Chapter 20: Nerves
Recommended for mature audiences only. Some content is not suitable for young readers.
(Updated for errors & minor content - 01-May-2019)
Reviews are absolutely welcome!
Snow stood beside Greta and Elizabeth at the front of the crowd as William and Gort pulled away the wooden barriers on the tunnel. The brittle wood bent and snapped loudly as they tore it away. They all gazed into the tunnel, but they couldn't see more than a few feet inside. Nothing but darkness lay before them.
Gort stepped inside first and quickly returned holding two unlit torches.
"It seems safe enough," he grumbled to William. "Help me light a few more of these torches so we can get on the way. There are more just inside the opening."
Snow looked at Greta and the girl smiled encouragingly back at her as they waited. She then glanced at Elizabeth, who had fastened her babe to her chest with a long piece of fabric. Her other children clutched her skirts, each of them bundled up in fur. Snow hadn't spoken to the woman much on their journey here, but then again, she hadn't really spoken to anyone. People seemed to understand that she was miserable and wasn't in the mood for conversation.
"Alright everyone," William spoke loudly. He started passing the lit torches among the crowd of women, elders and children. "We're ready to go inside. Try and stay by someone with a torch so nobody gets left behind."
Gort, Muir and Quert disappeared into the tunnel and everyone followed close behind them. A breeze swept over Snow as she entered. The air was cold and stale as a result of being undisturbed for so many years. It was unsettling and a cold chill ran down Snow's spine.
"How do you know where to go? Did you mine in these tunnels?" Greta asked the dwarves.
"Not this particular one," answered Quert. "There are many old mine shafts in these mountains. I mainly worked in the ones further south from here, but old Muir, he's been all over the place. Ain't that right old man?"
Muir chuckled softly. "I've mined just about everywhere in the Kingdom dear, but without my eyes, I'm as clueless as the rest of them as to where we are going."
"It can't be too hard," William chimed in. "Surely the tunnel will take us right through the mountain?"
Gort and Quert exchanged glances. "You know what a spider-web looks like boy?" Gort asked.
"Of course."
"Well you're in one right now," laughed Gort. "A giant maze of tunnels, leading anywhere and everywhere, all through the mountain."
"I thought this was supposed to be quicker," Greta grumbled. "What if we get lost?"
"It is quicker," said Quert. "If we pick the right tunnels, we should reach Stonehill in about two days."
"And if we get lost?" Greta pressed.
The dwarves were silent for a moment.
"Well dear," Gort said. "I hope you like the dark."
Two days later
When Eric opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was. All he knew was his head was foggy, and his mouth was as dry as the Eastern Desert. A shocking pain jolted through him as he tried to sit up, and he groaned, clutching his stomach.
It all came flooding back to him then. Talin, the battle, facing Argus. He looked around the room he was in, not recognising it.
He tried to sit up again but was this time pushed back down by a large, meaty hand.
"Dinnae be stupid," Bane said, standing over him. "Ye'll tear yer stiches."
"What happened?" Eric asked, taking the water flask Bane was offering him. He gulped the water down too quickly, and choked, splattering water everywhere.
Bane took the flask from Eric and handed him a cloth. "We fared better than I could have imagined. The men of Talin proved to be noble fighters."
Eric wiped the water off his bare chest and noticed his bandage for the first time. He didn't need to remove it to know what it was covering. It was a deep wound, and he was truly amazed he was still breathing. His arm was bandaged too, but he didn't remember how he got that one. "How long was I out?"
"Two days," Bane said, gruffly. "Ye gave me a right fright, ye bastard."
Two days. Eric's brows knitted together. "They should have made it to Stonehill by now."
Bane nodded. "Aye, if they made it outta' the tunnels."
"What of Argus?"
"The only survivor. He's under heavy guard."
Eric gritted his teeth. "He needs to die."
"Aye, he will," Bane nodded. "We'll take him to Stonehill-"
"No," Eric cut him off. "I'm no' takin' him anywhere near her."
"He will die, Eric. But we need to question him. We need to find out if there are any other rebels we need to worry about. Then Argus will face the Queen's justice."
Eric was quiet for a few moments, considering Bane's words. Taking Argus to Stonehill… while Snow was there. It was unthinkable, but he couldn't deny that questioning him was a good idea. "We can question him here," he offered. "It's too risky taking him to Stonehill."
Bane shook his head. "I tried that already. He willnae speak. He hasnae spoken a word since the battle, except that he'll only speak to the Queen. No one else."
"Over my dead body," Eric growled. "Takin' him there is exactly what he wants!"
"It's up to the Queen to decide his fate, Eric. He's still her subject."
Eric scoffed, "The queen isnae here. She left knowin' full well what we were plannin' to do, I doubt she'll care if we kill him now!"
"If it were up to me, I'd hang him right now," Bane replied. "But the situation has changed, and the Queen needs to know what has happened so she can give her orders. It isnae up to us to presume what she wants."
Eric rolled his eyes. He was frustrated, and his stomach was aching more and more with his anger. "Now's no' the time to play the loyal Captain, Bane."
Bane's mouth hardened. "I'm Her Majesty's captain, and I'll follow nobody's orders but hers until otherwise."
Eric covered his face and groaned. "Ye're a pain in my arse, ye know that?" He supposed he shouldn't take Bane's loyalty to Snow for granted. He was her Captain after all, and he was right. The situation had changed, and as much as it frustrated him, she deserved the chance to have a say in what happened to Argus.
"We'll leave when ye're fit enough to travel," Bane stood, and their conversation was over.
Bane stood outside the physician's cottage where Eric had been recovering. He had received a few bad blows himself during the battle, and he tugged at the itchy, blood-stained bandage around his arm. He'd been lucky this time, but Eric's survival had been nothing short of a miracle. Eric had been awake for five days now and was getting crankier by the minute, eager to get on the road.
Bane sighed and his gaze fell on the village jail, where Argus was locked up, under the watchful eye of three men. His fingers twitched and he clenched his fists. He kept asking himself if he was doing the right thing by keeping him prisoner. He tried to convince himself that he was. The Queen deserved to hand down his punishment, whether it be a noose, axe or hot coals, Bane didn't care. The man was finally going to pay for his crimes, and they could all move on in peace.
"Bane!" He heard Eric bellow from inside. "Get in here!"
Bane rushed inside but found nothing alarming - just an injured man climbing out of bed and an exasperated physician trying to stop him.
"Oh good," Eric said when he saw Bane. "Tell this pesky man I'm fine. We're leavin'."
Bane crossed his arms in the doorway. "Ye're no' fine, Eric. Ye can barely walk."
Eric hit the physician's hands away as he tried to push him back on the bed. The physician threw his hands in the air, admitting defeat. "I give up," he sighed to Bane. "He won't listen to me, maybe you'll have better luck," and he left the room.
Bane stared at Eric, amused as he tried to pull on his boots. Eric just threw an accusing finger at him. "Dinnae look at me like that. It's no' funny, ye bastard. I've been stuck in this bloody bed for a week, I'm no' stayin' here a second longer."
Bane scoffed, "Ye're havnae healed yet, ye bastard." Eric shot him an annoyed glance and Bane tried to hide his laughter. Watching the hunter shuffle around the room trying to find his clothes was quite amusing. "Give yer'self a couple more days, Eric. There's no harm in waitin' a wee bit longer."
Eric stood as straight as he could and pulled a clean shirt over his head. "I'm leavin', with or without ye."
Bane gave in and turned to leave. It was pointless arguing with Eric, but even the dwarves had been pressing him to leave for the last two days. "I'll tell the lads to pack their things, and we'll meet ye at the gate when ye're ready," he called over his shoulder and he saw the corner of Eric's mouth turn up. "Ye better no' slow us down."
Snow woke up in a terrible mood, and she felt as nauseous as ever. She pulled herself from the large four-poster bed, tugged on her emerald-green silk robe and marched to the window that overlooked the grounds of Stonehill Castle. William's Castle. The idea still seemed so foreign. Even William was still coming to terms with it, and they'd been here for a week already. Lord William of Stonehill. She smiled softly.
Snow's quarters faced the eastern grounds, and she had a magnificent view of the rocky countryside. Stonehill Castle was a fortress, built high in the rocky hills of Tabor, designed for the sole purpose of keeping out enemies. From her rooms, Snow could also see the castle gatehouse, which was guarded heavily at all times. She found herself staring at the gate a lot, sometimes waiting by the window for hours at a time, waiting for any sign of him. It had been a whole week, and there had been no word from Eric or Bane, nobody knew if they were successful in the village attack, or if they were even alive. She wasn't the only one waiting for news. The women that had escaped with her – they were all waiting for news of their husbands and sons and brothers and fathers.
The first couple of days after they'd made it to Stonehill had been tough. Snow had barely slept, for she was so anxious. Soon that anxiety turned into sadness and she feared that Eric would never return. Then her sadness had turned into anger. She was angry at him for sending her away when she needed him the most. She was angry at William for dragging her away. She was angry at Argus. At everyone. Even people who didn't deserve it. Now… Today… She didn't know what to feel. Her emotions had stripped her bare, and now she was left with nothing. She felt numb to it all.
The door to her obscenely large bedchamber swung open, and Greta tiptoed in carrying a large tray of food. She had slipped into the role of Snow's maid when they'd arrived, instead of taking up a place in the kitchen as she had done at the palace. Snow didn't mind – in fact she preferred it, and Greta was also a good friend.
The poor girl had pulled her hair out trying to get Snow to eat over the past week. It wasn't as if she was starving herself, she still ate for the babe, but it was never enough according to Greta.
Snow touched her stomach; the small swell that had seemed to appear out of nowhere a few days ago. It could still go unnoticed to the unsuspecting eye, but it didn't help that Snow touched it every few minutes. It made everything feel so real.
Greta smiled and curtsied softly when she saw Snow standing by the window. Her eyes were hesitant though, not knowing what mood Snow was going to be in today. "Good morning, Your Majesty. I've got your breakfast." She had a determined look on her face as she placed the tray down on a modestly sized table in the middle of the room.
Snow walked over to the tray of food and popped a grape into her mouth. She really felt too nauseous to eat, but she sat down anyway to please Greta and picked up another grape. She looked at Greta, who was watching her every move. "You don't need to worry Greta," Snow said, taking the hint. "I'll eat."
Greta visibly relaxed.
"Any word?" Snow asked, but she already knew what the answer would be.
Greta bit her lip and gave Snow a sympathetic look. "No, Milady."
Instead of bursting into tears like she had done the first few mornings, Snow just sighed. "They should be here by now! It's been a week!"
"Maybe they got lost in the tunnels, Milady? It took us two days to find our way here."
"Why did he have to send me away!" Snow exclaimed and threw the grape she was holding back onto the table. It bounced and rolled onto the floor. She scowled and slumped in her chair, hiding her face in her hands. She knew the answer. It was growing inside her right now, and the reason she felt like retching every five minutes. "I'm sorry, Greta," Snow said after a few silent moments. "I haven't been very agreeable lately."
Greta offered her a knowing smile and sat in the chair next to the Queen. "You don't need to apologise, Milady. It's understandable that you're feeling the way you are."
Snow considered the girl for a moment. She'd been a miserable, moody wretch all week, and Greta had held her tongue through all of it. "Thank you for being so patient with me," Snow offered. "I don't deserve you, but I'm glad I have you."
Greta brushed off Snow's compliment with a wave of her hand. She helped Snow dress, and when she was satisfied with the amount of breakfast Snow had eaten, she let the Queen venture outside.
The garden wasn't as big as the one at the palace, but it was nice to get some fresh air. There was plenty of shade, rose bushes and a lovely little pond with a statue of a female archer. Snow stared at it often, admiring the woman's strength. It reminded her of her mother – Queen Eleanor had been a wonderful archer, and Snow wondered if she should take it up herself. She slumped back into the grass. Resting her hands on her little bump, she watched the clouds travel across the blue sky.
A short while later, Snow felt the presence of someone beside her. She glanced up to find William resting in the grass next to her. He too was watching the clouds drift above them. She didn't know how long he'd been there, but he looked deep in thought and Snow decided not to disturb him. It had been very hard for him when they arrived at Stonehill. The death of his father had constantly been on his mind and having to take on the Duke's responsibilities was weighing on him heavily. Instead of saying anything, she reached across and took is hand gently in her own. William acknowledged her by smiling up at the sky. Snow did the same.
"Remember this?" he asked softly.
She did remember. As children, they would lay in the grass for hours on end, trying to make shapes with the clouds. The thought warmed her but saddened her at the same time. Those had been simpler times. "It feels like a lifetime ago," she whispered.
"It was," William replied. It really was a different life. So much had changed since then.
They stayed like that for a while, saying nothing, just holding hands and watching the clouds pass slowly by. Two friends, and nothing more. Somehow Snow knew William understood that now, and she guessed a certain handmaiden of hers had a part to play in that. That, and the fact she was carrying another man's child.
"I forgot to thank you, William," Snow finally broke their silence.
"Mm?" was his reply. He sounded sleepy, but Snow continued anyway.
"I wanted to thank you for bringing Eric back." William turned to face her. He looked at her questioningly. "I know it might have been pointless, considering what's happened, but thank you anyway. I got to tell him about the babe, and I got to tell him I loved him one last time."
"You can't give up hope," he whispered. "He loves you, and he'll do anything to get back to you. He's on his way here, I know it."
Snow looked at the clouds again. She wanted William to be right so badly, it hurt. She may have been angry with Eric, but she missed him, and wanted him back with her more than anything in the world. A single tear fell from the corner of her eye.
"Milady! Milady!"
Snow and William sat up, startled, and saw Greta running towards them, her skirts hitched up to her knees. "What is it, Greta?" Snow exclaimed.
"You must come," Greta panted when she reached them. "A group has been spotted making their way here."
Snow's heart skipped a beat. "Who is it?"
"They didn't say, but who else would it be? It has to be them. You must come. Both of you."
Snow followed Greta inside, with William hot on her heels. "How far away are they?" William asked when they reached the noisy outer yard. It was full of people going about their daily business.
"I'm not sure," blushed Greta. "I overheard the guards saying they'd spotted a group of people and I rushed out to find you straight away."
William summoned over two guards from the gatehouse. "What's happening?"
"I have word of a small group of people, Sir. About a mile away," answered one of them.
William looked at Snow, who looked back at him with hope in her eyes. "Go and find out who they are," he said to the guards. "Take extra horses, and if any men named Eric or Bane are with them, bring them here as fast as possible."
Snow stared after them and ran to the portcullis. She stared through, trying to see if she could make out any blurry shapes but it was useless. She couldn't see anything. Her nerves were driving her mad.
Greta took her arm. "Come and sit inside, Milady. There's no use waiting out here."
"No, I can't," Snow shook her head. "I have to see – I have to wait for him."
"Snow," William hesitated. "It might not be-"
"Don't say it William," Snow cut him off. "It has to be him. You said so yourself – He's on his way here."
Snow stood by the portcullis, staring through the iron holes. She bounced in anticipation, folded her arms, unfolded them, and then folded them again. She was sure her lips were bleeding where she was biting them too much. She focused all of her attention on the road leading to Stonehill, ignoring William and Greta standing close behind her. She waited and waited, praying that any second he'd come into view.
More time passed and Snow had almost convinced herself to climb on a horse and go out there herself when William spoke suddenly. "There," he called and pointed.
Snow strained her eyes. She finally saw a man on a horse faintly in the distance. It was one of the guards, Snow recognised. The second guard came into view not far behind him. Then, one by one, the four extra horses trotted along behind them – carrying nothing but an empty saddle.
Snow's heart plummeted. Her knees gave way and she sunk to the ground, her head in her hands. "He's not there," she sobbed. She felt Greta's hands on her shoulders. "He's not there," she said again. "He's not coming back."
"Hush now," Greta tried to sooth her. "You mustn't give up hope, Milady."
Snow wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. "It's been too long."
"Come on Snow, go inside." William took her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Take her inside, Greta, and get her something to calm her nerves."
Greta nodded and ushered Snow back to the castle, rubbing her back softly as they walked.
William waited for the two guards to return and made sure there were extra men stationed the gatehouse. If Bane and Eric weren't successful, Argus may still be out there somewhere. "What did you find?" he asked the two guards when they trotted through the gate.
"A small band of peasants, Sir. On their way to Stonehill Village to visit a relative."
"Did they look suspicious?" William didn't know what Argus looked like, so he couldn't be too careful.
The guards shook their heads. "No, Sir. A family with small children."
William nodded, satisfied. "Thank you. Don't venture out anymore and be sure to tell me if anyone demands entry. Don't let anyone in without getting me first."
Both guards saluted. "Yes, Sir."
Snow sat in her bedchamber with a steaming cup of herbal tea. She motioned to Greta to sit with her at the table. "Please sit with me, Greta. I don't want to be alone."
Greta did as she was asked. "How are you feeling, Milady?"
Snow sighed. Her eyes were still puffy from crying. She seemed to be crying all the time now, and she was quite sick of it. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I really thought it was him."
"He still may show up, Milady. Have faith."
Snow let out a long exhale, and her shoulders drooped. She was exhausted. She knew there was a great possibility that she'd never seen Eric again, and it was tearing her apart. "Didn't he realise how much this would upset me? Doesn't he realise that I want to protect him as much as he does me? I don't want him leading battles and chasing after people that want to harm me. I want him by my side!"
"Does he want that? To stand with you and be your consort?"
Snow stared at her hands. "No, he doesn't. I asked him, and he said no."
"You asked him to marry you?" Greta exclaimed.
"It didn't go well. We had an argument, and he ended up leaving Talin."
Greta's eyes widened with excitement. "But that was before! He knows about the babe now, maybe he's changed his mind!"
"I want him to marry me because he loves me, not because he feels obligated. It doesn't matter, anyway. I might not ever see him again."
Greta pursed her lips. She could see why Snow was upset. She hadn't had a very pleasant couple of weeks, and stress wasn't good for the babe. "Why don't you rest for a little while, Milady? I'll call on you later."
Snow nodded in agreement and when Greta left, she collapsed on her bed. She put her head in her pillow and blocked out her surroundings. She wished she could block out the thoughts in her head as well, but it was no use. Her thoughts kept drifting to Eric, wondering where he could be and why it was taking him so long to reach her. The last thing she remembered before drifting to sleep was his last promise to her.
I promise I'll try. With everything I have, I will try.