"We can figure out more of this later, I'm taking Alice up to rest." Jasper announced with no argument from the others.
Jasper had lifted me easily into his arms holding me firmly to him. I felt safe, a feeling I really was not used to, especially with men, especially when they were a good deal larger than me in both height and stature.
His grip tightened around me as we spirled around the staircase. His hand caressed my hair ever so lightly, almost as if he was afraid to touch me. I instinctively pushed my face further into his shoulder. He felt so strong, like he could take on the world, taking me away from all that was on my mind. I felt so numb having gone over everything, it made it all so real. I exhaled heavily into him, negative thoughts swirling deeper into my mind.
We made it through that wonderful corridor, now dark and ominous. What had once been graced with beautiful scenery now gave way to the ominous possibility of lurking monsters wishing and plotting for my demise. I hid myself further into Jasper's arms as he reached for his bedroom door.
I felt better once he set me on the bed until he pulled away from me.
"Shall we see what's in the closet for night clothes?" He made contact with my face once more. His touch was tantalizing, but it left me frigid as he pulled away yet again. I couldn't help but force a small smile to show my appreciation for his closeness.
I brought myself to climbing out of the oversized bed as Jasper walked away from me. Dreading the separation, I rushed to his back, wrapping my index finger through the center beltloop. It all felt comforting, but so damned embarrassing.
Even with Jasper so close, the thoughts continued to rear into my busy mind. As his hand reached back to grab mine, I was brought back to my vision from before. I stiffened as I gained my sight back after the split second. We had since entered his closet, and the imagery lined up. The trunk from before. It was there… It was a different closet, but the same set up…the same goddamned trunk.
I couldn't take it. I yanked away from Jasper suddenly, reluctantly, instantly regretting my actions.
Jasper turned too fast for me to see, he bent down to face me head on.
"What is it Darlin'?"
I reached my arm out towards the object of my current affliction, a tremor shaking me terribly.
He looked between me and the object, "That's our memorabilia through the years." He offered confused.
I had seen as much in my vision. There had been clothes of different sorts within it. Pictures and documents. Drawings and jewelry…and the small shiny thing I had stowed away.
I couldn't hold back, I made my way urgently to the box, reaching to yank it from its resting place. It had looked so easy before, but I was now realizing that I possessed none of my former attributes.
Jasper appeared suddenly at my side startling me more than I would have liked to admit. "Allow me love, it's a bit hefty." He stated as he moved it to the floor for me.
As I had in the vision, I opened the offending trunk as if by muscle memory. I shoved everything to the side, paying it no mind. My intentions were solely on the silver thing. I eventually found the compartment and reached my hand in, fishing around until I felt the 'familiar' object. I froze, knowing I was about to expose yet another story I probably wasn't ready for. Did I really want to go there tonight? Did I want to ever?
I knew myself better than that. I am not a silly fearful girl, I internally chided! And I certainly cannot leave any questions or wonders unanswered. In the next instant I had yanked the thing from its resting place, holding it loosely in my palm. I was fearful of the thing. I had hidden it in such a hurry, rushing my way to her…It burned in my hand.
"Alice? Darlin', how'd you know that was in there?" Jasper gazed into me with the most intense look he has ever given me. Were those tears in his eyes? He lifted the thing from my hand relieving me of its weight.
I gathered my courage before starting my explanation. It was evident that this didn't hurt just me. I had seen the pain in the family's eyes as I had explained my story. This was hard for us all. "I…I saw myself hide it before I ran to meet Maria." I forced out of my throat weakly.
"I couldn't bring myself to look in here since you'd left. I had no idea where this had ended up." He issued almost not audibly. It was the first time I had ever heard his voice waiver.
He held the thing much differently than I had. He held it so delicately but like it was the most precious metal in the entire universe. It wasn't until that moment that I could really get a look at what the thing was.
It was rather pretty in his hands. It was simple yet outstandingly beautiful. I tilted my head as I got a closer look at the thing. It was a ring, but not something of this time. It was much older, in both construct and illusion. It wasn't something a bride of our generation would choose, which I felt drawn to. It was…perfect.
"It was your wedding ring Alice." I was rapidly pulled out of my concentration. Taken aback, I fell to my knees and dropped my head into my hands. It was all too much. Why had I given up this life? I had given up Jasper? Why hadn't I placed my trust into him.
"What happened to me Jasper?" I sobbed suddenly into Jasper's crook of his arm. I began to shake violently, tears and other fluids now running down my face again. I couldn't take any more. I didn't want to hurt him anymore. I didn't want any more suffering. I had caused enough, and that was obvious in Jasper's face every time he looked at me. The same look I could see in his eyes right now.
"I don't know Ali…We'll put it all together, but for now you just need to rest okay?"
His words induced a new wave of panic. I couldn't! I could never close my eyes again if it brought me back into another circumstance of pain. I wouldn't.
"I…I can't…Please don't make me Jasper! She'll come back…" I threw my head into the crook of his neck now. The coolness becoming a newfound comfort for my rising headache.
"Shhhh. No Darlin'…I won't let that happen. I'll be here to keep you safe, and I'll use my gift to make sure you sleep soundly….With your permission of course." He used such a gentle voice that I could feel vibrate low in his chest.
I could tell he was trying to diminish his 'terrifying demeanor' so as not to "frighten me". I found the spot on his neck that was free of scars and pressed my mouth against it before bringing my eyes to him.
"Please…Make it all go away." I whispered. I knew of his talents. I knew that he could make this panic and terror subside. I knew that he had done it before. I hated the idea of getting rid of my autonomy, but I felt as if I had no choice. I felt weak. Like I could do nothing more than simply exist. And even that I couldn't do properly apparently.
Jasper reached out to me, helping me up and around the closet to find something for me to wear instead of my now crumpled swing dress. I had yet to discard my shoes, a habit I would usually be quite proud of. I quickly unbuckled them now, placing them on a nearby shelf.
After I had finished straightening them, I turned around to see Jasper with a satin sleep outfit in a deep sapphire color.
"Why don't you get comfortable and then I can help you off to bed alright? I'll step out…"
I reached for him rapidly, "NO!" I yelled perhaps a bit too aggressively. "You can't leave me…Please." There was no chance I could survive a moment without him at this point, as entirely selfish as it was.
"I only want to give you your privacy love." He laughed nervously. I could see his eyes slightly glance me over.
"I don't need it…I just need you here with me Jasper." All modesty would be out the door, especially given our history it seemed a bit redundant.
Jasper ducked his head as he often has, making his way to the bed. His tall and lean frame stretched across the bed completely. The size that had seemed so silly before now seemed necessary. As he draped his long arms over his face, a slight smile found itself on my face.
I had kept my eyes on him, making sure he wouldn't go anywhere. I quickly changed so that I could sooner get back into his arms.
I buttoned the last stupid button on the top and ran my way over to him. I hesitated, thinking over the best way to join him without causing uncomfortability for him. I settled for laying myself on his chest. My form mostly fit on his chest alone. I had worried his hard body would be uncomfortable, but it wasn't. It felt so normal, being something I had seen myself do a million times in my flashbacks and visions.
Jasper's hand rested on the top of my head and slowly made its way down my back. Before it could come to rest at my lower back, I was unconscious.
Just as I could feel myself slipping into the dark, I sought to give him the comfort we surely both needed.
"I love you Jasper." And I was asleep before I could hear his reply.
I had first felt a warmth on the part of my leg that was exposed from the blanket. I then became acutely aware of a splendid coolness underneath me. I shimmied slightly, relishing in the contrasting feelings. I breathed in thoroughly, experiencing a wonderful woodsy scent. It was something so sharp but refined.
I had drempt of nothing, only refreshing darkness. No nightmares to be seen or heard from. I felt good, recharged…stronger.
I stretched, trying to rouse myself from such a deep slumber. It was almost as if I had been under some sleeping curse, the one only of fairy-tales.
"G'mornin' Darlin'. Did you rest soundly?" the voice, of what I could only assume was my prince charming, brought my consciousness almost to full fruition.
I raised myself gently onto my elbows to get a better look at him, at my savior. My eyes were starting to focus as I felt his hand brush against my head and rest on my cheek. It was an amazing feeling. I did in fact sleep soundly, and would be more than happy to continue doing so. But I was enjoying the presence of my prince too much for any of that nonsense.
I nodded in answer to him before propelling myself out of bed. I had to keep myself awake, there was too much to miss. I danced happily to the huge window wall across the room. Seeing beautiful shimmers of light reflect throughout.
It took a moment for my cognition to catch up before I realized their source. I wondered now what other marvels he hid.
"You're really beautiful you know that?" I tried to clear the grogginess from my voice, turning around a bit bashful. It was not a common occurrence for me to share a bed with anyone, and yet here I had done it with this man twice now.
Jasper lifted himself effortlessly in graceful and fluid motions, returning the bed to its once again perfect state at the same time.
He came to me then. His statuesque being towering over my small frame. He spun me around once again as he had done at the dance, requiring only trust on my part…no effort. Loving him seemed equally as easy.
His chin came to rest on the top of my head and I eased into him fully. As he kissed my head, I felt the warmth of it radiate through my body, resting in the pit of my stomach.
"I've never seen the town from this far up South Mountain. It's breathtaking. Perfectly acquainted with its…occupants." I giggled as I attempted to distract myself from my current train of thought. I felt Jasper stiffen for a moment, but he smoothed out the tension shortly thereafter. I would be fooling myself if I thought any of this could be easy for him. I couldn't even imagine, especially from what little he had mentioned about his past.
"The bathroom next door has the same view if you'd like to inspect Esme's exuberant bathroom choices." He had bent down to whisper into my ear, his strong, firm, and smooth lips brushing against me.
I twisted around as fast as I could, playfully faking irritation.
"Are you trying to get rid of me…or worse," I paused for an overly dramatic intake, "Are you trying to say I stink?"
"Not at all my Darlin'. I only assumed you could use a refresher…I know from conversations with Edward that 'human moments' were a necessary reminder for him with Bella." He laughed that wonderful bell laugh, thickened from his southern drawl. It seemed too he was effected by the early morning. I wondered then if he had slept at all.
I passed the thought around in my mind. He DID have a realllyyy good point. My skin felt stale, especially my face still caked with my makeup and tears from yesterday.
"Will there be bubbles?"
"I'm sure Ness has some around here somewhere." I was rewarded with yet another of his head drops accompanied by him looking up at me through his long bangs before he held his hand out to me.
I had affirmed the idea within myself. A bubble bath was WELL deserved and would serve as a perfect reset button.
Jasper lead me to the bathroom and before I could even turn around within the magnificent room, there were towels on the settee and Jasper was already filling the over-sized jet tub with water and bubbles.
He seemed to be playing with the faucet an awful lot and I was becoming impatient, I internally laughed.
"Temperature gauging is a fraction difficult in our condition."
"I believe I can manage. Thank you, my wonderfully southern gentleman." I stretched as high as I could so as to reach his cheek to show my appreciation, my body pressingly firmly along his long form.
In no time he had disappeared through the door and I was alone. I didn't mind it this time. It was rather comforting knowing I had such an amazing support system practically at a drop of a dime. Though I was absolutely positive that a vampire was faster than that.
I easily shed the soft satin from my body and slipped into the tub that was now the perfect warmth. I started the jets as I rested my chin on my arms on the ledge overlooking the forest. I heard a thump from downstairs and saw a flash of color streak into the trees.
It made a lot of sense that Jasper would need to hunt after using his gifts all night long. My thoughts drifted to him exclusively. I pondered what it was to be a vampire, what it was like to constantly deal with a painful temptation. He didn't like to talk about it at all. He seemed to hide that side to prevent me from knowing what he thought of himself more than anything else. He seemed to hide a lot about vampirism for that matter. I would have to confront another source for answers.
I smiled at Jasper's complexity and silliness. I looked around the bathroom some more before I noticed it. Jasper must have left it on the counter as he was figuring out the water. I reached out with my soapy hand and retrieved it. My ring.
I turned it over in my hands with more certainty now. I held it close to my chest before making the decision to put it on my left ring finger. It was a perfect fit. It brought tears to my eyes to feel so wanted.
I had been bounced from one foster home to another, each with their own promises of love and belonging only to be met with "I'm just glad we at least got a paycheck for you." It was different here. Not just with Jasper, but with the entire family. It really felt like I belonged. But maybe that was because they thought I was her…Was I?
I looked deeper into the ring pondering the question more. It certainly seemed like I was.