15
Spending all my nights alone, waiting for you to call me
You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep
Tell me what I'm waiting for
Tell me what I'm waiting for
I know it's hard, but we need each other
Know it's hard, but we need each other
-SUGAR- BROCKHAMPTON
It was his first day back at school in several months, and not by choice. Unfortunately for him, the humans were beginning to take notice of his prolonged absence, his 'sick' excuse only appeared credible for a few weeks without any documented hospital visits. And the last thing he needed was Child Protective Services paying Carlisle and Esme a visit.
So, he swallowed his exhaustion and packed his backpack dreadfully for what he knew was going to be longest day of his existence.
He sat in his biology class in a surly mood. Mr Branner had slumped into the room and meekly ordered the class of rowdy seventeen-year olds to map out the process of DNA replication with their lab partners.
He had finished the work in minutes and without a word slid the paper towards Bella's side of the desk.
Through the corner of his eye he could see, as well as feel Bella staring at him with what he could only describe as longing. He could tell that she still felt dissatisfied over last night's sudden confession, but even more over his reaction to it.
Instead of confronting Bella about her misplaced affections, Edward chose to ignore the chestnut girl's stares today, he was in no mood to entertain her idle crush.
But without the assigned work as a distraction, Edward did not know what to do with himself. He tried to focus his attention on the educational poster behind Mr Branner's head but to his utter dismay he could not block out one particular conversation that was taking place across the room.
"Do you think he killed her?" Mike asked His lab partner, Emery Park, who didn't seem to be entertaining the Newton boy's wild theories.
"Mike, shut up." Emery muttered, uninterestedly as he scribbled away diligently at his note pad, but Mike was relentless.
"People don't just disappear," He said, waving his pencil around thoughtlessly. "And you've got to admit there's something that just not right about Cullen." He slammed his pencil onto his desk determinately. "I'm gonna confront him about it."
"You?" Emery snickered sardonically, without bothering to look up at his lab partner.
"Yeah…. After the period ends." He discloses, narrowing his eyes at Emery's nonchalance.
Emery let out a full-blown chortle this time. Alerting the attention of a couple of students, specifically Jessica Stanley. Her ponytail whipped to the side as she turned around to stare wide eyed at the boys seated behind her.
"What are you guys talking about?" She asked curiously, twirling her hair around her finger.
"Nothing." Mike said the same time Emery blurted out. "Mike's obsessing over Amiyah's absence again."
"More like disappearance." Mike added darkly.
"Dude." Emery breathed out, shaking his head jadedly, while Jessica perked up at the prospect of partaking in some gossip.
"So, do you think she's like," She lowered her voice and peered intensely at Mike. "Dead?"
Emery put down his pen forcefully and tried to diffuse the situation. "Let's not get out of hand here, she could've transferred, or dropped out. Literally anything sounds more plausible than these wacky theories going around."
Mike ignored Emery's attempt to rationalise the situation. "If she is dead, I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch that hurt her." He said heavily, puffing out his chest in gusto, whilst sending Edward a hateful gaze.
"Okay, Chill out Detective Newton. You barely knew her." Jessica commented snidely.
The Newton boy grew red. "We were pretty close." He defended himself grimly.
Jessica pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
Jessica's thoughts were as shallow as ever, ranging between extreme jealousy over Mike's affection for Amiyah, and complete flippancy over her so called 'disappearance'. Mike's on the other hand were filled with Amiyah and him in various compromising positions after he subsequently 'saved' her from the evil clutches of Edward Cullen.
He was fuming.
Venom began to pool inside of Edward's mouth, forcefully he swallowed the growl bubbling in the back of his throat. They were just teenagers, spewing out their ridiculous theories, he needed to calm down. He wouldn't lose control of himself. He couldn't. He had to remember where he was, who he was. Or at least who he was trying to be, for Carlisle… For Amiyah.
Bella's hand rested on his arm, interrupting his internal soliloquy.
"Are you okay?" She asked gently, her gaze filed with concern and underlying awe.
"Yes." He said gruffly, subtly yet effectively shrugging her hand off his arm.
"Your eyes are black." She said in a low, yet impassioned whisper.
He shut his eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on extinguishing his frustration, instead of lashing out at her.
"I'm just… tired." He would laugh at how absurd he sounded if it weren't so true.
The past six months had been far from easy from him. He had been so disconnected from everything; it felt like he was living on auto-pilot, and he was sure his everyone around him could sense it too.
Being without her was excruciating and he was inconsolable.
"I'm sorry." She said warmly, as if she were personally responsible for his unrest.
Bella gave him an intense stare down and chewed her bottom lip furiously. He could almost see the wheels in her mind whirling. She obviously wanted to ask him something, he tried to withhold a sigh.
"About last night-"
He restrained himself from rolling his eyes and groaning out loud. He couldn't catch one break today, could he?
"I-"
"Bella it's alright," Edward cut her off hastily. "We don't need to talk about last night. Let's just pretend it never happened." He mustered up all the effort he had to send her a, hopefully, charming smile.
Bella's bottom lip trembled slightly, only to be transformed automatically into a wide grin which he was certain was fake. It was hard for Edward to gauge from her expression her true reception to what he had said, it was even harder without access to her mind.
He wasn't yet sure if not being able to hear Bella's thoughts was a good or bad thing. But it on days like these it definitely was an unexpected relief.
"Okay." She chirped, pushing her hair back carelessly.
Much to Edward's relief the conversation had sizzled out at that point, leaving him to doodle aimlessly in his usually neat notebook.
He is interrupted from his drawing by someone calling his name mentally. It doesn't take him long to identify the voice to be Alice's and so he listens closer.
'Excuse yourself and meet me in the car park now, it's an emergency.'
A state of panic immediately arises in him. Her tone was far from reassuring
Edward quickly askes Mr Branner to be excused to the restroom, and once he gives a jaded 'yes', Edward bolts out of the biology lab in an acceptable human speed.
"What's wrong?" He asks his sister, who, once she sees him exiting the school doors, gracefully jumps off the hood of Emmett's jeep where she was previously sitting.
"Do I need a reason to talk to my brother without there being something wrong?"
"You practically pulled me out of classes. You said it was an emergency."
"I may have exaggerated the direness of the situation just a little bit" She responds sheepishly.
He groans loudly.
"What is it?"
"I was speaking to Bella…."
"And?" He tries to rush her
"And" She sends him a stern glare, not liking being rushed. "Her birthday is tomorrow, she's turning 18."
"I'll make sure to send her a card." He drawls out sarcastically.
"She was telling me about how her dad was gonna be working late again, because of all the missing persons." She paused to give Edward a pointed look. "And that she would be spending her birthday alone."
"She has other friends Alice."
"They don't know that her birthday is coming up."
"She could've easily told them. Am I supposed to be empathic over her irrational fear of growing older?"
"Oh my God Edward, never mind your stone-cold heart. I told Bella that she could come over to our house and we'd throw her a party." She says with a large smile a glint in her eye.
Edward does not share the same excitement as his sister for the upcoming festivities.
"And why would you do that?"
"She's lonely Edward." Alice pouts pitifully.
"'She's delusional. She believes that her and I are destined to be together. You inviting her to our home is just going to make things more unbearable for me."
"You're being insensitive, and frankly a little bit self-centred." She scowls at him with her arms crossed.
He scoffed at his sister's naivety
"Am I? You've seen what she's done, just to get close to me. She put our whole family in jeopardy, and you forcing a friendship between the two of you isn't helping any of us."
"I can't make friends now, Edward, is that what you're saying?"
"I'm saying, that Bella Swan attracts nothing but danger, and maybe keeping a distance will be favourable."
Alice, feeling the need to stand up for the awkward brunette narrows her eyes at Edward and prepared to chastise him for his unfair opinion of Bella.
"You're behaving as if Bella is nothing but a beacon for bad luck. Sure, she may have encountered some…unfortunate situations in the past, but that's not her fault. She's a sweet girl. She's funny and kind and-"
"She's batshit crazy, that's what she is." Edward snidely states.
Alice releases a deep breath and stares at the ground aggravatedly.
"I just think that you should give her a chance. She's been through so much this year alone, she deserves to have someone in her corner."
He felt the need to interject but held himself down.
"Just promise me, you'll be a little more empathic with her."
"Okay." He said placatingly, eager for the conversation to finally end.
"Thank you." Alice smiled triumphantly.
"The party starts at six, but I told Bella to come over earlier so I can get her ready. I expect you to be on your best behaviour." She starts to walk towards the school doors, but swiftly twirls around when she remembers something.
"Oh! And I chose a gift for you to give her on your own behalf. You need to pick it up at Pandora before three.""
Alice was pulling out all the stops for Bella's party. Shed bought over a dozen red roses from a florist in town just for the occasion, leaving the whole house to be filled with the sickly-sweet scent. Gold and silver Streamers lined the staircase and countertops and some light music could be heard playing from the stereo.
She'd sent Emmett and Rosalie out on a soda run hours ago, Edward suspected that they used that as an excuse to stay out as long as they could. Carlisle was still at work and Jasper and Esme had gone out hunting, they all had promised to return before the party started, leaving Edward alone with Alice for two hours.
"Bella's going to be here soon." She called out as she strolled into the living room holding onto a box of fairy lights
"That's nice." He muttered behind a magazine he had been leafing through on the couch.
"Well aren't you going to change?"
"You're not expecting me to wear a suit, are you?" He grimaced.
"I was hoping that you would put some effort into your attire for tonight. Do you really want Bella to see you in the same clothes as yesterday?"
"Truthfully? I don't care."
Alice looked at him with disdain and exhaled heavily
"I didn't want to tell you this. I was hoping that whatever would happen between you and Bella would happen organically. But I guess I'm gonna have to give you a little nudge."
He furrowed his brows and stared at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
Alice put down the fairy lights and walked up to Edward cautiously.
"When I first found out that Bella was moving to Forks, I had a vision. Of you and her, you were together… in love, and happy. This was before you and Amiyah. I never thought that the two of you would be anything serious, but once I saw how happy she made you I figured my vision was a fluke… but now that she's gone, I don't know maybe my vision was more accurate than I thought"
Alice's confession left nothing but a bad taste in his mouth.
The book. It dawned on Edward morosely. It had to be that wretched book.
After Amiyah had shown it to him, he tried not to think too much about what he had read in it. Doing so would give him an inexplicable ache between his brows. So, he pushed it to the back of his head, and whenever he would feel it sliver to the forefront of his mind, he would chant forcefully to himself that he was the only one in control of his life.
He wasn't quite sure he wanted to tell Alice, or anyone else about the book yet, so he decided a short spiel about how the future isn't certain would be enough to convince her that there was no way in hell he would start a relationship with Bella.
But fortunately for him, he was saved from having to explain himself by the sound of Bella's truck pulling into their driveway.
"She's here!" Alice squealed excitedly, pushing Edward aside.
She ran to the door before a knock could even sound and engulfed an unsuspecting Bella into warm bear hug.
"You're wearing a dress." Alice stated, her words laced with disappointment. She had a dress picked out for Bella and was hoping that it would be the one she would wear tonight.
"Yeah, Charlie took me shopping yesterday, I look stupid, don't I?" She tucks her hair behind her ear demurely.
"No, you look gorgeous, I'm just upset that I had no hand in your little metamorphosis," She grinned at Bella good naturedly. "Edward," She nudges him eagerly. "Tell her she looks beautiful."
"You look beautiful." He replies uncommittedly.
Her face lights up at his compliment and smiles at him bashfully "Thank you."
"Well, now that we don't have to get you ready, Edward why don't you give Bella a tour?" Alice suggests.
"Why don't you?"
"Because I'm finishing up down here." Alice says with a forced smile. The two siblings stare one another down, waiting on the other to break
"It's okay," Bella interjects awkwardly. "I need to use your bathroom anyway."
"Of course. Edward will direct you to one, en-route your tour."
Edward restrained the need to roll his eyes, there was no use fighting with Alice.
"Come. It's right upstairs." He motions to Bella who struggles to keep up with his long strides.
She stops him once they've reached the top of the staircase. "Uhm, I don't really need to use the bathroom." She said with a red face, almost as if she were embarrassed by her own humanity. I just… I saw you were getting uncomfortable, I wanted to diffuse the situation."
"I've been uncomfortable all week." He rationalises indifferently.
"Because of school? It was your first day back yesterday... were the voices too much for you?"
The level of insistence Bella put into trying to understand him never failed to unnerve him.
"Here's my room." He said, swiftly diverting her from poking deeper into his life.
"It's big. Very open." She says, taking notice of the minimal furniture and large glass windows.
"Good acoustics?" She asks with a timid smile.
A sense of déjà vu washes over him. Where had he heard that before?
"You don't have a bed. I know you don't sleep, but Alice has one and I just assumed that-"
"Alice and Jasper… have a purpose for a bed, I do not." He says simply.
"Why?" Realisation quickly dawns on her and Edward is glad he doesn't have to explain any further. "Oh! I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologise."
"I do. I'm being awkward, which I'm sure is making you feel super awkward." She pulls at the sleeves at her cardigan lightly, blushing furiously.
"It's alright, Bella. I'm unbothered, really." He really was, he imagined puling teeth would be more entertaining than conversating with her right now.
"Is that all your music?" She points to his shelves of cd cases.
"Yes."
"Do you mind if I?" she points to the cd player indicating she wanted to play some music.
"Go ahead."
He watches curiously as she immediately pulls out a CD from his shelf and smiles at the cover. How had she picked a CD so quickly? He had arranged his music in a very specific way, it was strange to see Bella just pick one out like she already knew where it was.
"This is one of my favourites." She points at the Dean Martin album in her hands
"You enjoy 50s music?" He asks her politely.
"Yeah, Music in the fifties was amazing," Bella removed the disk from its case and slid it into Edward's CD player. "Much better than the sixties or seventies… The eighties were bearable."
He looks at Bella oddly. Those were the exact sentiments he had. It was almost as if she had read his mind
He was so lost in his thoughts, that hearing Dean Martin softly crooning to That's Amore startled him out of his reverie.
"Do you want to dance?" Bella asked with a hopeful glint in her eye.
"Bella, I-" He was about to let her down gently when she interjected swiftly.
"Platonically of course." She sent him a genial smile.
"I'm not a very good dancer." He lied perfectly through his teeth.
"Neither am I. We can be terrible dancers together."
He couldn't help but let out a brief snicker at her words, the girl sure was relentless.
She must have mistaken his laughter for genuine amusement. Which made her perk up. A wistful look taking over her gaze.
'I don't know if I should do this.' He heard a vaguely familiar voice say faintly. He peered curiously at Bella.
"Did you say something?"
"Uhm, no. But I-" Her voice began to drown out as Edward tried to seek out the voice again.
"Oh my God. Oh my God Oh my God."
No.
It couldn't be…Barely sparing Bella another glance he bolts out of his room and down the stairs trying to locate where that voice was coming from.
He paused at the front door, feeling fearful yet hopeful for what he might see on the other side.
Mustering up all the courage he required he swung the open the door and felt his undead heart stutter.
This cant be real. It has to be a dream- a hallucination his mind had conjured up, but not even his own mind could recreate such perfection.
Amiyah stood on his doorstep wearing a very simple outfit- A pair of faded blue jeans and a grey hoodie- with her hair tied up into a loose ponytail. Her eyes had widened when he opened the door, surprise and trepidation evident on her face, but Edward was the one that felt like an anxious teen; breathless and completely vulnerable in front of the love of his life.
"You're back," He hadn't even registered himself speaking.
She smiled at him, almost imperceptibly, and a lump the size of a boulder became lodged in his throat.
She was flawless. Radiant. He couldn't control himself. Instantly he took Amiyah into his arms and pulled her into the embrace he'd been longing to be in for months. Her lips were soft and caressed Edward's into a silken waltz he never wants to end.
He craves for nothing more than her touch, but after remembering her need to breathe he reluctantly releases his lips from hers and moves his head to rest between her neck and shoulder. "I've missed you so much.'' He says heavily.
His breath hitches when he hears her whisper; " I've missed you too."
Suddenly, Amiyah's mind unknowingly projects a scene unto him, one which he had put out of his own mind months ago.
He cringes when he sees the image of Bella's lips locked onto his, from the point of view of his own mate.
He allows her to beat at his chest for a while, figuring he deserved whatever assault Amiyah could throw his way.
"You saw the kiss." He says softly.
"How? –" He stops himself and changes the pace. It meant nothing Amiyah. Trust me." He says with conviction.
"That's hard to do when I saw you giving that heavy breathing bitch CPR lessons." She hisses.
He recoils from her harsh tone. He needed to tread lightly, one wrong word could send it all spiralling out of control.
"She kissed me." He said evenly.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Of course not! She took me by surprise and then Her scent overpowered me. I thought that if I just let it play out, I could gather some restraint and refrain from hurting her. I love you Amiyah, I could never think of betraying you like that."
His hand instinctively reaches out to cusp her face in a move to soothe her warranted malcontent yet irrational fear.
Just the thought of being with anyone else but Amiyah plagued him with an inconsolable antipathy, he needed her to know that she was the only one for him.
.
"So, you don't want to be with her?"
No! His head shouted, but his mouth defied him perilously.
His hand immediately drops from her face and he releases a heavy sigh. "It's... complicated." His gaze shifts to the ground shamefully.
"What do you mean it's complicated? It's a simple yes or no question."
"While you were gone... a lot happened." He thinks of everything that he and his family went through in the past few weeks, the danger they had been put in and the sacrifices that he had to make. He needed to explain all of it to Amiyah.
Just as he is about to do just that, he sees the expression on Amiyah's face shift to one of pure disbelief. He doesn't need to turn around to see what has brought about the sudden tension in the room.
Bella.
He had almost forgotten about her and he now regrets not telling her to stay put. Maybe that would've prevented all that happened next.
"Edward?'' She walks up to him and places her hand on his shoulder. "Are you coming up?" Sweet Jesus.
"What the fuck is this?" Amiyah blurts out abrasively, not having any of it.
"Amiyah, you're back." Bella speaks up, visibly ruffled.
''Yeah. But I'll get out of your hair. I can see you two are very busy.'' She says with repressed anger.
Great, he had really done it now hadn't he?
His eyes plead with her to stay but somehow his mouth can't properly formulate the words.
He'd never been at a loss of words before. He feared that whatever he may say would just blow up in his face.
He wanted nothing more than to follow her and to set things straight, but he knew he had to give her time to cool down. He had never seen Amiyah that angry and hurt before, he hated that he was the cause of it.
He had to make things right, no matter what.
A/N Yoooo. Sorry this chapter took so long. When I tell you that university has been kicking my ass I am not lying. I've got a test tomorrow then another one next week, then one more after that, but here I am at 3 am updating this just for you, lol if anyone still reads this. Tbh I don't think I'll update in a couple of weeks since exams are coming up, but after that I promise that more chapters will come more frequently.
I really hope you enjoyed this, don't forget to comment and vote