"I'm so jealous, Ushiwaka." Torou whines, pouring wine in his boyfriend's glass. Iwaizumi smiled softly, before agreeing with him.
"Yeah, seeing those crows do all those extra exercises must have felt good."
It's been three days since the bootcamp ended. Ushijima spent a few minutes explaining to the couple all about there game at day 3, which he ended up winning. Shiratorizawa was ready to give a great fight at Nationals, while Wakatoshi's schedule was still empty for almost two weeks before the preseason of Division 1. Sure, he had a few meetings here and there, but that didn't bother him at all.
"I think I'll call Takashi for some meet-ups." He mumbles, ignoring the funny banters Oikawa and his boyfriends kept throwing in the air. Karasuno this, Karasuno that… They still had it out for that school and Ushijima understood why. Those damn crows. Oikawa stopped laughing and looked up to the man in front of him.
"Uh… what? You know you could make him pay for those kinds of things, right? He's a high school student, Wakatoshi. You're on the National Team. Even then, isn't your schedule kinda full?" He asked, agitating the wine in his glass.
"Right. But I have plenty of time for that in the next 14 days. And he's got potential." Wakatoshi says, eyeing the glass of wine Torou almost spilled on the table. Hajime rolled his eyes, before putting his hand on Torou's glass.
"Will you cut that off?" He asks, almost smilling at how his boyfriend could act like such a child. Oikawa made a funny face, grimacing to the 2 men, before leaning back on his chair.
"Yeah yeah, he's got potential. But his coaches are there for his development process. I don't know if Leon would approve, to be honest. If I was his coach, I'd be kind of offended." Oikawa explained, leaving his wine alone.
"Well yeah, but that's because you're full of crap and want all the attention." Hajime frowned, before taking a sip of his own wine. Ushijima looked deep in thought, before standing up in a fast movement.
"I'll ask him tomorrow. Do you want any more pasta?" He asked, taking the plates on the table. The two men declined politely, before talking to themselves. Wakatoshi walked to the kitchen and left the empty plates in the sink. Later. His phone suddenly vibrated in his back pocket. When he looked at the name on the screen, he smiled gently.
-I got into a cooking class! :)
Tendo's text messages were full of life and emojis, which always managed to make the ace's heart melt right then and there.
-Another one?
-Ya! But this one is pastry and catering. I can't wait!
Ushijima chuckled, before turning around. Oikawa was leaning on the right wall, smirking.
"Who you texting? Please tell me it's not the teenager, you creep." He said, faking disgust. Iwaizumi's laugh could be heard loud and clear through the entire appartement. Oikawa's face lit up like the sun after hearing that laugh. Ushijima rolled his eyes, before hiding away his phone.
"You're an asshole, Oikawa." He robotically said but could not hide the small smile from his lips. A funny asshole. "Tendo's taking another cooking class."He explained, while bumping into the setter's shoulder, who could not stop smirking.
"Do you know when?" Hajime asked, looking at his own phone. His fingers were typing quickly on the screen. He looked totally focused, but still tried to lend an hear to his friend.
"No."
"Make him tell you when, then ask him for a one on one class after." He casually said. Torou nodded his head, looking impressed.
"So you do have game, Iwa-chan!" He softly said in his ear. Hajime's cheeks turned slightly red, before he smiled to his boyfriend.
"Shut up." They both laughed, while Ushijima contemplated the idea. It wasn't that he found the proposition bad or impossible, but rather complicated and unpredictable. He could totally try to impress Tendo or just simply flirt the entire time, but he still didn't know where Tendo's heart was at the moment and if he ever really had a chance. Tendo had yet to divorce or get back with his wife, so Wakatoshi didn't know if his window was still open. Might as well try.
"I'll ask him later. I have a few emails to go through tonight." He said, trying to convince himself he had more important things to do. He was conflicted. Something his heart could not handle for much longer. He knew he was stalling. He could ask him right now a tone of questions. He could ask him on a date right now, before it was too late again. But he didn't feel like it was a good decision to make.
"You do know texting takes like… a minute, right? Torou asked, joking around. Ushijima nodded seriously, but frowned.
"I just don't know how to ask without sounding desperate or like a possessive guy." He explained, hoping for some clues.
"So what if you're possessive? You want him to be yours. That's a compliment." Iwaizumi commented, gulping down the last drops of wine. Torou agreed, before letting the ace know it was getting late. Hajime had to go to work tomorrow and Oikawa simply wanted to watch some games on his comfy couch.
After a few minutes, the couple left, thanking the brown-haired man for the evening and the food. Wakatoshi took his time to clean everything up and do the dishes, before going to bed. With his phone in hand, Wakatoshi leaned back on his bed, feeling the day's events flow through his brain. His mind went quickly back to a certain man. A cooking class where? For how long? He really wanted to know. His heart started to race when he thought about sending him a message right then. He didn't have any excuses now that he was alone. He slowly unlocked the device, before going straight to Tendo's messages.
-You're leaving for how long?
He sent the text, clutching at his phone. Should I wait for an answer or turn it off? He wondered for a few seconds, before simply locking it and putting it down on his nightstand. I'll wake up with a text. He thought, closing his eyes, concentrating on his breathing and letting his body relax.
When he walked in the coffee shop, Ushijima shoved the door open, making it smash on the wall. He jumped at his own action, then cringed, feeling guilty and awkward. "Sorry." He whispered, looking at some people. They all looked confused or scared because of his abrupt entrance. All but one person, which was the man behind the counter, who almost laughed, but refrained himself with simply chuckling with his head down. Wakatoshi walked slowly to the counter, forgetting what he wanted to order and cursing under his breath. His eyes went from the muffins on display to the large black board behind the man.
"Take your time." He said, smiling to the ace, who gratefully nodded. Blueberry muffin and a coffee? He thought, before feeling his phone buzz. His bad mood came back rushing like a Formula 1 car on a straight line. Faster than his beating heart.
"Large coffee, black." He grumbled, looking down at his wallet. The employee's smile disappeared slowly, until a flat line formed on his lips. He wondered what made his favorite customer feel so angry and unfocused.
"No blueberry muffin today?" He asked tentatively, watching carefully how Ushijima would react. He felt almost disappointed when the tall man simply shook his head while giving the money. "Coming right up, then." He said, before taking the cash and finalizing the order. When he came back with the coffee in hand, Ushijima was reading a text on his phone, then frowned. Something was off with this guy. "Have a good day, man." The stranger said, making Ushijima lift his head and give a polite nod. When he turned around to leave, the stranger took a deep breath, before relaxing completely.
So much for my favorite time of the day.
Wakatoshi walked out, cup in hand, following the same path he always took to the library to buy his weekly Jump! magazine. That and overthinking lots of things Tendo-related. Most people see Ushijima Wakatoshi as the tall and serious ace, when really, he's simply overthinking and anxious about a certain red-haired guy. Crunched up eyebrows, flat lined smile and serious demeanor are his everyday features, just like Tendo's figure is always in the back of his mind. What should I say? What should I do? Is he friendly like that with everybody? Should I tell him this and that? When are we seeing each other next? Since high school, red hair, weird songs, unknown language and cheerful spirit. Those were the things Ushijima grew fond of. He was in an everlasting fight with himself because of those weaknesses. I should laugh with him. I should ask him how he makes his hair look like that. I should sing along, maybe? But no. He never did. He simply listened and watched has a serious and down to earth guy would.
The more he thought about it, the more his frown got worse. Stupidly serious. He thought, concentrating on his thoughts. His tunnel vision, on the other hand, got stupidly smaller, probably from all the frowning. Wakatoshi took a few more steps, before walking straight into a street sign, dropping his coffee on the ground. His head hit the metal post, before lunching backwards in surprise. When his sight stopped on the now emptied coffee on the ground, his breath caught up in his throat. After two or three seconds, he looked up around him to see if there was any witness.
A whole bunch.
"Isn't that Ushijima from the volleyball thing?" A girl asked to her friend, gasping loudly. An old woman walked closer to him, wondering if he was ok.
"Sorry." He said, signaling he was ok, before taking the empty cup and throwing in into the trash bin in front of a another store a few meters away. Wakatoshi doubled back to where he came from, walking shamefully until he reached the entrance of the coffee shop. His jacket was wet and dirty from the spilled coffee. His pride certainly took the worst jab, but he still raised his hand to open the door once again. When he pushed the door open, his mind went back to that awful first entrance from before. His fingers gently pushed the door, allowing the ace to carefully get in without disrupting the public peace once again. When the barista saw him walk in, his head tilted to the side and made an amused face.
"You again?" He asked, clearly enjoying this morning surprise. Ushijima smiled timidly, before answering.
"I spilled my coffee." He mumbled, taking a few napkins on the counter. "Can I use the restrooms?" He asked, getting a chuckle in return.
"Of course, we have a customers' bathroom. To your right." The barista explained, pointing to the door. When Ushijima nodded, his eyes dropped to the nametag on the stranger's shirt.
"Thank you… Kaito." He read out loud. When he turned to his side to leave, the barista smiled softly, before getting back to work.
It took a few minutes for Wakatoshi to clean up his jacket. He did not get the stain to completely leave, but it was definitely less visible. When he came out of there, Kaito smiled again and waved for him to come closer. The man gave him a coffee and a blueberry muffin, leaning against the counter.
"On the house. Accidents happen." He explained, proudly pushing the coffee closer to Ushijima's hand. The ace gratefully accepted, before hesitantly going for the muffin. "I figured karma made you drop the coffee because you didn't get your usual. So let's not repeat the same mistake twice." He added, enjoying his reasoning. Ushijima smiled, before closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, before opening them again, imagining a reset button being pushed. Let's start this day all over again.
"Thanks. I needed that." He said, now grabbing the gift and putting it in his bag. When he turned around, Kaito quickly leaned back, bringing a hand to his hair.
"Look, I don't know what's going on in your life, but if you want to talk about it to your local barista, feel free." He tried saying with confidence, but it came out more as a desperate plea than anything else. Ushijima smiled, before looking back at the man.
"I'm not a local. I take the bus to get here." He said, watching the man's expression go to a confused stare.
"Really?"
"I like it here. It's calm and peaceful. Thank you." Wakatoshi adds, before finally making his way out of the shop. Kaito was left alone with his childish grin and hopeful thoughts.
When Ushijima finally arrived at his destination, his smile had disappeared. He pulled the chair to sit in front of his friend, both clutching at their drinks a bit too nervously.
"Good morning, Tendo."
Flashback
Ushijima woke up to the sound of his alarm, like every other morning. He slowly got up, walked through his routine before leaving for the day. When he took his phone for a quick check up on his texts and emails, his eyes fell on a text from Tendo.
-Depends of my wife. She might want to stay there a few days more than the class actually lasts. We'll see.
Wakatoshi frowned deeply, before texting back.
-I don't understand. You're not divorcing?
His head was fuming with anger and confusion. Not the kind of morning he wanted to have.
-Maybe we should talk about it. You free now?
He sighed, sitting down at his kitchen fourniture. He leaned on his crossed arms on the table, closing his eyes for a few seconds. How and why? When he raised his head up, his eyes focused on the clock on the wall. 7:30am. He had already eaten but maybe he could get some coffee in his system before going to the library.
-Ok. To the library? I need to buy some things.
-Alright. See you then.
Ushijima didn't smile. His heart cracked, while his mind went to some dark places a bit too quickly. This is such a bad morning.
When Ushijima finally arrived at his destination, his smile had disappeared. He pulled the chair to sit in front of his friend, both clutching at their drinks a bit too nervously.
"Good morning, Tendo"
His voice sounded low and calm, like always. He sat down, putting his bag on the ground beside him. Satori kept his eyes on his tea, while his fingers drummed on the lid of his cup.
"Good morning." He spoke with care and so much expectation in his tone. He really wanted Wakatoshi to tell him off. How can he be so mean? Giving him false hope and going back to his friend's worst nightmare. He felt awful for asking to talk. Do I really need to do this? He asked himself. Of course, he thought he needed to do it. Adults talk things through.
"So, when do you leave, again?" Wakatoshi asked, looking around their table. Nobody would go to a library this early. Even the woman at the front desk kind of looked at him funny.
"Friday. So in 4 days. It's a two weeks class, but the certificate doesn't need to be updated. So I'll be set for life in that department." He said, smelling the tea after opening the large cup.
"Right. And she's back?" Ushijima cut right to the chase, taking Tendo by surprise.
"Y-yes. We talked. We feel like we can get through whatever this was and get stronger as a couple." He explained, making Ushijima's hopes and future plan burst into flames.
"Whatever this was?" He asked with hurt in his tone. "You think my presence and feelings are worth that little?" He adds, his eyes burning with humiliation and anger. "Did she convince you to get back with her? Did she even consider our friendship?" He asked, taking his bag with one hand and firmly grasping his coffee cup in the other.
"Stop it. It wasn't her." Satori said, emotions spilling out of his eyes. "Sorry, I expressed myself wrong. I meant it was a bad idea on my part. Getting close to you during bootcamp and texting. It was selfish and stupid. I can't let you fall for me again. I'm married. I'm faithful. I can't let my feelings make me a bad person." He said, wiping a tear. When Ushijima stood up, Satori followed quickly, urging the man to stay and talk.
They argued, the atmosphere never getting better. Wakatoshi kept his calm and collected composure, until Satori shook his head in defeat.
"I can't leave her, Wakatoshi. I'm going back to her." He was scared. Satori wasn't an idiot. He wasn't a mean person and he definitely had respect for Ushijima. What he didn't have was self-confidence, resort and time. "I'm sorry. I'll go with her and you and I can stay friends." He said going back to his original plan. Ushijima didn't agree to this. He felt like once again, life threw him a life jacket, only to find out it was full of holes, leaving him no other choice but to drown.
"Please, Satori." He whispered, grabbing the man's wrist. They locked eyes for a second or two. Time in itself felt heavy and full of despair. "Don't." His expression still looked serious and monotone, while his heart was racing. Satori offered a small smile, before shaking his head. He felt like he hated that word, lately.
"I'm sorry." He said, before walking away. His tea now less then hot, while his heart felt less then happy or satisfied with their conversation.
Satori drove back to his place, to find his wife sleeping in his bed. He smiled softly before shedding a few tears. Did I choose wrong? Is this the right path? He wanted answers and comfort. He wanted to talk some more, but he knew the one person he needed to talk to was more than done with him for the day. Maybe for always.
Ushijima stayed at the table for a few minutes, wondering why he even agreed to have this talk. He felt tired and useless. He felt like he never should've tried to get him at all. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Why did he even come up with a plan? Why did he even listen to that damn Oikawa?
He drank his coffee in silence, questioning his motives, actions and emotions. Was it at all worth it? It would've been if the ending was different, right? You get what you deserve.
After buying his magazine, Ushijima walked out of there feeling like a loser. His shoulders were slouched like a kid with bad posture. His eyes were staring at the ground in front of him. Both of his hands were hidden in his pockets and his dirty jacket was unzipped. After seeing a third person with an umbrella, he finally felt rain on his nose. After a few minutes, it was heavy pouring, thunder rumbling in the sky. Wakatoshi never even thought about walking faster. He had no chance of getting anywhere dry, so he quickly gave up the battle against mother nature. When he arrived at his last destination, he got inside, drenched from head to toe. His shoes made a squishy sound with every step he would take. When he passed some of his teammates, he got weird looks but mostly welcoming smiles and weather jokes. He found the locker room pretty quickly and changed into his team issued clothes, before walking into the conference room.
"Ushijima-san, you're late." Hoshiumi Korai glared at the man.
"Right." He said, taking a seat next to Kageyama, who minded his own business, drinking from a glass of water.
"Ok, everyone is here. I hope you all had a great time off. If you don't mind, we'll jump straight to business. We will now present to you the new members of your staff team for the upcoming season." The head coach explained. He gave way to the owner of the Alders, who took a few minutes explaining the changes he made to the organisation during the off-season. They had a new social media manager, a new marketing team and a new assistant coach, who specialized in defense. "Don't worry about gameplays and overall strategies. That's our job. For now, all we ask of you is to get back in shape and study what's on the board." The head-coach added after the president of the team spoke, finalizing the reunion. "Welcome back to the Schweiden Adlers, everybody." He concluded, putting down his glass of water and leaving the room. Everybody started to talk and exchange personal news when Korai turned in his rolling chair, facing Wakatoshi.
"You shouldn't be late." He said, asserting his confident and strong vibe onto the ace, who simply nodded.
"Right." He answered, before getting up. Korai frowned, following Ushijima with his eyes. The taller man walked out of there, making his way to the video room. He knew what he had to do to prepare for the season. But today wasn't the day he'd be fully willing to start.
He opened the door, greeting the technician in there. "Can I have a copy of the last tournament's footage? I'll watch it at home." He said, getting a cordial yes from the employee. After getting the USB key, he walked back to the locker room, getting his things. Can't go home in those wet clothes. He thought, before putting everything in his bag. He stayed in his Adlers clothes, while eating his muffin at the bus stop.
"Can I get a picture, please?" He heard a small boy ask shyly. He smiled at him and took a pose next to him, while his mother took the picture. "Thanks! Have a great season!" The boy happily said, before running to his mom and jumping up and down a few times. An old man looked at Ushijima, not really knowing what went on.
"You're a celebrity?" He asked, making Wakatoshi feel a bit uncomfortable.
"I guess. Sorry for the disturbance." He answered, bowing down on his seat. The old man went back to his occupations, not giving a damn about Ushijima's status or apology. It was that kind of day anyway for the ace. The rain still poured a bit while they were waiting for the bus, but they were safe under the small bus shelter. His phone now displayed 11am and zero notifications. Time to eat, then hit the gym. He said to himself, not sure if he even had the motivation for that. A shitty morning and a shitty weather might do that to you. He felt like if he went to the gym, he'd break a leg or die under the weight of his sadness (and the overpowered machines).
He didn't die.
His day went on slowly, though. His lunch time was boring. The walk to the gym was under the rain again, but this time, Ushijima had an umbrella he picked up from home. Gym was tiring and demanding, but at least that made him feel good about himself afterwards. When he got home, he started to think about Tendo and how he could maybe try to see him one last time before he left.
Nope. He stopped himself from doing that. He couldn't fall in that pattern again. Maybe it was time for him to move on. Find someone kind and funny. Someone with great hair and a great smile. Someone single. His thoughts went back to the barista. He didn't feel ready to give up on Satori, but maybe he could try to talk to someone else than the very guy he's decided to get over. Someone new he didn't meet through volleyball or school. Someone with who he could discover new things and make new memories. Like that time he and Satori saw a new band in a bar in Tokyo. Satori had won tickets and he- What am I doing? Ushijima slapped himself on the cheek, not too harshly. Stop thinking about him, at least for today. He's definitely not thinking about you.
His phone now read 7pm. Coffee on the table and weekly Jump! in hands, Ushijima received a notification on his device.
A friend request? When he saw then name, he accepted, feeling as though the gods were maybe listening to him. Get someone new. He leaned back on his chair, unsure and still a bit lost in his thoughts. He wondered what the first step would be to stop Satori from breaking his heart over and over. Maybe that was it? He opened the Direct Message page, before typing slowly.
-Hey. Up for that talk?