this is me trying

chapter twenty: part of our pack

seth

I feel a shift in my arms, causing me to stir awake. I blink slowly before taking in the sweet smell of my imprint. I glance down to see Tatum's sleeping figure. She has her face resting against my chest and her legs intertwined with mine. Her mouth was hanging open with soft snoring slipping out. I brush through her unruly blonde curls, trying to see more of her peaceful sleeping face.

My imprint is perfect and it pissed me off that she and others didn't see her in the same light that I did. I trace her hairline as I allow my frustration to change into gratefulness that Tatum at least came to me last night. I also take pride in assuring her that her sisters were wrong in what they had said to her at dinner. My heart broke at the mere thought of Tatum crying.

Tatum lets out a soft sigh before cuddling further into my chest. I wish I could take a look into her dreams. I wondered what she dreamed about. Was it of traveling adventures? Possibly of childhood memories? Or was it of us?

I run my fingers through Tatum's soft blonde locks, smiling at how cute her bed head hair looks. It is moments like these when I fall deeper and deeper in love with her. How could I not? Tatum is everything I could ever ask for.

She is beautiful inside and out. Her smiles could brighten up my darkest days. Her laugh is like music to my ears. I don't think there is anyone I would rather have imprinted on. The spirits knew what they were doing when they paired us together in an imprint bond.

I just hope that she feels the same with me. I hope she sees how dedicated I am to her. I hope she wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

I could picture it now, life with Tatum. A ring on her finger. Waking up every morning with her in my arms and falling asleep with her beside every night. It wouldn't even be the big things I would look forward to. But it would be the small things. Like seeing her smile. Being her shoulder to cry on (not that I want to see her ever cry). Taking on every step of life side by side. Having kids with her. Growing old together. This is the life I wanted. I couldn't picture anything better.

Tatum stirs again and she lets out a soft groan. I can't help the smile that takes over my lips as I watch her eyes flutter open. "Good morning." I whisper, not wanting to startle her.

Tatum smiles, sleepily, clinging to me tighter. "Good morning." She whispers back, nuzzling into my chest. "Have you been awake for a while?" She asks, peering up at me through her eyelashes.

"No, not very long at all." I assure her.

Tatum sits up before lying back down beside me, more at eye level with me. "I like this too much." She mutters before pressing a soft delicate kiss to my lips. "I might have to spend the night more often."

"I wouldn't argue with that." I grin, pressing my lips back down on her as she tries to pull away. Tatum engages in a kiss for a moment before turning her head away.

"I haven't brushed my teeth." Tatum groans as she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Baby, I don't care about that." I say as I grab her hands in mine, pinning them down over her head. I climb on top of her as I allow my lips to meet hers again. This time the kiss goes much deeper. I hear Tatum's heartbeat begin to quicken as my tongue slips between her lips and connects with hers. Hunger and intense need fueled our kiss as I feel Tatum's hips roll up to meet mine.

I let out a moan into her lips at the new contact of her hips against mine. If I wasn't hard before, I definitely am now.

I pull my lips away from hers before trailing tender kisses down the column of her neck. My actions result in Tatum all but panting above me. As I continue to pepper the soft skin of her neck with kisses, I breathe in the sweet distinct smell of my imprint. Vanilla and lavender.

I find a sweet spot where her neck meets her shoulder and where her pulse is strongest. As soon as my lips touch this spot, Tatum lets out a loud moan. I connect my lips to the skin here and gently suck. I love feeling her squirm under me as I do so. When I pull away, her beautiful pale skin is tainted with a red mark.

I press one last kiss there before moving back up to eye level. Tatum's wild green eyes look at me full of desire and need. It takes everything in me to pull away and not continue this make out session. I plop on the bed beside her, trying to ignore my raging hard on.

Tatum and I just stare at the ceiling in silence for a moment before she looks over at me with her wide doe eyes. "I wish we wouldn't stop sometimes." She whispers before resting her chin on my pec. "But… I've never…" She trials off nervously.

I rest my hand comfortingly on the small of her back. "Never made out?" I tease, knowing that isn't what she is trying to say.

Tatum rolls her eyes. "No, I mean I've never had sex." She confesses before moving away from me, becoming shy.

Her confession shocks me. Tatum was super popular at our school on the Rez. She definitely had a large amount of suitors that tried to chase after her. Cade scared many of them away, but I knew that Tatum dated several guys in high school. And I'm sure she dated guys while she was at UW. I know Tatum said that she wasn't experienced when it came to relationships and that's why she was nervous about screwing our relationships up. But her being a virgin never once crossed my mind.

I pull her to my chest again, staring down at her with such intensity. "Tatum." I murmur in an attempt to get her to look up at me. Her eyes nervously look up into mine. "That's nothing to be ashamed of." I promise her. "Just means we are going to learn this together." I say before resting my chin on her head.

I feel Tatum physically relax after my last comment. We remain in silence and neither one of us comments on our virgin statuses. I process what I want to say before I speak up again. "We will take it slow and we will make it special." I assure her. "But only when we both feel that we are ready." I add. Tatum's head bobbles under my chin.

We are silent in each other's arms for several minutes as I listen to her soft breathing. I think for a minute that she could have fallen back asleep but her eyes peak up at me. "Do you have any plans for today, boyfriend?" She whispers.

"I was hoping my girlfriend would tag along with me to lunch at Jake and Nessie's place." I say hopefully. There is supposed to be a pack lunch today and I wanted nothing more than for Tatum to be there too.

"I would love to join you." Tatum says with a sweet smile adorning her lips. "I just need to stop by my place to grab some clothes. Although, I think I might be keeping this." She says tugging at the sweatshirt of mine that she is wearing. Her eyes hold a mischievous look to them as she pulls her hands into the long arm sleeves.

"It's yours then." I grin. "I need to take a quick shower. Then we can head to your place." I say as I sit up in my bed. Tatum pouts softly as she sits up too. "T, what's wrong?" I ask, concerned.

"I kind of wish we could cuddle in bed forever. You're like a giant warm teddy bear." She says as she wraps her arms around herself.

I chuckle as I rise from the bed. "Trust me, if it were up to me, we would never get out of bed." I say as I lean down and press a quick kiss to her forehead.

Tatum blushes as I move towards the bathroom and turn on a cold shower. My cold shower is quick but sufficient in ridding me of my erection. When I climb out and dry off, I move back into my bedroom where Tatum is still curled up in my bed. I quickly dress, trying not to give Tatum a show.

I crawl into bed next to Tatum. "Are you ready to go?" I ask as I look at my girlfriend with a cheesy smile on my face. How could I not smile? Tatum is dressed in my clothes.

Tatum smiles as she moves off of the bed. She quickly grabs onto the sweatpants to prevent them from sliding down her legs. She laughs as she continues to hold up the pants around her hips. "I look ridiculous." She giggles. "But I'm too comfy to change back into my wet clothes."

I lead Tatum out to her car and hold open the passenger car door for her after she instructed me to drive. The car ride to her place is quick. Tatum quickly runs into her room to change as I steal an apple from her bowl in the kitchen as I wait.

When Tatum meets me in the kitchen, I am finishing up my apple. "I love this look." I grin as I take in her new outfit. She is wearing a pair of skinny jeans and my oversized sweatshirt. I am giddy at the idea of taking her to the pack lunch with her dressed in my sweatshirt and smelling like me. I could really show her off as mine.

"Hungry?" Tatum laughs as she motions to my eaten apple in my hand.

I quickly throw away the apple core before hugging Tatum into my side. "Starving." I groan, jokingly.

"We better get going then." Tatum says as she pulls me toward the front door. "Wouldn't want you to start eating my whole kitchen." She teases.

I drive us out to Nessie and Jake's place with my fingers laced with Tatum's. When we park and exit the car, Tatum begins to look a little nervous. "There's no need to be nervous." I assure her as I rest my arm around Tatum's shoulders. Tatum gives me a nervous smile before I lead her into the house.

As soon as we step foot through the door, the noise is loud almost in a greeting. I can hear the banter of my pack mates. "Look who decided to show up." Vanessa taunts playfully when she notices our arrival.

Nessie looks up from whatever she is cooking. Nessie grins as she walks over to swoop Tatum out of my arms and into a hug. "I am so happy Seth has finally decided to bring you." She beams at my imprint.

When Tatum is released from Nessie's grasp, I can see her visibly relax as she asks if Nessie needs any help finishing up the cooking. Nessie gratefully accepts Tatum's offer as I settle onto the couch next to Thomas. "Dude, your imprint, totally hot." Thomas says as he claps my shoulder.

I nervously glance over my shoulder to make sure that Tatum didn't overhear Thomas's booming voice. I want to snap at him for being so oblivious, but I am interrupted. "She's wearing your sweatshirt. Are you trying to make her smell like you so no one will take her?" Embry teases as some of the other guys join in with laughter.

I roll my eyes. I know there is no point in trying to argue with them. They would only find a way to turn anything I say into a joke. I listen to them move their jokes onto something else, which I am thankful for. I don't know how much teasing I could take.

It's moments later when Nessie calls everyone in for lunch. "Ladies first though." She reminds us as she pushes Tatum to get food for herself.

Vanessa joins the forming line behind Tatum with a chuckle. "No fair. Vanessa hardly counts as a girl." Quil complains as Vanessa begins to load food onto her plate. Vanessa flips him off before she continues. I notice how Tatum watches the interactions between the pack from the corner of her eye as she gets her food.

It takes several minutes for the guys to grab their food and settle in various spots to eat around the main floor of the house. I settle into a chair at the table next to Tatum. "So, Tatum, heard you started dating this loser." Embry jokes from across the table from the two of us.

"You're just jealous." I grumble under my breath as I pull Tatum's chair to be closer to me. It isn't loud enough for Tatum to hear, but I know that Embry hears me clearly.

Tatum smiles in response to Embry's joking smile. "Yeah, it looks like he is stuck with me." She says sweetly as she turns to grin at me. I can't resist myself and I lean down to peck her lips.

"Are you guys official?" Kai, one of the newer members, asks from beside Embry.

"As of last night, yes." I say with a cheese smile on my face before I shovel a forkful of food into my mouth. There are cheers from my pack mates, which causes Tatum to blush scarlet red and bury her face into my shoulder.

The pack continues to tease me and my imprint playfully. Tatum even joins in when the teasing moves to me. I am happy to see her smiling and feeling relaxed around my friends. I am overjoyed that she is becoming part of our pack so simply.

When the dinner is finished, Nessie assigns Kai and Collin to dish duty while she and Jake finish up cleaning the kitchen. Tatum and I settle in the living room with the rest of the pack. Tatum is snuggled up on my lap.

"Tatum, I heard you kicked ass in Mario Kart." Embry says grinning widely.

"Hey, that's not fair! I hear you talking shit in there!" Collin cries out from the kitchen.

Tatum laughs, throwing her head back in amusement. "Oh, I definitely kicked some ass in Mario Kart the other day." She giggles. "It's like they didn't show up."

All the guys hooted in amusement at Tatum's playful words. "I could totally beat you." Thomas called out, puffing out his chest to show off. I saw Vanessa roll her eyes at her older brother.

"Dude, she's really good." Collin says walking into the living room. "Like really, really good."

"Oh, I'm up for the challenge." Quil grins as he turns on the TV and begins to set up the gaming system.

Tatum leans back, leaning the side of her head against mine. "I'm sorry." I whisper, worried that she might be annoyed that she has been thrusted into a Mario Kart contest with everyone in the pack.

Tatum turned her head to stare up at me. "Why are you sorry?" She asked, confused. "I'm having fun." She brushes her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. "I like getting to know your friends." She continues to assure me. "Plus, I will like kicking their asses in Mario Kart in just a moment." She smirks.

I give her waist a gentile squeeze as I lean down to press her lips. "I'm glad you are having fun." I say against her lips. "Now, go kick some ass."

Tatum laughs as she joins in on the game that is about to start. I feel the couch shift beside me and I look to see Nessie and Jake settling beside me. "She fits in really well." Nessie murmurs softly after we spend a few minutes watching Tatum play with the guys. "I think the guys really like her. She's definitely becoming one of us." Nessie grins happily.

I look back over to my imprint, who is beaming with pride after having just won the first game. The guys are groaning beside her, unhappy with their losses. The guys are instantly calling for a rematch, which Tatum accepts. She fits into the pack like a missing puzzle piece, just like she does in my life.

I couldn't be happier to have her fit in so well. So seamlessly.

She is officially becoming a part of the pack. She is officially becoming so intertwined in my life that I can hardly imagine what my life was like without her.

Hi guys! Again sorry for the late update! But good news is that I am graduating next week and will have the whole summer to focus on this story, which I am so excited about. Please let me know what you think about the chapter! xx M