear…"

"Phil," Number One interrupted, "we all saw the signs. But none of us wanted to believe it. We don't know what happened…," Number One caught herself before pronouncing the ship's name, "... on his special assignment. But he came back different and the months spent on Earth just made him worse. He didn't need a vacation. He needed his friends…"

"But he wouldn't come to us."

"So you were hoping he would go to Mayweather."

Boyce nodded. "I was hoping that he would at least talk to her and try to make her feel welcome, like he would do for any other crewmember."

"Phil, Admiral Mayweather wants us to retrieve the away teams and head to Starbase 4."

"Yes, I've contacted one of my colleagues there. We agreed to start treatment as soon as we can get him back onboard but he needs a lot more than what I can do for him here. In my resignation, I've also impressed upon Starfleet the need to have a counselor onboard for 5-year missions. I'm a surgeon. Not a psychiatrist!"

"Mayweather also relieved Pike from duty," Una cut it, unwilling to hear Boyce further blaming himself.

"Una, Pike is unfit for command. Heck, he's unfit to make any decision for himself right now! And quite frankly, so am I."

"Phil, he's listening to Mayweather and she is keeping him safe and calm. She's managed to get him to sleep. You recommended her for this mission because you thought she was best for the job. She is. You made the best decision under the circumstances."

STSTST

"Chris, you're with me. Everything's ok," Alathea whispered as Pike started to moan in his sleep, about to fully wake. "You fell asleep and you're safe here."

Chris' eyes fluttered open. "How long?," he asked slightly out of breath from his nightmare.

"A couple of hours." Alathea gently caressed his forehead, moving his hair back. "How are you feeling?"

"Pain." Tears were streaming down his face as Pike was losing the little bit of control he had over his emotions. Alathea cupped his cheeks and gently wiped the tears. "I'm so tired," Chris finally admitted.

"Spock is almost here. Once I can treat you, it will be easier to sleep."

Pike shook his head. "It's not just the pain… I've been having nightmares."

"Do you want to talk to me about them?" Alathea probed gently. For Chris to admit that he had a problem was a step in the right direction and she didn't want to place him on the defensive.

"I can't… It's classified." Pike admitted, relieved that he could hide behind the classified nature of his last mission.

Alathea didn't push him. She knew he could avoid the sensitive information; she didn't need to know the details of his mission to help him. "I'll be here when you're ready," she conceded.

"I'm scared," Pike confessed. He had started shivering as a result of both his fever and emotional distress.

"Chris, we will get you back on Enterprise." She wrapped the blankets more tightly around him.

Pike shook his head. "I know I won't die here."

Alathea was taken aback but the certainty in his voice. "I'll make you as comfortable as I can while we wait out the storm. And once we're back, Phil and I will help you with the PTSD." She searched his face for a reaction. She took his lack of denial as a sign to continue. "You're not alone, Chris. And it's not a weakness to ask for help."

"You can't help me, Thea. And neither can Phil."

"How about you let us try? What do you have to lose?" Pike considered the question. "Chris, there is no shame in asking for help from your friends when you need it," Alathea continued. "I know how hard this is for you but you need to let me in. I won't hurt you." Pike reached for Alathea's hand. She knew this was the only acknowledgment she would get today. She squeezed his hand back in response.

STSTST

"Lieutenant!" Landais called after Spock. "This path is blocked 100 meters in front of us," the security officer reported, slightly out of breath.

Spock flicked his communicator open. "Spock to Enterprise!"

"Enterprise," came the voice of the bridge science officer. "Already rerouting you," the young officer informed her crewmates after receiving the data from Landais' tricorder. The process was tedious. Without orbital scans, they had been relying on mapping the vast cave system by hand.

Spock schooled his feature into his Vulcan mask before answering. Although most species believed that Vulcans didn't feel emotions, it was not the case. His people still felt the same anger as the Tellarites, passion as the Andorians, and fascination as Humans did but they chose to not let them rule over their decisions. But right now, he was having troubles controlling his frustration and fear for this captain's well-being. "Ensign Sim, may I suggest a different approach?"

"Spock, this is Number One," the newly promoted captain cut in. "As you are perfectly aware, your solution would involve trying to access the original team's tricorders. Per Starfleet orders, we are to minimize our influence on the Upothians and firing up a tricorder with all kinds of lights is not going to achieve this."

"Commander… Captain," Spock corrected himself. "I believe we could do so without 'firing up a tricorder with all kinds of lights'. We could use them in passive mode and measure the strength of the signals to our tricorders and that of Lieutenant Br'tar's. This should give us an indication of the amount of solid rocks between all of us. The differences would be minute but we should be able to record them nonetheless."

This statement was followed by a long pause. Spock could imagine Number One's frown as she considered his proposition. "Ensign Sim, work with Mr. Spock but you're not to activate the original away team's tricorder. Understood?"

"Understood, sir," came Sim's response.

"Mister Spock, in the meantime, please have Johnson and Landais continue to explore the tunnels. It may be slow progress but it is progress nonetheless."

"Understood, Captain. And sir? How is the captain doing?"

"I think he would appreciate the secondary medical kit."

Spock understood the urgency behind Number One's light tone. She didn't want to cause a panic among the crew but they needed to hurry. "Aye, sir."

STSTST

Pike screamed as another wave of pain propagated through his body. He threw his head back, grinding his teeth in a futile attempt to suppress his cries but the motion only resulted in more pain from his leg. "Br'tar!" Alathea called the security officer.

The Masonian was already entering the infirmary, alerted by his captain's screams. "What happened?," he asked as he jogged towards the struggling duo. The doctor was attempting to restrain their captain but she was no match for his strength.

"His leg cramped up," Alathea answered as soon as Br'tar took her place over Chris' torso. "Keep him from moving more," she ordered while massaging his calf. "Chris, try to relax, just take deep breaths, it will pass in just a minute." Her reassurances were futile. Lost in his pain, Pike couldn't hear her.

"Doctor!" Both Br'tar and Mayweather jumped at the voice. "The secondary kit," Spock insisted, handing Alathea the precious delivery.

In her haste, Alathea's fingers slipped on the opening mechanism but as soon as she managed to open the kit, she silently thanked the medic's mistake when preparing the secondary kit. Instead of the four vials she had expected to see, the kit had all of the eight medications typically contained in the primary kit, including tetrovaline. Although the powerful anesthetic would affect Pike's immune response, Alathea did not hesitate. She filled the hypospray and injected Chris in the neck. The captain's eyes rolled up and his body went limp on the operating table within a few seconds. Alathea gently caressed his forehead. "You're going to be ok," she whispered to her unconscious patient. She quickly switched the vial for the antibiotic and injected Pike again.

"Doctor, what's his situation?" Spock asked as soon as the doctor was finished with their captain.

"I gave him tetrovaline. He should be out for the next 3 to 4 hours. I'll use that time to stabilize his leg. After that, we'll have to rely on the analgesics. They will help but since I'll have to ration them, they won't fully take away his pain."

"Why not keep him sedated until we can get back the Enterprise?" Johnson asked, still shaken from hearing his captain's screams.

"Because tetrovaline depresses the immune response," Spock answered in his usual matter-of-fact tone. "And the captain has a high fever, suggesting an infection."

Mayweather nodded. "I'll sedate him again before we move him to the pod closer to the landing site."

"As far as the other necessities, we have plenty of water and food to last all four days but I suggest we ration them as well," Spock continued. "We should take turns resting and, Doctor, you should let me have a look at your ribs." Alathea's startled look prompted Spock to clarify. "I have basic medical training in case I'm needed for a medical emergency. I can assist you."

"Thank you… Mister Spock," Alathea blurted out. "But we should first stabilize the captain."

"A wise decision," Spock conceded. "I can see why the captain trusts you with his life."

Alathea blushed at the comment. She had hoped that her long relationship with Pike hadn't been part of the usual starship gossip but she had obviously been mistaken.