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General trigger warnings for this story: Language, smut, mentions of rape, abuse, drug use/overdose, violence/death.

CHAPTER 96: SHOW AND TELL

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Gemma eyed the clock in the corner of her computer screen with a raised brow, chuckling as Sydney scurried through the office door where she had promised to help close out some end-of-day orders, with just seconds to spare. But her brow raised higher as the young girl completely avoided her playful eyes, shuffling to her desk where she put her head down in a way that she knew had nothing to do with the urgency that she'd entered the room with.

She scoffed as she continued to go ignored, returning to the paperwork that she had been filling out. "He say anything about that yet?" She asked knowingly as she scanned Sydney's blood red, corset-style top that nearly pushed her tits up to her ears - one of her many extra revealing ensembles as of late that she knew had nothing to do with her new job, and everything to do with her old man.

Sydney felt her grip tighten around the pen in her hand as she fought off the rush of defense before she managed to remind herself that it wasn't warranted - not against Gemma, at least. "If he did, I wouldn't be wearing it." She admitted begrudgingly, feeling Gemma's sympathetic gaze lingering on her. "I thought I was better than this…" She shook her head sadly as she ran her finger down Tig's ring that still sat on her thumb.

Sydney had never been above doing what she could to get a man's attention - years of relentlessly pestering Happy just to get some kind of reaction was a testament to that. But something about reducing herself to push-up bras and photoshoots with pornstars just so that Tig would look at her - even for a second - had her yearning for Happy's ignorance, because at least it was what she'd always known to expect.

"Nothing more humbling than love, baby." Gemma chuckled, trying to lighten the dreary atmosphere that accompanied the struggle of learning how to navigate a relationship through the first major club incident - the dreary atmosphere that she didn't miss - selfishly allowing herself to feel a little extra thankful that her and Clay had gotten past that point.

"He still not fucking you?" She questioned with a scowl when Sydney stayed silent. Surely Tig had blown his top by now. With the amount of shit that he had been harboring, she was surprised to have heard that he'd even managed to hold out the few weeks since the last time that they'd talked about it.

"Jesus Christ, Gem." Sydney muttered.

"Well?" The Matriarch urged.

Sydney finally met her expectant eyes, slumping back in her chair. "Fucking away our problems is a thing of the past, just like you wanted." She mused.

"He still coming home every night?" She narrowed her eyes slightly. She was sure that she knew the answer since Sydney's constant presence at Cara Cara and the clubhouse would've made his first vice nearly impossible - but she also knew by the inventory in the bar that he hadn't returned to his second.

Sydney nodded cautiously to the concern in Gemma's motherly tone - the only thing that had her able to sit through the invasive and humiliating conversation. "He won't sleep without me… Even when I fall asleep on the couch, he brings me to bed with him."

"Nightmares?" Gemma surmised easily, sad to hear that her old friend was still plagued with the awful restlessness, but once again, she greedily allowed herself to be glad that at least she still knew something about his habits.

But the selfish lock over her heart began to crack and an ache took its place as she looked over the terrified expression on Sydney's face as she nodded once again - an expression that she'd seen far too many times in her days as the President's wife.

"You talk about it?"

"Not really…" Sydney shrugged distantly. "He just apologizes - thanks me, tells me that he loves me." Her somber green gaze trickled downwards.

"And is that enough for you?" She narrowed her eyes pointedly this time.

"Care to elaborate?" Sydney sighed, throwing her pen down onto her desk as the familiar frustration resurfaced. She didn't take kindly to Gemma - or anyone, for that matter - trying to poke holes in her relationship on a good day, let alone when she was busy trying to repair the cracks in the foundation.

Gemma stared at her for a few seconds - her mind briefly flashing back to that night at Abel's homecoming party… That blatant defiance that Sydney had thrown in her face. "You know what I mean." She challenged.

"If what you're trying to ask me is if I'm okay with the fact that my old man went from being incapable of keeping his hands off of me, to being unable to look at me for any longer than ten seconds, then no. I'm not okay with it." She snipped. "But I love him, so if this is what he needs right now, then I'll stick it out."

"And what if you can't?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." She sighed, waving her hand in the air and returning to her stack of paperwork.

"Will you?" Gemma raised her brow.

Sydney ignored her penetrating gaze, along with the equally penetrating question. She knew that the older woman was just protective of the man that she'd known for decades - who she'd witnessed endure a world of pain, but there was nothing more that she could say to convince her. Like she had to with everybody else, she would just have to continue to prove it to her.

"You want kids?"

Sydney nearly laughed at that one, now finding herself almost thankful for Gemma's incessant badgering because it allowed her to become amused rather than insulted.

"I've never wanted kids." She scoffed as she finished scribbling a VIN number onto a service sheet. "But damn… Do I want his babies." She looked up with a grin.

"I'm serious." Gemma's expression didn't let up. She needed to know how serious she was about riding this out, because if Tig hadn't cracked under the pressure of pussy or booze, she knew that he had to be hanging by a thread - and Sydney was the only one who could keep that thread from unravelling.

"So am I." Sydney shrugged, trying once again to pull herself from Gemma's narrowed eyes.

"This is good." She decided after some thought. "For both of you - shows him that you aren't going anywhere."

"And how is it good for me?" Sydney scoffed.

"Forces you two to do something other than drink and fuck." Gemma closed with a playful smirk.

"Ouch." Sydney winced mockingly - grateful that, despite the endless prying, Gemma never made her feel as pathetic as she thought she'd become.

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Jax waltzed across the compound with a confidence that he was starting to understand Clay's addiction to. It wasn't the invincible smugness that often entranced freshly patched members, and it wasn't the arrogance that came with an officer's flash. Instead, it was a pure rush of certainty - certainty that he would get what he wanted, just as he had since the day he had found out the truth behind Donna's death.

"Hey, Ma. You still takin Abel to his appointment later?" He greeted his mother with the extra pep in his step that his newfound power provided him, proud to show her that he was just like his father. But the moment of pride was short lived as he looked over to see Sydney glaring at him, feeling his lip turning up at the mere sight of her.

"I'm going to get the kids." She told Gemma with her head down and she pressed a post-it note against one of the service sheets, rushing to her stiletto clad feet and digging through her bag for her cigarettes as she brushed past him on her way out.

Gemma sighed as she eyed her son knowingly - watching that light drain from his face as the harsh scowl set in. Now he looked just like his father.

"I see what you're doing." Sydney heard the venomous sneer in her ear as she strutted to her car.

"I could say the same to you." She scoffed, stopping and turning to face him once she reached the black vehicle. "But you're going to have to be more specific." She squinted theatrically.

"With Opie's kids." Jax clarified - spitting his disgust onto the pavement next to her feet. "Taking care of them so that you don't have to feel guilty because your piece of shit old man murdered their mother." He seethed.

The exposed nerve in the gaping wound of Tig Trager was one that Sydney had managed to patch over in the past months, allowing her previously erratic temper that he had so heavily preyed on as an outlet for his anger after the incident, to remain at bay.

"Or maybe…" She drawled as she dragged the red sole of her shoe through his saliva. "I just relate to a young girl who just lost her mother." That piercing green gaze flicked up and bore a hole straight through his facade as she climbed into her vehicle with the most sinister smirk that he had ever seen.

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Hale strolled out of the station with Rodriguez and Eglee in tow, joining them on a field training exercise in an attempt to keep his mind clear of the interaction that he'd had with his brother. But a crease formed in his forehead as he heard the rumbling of a Harley, squinting as he peered down the street and spotted Jax making a beeline straight for him.

He sighed, avoiding the knowing glances that he got from both Mark and Eglee - this was the last thing that he needed while he was trying to get himself back on the straight and narrow after the lines had become blurred thanks to the unholy trinity that had become the bane of his existence; Stahl, Sydney, and the Sons of Anarchy.

He met Jax at the curbside where his skeptical colleagues were out of earshot, glad that at least he was meeting with somebody who was on the same page that he was trying to get himself back on. "Heard Ope's comin back…" He greeted his former classmate awkwardly.

"Yeah. That's why I'm here." Jax told him, quickly standing from his bike and removing his helmet - the dreaded conversation wasn't one that he could risk being witnessed by the wrong eyes. "Look…" He began, begrudgingly allowing the regretful words that he'd pondered for the past ten weeks, to slip through his lips. "This guy's been through enough." He grimaced.

Hale's brow twitched as he tried to read between the lines that were being forced on him for the second time today. "Yeah…" He agreed wearily.

"So, whoever was responsible for killing Donna - you and me can't prove it." The blonde man declared with as much conviction as he possibly could whilst one lied through their teeth to the one person that could actually help them. "The suspicions that we have don't help Ope." He told him pointedly.

Hale blinked as he realized what he was hearing - that Jax was backing down, something that he so badly wished he could judge. "Well if he asks me, I'm not going to lie to him just because I can't prove it was Clay-"

"Run it through, man." Jax cut him off with a sigh. "What does it get anybody? It turns Opie inside out, and he loses the only family that he's got left." He stopped himself, shocked as the rehearsed words rolled easily off of his tongue in a way that he almost started to believe. "It puts Clay on the attack." He had to switch tactics - something that was more personal for the man in front of him, and less personal for the man within him. "He shits in Unser's ear? It's gonna blow back on you."

Hale looked back at Mark and Eglee where they stood at his Bronco, waiting for him to do what his job was as the Deputy Chief - to guide them. "Alright." He nodded. "I'll protect Ope - keep my suspicions to myself. But you've gotta do something for me." He watched as Jax's jaw twitched curiously. "Unser is in bad shape. This guy should not be on the job, and he's got another two months on his extension. After that? You've got to let him step down." If he was to let everybody think that he was a follower for the rest of the year, he was going to secure his opportunity to show them that he was anything but. He was a leader.

"I'll do what I can to make that happen." Jax agreed reluctantly to the terms that he wouldn't actually have to consider for at least another month, giving his new insurance policy a curt nod before taking off as quickly as he'd appeared.

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Sydney gasped studiously from the front seat of her car, dropping her half-smoked cigarette to the ground as Ellie and Kenny made their way across the elementary school parking lot that was littered with kids frantically searching for their mothers' minivans.

"Miss Eliana Winston!" She hollered at the out the open window. "Show me the outfit!" Ellie giggled as she placed her hand on her hip and strutted towards her favorite new babysitter, showing off the lilac coloured ensemble that finally fit her. "Strike a pose!" Sydney urged once Ellie reached the end of the makeshift runway, snapping a few pictures of the young girl's hip-drop with her phone as if she was paparazzi.

Kenny rolled his eyes at the girls as he climbed into the backseat with the heavy backpack slung over his shoulders. "Why doesn't grandpa pick us up?" He groaned.

"Honey." Sydney flipped her visor down as she swiped some clear gloss over her full lips before handing the tube to Ellie who did the same. "Grandpa doesn't even know what day it is." She snickered, catching the sadness on the young boy's face in the mirror as she went to flip it back up. "But." She added hopefully, looking between both Winston children's dismal expressions. "Dad will be home tomorrow." She reminded them.

"Daddy!" Both kids exclaimed in unison.

Sydney smiled, relieved that she didn't have to deal with trying to explain away Opie's absence to his grieving children much longer. "Now." She told them as she buckled her seatbelt. "Let's go make some cupcakes."

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Gemma tiptoed down the long corridor of on her way to the neonatal wing, wobbling as she balanced both herself and Abel in his carseat across the thin heels of her strappy sandals. She prayed as they approached the chapel that the baby wouldn't start crying, but as they successfully slipped past the room of worship in silence, she was met with a sinking in her heart that didn't come from a screaming infant. Instead, it came from the sight of her oldest friend, sitting in the red, velt lined room alone with his hands clasped as his head down - undoubtedly praying for release from the life that she had condemned him to.

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Sydney leant over her kitchen island with a grin on her face as she placed her final cupcake among the masses of orange, black, purple, and green frosted treats. "You guys are going to be the coolest kids at school tomorrow." She chuckled as she sucked a dollop of icing off of her thumb.

"We already are." Kenny beamed, flashing a grin that had been dyed green from the candy that he had shown more interest in eating than using to decorate.

"Oh yeah?" She chuckled.

"Yeah." Ellie added as she too finished decorating her final cupcake. "Everyone wants to be like you and dad."

Sydney smiled through the small ego boost, she was just glad to hear that in the small town, bullying didn't seem to be an issue. Despite what some of the parents may have thought about the bikers, they at least taught their kids how to respect them - even if it was purely out of fear.

"Hey!" Ellie screeched as Kenny reached over and dragged his finger through the spider web design that she had spent the last ten minutes perfecting - grabbing his arm as he tried to pull away and yanking him into an arm wrestle that she quickly won.

"No fair." Kenny pouted. "Do over."

Sydney grinned as they assumed the position, changing the spooky Halloween music that had been coasting through the speakers, to a soundtrack of a crowd cheering.

"In the left corner, we have reigning champion, Eliana Winston…" She rumbled in her best narrator's voice. "Standing at an impressive four-foot, four inches." Ellie waved for the 'crowd'. "And in the right corner we have Kenneth Winston, standing at a modest four-foot, one inch - but don't be fooled by his size, ladies and gentlemen! He is hungry for revenge." Kenny rolled his eyes, not bothering to feed into their game as he leant his small body forward - ready to take his sister down.

"Shake hands, opponents." Sydney ordered. "Ready up…" Her voice shook with anticipation as she watched their hands join. "On your marks… Get set… Go!" She hollered, watching as the power struggle began between the much bigger girl and her younger brother who was fighting as if his life depended on it - and was almost succeeding. "You remember what I taught you?" She narrowed her eyes at Ellie who she could see was struggling, almost sabotaging her own victory when she broke eye contact to look at her.

Ellie quickly remembered the technique that Sydney had shown her, locking her green eyes with her brother once again as she curled her wrist inward and pushed her arm outward - effectively slamming his against the marble.

"Oh my god! She takes him down! And the crowd goes wild!" Sydney yelled excitedly as she cheered for Ellie. "The first female champion that the International Arm Wrestling Association has ever seen!" She rounded the island and lifted Ellie's arm in the air in victory. "Eliana Winston!"

"Whatever." Kenny pouted, sliding out of his stool and making his way into the living room where he turned on the TV.

Sydney winked at Ellie as they shared a knowing glance. "Hey Ken, there's a new game there if you wanna try it…" She called to the sulking young boy whose eyes instantly lit up as he raced towards the Xbox. "Come with me." She whispered to Ellie as she led her down the hallway and into the laundry room. "I got you something…" She explained as she reached behind the washing machine, pulling out a sparkly pink backpack.

Ellie gasped, reaching for the bag with a squeal as she began jumping up and down. She couldn't believe it, her own backpack - one that she didn't have to share with her brother for the first time in her life.

Sydney chuckled, but she felt her throat beginning to lock as she pondered the truth to Jax's words, because there was a truth to them. This did ease her guilt.

"Big girls should have their own things." She told her thoughtfully as she petted the top of her golden head.

"But... I just had my birthday..." Ellie blinked cautiously. She'd learned not to get too excited about new things - because they always got taken away eventually. "And won't Kenny be jealous?"

"I'm sure he will just be happy that he doesn't have to carry around your butterfly notebooks anymore." Sydney winked, and Ellie knew that she was right. She slipped her short arms through the straps and the smile found its way back onto her face as she ran back to the kitchen and began filling her backpack with the things that now just belonged to her.

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Gemma waited nervously in the hallway outside of the examination room where baby Abel had just been seen for his final follow up with the surgeon that had operated on him the day that Wendy had prematurely rejected him from her crank-riddled body. She felt her heart starting to pick up as she watched the dark haired man explaining multiple things on a clipboard to Tara, tapping her foot as she tried to focus on her grandson, and not on his test results.

"He's perfect!" Tara exclaimed as she burst out of the room, feeling just as relieved as Gemma was.

A smile began to spread across Gemma's face. Of course he was. "The echoes?" She blinked, needing confirmation that he was finally out of the woods.

"Clean." Tara shook her head with an infectious giddiness. "CBC's, CMP's are all normal. His weight needs to come up a little, but other than that-"

"He's still real fussy with the feedings." Gemma sighed to the only person who she knew would understand.

"Could be the lactose… We-" Tara paused for a split-second when she saw it - the way that Gemma was looking at her; like she was a person, like she was family… "We could try soy based." She looked back down at her clipboard.

"I don't wanna turn him into a little vegan pussy." Gemma joked.

Tara felt a cautious smirk tugging at her lips, peering up at the older woman through her eyelashes as she jotted down the suggestion. "He can drink it in his wifebeater onesie." She joked back.

"Oh." Gemma's brows raised in amusement. "Dr. Funny." She sneered. "How's his sleep apnea?" She asked pointedly - she couldn't let Tara get too comfortable.

Tara sighed as she dropped her clipboard, but she didn't meet Gemma's pettiness with frustration or anger - she met it with a lightness.

"You're there pretty much every night." Gemma explained in mock-innocence.

"The times that I'm there, he's sleeping fine." Tara's lips flattened into a sarcastic smile as they kept up their frenemy charade.

"Good." Gemma nodded curtly, a trace of fascination on her lips before Tara's brown eyes fell to the baby boy that ignited a spark behind them - a spark that had Gemma thinking that maybe she could survive in this life after all... "You on the pill?" Tara sighed as she looked back up. "Just wondering." She clarified thoughtfully. "You got that look…"

"The aching, empty-womb look?" Tara chuckled.

"Somethin like that." Gemma smiled. It was a look that, like many others, she knew all too well - the look that had inhabited her own eyes since the day that she'd laid them on JT.

Tara's lip twitched as a theatrically inquisitive look painted itself across her face. "You think I'm using Jax to get knocked up?" She half-joked.

"Oh, Jesus." Gemma scoffed, grateful for the change of pace before she could dive too deep into the ache that she felt in her heart for the man that she'd loved and the son that she'd lost. "I hope not… If you're gonna trap someone, make sure they've got money." She smirked.

Tara couldn't take it any longer - the friendly joking, the underlying advice, the complete ignorance over what had gone down before Donna's death. "Where are you on this, Gemma?" She needed to know, once and for all. "Me and Jax." She clarified.

"You care what I think?" Gemma scowled as the familiar conversation began.

Tara thought for a second as the question hit her ears in the slightly higher pitched tone of voice that told her that this was a test - a test that she had failed once before.

"Jax does." She nodded.

Gemma tutted her tongue. She really was smarter this time… "You really want my advice?" She decided to go for the tactic that never failed her - a damning truth.

Tara took a second to consider what she was potentially getting herself into once again, nodding cautiously. She knew that this was what she wanted - what she had always wanted.

"Total disclosure." She explained the one thing that she knew Jax would never be able to give, and Tara would never be able to take - which was why they'd never worked in the first place. "The same thing that I told Syd and Tig - probably the only reason that they're still together." She nailed the coffin with the perfect example that she knew would hit home for the Doctor.

Tara's brows knit curiously. "What do you mean?" She and Sydney had grown incredibly close in the months since she had decided to devote her life to becoming an old lady, but for some reason, they never talked about their old men. She knew that Sydney and Jax had their differences for whatever reasons that they so desperately tried to hide from her, but that was no excuse for her not to mention Tig? Regardless, the odd pairing had shockingly become one of the most lust-worthy couples - next to Clay and Gemma - amongst the old ladies who only wished to get to a place that they had somehow been able to reach. This had to be the key…

"It's the only way it can work with you and him… You're too smart, too… Neurotic to live in the vague. He needs to tell you everything. No truth? No pussy. You draw the line."

Tara's eyes lit up with both wonder and horror as she took in the valuable new information and processed it as best she could. "I… I'm not sure I wanna know…" She stuttered, unsure if she was trying to convince herself, or if she just wanted to hear what was coming next…

"Then this will never last." Gemma confirmed with a nod, reaching down to the thick handle of Abel's car seat.

"D-Did John Teller tell you everything?" She stopped her, pouring her heart into the cautious question that she knew would produce one of two reactions.

Gemma stopped dead in her tracks as the innocent question punched her right in her defective heart, turning to face Tara as she allowed the sympathy to creep in. "You love the man…" She sighed. "You learn to love the club." She gave the first pure piece of advice under the tearful gaze of the woman so desperately and hopelessly in love with her son. "If you can do that? There's no truth that you can't handle." She nodded sincerely as she walked back up to her slowly, pressing a motherly kiss against her pale cheek - pulling away and leaving her stunned.

If Tara really loved Jax as much as Gemma thought that she did - loved Abel as much as she thought that she did - then she supposed that there would never be anyone more deserving of her first pure and proper blessing. It was clear that Tara wasn't going anywhere, and her junky scapegoat wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, so considering that she only had one chance to ensure that her son was loved by a woman who knew how to love him, she figured it was her motherly duty to teach his old lady a thing or two about her old man.

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Song for this chapter

Underappreciated - Christina Aguilera