Hey guys! Sorry this is kinda late, I used to be updating another story thingy at the same time as this but it's not being updated so regularly anymore so that threw my schedule for this off.
Thank you to Bluestar of Thunderclan and Bilbz for their reviews! And especially thank you Bilbz for noticing the Washington & Crowd part, that totally slipped my radar! I went back and fixed it once I saw your review. I had to admit I was very confused when I first saw it though, had a mini freak out that I an entire part of the original song in rather than the singer allotment. (Ehh who knows what it's technically called but that phrase does the job.)
This song is a little short, but it is what it is. It's based off of Burn, except, well, it's Yearn. Which is primarily because "burn" has already been attributed to The Burning Warriors and so it doesn't quite suit my purposes to reuse the word here in this context. As such, it's been replaced with yearn, which works pretty well in the end.
Time skip summary thing: "Fireheart goes off by himself, upset over his broken relationship with his best friend." So honestly there's not much of a skip, in my mind this takes place almost right after the last song, so basically Bluestar berates him and he just wandered off.
YEARN
[FIREHEART]
I remember the first time you saw me
From the moment I met you
I knew we were benign
You said we were fine
I thought you were mine
Do you know what Ravenpaw said
On the fateful day that I arrived?
He said
"Be careful with Graypaw, yeah
He's great but he always ends up contrived"
You and your words flooded my senses
Your denseness broke all pretenses
Your endless chaffing caused many laughs
We've always been equals
I keep seeing my memories of you and me
I'm search and scanning for answers
Every time
For some kind of sign
Of when you stopped being mine
And I can't help but
Yearn
Yearn
You played games that made me feel betrayed
But I still didn't tell the world how you made
Silverstream into your wife
In protecting your name, I have ruined my life
Do you know what Yellowfang said
When I came to her after our fight?
She said
"I don't know what happened, love
But the spite between you does not seem right."
You and your dreams, obsessed with Silverstream
Your sentences border on senseless
And you've been paranoid in every paragraph
Hoping the Clan believes you
You, you, you…
I'm erasing myself from your narrative
Let the legacies wonder how Fireheart
Reacted when your charade falls apart
You'll be forced to depart
And I can't help but
Yearn
I can't help but yearn
Silverstream has no right to your heart
Silverstream has no place in your nest
Please believe that I know what's best
I'm yearning for remedies
Yearning for memories that might one day retrieve you
You must forfeit her rights to your heart
You must forfeit her place in your nest
You must put this fantasy to rest
And remember the memories
Of when you were fine
It's best if you yearn
Once again, can't say I have much to say overall.
Just one line that I can think to comment on: [FIREHEART] And remember the memories / Of when you were fine I like how this applies to different circumstances depending on how you look at it. From Fireheart's perspective, "fine" is before Graystripe fell in love with Silverstream, but from Graystripe's perspective it's more of Fireheart telling to him to give up Silverstream live with the few memories they've made.
I still like the idea of taking very soft "feminine" parts and then throwing them at the guys... It's not such a strong contrast as in Say No To This, but still! It exists.
In general here, the main challenge for this song was really trying to take out some of the paragraphs / words / sentences stuff, because while in the actual show it's clever of Eliza to be referring to Hamilton's nonstop writing, it really doesn't make much sense for Graystripe. Not only is he not an avid writer, but he's not been shown to be particularly witty with words - at least, not in the sort of ways that the song would imply.
If I had to choose a favorite line from all of these, I think I'd go with: [FIREHEART] Your denseness broke all pretenses It just makes me laugh a little. Of course I also appreciate the litter internal rhyme I added with this other line: [FIREHEART] You and your dreams, obsessed with Silverstream I like it especially because it's more difficult to rhyme with the warrior names, and they're just chunky because of all their syllables, so it's nice to actually have a name work out in my favor.
And I guess one more line that makes me think of something would be: [FIREHEART] Silverstream has no right to your heart / Silverstream has no place in your nest / Please believe that I know what's best and the matching/responding [FIREHEART] You must forfeit her rights to your heart / You must forfeit her place in your nest / You must put this fantasy to rest simply because Fireheart still needs to become a little less anti- Silverstream and Graystripe's relationship before he and are going to be able to become friends again. Things will get a lot easier for them once Fireheart accepts that they're not going to back off and stops actively trying to separate them.
Thank you for all the kind reviews, they really make my day! I love hearing what you all think and knowing that people are enjoying these little parodies.
