"What… the actual hell… was THAT?!"

"I mean. I just… Wow…"

"How?! How did they get so much so wrong?!"

"Like, half of us weren't even in this!"

"Wait. Did you WANT to see what you'd look like in this thing!?"

"I may not have the most respect for my father. But he didn't deserve… THAT."

"That Goku was nothing like me!"

"Honestly, I didn't hate what happened to me… but that VOICE…"

"I actually think Roshi was the only one who got out of this relatively unscathed."

"True that! That old dude hit a lot of the right notes if you ask me."

"I hate my life."

"Okay, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Goku snapped, his arms pointing to the tv as he was yelling at the entity who was face down on the floor with several empty bottles of tequila surrounding him. The Dragon Crew had finished a movie called 'Dragonball: Evolution' and while it started out promising… So much went wrong within the first three minutes.

"A mistake."

"No shit! But what the hell was that!?"

"Uuughh…" Skorch slowly pulled himself up. "It was one of the attempts America made to bring the stories of Dragonball and all of you to a wider audience. Ignoring the fact that the stories were already readily available. This was supposed to start a series-"

"Please tell me that didn't happen." Piccolo said flatly, feeling agitated, and he didn't know why.

"It made 58 million against a 30 million budget. It was panned by critics and fans, and the sequels were canned."

"Good."

"I hate my life…"

"You're not the one who just sat through three hours of watching yourself get shit on!" Goku yelled, voicing most of the Z-Fighters' complaints.

"Uh, actually it was only eighty minutes." Krillin blinked, reading the back of the case. Goku just turned around in absolute astonishment.

"No." Was all he said.

"Look." Skorch groaned, pulling himself up. "In D-Zero, the stories and adaptations of you guys have been going for nearly forty years. Not all of them will be perfect."

"I really, really don't want to ask, but has anything been… worse?" Vegeta muttered, and Skorch went silent.

"No, not really." He finally shook his head. However, there was something clear he was hiding.

"Meaning?"

"If you want to know, challenge me. And trust me, you DON'T want to know. The stuff I'd explain isn't within the universe of things that affect you guys, and you'll be better off not knowing about it."

The group went silent, not knowing and not WANTING to know what he was getting at. Some of them had assumptions… and that was concerning.

"Skorch." Chi-Chi spoke up, suddenly taking the entities hand. "Please come with me."

"Help." Skorch wheezed as Chi-Chi took him to a corner, and a wall of fire jumped up around them.

"…hey. Check this out." Krillin remarked, moving the menu selection to the 'features' tab. "Anyone know what 'Dragon Ball Z Abridged' is?"

"Some sort of recap of the show?" Yamcha asked, wanting to find, something, ANYTHING to get the taste of what they just saw out of his mouth.

"Play it! I wanna see what we look like as a show." Videl nodded. There was a general agreement, and Krillin hit play.

"The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball GT are owned by Toei Animation, Funimation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release." A voice quickly spoke.

"Skorch. I need you to be honest with me." Chi-Chi said, her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't give a damn what your watcher rules are, I need you to be honest. Those… implications you made. Do they apply to my children?"

"…No." Skorch shook his head. "But… they kinda… really apply… to-"

"She wants him to grow up to be... what's it called?" Abridged-Goku asked. Some of the Dragon Crew recognized the footage from nearly twenty years ago… It was surprising really. Goku sounded… off, his voice was higher than it should've been.

"A productive and responsible member of Society?" Abridged-Krillin asked.

"Do I sound like that?" Krillin blinked. Hearing a different voice come from himself was surreal to say the least.

"Yeah, lame that's it!" Abridged-Goku remarked. The watchers blinked, then began laughing. It was pretty clear to them what this was, and frankly, most of them had no issue with watching themselves be… to put it politely, 'Re-voiced'. Piccolo found the way they were portraying him as a little annoying however. He understood this was meant for comedy, but the jokes at his expense were kinda getting to him. He hoped they'd get better as the episode went on.

"-AND YOU'VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS!?" Chi-Chi roared, absolute fury threatening to blast down the fire/sound-proof walls.

"Yes. Er, No! Crap!"

The Z Fighters watched a few more episodes of what was known as 'Dragon Ball Z: Abridged'. A few episodes in, things were certainly bizarre, but also admittedly hilarious. Piccolo had quickly changed from annoyed to how he was interpreted to amused with it, as Abridged-Piccolo became much more of a dead-pan smart-ass, while Krill felt personally attacked with the 'Krillin Owned' counter that appeared. However, it was after Vegeta and Nappa arrived that the Dragon Crew found it much, much harder not to laugh. Namely at Vegeta's arrogance somehow being even more outrageous, and Nappa… well, you know why.

"But… Piccolo's dead." Abridged-Goku said, confused.

"And you're point is?" Abridged-Vegeta said annoyed.

"Well, without Piccolo… the Dragon Balls won't work."

"Wh-WHAT!?"

"Oh, and I totally killed that guy." Nappa remarked. "Well, at least we still had fun getting here. Right Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Remember the bug planet, Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?"

"I don't remember him being… that dumb." Goku blinked. That was a herculean statement coming from Goku, and Krillin nodded.

"Oh, for the love of… SHUT UP…" Vegeta seethed, having traumatic flashbacks to years ago. While Nappa wasn't like he was in this parody, there was still something about the warrior that REALLY got to the Prince. Also, the way the two were shown as comically incompetent wasn't helping his mood much either.

Most of those watching didn't notice, but a flaming skull suddenly shot across the cube ship like a football, and Chi-Chi stormed out, clearly angered over something. As was usual though, most of the Dragon Crew didn't pick up on this.

They kept watching, finding themselves going through the story of Vegeta's arrival, the battle with him, and eventually ending up on Namek. It was weird for a lot of the dragon Crew. Not just the comedy re-working, but the fact that people… watched this. It felt like their loss, their pain, like it was just a plot point. Which in a meta sense, it was. But at the same time, it was interesting to re-visit their past, although Vegeta didn't get much better as the episodes progressed. He was reminded far too much about how he was and add that to the constant mockery, he wasn't exactly having a great time. There still were some points he would openly admit were hilarious, but he also very personally attacked. It was one of the few things he and Krillin agreed on with no catches.

"Uh. Can I… help you?" Abridged-Gohan asked.

"No. But maybe I can help you." Abridged-Vegeta replied.Not wanting to have the Sayian Prince fight them out of anger, everyone tried to hold back laughter. Key word, try.

"I… I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"I'm out." Vegeta said flatly, walking away as everyone finally gave in and started laughing. "Screw this, I don't want to see myself mocked like that."

"You need an adult?" Someone called.

"F*ck you." Vegeta said, flipping everyone off. He passed the still furious Chi-Chi, giving her a questioning look, and picked up the flaming skull off of the ground.

"What can you tell me about the tournament?" He asked, holding the skull up to his eye level.

"It's a tournament." Skorch replied.

"You are violently annoying some days. You know that, right?" Vegeta asked.

"Hey, don't blame me. I can't talk about it unless challenged, and I can't tell you a lot regardless because it'll break the Watcher Code."

"You've said that multiple times now. What the hell does it mean?"

"Well, I can tell you that when we get there you're gonna-" Skorch began, but his jaw suddenly seemed to freeze, black ice surrounding his mouth and rendering him unable to speak. Vegeta blinked in surprise, seeing the eye sockets change from normal to annoyed. After a few moments, the ice shattered. "Agh. I hate when that happens."

"So, you know how it's going to go down. But you can't tell us unless we best you in some challenge, or give you something. Right?" Vegeta asked, thinking back to what he had been told.

"Mostly, yeah." Skorch replied. "But again, while I know how it's gonna go down as it's supposed to, I can't tell you those exact details because that could mess with the way things are supposed to be."

"So, say I best you. What CAN you tell me?" Vegeta asked, a little annoyed with all the regulations concerning this Twenty Questions Skull.

"Who people are, who'd be the best match-up, stuff like that."

"Wait. Telling us who to fight… wouldn't that be telling us how to alter stuff?"

"Not… exactly. See, I'm telling you 'Hey, here's a suggestion' not 'Hey. This is gonna happen, do this to solve it.' So, by the Code's rules, I'm okay to do that."

"Okay, here's a challenge. Who can throw the other further?" Vegeta asked, grinning somewhat.

"What?"

"Miss Chi, are you quite alright?" Whis asked, noting the woman's disturbed composure and furious scowl on her face.

"I don't know." She seethed. "It's just… I don't know how to think about what I've just found out. I feel like something is screaming in my head to do something, but I don't know what-"

"Yaaah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!"

Shooting between them, Skorch's skull went flying into another wall, crashing into it and embedding itself there after his teeth got caught on the wall.

"Mold Phil." Skorch tried to say. Vegeta was going to ask a question, but he felt something grab his leg. Before he could react, a headless skeletal body In an overcoat lifted him up and threw him like an Olympic discus. The prince awkwardly flew across the ship. Getting the attention of most as he crashed into the ground and came to a stop. Skorch spat his head off the wall and looked to him. "Okay. You win."

"Why…?"

"Hey. You challenged me."

"Ugh. Fine." The Prince scoffed. "Now talk."

"Universe Six has some fighters who might actually pose a threat." Skorch began. "As it stands, the first fight ain't much of an issue. Let Goku do his thing, but…"

Vegeta listened intently, taking in everything the entity was saying. Thus far, Skorch hadn't lied to them, so why would he start now? Still, it was clear there were MANY things Skorch knew that he couldn't sat, even if he was bested. That gave Vegeta pause, wondering if there was some sort of threat Skorch wasn't talking about. As for the entity, he felt… guilty. There was SO much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to help them… but he couldn't. And through his body, his bones shivered as he felt someone, or rather, two someone's arriving in this realm that he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Still, Goku and Vegeta had been through hell, and they always came out on top. Right?

…right?

"Also, vote for the next battle in the poll on the front page and the reviews!"

"Okay, who the hell are you talking to-"