"Two gals, chilling in a lockdown, six feet apart 'cause they're not gay!" Iris sang playfully as stood six feet away from Storm.
"Iris. We are gay," Storm rolled her eyes. "We've been together for like five years."
"No, you are gay," Iris replied smugly. "I'm bi!"
Storm gave Iris another withering look in response.
"Ok, ok, fine, I see your point," Iris laughed. Even though Storm was trying to look annoyed, she could not fool Iris. Iris knew that underneath her disapproving expression, she was just as amused by the Gen Z meme humor as Iris was.
"It's just that any other variation on the vine isn't as funny," she said. "I've tried replacing "gay" with "straight", "stupid" and "sick" and none of it ever sounds as right as "gay". Besides, again, I'm bi, so the vine can still apply to me!" Then she repeated the stupid little tune, but with one more word change. "Two gals, chilling in a lockdown, six feet apart 'cause I'm not gay!" and she looked quite proud of herself.
"Well, the first-person sounds clunky," Storm was half-joking and half-serious as she said this.
"Yeah, I know," Iris admitted. "But saying "Two gals, chilling in a lockdown, six feet apart 'cause one's not gay!" doesn't sound right either."
"No, it doesn't," Storm agreed, getting genuinely invested in the conversation despite her earlier reservations.
I knew it! Iris thought to herself with a smug smile. Storm did have a more childish side, it just took a bit of work to bring out. But if anyone knew how to bring out Storm's inner child, it was Iris!
So for the next 10 minutes, the pair entered an intense, serious conversation about how best to rewrite the Hot Tub vine only to ultimately decide that "gay" still fit the best.
"Perfect for Pride Month!" Iris joked at last, earning a small huff of laughter from Storm.
"Why don't you sit down?" she asked the smaller, younger woman at last, gesturing back to the seat Iris had been so quick to leave.
"Nuh uh! Social distancing! Gotta stay six feet apart!" Iris teased. Storm gave her a look, but only shook her head in amused exasperation. Even though she'd allowed Iris to drag her into a meme conversation, she wasn't about to let Iris drag her into a debate about whether or not it was safe to sit at the same kitchen table.
ooo
This was far from the first or last time Iris had ever taken the Social Distancing thing to a comical extreme. Instead, she'd jokingly been avoiding Storm for the past couple of weeks, always citing the Six Feet rule every time Storm came too close.
"The power of 'Rona repels you!" she cried dramatically, darting away from Storm before holding her fingers out in a cross shape.
"Iris, we live together!" Storm sighed. "Social distancing only applies to strangers and the general public!"
"That's something only one of the anti-maskers would say!" Iris pretended to gasp in horror.
"Oh, please, don't get me started on those people!" Storm's scoff acquired a new edge. Although she understood why some people disliked masks, to see the extent to which some people would go to avoid them was petty and appalling. Yes, the masks were no fun for anyone. But they were a safety precaution! It wasn't like the mask rule was in place just for funsies!
"Oh, don't worry, I'm not!" Iris said cheerfully, sensing that Storm was getting genuinely annoyed by the thought of anti-maskers. But Iris could understand. Even though she didn't hate them as vehemently as Storm, she certainly held them in high disdain. Yes, the new rules sucked! But everyone had to follow them. It wasn't just a select crowd. They were all in it together!
Furthermore, it was for the good of everyone. It was a safety thing! It was called "being in a society". That meant everyone had to sacrifice a little in order to keep things afloat. It was not asking the people to surrender all of their freedom! After all, Iris knew she was young and healthy enough that she could probably afford to break all the COVID rules. But for the sake of the less fortunate and healthy, she was going to follow all the rules. That was what a society was. It was called "being considerate of other people".
But when it came to social distancing from Storm, Iris just liked to be silly. Any time anyone visited, Iris made sure to make a big scene about not getting too close, giving air-hugs and such. And even to Storm, sometimes, she would use this tactic. But of course, in serious moments, Iris knew when to stop. Now was one of those times. She did not hesitate to walk over to Storm and embrace her, helping her calm back down.
It was a gesture that caught Storm so off guard that she was yanked from her angry thoughts, which was exactly what Iris wanted. Then, once she realized what was happening, Storm couldn't stop a smile and she was quick to return the hug.
"Thanks," she mumbled.
"My pleasure!" Iris replied sweetly, nuzzling adorably into Storm's arms. Storm felt her heart melt a little bit more and she deepened their embrace.
"But you're not social distancing," she teased.
"I'll self-quarantine in my room later," Iris laughed back, still holding tightly to Storm, who was hugging back with the same affection.
ooo
"Iris! What are you doing?" Storm looked up to see Iris hanging from the rafters of the grocery store.
"Social distancing! Six feet apart!" she sang merrily.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Storm buried her face in her hand.
"Well, it's either six feet above or six feet under!" Iris joked down at the exasperated woman.
"How did you even get up there?" Storm demanded, looking back up at Iris.
"Did you seriously just ask me that?" Iris laughed.
Oh right. That. Iris was a half-human, half-alien hybrid. That meant she had certain abilities that most humans lacked. Climbing up grocery store rafters was apparently one of them.
"Can you even get Corona anyway?" Storm asked next.
"Hmmm, you know, I honestly don't know!" Iris replied thoughtfully. "I would assume so, though, because I have gotten human illnesses before."
"Well, I still think you're taking it a bit too far," Storm shook her head and sighed.
"Listen, I know it's slightly more than six feet apart, maybe it's closer to eight, but come on!" Iris pretended to misunderstand Storm.
"That's not what I meant," came the irritable reply, though Iris knew Storm wasn't as mad as she sounded.
"Well, I just wanted to take precautions," Iris replied with a look of mock innocence.
"Fine then," Storm shrugged. "If we're really going to be this serious about staying six feet apart, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Wait. What? No!" Iris let go of the rafters at once, landing gracefully in front of Storm. It was a move no normal human would've been able to pull off, but again, Iris wasn't a normal human.
"I want my cuddles!" she whined. Even through her mask, Storm knew she was pouting.
"Social distancing," Storm snorted as she began to push the cart down the aisle. "Six feet apart!"
"But it's Pride Month! We need our nightly celebrations!" Iris whined and Storm couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter. Even though that was exactly what she had wanted Iris to beg for, actually hearing it was too rich! As was the euphemism she'd used, even though she'd used it before.
"That's what Skype, Zoom, Discord and phone are for," Storm continued to tease. "Virtual reality!"
"Jerk!" Iris cried, but Storm only tossed her head proudly.
"You love me anyway," she insisted in a rather out-of-character display of humor.
"You're right, I do," Iris sighed as she continued to sulk along after Storm. But even though she was pretending to be upset, her heart still skipped a beat as she told Storm that she loved her. It didn't matter how many times she'd said it before, it never got old!
With this fond thought in her head and heart, Iris' pout slowly faded away. She sidled up to Storm and clung to her arm affectionately.
"Six feet or six millimeters?" Storm teased as Iris rested her head on Storm's arm.
"I'm masked," Iris replied.
"I guess I'll allow it this time," Storm snickered.
"Yay!" Iris smiled, nuzzling Storm's arm. The rest of the grocery run was very pleasant (except for the fact that there was still no toilet paper).