"Are you fucking insane?" Rosalie blared at me as we settled into the dining room table.
Carlisle had called a meeting just as he had with Edward. I had only hope that it would progress differently with experience in the situation now.
"Rosalie!" Esme chided.
"Now, we've been through this before. Let us please try to be civil with this children." Carlisle pleaded.
"It's odd seeing you veer on the side of not wanting to kill the human this time brother." Edward remarked with a smile. I glared at him, a growl rumbling deep in my chest.
"This is different, and you know that Edward. But all the same, I do apologize for my previous remarks Bella. They were unsolicited, ill-advised, and placed unnecessary strain on the relationship and future of the two of you." I softened.
"It's fine Jasper, I'd probably want to kill me too if it was to protect family." She laughed gently.
"Taking Alice into the family yet again will require an updated and more rigorous feeding schedule on all of our parts." Carlisle informed pointedly. I was beyond aware of my current state of being. I had caught a glimpse of myself on the way out of Alice's room. I was terrifying. It is a wonder the boy allowed me into the apartment, let alone to Alice's room.
"Can he even handle this? Or are we just going to go through all of this painful shit just to lose her again." Rosalie voiced.
"It was different tonight. She was already privy of the most intimate details of our relationship and existence. She's not fully human either. I cannot explain it, but she sat in the snow for hours without even moving. The run didn't faze her either."
"She wasn't disoriented to all hell?" Bella inquired.
I shook my head. "It was incredible. She was so in control of her every reaction and remark, not afraid in any way."
"Curious." Carlisle murmured to himself. "And her blood. Does it appeal to you in the way it has prior?"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enticed by it. However, it is not to the extent that it has been. It's peculiar. I find myself more drawn to her…intimately, rather than I am through thirst." I sputtered.
"Ha! How long's it been since you've been a virgin Jazzy?" Emmett was rewarded with another glare for Esme, though she did not protest.
"Are you kidding me? Did you see what he did to the wall when she just fucking touched his face? Could you seriously think he could handle it if she touched his…"
Esme interrupted her, "Rosalie, now that is quite enough."
"Certain levels of precaution must be taken we have seen. Not that Renesmee is not a blessing, but we have no idea of Alice's physiological make-up." Carlisle faltered almost thinking aloud.
"I know the risks, and that is not something I am willing to risk. Alice had never wanted a family of her own before, so I would not expose her to the possibility if not absolutely necessary."
"Who are you to make that decision for her? How dare you take away the only chance she has at a normal happy life?" Rosalie stated snidely.
"Am I taking away her chances by not being carnal with her, or by simply being with her dear sister? Perhaps you should formulate your arguments deeper before issuing them."
"Hey, dude. She's just looking out for Alice. None of us really know what's going on. We're just as scared to lose her as you are." Emmett sympathized.
"While I'm sure we are terrified at the prospect of losing Alice, I disagree with you Emmett. I do not believe any of us could possibly fear losing Alice as much as Jasper does. It is obvious Rosalie is privy to the issues of choice being stripped away, and only has Alice's best interests at heart. However, let's not pretend she is speaking from anyone else's behalf aside from her own." Edward retorted bravely. Provoking a growl from Emmett.
"That's enough boys. Can we please focus on the discussion at hand?" Esme redirected.
"I apologize Esme, but what is the issue?" I probed. "The only thing that we should be concerned with is determining what happened to Alice. The decision to allow her back into the family is undeniable. Unless in the event it isn't, I will be leaving."
"No, son. We are not deciding Alice's position within this family. Alice's is and always will be a part of this family. We are simply discussing the necessary precautions for her survival." I was grateful for Esme's remark. She was the one I always respected most. Her maternal instincts were irrefutable.
"Okay, so rule number one. Keep your hands to yourself and your dick in your pants. Moving on now." Emmett remarked incredulously.
Rosalie rose from the table and stormed away. I was grateful for her actions.
"Son, you related earlier that Alice remembers nothing of her disappearance?" Carlisle ventured.
"Alice remembers nothing. She only knows what she has seen in visions that are of the past. She claimed to have a sensation of remembering; however, the events were not of her own recollection." I confirmed.
"Well she sure as shit acts the same as before. It was like she never left earlier. I think that's what's got Rose so down." Emmett lamented.
"An entirely understandable reaction. I have been sharing in those feelings since seeing her in the hallway. This however, does not excuse anyone's actions." Esme insisted. Emmett nodded in understanding.
"While this is all terrible, I think having Alice the way she is could have its benefits." Bella offered.
We all turned our attention to her in curiosity.
"This gives her and Jasper another shot at love. Not everyone gets the fortune of falling in love with their mate once, let alone twice. It really goes to show that their initial meeting wasn't a mistake or chance circumstance." Bella gushed holding tightly to Edward's hand risking an intimate glance in his direction.
Venom stung in my eyes and I rose from the table. I walked to the window to stare through the trees to our forest.
Esme rushed cooly to my side and placed a loving hand on my shoulder.
"I know you have always thought that you did not deserve her and that you only corrupted her innocent nature. That is the furthest thing from the truth my darling son. The way you both glow in each other's presence is magnificent."
I lowered my head into my palms shaking with fear, sorrow, guilt, and relief. I had gone so long contemplating release from this world. To think now that I would have been depriving Alice of her true mate. "How extraordinarily selfish I have been." I sobbed. "Towards my gift of a mate. The gift of you all. I've forsaken you all when we were all grieving her, and I have been selfish in her return."
"Can any of us say we would not do the same brother? Edward propounded. "I for certain could not, because I did. I relinquished my place in this family as well for my mate. No one places blame onto you brother. We merely sympathize with your suffering; if that were even to be possible."
"What is a family, if we are not willing to make sacrifices of those closest." Carlisle commanded. "Esme and I have instilled in the whole of you that what we do, we do together; however, we neglected to touch upon what that "together" entails when divided."
"A house divided against itself, cannot stand." Renesmee had been all but silent in her place aside of Edward. She had not had the pleasure of being privy to a family discussion of this magnitude before. I was positive it was a magnificent sight to behold; although her becoming knowledgeable of the turmoil her mother and father faced preconception was less than ideal. Her relation to Lincoln in the moment was appropriate.
In a landmark where turmoil was effervescent, brother was divided against brother, and houses fell. The setting was proper for the current battle.
My brief experiences of the war were heart wrenching and life changing. The sacrifices that were made were endless. No more. "Alice nor myself will suffer anymore. I will simply not allow it. I will not fight this. We get to the bottom of her disappearance, then we take it from there. Carlisle, I'm sure you will want to run tests on her to establish her composition. I will allow that with her consent only. It is imperative that she have a choice in all of this, Rosalie is right on that account." I commanded, feeling rather nostalgic to my time in war. A natural born leader breed to kill and designed to do exactly that.
What on this forsaken Earth was I bringing Alice back into? The dangers this possessed.