We made it to the house in no time. The small car being so close to the ground made 160 feel almost like nothing. Jasper was in such control of the car, it was intimidating. He paid most of his attention to me and made driving with one hand in a blizzard look effortless. I was nervous with him not having his eyes on the road at first, but it became almost normal after a while.
We raced down his drive and parked in his spot in the garage. He raced around the car at his full speed to open my door. It was startling, but also energizing. I took his hand as he helped me out of the car.
"I must warn you Darlin', they are all still very excited to have you home. I hope you are up for a lot of attention."
"It is kind of nice to feel so loved and wanted. I only wish I knew more about them and who they are. My visions always seem to be selfishly focused on us." I frowned.
"In time Ali. Forever does last quite a while."
I hesitated at the insinuation. I hadn't given much thought to my mortality, if that's what you could call it. I shook my head decidedly not being bothered by it.
I reached out for the door knob of the house, but it turned underneath of me. Rosalie opened the door hugging me tightly.
"I'm so glad you've come back. We thought for sure Jasper would fuck this up and scare you off." Rosalie half joked still in our embrace.
It felt nice to be part of something bigger than myself. I had grown up between families, not really fitting in anywhere. Turning 18, going off to college, and finally being on my own was such a relief, though I had missed my sense of belonging. Perhaps that's why I work so well as a Psych and Philosophy double major I laughed internally.
"Are you busy Rose?"
"Not at all. Emmett wanted to spend the night at the apartment, but that can always wait. Why?"
"Well Jasper and I are going to go to a swing dance tonight, and I was wondering if maybe you could help me with makeup and hair?"
Rose's face lit up and she pulled me in for another embrace.
"Yes yes, a million times yes Ali." She exclaimed as she yanked me towards the stairs. I briefly waved at the others and said hi as she towed me past them. Carlisle and Esme shared an intimate look followed by a hug. They seemed really pleased with the situation. It was actually really comforting.
Rosalie burst through the doors of Jaspers bedroom and into his closet waiting patiently for him to come unlock the back door.
Jasper came into the closet with a smirk on his face seemingly pleased as well. "I will get her back won't I?" he asked as he produced the key from his pocket.
"We'll see if I can trust you brother." Rosalie hissed followed by a devilish smile.
"Are you ready for this?" He asked as he reached out for a handle on the set of double doors.
I simply nodded, holding hands tightly with Rosalie.
He just shook his head, laughed, turned the door knob, and pushed them open. When he did this it revealed a huge walk in closet, filled to the brim with the most beautiful clothes I had ever seen.
I stood there with my mouth open, and Rosalie dragged me in further. After she released my hand to examine what we were working with, I walked to the first article of clothing. It was a beautiful lace dress. I read the designer tag and saw that it said Diane con Furstenburg. And the next, Armani and Gucci and Valentino. Wow! All of the clothes were highly expensive brands. How had they had enough money for all of this?
Rosalie moved back to the door, "Thanks Jas, I can take her from here." She issued closing the door in his face. I chuckled.
"Now, you look a thousand times better than you did previously, certainly with a more shapely figure. Still small though…Since were looking for a swing dress, a flared skirt is necessary."
She thumbed through the racks faster than humanly possible, but still gentle enough not to damage any of the clothes. "Ah! Perfect."
She produced a brown crushed velvet dress. It had a deep v neckline with a fitted bodice and flared cap sleeves. The skirt flared from the waist in beautiful pleats that were sure to swing gracefully as I danced. "Knowing Jasper, he'll go east coast mostly. That'll require shorts." She moved to a dresser and selected black shorts with a delicate lace trim. "Perfect,"
She handed me the clothes, "And no bra, you do not need it with as perky as you are. The lines will only ruin the soft look of the dress."
"I am always looking for a reason to go braless." I joked. "This is beautiful Rose, and well-suited for the event. Did you live through then too?"
Her eyes dropped a small smile playing on her face. "I was changed six years before the war. I found Emmett two years later. Our relationship was really steeped in that time period. The nation was sad, but their ways of coping made for interesting beginnings for the both of us. A lot of booze and music. We were initially in Tennesee, but Emmett and I went off on our own to New York till '47. We were at the center of it all."
"How come you chose to be like this? If you don't mind me asking. I'm sorry I just want to know more about you and the family."
"No, it's okay. You should know. I didn't choose this, and I would never suggest you do either. My life was perfect. There were still things I wanted. To be married with a nice house and a husband who kissed me when he came home. A family of my own. Royce King was the most eligible bachelor in town. I barely knew him. But I was young. I was in love with the idea of love. He exploited that. Him and his friends...they left me in the streets thinking I was dead, and believe me I wanted to be. Carlisle found me, he smelled all the blood."
"It was just him, Esme and Edward at the time. He wanted to give Edward what he and Esme had, but it didn't quite work out. I had a hard adjustment, but things got easier after I found Emmett. And a million times easier after you and Jasper found us in 1950." She smiled.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you Rose. I hope they got what they deserved."
"Oh, I'm sure they did." She laughed almost maniacally.
I took the outfit and followed Rose to her room. She sat me in the chair at her vanity, shaking out my lose curls.
"I trust your choices in makeup and hair seeing you did live through it." I laughed nervously. "Can I ask something?"
"Umhm."
"You said you suggest I don't choose this life …Why?"
She shook her head more serious now, tears welling in her eyes.
"If you choose this life Alice, you are signing a contract to lose everything. There will be no chances of a family, no growing old in your lover's arms, no meaning to the life you live. We only matter because we are impermanent. Because we make the best out of the time we're given. When you have all the time in the world, nothing you do matters."
"I…I never wanted a family of my own. Only siblings. I grew up in a foster system and never knew what a loving family was like. I would never subject a baby to that kind of misery and inexperience."
She looked at me through the mirror in front of us. "Alice…"
"I know…It's kind of sad, but I'm really okay with it. Honestly, that's never been part of my plans. Sure, I'd love to have a career and make a difference that way, but having a legacy…" I shook my head. "That's not what I want. I already knew that before Jasper came…back into my life? And growing old? No. I've had visions about this family my entire life. I already knew growing old wasn't something I'd ever see. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of it…I don't think I'm fully human."
She continued placing my hair in pincurls silently.
"I'm sorry Rose. I know that that could be an option, like Bella did. But that's not what I want."
She nodded, tears still in her eyes. "As long as you're the one making that decision, without influence from Jasper or any of us."
"I made that decisions a long time ago Rose." I comforted. She seemed to really be taking this hard. I could understand with her past.
"Is that how Emmett feels too? Like you?"
"He used to, but he always jokes that Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." She laughed. "Having Renesmee in the family satiated his wants for a child. I guess me too, for a little. The growing old and not mattering in the world never bothered him though."
"Kids grow old in the human world too you know. They don't always stay babies." I laughed. "Did you ever think of being a NICU doctor, pediatrician, or something like that?"
She nodded "I have. It wouldn't be for a while. I don't have the resistance it takes for that quite yet. And plus, I don't think I could ever give them back." She giggled.