With the final word falling from my lips, I crashed into her roughly. I let myself experience every inch and movement within and without her body. I could feel the pulse of her veins against every fraction of a millimeter of my flesh. Each clap of the chambers of her heart echoed throughout her body and into mine. I let her warmth and existence spread into me, warming my cold dead heart.
Venom continued to pool in my mouth at greater speeds, I hadn't the slightest idea how it would affect her. Edward had had theories about Bella's previous exposure to his venom and her transformation, but those thoughts were at the furthest recesses of my mental grasp.
I could taste her most deeply now, even imagine the components of her body that she shared with this earth from her birth of stardust. The most prominent presence reminiscent of lilies of the valley. Sweet and powdery at the tip of her tongue. Both the warmth and coolness of the sweetest butter-mint played in combination with the lavender I found towards the back of her mouth. I ached to taste more of her, to explore each and every likeness she shared with this earth.
Her breaths came quicker now, I could only suspect that they were too rapid. I started the movement to release myself from her intoxicating potion, but my name falling like molasses on her swollen lips forbade me. In that moment, I had lost every ounce of wit about me. The monster that craved this innocent and pure soul within my arms emerged with his hideous growl into her mouth as he wrapped his devilish claws around her thighs, bringing himself closest to her most intimate secrets. I played into his motives, pushing myself into her rougher now, I envied his brashness.
Focusing now into the emotions swirling around us, the scent and feeling of her lust and arousal hung heavy in my mind, the very same as the taste within her mouth…accompanied by the most beautiful and intricate musk. The roar that escaped me now…I could no longer distinguish myself from the beast…this had to end, for her safety and my own damned sanity.
Her slender fingers wove their way through my hair, holding me close to her. I couldn't bare pulling from her every desire. I could feel every follicle of my being reacting to the pressure she presented to my locks. An addictive spark shot through me yet again. Before I could react, her hands dropped with urgency onto my shoulders.
I broke the demon's hold on me then, pulling back from her only from the waist up, leaving my lower half pinned against her partially in protection but I suspected mostly in selfish revels.
She breathed in heavy then, and I knew I had let things go too far. I chastised myself silently but could not help but be grateful for the proximity to her. I wouldn't ruin this, I couldn't bare to live without her any further no matter how sinister the urges were.
In par with my intentions, I ducked my head in the way I knew she liked before peaking up at her through my hair to issue, "My apologies Ma'am."
Her hips rotated slightly at this, and I suppressed yet another growl, my eyes slamming shut and a smile spreading widely on my face as I worked my best to hide this from her.
I felt her form shake again before burying her head into the crook of my neck. How much I yearned for her love bites of so long ago. It had taken a protracted amount of time for me to become accustomed to her closeness to my most protected areas from my time in the wars, but I quickly grew to crave her interactions there. The sole scar that marred the clean skin of my neck belonged only to her, exchanged on a night of blissfully aggressive and passionate love. We had been so absorbed in each other that the sting of the mark hadn't bothered me for days. Ever since then, it remained the most sensitive area of my body that only she had access to…only she could bring the incredible titillation to my soul through that spot. I hummed with the very thought of it as she delivered gentle kisses to it now.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you've finally given in, I knew it was just a matter of time." She broke me from my thoughts as she finished with an issuance of her tiresome nature.
I could not stifle the laugh that rose from me now. So clear and unusual for me. I took myself by surprise even but enjoyed the feeling.
"Yeah, yeah. Why don't we get you home before you become the third and fourth death of me tonight little one?" I offered only the slightest of insight to our inside jokes she was not yet privy to.
I felt a sudden rush of cold air as she pulled away from me ever so slightly, "I'm not ready to give any of this up just yet…Do you think Esme and Carlisle would be terribly disappointed if I spent the night in your bed again tonight?"
The familiar fire blazed behind my eyes as I fought off tears of both relief and joy, driving my eyebrows into my hairline with simultaneous shock. I tried as best as I could to hide the beast's excitement…or my own…honestly, what was the use in deciphering the differences now…
"I think it is quite safe to say that premarital tarries are by far the last thing that they would be upset about. Besides, I think at this point that perhaps my bed is the safest place for such an enticing and beguiling little thing like you." I reached out now to remove her hair from my precious view of her blushing face. The beauty of it marred by my devilish intentions and desires.
"Is it too much to ask to stay in this position? I think I enjoy it a little too much." I was grateful that she hid her face with embarrassment at that, for surly my own would have given too much of me away.
I hid the excitement in my voice, "I'd say that's a reasonable request, though Darlin' the wind might bring too much of a chill to your bones." I pulled the oversized sweater around her and in between us as much as I could to preserve her health.
"I think I can manage with my not so human little self." I pushed that reminder from my mind, the last thing I needed was to be convinced of her durability again…
I toyed with her then, giving free to what I knew was no use in suppressing. "Suit yourself, though I don't expect you'll find much heat in our bed tonight either, so I suppose it's inevitable."
I pulled her tighter to me both in fear of her falling and yet another selfish attempt at intimacy "Now you keep yourself right there now, ya' hear?" I drawled with the deepest of accents I could muster on command. Wrapping my arm around her waist and under her bottom took all I could to convince myself it was solely for her protection. He laughed at me for the childish sense of self-control.
We finally made it back to the house. I had been tied between my desire to have her to myself in the woods, and warm within our bed. I knew that no matter what my internal dilemma, we were never truly alone…not for longer than a moment. "Not that it's what I really want, but you might wanna' dismount Darlin'. Emmett isn't too far behind." I allowed myself a vulgar act that my mother both in life and death would have chastised me for, God rest her soul.
She distanced herself from me then, a smirk drawling on her delicate features. I cocked my head to the side in question, before she bent backwards in the most delicious of ways. I tried to reach for her, keeping her to me but the desire to see her move as she used to overpowered me. It reminded me of earlier times…when I didn't have to pretend or be gentle with her. When I could play-fight with her, not a fear in my mind of my harming her in the slightest. I sighed now with longing, but a smile of defeat remained plastered on my face.
"Hey now, why don't you save that shit for after you get to the bedroom you two. I need to take her to Carlisle bro if you don't mind."
Everything flooded back to me then, the fear and disappointment of my family. The damage I had caused to my beloved. Rosalie would have my head, rightfully so.
"Oh, stop with that pouting. It's hardly got anything on what happened to Bells during the honeymoon!" Emmett directed at the house. I couldn't tell if it was mostly directed to poke fun at our brother, or to disarm my sister.
He placed her gently on top of his shoulders before bucking her into the house like a wild unbroken stallion.
As much fear that broke through my mind at his roughness with her, I knew most certainly that he would never let any harm come to her, not like I had…
I sank now into my place on the ground, my head in my hands as I listened in to Carlisle's prognosis of her malady. I had known that it hadn't been hurting her too much from the way she used her hands to rake my body. Though, it made the reality of it all hurt no less.
Edward was at my side then, laying in the dirt and hands propped behind his head as he gazed up at the stars littered across the black northeastern sky.
"I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's alright and that she's fine because I know that that was exactly what I didn't want to hear…" He whispered matter-of-factly.
I huffed turning my head away from him and the house containing the only thing that mattered to me in this world…the one thing that I had harmed in certainly an unforgivable way.
"You are never going to get it out of your head, so there is certainly no use in focusing in on it now…it will only make you more likely to hurt her again, trying to control every aspect of her safety." He turned his head to me. "You just have to trust in yourself a little more Brother."
I huffed again as my eyebrows shot into the invisible crevices on my forehead.
"It's a little multi-personality of you to separate him from yourself, you know…certainly does not provide you with the control and understanding necessary to stop the behavior from becoming animalistic…"
"I know…" I growled now. He simply laughed.
"She is going to be okay Jasper, it is Alice we are speaking of…"
I turned my head to him, one eyebrow now raised higher than the other "I thought you said…" I spoke to him mentally before his interruption.
"I said I would not say that she was fine…Okay, well okay is a whole 'nother beast. You know, separate from the one you like to blame for every twitch of your member" he murmured as he nudged me.
I stood up then as he laughed deep within his belly.
"I do not recall you laughing so much just a few short decades ago Brother." I turned back to him while blinking at him incredulously all while throwing my hand up in his general direction before slamming it back at my side.
"Yeah, I suppose not. But perhaps that is where you can learn from me for once. Do not throw these moments with her away Jasper, you never know what is ahead and you do not want her one shot at human memories to be tainted with fear and revulsion…" He looked at me still from his place on the ground before returning his gaze to the sky. "Without the dark, we would never see the stars, Brother."
As I made my way to Carlisle's office hesitantly, I tested the emotions in the air. The ones tinged with Carlisle's signature were of relief and professionally curiosity. I knew that could mean only one thing, I shot to her not hesitating even a moment to open the door. Edward was in front of me then, I could tell he was offering a blockade for their safety, but was playing nonchalant for hers and Carlisle's benefit only. He made eye contact with me before moving to the side. "I'm not the only one." He mouthed to me. I nodded before rushing further to her.
As I entered the room, I threw Emmet a sheepish grin to show him I was of no trouble before making my way to her.
"Goddamnit I hate when I'm right." She groaned aloud.
Deep in the background I heard Edward's true laugh rumble from him, not a common occurrence either even after his reception of the new family we had all come to love and adore…even I, I suppose.
"Yeah, you are not the only one who is right all of the time. Comes with the territory of being privy to the secrets of the universe." I heard the thud then, but dismissed it as no threat to my Alice.
"Perhaps you would all like to step out," Carlisle retrieved the necessary supplies from his bag. I hesitated unnoticeably before reaching for Alice's hand. I decided that her comfort and safety was worth more to me than any inconvenience or burn of my own.
"Son?" I recognized the concern and hidden panic within his fatherly issuance. He held face for the others and seemed to control his thoughts admirable in Edward's presence, but I knew there was more to him, these days especially. With so much now to loose…Even the oldest and most experienced of souls was not immune to such a human response.
I put on my most convincing of faces and influencing the air surrounding my father's emotions in the slightest of favoring ways, "I'm fine, I promise it looks worse than it really is." I hid my eyes then, especially from her. I had gotten a glimpse of them while entering the home…I shivered with their persistent empty feeling. Burning and icy holes within my skull.
"I've seen it, he really is fine." She was confident. I looked into her eyes then, desiring greatly to bask in her positivity. To share in her confidence in me. To feel too so sure that everything would be just as Edward said, okay…