In just one look, Kara's whole world went red. She couldn't remember anything but red. She couldn't remember the dinner or the diner. She couldn't remember the man sitting across from the Red. She couldn't even remember the man holding her hand. All she could see, or think about, was red. Lena. Lena Luthor's red. The red dress she'd worn on her date with the man whose name Kara had forgotten in a flash of red.
The man holding Kara's hand gave her a little nudge, and Kara was instantly shot back to the present. Jack. Jack Spheer. That was his name. The man sitting across from the Red. And the man holding Kara's hand was Mon-El. They were here to find Lena, and help her on her date with the mysterious Jack Spheer. He was an old flame of hers. Flame. How fitting. Something else Red.
Brought back to the present by Mon-El, Kara forced a big fat smile on her face as she approached Lena and Jack.
"Oh my God! Are you guys eating here?!" Kara shrilled, voice almost painfully high-pitched.
"We're eating here!" she pointed to herself and Mon-El as they both spoke in perfect unison, grinning like idiots.
The look on Lena's face said it all. She could only shake her head with a disbelieving and embarrassed laugh.
"What a complete and utter coincidence," she said, having never sounded more sarcastic.
"Ms. Danvers," Jack greeted Kara with a polite but guarded nod.
"Ah, yes, this is my boyfriend, Mike!" Kara introduced Mon-El, but the moment she said "boyfriend" she felt her stomach twist. No, Mon-El was not her boyfriend. Or at least, she didn't want him to be. She wanted Lena, she wanted the Red. But she kept on her happy façade as she moved swiftly to Lena's side.
"Do you mind if we join?" she asked, already taking a seat right beside Lena. Meanwhile, Mon-El greeted Jack with a boyish grin.
"Kara, I appreciate the rescue, but it's really not necessary!" Lena whispered as soon as Kara was seated.
"That's what friends are for!" came the too-happy, too-possessive reply, but Lena completely missed it, only giving Kara another uncertain but amused smile as she turned back to Jack. For the second time that night, Kara saw Red, but this time, it wasn't as pleasant.
Kara continued to try to weasel information out of Jack, but before long, he and Lena struck up a conversation and Kara was forgotten.
"Maybe another time, Ms. Danvers," Jack murmured, having eyes only for Lena.
"Oh, ummm, uhh, Lena, a-a-are you?" Kara muttered, suddenly feeling very inferior and embarrassed. She looked to Lena for help, but Lena was just as fixated on Jack as he was on her. In the same subdued tone, Lena agreed with Jack and gently told Kara that her help was no longer needed.
"Well, we are out," Mon-El said at last, trying to come to Kara's rescue. She shot him an unreadable look, but said nothing. "Cause nothing gets in the way of romance!" he stood to go and Kara winced again, but she obliged to stand as well. While Kara shot Lena one last pained look, Mon-El was busy pickpocketing Jack for his security badge during their farewell "man-nection" hug. That much made Kara smile, but even as she existed the building, playfully nudging Mon-El, the Red stayed in her mind like a stain, or a brand, or a flame. Even after she'd returned to the darkness of the night, all she could see, or think about, was Red.
ooo
Several months later, Jack was dead and Mon-El was forced flee Earth. This left Kara and Lena alone together once more. It was lonely without the men whom they had genuinely come to love, but even through all of that bitter blue, Kara could still shades of red. After that first night with Lena in the red dress, Kara was never able to completely erase that image from her mind. No matter what Lena wore, Kara always saw the red reflected from her memory. Then fate finally decided to be kind to her, and she got to see Lena in that little red dress once again. But even better than the dress was the fact that, this time, Lena was wearing it for her.
"Kara! So glad you could make it!" Lena greeted Kara with a warm laugh and an even warmer hug and kiss.
"Of course! I wouldn't miss date night for anything!" Kara replied, her own face burning red as she embraced Lena. "You look gorgeous, by the way!" she murmured, reaching out and finally daring to touch that stunning dress.
"Thank you," Lena smiled shyly, starting to blush as well. Lena could feel one of Kara's fingers touching her skin, and it sent electric chills down her spine. Lena, in that moment, even felt Red. Red faces, Red dress, Red heart, Red blood. Smiling faces, gorgeous dress, pounding heart, warm blood. So much Red. Kara could see it, and Lena could feel it, both of them connected by the warm, passionate and loving Red...
"Well, this is lovely," Lena said at last, smiling at Kara over the top of her menu.
"Better than last time?" Kara joked dryly. Whether it was a sense of irony, or a desire for at least one proper date at this establishment, Lena had chosen to bring Kara back to the place where she and Jack had first dined, and where Kara and Mon-El had crashed their party. This time, though, the awkwardness was gone. Only warmth and understanding remained, two hearts and minds so perfectly in sync.
No more Jack. No more Mon-El. No more "investigative journalism". Just Lena and Kara and Red. There was the red of their cheeks and lips, of Lena's exquisite dress, of the wine and roses. It was a beautiful, peaceful evening, full of love and laughter.
"Yes, way better than last time," Lena agreed, laughing again. Kara playfully raised a crystal glass full of red liquid in response, and Lena was quick to copy the gesture. It was such a romantic evening, Kara knew that she was exactly where she belonged.
The only other place that could come even close to this came after dinner, in between the sheets with Lena still at her side. This time, though, there was no more red dress. It was discarded as soon as the two lovers entered the bedroom. But even though the red dress was gone, red lips and rosy cheeks remained, locking and unlocking over and over again. Breathless and breathy all at once, the two laughed and smiled and complimented and crooned. Back and forth they went in a little dance, kissing and touching and nuzzling.
First, it was Kara's dress, whose color she did not even remember, because it was not the Red. Then it was Lena's, the bright scarlet fabric removed from her body inch by inch. Zipper undone, straps removed, dress pulled down, skirt taken off. Then the dress was tossed casually to the ground and kicked aside. There was a new red now, a fire in her heart that burned only for Lena. In her mind, it was even more stunning than the dress. For the rest of the night, all Kara could see, hear, smell, taste and touch was Red.
Next morning, the sun shined through the window on tangled blankets and bodies. Kara woke up first. Lena was still out cold, but Kara was certain she could see the heated red of Lena's cheeks, even though that had been from hours ago. Kara kissed her gently, right on that redness, then she got up, stretching contentedly. She noticed the red dress still tossed carelessly on the floor, cast aside. Kara smiled, feeling some of that red from the previous night, some of the red from the dress, seep back into her own face as she continued to look at it, thanking it for all it had given her. She was, of course, most grateful for such a wonderful night with the woman she loved. And at the thought, her face became even redder.
ooo
But then there came a time when red no longer symbolized good things. Instead, it meant bad things like fear, anger, resentment and hatred. It was no longer captivating, but burning and painful, a scorching reminder of all that Kara had and had not done.
"You never told me! Why didn't you tell me?!" Lena was furious, demanding. Her face and eyes were red again, but not in the shade Kara wanted them to be. There was nothing but anger and pain now. The truth was out, and Lena was on the warpath, bright red, blood red, fiery red.
"You told everyone else except me! Why? Have we not been friends, been lovers, for the past… how many years now? Why should newer friends like Brainy and Nia be allowed to know, but not me? One of your oldest and closest, your nearest and dearest! Have I not proven myself time and time again? Or are you still that distrustful of a Luthor? Even after everything we've been through and everything I've done for you, was I still not enough? I wanted so badly for you to trust me… Maybe I should've realized that I couldn't trust you!"
So much red… Angry red, bright red, powerful red. It was bloody and blinding, the color of wrath. Kara could only tremble before it. She wanted to speak, truly she did! But suddenly, it all seemed so woefully inadequate. Even the truth sounded weak now! How could she say it? How could she tell Lena that she kept the secret because she was scared Lena would hate her if she ever found out?
Lena's reaction was proving Kara's very point, but how could Kara say it without making Lena even madder? Lena would just demand to know why Kara hadn't tried to figure it out sooner. Why she'd chosen instead just to hide it. Life had given them ample opportunity to talk things over, but Kara never took a single chance. So what argument did she have to make? This was where her hesitation had gotten them. It was entirely on her head. One of Kara's greatest fears was that Lena would stop loving her, or would start seeing her as something Less. It was why she had kept her secret for so long. But life was cruel, and now Kara's worst fears were coming to fruition right before her eyes despite all of her best efforts.
A bright red pain shot through Kara's body as Lena continued to hiss and spit, but Kara still felt frozen in fear. The mighty Girl of Steel was rendered powerless, not by Kryptonite, but by something just as devastating: fear and love. Unable to think or speak, she could only stand there as Lena continued to yell and demand. But after long enough, Lena's red rage began to subside.
A dark gray, a cold blue, settled in its place and she began to withdraw. She closed up again, disowning the Superfriends. Even if it was Kara's secret, they were all guilty in Lena's eyes.
"If you have nothing to say to me now, then I don't believe that we have anything more to say to each other ever again," Lena's voice was cold and hard, but there was one single tremble in it. It was the perfect time for Kara to speak, but all she wanted to do was cry. She opened her mouth, but just like always, nothing came out.
Lena's eyes widened, then they narrowed again. She took Kara's silence and answered in kind, brushing past the girl without another sound, never looking back even once. But even though Lena did not look back, Kara did. She turned around and watched Lena go, taking all of the Red with her. All of the anger and joy and passion followed Lena out the door, leaving Kara with nothing but a blue that she'd never known.
ooo
In the days to come, Lena made good on her vow to disown Kara, never speaking to her, or even acknowledging her, no matter what the situation demanded. The blue slowly faded into dark gray as Kara suddenly realized she was going to be all alone from now on. She was going to have to get used to a life without Lena. A life without her lover. A life without her nearest and dearest. That person who'd been such a foundational part of her life for so many years was just… gone. And in that, Kara had lost an entire future as well.
It was like the ground had been ripped out from underneath her, before she had the chance to catch herself and start flying again. Now all she could do was fly through the freefall. She fell away from the red and through the blue and right into the endless dark gray, all alone. But try as Kara did, she could never forget Lena. Everything reminded the Kryptonian of her Luthor. Seeing L-Corp or Lena was like torture, and everything else in the city managed to drag up some painful memory or another.
Flashbacks and echoes surrounded Kara everywhere she went. And moving on from Lena was impossible because Kara could still see every memory so clearly in her head. There was no more Red in Kara's life, except in those flashbacks and echoes, then it would come back with hideous clarity as though trying to make up for the fact that it was now absent in her present life, just like Lena was. The reds in her life were muted until the memories started, then they were brilliant and blinding and burning. A burning red.
And they spun around her head in a rainbow-torrent of colors, the Red brightest of all. There was Lena, standing in the very heart of it all, still in that cursed red dress from years ago. That was the cruelest memory of the bunch, the red dress. It was also the most persistent, and it never ever left Kara's mind. Even when everything else would go away and fade into blue and gray, the burning Red of that little dress remained forever in Kara's mind, like a stain, or a brand, or a flame.
It was like Kara's love for Lena, which was still very real and very strong. Even if Lena's love for Kara had turned cold and faded, Kara's love for Lena still burned so bright that it was impossible for her to let go. And it was all because of that stupid red dress! And the stupid red memories of stupid red days and nights, red smiles and red kisses…
Even though all of that red was gone from her present life, it managed to seep in through memories and torment her endlessly. She would not stop loving Lena, because she could not regret Lena, because those red memories had been all too real, and Kara couldn't just discard them like she had with the little red dress. Even if she wanted to, Kara couldn't be free from the red. And even if Lena thought the memories were false, Kara knew in her red, beating heart, that they were all true. Perhaps they'd been laced with lies, but they were still real.
Those precious moments, although tainted by time, were too red for her to forget, because loving her was Red. Loving Lena Luthor was Red. And all Kara could see, or think about or remember, was the Red.
AN: So here we go, the SuperCorp day: Red! It's actually very fitting tbh (and yes, I did reference the Taylor Swift song during the angsty portion of this fic, because it's very fitting. 4x22 still has me dead and it's been a couple weeks now. I'm pathetic. LOL.)