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General trigger warnings for this story: Language, smut, mentions of rape, abuse, drug use/overdose, violence/death.

CHAPTER 58: THE REBUILD

"Hey, we need to talk." Jax panted as he stood outside of the van where Sydney sat in the driver's seat with her window rolled down and a cigarette in her hand, looking over his shoulder as Laroy pulled up behind them in his black Escalade.

"Have anything to do with why you wanted to see me this morning?" Sydney didn't move her eyes from the side mirror where she watched Opie, Tig, and Bobby standing at the back of the van loading the AKs into the crates in preparation for the hand off - bringing the cigarette to her lips and taking a long drag.

"Yeah." He grimaced.

"I'll send Laroy to you with the cash." She blew the smoke out of the side of her mouth. "You bring it to me while they're loading everything up."

"Got it." He nodded.

"The hell's all this-" Bobby scowled as his eyes scanned the back of the van before he was cut off.

"Don't worry about it." Tig hushed, continuing his job as he looked toward the front of the van to be sure that Sydney hadn't heard.

"Well, well, well." Laroy crooned as he walked up to the van. "If it aint the Cali Queen finally makin an appearance."

"If I gave it all up right away, you wouldn't come back for more." Sydney gave a forced smile, she could tell by the tone of his taunt and the sour expression on his face that this was not playful banter, this was a warning.

"I aint usually a patient man." He raised his brows. "Especially when I keep givin chances that I aint wanna be givin in the first place, and you keep blowin them…"

Sydney bit her tongue and fought the urge to roll her eyes through his lecture, leaning out the window and giving a flirty wave to Teaj when she caught him winking at her through the mirror.

"About my patience…" Laroy warned her again, raising his voice as he stared her down until she slumped back into her seat and looked up at him.

"Yeah, yeah." She responded apathetically. "We had a little problem." She lifted the hem of her dress, showing off her battle wound. "I'm here now, no need to get your panties in a bunch."

The gang leader's eyes widened in shock when he saw the severity of her injury, knowing by the size of the wound that it had to have been a bullet. He looked back up, meeting her pale green eyes where he looked at her with both concern and question. Apparently the Niners weren't the only ones that SAMCRO had pissed off and sent her to deal with...

"Don't worry, Mr. Wayne. There's still plenty of me to go around." She winked. "You can give the money to my VP, he's good with his hands." She purred, looking away from him with a smirk.

Laroy scoffed as he jerked his head away, stalking towards the back of the van where he took his frustration out on his men - ordering them to load the crates faster before he grabbed the black bag containing the discounted amount from the front seat of his SUV and threw it at the blonde man.

Jax glared at the taller man, his gaze lingering as he strutted back towards the van, climbing into the passenger seat where he unzipped the bag and tossed it aside. He scowled when he looked up to see Sydney staring ahead distantly in some sort of trance - not acknowledging his presence in the slightest.

"Got somethin on your mind?" He mused with a raised brow as he slid a cigarette into his mouth.

"A reconciling…" She muttered, still not being pulled from her thoughts.

"Between?"

"My past and my future..." She squinted as she nodded slowly. "What'd you have to tell me?" She finally shook her head, focusing her eyes on the worried man to her right.

"Before it was ask… Now it was tell." Jax grimaced, choosing to ignore her display of mild insanity.

"Go on." She nodded.

"I didn't want Ope on this hit…" He admitted regrettably, looking away before she could chastise him. "I know, okay. I don't need to hear it."

"Why not?" She stayed calm. On any other day, she probably would've been more concerned with Jax going against the decisions of the club yet again, but she had more important things than old news on her mind today.

"Guess I just didn't want him to get pulled in like I did… He's not ready."

"Admitting that you weren't ready now?" Sydney smirked.

"Not at all." He chuckled. "But I'm here now…"

"You don't think Opie will show up the same way?"

"I haven't told you what happened yet…" He grimaced. "Ope choked… That's why I didn't want him on it. I knew he wasn't ready." He shook his head angrily.

"What the fuck happened?" Sydney didn't understand, if Opie had failed to carry out the hit, then how did they manage to get the guns?

"Bobby pulled it. He's gonna tell Clay that Ope did it…"

"Jax." Sydney groaned. "This is a mess." She ran her hands over her face.

"I know… But maybe this aint so bad." He shrugged. "Think of it this way: Clay stays happy and Ope gets what he wants - the payout. He knows he can't handle the heavy shit so he'll stay far away from it in the future."

"Or he feels the need to prove that he can and he pushes even harder."

"Yeah…" Jax scoffed when she killed his optimism. "Or that…"

"Guess we'll see…"

"So how would you've done it?" He smirked over at her.

"Made him a better offer, told him the feds were watching, gave the wrong address, said Juice's intel was bad..." She rattled off just a few of her ideas easily.

Jax snickered, shaking his head. "This is why we need you around." He smiled, giving her a nod of respect before he slid out of the passenger seat, taking the bag of cash with him.

Tig drove the van through the tall redwood trees while Sydney stared out the window silently, as she had the entire ride since she'd carried out her hit. "Come on babe, I took the long way through the trees just for you." He teased, jostling her knee lightly.

"Sorry." She apologized weakly, shifting her distant stare from the road ahead, to the trees beside her.

Tig's eyes widened and his brow raised. "You uh, you okay?" He looked over at her with concern.

"Just thinking."

"You're scarin me." He joked, hoping that the lighthearted approach would get more information from her.

"I just feel… Different." She nodded slowly. What she was feeling wasn't shock, it was a revelation; the revelation that this time, she'd gotten what she wanted, and she did it on her own - not with Happy's help or her dad's permission. She hadn't avenged the SAMDINO Princess or the Cali Queen, she had avenged herself - Sydney Harding.

"Hopefully not different enough that you realize you're too good for me." He chuckled, sliding his hand into hers.

"I could never feel that different." Her lips curled up, placing her other hand over his as she ran her thumb across his knuckles where she examined his rings, looking up just in time to catch the road sign for Highway 1. "Where are we going?" She scowled with excitement behind her eyes.

"To get tacos." He smirked.

Tara walked through the hospital halls, the sound of her white tennis shoes echoing against the tiles as she stopped by room after room, completing her rounds until she finally reached her last stop of the day: Abel. She smiled as she approached the clear incubator, scowling once she saw that it was empty. That could only mean one thing… Gemma. She took a deep breath as she prepared herself for another interrogation, smiling politely as she entered the room and walked straight towards the clipboard in hopes that if she looked busy, she would be left alone.

Gemma watched Tara as she pretended to be studying the notes in front of her, smiling as she turned her attention back to her grandson. She knew that she'd succeeded in getting her point across this morning, there was no need to beat a dead horse.

Once Tara no longer felt the glare of the matriarch, she looked at the wholesome scene out of the corner of her eye: Gemma, caring for Jax's son… Wendy's son… The son that should be hers. That was when it hit her: what she needed to do to prove that she could be a good old lady for Jax… She needed to be a mother; resilient and fierce like the woman before her - that was the only way she would earn her respect.

Sydney sat in the passenger seat with a giant smile plastered on her face this time. She was buzzing with excitement as Tig drove them to their mystery destination, complete with a giant box of tacos and a pint of strawberry-lemonade sorbet.

"There's that smile I like to see…" Tig grinned, reaching over and running his thumb down her chin as he turned her to face him.

"You really outdid yourself, babe." She shook her head as she scanned the sides of the road for any clues about where they were going.

"You don't even know where we're goin yet." He chuckled.

"I don't have to." She smiled softly, lacing her fingers in his.

Tig smiled as the warmth of familiarity spread through him, providing him the relief he so desperately needed to be able to accept that Sydney was okay and that she wasn't permanently damaged from the bullet that he'd failed to shield her from.

"Shit." He pulled his eyes away from her captivating gaze once he realized that they were getting close. "Close your eyes, and hold on." He reached over and pulled a bandana from the glovebox, dropping it in her lap before returning his hand to the wheel.

Sydney scowled when the printed polyester landed in her lap, holding it up and looking at him incredulously. "What?" Tig groaned impatiently. "I don't trust you."

"You really want me to blindfold myself?" She laughed.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" He raised a brow.

Sydney shrugged smugly, doing what she was told and wrapping the black fabric around her eyes where she tied it behind her head just in time.

Tig breathed a sigh of relief as he turned the van into the park entrance off of the main road, driving past the small parking lot. "Hold on." He reminded her, grabbing her hand and guiding it towards the handle above her head.

Sydney whimpered when his hand made contact with hers so unexpectedly, feeling his forearm graze across her chest - the blindfold heightening every single one of her senses.

Tig smirked when he saw her cheeks reddening, shaking his head with a chuckle as he began descending the steep and bumpy hill as the paved road turned to dirt.

"Jesus christ." Sydney groaned as she leveraged her other arm against the seat and did her best to keep the food balanced on her lap. "Are you driving us down a fucking cliff?"

"May as well be." Tig chuckled, quickly bringing the vehicle to the bottom where he backed onto the empty beach. "Okay now." He instructed. "I need you to stay right here, and don't turn this down." He cranked the volume on the shitty stereo in the old van.

Sydney shook her head in confusion, wondering what on earth he could be up to. "Uh, o-oka-" She was cut off by his lips crashing into hers before she could ask any questions, the unexpected sensation shocking her and bringing a blush to her cheeks once again.

Tig hurried to get everything set up before their food could get cold, hoping that the sound of the blaring rock music was enough to mask the sound of the rolling waves and the banging around that he was doing in the back of the van while she sat only a few feet away at the front. Once he was finally satisfied, he made his way back around to the passenger side, pulling her door open and pressing his lips against her cheek.

"Gotta do one more thing." He spoke into her ear so that she would be able to hear him over the music, not wanting to give up any clues just yet - reaching for her purse where he found the gauze, medical tape, and tensor bandage. "Can I?" He placed the soft material against her leg so she would know what it was that he was asking.

Sydney shivered when he touched her so gently, whispering his requests into her ear so softly. "Mhm." She hummed, trying as hard as she could to keep the moan out of her voice.

Tig smirked when she started squirming. He hadn't at all intended for the blindfold to serve any other purpose than to conceal what he'd had planned for her, but he couldn't help but pat himself on the back for the inadvertent turn on - seeing her hot, bothered, and unable to hide it.

"I'll be gentle." He brushed his lips along her jaw as his fingers trailed between her thighs lightly, dragging them all the way down to her ankle where he lifted her leg and rested it onto his shoulder.

Sydney bit her lip, containing her smile as he continued to tease her with the unnecessary position, spreading her legs before him.

Tig froze when he got an eyeful of the tiny scrap of white lace covering her underneath her dress, sucking in a deep breath as he tried to keep himself focused. "Thought you'd need more room." She explained innocently, but her smirk was pure evil. She hadn't even needed to see his face to know the effect that she had on him.

He just shook his head and rolled his eyes, clearly he didn't have as much of an upper hand as he thought he did - but he was going to get it. "Hold this for me." He took her hand, dragging it down her body slowly until her fingertips reached the edge of the gauze that he was holding over her wound. "Tight." He ordered.

"Tight… I think I can do that…" She rasped suggestively as she slid forward, the tiny dress pushing further up her thighs.

"I know you can, baby." He nodded with a growl in his voice, moving on to the tape where he peeled up a strip and tore it off with his teeth.

"Open." Sydney heard as his fingers grazed her pouty lips, parting them as he slid the strip of tape between her teeth, the tip of his finger grazing the tip of her tongue.

Once Tig ripped off the fourth and final strip of tape, he began securing down the gauze - taking each strip out of her mouth slowly, letting his fingers tangle with her tongue before dragging them down her lips. On the last one, he let his wet digits fall to her chest, listening to her whimper as the cool breeze rushed over her.

"I think we need one more…" He pondered tauntingly before he grabbed the tape and tilted her head back, holding her chin firmly as he slid the end of the roll into her mouth and pulled, his eyes rolling back as she whimpered in his grip. "Better." He praised as he placed the final piece on, circling her waist as he pulled her flush against him so that he could apply enough pressure to properly adhere the bandage without hurting her.

Sydney expected to feel pain when she realized what he was doing, but instead of a grunt or a cry coming from her lips as he applied the pressure - she heard a moan as her barely covered crotch ground against the prominent bulge in his jeans.

Tig's blood ran cold when her heavenly whimpering hit his ears even above the music. He slowly let her go, fighting the urge to give in early - but he knew that anticipation was what she thrived off of - and that was what he was going to give her.

He wrapped the tensor bandage around her leg agonizingly slow, letting his fingers wander and his grip linger until he was finally finished. He secured the cloth in place tightly with the silver pins, sliding one hand under her thigh while trailing the other hand up to her ankle where he lowered her leg from his shoulder and began to pull away.

"Don't stop." Sydney begged shakily, feeling her entire body trembling with anticipation.

Tig obeyed immediately, letting himself give in as he wrapped her leg around his hip and squeezed her thigh as his other hand firmly grasped the back of her neck and pulled her to his lips where he devoured her sweet mouth.

Sydney moaned freely when he finally kissed her exactly the way she'd wanted: slow, sensual, dirty - the kinds of kisses that always led to more. She gripped at his shirt, balling it in her fists as she pulled him closer and ground her pelvis against his.

"Now?" He chuckled.

"I need you." She nodded desperately with a pout in her voice.

"It'll ruin your surprise…" He warned, attaching his lips to her jaw where he suckled lightly, moving to the sensitive spot below her ear.

"Then keep my blindfold on…" She moaned.

Tig smirked against her neck, feeling his arousal doubling as her erotic words pumped all of the blood in his body straight to his dick. "You don't even know where we are… There could be tons of people around, watching you right now - hot, wet, and begging for me." He breathed the taunting words in her ear as he began nipping at her neck.

"I don't care." She threw her arm around his shoulder, digging her nails into the thin cotton of his black t-shirt. "As long as I have you…"

"You naughty girl…" He grinned, not pulling away from her neck as he moved his hand from it to undo his belt buckle. "How did I get so lucky?" He asked as he pulled her to the very edge of the seat, holding her tightly against him as he pulled her panties to the side.

"Because you do things like this." She choked out as he lined himself up with her slick entrance.

"You deserve the world, angel." His smooth voice hit her ears right as he pushed inside of her, making her cry out as she clutched to him - her head rolling back as her inner muscles relaxed around him.

"And you give it to me." She whimpered, hugging him tightly as she slid forward until he was full sheathed inside of her, listening to him groan in response as his grip tightened around her waist.

"Not nearly enough…" He shook his head, placing his hand on her neck where he tilted her lips up towards his and kissed her passionately as he began to make love to her.

Sydney moaned and mewled softly with every slow, deep stroke - her eyes rolling into the back of her skull even behind the bandana covering them. Even without her sight, she could see clear as day that this was more than just sex - she could feel everything; every last bit of tension that she was harbouring being released as he brought her to the blissful peace that she had been missing. It wasn't like they hadn't had sex, but their makeup period had been cut drastically short by her injury - and her injury had drastically changed the way they that had sex.

"I love you." She cried out, clutching to him as she felt her body getting tighter and tighter, the hot tingling of her orgasm building in her core. "I wanna see you…" She whined, holding on for as long as possible. "When I cum… I wanna see you."

Tig ripped off the blindfold, filling her eyes with the one sight that she would've given anything to have as her last: his blue eyes, staring into hers longingly with his pupils blown out as he showed her just how much she loved her.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he shook his head in admiration, resting his forehead against hers as he brought them both to their releases at the same time, panting as he guided her backwards so that they could come down.

Sydney lay with her head resting against the armrest of the driver's seat, staring at the upholstered ceiling as her head span and the loud music filled her ears while Tig lay slumped over, still inside of her as he rested his head on her chest and she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Still don't know where we are?" He asked as he lifted his head and lowered the volume.

"No." She smiled bashfully. "I was only looking at you…"

Tig felt a genuine smile coming to his lips. "Close your eyes." He pressed a kiss to her warm skin, straightening up where he got himself situated before doing the same to her.

"Are we at the beach?" She asked excitedly once she was focused on her surroundings instead of on him - hearing the crashing waves and the seagulls instead of his voice, smelling the salty air instead of his cologne.

"I don't know… Are we?" He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, lifting her from the seat and lowering her to the ground where her bare feet sunk instantly into the sand.

"I think we are." She grinned, feeling her happiness bubbling in her chest.

"I think you might be right… But you need to keep your eyes closed a little longer." He chuckled as he held her hand, guiding her to the back of the van. "Okay, you can look."

Sydney snapped her eyes open eagerly, but she was completely taken aback by the sight before her. "Wow…" She blinked a few times, trying to catch her breath from the wave of emotion she was hit with. She thought that the beach was a surprise enough, but what she was truly surprised by was the amount of effort and thought that he had put into what she was looking at. Never in a million years had she expected the romantic scene of the van-turned-bed, backed onto the beach so that they could stare out at the ocean - complete with the dinner she'd been craving all day, a sweet dessert, and a dozen yellow roses.

"Now this has gotta be the proposal." She scoffed, looking up at him with a smile.

Tig chuckled, looking down at the sand bashfully. "You like it?" He looked back up, squinting in the sun.

"Do I like it?" She asked incredulously as she shook her head, still in awe that he had managed to pull this off - having hidden everything in the back of the van just feet away from her. "Baby… I love it." Suddenly she felt an overwhelming amount of guilt creeping in, filling the dark and dangerous crevasses of her mind that he had only just cleared out minutes ago. "But… You don't have to do all of this… Not for me." She started shaking her head rapidly. She didn't want him to feel like he had to bend over backwards - be someone that he's not - just for her; the person who less than twenty-four hours ago was doing drugs behind his back, and less than two weeks ago was climbing into bed with his brothers.

"Don't." Tig shook his head, grabbing her face in his hands. "A few days ago, you told me that you wanted me to know how much you wanted me back." Tig thought back to the emotional night in the hospital, momentarily feeling his own guilt over how poorly he'd handled the situation - taking off like a pussy when she needed him most. But he shook the thought away, today he was righting that wrong. "This is me showing you how thankful I am. I know that shit aint easy to earn with you…" He scoffed, still having a hard time understanding how he'd managed to score a second chance with her. "And I'm not gonna take it for granted."

Sydney had no choice but to trust the blaring sincerity behind his eyes. She brought her hands up to his, stroking them gently as she nodded. "Thank you…"

"Don't thank me. Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"I'm not special enough to deserve all of this as a thank you." She rolled her eyes with a playful smile.

"There aint a person in the world more special than you." Tig assured her. Part of him felt guilty for robbing her of the confidence that she'd had when he met her - but the other part of him selfishly clung to it because even in his darkest hours, it was the most undeniable proof he had that she loved him.

For the first time in her life, Sydney actually found herself resenting the fact that she had grown up with men. She was so convinced that after twenty-two years of watching the men she knew get bored of their women, that the same would happen to her. The SAMDINO guys had always told her that she was far too high maintenance and that only a special man would be able to handle her, and until recently she had always taken pride in that. But since meeting Tig, she worried that being too high maintenance; too much to handle - would drive him away, that it was too much to ask from the life of a biker. But as he had so many times, Tig had managed to prove her wrong - prove that he was the special man who could handle her, that he wanted her - all of her. Just like she wanted all of him.

Song for this chapter: No Flockin - Kodak Black