Hi everyone, thank you for being patient. This isnt the complete chapter I wanted to write, it is a bit too "filler" for my taste but I wanted to just get it out there. For lifelong fans (lol), you may recall the original storys plot, I can confirm Alec will have the same issue. No spoilers! Your questions will be answered, slowly.

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I was alone again, doing my best to swallow the heartbreak of Janes almost emotionless departure. At least she said she loved me. The only real way I have to contact her now is through our old burner phones she set up for us years ago. I hope Jane still has it and took it with her. I plan to reach out once I get to my destination, if I make it. Caro, Michigan is the new residence of the Cullen coven.

Alice sends a card to us The Volturi every time they move to keep them in the know. Aro has concluded she does this as a sign she will never join the guard, that he will never have the precious psychic on his side. Now he has barely anyone, Demetri will soon figure out where I land and once that happens Aro will truly understand the Cullens power.

I admit that is one of the reasons I am drawn to their family. My combat skills are not as up to par as someone without abilities and I needed protection. Making my way down Italy to the coast; only being able to move this quickly in the twilight hours, I entertained more of these thoughts. The last time The Volturi interacted with them was on a very grand and dramatic scale, four years ago now. We sadly saw no action, only a retelling of a vision Aro was shown by Alice. They must of course still view me as a threat, did Alice see the death of Chelsea and Afton? She must know I am on my way. I feel such regret attacking Bella with my powers that day, even though they did not affect her. I was following orders but did not know the illusion I was under, the illusion we all were under. The Cullens and their witnesses were in the right to defend themselves. They were innocent after all. I can only pray they see my hopeful orange eyes and deem me worthy of redemption. The first thing I had to get rid of were my red ones.

Diving straight into the Gulf of Genoa, wrapping up my electronics in the plastic sealed bags I packed in my go bag, I swam around Spain. Swimming was not something I did quite often, so I enjoyed the deep blue waters, the fish and other sea creatures, predators and prey. I lost track of time as I carried on across the North Atlantic, safely deep underwater as the sun rose.

I was again left alone with my thoughts, my mind quickly beginning the obsessive cycle I am too familiar with. Jane become ashamed of me a good time ago, I disgraced the Volturi by giving in to my depression. I tried my best to not dwell on the incident and instead focused on the aftermath. If I analyzed the situation over enough maybe I could convince myself it was different or change something. I am hoping to somehow become a better man, I feel as if I am sick. Mentally unwell my sister called it, rolling her eyes as the words left her lips. I cannot pinpoint a specific incident that made my sadness rise up, Demetri had a theory it is because of my age that I am stunted, due to when I was turned. I believe I am just deeply dissatisfied in life and have trouble accepting and processing my emotions, or something like that.

Another issue I know I will have is acting human and being around them for long periods of time. I have been able to hold back my feeding but not while resisting human scents at the same time. I have never had the need to fake my breathing or move on occasion. My skin is paler and slightly rough due to spending so much time in the castle, sometimes not moving for long periods of time. Paired with my awkward personality, I am sure this will go off without a hit…

It was going to be a pain in the ass to get to Michigan, through Maine and parts of Canada is the only good option I have. If I stay out of sight through Maine, which should not be too difficult, I should be able to hide in the bountiful forests scattered near Toronto. So thats what I did. I felt safe to stop in the Adirondack Park in New York for a smoke, now that the sun was rising for a second time on my journey. One of the most ridiculous coping skills I have picked up according to Aro. I was feeding off a burnette when her purse slipped from her arms. I only noticed it after I was done draining her because of the lighter. When I reached for it, her pack of MS cigarettes slipped out of the worn leather bag. I did not know if vampires could even inhale properly, surely it would not have a real addictive affect on an immortal. I was right with that hypothesis but it did help calm my thoughts at times and I always had a lighter near, I can kill two birds with one stone.

I leaned against a tall white pine as I flicked my lighter, putting it back in the plastic bag now sealed again. As I inhaled, exhaled, and repeated, I knew I would have to hunt soon. I was far enough away from humans that it did not intensify the burn but it was still there. If I hunted at least one animal hopefully my eyes would change even just slightly. Slipping the butt into my side pocket, I made a small place to sit while I waited for sundown. Unzipping my makeshift go bag, I reached for my torn copy of The Collected Works of Edgar Allan Poe: Volume I - Poems. I know each word like the back of my hand, letting them take over my intrusive and unwanted thoughts.