A/N: Hey all! I'm considering uploading more frequently because so many people are on quarantine now. This story is written up pretty far ahead of where we are, so if you're up for that, let me know in a review, and I'll prioritize uploading every two or three days until we're about caught up to where I'm writing, instead of my irregular chapters. I'm not on quarantine, because my job is part of emergency services, but if this is helping anybody get through their isolation boredom, I'm happy to up the pace. Hope you all enjoy!
Peace filled the halls of the ship as Takasugi sat at the kitchen island. Across from him, Matako and Kawakami were busy murmuring and patching each other up. He was left with Kinu. After stripping his yukata to the waist, she was painfully silent. Not above treating him, though. The girl dabbed at his chest with an astringent soaked cotton swab, and he suppressed a sigh. His back had been less awkward, but now that he was faced with the girl he was all too aware that she was avoiding eye contact at all cost.
Kinu hadn't said a word to him since he'd come in.
Kawakami had given Takasugi an earful. Kept saying that he should have known better, and that he should have just done it himself. Time had flown by as they had their encounter, and somehow, when they returned to the living quarters most of the pieces in the boiler room had been welded in place.
Again, he glanced at Kinu. Leaned up as she laced a roll of medical tape around his back and over his shoulder. She was stuck with them. Rather, he was stuck with her.
High above ground, with no way to escape the ship.
It probably wasn't the best time to talk.
"Kinu-chan, you did well today. Is the engine room stable?" Kawakami spoke across the room, and without looking at him, Kinu tucked the wrap in her hands under itself.
"Hm."
Both Matako and the deaf man stared at her. Waited for an actual answer. It was a yes. Takasugi heard it. He didn't know if they had.
"We probably won't dock again for the entire night." Matako stated. No response came back, and Kawakami picked up where she left off.
"There's a spare room in our hall. We have plenty of extra sheets, so it's no problem if..."
"Hm."
They should have just given up while they could. Nothing was getting her to talk, and the longer the duo sat there, looking around the room, the more silent the ship became.
She was so upset that she wasn't even going to stay in the same room as him? He didn't even know where to start. What could he possibly say to her?
It was only one guy. Was that so much to ask? It wasn't like the man had been innocent. He'd expected better of her. She couldn't be soft forever, not if she was going to survive. Still, as she unraveled the wraps around his eye, and ran a cloth over his face, the ever growing cloud of whatever emotion she was bottling up loomed overhead.
Kinu wiped his face down, looking through him more than at him, but she'd taken great care to touch as lightly as possible, so not to irritate his injuries. A short examination followed. Kinu checked his other shoulder, his thighs, and as Takasugi motioned to her, she kneeled at his chair.
"That's all, I'm fine."
The girl uncovered his knee. Frowned at him. Okay, that was trivial, though. Takasugi wasn't going to die of a scraped knee. Kinu, on the other hand, thought it would be the final nail in his coffin. His bit his tongue. Let her have her way with treating every little thing she could find, and he was half convinced she'd tackle him over a paper cut if he shrugged it off.
She wrapped a clean layer of gauze around his head; careful not to pinch his hair, and though he hadn't asked her to, he wouldn't stop her. When she reached for his hand again, aiming for his split nail, her wrist was seized.
"You gonna put me in a full body cast? It's fine."
"Hn." What was with that attitude?! Setting the gauze beside the man, she abandoned her post. He could have sworn she rolled her eyes, but Kinu rounded the counter for the kitchen. Takasugi didn't turn back to her, but could hear containers and bags being laid out across the cooking space.
How was he supposed to take a bath if she was wrapping him from head to toe in new bandages?! Did she expect him to go from killing to sleeping that quickly?! With nothing in between?!
"Shinsuke, it seems our plan has been foiled."
Nodding in agreement with Kawakami, Matako pushed herself to her feet. She joined Takasugi at the barstools against the island.
"Yeah. Seemed like a Bakufu set up, without all the elite crap… What now, Shinsuke-sama?" The woman looked directly at him, and he kept his eye fixed across the room.
"They're not gonna let him out of their sight any time soon. It's probably best to cut our losses. Until they slip up again... There's only one person I can think of that could have leaked our intentions."
Matako turned back as something hit the counter behind them.
"Ah- thank you." The woman kept her voice low, as if an afterthought, but turned back with a bowl of sake. Takasugi frowned over his shoulder. Found one filled bowl waiting for him, but Kinu was already at Kawakami's side, pouring one for him. It seemed a natural position for her. Background service, sitting with her legs tucked under herself to pour with the utmost formality despite their settings.
Or maybe she just knew everything had gone wrong. Kawakami had murmured something to her, too low to hear, and she nodded. Then she returned to her silent post. Was listening in as she sifted through her chopped vegetables, and set the rice cooker up.
"The deal is obviously off. But we'll tell him that in person." The man murmured, and Matako inclined her chin.
"We should be careful though. If he's the one that did this, he's probably thinking the same thing." She added, and a collective sigh ran through the room. "We got lucky today. Kinu if you hadn't been here to manually start the ship, who knows how that could have turned out. I guess you're kind of useful after all. Even though the ship being down was sort of your fault to begin with."
"Hm... A whole half a compliment. What an honor."
"Hey, I was being nice." The woman said, turning back, and Kinu kept her attention on the cucumber she was slicing. Was blank faced as ever.
"Leave me alone." There was no audible sting to the words, but Matako clicked her teeth. The smell of meat filled the air, and a pan sizzled behind Takasugi. He had to approach her, right? Make everything fine again. With the turn of events, if everything worked out, nobody would be trying to take her. It was the perfect opportunity in disguise. Amagi would be out of the picture, and while that was only a small detail, he wouldn't have to think about her being stuffed in a bag and hauled off to the north pole. Placed under some other man's tree.
On her feet, Matako stretched and her wrapped stomach arched as she walked to the doorway.
"I know you're upset, but we're still on for tonight. After dinner. And tomorrow, Bansai-senpai and I will be the best guests you've ever had."
Kinu didn't respond. Kawakami was the next to push himself to his feet. He snagged the bottle from behind Takasugi, murmuring as he did.
"We'll be in my room. If you need us."
Barely meeting the man's gaze, Takasugi leaned up.
They were leaving him alone with her? Weren't even going to try to smooth things over for him?! Some friends they were! What was he supposed to say to Kinu?
"Uh, don't you… wanna talk about the thing?"
"The thing?" Kawakami echoed, brow raised. "Oh, no. I think you already know what I think of the thing. Maybe other people should give you their opinions."
Glaring at the deaf man, Takasugi watched him walk to the doorway. Saw that stupid grin he'd donned. All Kawakami had told him was that he truly was awful with women. As if it needed confirmation.
Moments passed, and Takasugi kept his back against the island counter. The only smooth exit was leaving. Without speaking. That would probably make things worse. Alone, he finally turned towards Kinu. She was slicing a carrot into sticks. Kept her attention on her knife work.
The girl didn't move when he slid behind her; arms snaking around her torso.
"What are you making?"
"Food." Kinu turned. Broke away from him as she carried her bowl of chopped vegetables to the opposite counter and left him there. "At least, that's what us humans call it."
He glared after her and the first pangs of irritation set over Takasugi as Kinu clicked the flame on, and turned it to low. She didn't have a right to be angry. He hadn't actually done anything to her. Kinu was perfectly capable of killing that man, and they both knew it. She'd killed before. There was hardly a difference.
"Give me a break, you hardly meet the qualifications. For anything, at that." A pair of sharp blue eyes met the man, and he held them. Wasn't willing to break contact and let her think she'd won any dominance game, no matter how small. "But me; I actually have a place, and connections. Unlike some people that need to beg for whatever scraps of contact they can get."
The usual graveyard face before him hardened. Kinu finally averted her gaze. Gave him his small victory as she filled a sauce pan with various liquids and seasonings.
"I don't care what you think of me." She muttered,. Her spoon swirled around the pot, and she tapped it on the metal rim before setting it down. "I'll sleep somewhere else tonight. Stay there until you dock... Gin-chan was right."
Simple irritation transformed in the pit of Takasugi's stomach until all he had was a bitter taste in the back of his mouth, and a twisting, tightly coiled ball of wrath.
"Good. One less thing to waste my time. Maybe we can make it fun and decorate the room with some nice comfy padding. Give you a cute white coat, and some jello."
Again, Kinu turned to the man. Scowled.
"If anybody needs a psych ward it's you! That guy had a family! He-"
"Everybody has a family!" Cutting her off, Takasugi took a step towards Kinu. "They choose their paths, just like you and me, and if they make the decision to put their lives on the front lines, they're not thinking about their cozy little families or their white picket fences!"
"Spoken like a true scumbag!" Kinu slapped the spoon onto the counter, and spat the words back with as much venom as she could muster. Instead of abandoning his post, Takasugi picked up as quickly as she'd gotten the words out of her mouth.
"Every man on this ship knows he's going to die! Me! Bansai! Every single person! And you know what the difference is between you and us?"
Crossing her arms, Kinu rolled her eyes. She wasn't doing this. She just wanted to get the night over with, hit land, and scrub her mind clean of everything to do with Takasugi, his stupid Kiheitai, and their immoral bullshit.
"We actually have a purpose! We're choosing to throw away our lives, for something useful! Important! We don't just sit around, rotting away, wasting space, and carving ourselves up like last night's leftover chicken because daddy didn't hug us enough!"
Just fucking rich. That was just great. Chicken sounded perfect right now. He could go choke on a two by four for all she cared.
"Spare me the fucking details. I don't care." The girl slapped her hands across the knobs of the stove. Twisted them off. She turned on her heel, and stormed towards the door, but Takasugi had her by the back of her shirt; some abrasive tanktop she hadn't been wearing before.
"Don't- you wanted a fight, here it is!"
Swiveling around, Kinu smacked the hand from her back.
"I'd rather lobotomize myself with a dull pencil. Or you."
"Great, I'll do it for you! Right after I grab the tiny violin!"
"Don't patronize me!" Kinu snapped. "I was fine before you, and I'll be fine after you! While you're getting yourself killed, I'll get one of those stupid white picket fences, and I'll make a family that's better than your suicidal emo cult and we won't kill people! And whoever I do it with won't be an arrogant manipulative gay bastard! Cook your own dinner!"
Why was he gay again?! She was grasping at straws now, trying to think of more things to piss him off. It was working.
"What?! No, you're gay! And emo!" Takasugi turned the tables with a classy "no, you", and Kinu gasped up at him; clutching her heart.
"I'm not emo!"
"You totally are! Look at the hair, and the weird fucking eye! And the cutting! You're more emo than anybody else! The queen of emos!"
"Oi, I didn't make my eye! And you leave my hair out of this! My hair is cute!
"Like a funeral! You look like a walking graveyard!" The quip earned a scoff.
"You're the emo one! How often do you actually talk, huh?! You stare at me when I'm sleeping! You just sit around brooding and looking all dark and weird, with your stupid delicatly broken, questionably mended bullshit! I saw your shamisen! You probably use it to play sad music and tear up at the emotional parts!"
"I do not! I play classics! Classics!" Patting his chest, as if defending not only himself, but his ancestors, Takasugi barked back at the girl and she scrunched her face.
"Emo classics! Like the Bloody Parade and the Shattered Road of Hopes!" She declared and Takasugi's jaw dropped.
"You even know their music! You're outing yourself as one of them!"
"Yeah? Well you know it too!"
"You're both emo! Shut up!" Kawakami's voice carried down the hallway, and they set their glares on the open path to the bedrooms. What did he know? He was probably the real emo. Ear splitting silence filled the kitchen, and they glared at one another. Waited for another petty jab and defence operation, but when neither spoke, they drifted away. Eyes down, Kinu passed Takasugi and went to the stove. Turned it back on.
"I mean, it's not all bad…" The man started, and Kinu followed up.
"Yeah. Yeah…" She kept her voice low. Focused on the heating pan. Could almost feel the man getting closer. "I prefer heavier stuff though… It takes a certain kind of mood-"
"Of course, it's just not a sustainable genre. It's more transitional, and lacks the emotional depth to truly satisfy needs."
"Exactly. Maybe once in a while is fine and you're not an emo, but if it's more than a few times a week then you definitely are."
Nodding, Takasugi looked over Kinu's shoulder as she turned off the warming function of the rice cooker.
"I could see that." He agreed, and Kinu glanced back at him, lips pursed. Another moment passed without speaking. "Uh… what are you wearing?" He was an idiot. Why couldn't he think of anything else to say?
"Mm?" Kinu turned back to him, and one hand slid down the side of her pink shorts as she briefly examined them. As if she suddenly realized the clothing change, and was just as surprised as him.
"Why are you confused? You put them on, right?"
"Matako-chan said I could sleep in these."
Matako's? Takasugi didn't remember those shorts, but as he looked at them he thought there was something to be thankful for in the world.
He'd order two hundred pairs. In purple if she was wearing colors now. Maybe one in blue or emerald green. Then he looked at her legs. The lack of wraps.
"You stained my school shirt." Kinu had returned to flipping the breaded meat she was cooking, essentially ignoring him, and speaking so low it could have been to herself. "And got brains on my skirt…" It didn't sound like much, but the buttons and sleeves were stupid on her other shirts. Either the buttons didn't reach and the sleeves were just right, or they did reach and the sleeves were made to accommodate knuckle draggers. There was no in between.
She set her chopsticks down, and twisted the heat off the back burner. Reached for her sauce reduction to coat the vegetables. Then Takasugi was back; corralling her to the nearest countertop. Because he didn't know when to throw the towel in and leave her be. His eye roved over her again; caught on her shorts. A single finger hooked under the fabric as if she had more leg to offer, and Kinu squinted up at the man.
He couldn't be serious. This wasn't a service station. Kinu wasn't waiting around to indulge his boredom.
Takasugi stared down at the skin under his hand, waiting for the cloaking spell to wear off, or shimmer, or give him some sort of sign that she was doing an incredible job of masking dishonesty.
Healed.
The shorts were true to their name. Maybe too much so. But from what he could see, she was cut free. There were still marks. Dark lines etched into her, long mended, but it was a step in the right direction. Arms crossed, the girl eyed him. Probably knew what he was looking at. Then his eye settled on her arms. Exposed from Matako's stylistic liberties of a tank top, but wrapped.
Kinu smacked his hands he took one into his palm.
"What's wrong with you? Stop."
He couldn't help but frown. So she'd just relocated? Was hiding them? More? Eye locked onto hers, he snatched her arm, and Kinu immediately grabbed his wrist.
"Oi- Stop it-" The man practically clawed through the gauze, bracing himself against the scrambling of Kinu's hands. She tried to keep up with him. Deflected his hand a few times before he got a good grasp on the fabric and pulled it away. She should have known by now that struggling wouldn't accomplish anything. Even if she had been aiming to hurt him, it wouldn't have done her any good. The black wraps dropped to the floor, and Takasugi took her right arm first; bare and solid. Why had it even been covered? That was just misleading.
"You're making this a bigger deal than it is!" The left was plastered against Kinu's chest, and as his fingers coiled around it, she pulled back. "I won't stand for this blatant abuse. I'll report you."
"To who?"
Angling away from the man Kinu scowled.
"Th- there's gotta be… Some kinda committee..."
Takasugi mirrored her expression. Very convincing. Brushing off the words, the man pried her arm away. Kinu followed, and he had to plant a hand on her shoulder to force her away and work it into a position he could see.
There were two lines. Healing. No words, nothing pink.
"What part of leave me alone don't you-" His mouth was on hers.
Pushing against the man's chest, Kinu tried to turn her head. Raised her jaw but Takasugi's mouth simply moved to her neck, then found her lips again. Unable to escape, Kinu did the only thing she could think. Her palm swept across his cheek, and he finally released her. "You're way out of line! I haven't forgiven you in the slightest!"
"What?! We had a moment!"
"There wasn't a moment! You imagined it! It was all in your dumb head!" No he hadn't! He'd seen that stupid look! It was the emo music! She liked it and he'd said it wasn't awful, Kinu knew it was a moment! Hadn't she seen how accommodating and reasonable he was?! "You think you can just dangle yourself in front of me like a fucking carrot? I'm not biting! I'm not some puppet waiting for you to tug on my strings, I don't need this! I was fine before you!"
Glaring at the girl, Takasugi felt at his cheek. Again!? Seriously?! She was literally the only person that had the nerve to hit him like that. He'd never actually been slapped in his life by a woman before her, and he was stuck somewhere between undying offense and knowing that she deserved some sort of credit for having the audacity to not only think it but execute the command.
"If anyone is abusive it's you! You just gonna keep slapping me every time you slightly disagree? Is this something I should be prepared for every time you start eating pocky?!"
"Slightly disagree?! You're the worst! I don't kill defenseless men, Shinsuke! You had no right; putting me in that position!" Shoving the man back, Kinu cut the heat to the stovetop. She slammed the bowl of vegetables beside it, and took the glaze she'd made. Poured it in as the man glared at her profile. After giving the bowl a vigorous stir with her chopsticks, Kinu took a towel. Wiped her hands out of habit, as if they needed it. "You know I go along with damn near everything you say- or is it everything? Have I ever actually said no to you? Ever?!"
The towel slapped into Tagasugi's chest and he caught it.
"Fuck you, Shinsuke! Fuck you! You tried to take advantage of me. And I almost listened to you! Isolating me like it was an initiation; I don't care what you think, I'm not one of you! I may not care about this stupid country, but at least when I kill somebody they deserve it!"
"He deserved it! He came onto my ship, trying to kill my men! Nobody forced him! Don't act like you're better than me! Look at yourself!"
"I don't need to! I'm not a self righteous asshole that thinks he can decide who deserves to live and doesn't! I don't need to use dirty tricks to get what I want, or humiliate people to feel better about myself or my shitty life! I am better-" Kinu started to continue, but her voice was muffled with his mouth, and when her palm raised a second time it was forcefully pinned against the cabinets. She was back against the counter. Scooped up, and held in place as she turned her head again.
"Jerk!" Why the hell was he attacking her?! She was clearly still angry! Had obvious, legitimate complaints! "I'm still talking!" He scraped down her neck, sucking and biting and Kinu tried not to lean into him. Failed miserably. "You fucking asshole- Shinsuke!"
Her legs had wrapped around him as if they had a mind of their own.
"I won't do it again." She wasn't sure if she heard him right. But a hand was sliding up her neck. Raising her jaw as Takasugi's mouth slid down it, and her one free hand pushed against his shoulder.
"Shinsuke-" This time, his name came as a sigh. She wanted to fight more. He wasn't letting her be angry and it wasn't fair. Kinu had plenty more to say, she'd been thinking about it for a long time, and Matako had been giving her ideas and words for how awful it was since she'd walked Kinu into the living quarters. Like horrendous, and traumatizing. She'd also said something about escaping, but Kinu didn't listen to that. She wanted to fight Takasugi. He'd done it, so he had to take responsibility for it, not Matako, or Kawakami. She didn't care how much they apologized for him.
It didn't mean anything if the bastard biting her neck didn't acknowledge what he had done.
"Shinsuke-" For some reason, her voice was a desperate plea this time. She'd been gradually sinking into him. Could feel herself hugging him closer with her one free arm. The other was still against the cabinet, squeezed to the point of pain. She knew her arm wouldn't burst open. Wouldn't bleed. But the scars ached, and the harder Takasugi's teeth pinched her lower lip, the less she cared.
Why was he so hard? Pressing into her like he was justified, and making it difficult to concentrate on exactly why she was surprised in the first place. She hadn't been doing anything to tempt him. Had been bitching at him, as far as she was concerned. Kinu didn't think she'd said anything particularly flirty, but his tongue in her mouth suggested otherwise.
Taking her free hand, Kinu raised it as much as she could. Slapped him, though there was hardly any force behind it. Takasugi pulled back and she stared at him from the corners of her eyes. There was a pause that made her consider her life. It had been a decent run. Maybe the next would be a little better, and mint pocky would still be in production.
Instead of instant death, she was pulled further down and her voice slipped. Kinu was dragged from the cabinets altogether, and stretched across the counter. Her hips met his, and she arched. Hadn't expected him to get rougher. Nails scraped across the waistband of her borrowed shorts, and Kinu managed his name again. Knew she was kissing him back even though he didn't deserve it.
"Shinsuke the food-" Kinu had done a terrible job of masking her moans, and from the way she was clinging to him, she deserved jail, too. Was a murderer's accomplice. The scum of the earth. But here he was, groping her. Kissing her, and panting in her ear as he pressed her into the counter. Saying he'd let her have her way.
She loved every second of it. Wanted him to keep going. Rip her shorts off and tell her that she was the one that was out of line for having all those feelings, and not going along with him, but he didn't. He hadn't told her she was wrong for feeling the way she did at all, and more importantly, Kinu had feelings. Had found a new line for herself that she didn't want to cross.
What was wrong with Takasugi crossing that line? That made him stronger than her. More powerful, and capable of things she couldn't even begin to accomplish. It made him better. She knew he wasn't the worst person; he was, somehow, her favorite.
"The food-" She repeated, and the man barely released her. He still held her in place. Kept a heavy hand on her stomach as if she would wriggle away.
"I need to know exactly where you stand, here." Frowning up at Takasugi, Kinu turned her head but kept her eyes on him. "Are you going to make a big deal about every tiny fight, or can you get used to it?"
Right now? Slowly, the girl eased herself up. Sat on the edge of the counter, with him between her legs. His hands had found perch on her thighs, and it had been too natural. Could have slipped past her. Her position? She wasn't sure. Kinu still wanted him, but she didn't want to watch him get himself killed. He'd been gone less than three hours, and the injuries looked awful. She had a feeling that he'd rip her heart out in the end, and actually get himself killed, if he kept her around that long.
"I support you…" Lowering her gaze, Kinu stared at the white speckled stone under her. "You can use whatever tactics you want, and I'll support you… I don't mind you killing, or how you do it, but don't do that to me again or this game is over."
The look that met Takasugi was one he couldn't place. Unnaturally quiet. Open. Something else he wasn't sure of. Tenderness, somehow?
"But if you die I'll kill you." Initially, Kinu thought he'd be tired of her. Would want to dump her off as soon as he could because she hadn't been able to give him what he'd wanted. They weren't the same. She wasn't sure if he even took her seriously; grabbing her like that when she was so obviously angry.
Carefully stepping past him, she turned her chicken over. Found the pan side black.
"You should really pay more attention to what you're doing."
Scowling, Kinu turned back to the man, and he held her gaze.
"Don't look at me like that, this is your fault!" Kinu was met with a smirk and flick of his gaze.
"Irresponsible people always want to blame everybody else." Silence took the room again, and the longer Takasugi stood there, the more prominent his grin became.
Was this his plan all along? Trying to sabotage her in front of the crew?
"I hate you." Kinu muttered. She turned back to her food. Maybe she could scrape it a little. Fix the breading up. As she contemplated her options, a palm flattened against the back of her shorts, and she jumped. Turned to glare at Takasugi.
"You should wear these a bit lower…" His voice was too close for comfort. She froze as he pressed into her back, and tugged at the shorts. "There's a little more to cover than they're used to…"
"Are you calling me fat?" With the utmost seriousness Kinu searched the man's face for any sign of malice, but what she found was a devilish grin. The shorts were fixed. Tugged down to Takasugi's liking before he walked away.