this is me trying
chapter two: imprinting
seth
I raise my fisted hand to knock loudly on the red door of the small cottage in the woods. If you didn't know who lived here, you would probably not even know that there is a cottage this far off the road. It is immersed in the forest green trees and moss that Washington surroundings have to offer along with the peace and quiet of being out of the city.
The red door swings open to a fiery bronze haired girl with wide brown eyes. "How am I not surprised?" She smirks. "I am starting to think that you have some special ability to detect when I start cooking." She jokes. "Thank goodness I have started making extra for you. You and Jake are eating me out of a house and home."
I couldn't help but laugh, knowing that I did somehow subconsciously always know when Nessie was cooking. I absolutely love her food -everyone did. "As much as I do love your food and trust me, I do. I actually came here to talk to Jacob." I say.
Renesmee hums with twinkling eyes. "So no lunch?" She asks, already knowing the answer.
"Well, now that you mention it… Lunch would be amazing." I answer with a wide grin.
She laughs, rolling her eyes. "Come in, Seth. Jake should be home any second." A timer goes off in the kitchen and Renesmee runs to the kitchen in a flash. Perks of being half vampire. She didn't seem to have the grace and fluidity that the full vampires, like her family, have. But she still has inhuman speed and strength.
I walk into the cottage and close the door behind me. I move into the kitchen and take a seat at the table, looking into the kitchen where Nessie is finishing up. "Where is Jake, anyway?" I ask as I look over the wedding magazines and pictures scattering the top of the kitchen table.
"He went with Sam. He said something about stopping by Cade's house or something. I guess one of Cade's sisters is living there now." Nessie responds. "You can move that stuff off of the table." She says motioning to the wedding magazines and pictures. "Alice sent it to me. You know how it is." She laughs.
"Oh one of the Locklear triplets." I mumble in response to Cade's sister who Jacob went to visit. I follow Nessie's instructions and begin gathering the stuff in a pile before I set it aside.
Nessie looks up from her cooking, giving me a smirk. "Jake said you had a bit of a crush on one of the girls when you were younger." She teases. "Tatum, I think that's what Jake had said."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I had a crush on Tatum for years when I was really young." I try to emphasize that I was just a kid when I had this crush. "Tatum…" I don't finish my sentence as I try to formulate words to describe her before realizing there is no quick way to describe her. "She has been gone for years, though." I say after a moment of silence.
"So you don't have a crush on her anymore?" Nessie asks in disappointment. Nessie is a bit of a hopeless romantic as Jacob likes to say. She sometimes sounds like a little girl who believes in love at first sight and fairytales. She believes that every wolf will eventually find their imprint just as Jake had found his imprint in her. And although there have been many more imprints in the pack that we had originally thought there would be, imprinting is thought to be rare. The chances of me imprinting weren't very high. But it didn't stop Nessie from trying. She is always trying to get me to join dating apps or go on blind dates that she sets me up with. Only to get disappointed when I am not interested. Part of me hopes that Nessie is right, that every wolf will eventually get their imprint. But a majority of my conscious thinks that I am going to have to settle without imprinting.
"Nah." I say shaking my head. My response is truthful. Although my mom and Lily Lochlear joked about how strong my crush for Tatum was, my crush over the years has dissolved to nothing. She has been gone for too long. Who knows if she is even remotely the same person.
"What if you imprint on her?" Renesmee asks with a new found sense of hopefulness.
"Imprint on who?" Jacob calls out as he walks into the kitchen.
Nessie grins widely as her fiancé walks over to her and presses a kiss to her lips. "Hey, you." She says after their brief kiss. "Lunch is almost ready."
"Smells delicious." Jacob says before he tries dipping his fingers into whatever she is making. Nessie immediately swats him away before he can even touch the food, giving him a scolding look. Jake holds up his hands in defense and gives her an innocent looking smile. He presses a kiss to the top of her head before walking over and joining me at the kitchen table. "What was this talk of imprinting when I came in?" He asks, looking over to me.
I roll my eyes. "Nessie thinks I could imprint on Tatum." I say, making it clear in my tone that I am not convinced at all.
"It could happen." Nessie chirps from the stove. "Jake said we are going over to the Locklears for dinner tomorrow and she will probably be there. This could be it for you, Seth." She beams brightly.
"I don't know, Ness." I sigh. "It's not always that easy. Besides, Tatum might already be dating someone else."
"So?" Nessie shrugs, grabbing plates. "Laura had a boyfriend when Brady imprinted on her." She argues.
I don't respond partially because I know Nessie is right for that story and partially because I am not really in the mood to continue this conversation anymore.
Of course I want to be hopeful that I would eventually find my imprint like Nessie thinks. I have seen the beauty behind imprinting through the thoughts of my pack members. I crave to feel the same way, to find who my soulmate is. My other half. But I couldn't live in denial either. Not every story has a happy ending.
Nessie sets a plateful of food in front of me and Jacob before she moves to grab a plate for herself. "Thanks, Ness." Jacob says before digging into the food.
"Thanks, Ness." I agree before I too dig in.
Nessie comes back to the table and sits beside Jacob. It's quiet between the three of us as we devour our food. Only the soft sounds of chewing and forks hitting the plates. "Ness said you stopped by Cade's place." I comment in between chewing, breaking the silence.
Jacob nods his head. "Sam and I stopped by the Locklears first. Lily was concerned about Tatum staying at Cade's place. So we stopped by to make sure she was okay."
I feel an urge to ask how she is. Did she look the same? Did she act the same? Did she have a boyfriend with her? But I don't. I just nod my head and go back to eating my food.
"I told Lily I could bring pie for dessert tomorrow. Do you two have any preference on what kind?" Ness asks as the three of us finish our food and begin to clean up.
"Anything you make will be wonderful, babe." Jacob assures her as he wraps his arms around her waist. I wash over my plate in the sink as I listen to the two of them kissing. Damn, I really need to find a girlfriend and stop third wheeling all the time.
Once the meal is all cleaned up, Jacob speaks up. "Are you patrolling tonight?" He asks.
I nod my head. "Yeah, it's me and Quil. I am probably going to get the pre-teen drama recap for sure." I grumble. Quil imprinted on Claire eight years ago when Claire was two. He is in the best friend/big brother stage of the imprinting. And just like every other wolf that had imprinted, his imprint is all that he can think about during our patrol shift.
Jacob chuckles at my jab towards Quil's obsession with Claire. "It'll go by faster than you think. Besides, I'm sure Quil will keep you up to date about every little detail in Claire's life." Jacob jokes.
"I'm going to head out. I've gotta stop by my mom's place before my shift tonight. I will see you tomorrow at the Locklear dinner." I say as I move toward the door. "Thank you again, Ness. Lunch was incredible like always."
I hear a soft giggle and a 'you're welcome' as I open the door. I strip myself of my clothing before tying it to my leg. I phase quickly and begin running towards La Push at full speed.
Seth, man, where are you heading? Tyler's, our newest pack member, thoughts are the first I hear.
Shit, did you just have lunch at Nessie and Jake's place? Embry grumbles. No fair. I haven't had a good meal in weeks. It sucks living on my own when I can't cook worth shit. How come Nessie always makes you food?
I bark out a laugh. I guess I am just in the right place at the right time.
Lucky bastard.
Seth, man, we need to hang out again sometime. We need to get the whole pack together. Even the older guys. Tyler's whiny thoughts enter my head.
It takes everything in me not to think about my annoyance towards him. My goodness, I hang out with him one time and all the sudden I am superman in his eyes.
I make it to the woods in my mom and Charlie's backyard, thankfully not having any time to commit to any plans with Tyler. I've gotta go, guys.
I phase back and dress myself before emerging from the woods. I climb the stairs up to the house and knock on the door. It takes a moment but my mom answers the door with a welcoming smile on her face. "Oh, Seth, hun, it's so good to see you." She says wrapping her arms around me in an embrace. "You don't come visit me anymore." She complains.
I roll my eyes. "I've been busy, mom." I remind her. I did have a lot going on. Between patrolling and working shifts at Jacob's garage, I barely have time to sit down.
"I know, I know." She sighs, allowing me into the house. "I just wish you and Leah had a little more time for me."
I feel guilt tug at my heart. I should make more time to visit my mom. "How is Leah? Have you heard from her?" I ask as I follow her into the living room, where Charlie is lounging in the recliner with an empty can of Vitamin R in his hands completely asleep.
My mom and I take a seat on the couch. "I spoke with her yesterday. She is doing really good. She's been busy planning the wedding and all."
Leah had been in the pack for a total of 4 years before she stopped phasing and moved to Portland. Although her time in the pack was miserable for her, due to her history with Sam, good things did come to her from being a shape-shifter. After being in the pack for 3 years, she went to Portland for a weekend trip with my mom and imprinted on their waiter. Her imprintee, Peter, was everything she could have dreamed of and treated her like a true princess. They have been dating for three years now -one year of a long distance relationship and two years of living together in Portland. Peter finally popped the question two months ago and, of course, Leah said yes.
"Is she still coming in for dinner tomorrow?" I ask, curious. Usually when she came in, she would stay several days at mom and Charlie's place and would often come a few days early.
"No, I spoke with her just a few hours ago and she said she was not able to come anymore. Peter has to work. She suggested that she could come by herself but I don't want her to have to drive 5 hours each way by herself." My mom says, shaking her head. "She will probably be down for a visit soon though." She adds. "She really wants to see the Locklear girls. She hasn't seen them in ages."
I nod my head.
It only takes another moment before my mom starts on another conversation. "Guess who I saw at the grocery store today?" My mom asks with a grin on her face. She doesn't wait for me to answer. "Tatum." She responds for me. "And darling, she looks even prettier than she had three or so years ago -if that is even possible." She laughs softly. "She said she is going to try to make it to dinner tomorrow but she still has jet lag from all that traveling."
Every time we would have some kind of dinner together like we are having tomorrow, my mom would always ask Lily and Ben Locklear about their triplets and how they were doing. They would always talk about how Taylor, the middle triplet, was doing really well at school and how she met a guy in one of her classes. They would then ramble on about Tessa and how she was thriving in her job at the daycare in Port Angeles. Lily would swear that Tessa would be married to her boyfriend, Garrett, in just a few months.
But when the conversation moved to Tatum, that's where it settled down. It was clear that Ben was not understanding of Tatum's choices to pick up and leave the country after Cade's death. He would stress his worry about her safety and how she can be too friendly and gullible at times. Lily on the other hand would talk about the phone call that she received from Tatum where Tatum had described her adventures in the new country that she was in. But despite the unfazed surface level that Lily presented, I could tell that Lily too was not understanding of Tatum's aboard travels.
"Hopefully, Tatum can make it." My mom continues. "I know you would probably like to see her… Maybe catch up." She sounds hopeful. It's like she thinks I am still the five year old boy who chased Tatum around the woods with heart eyes.
"Yeah." I answer, noncommittally.
A snore sounds from Charlie's open mouth causing my mom to chuckle. "I am going to make myself a cup of tea. Do you want anything? Food? Coffee?" She questions, standing up from the couch.
"No, I'm good." I answer, but stand up with her.
"I can't believe you are turning down food. That's a first." My mom laughs as I follow her into the kitchen.
I take a seat at the table. "I just got back from Jacob and Nessie's place. Ness fed us a good meal. I'm stuffed." I insist, patting my full stomach for emphasis.
"How is Ness? Has she heard from her parents? Charlie hasn't received any calls from Bella lately." My mom says as she shuffles around the small kitchen, making herself tea.
"Ness is good. Wedding planning just like Leah." I say with a shrug. "And I think her parents are doing good. The last I heard about a week ago they are up in Alaska visiting some extended family. The rest of her family is still here. Alice is the wedding planner for their wedding. And from what Jacob has said, Alice has been keeping Ness really busy with all the wedding stuff."
My mom sighs. "I wish Leah would get a wedding planner. But she is a stubborn girl." I couldn't argue with that statement. My mom takes a few moments to finish making her tea before she walks over and settles in a chair beside me. "Have you put much thought into when you will stop phasing?" She asks quietly before she sips on her tea.
My mom has brought this conversation up a few times before. The conversations began when Leah had stopped phasing two years ago. I knew my mom wasn't happy with my decision to keep phasing therefore remaining unaging until I found my imprint or at least someone I loved. She truly wants me to find someone I love, but also wants me not to hold out hope that I might imprint. She wanted to watch me grow old and have a family. Not stay the same age.
"I don't know." I mumble looking at the wooden table top. I allow my eyes to follow the grain of the wood as I attempt to avoid my mother's eyes. I know she is probably giving me a sad look, trying to convince me to change my mind. "I haven't put much thought into. My decision really hasn't changed." I shrug.
"Oh, Seth." My mom huffs in frustration. "Imprinting is-"
"Rare." I interrupt her, having heard this conversation many times before from many different people and not just her. "But I am not giving up hope just yet. I am only 21. I look like I'm 25. I still have a few years before I need to start worrying about not phasing anymore." I argue.
My mom purses her lips, clearly not pleased with my answer. "I just worry, Seth." She mumbles.
I sigh. "I know. But I am fine." I stress to her. "I will know when the time is right." I assure her. "And I promise that I won't be unreasonable. I know it is not normal for every wolf to imprint."
"That's all I ask." My mom says, reaching over to grab my hand. "Just be reasonable."