I just have to say that I am so disappointed with how the season ended. On some level, I saw it coming (in an interview preseason one of the actors had mentioned that Elizabeth basically chooses about half-way through the season, and she was with Lucas then). But I am appalled by the writers and the producers claiming this was a love triangle and dangling the hope of Elizabeth and Nathan in front of us for so long. I don't like how Elizabeth acted, and I waited until the last episode to see if she could redeem herself. She didn't. Elizabeth has always been the draw for me for this show. I'm not invested enough in the other characters to care about season 9. I will continue to write both of my stories, just know that the end of season 7 is where my plots really differ.
Chapter 11
A Kiss
Elizabeth had struggled, and was still struggling, with how to go about their relationship when he didn't remember her at all. She was concerned with how close to allow them to get. They had bantered back and forth about reading and Allie several times, but that was still within the realm of being Allie's teacher. As much as it hurt her to keep her distance, she felt that it would be better in the long run, once he had his memories back, to keep the boundary he had established before leaving.
Still being warm enough to have an early morning ride, Elizabeth and Sergeant would often take a good ride in order to help her think. Oftentimes, Elizabeth barely needed to direct Sergeant, he would know where and when she needed to go. These rides were often solitary during every aspect of it. But this particular morning she was startled by Nathan in a stall with Newton when she returned from a particularly robust ride.
"Hey buddy," Nathan said softly as he went about brushing Newton and stroking his horses' long nose.
Elizabeth couldn't help the smile at seeing Newton and Nathan together. Newton had been ridden between Bill, Gabe, and Allie. But since Nathan still wasn't cleared for horse riding, it wasn't something he could take a pleasure in.
Sergeant and Newton made noises of greeting at each other, which let Nathan know of Elizabeth's presence.
"Good morning, Mrs. Thornton," Nathan waved in greeting.
Elizabeth smiled and dismounted.
"Constable," Elizabeth answered politely as she led Sergeant to his stall.
"Why do you call me that?" Nathan asked in curiosity.
"It's your title," Elizabeth reminded him.
Nathan rolled his eyes in a similar manner that Allie would have with that response.
"I know that on some level. But you're the only person I speak to almost everyday that still just calls me 'constable.' Everyone else in my life here all switched to 'Nathan' within a few days," Nathan observed.
Elizabeth took a long breath and stroked Sergeant.
"We were friends for a little while. But I did some things that hurt you and hurt Allie. Before you left, you had asked to just keep our relationship professional. I'm still respecting that," Elizabeth said.
Nathan looked at her with true surprise.
"Is that why my parents are here?" Nathan whispered.
"We weren't exactly speaking when they came, so I can't answer that for certain," Elizabeth said.
Nathan nodded in understanding.
The both went about continuing brushing their animals.
"Enjoy the rest of your morning, Mrs. Thornton," Nathan said kindly as he left the livery and went back to his row house.
Elizabeth smiled in response and watched his retreating back.
'This may be the worst kind of pain so far,' Elizabeth thought as she continued brushing Sergeant. To be able to learn about his character without his walls up. He had made himself ever more so attractive. And while the doctors were worried about his memories ever returning (she learned from Allie during a school conversation), Elizabeth couldn't necessarily put any weight that they wouldn't return.
How long was a good wait time? Because if she tried to better herself in his eyes before his memories came back, and then they did...she wouldn't know how to explain it.
As the days turned into weeks, and fall set into the town, the more and more the people were all growing with concern about Constable Kinslow's continued presence in the town. He hadn't even tried to go back to Brookfield, and his temporary replacement was getting annoyed with the slowness of Brookfield.
"Not that any of us are complaining, but why are you still here? It seems like you could have left and gone back home ages ago?" Lee Coulter asked during the weekly poker game.
Gabe just smiled and then trounced everyone in the game. He suspected that Bill was the only one who could come to understand why he was still in Hope Valley. Because they were right, headquarters had even suggested it a few times. But Gabe couldn't leave yet.
It was a brisk fall morning when Nathan's memories finally returned.
He was walking across to the infirmary for his daily check-in (they still insisted!), when a couple passing through was driving by. Their car backfired and all Nathan heard was a gunshot.
Jenny, LOOK OUT!
Pop! Pop!
"Nate...take care of my girl...baking soda for the blood stains. I love you!"
"I love you, Elizabeth!"
"Dad! Don't make promises you can't keep!"
"Ma? Why are you crying?"
"This is Allison Mayes Parks!" "Hi, Allie!"
"Unca' Nat'an!"
"Where's Mama, Uncle?" "She's an angel now…"
Elizabeth riding off at a gallop.
"Actually, it's Constable, Mrs. Thornton!"
Nathan's memories came back to him in a rush of pain and horror mid-step onto the infirmary boardwalk. Gabe and Bill rushed so that they were standing next to him holding onto him, as his brain was struggling to process the lifetimes of memories that were barraging him in one moment.
"Breathe through it, Nathan," Bill whispered into his ear.
Nathan tried, but the pain in his head and heart were both excruciating. He screamed out to release his pain, just once, but it was loud and got how badly he was hurting across. He then dropped to a knee between Bill's and Gabe's arms and began to sob.
Once he looked up and Bill and Gabe both saw recognition of his surroundings, they propped him and ushered him inside the infirmary. The team made sure all the doors and windows were closed and shuttered. It was several hours later that Faith and Carson addressed the crowd waiting for news.
"From what we can tell, Nathan has all of the memories he's supposed to have," Faith started.
"But you need to be patient with him. It's confusing to have to reprocess old trauma's as if they are brand new. Give him space," Carson added.
The town all nodded and gave each Grant a sympathetic smile or hug.
Allie, Ruth, and Archie all went inside the infirmary. Gabe and Bill were both sitting in a waiting chair.
"They gave Nathan something to help him sleep. He's been asleep for about five minutes," Gabe said as he stood to allow Ruth his chair.
"How is he?" Archie asked.
"Hurting, like we knew he would be," Bill stood to open up his chair for Allie.
They all nodded in agreement.
"When are you going to Brookfield?" Ruth asked Gabe.
"That actually depends on what Nathan remembers of his mission. There are some holes in the official story," Gabe said. "We're hoping Nathan can give us a lead. Then I go investigate that, and then go home."
"You didn't have to stay," Ruth said with thanks.
"Neither did you," Gabe pointed out.
Ruth just gave him a look, which Gabe returned.
"They're my people too," Gabe said.
Ruth smiled.
When Nathan finally was okay with seeing his family, he looked like he had been hit by a car. Despite being told multiple times by both doctors to use a journal, Nathan hadn't even picked up the one they had purchased for this treatment. Bill was the one who took it from them and shoved it into a bag. They helped get the Grants settled and Nathan back into his rowhouse. Bill and Gabe were both in Nathan's room giving him lecturing looks.
Nathan just gave one back.
"Nathan, if you don't want to write things down, then there are two of us here who've known you and have experienced similar tragedies. We're here if you need us," Bill said firmly.
"He's right. You're not alone," Gabe said before they left.
Nathan had laid down against his mattress to rest.
"Let us know if we have to come knock some sense into him," Bill said.
"Judge Avery, you know Dad," Allie said.
"I'm going to be here a lot," Bill said with a sigh and concern.
The Grants nodded.
Nathan's dreams were filled with his memories, both good and bad. But he was also having a difficult time with trying to figure out what was real and what was just made up. On the first day with his memories back, he woke up to Archie and Allie setting the breakfast table and chatting as quietly as they could. Nathan gave a surprised look when Ruth gave a kiss to each of their cheeks. He looked at everyone with some suspicion and a lot of astonishment when he sat down.
"How are you feeling?" Allie asked when Nathan joined them.
"My head hurts quite a lot," Nathan admitted.
Archie planned to take Allie to school and pick her up until Nathan felt well enough to do it on his own. Most of the first day was spent in his bed trying to sleep off his headache.
Nathan spent the next few days around his house to come to terms with what he had forgotten. He was hurting and confused and not sure how to feel about everything that had happened, and what exactly had happened while he was away. He had gotten the feeling that they people were doing their best to help, but he couldn't make sense of how Allie got back.
"Ma, why did you come back?" Nathan asked one day when Allie was at school and Archie was at work.
"We were worried about you. And we knew that the office in Calgary wasn't going to take our concerns seriously. Archie and I debated a long time about who would take us seriously. And it always came down to Bill and Gabe. We also felt that Allie would need to be around the friends she was close with. And that is Emily and Opal," Ruth said kindly.
"How were things with Mrs. Thornton?" Nathan asked.
"It took some time for Allie to be okay with her again. But she also wasn't around the town with Mr. Bouchard, either. I think she endeared herself in Allie's eyes when Allie discovered that Mrs. Thornton had made a cross for Colleen," Ruth admitted.
"She did what?" Nathan asked in surprise.
"Made a cross for Colleen. We didn't discover it until we came back," Ruth said.
"Did she say why?" Nathan asked.
"She didn't give a very detailed explanation, but I got the feeling she was trying to apologize to your sister," Ruth said.
Nathan looked at her in shock.
"Actually, since you have your memories back, you should go out there," Ruth said.
Nathan agreed, then took the long walk to the cemetery. He found Jack Thornton's headstone easily enough...Elizabeth and Little Jack were there often enough. Nathan took a moment to pause and say his prayer to the man. Then he walked to where the handmade cross was still half fallen over.
Nathan walked to it and pushed it up.
It read Colleen Parks still...and that was the only thing on it
Nathan laughed at the obvious fading in Parks and the grass stain.
"Sorry, Colleen. I didn't tell anyone that you divorced Dylan. Seemed unnecessary," Nathan said as he pushed it upright. Nathan looked at the cross.
"I'll make you one with all of the correct information," Nathan promised.
There was a slight breeze that fell gently over him. He felt Colleen's presence.
"You do realize, though, that if I make one and place it here, that means we're staying? I'm not doing this in every posting," Nathan said.
Colleen gave him a light smack on his head, right where he had been injured.
"Noted," Nathan said with a smile.
Nathan walked back into town with more peace than he had before he had gone to the cemetery. He hadn't realized how important a place to connect with Colleen had been for him and Allie. But it had helped him calm down and process what he had been through with her.
He stopped to look around the town he had grown to love. His best friend filling in for him on an extended leave far longer than was required or necessary.
"Gabe," Nathan said as he approached the Mountie.
"Nathan," Gabe replied. "I take it Ruth told you about the cemetery?"
Nathan nodded.
"Colleen is also now angry with you," Gabe said.
"I know," Nathan rubbed the back of his head where she had smacked him.
Gabe smirked.
"How can I help you?" Gabe asked knowing his friend wasn't there for a social visit.
"Well, first of all, I need to thank you for sticking around," Nathan said first.
"We're there for each other-it's our thing," Gabe said seriously.
Nathan smiled in gratitude.
"What else?" Gabe asked.
"I need to give you my official recount of what happened. It's not good," Nathan said with apprehension.
Gabe nodded in understanding and gestured him to the inside of the Mountie Office. He then rang Bill and asked him to come over.
Once all three were present and behind closed and locked doors. Nathan gave his report of what happened to him. It validated everything they had discovered from the gang leader, but no judge would take the word of a criminal over a Mountie.
"I remember seeing Constable Croaker before he was a Mountie, though," Nathan added.
"When?"
"Where?"
Nathan hesitated.
"At Fort Clay, when I was being reprimanded by Hargraves for disobeying orders," Nathan said.
"Why would he have been there? Fort Clay is family only…" Bill said as he trailed off.
"Hargraves was recently married. The kid is his step-son," Nathan said.
Both men were processing this statement.
"If that's true, it would explain why Hargraves was being a jerk. He was trying to look good to the kid," Gabe said.
"It also fits in with the statement that the kid made about his father having influence," Bill added.
"It should be fairly easy and simple to confirm all of this, but what are we doing with it when we get confirmation?" Gabe asked.
"The kid can't be a Mountie. He left a fellow Mountie alone in the wilderness. Nathan, you coming forward will be the biggest set back for them. Are you willing to do that?" Bill asked.
Nathan just nodded.
Gabe and Bill both started working on their connections, and because Nathan wasn't on duty, they ushered him away from their demanding work and to leave them alone. Nathan stood outside on the street to watch the street for a bit. If he hadn't been in his civilian clothes, the townspeople would have thought he was standing and watching the town like he always had. Many of the people were smiling and waving in greeting, but everyone had kept their distance. Nathan walked slowly back home to pass the time before Allie was done with school.
When he got home, his mother was tired and napping on their sofa. Nathan quietly went upstairs to read, but forgot to grab a book. So he was going through the things that Gabe had left for him in his room, which is how he discovered Elizabeth's letters to Colleen and where Gabe and found them.
'Dear Colleen,
My name is Elizabeth Thatcher Thornton, and I'm the woman who broke your brother's heart. When I had been encouraging him to pursue whatever this is between us, I had thought that I had gotten over my fears of loving someone brave enough to be a Mountie. But then I almost lost Nathan, and it froze my insides. I didn't think I could handle being that brave again.
Nathan is everything special, and wonderful, and a great man, which is why I saw myself falling easily in love with him and that scared me. So, I broke away, trying to put distance between us. I thought being just friends would be enough. But I didn't go about discussing my perspective well with him or Allie, and I hurt them both terribly in the process.
So, for that, I'm terribly sorry for hurting them!
Elizabeth Thornton'
Nathan had several more of Elizabeth's letters to Colleen, but he only needed the first one. His heart was beating a tap dance in his chest. He barely dared to hope. Nathan went downstairs when he heard his mother moving about.
"Ma, I need your honest opinion," Nathan said.
Ruth just gave him a curious look.
"Has Mrs. Thornton changed your opinion of her?" Nathan asked.
Ruth looked surprised by the question.
"While I'm not entirely trusting of her with you yet, she has improved in her behavior and my opinion and respect went up a few notches. I'm not exactly happy to potentially have her as a daughter...yet," Ruth admitted.
Nathan just smiled, before putting on his coat to go pick up Allie. He waited a few feet away from the school steps, like he usually did. Allie was one of the first down the steps.
"Dad!" she said happily as she gave him a long hug.
"Hi, Allie," Nathan hugged her back. He could feel her worry.
"How are you?" Allie asked looking eagerly into his eyes.
"Okay. Not 100%, but better," Nathan always tried to be honest with her.
"Okay, but you were never 100%," Allie pointed out in annoyance.
Nathan laughed at her.
"That's true. 60%," Nathan said.
"That's almost a good day," Allie said.
Nathan just shook his head in exasperation.
"Can we stop by the library? I need to get a book to read for a report," Allie said.
Nathan nodded in agreement, and they walked into town side-by-side.
Elizabeth watched them both walk back into town. She missed their banter.
"He just needs time," Cat said.
Elizabeth nodded.
"We all think you did the right thing in keeping his wishes from before he left, when he got back," Cat added.
Elizabeth smiled gratefully.
"Once he can process everything, he'll respect that too," Cat ended.
Elizabeth walked home needing a good cuddle with Jack.
Allie walked straight into the library and began looking over the shelves. She found two that sounded interesting. Nathan was watching her decide, when his attention was caught up again by the empty space on the wall. Except this time he knew why it hurt him. That was where the plaque he had made had hung.
Nathan's heart clenched a bit when he realized that if Elizabeth had taken it down, then she must have moved on. Although, she hadn't been seen around the town with Lucas since he had gotten back, and no one had said anything within hearing range of Nathan about their relationship.
'Stop it, Nathan, the back and forth will drive you crazy...again...don't go there with her,' Nathan reprimanded himself.
"I'm ready," Allie smiled happily.
Nathan smiled and escorted her back to their row house.
He enjoyed being with his family, and had to admit that some good had come of this, his parents were getting along great.
Later that night, after his parents and Allie went to bed, Nathan was feeling restless and had decided to go on a walk to clear his head. He walked the path to the dock. Nathan barely made it to the edge of the forest, when he noticed Jack walking by himself and looking lost.
Nathan took a look around, but Elizabeth wasn't around.
"Hello, Jack," Nathan said as he bent over. "Do you remember me?"
Jack nodded.
"Nate," he said.
Nathan shook his head realizing that Colleen had something to do with this.
"Yup, can I walk you home?" Nathan asked.
Jack nodded. Nathan picked him up and put him on his shoulders.
They walked back to the row houses in companionable silence. Nathan could hear the frantic voices of Elizabeth and Rosemary. Nathan put Jack in one arm while he knocked on her door with the other. Rosemary answered the door.
"Oh, Nathan, now is not the time," Rosemary said with fright.
"I'm just returning Jack," Nathan said simply.
Nathan watched as Rosemary processed that statement.
"YOU have Jack!" Rosemary said in surprise.
Nathan lifted Jack.
"JACK!" Rosemary took him and began to squeeze and kiss him.
Then he was passed to Elizabeth's arms.
"Where did you find him?" Elizabeth said with relief.
"Nathan found him," Rosemary said.
Elizabeth looked surprised and then past Rosemary.
"Oh, please come in, Nathan," Elizabeth said.
Nathan looked at her in surprise. Elizabeth blushed, but didn't correct herself.
"I'll leave you two to talk," Rosemary excused herself.
"Where did you find him?" Elizabeth asked.
"By the forest line for the docks," Nathan answered.
Elizabeth looked at him in relief and thanks. Nathan looked around as Elizabeth was checking over Jack, but he was completely fine
Nathan's eyes fell on the plaque. She had moved it above her writing desk.
Elizabeth noticed where his focus was and blushed.
"I thought you had gotten rid of it," Nathan said.
Elizabeth shook her head.
"No, just moved it to a better location," Elizabeth said.
Nathan wasn't sure how to interpret her comment.
"May we talk?" Elizabeth looked up at him.
Nathan nodded and sat down.
"First, I need to apologize to you for how ill I've treated everyone. I'm sorry, Nathan," Elizabeth said after she had sat down with Jack in her lap.
"It took me a long time, and a lot of hard conversations with people, but they made me realize that losing you to someone else is worse for me somehow," Elizabeth added.
Nathan raised an eyebrow.
"Bill, Gabe, and Rosemary, all have had some interesting things to point out about you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it. But you should know that I broke up with Lucas right after and apologized to everyone else. That was when I took the plaque and put it up in here."
"And made Colleen a cross?" Nathan asked.
Elizabeth blushed that he knew.
"Actually, that was made before you left, but it wasn't long before you did," Elizabeth said. "I know that saying 'I'm sorry' and making a cross isn't nearly enough to make you forgive me and to try and open yourself up to the possibility of us again, but know that I do want that. I want to prove to you that I'm ready and committed."
Nathan watched her as she was holding Jack gently.
"It's not me you have to convince," Nathan admitted with a teasing look.
Elizabeth took in his words and really processed them.
"Really?" Elizabeth said with hope.
Nathan nodded.
"I don't know what you've done, exactly, but Colleen gave us her approval earlier today. Allie has always liked you. I'm pretty sure Dad thinks he owes you. Ma…," Nathan trailed off.
"I imagine she is the one who will always have issues with me," Elizabeth admitted.
Nathan laughed but nodded at her deduction.
"Although, she has less problems with you than she did when you met, so I don't know about how you went about things, but she's almost ready to accept you," Nathan said his eyes were turning very blue.
Elizabeth smiled.
"You're the one whose approval I need the most, though," Elizabeth admitted.
"I've been in love with you forever, and I don't think I can stop," Nathan admitted.
Elizabeth was beaming at him.
"So what does this mean exactly?" Elizabeth asked.
Nathan took her hand and kissed it gently. Elizabeth's heart started racing.
"Elizabeth Thornton, may I come calling on you?" Nathan asked as they looked deeply into each other's eyes.
Elizabeth nodded breathlessly.
Nathan smiled back.
"Well, this is definitely going much better than our last conversation in here," Nathan said.
Elizabeth laughed.
They both stood up and walked to her door.
"Nathan, just one last thing before you go," Elizabeth said.
Nathan stopped himself from opening the door and looked at her. She seemed to be debating on whether or not she had the courage to do what her heart was encouraging so forcefully. She looked back at the plaque and stilled her nerves.
She gave him a soft and loving smile before stepping up to him and kissed him softly and gently on the lips. It was short and chaste for a kiss, but both felt that they were feeling sparks and fireworks.
Nathan kept his eyes closed when she pulled back, just trying to process and remember what had happened. When Nathan finally opened his eyes, Elizabeth was looking at him in fear. Nathan gave her a reassuring smile.
"Elizabeth Thornton, you made my week when you agreed to court, but you've made my year with that kiss," Nathan said.
Elizabeth blushed at her own forwardness.
"I will never complain about those. So, don't feel bad," Nathan said as their eyes met. "But I do need to get home. Good-night."
Elizabeth stepped out onto her porch as he walked calmly away from her house.
Nathan was biting his bottom lip as he was thinking about how that had happened. He turned once. Elizabeth was still on her step. She blushed at being caught. Nathan waved, and then walked the rest of the way back home.