Hello Everyone! I am sorry about the confusion of the dreams. My idea, which your comments have shown was unsuccessful, was to show that while Elizabeth is around Nathan his dreams are calmer (not completely gone, because he has PTSD, but calmer). The idea was to show the extremes his once fears can take hold while on his own. Please keep in mind that everything that has happened has been less than a year (it's about mid-March in my story, and Season 8 started about the end of May). And Nathan has had 2.5 years watching and fearing the Lucas/Elizabeth relationship. Nathan's dreams took the fears that were real with Lucas and Elizabeth (in the past because she DID actually ride off after he said "I'm in love with you," the first time) to the worst conclusion he could imagine. It was a figment of his imagination, which is why I had Lucas speak to him about them when Nathan got back. I did go and edit those pieces. So, if you read it before please go back to reread it again. Once again, my apologies about the confusion. I hope this draft is better.
Chapter 31
The Return of Tom Thornton
"Jenny, look out!"
POP POP
"John, you're speaking in tongues again!"
Electric pain.
"Baking soda for the blood stains, Nate."
"Dad?"
Clack-clack-clickety-clack
"I can't give you what you want!"
"Nathan?"
"I can't give you what you want!"
"Nathan?"
Nathan woke with a start as the train jerked him awake with a particularly violent shake. Nathan looked around his surroundings, trying to assess his setting. He often had many nightmares of similar nature. But when he was sleeping next to Elizabeth, she had calmed his nightmares into good dreams. He hadn't realized how much better he slept next to her, until he had started the search for Tom Thornton. Nathan rubbed his face once as he also started fiddling with his wedding band.
The wedding band was always Nathan's best proof that Elizabeth did, in fact, love him the way he had always hoped. But in his nightmares and in his fears, he had feared that their marriage was the dream and reality was that she had stayed with Lucas.
"You okay?" Tom Thornton's voice carried across their cabin.
Nathan shrugged.
"Bad nightmares," Nathan said as he sat up to wake up more fully.
Tom nodded.
"I can't get the front out of my head," Tom admitted.
Nathan nodded.
"I've never fought in a war, so I can't say anything about that kind of trauma," Nathan added.
Tom gave him a long look.
"How long have you been a Mountie?" Tom asked.
"16 years," Nathan replied.
"That's a lot of potential trauma, though. And you're lucky. Pops died after 8. Jack was at 12, but only because he met and fell in love with Elizabeth. The more danger there was, the more Jack would run after it," Tom said. "She forced him to slightly slow down and be okay with a slow and sleepy town."
Nathan smiled.
"Hope Valley isn't slow or sleepy very much any more," Nathan added.
Tom gave a slight smile.
"I hope there is room for Marie," Tom said.
"There will be. The people of Hope Valley are very generous. Someone will make sure she is comfortable near enough to the infirmary," Nathan said. "Charlotte will also be there."
"I'm sorry, for you having to tell Ma about Marie. It should have been my job. But there are moments when I feel like I'm not thinking clearly," Tom admitted with a shrug, just before he started coughing.
"It's Charlotte you will need to apologize to," Nathan said.
"A lot of groveling will happen there," Tom admitted as he closed his eyes in tiredness.
Nathan let Tom lean his head back and sleep once more.
When Nathan had Tom discharged from the hospital, they had traveled with the medications Tom would need and instructions to let Tom rest and sleep whenever he could. Nathan had decided to buy a cabin on the train as their tickets. He figured that Tom would need all the privacy and respect owed of being a traveling sick man. Nathan knew he wouldn't like everyone gawking at him if he were in Tom's shoes, so Nathan had rationalized the expense. They had boarded the train west and were meant to spend three days on the train before disembarking in Hope Valley.
Tom had gotten into a routine of sorts. He would sleep for two hours, be awake for about thirty minutes, then fall back asleep. Nathan had read some of his book he had brought with him, had taken walks up and down the train to bring food back to Tom, and to stretch his legs. He also had visited Newton in the animal car.
In addition to reliving his own nightmares each time he fell asleep.
He always berated himself, because he knew that part of his nightmares didn't actually happen. Elizabeth was IN love with him. Elizabeth was IN love with him, and they had another child on the way.
Gabe had arrived in Hope Valley first, like Nathan had said he would. Charlotte and Bill had already let others know that Tom and his new wife would be coming eventually. So, Carson and Faith were both expecting a very ill Tom Thornton and his new expecting wife.
Charlotte had taken on a job at the livery to be with the horses, but also trying to help Elizabeth with the bills and extra money her staying on the Grant couch had incurred.
"I can't cook a lick, but I can help pay for the extra food," Charlotte had said when she had finally tried handing Elizabeth some of her money.
Elizabeth just looked offended at first.
"We're actually spending less. Nathan eats more than you," Elizabeth pointed out.
Charlotte just raised an eyebrow back until Elizabeth had taken the money.
Faith had offered to let Marie stay with her in her apartment above the Infirmary. So, all Gabe had to do when he got back was to look around and find some blankets and clothes, for Marie and her little one. He had decided to ask the families of Hope Valley for any donations they might have.
His family at home once he got back was the first.
"I'm telling you all right now, if any of you get married and don't tell me…" Cat threatened.
"We know better, Ma," Gabe said.
"Yeah, we're not that stupid," Miles added.
"Besides we would want you there," Emily added.
Cat gave them all one last threatening look, before turning to Gabe.
"What does this Marie need" Cat asked.
Gabe then explained what he knew.
"I will help you gather the donations. We'll be quicker and can set up the other side of Faith's space for Marie," Cat said.
The others nodded.
Gabe smiled.
"Can I say something to my classmates?" Emily asked.
Cat nodded.
"We'll start at the school house tomorrow," Cat said.
This led the Montgomery family to all being led by their mother to school. Elizabeth looked concerned when she saw all of them.
"We're fine," Cat said as she read Elizabeth's concern.
Elizabeth smiled in relief.
"How can I help you?" Elizabeth asked.
"We just need some time to let your students and their families know that we are holding a donation drive for Marie Thornton and her baby when they get to Hope Valley," Cat said.
Elizabeth smiled.
"How thoughtful! Of course you may speak to them. In fact, I will set up a donation box in the school house for them to bring it in, and you can collect it when you're ready," Elizabeth said.
Cat smiled.
Elizabeth gestured for them to follow them into the school house to find a box to use as a donation box.
"Allie, will you ring the bell when it's time to start school?" Elizabeth asked as she passed over the cow bell.
"Sure, Mom!" Allie said as she took the bell reverently.
Elizabeth gave her a look of reprimand for the informal greeting.
"School hasn't started yet, MOM!" Allie defended her word choice.
Elizabeth barely suppressed her smile as she went inside the school house.
"Hi, Allie!" Elizabeth heard many of the students greet her.
Allie dashed away but also still held the bell carefully.
Elizabeth and the Montgomerys all found a medium sized box.
"This will have to do for now," Elizabeth said.
"What will have to do?" Lee asked as he and Rosemary entered with Fred.
"We're setting up a donation box for Marie Thornton in the school house…" Cat started.
Rosemary and Lee both smiled…and the others watched as Rosemary took the idea and made it bigger.
"That box is too small! Lee, you need to have someone bring a bigger box! And we need to have multiple boxes set around the town, outside of the Mercantile and other high traffic areas," Rosemary said. "I need to put it in the paper!"
"Yes, dear," Lee said with affection.
"Good. Now, Elizabeth, the reason we're in here early is because Fred hasn't been feeling well," Rosemary said.
"I will make sure to watch him extra carefully today," Elizabeth said.
Lee nodded his thanks as he and Rosemary said goodbye to their son.
With Fred settled, Lee and Rosemary made their exits just as Allie was at the top of the steps and turning to ring the bell.
"Good morning, Allie!"
"Good morning!"
"Good morning, Allie."
Was heard as Allie greeted each individual classmate and complimented them as they entered.
Elizabeth was smiling with pride at Allie.
Allie hadn't quite decided what she wanted to do yet, but Elizabeth silently hoped that teaching was an option, because she would be very good at it.
Elizabeth had positioned herself at the back of the pews to watch everyone enter. Allie finally turned and shut the church doors.
"That's everyone," Allie said as she handed over the bell to Elizabeth.
"Thank you, Allie," Elizabeth said with a smile.
"You're welcome, Mrs. Grant," Allie emphasized the Mrs. Grant.
Elizabeth just smiled wider as Allie sat down with Opal and Anna.
"Good morning, everyone," Elizabeth greeted warmly.
"Good morning, Mrs. Grant," the class chorused.
Elizabeth still felt her butterflies at being called Mrs. Grant. Just like she had with Mrs. Thornton, it would take time to get used to it, but it always made her smile and happy.
"This morning the Montgomery family has something they would like to say and ask of you and your families, so please give them your undivided attention," Elizabeth said as she gestured for them to come forward.
They all walked to stand in front of Elizabeth's desk.
Cat started.
"Many of you know that Tom Thornton, Mountie Jack's little brother, was missing, but then found but very ill. During the search there has been found that Mr. Thornton has a young wife who is expecting a child on her way to Hope Valley, because that's where Mrs. Thornton is. We know that they won't have much to their names. So, we are asking that you and your family look through what you have and see if you can donate anything to them, so that worrying about housing materials and clothes are the last thing on their minds," Cat explained.
"We're putting a donation box in the corner," Gabe said as he pointed to where the medium sized box was.
"I hope you get a bigger box! That one won't last long," Opal said.
Everyone looked at her.
"It's too small. Hope Valley will have that filled by this time tomorrow," Opal explained.
The students nodded.
"Mr. and Mrs. Coulter are bringing around bigger boxes and to have them placed in other locations and to get the word spread a little bit faster," Elizabeth said.
Opal smiled.
"Is there anything that they would need more of?" Allie asked.
Everyone turned to Cat.
"Baby things, I would expect. Gender neutral. Seasonal clothes and wear," Cat said.
Every student wrote down her answer in their notebooks.
"Any other questions?" Elizabeth asked.
No one asked.
Cat, Gabe, and Miles all left the school house. Emily sat in her seat next to Allie.
And Opal ended up being correct. Once the word had spread about Marie Thornton, the school house donation box was brimming and overflowing the next morning. Lee brought two boxes to the school house after school when he was picking up Fred, one to empty the old one into it and the other to replace the medium box.
Cat and Gabe both organized the donations for Marie Thornton and put some into Faith Carter's apartment as things to be used immediately and some to be stored and put away for later use.
Cadet Brooks arrived with Marie the day before Nathan and Tom were supposed to return. Bill and Charlotte were the ones greeting them at the train station.
They saw Cadet Brooks first in his serge and opening a door for a medium height, dark haired woman, who was about six months pregnant. Cadet Brooks helped the woman down the steps and onto the platform. She raised her eyes to the people standing on the platform.
"Madame Thornton!" the woman said in an elegant French.
"Are you Marie?" Charlotte asked.
Marie just nodded, not quite trusting her voice.
Charlotte pulled her into a hug.
"Please call me Charlotte," she said into the woman's ear.
"I'm sorry that you've only just learned about me. Tom was…was…was…" Marie was struggling for the word.
"Being bullheaded and stupid," Charlotte filled in for her.
Marie gave a slight laugh, but nodded.
"Sounds like my Tom," Charlotte added.
"Oui," Marie agreed.
"This is Judge Bill Avery, he's a longtime friend," Charlotte introduced.
They exchanged polite greetings.
"Dr. Faith Carter has agreed to let you room with her," Bill started to explain as he and Cadet Brooks were getting the bags, and the Cadet's horse.
"Dr. Faith Carter?" Marie asked.
"Yes, she used to be our nurse," Bill explained.
"A woman doctor! I am very impressed," Marie said.
"She thought you might like someone who knows the joys and trials of being a nurse." Charlotte added. "She also lives above the Infirmary where Tom will be staying when he gets here."
"Merci," Marie added.
Charlotte and Bill helped Marie into Faith's room where Faith was also waiting for her.
"Mrs. Thornton, my name is Dr. Carter," Faith introduced herself as she held out her hand to shake.
"Please call me Marie," Marie said as she shook Faith's hand.
"Faith," Faith said with a big smile. "I hope you don't mind. It is a little cramped in here, but it is also the shortest distance to the Infirmary."
Marie was looking around at Faith's space. Faith had several pictures of a handsome man and herself spread around medical textbooks.
"I'm going to let you three get settled. I'm going to cook and bring over your meals so you don't have to worry about going out to eat," Bill said as he turned to leave the women.
"You cook?" Marie asked in surprise.
"Bill co-owns the café," Faith explained.
"Trust me, these two can't cook, so you're better off with mine," Bill added as he pointed to Faith and Charlotte.
Marie looked at both of them.
"That's true," Charlotte admitted.
Faith nodded.
Bill waved in goodbye before shutting the door firmly behind him.
"This side and everything here are things the people of Hope Valley have donated for you to be comfortable," Faith said as she showed Marie the donations.
Marie looked through the piles.
"I don't know how to thank you. This is beyond generous," Marie said as she held up several knitted baby blankets.
"How far along are you?" Faith asked as she gestured towards the baby.
"Almost seven months. I will admit that there have been times that I thought the stress would kill it, but he or she is resilient," Marie said. "I've taken to listening to it's heartbeat with my own stethoscope."
Faith smiled at her.
"Would you be willing for me to do an examination?" Faith asked.
"Sure, but I can already tell you most of what you would be looking for," Marie added.
"Do you have a sense of what it is?" Charlotte asked.
"I feel like he's a boy, but I could be wrong," Marie said.
Faith and Charlotte both smiled.
"Where are you from?" Charlotte asked as they got more settled into Faith's small living room.
"Orleans, in France. My father was a baker," Marie said.
"Was?" Charlotte asked.
"He passed from a heart attack in 1902. He left the bakery to my two brothers, Raul and Andre. My mother died in childbirth with me. I never knew her. Papa never remarried either. Raul and Andre were both very good at their professions. Papa taught them well. But Raul got sick. Tuberculosis. Andre was killed by Germans when they were marching through Orleans. So, I was quite alone and had been for some years by the time I married Tom," Marie explained.
"How did you become a nurse?" Faith asked.
"I was the little girl who was always trying to help and fix ill and injured animals and people. I am not squeamish. Never have been. I knew that I would need to work and I would need to do something where I helped people," Marie said.
"We're going to get along just swimmingly," Charlotte said. "I also think you and Allie need to talk."
"Allie?" Marie asked. Tom hadn't mentioned an Allie to her.
"Allie is…" Charlotte was having difficulty describing how Allie was related.
"Allie is Instructor Grant's daughter, and is much the same. She's not squeamish and enjoys being outdoors," Faith said.
"Who is Instructor Grant?" Marie asked.
"The Mountie in charge of Tom's missing person case. He is the one traveling with Tom," Charlotte explained.
Marie nodded.
Eventually, Faith convinced Marie to go down to the Infirmary and have a proper check up and to be introduced to Dr. Sheppard. As they both did their checks, Marie was saying what they were taking note of.
Faith and Carson both looked at each other as she was diagnosing herself.
"Well, Marie, you are very well versed and know your stuff. Have you thought about becoming a doctor?" Carson asked.
Marie shook her head violently.
"Never," came out in her thick French accent.
Faith led her outside to where Charlotte had been waiting for them, when they were interrupted.
"Nana Thornton!" came Allie's voice.
"Yes, Allie," Charlotte said as she looked towards where the voice had come from.
"Mom is not doing well today. She tried making Jack eggs and she couldn't handle the smell…" Allie started.
Charlotte nodded in understanding.
"What do you need? What does she need?" Charlotte asked.
"She needs your help telling others that school is cancelled today, and to pass out the homework," Allie said as she lifted the pages in Allie's hands.
Charlotte scoffed.
"She's canceling school?" Charlotte asked in shock.
Allie nodded.
"Well, that's silly," Charlotte said as she grabbed the papers from Allie. "I will sub today."
Allie looked at her in surprise.
"The class can be a handful for subs," Allie whispered.
"Oh, I know," Charlotte whispered back. "You go get the school opened while I go yell at your mother."
Allie shrugged but followed Charlotte's directions.
"Elizabeth Grant, why on earth are you trying to cancel school?" Charlotte demanded as he pranced through the door.
"Because you were meeting Marie today. I don't want to intrude," Elizabeth said with a pale look as Laura played with Jack.
"Nonsense. It's not a problem. Where are your plans for the day?" Charlotte asked.
Elizabeth just eyed Charlotte Thornton. She was the one woman in town who could be trusted with her plans. Elizabeth just gestured to where her desk was and pointed to the papers on the very top.
Charlotte grabbed them with a smirk and left quickly after that. She had Allie help her set up the classroom before school started.
Charlotte and Allie greeted the students as Allie rang the cowbell. The parents of the children were all surprised that Charlotte Thornton was the sub.
"Charlotte!" Rosemary said in surprise as she was dropping off Fred.
"Elizabeth isn't feeling well," Charlotte explained.
Rosemary nodded. "I kind of wish I could stay, but the news waits for no one."
Charlotte nodded.
"I would wish you luck, but you're not going to need it," Rosemary said in goodbye.
Charlotte then escorted the rest of the students and shut the doors.
"Hello, everyone! Mrs. Grant is not feeling well today. So, I will be filling in her absence," Charlotte said.
"Awesome, homework day," Harper said with a smile.
"Actually, we're going to go through her planned lessons," Charlotte informed them.
The class smirked back. Every sub had said that but every sub also gave them homework days when they couldn't handle the chaos anymore.
They started the day with reading.
Charlotte rotated around as they read in groups. She corrected mispronounced words. Next was math. She showed them all how to complete each level. Allie was tasked with being a tutor during the math section since she was so advanced.
She was working with Cooper and Angela about a math concept where they kept making simple mistakes.
"Math is like quicksand. One wrong move and you're sunk," Allie said. Cooper and Angela both laughed.
Charlotte had been sitting with them as she shook her head.
"That's one of your dad's jokes," Charlotte whispered into Allie's ear as they both stepped away.
Allie blushed but gave an imperceptible nod.
The school day was interrupted by Mr. Landis doing a school observation check.
"Excuse me, but where is Mrs. Grant?" he asked Charlotte as she had been about to talk about the science lesson.
"She's feeling ill today. I'm filling in for her," Charlotte said with a look that he needed to come back later.
"Are you actually teaching?" Mr. Landis said offended.
Charlotte rolled her eyes.
"We are in a school room. I don't see a problem with it," Charlotte said.
"Are you certified to teach students with disabilities?" Mr. Landis argued.
"Not currently, but most of the subs in this town aren't," Charlotte argued.
"Then it needs to be Mrs. Grant in the classroom," Mr. Landis ordered.
"Excuse me, Sir. But I must protest that! If you are such an expert in the classroom, please show me how it's done," Charlotte added with a challenge in her eyes.
Mr. Landis hesitated, before going to the front of the classroom. Charlotte sat next to Angela.
Mr. Landis fumbled his way through the lesson and wasn't helpful to Angela at all.
Charlotte looked around the room and noticed that even the pupils who were strong in science weren't getting what he had tried to say.
"May I show you what I was trying to do?" Charlotte asked.
Landis nodded.
Charlotte went back to the front.
"How many of you have farm or ranch animals?" Charlotte said and started counting the number of hands outloud so that Angela could hear it herself.
Charlotte then started talking about breeding cows and other ranch animals and for what purposes. Then they were challenged with finding and noting examples of genetics in their lives, starting with the things and people in the classroom. She escorted Angela around and gave detailed descriptions of the things they were looking at.
Mr. Landis watched the lesson with a little bit of amazement.
"Who are you, exactly?" Mr. Landis asked as the students were released for lunch.
"Charlotte Thornton," Charlotte answered.
"Any relation to," Landis pointed to the school name plaque.
"Jack Thornton was my eldest," Charlotte said.
The man nodded respectfully before heading back towards main st.
"Don't forget to grab something you find pretty in nature. We're drawing still lifes when you get back inside!" Charlotte ordered as she stood at the top step.
The students hadn't had a better sub than Charlotte, and Charlotte was reminded of how much she loved teaching.
As the children were released, Bill met Charlotte and Allie inside the school house.
"You've always been a skilled teacher, Charlotte," Bill complimented.
Allie looked up between them.
"Nana Thornton, don't you work on a ranch?" Allie asked.
"With my brother's family. But I was a teacher, long before that," Charlotte admitted.
Allie nodded in understanding.
"I take it Mom knows this about you?" Allie asked.
"She does," Charlotte confirmed.
"Which is why you had to yell at her," Allie stated.
Charlotte just nodded in confirmation.
"Why did you stop?" Allie asked.
"Because my husband passed. I needed to mourn him and try to be there for my boys," Charlotte explained.
"Why didn't you go back to teaching?" Allie asked.
"I kept telling myself that the recertification process wasn't worth the time and effort after so many years. And most towns want a woman to wear dresses," Charlotte said.
Allie smiled at her.
Bill walked with Charlotte and Allie back home.
Charlotte and Allie informed Elizabeth of the visit.
"Oh, dear, I completely forgot about him visiting," Elizabeth looked apologetic.
"He is not a teacher," Charlotte protested.
Allie agreed.
Elizabeth silently listened to both of them rant about the ineffectiveness of Mr. Landis. Charlotte even went one step further.
"If he is needing to make sure that your subs are certified, I will recertify to be your sub," Charlotte said.
Elizabeth looked at Charlotte.
"You would have to stay here. You do realize that?" Elizabeth pointed out as she sipped ginger tea.
"Yup," Charlotte added.
Elizabeth just smiled back.
The next day, there were a lot more people on the train platform to greet Nathan and Tom. Charlotte was standing with Marie. Dr. Sheppard and Dr. Carter were at the station to get a first look at Tom Thornton himself. Elizabeth, Allie, Jack, and Bill were also there.
They saw Nathan first, because of his height. Tom was just behind him as they stepped off the train together.
"DAD!" Allie took a running leap into Nathan's arms. Nathan just braced himself and held her tightly until she let go.
The others had walked over and started conversations with Tom.
"Thomas Thornton, how dare you?" Charlotte lectured.
"Sorry, Ma," he said with his head bowed.
Charlotte continued to glare at him.
"We missed you," Allie said into Nathan's ears as she gave him one last squeeze.
"I've missed all of you as well," Nathan said as he looked at his family.
Elizabeth and Jack went easily into his arms.
The group slowly grabbed their things and slowly made their way back into town.
Bill was holding Jack and walking with Allie as he allowed Nathan and Elizabeth some space to talk.
"How are you?" Nathan asked in a whisper.
"Morning sickness is an all day sickness, and it's worse than with Jack, but Faith said that is a good thing right now," Elizabeth said.
Nathan smiled as he kissed her head.
"How are you? You look like you haven't been sleeping well," Elizabeth observed.
"I haven't been," Nathan admitted.
"Were you being triggered?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes. And my fears were playing rampant in my nightmares," Nathan said softly.
Elizabeth held his face and gently ran her fingers through the hair that she could reach.
"I love you," she said softly.
Nathan gave her a strained smile and brought her left hand up to kiss her fingers he paused ever so slightly on her ring fingers.
The Grant family decided to allow Charlotte, Tom, and Marie the privacy to have their own separate reunion. So they had gone home after Nathan had settled Newton in the livery.
"Jenny, look out!"
POP POP
"John, you're speaking in tongues again!"
Electric pain.
"Baking soda for the blood stains, Nate."
"I can't give you what you want!"
"You're evil, John."
"I can't give you what you want!"
"You don't deserve a family, John."
"I can't give you what you want!"
Nathan woke with his heart beating faster as he looked around the room. Elizabeth had been so tired, she hadn't woken up to Nathan's movements in the bed before his nightmare had woken him up.
Nathan tried to just let holding Elizabeth be a way to calm himself. Charlotte was still sleeping on the couch, he couldn't go downstairs.
As he laid there, the images in his nightmare still unsettled his stomach and made him too anxious to relax back into sleep. So, Nathan quietly slipped out of bed, grabbed some whittling tools from his bedside table, put on a sweater, some slippers, and opened the window. He assessed how far away the tree was and began to climb out of the window into the tree. When he had been a kid, the only place he could go that felt like he was away from the problems of the world had been a tall tree that only he would climb. He would find the best curve for his body and sit and think or whittle or read until he was calm.
Nathan made sure the window was shut so that Elizabeth would be awakened by the cold air and then climbed higher into the tree, to sit and think. Eventually, Nathan made it to the top of the rowhouse roof and watched the stars show the movement of the planet.
Elizabeth woke the next morning without Nathan close to her, or feeling his side of the bed cooling off. In fact, the only reason she could tell he was home was the return of his things to their room. She shrugged as she had assumed that he had just woken up and gone to work. She heard Allie, Jack, and Charlotte downstairs. Allie was making breakfast.
"Good morning," everyone greeted.
"Where's Nathan?" Charlotte asked.
"He's not down here?" Elizabeth asked.
"We haven't seen him," Charlotte answered.
"He's probably at work," Allie said.
"Probably," Elizabeth agreed
While Charlotte nodded she looked like she didn't believe it either.
Eventually, the family got ready and were walking back towards town. Cadet Cross was sitting in Nathan's outside chair. They could hear Cadet Baker inside the office, but no Nathan.
"Where's Nathan?" Bill asked as he and Cadet Baker left the Mountie Office and shut the door behind them.
"We thought he was here," Elizabeth said.
"We haven't seen him," Cadet Baker said.
"When was the last time you saw him?" Bill asked as he sensed Elizabeth's growing concern.
"Last night when we went to bed," Elizabeth said.
"Any changes in him?" Bill asked.
"He's not been sleeping well," Elizabeth said.
"Well, he probably went on a long walk to not disturb you, and then lost track of time. I will ride out to see," Bill said softly.
Elizabeth smiled gratefully as she turned her attention back to where her family was being introduced to Tom Thornton.
Lucas was the one who ended up seeing Nathan on the top of the rowhouse first, and really it had been a guess.
'Nathan isn't stupid enough to walk that far at night without proper clothes. But if he needed time to process or think, he couldn't go down because Charlotte was still sleeping on their sofa. So, where would he be able to go?' Lucas was walking around the base of the house and saw the tree outside the one window. 'If he needed out, he would have gone up, not down. Which means he's on their roof!"
Lucas started throwing small pebbles at the roof. Around the edge of the house.
He finally heard Nathan, and then saw him pop his head over the ledge.
"Bouchard?" Nathan said skeptically.
"I'm not the one sleeping on a roof when I have a perfectly wonderful wife to share my bed," Lucas pointed out.
Nathan sighed heavily before quickly going to the tree and expertly climbing down it.
"What, were you a squirrel in another life?" Lucas asked.
Nathan shrugged as he opened the front door and let both of them in. Nathan quickly went upstairs to clean up and change.
"Care to explain why you were sleeping on your roof?" Lucas asked.
"It's personal," Nathan said.
"Usually is. But why couldn't you talk to Elizabeth about it?" Lucas asked.
Nathan sighed before sitting down.
"Listen, if I tell you, you have to promise this stays between us," Nathan said seriously.
Lucas nodded.
Nathan then went into an explanation of his increasing nightmares and hid fears. When he ended with how the latest nightmare ended, Lucas just started smiling.
"It sounds like you don't feel like you deserve everything that has happened that has been a good thing," Lucas summarized.
Nathan nodded.
"Why don't you deserve all of this?" Lucas asked.
"Because I'm broken, Lucas," Nathan said.
"And?" Lucas asked.
"What more reason do I need?" Nathan argued back.
"Because if that is your only reason, it's a weak one. You're a good man, with a large and generous heart. We're all broken. All of us. Yes, some more than others, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve to be loved or have success. I'm not surprised that Elizabeth chose you. Your core values line up with hers quite well," Lucas said.
Nathan looked at him in surprise.
"It's true. And next time wake Elizabeth up instead of climbing onto your roof. For a man whose instinct it is to go towards danger, your domestic fight or flight instincts are highly flight," Lucas observed.
"I would say, more cautionary," Nathan agreed.
They both left the Grant house. They walked into town just as Bill was riding bac from the opposite direction. Nathan heard Jack playing with Allie in the Infirmary. Elizabeth was standing in the doorway looking at the street worried until she saw Nathan. She smiled with relief. Nathan smiled back.