Chapter 2 This Evil Within
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The sky slowly brightens with the hidden dawn. I wipe away the last of my tears and peer through my bars into the empty cell across from mine. All that remains are the shredded pieces of Sara's clothing and her boots. I pull my clenched fist from my chest and open it, my fingers sore from how tightly I clenched them throughout the night. Sara's tarnished ring rests safely in my palm. I've seen the shredded clothing and shoes of the prisoners left behind, but never any of their jewelry. I release a shaky breath. Ravenna and Finn must keep the jewelry of their victims; perhaps to sell them, perhaps to wear them, or perhaps to goad over them as some sick trophies. I shake my head and close my hand about Sara's ring. Once, I never thought of Ravenna as capable of being so sick in her mind as to do such a thing…but now I question it.
I clutch Sara's ring to my chest and look at the empty cell again. I'm alone once more. I look back at my noose still hanging from the rafters, barely swaying back and forth in the little breeze that manages to pass through my window. Just like me, Sara was about to take her life, but then something stopped her. For her, it was the fear of pain. For me, it was the sound of the wood door slamming that stopped me…or was it my fear of going to a hell far worse than this hell? Whatever the reason, Sara has changed something in me. She made me feel happiness again. I felt it when she made me laugh, not out of scorn, but out of genuine, good amusement. That laughter was a brief moment of happiness. Is that what she revived within me? I haven't laughed out of genuine, good amusement in twelve years. I haven't felt happiness in twelve years.
I let go of another shaky breath, the enormity of this triumph hitting me. I tighten my fist about Sara's ring. I refuse to let this triumph be squandered. Happiness is possible here in this hell. Now, escape, leading my father's people, or my people, as Sara called them, to freedom—hogwash, all of it, but I cannot squander the potential of finding happiness in this hell. Her ring is a tangible piece of that happiness, that bit of goodness in this hell. Goodness is not an illusion. It is possible.
Urgency fills me. I must keep her ring safe, somehow…my eyes drift down to the tattered hem of my dress. That'll do. I set Sara's ring down on the ground in front of me and grab the hem of my dress in both hands. I tighten one hand as an anchor and yank hard with my other hand, tearing a strip of frayed green linen long enough to form a long necklace about my neck. I pick up Sara's ring and thread the linen strip through the hole of the ring. I tie off both ends of the linen tightly and hold it back, taking in my handiwork. It's nothing to boast over, but it serves to hold her ring safely about my neck. I slip the looped linen over my head and tuck her ring safely into my dress.
My heart drops while tears well in my eyes, blurring my sight of my noose. Sara must be ash now. God, there's no telling what Finn did to her before Ravenna drained her of all her life. I've heard stories of the women that Ravenna kills; how Finn abuses them and forces himself upon them, humiliating them and defiling them before he hands them over to his sister to drain them of their lives—Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
I stiffen and sit up. Black glass knights! Why are they coming!? Are they bringing another prisoner? Are they finally coming for me? Are they bringing Sara back!?—No, they dragged her away to her death. The knights are either coming for me or they are bringing another prisoner—the wood door creaks open and slams shut, echoing down the long hall. The black glass knights march, their footsteps growing louder as they draw closer. I scramble to my knees and press my face between my bars to peer down the hall. The same two knights that took her earlier march down the hall in perfect unison, as if controlled by one mind—Ravenna's mind. They carry something within their silken black cloaks—my heart drops—something shaped like a body.
Drip. Drip. I follow the dripping sound to the stone floor. Drops of crimson fall out of the knights' cloaks, leaving a trail of crimson spots on the black stone. My stomach churns. That's blood.
All I can do is watch as the knights come to the empty cell across from mine. They open the cell door and enter it. They turn their cloaks inside out and dump something—someone—onto the ground with a loud thud. The knights shake out their cloaks, the pattering of blood chilling me. They finish shaking out their cloaks and step out into the hall, shutting the cell door behind them. I try to peer between their legs, but their cloaks fall in the way as they lock the cell door with the jiggling keys. I growl in frustration and almost pound my bruised fists into my bars, but I stop myself. The knights ignored me the first time, but would they ignore me this time?
The black glass knights turn from the cell and march down the hall the way they came, revealing––I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands. It's a fresh corpse, its skin missing! Bright red muscles dripping with blood cling to its bones, nearly hiding its bones save for the top of its skull. Its face is small and soft, its eyes missing from their sockets. That corpse…is Sara!
Nausea churns my stomach while tears sting my eyes and blur my sight of her corpse. I lurch forward and retch out all the water in my stomach onto the floor. I cough and gag as I struggle to regain my breath, gripping hold of my bars for something, anything to cling to. Why did the knights bring her back!? To torment me!? To taunt me and show me all the horrors they made my dear friend endure!? My fingers tighten about the bars, the sharp edges of the rust digging into my hands. Damn them! Damn them all! Ravenna, Finn, the soulless black glass knights, damn them! Anger, pain—both fill me up to the point of eruption, threatening to burst out of me lest I let it out myself.
I open my mouth and scream at the top of my lungs, stinging my ears with the loudness. I tear my hand from the bar and pound on it. I pound, pound, pound, screaming, sobbing, screaming. I growl and bite one of the bars. I bite as hard as I can and scream, my teeth stabbing into my gums. I release my bars from my sore teeth and pound on them, pounding so much that the immense crushing pain in my hands turns to a heavy, pressing numbness. I scramble back from my bars and kick at them. I sob while I kick at them, kick, kick, kick, hoping, praying that they will give way from all their years of rusting. I kick and kick, my sobbing not ending, my torment unceasing, my anger all-consuming. I feel the evil stirring within me, the same evil Ravenna had me take in as part of myself. It touches my heart with hate, hate for Ravenna and a greater hate for Finn. Is this something Sara would agree with? She forgave me for mocking her and laughing at her. Yet here I am, allowing the evil that has consumed Ravenna to start consuming me. Fear fills me. Fear of this evil within me. Fear of myself.
I grow weak from lashing out and tremble. I cannot let this evil consume me. I cannot, lest I become like Ravenna.
"God!" I lift my teary eyes to the rotting rafters above me. "Don't"—I sob once—"don't let this evil consume me, please." My sobbing and trembling grows. "Please!"
Something moves in the bottom of my sight. I halt my pleading and slowly look down at Sara's corpse. Sara's corpse sits up suddenly, gasping hoarsely, staring at me with those black holes that once held her eyes! I scream and scramble back to the farthest corner of my cell! This cannot be real! I cover my eyes with my hands and try to quiet my screaming, shaking uncontrollably. It's so cold! This is not real! I am seeing things! My eyes are playing horrible tricks on me! I should uncover my eyes and look to prove to myself that I am seeing things, but I cannot look!