Hello, all! Welcome to Chapter 19 of Frozen Heart. This chapter kind of takes it easy compared to the last one, as it focuses heavily on the complex relationship with Lydia and her mother. Still, it was enjoyable to write, and I hope you enjoy it too!

Thanks again to the guest reviewer for the kind review! And no worries - I didn't take offense or anything. I totally understand, and just wanted to assure you that we would be getting more answers very soon! Speak of the devil, we get a little bit of background in this very chapter.

Thanks so much for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own FFXV.

Chapter 19: The Curse of the Half-Goddess

"I'm wondering if maybe we overdid it a bit," Lydia murmured as she trudged through nearly a foot of snow, the fresh white powder seeping through her shoes and the fabric of her clothes. She wasn't shivering or in pain, but the wind and ice blowing at her face relentlessly did start to grate on her after a while. She must have asked her Mother if she was going the right way at least twenty times. Eventually, Gentiana stopped answering her.

Lydia walked for at least an hour or two before the snow under her feet began to disappear. As the weather began to improve, she also realized that the sky was growing darker. Night was nearly upon them, and Lydia had no place to go.

She continued walking until the storm finally subsided, and only a few traces of snow fluttered in the air and on the ground. The temperature rose, which Lydia lamented—she preferred the cold to the heat, even though she wasn't a fan of the heavy snow and wind.

Luckily, it didn't take long for her to find the road. While walking beside a highway put her at greater risk in some ways, she felt it was more foolish at this point to risk getting lost in the wilderness after dark. Especially when she had no possessions.

And so she kept going. She started to get a better idea of her location by looking at signs while she walked past. It seemed she was still in Duscae and heading west—although still a long way off from Lestallum. She would likely find a few rest areas located beside the road eventually, but on foot, it was still no easy trek.

Crossing her arms with disgust, Lydia whispered to her Mother, "Couldn't you just phase me to the nearest point of civilization or something?"

No answer. Did Gentiana already abandon her?

A few moments later, Lydia thought she heard the faint sound of a motor behind her. When she turned about, she saw a bus approaching at high speed. She moved to the side so she wouldn't get smushed, expecting it to zoom right by. But much to her surprise, it came to a screeching halt just a few feet away from her.

Sounds like your bus needs to be serviced, sir.

When the door opened, she saw a small, elderly man sitting in the driver's seat. "Now," he said slowly while twisting both hands around the steering wheel. "I don't usually pick up people on the side of the road—especially not this late in the evening. But you look like you could use some help, Miss."

She glanced down at her disheveled form and laughed weakly. "You noticed?"

"Care to join us?"

"I don't have any money," she said with a shrug.

But the old man waved his hand dismissively and told her, "As long as you're going this way, you're good to go."

Wow. Talk about a lucky break.

"I really appreciate it," she said, placing her hand on the railing to step into the vehicle. "Maybe just drop me off at the nearest rest area?"

He nodded and then jutted his head to the back. "Your friend is waiting for you."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "My... friend?" When she turned her head, she saw a familiar black-haired woman with snow-white skin sitting in one of the center seats. She seemed to take no notice of Lydia's existence, instead staring out the window into the wilderness. Lydia walked past a few other passengers before plopping herself down into the same seat as Gentiana. "Did you bring him here?" she asked, figuring there was no point in dancing around the subject.

Gentiana turned her head slowly and granted Lydia with a warm smile. "No—I simply found a road vessel taking this route and asked kindly if he would stop for a friend who had called me for help. He's had a rather difficult afternoon thanks to the snow storm—so I compensated him well for his services."

Lydia scoffed. "Well, there you have it. I knew no one could be that generous. What, can Gods just magic themselves money these days?"

Gentiana didn't seem to find it amusing. "I live as a human now, so I am—in fact—employed. If that is what you'd like to call it."

Somehow, Lydia couldn't imagine her Mother working a day in her life. At least not any normal job.

But before she had the chance to respond, a voice on the radio caught her attention: "Today, an inexplicable snow storm—yes, you heard that right—a snow storm, formed over southern Duscae and covered what appeared to be a thirty-mile radius. No one knows what caused this strange phenomenon just yet, but we'll provide live updates as new details become available."

Lydia cleared her throat and sunk deep into the seat. "Yep..." she murmured. "We definitely overdid it."

"I do not expect it will have any long-term effects," Gentiana said softly. "The ecosystem will adjust, as will its people."

"Whatever you say," Lydia mumbled, not convinced.

"On another matter—" Gentiana said. "Now that you are out of harm's way, I'm quite... curious about Ardyn. Why is he chasing you?"

Lydia shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Respectfully, Mother, why are you making it sound like this is my fault?"

"Ardyn Izunia is cold, calculating, and precise," she said in a quiet tone. "He never acts without purpose. I'm placing no blame, only seeking to understand."

"I honestly don't know," Lydia said. "In any case, I don't think I'm the one who should be having to explain herself right now."

A moment of silence passed between them as Gentiana's usual air of authority and grace seemed to falter. Something else glistened in the Goddess's eyes just then, but Lydia couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

After giving Lydia her full attention, Gentiana gave a soft smile and said, "What would you like to ask me?"

Lydia straightened her back, surprised to find it was that easy. Her Mother was often notorious for being coy and indirect, even when it came to matters of the heart. Of course, just because she was accepting questions didn't mean she would answer them clearly.

There was no harm in trying, however. She had come this far, and more than once she had nearly given up hope of finding her Mother.

"Well, for starters, you could tell me where you've been," Lydia said. "I've been looking for you for years."

"I believe I said I was employed," Gentiana told her. "I have a responsibility to fulfill as Messenger—the Lady Lunafreya depends on me."

Lydia sucked in a breath and fell back against the seat as Gentiana's words sank in. Lunafreya...

"You entered a covenant," she whispered, reaching into her pocket. The Astral Coin was still there, as small and unassuming as ever. And yet—it had led her exactly where she wanted to go. She would never doubt it again.

"The moment she touched you—and vowed not to leave you," Gentiana said, reaching down to gently place her hand atop Lydia's. "I felt you both call to me. I knew you needed my help."

Lydia almost felt moved, but then remembered... Sure, but you also let me get totally owned by Ardyn first.

"So all this time, you've been with her," Lydia said. "What, making sure she fulfills her destiny, or whatever?"

"Her role is essential to guide the chosen king to his rightful place on the throne."

Lydia huffed. "Honestly, sounds like a pretty dismal existence to me. Living only for someone else."

Gentiana's eyes narrowed, as if in disapproval of Lydia's response. "There is more at stake than you know," she said softly.

"Oh, I know very well what's at stake," Lydia said with a dark laugh. "I was there when the Scourge first hit, remember? When you and the other Astrals went to sleep, I was the one left to pick up the pieces of humanity. And it didn't go that well for me." When her Mother didn't answer, she added, "I'm sorry. I just... it would have been nice if you'd reached out—at least let me know where you were. Not knowing has been the hardest."

Once again, Lydia was left with silence. And it irritated the crap out of her. "You're so difficult," she whispered in spite of herself.

"Perhaps we should wait and take this discussion elsewhere," Gentiana finally said. "Somewhere with fewer ears to listen in on us."

Lydia, who felt well aware that she was acting like a child, simply folded her arms and murmured, "Sure," before going quiet.

Some time later, the driver finally stopped to let Lydia and Gentiana exit the bus. The stop wasn't part of his normal route, but apparently Gentiana had sweet-talked him enough that he was willing to make an exception. Lydia warily looked around for Niflheim scum—or worse, Ardyn—when she moved under the streetlight outside the nearby gas station.

But it appeared they were safe for the time being. "Well, what now?" she whispered, holding her arms close to her as she glanced over at the motel across the street. Gods, she could use a shower and a solid rest.

She felt a light hand touch her arm. "What's stopping you, Love?"

"Well, I don't exactly have any way to pay for a room," Lydia said with a laugh.

Gentiana's eyebrows furrowed, and Lydia watched curiously reached behind herself and pulled out a familiar bag. "Perhaps you have the funds in this?"

Lydia blinked. "How... what?" She reached for it and looked inside, only to see that everything was completely dry and intact. She thought it was gone for good. "I take back what I said," she murmured. "You're amazing."

Gentiana slowly folded her hands behind her back and began walked toward the motel. "What sort of Goddess would I be if I couldn't perform miracles every now and again?"

See? Coy as hell.

Lydia took it without complaint and pulled out her wallet, glad to see she had enough gil for a room. The woman at the desk grinned as she walked up. "Hi, there! Would you like a room for the night?"

"Very much, yes," Lydia said.

The woman nodded as Lydia counted her gil. "Just one, then?"

"Actually—" she began, turning around to ask her Mother if she'd like to stay. But when she searched for Gentiana under the flickering outdoor lights, she saw nothing.

"Are... you all right, Miss?"

A lump in her throat formed as Lydia slowly turned her head back around to stare at the woman behind the counter—who looked a little uncomfortable, but probably didn't want to be impolite.

Lydia set the required amount of gil on the counter and slid it toward her. "Just one."

Unease washed over Lydia on the way to her room, and she kept glancing behind her to make sure she was still alone. Where did Gentiana go? Would she be safe here? Perhaps it was too much of a risk, with Ardyn after her. The last thing she wanted was to put anyone in danger unnecessarily. She didn't care to go around helping everyone, but she didn't want to hurt them either. That's not who she was, anymore.

Nevertheless, Lydia locked herself in her room, hoping that she would be able to secure at least a shower and a few hours of sleep before taking off. It seemed that now she was back to square one, and she still had to find a way to Altissia.

Just as she let out a sigh of relief thinking she was alone, Lydia turned away from the door to her room and saw none other than Gentiana perched gracefully on one of the beds. She didn't make a sound, but it gave Lydia quite the start—and before realizing who she was looking at, she gasped and blasted her Mother with ice magic. The Goddess held up her hand at the last second to absorb it. The magic zapped straight into her fingertips, leaving not a trace of it to damage her or the room.

"Excellent control, despite your panicked state," Gentiana commented in a hushed tone.

Lydia, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less about her attempt at a compliment. Instead, she clutched her chest over her pounded heart and said, "Please don't do that! I've had a rough day, and I don't think my body can handle any more."

Gentiana paused for a moment to glance over Lydia, then gestured to the bath. "Why don't you go wash up? Then we can talk if you wish."

She couldn't deny that she was itching to feel clean and to soak her painful scrapes, burns, and bruises. But still.

"And you'll still be there when I come out?"

"Of course, Darling," she said with a smile.

Lydia had no real reason not to trust her Mother's word. She wouldn't have admitted in at the time, but the truth was that she simply didn't want to be left here alone. Not to mention she'd finally found her Mother after decades of searching. She wasn't keen to lose her again so soon.

But the allure of a hot shower was too strong, and it overpowered any other uncertainties Lydia had. She breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped under the water, letting it run over her sore limbs and aching muscles. She had only been on the run for about two days, but somehow it felt like it had been so much longer. Perhaps that's because of everything that had happened.

When Lydia was finally finished in the bathroom, she came back out to find Gentiana peeking out the windowwith her fingers pulling back the curtain just slightly. "You checking to make sure no one's after us?" Lydia asked, going over to the mirror to ruffle her damp hair.

"It will take Ardyn Izunia some time to track you here," Gentiana said. "Even he is not strong enough to battle nature itself. It is why he still fears us."

"Us?"

"The Gods."

Lydia gave a short nod and then collapsed onto one of the beds, settling onto her back and locking her fingers behind her head. "For the record, I really don't know why he's after me," she said dully. "I assume it isn't a personal thing—after all, I erased his memories. Our relationship is over."

Gentiana let go of the curtain and turned to Lydia with a confused expression on her otherwise flawless face. "I'm sorry?"

Lydia frowned. Shiva wasn't the first Goddess not to know what she was talking about when she referred to her relationship with Ardyn. "I kind of thought the Crystal kept you guys in touch with—everything."

"We are not truly all-seeing," Gentiana said. "We share the memories of the Crystal, which watches over the Royal Family and the mortals and events that surround it."

Pressing her lips together, Lydia said, "Yeah, but... okay, well—that's weird." Although she couldn't exactly complain that her Mother hadn't been spying on her when she was with Ardyn. If those memories really were hers and hers alone—she couldn't help but find some comfort in it, regardless of the reason.

"In any case," she continued, "I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. We apparently both had relationships with good guys who turned bad and started killing everyone. How's that for history repeating itself?"

When she gave Gentiana a short summary of her relationship with Ardyn as well as a rundown of the events of the last few days before the meeting with Lunafreya, the Goddess looked—horrified for some reason. Was it fear, or disgust, or something else entirely? Lydia couldn't quite decide.

"Anyway," she murmured, "I'm on the run because I need to get to Altissia. I don't know what his game is, but Ardyn says—well, he claims he'll let me live if I can make it there. He said he'll make an offer... I can't refuse."

"And you trust his word?" Gentiana asked.

"Well, I don't have much choice, do I? If I refuse to play his game, he'll kill me. And then I'm back to square one."

"Heed what I tell you, Astra—Ardyn was a good man once, but that man is dead. He is not but a shadow of his former self, and he will destroy you without question if it helps him achieve his ends. I would not be too eager comply with his demands. Perhaps... there's another way."

Lydia laughed, pulling herself back up into a sitting position. "What other way? You can't kill him any more than I can."

"You put yourself at greater risk by—"

"No offense, Mother," Lydia interrupted, not raising her voice but maintaining a hard look so Gentiana knew she was serious. "I appreciate you helping me. So much. But I've been taking care of myself for a very long time without you. I don't need you coming here and judging me on how I choose to deal with my own problems. Especially after all this time. I know what Ardyn is. I'm taking my shot because it's the only one I have."

Gentiana's eyes grew surprisingly sad as Lydia spoke—and once she was finished, her Mother admitted, "I wanted to be there for you."

Lydia didn't answer. Truthfully, she didn't know what to say.

So Gentiana continued. "After my Astral form was destroyed by the Empire, I... lost my powers. Since that time, I have remained in this form—as a Messenger alongside the Lady Lunafreya. My powers slowly return. I can transcend space and time, but I am still not strong enough to resume my spiritual form. I know you are strong and capable, Astra—I felt my days would be better spent toward something greater. Toward saving us all."

"How did you even wake up, anyway?" Lydia asked. "And why go after Niflheim?"

They seemed simple enough questions to Lydia at first. But much to her surprise, Gentiana hesitated. For a moment, it was also as though she was debating whether to answer the questions at all. But finally, she opened her mouth and said, "The Empire has grown arrogant. Seeking to control the power of Gods and the daemons. Humanity's greed is a plague that spreads faster than the scourge itself. I thought—if I could snuff it out, the world might be more protected. Instead... I was defeated." Then, we a tiny smile, she whispered, "Imagine. There was a time I would have been ashamed to suffer defeat at the hands of humanity. Now, I feel only heartbreak."

"Sometimes, I think this world is beyond saving," Lydia said quietly.

"But you don't truly believe that," Gentiana said.

The young woman sighed. She supposed she couldn't expect her Mother to understand how she felt. There was no one who could. "I don't know. I've met a handful of beautiful, amazing humans over the years—but they're like diamonds in a mine filled with sharp rocks. I have found that it is not kindness that spreads. But hatred and suffering.

"Which... actually, I'm exhausted, but there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

Gentiana waited patiently, so Lydia moved on with her request. "Mother, I... for more than two thousand years, I've lived with this curse. This endless cycle of reincarnation and death. This body cannot hold me for extrended periods of time. I rarely live past 50, and I can't have close relationships because—everyone just leaves and I have to start all over again. I want to be like you and the other Astrals. I can't bear being stuck in between anymore, and I just need to know if... if you know of some way to break this spell so I can be free. There has to be something."

Lydia clasped her hands together, hoping her Mother could provide some answer or comfort. But instead, the Goddess lowered her gaze and shook her head gently. "I fear I have no information or capability that would free you, Astra."

And just like that, all of Lydia's hopes shattered. She'd thought, even if her Mother couldn't break the curse herself, that she would at least have some inkling or insight to offer. But she gave her nothing. Absolutely nothing. And not for the first time, Lydia considered the possibility that the Curse of the Half-Goddess would continue for eternity.

"But you're a Goddess," Lydia said. "Couldn't you... even...?"

Gentiana shook her head again. "A curse is something intimate and powerful that can only be weakened or altered by the one who cast it—or the one it was cast upon."

Instead of replying, Lydia pushed herself off the bed and walked over to the end of the room, hoping to ease the raging storm inside that would likely cause her to explode on Gentiana if she spoke. It was a long moment before she could fully let Gentiana's words sink in. And throwing up her hands in defeat, she murmured, "So it's hopeless, then."

"You twist my words, Astra," Gentiana said.

A humorless laugh burst from Lydia's lips. "Oh, really? Mom, you have—you have no idea what I've put myself through trying to break this curse. I've tried to find ways to retain memories in between my lives, I've tried finding backdoors into the Beyond and the Afterlife, I've tracked down witches and warlocks who are experts in this kind of thing. Do you know where everything has led? A dead end."

"No curse is unbreakable," Gentiana told her gently. "My lack of answers does not mean no answers exist."

"Well, I mean, Ifrit is out," Lydia said with a shrug. "He's under Ardyn's thumb, and even if he could, I don't think he'd help me. Do you know what he said years ago, when I begged him to free me? He looked me in the eye and said, 'You deserve this.'"

Gentiana's eyes were pained, but she said nothing. And Lydia, who was now holding back tears, said in a quieter tone, "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to get involved in your feud with Ifrit. You have a one-night stand with a human, and instead of just taking it up with you like a normal guy, he decides to punish you by punishing me. Sure, it's effective, but—do you know what it's like to be punished for just existing?"

"Darling..." Gentiana whispered, shaking her head before stepping closer to Lydia with an outreached hand.

However, not wanting to be comforted, Lydia stepped away. "I'm fine," she muttered, blinking away droplets from her eyelashes. Then, clearing her throat and looking back at her Mother with more conviction, she said, "I'm just disappointed is all. I hoped for better."

A heavy silence fell between them, and Lydia could feel the distance between herself and Gentiana like a tangible thing. As if it was something she could feel crawling across her skin or taste on her tongue. She couldn't quite explain it—just how far away she felt. Perhaps it was because they were so different, or because Gentiana could never truly understand her struggles. Gentiana had spent enough time among humans that she'd picked up some of their emotions—but the way she felt things and expressed those feelings wasn't the same. Gods and humans were still beyond one another's full understanding. Perhaps they always would be.

But today, it seemed as though Gentiana wasn't giving up. After a moment of complete silence, she spoke. "Astra... I may not have the solutions you seek, but I may be able to help you find them."

Lydia raised her head, a little flicker of hope igniting inside her. "You'll help me?" she asked, not quite daring to believe maybe something could change after all.

Gentiana nodded. "I will help you gain your freedom, my child. And we will at last be a true family." Then, she added the caveat. "But before we start, we have another task at hand."

Lydia raised an eyebrow, wondering what Gentiana could possibly want from her. "What's that?"

"We ensure the King takes his throne, Astra," Mother said. "And put an end to the Usurper once and for all."

So I know Gentiana/Shiva isn't 100% in character here based on the game. But Lydia is her daughter after all, and I thought it made sense to make her just a little more relatable and tangible. I also took some liberties with the lore surrounding her form as Gentiana and whatnot, so I hope that doesn't bother anyone.

I thought about adding some other stuff in this chapter, but after writing all of this, it just seemed to make more sense to let it stand as it's own thing. Lydia and her Mom have a lot to unpack, and this definitely isn't the last of it. In the near future, we'll be finding out more about what Gentiana wants from Lydia, and perhaps she'll help her FINALLY find a way to Altissia as well. We're also going to be getting a pretty significant Ardyn/Lydia flashback, as well as some important stuff with Noctis and Luna. So stay tuned!