Thank you for the reviews lately! They absolutely make my day. Also, I'm going to have Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chilli Peppers stuck in my head for weeks :)))

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General trigger warnings for this story: Language, smut, mentions of rape, abuse, drug use/overdose, violence/death.

CHAPTER 55: SCAR TISSUE

Tig arrived back at the clubhouse just as it began to get dark, having to opt for street parking since the compound was filled to the brim with the club and all of their associates. He frowned as he pulled off his helmet and hung it over the handlebars, his heavy feet carrying him closer to the noisy party.

Gemma was weaving her way through the crowd with a hot tray of barbeque wings from the kitchen when she saw Tig moseying dismally through the gates. She frowned, although she was happy to see that Sydney was at home resting rather than carrying on her reckless streak, she hated to see Tig looking so lost - a look that she hadn't seen on him in a long time. The matriarch passed the aluminum container off onto a croweater, making her way over to the lonely Sergeant.

"Hey, baby." She placed her hand on his shoulder, rolling her fingers over the tense muscles. "You okay?"

"Oh, hey Gem." Tig pulled himself from his pity-party, hugging his friend. "I'm okay." He assured her unconvincingly as he avoided her invasive gaze, scanning the compound for Clay who he found sitting at a long table with the rest of SAMCRO.

"Um." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you think you could go check on Syd? Maybe bring her some dinner? She wouldn't eat earlier and I-"

"Sure." Gemma cut him off with a nod, letting him know that he didn't need to explain his concern as she patted him on the shoulder encouragingly.

"Thanks." Tig smiled, handing her his keys and kissing her on the cheek before heading over to where his club was waiting for him.

Sydney scowled when she heard the lock jiggling on her front door from where she sat on the couch. She'd decided that Tig had earned himself some peace of mind - and going back up the stairs was far more work than she could muster up the strength for - but she hadn't expected him to have been home quite literally minutes after he'd left.

"Babe?" She called once she heard the door open and somebody step inside. She began to panic when she got no answer, realizing that she was nowhere near any weapons and was in no position to defend herself if needed. She took a deep breath, slowing her racing heart as she leant down and began to slink off of the couch quietly as footsteps began to approach.

"Just me." Gemma came into view with a friendly smile on her face as she brandished a plate of food.

"Jesus." Sydney exhaled, slapping her hand over her heart. "You scared the shit out of me." She laughed nervously as she pushed herself back up onto the couch.

"Uh huh…" Gemma raised a brow as she looked down at the younger woman. "What exactly were you planning on doing?" She nodded to where Sydney had been crouched on the floor.

"Improvising." Sydney rasped theatrically with a playful smile. "Tig sent you?" She guessed, her tone falling flat as she nodded at his keys which were dangling from her slender fingers.

Gemma nodded with a smile. "I have not seen that man this in love since he was struggling to grow a beard." She laughed, setting the plate of ribs and potato salad down on the table.

"I think you're confusing love with compensation." Sydney scoffed. The voice in the back of her head had her completely looking past the sweet gesture, all she could see was that he didn't think she could function on her own for more than twenty minutes, and she knew the weight that a burden like that could hold on a man in this life.

"Sweetheart…" Gemma sighed, sitting next to her and looking into her eyes. "Men like Tig do well when they have something to protect; something to drive them. That's why he's the Sergeant - it's his job."

"Something to protect… Not a reminder of something that he couldn't protect." She stated sadly, staring at the dark haired woman with a hollowness behind her eyes.

Gemma frowned. She knew what Sydney was getting at, but she also knew that it was a point supported solely by insecurity and clouded judgment. She thought back to what she had told Sydney before the shooting, about the conversation that she needed to have with Tig about this very issue: security.

"You talk to him like I said?" Sydney nodded wearily, knowing where this conversation was going - and it didn't involve her winning.

Gemma's eyes widened in surprise. "Good." She blinked with a snort, impressed that the unconventional couple was actually taking her advice. "Best to do it when you have no choice - can't fuck your problems away." She smirked knowingly.

"Yeah." Sydney scoffed.

Gemma's brows furrowed before she caught on, her dark eyes falling to the bruising peeking out from the neckline of the oversized t-shirt that she was wearing. "Jesus." She winced.

Tig sat adjacent to Clay at the table, as the Sergeant always did, but tonight he didn't feel like the Sergeant. Without Sydney by his side - or on his lap, rather - he was being constantly reminded of the reality of the situation, and he wasn't happy about it. He kept his heavy eyes down while he twirled his beer bottle around while everybody watched Donut and Tank go at it in the ring, his gaze falling to his middle finger which was empty without the silver cross that it was usually adorned with. He took a deep breath, closing his hand over the gold heart hanging around his neck, pushing the dark thoughts into the back of his mind where they belonged.

"You good?" Happy rasped from across the table, looking at Tig with a creased brow as his eyes fell to where he was clutching his necklace the same way that he was used to seeing Sydney do.

Tig's eyes shot up once he realized the attention was on him, but he didn't see his brothers, he saw Gemma standing off in the distance, nodding to him with a smile. "Yeah." He answered distantly as he returned her smile. "Yeah, I'm here." He shook his head, refocusing as he redirected his attention to where it was supposed to be.

Sydney expelled a long, slow breath once she was finally alone again, making herself comfortable as she peeled the foil off of the still hot plate of good when she heard the front door opening again. She felt her insides freeze in frustration this time instead of fear. "Hello?" She called impatiently, getting no reply. Now she froze with fear, feeling her heart sink for what felt like the hundredth time today. She knew what the silence meant: Happy.

"Hey there, little lady." Packer smiled as he rounded the corner.

Sydney exhaled in relief, hoping this was the last time tonight that her panic would get the best of her. "Didn't know I had a revolving fucking door." She scoffed.

"They're gonna patch you." The Southern Cali President cut right to the chase. Sydney scoffed, looking away. "You don't think so?" He scowled, wondering if amongst the word that had been spreading across the charters about her progress, that maybe there was something that she wasn't telling him.

"I haven't really thought about it." It wasn't a lie. Sydney knew that the recent events should've given her a rush of confidence towards her goals, but her focus had been on keeping up the image that had landed her there in the first place - not on stopping to see how much it had developed.

"Losing focus… Now that don't sound like you."

"Yeah well, gunshots and bed rest don't sound like me either." She smiled sarcastically.

"The life of a Son." He mused with a knowing smile.

"Cameron wants that piece of shit Hefner killed before Monday." Chibs looked around the table at his Redwood brothers.

"He's squeezing the Irish for more payoff cash." Juice explained.

"And how is that our problem?" Tig groaned, scratching at the rigid plastic of the fold out table that they were occupying.

"We told Cameron we'd help him… Get our guns faster." Jax reminded him.

"Took a bullet to save him. That was help enough." Tig shook his head, clenching his jaw tightly.

"It aint help." Chibs shook his head. "It's a gift."

"We take out the Port Commissioner - he gives us back our $200k, plus a month of free guns."

Clay listened intently as his officers reported their information, nodding his head as he strategized how to best get what he wanted for the club, whilst keeping them happy after the bold move he'd pulled brokering a deal with the enemy behind their backs.

"Guns and cash… We could use that if we're gonna be steppin Laroy." Bobby thought aloud,, to Clay's relief.

"Murder for hire." The President surmised. "That's a dirty business." He warned. He knew that the club was on board, now he just needed to make them think that it was their idea - not his.

"It's not about money." Piney reminded his younger, greedier brothers. "That asshole killed McKeevy. Michael was a friend of mine, and yours, and your dad's." He looked to Jax. "He went back a long way with SAMCRO."

"What do you think, V.P.?" Clay nodded to his stepson.

"I agree with Piney." Jax pursed his lips. "McKeevy was a friend. I think we owe it to the Irish."

Tig nodded along while he chewed his lower lip. He didn't give a shit what they did, he just wanted to be able to move past the constant reminder that his old lady had been shot and he hadn't been able to do anything to stop it from happening.

Clay nodded, leaning forward as he placed his beer on the table. "How does Cameron want us to do it?"

"Got it all planned out." Juice nodded with a smile. "Hefner's got a ritual… Church with the fat wife, sex with the black girlfriend. She lives in a shitty hood right outside of his nice Oakland suburb."

"And that's where we take him out." Chibs grinned sadistically. "Black on white hate crime. Who gives a shit?"

Normally Tig would've been all for this kind of attitude coming from his usually more tame brothers, but he couldn't feel anything other than discomfort as he forced himself to remain calm and logical for the sake of his relationship - a setting that he didn't often turn on.

"Who does it?"

Jax never would have called himself an opportunist - that title was reserved for his stepfather. But when he saw the door open for him to save himself and possibly erase the strike on his record that Kohn had marked off, he couldn't help but take it.

"I-"

"I do." Opie cut him off.

Jax felt his veins run cold when he heard his best friend's voice over his own. "Been a while since you suited up, brother." He tried to talk him down. He might've been ready to accept his fate, but he wasn't ready to accept that his best friend was condemned to the same one.

Opie turned slightly, side eyeing the blonde man to his left as he tried to undermine his opportunity to earn his way back into the club. "I'll do it." Jax nodded as he looked into his eyes.

"I can do this." Opie turned his attention towards his President since his Vice President clearly wasn't doing him any favors.

"What about your little Princess?" Jax leant back, nodding to Clay. He was grasping at straws, but after seeing Clay so fiercely back Sydney, he figured that if the idea of him proving his loyalty wasn't enough to trump Opie's volunteer, then maybe the idea of letting Sydney prove hers would be. "Good chance to bring her in closer, let her know that her actions aren't goin unnoticed." He continued his pitch.

"She's a little tied up right now." Clay sneered at the ridiculous suggestion.

"Not too tied up…" Opie commented as his eyes wandered across the compound to where he saw Sydney walking up with Packer, getting out of his seat and respectfully leaving his superiors to discuss in private.

Tig's eyes lit up when he spotted that gorgeous white-blonde hair, curly and shining in the moonlight. He let the rising joy bring him to his feet, glancing down at Clay who gave him the nod of approval.

Sydney felt her stomach filling with butterflies when Tig gawked at her from across the compound. Her eyes sparkling as she smiled bashfully at him, kissing Packer on the cheek before making her way over to where he was walking towards her.

"Baby girl…" Tig purred, stopping in front of her with his hands on his hips as he looked her up and down.

Sydney bit her lip, swaying for him as his eyes raked over her in the ruffled baby blue romper she wore with her white cork wedges. She felt her cheeks getting hotter as he trailed his hands around her waist, humming as he pulled her against him.

"You're gorgeous." He whispered into her hair as her sweet scent flooded his nostrils and washed away any resentment he had been feeling. "You come for me?" He pulled his face away but kept his body pressed against hers, looking down with a grin as his hands slid underneath the loose fabric and gripped her ass.

"I told you Sergeant." She hummed low, tilting her lips up towards his. "I'll be coming for you for the rest of my life." She rasped.

"That's what I like to hear." He growled, descending his lips onto her in a passionate kiss, sucking her tongue before pulling away - not letting himself get too lost in the moment just yet. He had work to do - work that couldn't be done if he kept her all to himself. "Let's get you a drink." He smiled, leading her inside.

"Opie already proved he's back." Jax shook his head sternly once Tig was gone.

"He pressed a button, he didn't kill anyone." Clay scoffed. "Get Cameron to confirm the payoff." He nodded to Juice and Chibs, who nodded back - tapping the table before getting up and heading off to carry out the task.

"Jax, Ope, Bobby." Clay ordered. "No mistakes." He let his stern gaze linger on Jax before his shadowed eyes shifted across the compound where Tara was standing awkwardly, waiting for them to finish, reminding Jax of his current standing.

Jax nodded, keeping his composure even though he was cringing inside at the horrible timing of Tara's arrival. At least he was being given a chance to make things right, he told himself as he stood from the table and waltzed over to the out-of-place looking brunette.

"I want Ope pullin the trigger on this." Clay told Bobby once they were alone at the table. "I wanna make sure he's really back."

"I think we all do." Bobby nodded.

Tig walked through the clubhouse and to the bar with a smile on his face. He was better when Sydney was around; standing a little taller and walking a little prouder with her by his side - even if he was worried that she shouldn't be on her feet. He'd pushed away the impulse that he had to ask if she was okay to walk, and now he was fighting the need to get her sat down right away, trying to do what she wanted and trust that she would let him know if she wasn't okay. He'd learned earlier today that it was best to take her approach of ignorance, the more he emphasized it - the more uncomfortable she became, and that was the opposite of what he wanted.

Sydney felt good standing next to Tig, even when every set of eyes in the crowded room fell on her, scanning over her exposed body for any telltale signs that she had actually been a victim of a shooting less than a week ago - because she sure didn't look like she had. She felt Tig's hand squeeze hers a little harder as people began to approach, squeezing back to let him know that she would be okay as she parted from him to accept the wave of greetings.

Packer smiled from where he sat by the pool table when the girl that he'd always known came back to life before him, catching Tig's eye across the room in the process. He raised his glass to the younger man who he could see was doing everything he could to care for his firecracker of a goddaughter - a job that he knew didn't come easy. Tig returned the gesture with a small smile and a nod of respect, at least someone thought he was doing something right.

Sydney felt the nerves slowly beginning to fade as she managed to ease back into her comfort zone of life at the clubhouse - even with SAMDINO there. Unfortunately, the fading nerves meant the fading of her body's defence mechanism against the pain. She chugged the beer that Tig had gotten for her - motioning for Half-Sack as soon as she had a break in visitors.

"You okay?" Half-Sack asked worriedly as he scanned over her.

"I'm gonna need something stronger for the pain." She wiggled her empty bottle which he swiped, scurrying back behind the bar and scanning the selection of alcohol frantically - settling on a glass of 151.

"Here." He shoved the short glass into her hand, panting as he scanned the room. "I'm gonna find something better."

"Okay." Sydney chuckled in amusement. She wished that she could take everyone's distress over her injury as lightly as she took Kip's - something about the way he worried about her didn't seem to bother her like it did with the other's.

"Hey." Sydney heard the tentative voice behind her, turning around to see Tara standing with her hands in the pockets of her grey hoodie.

"Oh, hey Doc." Sydney smiled, wrapping her arms around her. She was glad to be back on good terms with the older woman, and even gladder to see that she had taken her advice about Jax.

"You know." Tara raised a brow as she pulled away. "You shouldn't be here." She shook her head with a knowing smirk

"Neither should you." Sydney smiled with a wink, linking arms with the dark haired woman and pulling her towards the bar.

Luckily, Sydney found herself on the couch rather quickly after having commandeered the seats from Rollie and multiple croweaters. She sat with her legs over Tig's lap, twirling her fingers in the curls by his ear as he explained his reasoning for his choice in their game of 'which member will end up with which whore'. If she could stay in this position all night and continue sipping on rum with an alcohol percentage of 75, she would be just fine.

"Juice always goes for the blondes. I'm tellin you - he's got this one."

"She's like twice his size!" Sydney whisper-yelled in disbelief as Juice made his way closer to the intimidating blonde with dark makeup and facial piercings. "There's no way she'd go for him." She shook her head.

Tig leaned into her neck, closing his eyes as he listened to the soothing sound of her voice - even when she was trying to tell him that he was wrong. "Just watch." He chuckled, kissing her jaw as he squeezed her knee.

"You think you got me beat, Sergeant?" She rasped at his lips with a teasing smile.

"Oh Princess… I know I do." He smirked.

Sydney's lips curled up as she lifted her leg, pressing the sole of her shoe against his chest and pushing him away from her playfully, spilling her drink as she slid backwards against the armrest.

Tig laughed and shook his head as he swiped her glass, holding it to her lips as he poured the remaining contents down her throat before setting the glass on the table behind him. "You know." He turned his attention back to her, grabbing her foot and slipping one of her shoes off. "I remember these…" He held the white shoe up as he examined it, smirking at her as his mind drifted back to that day at the picnic table.

"I think you'll have to remind me." Sydney grinned as she leaned into him, rubbing her foot down the inside of his leg.

"I think." His voice dropped to a low, smokey whisper. "It went a little something like this…" He grasped her calf lightly, slipping the shoe onto her delicate foot and buckling it, just as he had that very same day.

"Yeah…" Sydney moaned lightly, closing her eyes as she shivered, feeling the same nervousness that she had all those weeks ago.

"Then this…" His hand trailed up her smooth skin as he leant closer and closer. "And then it should've gone like this…" He brushed her nose with his, slowly turning his head before he felt his lips meeting hers in a gentle, tentative kiss - exactly like it would've gone that day.

All of the worries and doubts and discomfort in Sydney's mind disappeared. The scene surrounder her went black and the noise in her ear blurred as she was taken back to that day. She could feel it - the sun on her skin, the sound of the guys working in the garage behind them, the feeling of Tig's hand on her thigh.

"Damn, Princess." The obnoxious voice pulled Sydney from the slice of heaven that she'd managed to find among the chaos. Her fist balled in Tig's shirt as she felt her chest filling with an overwhelming frustration before she even looked up - knowing exactly who she would see. The innocent and hopeful butterflies behind her belly button were replaced by a deep resentment as she looked into Tig's apologetic eyes.

"Shot to the leg… Laid up with a man. I barely recognize ya." Tank mused as he plopped into the vacant armchair across from them, holding a towel to his bloody nose.

Sydney could feel her legs beginning to vibrate as she stifled her breath to try and control her heaving chest, which only served to double the pain that she had already begun to feel in her leg. She felt Tig's grip on her leg getting tighter in his own anger, which miraculously was the only thing that had her keeping her cool - she needed to be the one to shut this down, not him.

"Could still kick your ass." She replied smugly, digging her heel into Tig's calf to keep him at bay. "Maybe then you'd recognize me."

"You missed one hell of a fight, Kitty Cat." Donut smirked at Sydney as he dried off his muscular upper body which was glistening with sweat, taking a seat on the other end of their couch as Cobra, Chibs, Yates, and a few Nevada guys joined their circle.

"I'll get my own." Sydney replied distantly, not breaking eye contact with Tank.

"Can't do shit without those legs." Tank scoffed, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the ground by her feet. "I know you like using those legs on me…" He taunted.

At the perfect moment, Cherry stumbled into the middle of the confrontation - effectively tabling the explosion that was about to come from Sydney and Tig.

"Sorry…" The little brunette looked around awkwardly, realizing that she had interrupted something. "Uh, Sack's got somethin for you." She nodded to Sydney.

Sydney's brow creased lightly before she remembered the blonde man telling her that he would be on the lookout for something stronger to help her with the pain - which was exactly what she needed right now if she was going to get through the crash that was to follow the burst of adrenaline. She nodded, using her last bit of strength to push herself to her feet so that she could get herself to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tank laughed as she got up to walk away, kicking back in the leather chair with a smug smile as she backed down from the challenge before he was startled by a loud crunch and a wave of pain, flying back in the chair as a warm sensation trickled down his neck.

"The hands still work okay." Sydney smirked as she sucked the blood from her finger, revelling in the barrage of whoops, hollers, and cheers before turning to follow Cherry, leaving Tank with blood gushing from his now broken nose. Now she had the strength that she needed to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Cherry brought Sydney through to the kitchen, away from the hoards of bikers who were still reeling over her sneak attack. She turned to face the blonde woman, looking around to be sure that nobody was in earshot as she looked down at her palm and opened it slowly to reveal the two large white pills.

"Oxy?" Sydney hadn't at all expected narcotics, but she figured that she was going to need to be carried to bed anyways, and she would rather look like she was being carried to bed because she was too intoxicated than because she couldn't walk on her own.

"He said that it would help…" Cherry looked up at her tentatively. "With the pain." She nodded to her leg sympathetically.

"Yeah… It will." She nodded to Half-Sack's girlfriend gratefully. "Thanks."

Cherry nodded, taking her leave hesitantly before stopping over the threshold, looking behind her as she decided to go for it. "You're strong… Gonna be a good addition to the club one day." She nodded with a smile, turning to walk away more confidently this time. "Oh!" She ran back, swinging off the doorframe. "Sack put a bottle of Patron in the fridge for you." She winked.

Sydney chuckled, smiling at the Nevada girl. Normally, the words of a croweater wouldn't have held much weight, but Cherry was a smart girl and she had grown up around the club, as Sydney had - so she knew that if Cherry could see she belonged in the club, that she was doing something right.

Happy waltzed into the kitchen in search of Sydney after the uproar he'd heard from the corner of the room where Tank had been left bloody, stopping when he saw her standing in the kitchen with her head tilted back and a bottle of tequila to her lips. "The hell you doin?" He asked with a stern scowl.

"Taking my medicine." She smiled sarcastically.

Happy's scowl only got deeper with her answer. He knew that something wasn't right, but he couldn't figure out if it was his head or his heart telling him that. He walked up to her slowly as he stared her down with the demanding black gaze that always managed to get answers from her, but tonight he got nothing. He looked over her, hoping that maybe if her eyes wouldn't tell him what was off, something else would. That was when he noticed it, the gleaming bare skin between her collarbones.

"Where's your necklace?" He nodded.

Sydney remained silent, staring up at him with a hardened gaze as her fingers stroked down the cross around her thumb.

A look of shock came to Happy's face when he looked down at the ring on her finger, remembering Tig clutching his chain at the table earlier. "I guess he's treating you good then." He commented with a formal nod of his strong chin.

"What can I say?" She mused. "The man handles his problems well."

"You aint a problem." He shook his head.

"That's not what you thought when I was alone in a hospital bed." Her voice dropped to a volume just above a whisper as her lip began quivering.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head when he saw her getting upset again. "I-"

"There's no apology that will ever take back what you said." Sydney swallowed the crack in her voice as she seethed the angry words.

"I didn't mean what I said." He rebutted quickly.

"Doesn't matter." She shook her head. "You were right. I don't need you anymore." She took a step towards him. "I have an old man now." Another step. "So why don't you do what you're good at, and leave? After all…" She reached up, stroking the charter flash on his chest with her thumb that adorned Tig's ring. "That's what Nomad means, right?" She rasped tauntingly.

Happy shook his head, reaching for her hand before she swiped it away and slapped him harshly across the cheek.

The bald man winced, keeping his head turned to the side as she stood before him while his face stung almost as badly as the expression on her face did. He had always known that the fire behind her eyes was a powerful blaze, but he hadn't known just how powerful until this moment: when he was the one feeling the flame.

Song for this chapter:

Bang Bang - Kieran Mercer