this is me trying

chapter nineteen: horrible day

tatum

Today has been a horrible day. And I know it's only going to get worse with the family dinner I have with my sisters tonight.

Why has it been a bad day?

Well for starters, my car wasn't able to start for some ungodly reason. So I had to call someone to come jump start my car, which happened to be Jake. Seeing how stressed I was, Jake offered to drive me to work (which I was already late for) and drop my car off in the parking lot. A nice offer that I accepted.

When I finally showed up to work, I looked similar to a wet rat due to the pouring rain I had to endure trying to fix the car myself. I apologized profusely to my boss before trying to busy myself with my work tasks for today.

However, just when I got into my groove, Jake showed up at the front reception with my keys. He informed me that he was able to start my car up and has it parked in the parking lot. I thanked him, gushingly, before allowing him to get on with his day and me with mine.

When I returned to my cubicle, the two work gossips (Jessica and Katlyn) came over to see what the deal was with this new guy. There were wondering if I had found a replacement for Seth, which I quickly shut down. In the midst of the gossip, Linda, our boss, comes over to scold the three of us for not working.

Due to embarrassment of being caught up in the gossip, I reject their later offer to go to lunch with the group. Instead, I chose to work through my lunch break, in hopes to gain back favor with Linda. Which I don't believe worked due to the scolding eyes she shot me with from her cubicle from the other side of the work space.

And now it is nearing the end of the work day and I want nothing more than for this horrible work day to continue, just so I can avoid dinner with my sisters. But unfortunately, the clock strikes five and it's time for me to head out.

I slowly drag myself outside into the pouring rain to find where Jake had parked my car. Unfortunately my car starts up fine and I'm unable to use that as an excuse to miss dinner.

I drive home and decide to take a quick shower since it had been raining all day. After hopping out of the shower, I switch into some casual but cute clothes and blow dry my hair. When I finish blow drying and styling my hair, I notice the time to see I'm running late. I throw on some make-up before running out the door and a heading to my parents house.

I don't knock on the door when I get there. Instead, I just walk in. "Are you sure she is even going to come?" My older sister Tessa hisses in anger. "She skipped family dinner many times before." She points out.

"I'm sure-" my mom begins before her eyes meet mine and she lights up. "Tatum, sweet girl. I was just about to call you." She says, wrapping me up in her arms and kissing my head. "Dinner is almost ready. I was just catching up with your sisters."

I roll my eyes. More like listening to my sisters complain about me. "It smells delicious." I say with a smile as I watch my mom move back into the kitchen.

With my mom's back turned, my two triplet sisters throw sour gazes my way. Feeling uncomfortable by their looks, I speak up. "I'm going to say hi to dad." I say before scurrying into the living room where my dad sat watching some sort of sports game with two other younger guys I didn't know. I quickly assume that they must be Tessa and Taylor's boyfriends.

"Tatum!" My dad says happily. He sits up in his chair and I cross the room to hug him. "How was work today?"

I let out a groan. "Not that great." I admit honestly. "My car wouldn't start this morning so I was late."

My dad's eyebrow rose. "Your car wouldn't start?" He questions. "Did you call Seth up to help you?"

I shook my head. Not that the idea didn't cross my mind. "No, I didn't want to bother him. So I just called a place to jump start it, which happened to be Jacob Black." I state.

"And he got everything squared away?" My dad asks.

I nod my head. "Yeah, it seems to be starting perfectly fine." I say with a shrug. I know absolutely nothing about cars.

"Where is Seth tonight? I thought you would have brought him." My dad continues to interrogate me.

I bite on my bottom lip momentarily as I look over to the two other guys. "Well, I wasn't sure if this was just going to be a family thing." I admit. But clearly I was wrong in assuming that. Now I wish I had invited Seth. This might have been a lot less painful if I did.

"Dinner is ready!" My mom calls out.

We all head into the dining room where the table is all set up with food and plates. I settle into a seat next to my mom and dad, in hopes to avoid having to talk to my sisters. Wishful thinking, I know.

As the food begins to be passed around, my mom starts the conversation. "Tatum, have you met Matt and Garrett?" My mom asks me as she passes me a bowl of mashed potatoes.

"That would involve her actually being around." Tessa snaps, shooting me a glare. "She has been gone for the last few years. She has clearly missed a lot."

I swallow as I stare blankly at my sister. How am I supposed to respond to that?

I knew this was going to happen. My sisters and I do not get along. We have never really gotten along. Tessa and Taylor, having similar personalities, always just clicked with each other. I have always been the one on the outside.

But this is fine. I have grown used to the exclusion and the hateful comments. However, it hasn't stopped my mom from trying to bring us closer together, which is why we are all here for dinner.

"Tessa." My mom scolds with a warning look.

"No, mom. I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am happy that she is back. I am not going to pretend that it was okay for her to miss our brother's funeral." Tessa yells angrily. "You and dad baby her. And always avoid telling her the truth. But I am not going to baby her. I am not going to sit here and avoid what we are all thinking."

I feel my throat tighten as all eyes land on me. And again, I don't know how to respond. I know that I am in the wrong about a lot of things. One of those things being not showing up to Cade's funeral. But I was so consumed with grief, I couldn't see straight.

"Tessa, everyone grieves differently. Just because Tatum didn't grieve exactly how you did, doesn't mean that she was wrong." My mom says more seriously. "Besides, she is back and we should celebrate this."

Both of my sisters scoff at that comment.

"Anyways, Tatum, this is Matt, Taylor's boyfriend. And this is Garrett, Tessa's boyfriend." My mom says motioning to the two guys at the table.

I crack a polite smile. "Nice to meet you, two." I say before going back to eating. An awkward silence fills the room. Only the sounds of forks hitting the plates can be heard.

"Dinner is delicious, hun." My dad says, peering up at my mom.

"Yes, it's really good." I agree with my dad.

"Thank you, darlings." My mom beams with a bright smile. "I'm sad that Seth was unable to make it tonight." She says.

I smile as I think about Seth. Damn, I really wish that he was here. "Seth?" Taylor asks, confused.

"Seth Clearwater." My mom confirms. "Tatum and Seth are dating."

Tessa lets out a snort of a laugh. "Isn't Seth like really young?" She says, accusingly. "Is he even old enough to date?"

My face surely twists into a sour look. "He's twenty-one." I snap back.

"And he is quite mature for his age." My father chips in. "He is a great kid."

Tessa sighs, dramatically. "I suppose it makes sense. For you to date younger, I mean." Tessa says as she looks over at me. "You've always been really immature." She says with a shrug. "I just hope Seth knows what he is getting himself into by dating you."

The comments hit hard as tears gather in my eyes. But I refuse to allow them to fall. I couldn't give Tessa that satisfaction.

"Tessa, that is enough." My father scolds. But the damage is already done.

"What have I ever done to you?" I whisper my hurt. "Why can't you just be happy for me? Or at least, just ignore me." I beg.

Tessa purses her lips before Taylor speaks up. "We have always lived in your shadows, Tatum." Taylor says accusingly. "It was always about you when we were kids. Taking you to soccer practice, taking you to the doctor for your epilepsy. It was never really about us. Always, you, you, you."

"And you had to make Cade's funeral about yourself too." Tessa points out. "It was all about how you couldn't be there because you were off jetting off around the world." My bottom lip trembles as I take in these comments.

"That is not true." My mom defends me. "Tatum can't help it that your father and I hovered because of her epilepsy. And you guys never went without. You always received attention, gifts, anything you could possibly need or want."

"And Cade's funeral was most definitely not about Tatum." My dad pipes in. "It was a beautiful service. Would we have liked Tatum to be there? Of course. But her absence didn't take away from the celebration of his life."

"You are defending her?" Tessa yells at my father. "If I remember correctly, you were the one who was the most angry about this all." She says accusatory.

"I was." My dad confesses. "But that was before I heard her side of things. I understand why she did what she did. She was only doing what was best for herself at the time."

Tessa scoffs. "She is always doing what is best for herself. She never is considering other people."

The comment is the last blow to the chest for me. I choke out a sob as I rise from the table and head straight for the door. I hear my mom and dad call after me, but I don't stop until I reach my car. "Shit." I curse aloud as I realize I left my car keys inside. I hit the window of my locked car with the palm of my hand as I allow the sobs to rack through my body.

A loud roar of thunder sounds in the clouds above as I stand in the rain as my tears continue to fall. I understand that I have done a lot of bad in my life, but I have always owned up to them. I know I should have been closer to my sisters growing up, but it is a two way street. But even if we aren't close, doesn't mean that my sisters should pick apart every little thing I do.

"Tatum!" My mom hollers out as she runs after me. She immediately wraps me up in her arms, not bothered that I am soaking wet and soon she will be too. "I am so sorry." She chokes out. "I didn't realize dinner would turn into a disaster like this." Her voice trembles with unshed tears, I know.

"I just need to leave." I whisper through my cries.

"I don't know why your sisters are so angry towards you." My mom continues. "But trust me, your father and I are going to handle this."

I pull apart from the embrace and shake my head. "I don't want you to baby me, mom." I choke out, wiping my tears away furiously. "It will only piss them off more. I can handle my own fight. But just not now."

My mom shakes her head. "I don't baby you, Tatum. I treat all my children the same. Your father knows that, you know that. Even your sisters know that deep down." She states. "Your sisters are just hurt that you weren't there for them and they were there for you while you all grieved. They don't understand that everyone grieves differently."

My mom looks over me as she pulls me in for another hug. "I'm sorry." She whispers into my wet hair. "I'm sure everything will be fine in the end." She pulls away before pulling my keys out of her pocket. "I saw that you left these."

"Thanks." I whisper, weakly, as I accept the keys. "I'm sorry about tonight." I say. "I know that this is not how you wanted things to go."

My mom gives me a sad smile. "Life never goes the way you want it to go." She says. "Now, drive home safe. Text me when you get back safely."

I nod my head as I climb into my car. I wave to my mom before backing out of the driveway. As I hit the road, I don't head in the direction of my house. Instead, I head in a different direction as if my mind is on auto-pilot. I park the car in the parking lot and run up to the door. I knock on the door, praying that he will answer.

As soon as the front door swings open to shirtless Seth, I can't help but fall into his arms. My sobs immediately begin to slip through my mouth. "Tatum." Seth says in shock as I cry into his chest.

I must be a sight for sore eyes. I am completely soaked from standing out in the rain and I am crying my eyes out. Seth immediately pulls me into his apartment and I hear voices of his roommates. Seth swoops down and picks me up swiftly. I hear the voices get louder before they get softer and softer until they disappear completely. I am placed onto a soft surface.

I peak up to see that I am in Seth's room. "I'm sorry." I sob as I try to wipe away the tears. "I just-I…" I whimper out. "I just wanted nothing more than to be in your arms." I confess.

Seth pulls me back to his chest, wrapping his muscular arms around my body. "There's nothing wrong with that." His husky voice assures me. He presses several kisses to my head and allows me to calm down in his embrace.

When my tears finally dry up and my sobs subside, I peak up at Seth. "I'm sorry I just came barreling in with tears." I whisper. My voice is hoarse from the crying. "I've had a bad day. And I just needed to see you."

Seth combs my wet hair out of my face before wiping away leftover tears. "I'm sorry you had a bad day." He mutters softly. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

I rest my cheek back on Seth's bare chest and sigh. "My car didn't start this morning." I whisper to start.

Seth continues to lightly comb through my wet hair, soothing me. "I heard about that. You should have called me." He says. His voice is not harsh in any way.

"I know. I just didn't want to bother you." I confess, bringing my hand up to rest on his chest next to my face. "Then I got in trouble because I was late for work. I would have been even later if Jake hadn't dropped me off before taking care of my car. Jake ended up dropping my keys off once he fixed my car, which caused the office gossip girls to come figure out if I had a new boyfriend."

Seth chuckles lightly. "They thought Jake was your new boyfriend?" He questions.

I nod against his chest. "But I reassured them that I still have you as my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend, huh?" Seth teases lightly.

I blush, borrowing my face further into his chest. "I mean that's what we are. We might as well make it official. We would be silly if we continued to dance around the fact."

Seth pulls me up so that we are eye level with each other. "Mmm, girlfriend. I like the sound of that." He says pressing a kiss to my lips.

I grin into his lips. "I like the sound of that too."

"What else happened today?" Seth questions, getting back onto the subject.

"The gossip girls got me in trouble with my boss again because they were keeping me from working." I sigh. "And then the cherry on top was having dinner with my family."

"It didn't go well?" Seth asks.

I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from crying again. I shake my head. "My sister just spent the whole time throwing insults at me."

"I'm sorry, babe." Seth says softly. "I'm sure they weren't true."

I swallow. "Well they were right about some things." I whisper weakly. "Like that I'm immature, I run from things, my parents baby me." I list off to name a few.

Seth stares down at me with a blank expression. "Tatum, you are not immature." He says matter of fact.

I shrug, not really knowing if I agree with him. "I do run from things though. I ran away from the reality of Cade's death. And you know what the funny thing is? I would have probably ran tonight. But all I could think about was you." I confess.

Seth smiles down at me. "Well I'm glad you didn't run." He says pressing a kiss to my lips. "And just because you have ran in the past, doesn't make you a bad person. You were grieving, T. People do crazy things when they are grieving." I am still unsure if it's justified but I don't speak up. "Now let's get you changed out of these wet clothes. I don't want you to get sick." Seth says as he sits up with me in his arms.

I change into a pair of Seth's sweatpants and a t-shirt. Both are completely oversized on me. But I didn't care. The rest of the night Seth and I cuddle in his bed as he tries to brighten my spirits after my horrible day. And after a while, I fall asleep in Seth's warm arms.

This is what I truly needed after a bad day. Seth cuddles.

I am sorry for the late update. I have had a lot going on personally. But I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you want to see next/what you have enjoyed so far. Xx M