December 6, 2003
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA
0600 hours
The Admiral approached the entrance to the JAG parking lot with a nagging question on his mind. What the hell was Harm doing here that late? There were no major cases on the docket and for once his paperwork was in on time. The disaster of Paraguay had at least one positive: his need to re-establish his place had made Harm focus harder, even on the mundane paperwork. He was still pondering when he noticed that Mac's red Corvette was already in the lot. He gave her the rest of the week off, assuming she would be reluctant to leave Harm. Her actions at the hospital indicated that not even a direct order from the president would have moved her. So, why was she here? AJ suspected she was burying herself in work to distract herself from thoughts of Harm's condition. What AJ feared most was that she blamed herself. Captain Hollis suggested that past concussions may be exacerbated the current injury and the stress of six months working with spooks did not help. If the doctor was correct, this disaster had enough people to share the blame. They needed answers.
The woman who loved him never wanted to leave his side, but the Marine who needed to reclaim herself and finish what Harm had started needed answers her silent partner could not give. She went home to change into her uniform, needing the strength and shield it provided.
She left her apartment as quickly as possible, not wanting the memory of his last visit to weaken her resolve. Where could she go?
Any other time, the answer would've been obvious; Harm had been her anchor and most reliable sounding board, even during the worst moments of their relationship. Even if the events of the last two days had not involved him, she doubted that that option was open to her after the last year.
She considered going to Webb; they were dating, and most would consider this a logical thing to do. However, any conversation with Clay would lead to questions and arguments about their 'relationship' or Harm's place in her life.
Did she and Clay even have a relationship? In the broad sense of the word, the answer would be yes. In the aftermath of Paraguay, she had been grateful for his sacrifice protecting her, the emotional and physical support. Their shared nightmare would permanently link them and any hope of a future with Harm had ended at her own hand due to their inability to move the status quo. Clay had, unlike Harm, clearly stated his feelings so she took what was offered; settled, as she had done with Mic. Clay was seldom home, couldn't or wouldn't talk about work, and was often too drunk to talk at all. Mac told him she loved him, but his tepid response of "I'm so relieved" suggested he knew differently, and if she was honest, so did she. No relationship lasted on obligation, no matter how horrific the shared experience.
She considered going to Harm's apartment for information on the girl he had hoped to help, or why he returned to JAG. Sturgis and Bud searched the apartment looking for medications as Capt. Hollis requested. What they found surprised them both. Several empty bottles of pain relievers were found in the trash and much more were found in the bathroom, but nothing concerning the girl. Perhaps she would have better luck and she would feel closer to him. It would also remind her of the night this hell began. Mac could still see the pleading in his eyes as he asked her not to go, so she chose his office to begin the search for answers.
The small office that once served as a supply room reminded her again of the price, he paid for her. Memories flooded her mind as she gazed upon the replica of his beloved biplane on the bookshelf beside the desk. Harm promised her then that he would get them out of the threat they faced, and he delivered and so would Mac.
Mac logged onto his computer, hoping something would explain why Harm was here. If he wanted to blow off steam after the fight, flying or driving would be more likely, not returning to work. Had he changed that much? The question and lack of answers spoke to how far apart they had drifted. Brushing aside that depressing thought, Mac continued her search. His schedule showed an appointment with two people: Donna La Moine and Mattie. Where there two new women in his life? Mac wondered. Though she had no right to be jealous, logic had never applied to that score for either of them. However, Harm is too honorable for something like that. Could this be about the petition to foster? Searching for more answers, she found a file labeled 'Sarah'. The contents of the file and files not yet known will change her and JAG forever.