Chapter 9: Fassad's Speech
The journey to Tazamily was pretty painless, thankfully for Salsa, Fassad took control of the strange vehicle that he called a Pork Bean, after properly telling him that one accident would be death for him, so that was...not helpful.
Even still, the journey was painless, even though he couldn't see anything, the monkey was at least grateful that the evil bastard couldn't possibly shock him and take his eyes off the weird road or map or whatever the hell this thing was on.
Eventually, they arrived in some sort of weird bunker similar to the laboratory they had been in earlier though, Salsa did notice some weird vehicles of white with pig faces painted all over them. In addition there were more of those pigmasks preparing for something. Though, no sign of Samba, or that girl he had seen earlier.
"Lord Fassad!" A pigmask dress in white with a cape walked up to them. "Preparations are almost complete."
"What says about research on the girl? What about her other friends?"
"We've been testing, but need to move her somewhere private...just so her friends don't find her. We're still hunting them down, but we should be thankful Lord Porky separated them."
Fassad nodded, "Good Good, Nweeheehee. His highness shall be pleased."
"I thought you had business elsewhere?" Salsa asked, boredly.
Fassad glared at him, before looking down at his wrist with wide eyes. "Oh my, the idiot monkey was right!" He snarled. "You there, make sure it's ready! Nobody can get in."
"Yes sir, Lord Fassad!" The colonel saluted. He then marched off towards the tank.
"You're lucky you actually got me back on track." Fassad scowled as he pushed Salsa up the ladder, "I won't hesitate to shock you if you try that shit again!"
Salsa bit down on his mouth to prevent a rhetorical remark. Sure, he hated this guy with every cell in his body, but he wasn't about to get shocked again.
Fassad pushed open some weird stone roof and the two emerged in a graveyard of some sorts. Salsa looked around, it was now nighttime, so that was something, then, without warning, he felt Fassad's thick boot crash into the back of his head, kicking him across the ground and into a gravestone in front of them.
"That was for making me open the hatchet." Fassad growled. "No funny business when we get to the Yado Inn, it's down south of here you stupid monkey! Get going!"
Salsa grumbled a bit as he walked down the graveyard and into some crossroads of sorts, he continued south like the big bastard had told him. He ended up on the outskirts of a small hillside island town, by the looks of things, the town had a big gloomy atmosphere. Sort of like someone had recently died by the looks of things.
Salsa continued walking as Fassad seemed lost in thought, they passed by a chubby man who thanked Fassad for some weird money crap. Then, all of sudden he heard a loud bump as Fassad stumbled into a man, he had a developing beard and moustache of light brown hair, a blue shirt and red pants with a limp in his leg.
Fassad seemed taken aback by the man, who stared at them blankly, likely confused by Fassad's attire, and, Salsa hopped, the weirdness of his fur and tail.
"Pardon me," Fassad said quickly, bowing to the man. "I wasn't paying attention, and I'm in a terrible hurry. Forgive me."
"Uh...sure…" Duster said, looking at him.
"Great, Great," Fassad said, "Come along now Salsa," he motioned for Salsa and began walking.
Salsa looked back up at the man with a limp, who stared back down at him. Then, he walked off, shaking his head.
Fassad pushed open the door to the Inn and guided Salsa up to the front desk, there was a man with purple hair and a blue beard behind the counter, who looked at them curiously as Fassad pulled out a hefty bag of money.
"How much for a few nights here?" he asked.
"Um...there is no how much herer. You're free to stay the night for as many nights as you wish."
"Ah...I see…" Fassad said. "Still...I simply cannot allow myself to take something for free...please just accept my offer."
The person behind the counter shrugged to the maid before taking the bag. "Sure...I guess it could make a good doorstop or somethin,"
"Your room will be the one in the middle."
"Thank you very much. Now, little Salsa, say thank you," he motioned his hand downwards.
Salsa gave him a quizzical look, no way in hell did this guy have the balls to do it right in front of everyone. Fassad's glare harshened as he reached for the remote.
So, he stood up and moved his arms in a circle, making a goofy face on top of it all.
"EEEEE! How cute! You must be such a good animal trainer!" The maid sighed.
"You gotta be shitting me." Salsa grumbled. He followed Fassad for a long nights stay, in what he only knew would be a long, tiresome night.
Salsa awoke to the jingling sound of a heavy bag of money, staying quiet, he listened to Fassad's little speech.
"Now then, hopefully this should start of a chain reaction, taking back that stupid money." Fassad grumbled. His heavy footsteps approached Salsa on the floor.
"Hey, stupid monkey, GET UP!" he shouted, before Salsa could react, a large dose of electricity spazzed through his body. Salsa jumped up, his hair standing up just a little from all the electricity from his body.
"Jeez, I was already awake!" Salsa coughed. "You could've just asked politely."
Fassad glared at him. "You just sit back and keep doing your tricks on command. I've got a little presentation and speech today. Be good for just a little while longer, and you'll have a nice happy reunion with your girlie monkey."
Salsa grumbled as he followed Fassad outside to that weird well they had passed last night. Fassad stood up on a little soapbox as he stood up, people looked at him curiously and surrounded him as he cleared his throat, Salsa let out a little sigh as the man began to speak.
"Come! Gather around!" the man said cheerfully. "Come, one and all, fair denizens of Tazmily!"
Salsa grumbled a little at the murmurs from the small crowd gathering around.
"Congratulations are in order for the hard work you all put in every single day!" Fassad boasted, he did a downwards motion, telling Salsa to do the same goofy little windmill dance he had done earlier, now that he knew this bastard dared, he suspected the people of this town weren't very bright. So he did it.
"Congratulations?" one man whispered, "For what? What have we done?"
"I've come here today to give you all wonderful news...about happiness!" Fassad continued. Making another dance motion for Salsa to follow, he shook his hips and rocked his arms in a hula-hoop-like motion.
Salsa watched as a tall man with a log of lumber and his son in white and red walked away. "Great, these people ain't interested!" he thought.
"Blue skies, White Clouds, Bountiful crops, Stout livestock. Happy Families, and Kind Hearted individuals, this village is filled with so many wondrous things!"
"This man makes a good point, we still have so much to be thankful for."
"However," Fassad said. "There is still something missing. A tiny speck of uncertainty that steals into each bright day. Is this really how things should be?! Shouldn't we be living much more comfortable, enjoyable lives?!"
"No not really." Salsa grumbled, irritably, everyone was listening on in interest.
"It's only natural to harbor a few such suspicions," Fassad said, approaching some nervous spectators. Odd animals that have never been seen before now lurk in our forests, and I'm certain you all have seen giant balloon-like objects soar in our skies!"
"The man speaks the truth, remember that weird thing Flint was talking about?" One man said.
"And what about that gray thing in the sky?" A woman replied.
"What's going on? What's happening to the world we live in?" Fassad asked. "I hear you asking. But that's not even all, not by a longshot! The word on the wind tells me that in the very near future, lightning powerful enough to burn down forests and woods will rain down on us almost daily!"
There were several laughs from the crowd. Making Fassad Glare.
"Oh?! You laughed at that, didn't you?" he asked. "You think for yourself, "Get real! Something like that would never happen!" But I truly believe this will soon be a reality!"
To Salsa's great relief, more people walked away from this, most giggling at Fassad's response.
"In times like this, wouldn't you humans just want to be happy?" Fassad asked. "To live with a smile on your face?"
"Yes!" some people said desperately.
"Well then, today is your lucky day!" Fassad said. Salsa, sensing his movements, did a backflip. "You can obtain happiness very easily!" He then glared at Salsa, who started doing his little pump up fists dance from left to right.
"Just lookie here, even my little Salsa is dancing so happily! The reason for this, you see, is that this monkey has gotten a head start on obtaining happiness!"
Even more people left at this statement, though, there were still quite a few people there.
"If you are interested in obtaining Happiness, please raise your hand boisterously!"
Six of the seven people in their area raised their hands. Fassad nodded and approached each of them, presumably gathering their names.
"For those that raised their hands, Salsa here will be delivering you a special Happy box later. For those of you who didn't, I encourage you to think it over, if you're interested, I'll be here for a few more days, that is all I have."
All the people nodded and left the area, but not after a few women came to ask Fassad a few questions. After what felt like ten hours in the heat, Fassad stomped over to Salsa.
"You've got twenty two minutes to deliver those happy boxes to all those people." Fassad growled. "Take too long, I'll shock you, Run away and I'll kill you, do it in that time, and maybe I'll give you a reward, you can find them in the graveyard. Don't fuck around monkey!" He then kicked Salsa in the face.
Salsa grumbled as he watched Fassad go back to the Inn, he grumbled to himself as he walked up to the graveyard, when he got there, he found six big boxes that looked way to heavy for him to even carry.
"I don't even know where the hell these people live." he grumbled.
"Hey, Salsa." The monkey turned his head to a small person in a red hood covering his eyes.
"If you want to know where they live, here's a map." the person handed him a map.
"I don't...what are you…I don't know you! Where is Samba?"
"Who I am does not matter, Samba is fine. Do not worry, but I need you to tell me what direction you came from."
"Hang on!"
Salsa snapped. "How about you help me out here! I'd like to see Samba you know!"
"I cannot do that. Much like you, I'm stuck in this position. However, there may be someone who can help you."
The monkey breathed a sigh of relief. "Who is it? Who can help me."
"Look for a young woman with short red hair, you'll know her when you see her. She can understand you like me and that shithead. Now, tell me which direction you came from!"
Salsa shrugged and pointed to the west, the person under the mask nodded and vanished in a flash of pink light. Leaving the monkey all alone, once again.
Salsa sighed as he turned to the boxes. "Let's...just get this over with...hopefully I can find that woman later."
That's all for this month's chapter.
Like I mentioned, Salsa's part is such a drag, but, I wanted to at least split in three, so that all of the prologue took up a even amount of chapters. So next chapter will cover the end of Salsa's story, and the prologue in general.
You know, now that I'm thinking about it, it's odd that Mother 3's legacy has resonated so well. The amount of effort people went through to get this game over in English is astounding.My story with EarthBound as a whole is actually kind of weird, it started when I was younger, I had always known about EarthBound from somewhere, because I did know who Ness actually was prior to first playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl. I don't know how though, maybe I saw a video or actually played a portion of the game somewhere when I was younger and just don't remember...but I've always felt a special connection to this series. The earliest memory I had of actually playing was...damn...almost 7 years ago when middle school me first discovered emulation. Wow...time really has changed.
Heh, wow, I kinda let myself go there for a second. Crazy to think there was once a time when I scarily obsessed over Pokemon, and only ever touched Mario. Now, I've expanded my gaming experience to all sorts of stuff...but something about the Mother series...it just...has that feeling for me that no other game has ever felt before.
Ah well, before I drag the word count up and get some hopes up, I think I'll call it quits. If you enjoyed this chapter, you're welcome to let me know.
See you all, Next Month.