Thank you for joining me for another installment. I know many of you were happy about Olivia's reaction to Mellie. About time she stood up to her; which is why I wrote that scene in that way. Many of you loved how Olivia and Fitz parented Karen, I enjoyed writing that scene too. Looks like Olivia is slowly but surely becoming more and more committed to their path to Vermont huh? Let's see how it all unfolds, we left Olivia in a very dark place last installment. Here we go!
As Olivia lies on the floor shoeless, and distraught over what she just saw on the screen. Her brain scrambles to make sense of what her heart refuses to believe. Tears flow from her eyes, like a river. And the wailing sound that fills the air, she doesn't recognize is coming from her. It takes several minutes before she realizes she's the one making all the noise. As she lies in a fetal position sweating, shaking, and unable to father herself or her thoughts. She remembers the last time she felt this way. The memories of Fitz lying on that gurney with a bullet in his head, being wheeled into surgery fills her mind.
As she closes her eyes rocking back and forth in worry, panic, and despair. She thinks about the pain she felt in her heart back then. She clutches her chest as she feels her heart racing, and she's struggling to catch her breath. As she recalls every aspect of that night.
She sees herself in his closet, gripping his Navy sweatshirt close to her chest. She thought then as she does now; that he was being taken from her. The idea behind this unwavering feeling causes her eyes to sting, as she cries painful tears.
She shakes her head as she sobs remembering not only the shooting. But planning his funeral, and how hard that was for her. Her heart broke every day, thinking that he was gone. But in the end, he battled back to become well. He came back to her, and every since that day; he's told her time and time again, that she was his reason for him coming back. Her love for him brought him back from the brink of death. He felt her with him. He felt her holding him, as she laid next to him in his hospital bed.
Suddenly, as the idea of him again being gone, takes over her body. She feels the knot that was once in her stomach, moving up to her chest. The pain she's feeling feels so real; it feels like her heart is going to explode. She can't take it. She begins to scream, "no, no, not like this.. God please not like this. You can't take him from me. Pleases God."
Tears blurring her vision, she looks at the television screen, and still sees the coverage. She throws the remote out of anger. She can't process what she's seeing. She then sees her phone on the floor. She grabs it, remembering Jake was on the phone. But despite the line being open. No one is on the phone.
She hears screams in the background, but she can't make out what's being said. There's mumbling, scrambling, and struggling, and then the line goes dead. Unsure of what she has just heard, and still distraught. She throws the phone too, shattering it against the wall.
Still crying, and upset. Her mind is now racing, and then a thought pops into her head. She says out loud.
"It's all my fault. Fitz is.,, because of me." She feels an overwhelming sense of pain in her chest, and breathing has become more difficult for her.
She can't catch her breath and she can't stop crying. In her head she accepts that something is wrong. But she doesn't know what to do and more panic ensues. Completely overtaking her. She goes from feeling everything, to feeling nothing.
As Fitz rides to Olivia's apartment; he gets confirmation via text, that the apprehension was a success. The news makes him smile. He feels like this is the beginning of him and Liv turning the corner freely, without obstruction from likely sources.
However, his happiness is short lived when he gets another text advising they were unable to keep the accident from the press. But they are already working on a spin story. And they've notified the kids and Mellie that he's okay. So things are under control. Initially, he's relieved to hear that the kids aren't unnecessarily worried.
But when he realizes that Olivia isn't aware of what's going on, and tries to call her. But gets no answer. Despite calling several times. He gets worried, and upset that he can't reach her. Why did he allow her to talk him into not having her detail tonight? He asks himself.
In the midst of worrying about her; he feels the car stop and realizes he's outside her building. He wants to jump out of the car. But he knows security protocols warrant him staying put, until secret service opens the door. While he waits, he tries to call her again and again he gets voicemail. "Fuck!" he says out loud.
When the door opens Fitz jumps out of the car and he's escorted into the building. Because of his concern for her. He fills the secret service in on the way up. Upon hearing him out, Mark says, "Sir, in light of what you're saying. We need to enter the residence before you. To make sure everything is okay."
As they step into the elevator, Fitz replies, "You can come in with me. But not before me." Mark responds, "Sir, we have to follow protocol. You know we have to search the premises, if it's believed possible danger is looming. It's a matter of national security."
While Fitz hears him, and understands what he's saying. He doesn't care about the nature of his reply. He only cares about Olivia, and her safety. Making sure she's okay is paramount. Mark sees that Fitz heard him, but knows by the look on his face it doesn't mean anything. As they reach the floor, Mark says, "Sir I need you to let me and the agents do our jobs." As they step off the elevator Fitz still says nothing. Instead, he makes a beeline for the door.
Using his key he opens the door and the team of agents give chase after him, as Fitz urgently enters the apartment. Once inside, they instantly notice the romantic table setting, as well as the smell of food cooking. He yells out for Liv, and he doesn't hear anything. His heart races, and as he runs through the apartment. Followed by secret service, as they search every room.
Fitz goes to her bedroom managing to arrive there before the secret service agents. The door is closed, and he rushes inside, to see her on the floor. He immediately goes to her and screams, "My God! Livy, Livy baby, I'm here."
Olivia feels like she's in a dreamlike state, and unsure of what's going on around her. Until she hears someone calling her name. Although she hears the voice. At first, she's unable to move or speak, she's not even sure if it's real. But then, she feels a hand on her face. She's not certain at first; but then she realizes someone is touching her.
Unable to recognize what's going on. She remembers Jakes last words to her. He said "I'm coming for you next." Fear takes over, and she reacts thinking it's him. As she screams at the top of her lungs, and swings her arms, fighting off the person touching her.
She gives it all she's got. Continuing to struggle and fight. Until the familiarity of the voice and the scent syncs in. She instantly stops fighting and manages to open her eyes looking into the purest blue eyes looking back at her.
With shock and disbelief, she cries as she says, "Fitz, Fitz, is that really you?" He lovingly strokes her face, as he holds her close, and says, "Yes baby. It's me." Overcome by the moment, she grabs him tight, and begins to cry again uncontrollably.
His heart breaks as he surveys her condition. She's shaking and crying uncontrollably, as she mumbles something. He can't hear it, because her face is planted into his chest, and she's got her arms locked around him gripping onto him for dear life.
Wanting to comfort her, he protectively and carefully scoops her up from the floor, and holds her in his arms. As secret service looks on from the doorway. One of the agents asks, Sir, do you want me to call Dr. Baker?" He looks at him and mouths no, not right now. Then motions for him to leave them alone. The agent nods and closes the door, allowing them to have privacy.
Filled both with worry and relief that he got to her; Fitz cradles her and kisses the top of her head, as he sits down on the bed, with her still in his arms. He wants to take a looks at her; but she hasn't loosened her grip on him. Concerned more could be wrong than just her emotional upheaval. He worriedly and visually searches her body. But he can't get a clear view of her, due to the darkness of the room, and her unrelenting grip on him.
In a caring and loving tone, he asks, "Are you physically hurt Livy?" She doesn't respond immediately. There's a pause as she tries to process what he's asking her. Her mind is so jumbled that she can't really remember what's going on with her right away. He sees her struggling to respond, and he sees the anxiety in her body language. So he holds her closer, kissing the top of her head again, as he strokes her back, and whisper in her ear, "You're safe Livy. Just breathe baby. I am here to take care of you."
His words begin to calm her down: he feels the tension in her body begin to lessen, and he sees her tears slow. As he hears her sniffling, he reaches over and grabs a tissue for her., from the nightstand. A few minutes pass, and he starts to feel her breathing even out. The tension level in her body drops lower too, and her grip on him also reduces.
The silence around them breaks as she tries to answer his question, She thinks she's got a grip on herself. But then thoughts of him being hurt or worse, fill her head again, and she says, "Fitz, I thought you were…" She can't say the words. And he can't bear to press her any further.
Compassionately, he rubs her back slowly. As he says, "Shhh, I'm here now. It's okay. I've got you. And I'm not going anywhere." His assuring sweet voice begins to calm her, once again, as she still holds him tight, allowing for no space between them, and he holds her in return, without complaint.
His heart breaks for her. He hates that she is this afraid, and upset. He should've told her about the surveillance on Jake. If he had, this wouldn't be happening, he thinks to himself. Guilt begins to creep into his mind. As he holds her, hoping she gets past this sooner than later. So he can talk to her, and explain his reasoning. Just let her be okay, he thinks to himself.
After several minutes more of quiet; Olivia releases more anguish. Fitz continues to hold her, until her cries are now nonexistent. And her breathing completely settles. Feeling like she's finally relaxed enough for them to change positions. He attempts to lay her down, so he can lye next to her. But as soon as he shifts her body in his lap. Her eyes pop open, and her body tenses, and she tightens her grip on him, as she loudly screams, "No! No!" Before he can respond, the bedroom door opens, and a secret service agent is standing in front of them.
The sudden move causes both Olivia and Fitz to jump, as Olivia almost jumps out of her skin, and Fitz angrily yells, "What in the hell are you doing?" Get out of here!" The agent replies, "I'm sorry sir. I heard yelling, and I thought.."