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General trigger warnings for this story: Language, smut, mentions of rape, abuse, drug use/overdose, violence/death.

CHAPTER 87: AN ANGEL'S TOUCH

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The only thing that was keeping Tig together in front of the crowd of horrified people as they laid their eyes on what he had done was Sydney's hand clutched tightly around his - even if he knew that it was just for show. He finally willed himself to meet Clay's eyes - hoping that his would say all of the things that he still hadn't been able to process in the short time before he had to pull them away from the reminder of his failure, looking back down at his boots.

Any relief that Clay might have felt from the regret in Tig's eyes was trumped by the hate in Jax's as he glared at him from under Opie's crushing weight where he supported him on his way back to his vehicle. He knew exactly what had happened, just like Sydney had said he would.

Hale felt a crease in his forehead forming when he watched the tense exchange between the two men - wondering if maybe the inside job hadn't been as 'inside' as he'd previously thought… He turned his attention away from the internal beef, ready to take on some internal beef of his own as the black car arrived on the scene, carrying the evil bitch who dared to show her face.

Stahl braced herself on the doorframe as she pulled her shaky body up out of her seat and forced herself to look at the mess she had made - never having expected that it would end this way.

As Hale watched her lay her eyes on what she had caused, he realized just that - that she had caused this. "I told you this shit would go bad." He sneered as he walked up on her, losing control of his temper that he had been allowing to build for far too long. "This blood is on you."

"Back off, Hale." Lemmings stepped between them - quick to intervene once he saw where this was going, but he was stopped by a shockingly hard punch to the face which sent him flying backwards and tumbling to the ground.

Stahl said nothing - offering no help to the man who had defended her, and no answer to the one whom she'd been defended from. She just stood frozen in place as she watched the paramedics finally cover the body - protecting the innocence that once was Donna Winston.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into the cool night air that instantly became suffocating, hauling herself back into the safety of the car.

Even in the sorrowful situation, Sydney couldn't help the twinge of a smirk that tugged at her lips when she watched Hale deliver the impressive blow - but her amusement was short-lived as her eyes landed on Clay where he stood across the street with guilt oozing from every cell in his body.

She glared at the man who was responsible for this - the man who had kept this from her, shaking her head slowly before she was interrupted by the hairs on the back of her neck twitching as she felt another set of eyes on her, turning her head slightly where she saw Hale's burning an angry hole right through her. He knew too. Between the club and the cops - they would never survive this.

Sydney may have looked away from Clay, but Clay hadn't looked away from Sydney as she turned her attention to the deputy that was giving her a look that was all too telling… But what was more telling to him was the fact that there was a look to be given in the first place - the deputy knew everything, and for some little blonde reason he was keeping his mouth shut about it.

"Flawless plan, huh?" He was pulled from his desperate theory to see the little blonde reason herself standing right in front of him with the same fiery green gaze that he wished he'd been smart enough to listen to the first time.

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Gemma paced anxiously around the living room as she waited for answers in the deafening silence - launching herself towards the front door when she finally heard the knob turning.

Jax ambled through the front door with his head down, taking a deep breath as he finally looked up to see his mother advancing towards him - letting the tears finally fall from his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I am so sorry, baby…" She whispered, holding her son close.

Jax buried his face in her shoulder, letting the red satin of her shirt absorb his tears until he managed to pull himself together. "Yeah." He sniffed, reluctantly pulling himself from her comforting embrace - he needed to do this on his own.

"How's Opie doing?" Her voice shook as she stroked up and down his arms.

Jax shook his head. "You should go home, mom."

"W-what about the baby?" She looked between Jax and Wendy who was sitting on the couch with her head down and her fingernails in her mouth - knowing that she needed to get to the bottom of this, but knowing better that if Jax hadn't been in a position to care for his son alone this morning, he definitely wasn't now.

"I can take care of my son." He nodded slowly as he let himself believe his own words - the only choice that he had left.

Gemma recognized the look in those blue eyes… That look of sincerity that his father used to look at her with. "You sure?" She narrowed her eyes softly.

"It's time for me to do this, mom." He reiterated, allowing more tears to come to his eyes.

"Okay, baby… Okay." Gemma nodded, brushing her fingers over his lips which he kissed gently - allowing her own eyes to flood with tears of pride for the son that she had once again managed to protect.

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Tig said nothing on the short drive home, remaining silent as he began to dissociate from everything going through his head - knowing that it would be the only way he would be able to get through what was to come.

Sydney stayed silent on the ride as well, but her movements were far more frantic as her eyes darted around and her hands shook while Tig's glossed over and his body went numb - searching her scattered brain for any possible way that she could get them through this. She pulled into the dark garage, neither of them making any moves to look at each other as they sat frozen before she finally willed her mind to quiet down long enough to turn the vehicle off.

Tig took the opportunity while she was distracted to get himself into the house, delaying the inevitable conversation as long as he possibly could. He heaved himself up the pathway, his boots dragging along the pavement under the weight that he could feel was getting heavier with each step that he took until he finally reached the front door - almost falling inside as his knees buckled the second that he crossed the threshold.

Sydney took a deep breath as she tilted her head back against the leather seat when he left the vehicle, inhaling a hefty dose of the Black Ice air fresheners that dangled from her turn signal; the scent that her dad had used her entire life - the scent that she only just now realized was the exact same scent that she associated with Tig. She felt her throat locking up as her chest began to ripple with unspent emotion, smacking her steering wheel in anger. She let a long, whining sigh leave her lips, feeling the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes before she shook them away and launched herself out of the car.

When she finally got inside, Tig was nowhere in sight. She took another deep, shaky breath before yanking the heavy sweatshirt over her head as she instantly began to feel suffocated by the tension - a feeling that she told herself she would never allow into her house again. She fought the angry tears as she made her way through each room, looking for Tig and coming up empty handed as the panicked discomfort continued to build in her chest until she finally found him in her bathroom with his head down and his hands clutching the edges of the counter.

Tig stood hunched over the sink with his ears ringing as he tried to will himself to look into the mirror - not hearing anything besides the sound of his heart pounding against his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut as he slowly lifted his head, but when he opened his eyes he didn't see his - he saw Donna's. He stumbled back in horror, ripping his eyes away and blinking a few times as he readied himself to look back, now knowing what the worst case scenario would be - but as he looked back, he realized just how wrong he had been as Juliet's beautiful aqua coloured eyes stared back at him this time, swimming with tears as she gazed upon the monstrosity that he had become.

It was a sight that he was not strong enough to bear - doing the first thing that he could think of to make it go away by smashing his head into the mirror, the pain as the glass cut into his forehead providing him a temporary relief from the emotional pain as the blood began trickling down his face.

But the relief was even more temporary than he'd hoped as a gasp brought him back to earth - turning to find the source of the noise which brought him face to face with yet another pair of horrified eyes. But this time they weren't Donna's or Juliet's, they were Sydney's - the worst ones yet.

Sydney stumbled back when he put his head through the glass - the overwhelming weight of every triggering sound and feeling going on around her all coming down at once as her teeth began chattering and tears began falling from her eyes.

Tig felt himself crumble as he watched her back away from him in fear the exact same way that Juliet had all of those years ago when she'd seen the real him. He shook his head as he fell to the ground as well, ignoring the sting from the shards of glass around him as his own tears began to fall. This was the man that he had always known himself to be - the man that Sydney had managed to delude him into thinking that he wasn't. But he was still the same man, and it was the same man that he knew would send her bolting the same way that Juliet had been smart enough to do the first time.

As Sydney's sobs began to reduce, she realized that she wasn't the only one on the ground crying as she lifted her head to see Tig curled up with his shoulders shaking violently. She felt her heart cracking behind her chest at the sight - pulling herself to her feet where she took a deep breath, wiped her tears, and rolled her shoulders back. She couldn't break, not now - not when she was so close. She needed to be strong for him - for them, that was what a good old lady did.

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Hale pulled his wagon onto Sydney's street, rolling to a stop a few houses down as he had been instructed. He exhaled sharply as he cut the engine, feeling his jaw tightening as he stepped out of the vehicle and made his way around the side of her house.

"Here." He flinched at the sound of her voice, realizing that he had walked right past her in the dark as she stood with her back against the fence. He felt his heart clenching for a few seconds as he laid his eyes on her battered, tear-stained face under the moonlight - but the sympathy was quickly erased as he remembered what she had done.

"Why did you ask me here?" He growled, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand angrily in her presence for long before she would make him see that what she had done was justified, and that was a line that he wasn't going to allow himself to cross - he'd flown close enough to the Sons as of late.

"You know what happened." She stated as she brought a cigarette up to her lips. "Where does that put us?"

"No, Sydney. I don't know. So why don't you fill me in?" He knew what he thought had happened - but he was begging for her to put those thoughts to bed so that they could focus on the real enemy here.

"I'm telling you." She nodded sorrowfully. "You know what happened."

Hale's eyes fell closed as dread spread through his entire body. "Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered shakily. "That day. When I drove you home. Why didn't you tell me? I mean… You knew…" He shook his head incredulously.

"The same reason that you didn't tell me." She looked at him sincerely. "David… We live in different worlds. No matter how good our intentions are, we will always be each other's bad guys." She breathed out the hard truth to the hopelessly hopeful man before her. "You do what you need to do to make things right, I will too." She nodded curtly before disappearing into the darkness.

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Jax laid on his back, staring at the ceiling fan with a grimace on his face as Wendy laid on his chest - feeling his grip getting tighter on her hand as he became more disgusted with himself by the second. He had allowed the build up of uncharted territory to get the better of him - destroying the relationship with Tara that he'd only dreamed of getting back for so many years, placing false hope in the actively recovering mother of his son, and ignoring the gut feeling that he'd had about Clay ever since he'd found his father's manuscript that had led to the death of his best friend's wife. And because of his inability to act - everything now felt wrong; the bed beneath him, the woman on top of him, and the man within him.

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Tig had no idea how long he had been lying on the bathroom floor, fully subscribing himself to the well-deserved beating that all of the voices in his head were giving him - only coming to when he felt himself being lifted off of the cold tiles. He couldn't see as he tried to focus his blurry eyes, giving up as he allowed his body to be guided out of the bathroom and into a soft chair. Once he was able to register that he was seated securely and was not going to fall from where the mystery angel had placed him, his reddened eyes continued to try to focus - recognizing nothing other than a white glow before he felt a soft hand on his face. He immediately let out another sob, trying to catch his breath as he recoiled from the gentle touch that he didn't deserve.

"It's okay, baby." Sydney whispered softly, pressing her hand back against his face as she sat herself down on his lap to try and ground him.

As soon as he heard her voice, his vision cleared up - the angel in front of him not fading as Sydney's face came into focus, gently bringing a warm cloth to the dried blood on his cheek.

"I'm gonna have to stitch it up…" She whispered as she examined the gaping wound on his forehead - knowing that calling Tara was out of the question.

Tig blinked his understanding, only able to move his eyes as his heart rate began to slow under the warmth of her touch spreading through his numb body while she tended to his wounds.

"I'll clean up the glass." He finally managed to utter by way of an apology under the endless layers of shock that continued to pile on as she delicately removed each and every drop of blood from his face with a tenderness that a fearful woman planning to make a run for it could never possess - a tenderness that even his demons couldn't deny.

"It's okay." She pressed her hand against his chest assuringly as her head shook slowly - lifting it after a few seconds so that she could thread the needle. "I'm sorry…" She winced as she brought it up to his skin with surprisingly steady hands, given the situation - pushing it through while he was distracted by her voice.

Tig didn't flinch as the comfort of physical pain returned, letting his eyes fall closed as he forced his mind to focus on her instead. He felt tears coming to his eyes once again, but they were hot tears this time - tears of deep, deep appreciation. She was his escape and his partner in crime all in one - knowing exactly which one to be when he needed it.

Sydney felt her own tears returning to her eyes as her hands began to shake, struggling to hold it together as she stitched up his wound as quickly as she could. She dropped the bloody needle down onto her vanity once she was finished, finally exhaling the breath that she had been holding the entire time before relaxing her exhausted body against his and lightly pressing her lips to his wound.

"I don't deserve you." He drawled the words that he had spoken many times during their short relationship - only this time, he knew that they were true.

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Songs for this chapter

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace

If You Let Me - Sinead Harnett ft. GRADES