Chapter 17- Confessions and Trust

The glowrod gave off a purple hue as Oliver, Felicity, and Anna made their way down the shaft. Anna and Felicity both gave off screams as the cord they were on with Oliver gave way slightly. "That's okay. Just hang...Hang on tight. Not that tight. Not that tight," Oliver grunted as Felicity wrapped her arms spasmodically around his neck. "That's okay. Almost there," Oliver said as they touched the floor with their feet.

"Okay," Felicity said with a whimper.

"Okay. I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you," Oliver grunted.

"Okay. We're here," Felicity said as Oliver carried Felicity and set Anna down.

"Yeah, I know," Oliver said.

Thanks. OK," Felicity said as Oliver put her down on the ground that looked like a power generator.

"Are you OK? Hey!" Anna exclaimed, tapping Oliver's shoulder lightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, kid," Oliver said, looking as if Anna had startled him awake.

"We made it, we made it. We made it," Felicity said as Oliver got sluggishly to his feet.

"Yep. Please," Oliver said, holding his hand out to Anna for the glowrod she was holding. Oliver went to look at what looked like a door. He sighed heavily. "It's another dead end," Oliver said turning back to them.

"OK. Please stop using that term. We bought ourselves some time away from the gas at least. Hey, Oliver," Felicity said as Oliver dropped the glowrod and went to the place they dropped down.

"Oliver! Oliver!" Anna shouted as Oliver dropped to the ground in a faint. Anna went to him and touched her hand to his forehead, which felt cool and clammy. It couldn't be a good sign.

"Oliver! Oliver! Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey," Felicity said as she crawled across the floor to Oliver and Anna and lightly smacked his cheeks before cupping his face. "You gotta stay awake, OK?" Felicity asked as Oliver came to.

"I think I am losing a lot of blood," Oliver said rather sluggishly.

"Tell us something we don't know, but Felicity is right, Oliver. We can't carry you if you pass out," Anna said, pushing a lock of her dark hair out of her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Felicity, Ann," Oliver said, his voice getting weaker.

"Normally, I would relish an Oliver Queen apology, but this sudden admission is making me nervous," Felicity said.

"Me too. What are you apologizing for, Ollie?" Anna asked.

"You and Ann were right. I didn't have your back, but it wasn't because I didn't want you to end up like me, Felicity, Anna. It was much more than that," Oliver said.

"OK. Lots of blood loss with exposure to toxic gas makes you go crazy. Now we know that," Felicity said clinically.

"I need you both to hear this," Oliver said.

"We will later, right?" Felicity asked.

"I might not have a later," Oliver said, his voice slightly raspy.

"Do not talk like that," Felicity said, her voice breaking slightly.

"I need you both to know the truth," Oliver said.

"About what, Ollie?" Anna asked.

"I didn't have your back, kid. It was not because of you or lack of trust. It was because of me. It was because of me. I'm not the man you think I am. I'm not the man you fell in love with, Felicity or the man who took in a kid off the street after her parents and brother were murdered. I put the hood on to right my father's wrongs, but the basis of it, the...the foundation of it and what you did and what Dig did and what the team did in my name, it was all based on a lie," Oliver said.

"What are you talking about?" Felicity asked in a whisper.

"Chase...he showed me when he held me hostage that I didn't do what I did to be a hero. I did what I did, because there was a part of me, a bigger part than I would like to admit, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed killing. It's not about trusting either of you. I will always trust you. I don't trust myself," Oliver said, his voice making him sound like a vulnerable boy.

"Oliver, Oliver, don't. Oliver, Oliver," Felicity said as Oliver blacked out. She started to strike his cheeks again. "Hey! Hey! Oliver, come back! Come back! Oliver! Come back," Felicity said, resting her head on his chest as she started to cry.

"I know I should be mad that you stole my tech, but the modification designs that you guys put on here are ridonculous," Curtis said with a touch of awe in his voice as he typed furiously.

Is that an actual word? Dig thought as Lyla looked over a file.

"Hey. How about less geeking out and more figuring out how to use that thing to figure out how to get to Felicity, Oliver, and Anna?" Rene asked what everyone was thinking.

"They ran out of time ten minutes ago," Dinah said as Lyla closed the file and walked past Dig, handing the file to him as she passed him.

"What is this?" Diggle asked, looking at the file briefly as he went to have a private conversation with his wife.

"It's an audit of every black op I've signed off on as director of A.R.G.U.S.," Lyla said, a look of remorse in her eyes.

"Why are you giving me this?" Diggle asked.

"I don't want there to be any more secrets between us, John, but there is one thing I need to know from you," Lyla said.

"Name it," Diggle said.

"No matter what Oliver Queen does, no matter how morally compromising, you stand behind him," Lyla said.

"Lyla," Diggle said, walking away to pace.

"No matter what. Why can't you do that for me?" Lyla asked.

"Lyla, I guess I never really thought of it like that," Diggle said.

"Well, maybe you should start. Because I'm not Oliver or Anna James, Johnnie. I'm your wife, and even though I disagreed with many of your choices, I trusted those choices. I trusted you. I think I deserve the same consideration," Lyla said.

"I figured it out!" Curtis shouted, jumping up from his computer before Diggle could answer. "Oh. Sorry. Were you guys in the middle of something? It looks like you guys were in the middle of something. But I did figure it out, so let's chop, chop, chop" Curtis said, looking contrite as he clapped his hands to get Diggle and Lyla back to work.

"It's okay, Curtis. We're fine. Let's go get Oliver, Felicity, and Anna out of there," Diggle said with fierce determination.