The Z Fighters React To Death Battle! (Take 2)

by SkorchNTorch

(Adopted from JLyman) After a mysterious being gives a series of videos to Bulma, the Z Fighters were left with the option to watch every, single one. What did they do? You guessed it! Join the Z Fighters, and maybe a few others, as they watch one of the greatest web series of all time! Rated M for... you already know.

24. Deadpool vs Deathstroke (Updated)

Hey, to the guest who wrote: "Focus only on your Death Batlle story, please. Nobody cares about these stories. It's only ten reviews across three different works." On one of my other stories… there's a message for you at the end of the chapter.

---

"…so…you wanna explain why you're so upset?" Piccolo asked.

"This. Is going. To be. ANIGHTMARE."

"…Oh."

To say seeing Skorch a mixture of angered and annoyed was discerning would be… an understatement. He didn't seem angry like when he had been forced to fight Vegeta, this was something else… Skorch meanwhile had grabbed a gun from… somewhere, and began loading it.

"Trust me. We're gonna need this later." The Entity muttered, looking to Yamcha. "Kick it, Cha."

Yamcha blinked, then hit play regardless, most of those present gathering around to see what this episode was all about.

(*Cues: Invader – Jim Johnston*)

"They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but sometimes it's nothing but a slap in the face." Wiz began as a series of side-by-side characters were shown. Two women dressed in black, one with white hair and the other with cat ears (getting Roshi's attention immediately), two plant-human monsters, one of them being much more monstrous than the other, someone who looked an awful lot like Spawn, next to Spawn himself, and a white lion next to another cartoonish, orange lion.

"Before you ask, Catwoman and Black Cat, Swamp Thing and Man-Thing, Nightwatch and Spawn, and Kimba the White Lion and Lion King." Skorch commented, it then became clear that those watching didn't know who any of those characters were. "But… I don't remember which was which for who came first. It doesn't matter…"

"Such as the case when it comes to these two masked mercenaries…"

"Deadpool, Marvel's infamous Merc with a Mouth." Boomstick introduced the first fighter. It was the man from the preview, wearing a black-and-red spandex suit that looked similar to Spider-Man's, but he also was armed with twin katanas, and GUNS. But there was also something… comedic-looking about him.

"And Deathstroke, the Terminator of the DC Universe." Wiz introduced the second fighter, who fell from the sky and rolled in like a boss. He wore black and orange armor, and a mask with only one eye-hole. On his back was a large rifle and a larger sword, and a few other guns and blades were strapped to his body. Unlike the first fighter, it was clear that 'Deathstroke' wasn't here to play games.

"So, who ripped off who?" Goku asked. Skorch just jerked his head to the screen, making it clear that the episode would explain.

"He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!"

"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!"

Deadpool ("LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!")

(*Cues: Marvel vs Capcom 3 - Deadpool Theme (8-bit Instrumental Version)*)

"You see him on T-Shirts, Internet memes, and EVERYWHERE you look at nerd conventions… Marvel's insane in the membrane – and honestly, everywhere else – mercenary, Deadpool." Boomstick began as several images flashed by, ending with a group of Deadpools dancing in what seemed to be a massive gathering.

Something of note that the Z-Crew say immediately, was there was people dressed like many of the fighters previously seen. Spawn, Spider-Man, Ryu, Scorpion, Thor, Ragna, Starscream, Snake…

"Hold on, what the heck is that?" Piccolo asked after Yamcha paused the video so everyone could get a better look. "Is that… people dressed like fighters?"

"Do people dress like us?!"

"Is this common!?"

"Sorry, people dress like us?! That's… that's weird."

"…okay, so. In order: Comic conventions, yes, frequently, rather, and yeah." Skorch remarked, listing the answers off on his skeletal hand. "I think I mentioned this way, way back. Like, right after Vegeta vs Shadow's episode."

"Okay, maybe- but…" Vegeta began but couldn't form a full sentence. "You mean that…"

"Again, I've told you all this before!" Skorch said, annoyed, holding a tin of jiffy pop above his flaming skull, making snacks for those watching. "Look, when this battle is over, you can keep going, but I'll be down to take challenges to answer questions."

"..I…fine."

"But the story behind this popular anti-hero isn't as light hearted as his joking nature would lead you to believe. In fact, it's quite the opposite…" Wiz continued as Deadpool was shown eating at a Mexican food truck. What he was eating got the attention of Whis and Beerus.

"It's also a comic origin, so strap in for some WEIRD stuff, everyone!" Boomstick declared.

(*Cues: X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Wade Goes to Work*)

"Wade Winston Wilson was a globetrotting mercenary looking for his chance to become the world's next greatest superhero."

"How do you go from being a mercenary to a superhero?" Trunks asked. "Isn't a mercenary someone who kills people for money?"

"Not always, typically a hitman is someone hired to kill, a merc is a 'professional' soldier hired to serve in a foreign army." Roshi answered. "For example, the Red Ribbon army was a legit army, while Taopaipai was literally nicknamed 'Mercenary Tao'. Both would do horrible things, but Tao did it less because of some sort of doctrine and more because someone paid him to."

BACKGROUND

- Real Name: Unknown

- "Real" Name: Wade Winston Wilson

- Height: 6'2" / 1.88 m

- Weight: 210 lbs. / 95 kg

- Place of Birth: Canada

- Aliases: Merc With a Mouth, Regenerating Degenerate, Ninja Spider-Man

- First Appearance: The New Mutants #98, 1991

- Lives With a Blind Elderly Woman ("He lives with a female Roshi?" Someone asked. "…get bent." Roshi grumbled, feeling attacked.)

- Suffers From Extreme Bovinophobia ("He's afraid of cows?" Piccolo asked dryly.)

- An Even More Cliched Cosplay Subject Than the Joker

- Ex-Highest Grossing 'R'-Rated Superhero (Thanks, Joaquin)

"…Then he was diagnosed with cancer, which hit him like a flaming semi-truck falling on his face."

"That's... oddly specific." Boomstick commented.

"That's horrible." Chi-Chi frowned.

"What's cancer?" Goten asked.

"It's an illness, involving abnormal cell growth with the potential to invade or spread to other parts of the body." Bulma answered, seriously. "It invades vital organs and effectively kills them slowly. It's estimated that 9.6 million people die from it every year…"

"So, you get it, and you just… die?" Goku asked.

"No, no… there are things that can be done to combat and cure it… but even then, it isn't a guaranteed fix." Bulma answered. Beerus shot a glance to Skorch, who didn't seem angry, but rather… sad.

"Facing the inevitability of death, Wade gave up on life. He abandoned his heroic dreams, stopped his chemo treatments, and dumped his girlfriend to free her from the burden of a man doomed to die."

"Uh, he's supposed to be comedic, right?" Krillin asked.

"I love you Wade Wilson… we can get through this." A woman said in a serious and somber tone.

"You're right. Cancer is only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All the things I can live without." A man (they assumed) was Wade Wilson commented.

"Doomed, until he was offered a cure by Department K, the special weapons development division of the strange, alien world called...Canada!"

(*Cues: O Canada - English Chamber Orchestra*)

Deadpool appeared in front of a red-and-white flag with a leaf in the center.

"Canada?"

"Country in D-Zero. Great place." Skorch remarked.

(*Cues: X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Deadpool*)

"And by cure, I mean he actually was handed over to the Weapon X program, the same guys who gave Wolverine's bones the old chrome dip." Boomstick said flatly. "Where they gutted him, screwed with his body, and then injected Wade with Wolvie's healing factor."

Wade was shown strapped down to a table, being injected with… who knew what. It was kind of disturbing seeing him being experimented on. But what came next was far more disturbing. He was left in a tube which seemed to be sucking the air out of the tube around him. Wade was gasping for breath until his skin began to deform, and his whole body seemed to shrivel into a malformed, disgusting form.

"That's… horrific." Piccolo winced.

"Oh, did I say this was a love story? No. It's a horror movie." Wade's voice spoke as his skin continued to deform and twist into some sort of mutated decaying flesh.

"Which I don't even know if that's possible. Do they have like a spare jar of essence of Wolverine or something?"

"Who's… who's Wolverine?" Goku asked.

Deadpool (now in is red suit), yelled in pain as a bullet went through his arm.

"MOTHER…FUCKER!" He yelled loudly. Inexplicably, his wound began to close. That got everyone's attention.

"Hang on. He can just… just heal!?" Krillin blinked.

"His body's like a senzu bean!?"

"With the ability to heal from anything-"

"HOW?!" Bulma exclaimed.

"-his body became a surgical playground for Doctor Killbrew and his assistant, Ajax. Just like Operation, only constantly hitting the sides. But hey, at least he doesn't have cancer anymore." Boomstick said as a board game was shown with a buzzer going off.

"I mean, I guess he doesn't-" No. 18 began.

"Well, actually he still does."

"Oh, well. Damn."

"His cells just regenerate faster than the cancer can kill him. Beneath the red and black spandex, he's basically a giant walking tumor, which can talk... a lot." Wiz commented.

"C'mon, it can't be that-AHWHATTHEHECKISTHAT!?" Goten began but recoiled in shock when Deadpool's real face was shown.

"AH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Oh wait, we can't." Boomstick screamed.

(*Cues: The Deadpool Game - It is a Trap*)

"Meanwhile, among Killbrew's other prisoners, a gambling ring was formed. Patients would place bets on each other's survival under the knife. How they got money to gamble is really anyone's guess, but it stands to reason there's bigger things to question…"

"That's horrible!" Chi-Chi exclaimed mortified.

"Huh, never thought about betting on the outcome of a fight…" Beerus muttered, then blinked when he felt Skorch glaring at him. "Wait, never mind."

"Okay, this may not be the main focus, but if they were, why would they gamble money?" Krillin asked. "What good is it to them in there?"

"It's probably more just a bet of words to see who dies first." Vegeta shrugged.

"And these bets were placed of what they called 'The Deadpool.' ...Get it? 'Cause it's kinda where his name comes from- Oh, you'll see." Boomstick muttered.

"Unfortunately for Killbrew, Wade had somehow gotten superhuman strength, speed, and stamina. Because I guess they got a jar filled with that shit too…" Wiz continued, muttering that last part in annoyance, and Bulma felt that in her core. "He used these skills to kill Ajax and make a dramatic escape. Free at last, his fellow inmates inspired him to take on his now famous namesake..."

"Deadp-"

Without warning, Deadpool appeared in front of the wall of text.

"DEADPOOOOOL Yeah!" Deadpool yelled.

"What the heck?"

"Wait, is he-"

"Who's he talking to?"

"Here we go…" Skorch muttered.

(*Cues: Marvel vs Capcom 3 - Deadpool's Theme*)

"Oh, ho, I'm sorry! I've just been waiting for this for a while. Please continue talking about how amazing and awesome I am." Deadpool commented, talking to… honestly, the Z-Crew couldn't tell.

"Great… I was afraid of this. See, Deadpool somehow possess a unique awareness of whatever media he's in. Whether there be comic books, games, tv shows, film, or an awesome Internet show." Wiz explained.

"Or a story wherein characters from a popular anime watch said internet show." Deadpool added.

"Huh in the what now?" Boomstick asked.

"Is… is he talking to us!?"

"Basically, he's a pro at shattering the fourth wall." Wiz explained. "He knows he's a fictional character, and can address either the audience or those making said media."

"Bingo! Oh hey, Boomstick! Tell your ex-wife I said hello~." Deadpool said before growling.

"You've got five seconds to get the hell out of here before I blow your head off."

"Unfortunately, all that would do is piss him off. He'd survive that without much issue aside from a lot of pain. Bad idea as Deadpool is a Master Martial Artist, Seasoned Assassin, and a Raging Sex Machine- what?"

ABILITES

- Superhuman Body

- Exceptionally Skilled with Swords and all Forms of Guns

- Mastery in Assassination Techniques and Numerous Martial Arts

- Superb Healing Factor, Capable of Replacing Organs (That was impressive to most of the fighters, they wondered how that worked.)

Magic Satchel:

- Contains Various Items, Regardless of Continuity – Includes Teleportation Belt, Machine Guns, Katanas, Pistols, Continuity Stone, and Other Things.

- Fourth Wall Awareness

- RAGING SEX MACHINE WITH A MAGNUM-SIZED DICK (Some laughed, others groaned in disgust.)

"That… why would they write that?!" Bulma groaned in disgust.

"It's not my fault that they left a few things in the script, so I made some changes. You know, just the important stuff… Like my penis."

"Gah!"

"Damn it…"

"Hey Skorch, what's new?" Deadpool asked, making everyone jump as he suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Deadpool?!" Goten exclaimed in shock.

"Sup, Goten?"

"How… how are you here?!"

"Fourth Wall, duh." He shrugged. "You think Skorch, Doggo and Deady are the only trio who can warp reality or screw with what's normal outside of your world?"

"Awesome!"

"I know, right?"

"Wait. How did-!?" Vegeta began, looking from the screen to Deadpool and back again. A reaction shared by pretty much everyone, except Skorch.

"Aw, c'mon guys! You seriously think I wasn't gonna crash this party!?" Deadpool asked, sounding almost offended. "Seriously some of the greatest freakin' anime characters are watching ME and you don't think I'm gonna stop by and see what's happening!?"

"HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" Bulma asked, wide-eyed.

"Haxxx."

"You… you were on the screen! You just… just left a pre-recorded episode! You can't just do that!"

"Ahahahaha… Oh, listen Anime Ramona Flowers, there's many things you can't do… that you can do… if you know how to do them properly."

"That's what she said!" Trunks called.

"I love that kid." Deadpool remarked, looking to Skorch.

"Same." Skorch smirked.

"But if you're hanging out with this idiot, I would've thought you'd've learned that the impossible, isn't impossible… if you cheat."

"Well, if by raging sex machine, he means getting down with a bloated alien, a shape-shifting teenage prostitute-" Boomstick continued.

"SHE SAID SHE WAS TWENTY!" Deadpool girlishly screamed, covering his face with his hands as everyone looked at him in disgust.

"-a demonic succubus queen, and Death herself, he must have some pretty low standards. That's right, this guy literally tried to stick his dick in Death! Maybe that's why he liked my ex-wife…"

"You plowed DEATH?" Roshi asked, sounding both shocked and impressed.

"Yeah. More than once." Deadpool nodded, pulling some wrap out from behind him and began eating it. "It makes things kinda awkward when I got married to Shiklah… although currently she's either non-canon or married to Dracula… so I guess I didn't cheat on her."

"Nice."

"Yeah, kinda burns though…" Deadpool commented. "Or that might be the chlamydia…"

"OKAY!" Chi-Chi shouted in disgust.

(*Cues: Deadpool's Old Theme (Le Scar Remix) - Marvel vs Capcom 3*)

"But besides his dick, Deadpool has an arsenal of weaponry he can pull out from absolutely nowhere!"

"This is an animation technique commonly called the Magic Satchel, though its existence as an actual thing is preposterous."

"Yeah!? Watch this!" Deadpool declared, suddenly pulling one of the Dragon Balls from behind him.

"How-?!"

"I dunno." Deadpool shrugged, throwing the Dragon Ball over his shoulder. "Kace at least has an actual bag. Me? I just pull it outta my finely tuned ass."

"Dude. There's kids here!" Yamcha shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry. But I'm not the idiot letting kids watch a show that depicts a woman being beaten into submission then violently-" Deadpool began, but the younger ones watching heard the sound of a duck quacking for some reason. "-in a pool of her friend's blood while her friend watched with a freakin' knife in his eye!"

Those that saw Guts and Nightmare were left in an awkward silence, everyone else… was horrified beyond words. Those that had seen… that thing, looked away or coughed awkwardly, trying not to show much of a reaction.

"You…you…you saw WHAT!?" Chi-Chi finally got out, her voice jumping back and forth from horror to anger.

"That's when Skorch took Trunks and Goten to do… whatever they did, and you all talked with the Blackthorns." Vegeta finally answered. "But yeah, it was… unsettling."

"Some of Deadpool's favorite toys include-"

"My trusty rusty twin katanas, some grenades, my two favorite machine guns – Butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! – a teleportation belt, an Infinity Stone that alters continuity... Ohhohoho… I can't choose! I love 'em all!" Deadpool declared, suddenly appearing on screen again before re-appearing in their world. "Sorry, had to do that."

"Hang on." Goku blinked. "How did you do that?"

"Well, Kakarot, that's a long story." Deadpool remarked. "But, mostly due to the fact that the fourth wall is a joke. But also-" Deadpool disappeared, grabbed the chocolate Buu was eating, then returned. "Teleportation belt and Reality Stone. I can jump through time, space, reality, all that kinda stuff." Deadpool concluded, munching on the chocolate bar.

"Uh… Deadpool, that wasn't a good idea…" Hercule muttered. Deadpool blinked, but didn't seem to realize what he had done.

"RRRRHHHHH…." Deadpool didn't notice Majin Buu's face turning red. "YOU MAKE BUU MAD!"

"…oh crap." Deadpool whimpered, and was suddenly sidelined by the irate Majin Buu.

"BUU MAKE YOU DEAD!"

"I REGRET NOTHING!" Deadpool screamed girlishly as he was thrown into a wall, holding a small white flag in surrender. Those present watched in silence as Deadpool was thrown about the ship by Majin Buu. "Skorch! What the hell man!? Why can't I fight back!?"

Skorch said nothing as Deadpool jumped off of a wall, and then grabbed something from behind him, he thought he grabbed a gun, but ended up throwing a Toblerone to Buu. The angered Majin monster blinked as he caught the chocolate bar and then seemed to do a 180. He took a bite of the chocolate and immediately seemed to calm down.

"You Buu's friend now!" Majin Buu declared, suddenly child-like and happy again.

"REALLY!?" Deadpool gasped, his eyes widening. "WOO! ALL ABOARD THE FRIEND-SHIP!"

"Does he ever shut up?" Beerus muttered.

"No."

"So, what exactly is the Continuity stone?" Bulma asked, and Deadpool suddenly appeared behind her.

"I'm glad you asked!"

"AAH!"

"See, this thing is called an Infinity Stone. With it, I hold the power to literally re-write all of reality!" Deadpool declared, holding the stone up and letting it shine in the inexplicable sunlight that appeared from nowhere.

"How much… how much of reality are we talking about?" Vegeta slowly asked.

"I dunno." Deadpool shrugged. "It depends on what the writer will let me get away with. I don't think I even have it in the current continuity… but in general, I can change the outcomes of fights, change time as everyone knows it, talk to those writing this crap, and so on… but it's also useless outside of my world, and despite how much Death Battle likes to bring it up, I've only ever used it like, twice… It's also not really used in the main universe."

Beerus suddenly grabbed the stone, holding it up an inspecting it.

"You mean to tell me that this… rock. Can literally re-write the rules of reality as we know it?" He asked. "Up end the fabric of time and bend it to whomever holds this rock? It possess' that much power!?"

"Yes." Deadpool nodded, and more than a few present sweat-dropped at the unspoken implications. "But not here. It's completely powerless outside of my world, and even then, should it have power, it'd probably rip your mind to shreds and leave you as a vegetative husk of your former self, screaming into the eternal empty void for the merciful and cool embrace of death."

"These… Infinity Stones, they were mentioned in one of the previous fights, right?" Goku asked. "Didn't Skorch get really angry over them or something?"

"Hm. Right." Beerus frowned, throwing the gem back to Deadpool. "He did mention this was something that even he didn't like talking about… and by that he means he's too cowardly ot admit to it."

"Well, that's ominous foreshadowing if I've ever heard it." Deadpool shrugged. "But yeah, like… be REALLY freakin' careful if you ever find one." He added, before disappearing and re-appearing on the screen.

"Okay, I'm gonna kill him." Boomstick said flatly, followed by the sound of a shotgun cocking.

"Lolololololololol!" Deadpool yelled as he ran away and something shot the screen, before anyone could ask what was happening, the Merc with a Mouth returned.

"Wait, so if you know we're watching you… does that mean everyone in all the battles we've seen knew we were watching them too?" Goten asked, realizing something.

"No." Deadpool shook his head. "But those watching you are watching you watching me."

"What…?"

"That belt… it's essentially an instant transmission belt, right?" Krillin asked.

"Pretty much, cue ball." Deadpool nodded, before warping around the ship a few times.

Frazp!

"Vibe check!" Deadpool shouted, appearing beside Vegeta and punching him in the gut. "Vibe check failed!"

Frzap!

Deadpool re-appeared, and then got a new hole blasted into him-

"That's… what she said…" Deadpool moaned as he chest healed. While Vegeta growled in agitation.

"Cheap shot, you costumed buffoon…" He muttered.

"Combined, Deadpool's weapons and abilities has helped him to accomplish some amazing feats in spite of his illness. He may be more of a comedic character, but that doesn't take away from some of the crazier things he's done across the Marvel Universe." Wiz commented.

"His quick draw's fast enough to beat 7 Hydra agents at once; he can decimate legions of armed warriors solo... while talking on the phone; he's the only one to ever outwit Taskmaster, who literally has the power to predict his opponent's moves!"

"That… that's kinda cool, actually." Goten said. "Being able to predict someone's moves flawlessly? That'd be great for a fight!"

"Kinda seems like what Hit was doing." Tien nodded.

"I don't think Time-Skipping is what Taskmaster is doing, but I see the similarities." Piccolo added. "That kind of precognition would be useful, but your body would need to be trained to react with fractions of a microsecond in order to best know how to use that information."

"You say that like you guys wouldn't be able to do that." Deadpool waved dismissively. "Well… Goku at least."

"…and he even murdered the ENTIRE Marvel Universe. TWICE." Boomstick said, and everyone froze in shock.

"Ho boy…" Deadpool muttered.

"Hey, maybe you should worry less about killing me, and more about that rapidly approaching asphalt!" Spider-Man growled, kicking Deadpool in the jaw and sending him careening down from in-between sky scrapers, crashing into a car. "You're luck I'm not like you. You're lucky I don't kill you for what you've done."

"Am…I…?" Deadpool groaned, his jaw clearly out of alignment. "Do you think they would let you break character, even if you wanted to?"

"Where's this going?" Videl asked, having a bad feeling growing in her gut. Deadpool… remained quiet.

"What?! I don't want to hear any more of your banter, okay!?" Spider-Man snapped. "You stole that whole 'merc with a mouth' routine from me. You know that, right?! And your slice-and-dice routine hasn't served you well so far, so forget threatening to gut me!"

"Y..your right." Deadpool groaned, his eyes narrowing. "I'm not going to cut you."

In a movement that shocked everyone (Aside from Beerus) Deadpool put a gun under Spider-Man's chin, and pulled the trigger. The Web-Slinger's head exploded in a shower of gore and viscera.

"Hrrgh… Spider-Man no more, huh?" Deadpool growled. "You know what all those 'better psychopaths' you were bragging about shoulda tried? A gun."

"Holy crap, man!" Yamcha recoiled in shock. "You… you just freakin' killed him!"

"…admittedly that was relatively painless compared to what I did to some of the others…" Deadpool coughed awkwardly, the entire ship now feeling like they were trapped with a vicious predator on board. One who also happened to be standing close to Goten and Trunks. "Make of that last remark what you will." Deadpool said, looking to the readers who are most likely all breathtaking in their own right. "…Except you."

"…."

"You aren't breathtaking, you're INCREDIBLY BREATHTAKING."

"Anyone know who he's talking to?" Krillin asked.

"Skorch did tell me apparently there are people watching us even now, one of them felt brave enough to ask me a question." Beerus shrugged indifferently. "Either they're both insane, or that's who their talking to."

"That including the supposedly unkillable Wolverine." Boomstick added as a man in a black, blue, and yellow costume looked up at two horridly melted figures, both of whom seemed rather young.

"Wait, are we just going to ignore what Lord Beerus just said?" Vegeta asked, but received no response.

"Besides… live bait always works best, right?" Deadpool's voice could be heard off-screen. "I mean, if we're talking hunter-to-hunter."

The man roared in anger, and six metallic claws jutted out from his hands. It looked… AWESOME! However, this was quickly taken away from when they saw Deadpool wearing the skin of Beast as a sort of hat-coat.

"Is that Beast's skin?" Goku asked.

"I dunno. I think that was supposed to be the implication, but the artist didn't fully commit to it." Deadpool answered with a shrug. "The colour's too light… either way, I really hate watching this crap…"

"You're not hunter! You're MEAT!" The man-

"The incredibly sexy Wolverine." Deadpool cut in.

-Wolverine shouted as his blades clashed with Wade's sword.

"Really? I feel like I look like a hunter… y'know?" Deadpool remarked casually as they fought. "Or maybe some kind of mountain man… A samurai mountain man!"

"That word doesn't make you a samurai!"

"Wh…why?" Bulma finally got out, looking to Deadpool with genuine fear. However, she wasn't expecting to see remorse in his eyes.

"That… that wasn't me. At least, not ME, me." Deadpool tried to explain.

"Maybe not." The Deadpool on screen commented. "But it is made out of Carbonadium, which I know wreaks havoc on your healing factor! But see… I've killed you before. And I'll kill you again, and again, and you'll just come back from the grave, again, and again, and again…" Deadpool drove the sword into Wolverine's guts, then sliced horizontally, and the Canadian Mutant's guts spilled out. "But here's a little secret: your survival has nothing to do with your healing factor. That's not your super power. It's POPULAIRTY"

In a swift strike, Deadpool decapitated Wolverine.

"But don't worry, I've got a plan. And all the popularity in the world can't save you this time!"

The whole ship was silent, everyone either looking to Deadpool in disgust, or in anger, or in fear.

"OKAY." Deadpool declared, a little miffed. Seeing both Goku and Vegeta had powered up to SSGSS without hesitation, and were ready to blast him apart. To his credit, he walked away from the others, and held his hands up. "In my defense, that wasn't me. That was an alternate universe version of me the first time, that I ended up killing. We – for some stupid reason, I can't believe the writers couldn't think of a better name – called him Dreadpool. And the second time, I was being mind-jacked by nazis and shitty writers. So, nazis."

"He's telling the truth." Skorch nodded. "Those were… not exactly a great example of what he's done. But they're part of his legacy, for better or worse."

"So, you." Whis began, pointing with his staff to Deadpool. "Are not the same Deadpool that slaughtered everyone?"

"Yup." Deadpool nodded frantically, trying to take the edge down a level. Or fifteen. "I killed that prick, and then he survived… and now I don't know if he's in canon or not. Either way, neither time it happened was by choice. I'd gladly kill any of them if I get paid enough, but I ain't doin' it for free! I… I shouldn't have said that…"

There was a slow, but gradual release of tension. Whis nodded, signalling Deadpool wasn't lying, and despite the gruesome end they just witnessed… it wasn't THIS Deadpool. However, there was now an awkward feeling as he admitted he killed for money.

"…hm…you still Buu's friend." Majin Buu conceded, and Deadpool fist-pumped victoriously.

"He did this with a sword made of Carbonadium, an alloy capable of nullifying healing factors. In other words, he cheated." Wiz added, a little annoyed.

"How does that work? Some sort of magic?" Piccolo asked with a raised brow.

"…I dunno." Deadpool shrugged. "If we were going by Thing rules, it'd nullify the healing ability by being inorganic material… but we aren't, so… I don't know what to say, Green Giant."

STRENGTHS AND FEATS

- Navigated an Obstacle Course Meant for Iron Man-Like Suits Unscathed ("Man, Bulma's gonna lose her shit when you get to that battle." Deadpool mused.)

- Completely Regenerated From A Single Hand (The Fighters found the idea of that both interesting, and horrifying.)

- Sole Person to Outwit Taskmaster ("Who?")

- Can Dodge Point-Blank Machine Guns ("How." "Because I'm badass. That's how." "That is not a satisfactory answer." "Get bent.")

- Killed the Marvel Universe Twice

- Casually Battled Red Hulk and Thanos (The fighters – once again – were curious as to who this 'Hulk' beast was, and now the red version of him. But there was something about the purple giant, Thanos, that unsettled them.)

- Once Became a Heard of Galactus

- NOT GARBAGE TEIR IN MARVEL VS CAPCOM 3

- Has Been A Member of The Avengers, X-Men, X-Force, Secret Defenders, S.H.E.I.L.D., Thunderbolts, Heroes for Hire and Mercs for Money

"Dude, your B+ Tier, stop complaining." Skorch muttered.

"First of all, bitch I'm 'S' tier! Second, I don't have to take that from a Shao Kahn and Eliza main." Deadpool retorted.

"Then how come you weren't frequent in DOOD's Marvel Lives tourney?"

"…shut up." Deadpool said crossing his arms over his chest and hunching forward as he turned away, a black cloud appearing above his head.

"On top of all that, Deadpool also has a lot of teams he likes to hang around with. From the X-Men and X-Force, to the Heroes for Hire, to the Avengers themselves!" Boomstick continued. "Granted, some of those allegiances were more to try and keep Deadpool from running off and just murdering people… but he was technically part of those teams. And… well, he did save the world on more than one occasion."

"All right." Deadpool declared, standing in front of a class room full of students. 'How 2 Git Gud' was written on the blackboard. "I'm supposed to teach all of you how to not die… well, bad news. I don't know ANY of your names, so you're all going to either die or be retconned."

"I…don't remember that happening…" Deadpool muttered.

"Still, on top of ALL that, he's survived skyscrapers collapsing on top of him, having his heart ripped out, his head blown to bits, and even his entire body melted into a puddle." Boomstick concluded.

"So… how's your day been?" Puddle-Pool remarked.

"How did you… even with your healing ability, how did you survive that?!" Goku asked bewildered.

"It hurt. A LOT." Deadpool answered. "But considering how many times you guys get beaten to death but then just get back up, is me being turned into a puddle really that hard to believe?"

"…kinda, yeah."

"Oh." Deadpool blinked. "…I don't have to answer that question then."

"Your ability to survive is quite remarkable." Whis commented. "Considering you do possess a soul… of sorts, you are still in a technical sense, 'human'."

"Yeah… I get that a lot."

"What do you mean by 'of sorts'?" Vegeta asked.

"Well, Wade does possess what humans typically call a 'soul', the part of one's being which move son to the afterlife post mortem. However, there are – or more specifically, were – forces attached to it which seemed… irregular, and impossible for a human to have discovered or attached to oneself."

"I didn't follow any of that." Deadpool blinked. "And you're literally talking about me."

"Whis is talking about the remnants of Thanos' curse." The skull-headed Entity remarked.

"Thank you, you socially awkward, mentally unstable, ghost rider rip-off." Deadpool nodded. "Yeah, I was cursed by this asshole you'll meet later in these battles to never be able to die. Not just heal super quick, like, should I die I wouldn't go to the afterlife and would just go back to my body."

"How did that happen?!" Trunks exclaimed.

"Eh, pretty much Thanos was pissy that Death preferred my Canadian Bacon to his Titan Tahini… if ya catch my drift…"

"Not really…" Trunks frowned. Beerus raised a brow, thinking it over, then chuckled slightly.

"Oh, he was upset that Death wanted to fuck me instead of him. So, he cursed me to never be with her, which only made her want me more. So… he got fucked twice, and not in the fun way."

"None of us needed to hear that. EVER." 18 grumbled. She was used to a lot of crass language and crude jokes as part of life, but Deadpool was in that category of people who did it just to try and offend and irritate. She wouldn't mind… if she didn't have her daughter with her.

"Hey, he asked." Deadpool said defensively. "And unlike Snowflame over there who thinks he's XXXbloodyrists666XXX when really he's a poor man's Firestorm808, I'm not bound by stupid rules to what I can and can't tell you all."

"That would explain what's happening with your soul, there clearly was something there on top of his soul." Whis explained, deciding to ignore Deadpool's remark. "But that kind of magic and power… it's unheard of!"

"In this world, yes." Deadpool nodded, and that did get the Angel's attention.

"But his regeneration is also responsible for one of his greatest downfalls. This power has trained him to think he's invincible, and has become quite careless in battle." Wiz explained. "And despite what he thinks, he isn't invincible. Destroy his body completely, with say… fire or acid, and he's gone. Or drop a planet on him… Don't question it. Plus, he's also lost his healing factor on more than one occasion, can be harmed by most weapons, has no real immunity to magic or super powers… really, he's survived pretty much on dumb luck alone."

"And that just if his extreme ADHD hasn't already put him into a bind." Boomstick added.

"Remember. Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots." Deadpool said, before jumping from behind a barrier, and getting blasted apart with guns. "ARGH! THIS SEEMED LIKE A FOOL-PROOF PLAN!"

"Yet there are few deadlier than the Regenerating Degenerate. Really, despite his comedic tendencies, Wade has more sides to him that one might not expect. Deadpool finally accomplished his dream of becoming the next great superhero."

"Cover her eyes." Skorch suddenly ordered, looking to 18.

"Aww… that's so sweet of you!" Deadpool said in a sing-song voice. "You wanna see me naked?!"

"WAIT. WHAT?!"

"Oh, please don't-"

"Why would-"

Deadpool suddenly appeared, fully named sitting on a bed. Now, they got a better (and very unwanted) look at his skin, seeing how deformed and sickly it was.

"AAAGGGHHH!" Was collectively screamed.

"WHY!?" Chi-Chi screamed.

"Ha! Mine's bigger than yours!"

"Take it off, or I'll destroy your universe!" Beerus ordered.

"Agh, my eyes! Can't...claw them out...fast enough...!" Boomstick moaned.

"Aaand now you're scarred for life." Deadpool remarked, then re-appeared with the fighters. "Worth it! Let's see my competition…"

The video was paused, and Deadpool left through a randomly appearing portal.

"He's weird… I like him!" Goten said.

"Yeah, how can he do all that stuff?! What kind of training would that take?!" Trunks added.

"He seems like an interesting opponent to fight, but… yeah, I can't say I think he's a hero like Spider-Man." Goku admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"He killed Spider-Man, Kakarot." Vegeta snarked. "Of course, he's not a hero like him."

"Honestly, I kind of have issues with him." 18 frowned. "I get using your powers is up to the person who has them, but it really seems like he could do a lot of good rather than what he chooses to do with them."

"If I was an asshole, I'd comment on the hypocrisy of that statement coming from you." Deadpool remarked, making 18 jump. She blinked, then gritted her teeth in anger when she realized what Wade was implying. "…but I'm not going to."

"You talking about how she was an Android?" Goku asked, and the whole ship sweat-dropped.

"…bye." Deadpool said before running away.

Deathstroke

(*Cues: Inhospitable Island/Deathstroke - Arrow*)

The doors opened, revealing a man in orange-and-black mask and black armor. Pulling a sword from his back, he dashed towards a group of nameless thugs, and everyone knew they were about to die.

"In the history of the DC universe, there has never existed a more lethal tactician and soldier than Slade Joseph Wilson." Wiz began as Deathstroke was shown driving the blade through one of them. In one fluent motion, he spun and shot another point-blank with a pistol.

"So, it's Wade and Slade?" Yamcha asked with a reside brow. "Which one was first?"

"Slade." Wade answered, clearly unhappy about it. "But I'm more popular so… up his!"

BACKGROUND

- Real Name: Slade Joseph Wilson

- Height: 6'4" / 1.93 m

- Weight: 225 lbs. / 102 kg

- Alternate Alias: The Terminator

- First Appearance: The New Teen Titans #2, 1980

- Known for Terrorizing a Certain Group of Teenage Superheroes

- Will Shoot Children in the Knees Point-Blank Using a Shotgun (That horrified some of the fighters, a few were impressed at his sheer brutality)

- Has Yet to be Accurately Portrayed Outside of His Comics

"Ron Perlman and Manu Bennett would like a word…" Skorch grumbled under his breath.

"Michael Hogan?" Deadpool asked, and Skorch shrugged. Not having seen Smallville.

"So, who's the group of teenage superheroes?" Hercule asked.

"Which one? There's like, five thousand." The Merc commented.

"After illegally joining the U.S. military at the age of 16, he fought in Korea for years where his skill earned the attention of an experimental serum program and the lovely Captain Adeline Kane." Wiz began as Slade and a woman were shown together.

"Great. Experimental serums. This should end well." Bulma muttered, knowing from science horror stories how horribly these 'super solider' programs went. She never had – and never would – partook in experiments with them (it wasn't her field of science, but that was beside the point).

"This is sounding suspiciously like the origin story of Captain America…" Boomstick remarked. Everyone saw a man in blue, red and white holding a shield. They were curious who he was, but knew he'd show up sooner or later.

"Slade actually gets the girl." Wiz added.

"Oof. Score one for Slade!" Boomstick laughed.

"Good on him." Videl nodded. "I doubt it'll last… but hey."

"Despite his young age, Slade completely mastered every fighting style under Adeline's tutelage in record time. He was already on the fast track to becoming one of the best soldiers alive."

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

"Apparently, this impressed her so much, they were married with a kid on the way in mere months."

"Nice!" Roshi nodded in approval.

"Well, that's one way of doing it." Videl said, thinking about her and her husband's marriage. It wasn't as quick, and there were more dates… but hey, it was what it was!

"Now that's my kind of woman! Oh, you're a badass? No roses! No dates! Let's fight people, get married, and plow!" Boomstick stated.

"Kinda sounds like Goku and Vegeta's marriages." Krillin remarked.

"True." Piccolo said coolly.

(*Cues: Arrow - Deathstroking / Creating an Army With a Needle*)

"Feeling pretty fucking great about life, Slade volunteered for an experiment that would help him resist enemy truth serums. Everything went exactly as planned..."

"Yeah. Bet." Vegeta said flatly as Slade was shown on a table, some dark greenish liquid being injected into him. Everything seemed to quiet down and Slade's heart beat was heard. It seemed to slow and Slade's eyes shot open, the veins around his iris' changing colour. Then, Slade burst off the table, roaring like a mad man and attacked those around him.

"You'd think these guys would've learned by now." Boomstick said as if this was the most obvious thing imaginable.

(*Cues: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Main Theme*)

"Wouldn't you know it; the injection did not have the effects they were looking for. But instead of ruining his life forever, the experiment accidentally transformed Slade into the deadliest assassin in the world."

"You really just took his whole thing, didn't you?" Tien asked, looking to Deadpool.

"No…" Deadpool said looking away.

"Yeah, you stole Spider-Man's eyes and Ryu Hayabusa weapons. You've got Wolverine's powers…"

"Man, you're comic sloppy seconds."

"Seriously?!" Deadpool yelled in annoyance. "Legally, it's transformative enough to be considered original under copyright law."

"A Terminator if you will. Which begs the question: what does the U.S. military think is in truth serums?!"

"That…that's a fair point." Beerus muttered. "How can you go from trying to resist being drugged to becoming some sort of ultra-charged assassin?"

"Comic logic, I guess." Krillin shrugged.

"Now, with badass powers, a specific set of skills, and a badass codename, Slade rose as a new man known to the world… as Deathstroke." Boomstick spoke with dramatic flair as a poster of Deathstroke appeared. 'He doesn't solve problems. He Terminates them.' Was written on it.

It took a few moments, but everyone realized Deathstroke for some reason had a top hat monocle, moustache, and was saying 'I like cheeze whiz!'

"…really?"

"No regrets!"

(*Cues: Deathstroke's Theme - Batman: Arkham Origins*)

"Deathstroke is nearly superhuman. He can hit harder, run faster, react quicker, and push himself longer than an Olympic athlete. He's also got all his years of military training and disciple on top of that, and his lethal accuracy with guns! Plus, he can use 90% of his brain, unlike the average 10%."

"Well that's just false." Bulma frowned. "I've never understood where that myth came from."

"I mean, I could believe it in Goku's case." Krillin muttered under his breath, then looked to Bulma. "What do we use the other 90% for in that case, then?"

"It's… ridiculous." Bulma sighed, shaking her head.

"Come on! If we really only used 10% of our brains, we'd be about as dumb as sheep!

"Thank you!" Bulma exclaimed with a sigh, thankful that for once that Wiz's stance on science was aligned with her's.

"You're a sheep!" Boomstick said.

"What's important here is that Deathstroke's mind can process information nine times more efficiently than an ordinary man. He can think quicker, hear better, and see faster- Agh… dammit, that's not a real thing!" Wiz groaned as he spun through a firefight, slicing a gun in two before pulling out his pistol, and shooting several attackers, hitting each and every one of them.

Deathstroke appeared in what looked like a lab, and immediately a man grabbed a gun and opened fire on him. Surprisingly, the bullets didn't seem to do anything in the slightest.

"You're wasting your bullets." Deathstroke said flatly. In a surprising move, another man jumped out and swung at him with two metal pipes. Deathstroke didn't seem at all conflicted about this, and grabbed his sword before masterfully blocking every single strike as if it was child's play before twisting Arrow's arm and flipping him onto the ground. "Don't forget who taught you how to fight, kid."

"Who taught him?" Goku asked.

"Ugh…" Piccolo groaned.

"Ooh! We should put him and Captain America into a staring contest!" Boomstick exclaimed.

"Cap would win." Deadpool said immediately.

"Ugh… He also has a healing factor, which can repair any part of his body... even if his brain is blown to smithereens."

"Bringing him back from the dead."

"Pfft! Big deal!" Deadpool said dismissively. "I can do that too!" Without warning, and in front of everyone, Deadpool grabbed a gun, put it to his head, and pulled the trigger. There were screams of disgust and horror as Deadpool's head exploded in an even more disturbing and chunkier shower of blood, brain, and skull than Spider-Man's. His body hit the floor, and didn't move.

"HOLY CRAP!" Goten screamed, genuinely disturbed by what he had just witnessed.

"Huh… that was unexpected…" Even Beerus was somewhat taken aback by what had just happened.

"Ugh… that… tha.. that's not right…" Hercule muttered.

"Buu's friend dead?! No!" Majin Buu exclaimed.

"…is someone gonna clean that up? Or…" Yamcha muttered, looking around.

"He… what… what was that idiot doing!?" Vegeta blinked, still comprehending what had just transpired. Deadpool had just… okay, well. First of all, he was here. Secondly, the idiot just shot himself point-blank in the head.

"I…was he trying to prove something?!" No. 18 muttered, looking at the bloody body still on the floor.

"I…ahem. Allow me to clean this up, unless you would rather do so?" Whis commented, looking to Skorch, who was counting down on his hand. When he reached 'one' he pointed at Deadpool.

"Ow…" Deadpool groaned pulling himself up. If the fighters thought his deformed face was disgusting, his head missing nearly half of it, with an eye hanging loosely, muscle and tendons slowly regrowing, and him being alive and talking was somehow much worse. "Ha! Suck it Deathstroke!" He weakly laughed.

"Geez, I knew you could heal but-!?" Goku blinked. He wasn't shocked that Deadpool was alive, he was shocked at how quickly Deadpool had gotten back up.

"Eh, I've done worse…" Deadpool muttered. Whis summoned some of his power and vanished the blood and gore from everyone as Deadpool's head continued healing, and then was back to normal. "Wanna see me do it again?"

"NO!" Was collectively shouted.

"Yes." Beerus said.

(*Cues: Arrow - This Ends Tonight*)

"Unfortunately, life back home was rough for Slade. His abilities were put to the test when his son was kidnapped by a group of rival mercenaries, which was most definitely a death sentence for them." Wiz said as two men were shown sitting at a table.

"War." One of the men said, playing a card game. Suddenly, the second man had a sword coming out from his chest, and he fell forward, dead.

"Who's in charge?" Deathstroke asked, showing absolutely zero patience and giving zero craps. The man jumped up and grabbed a gun, but Deathstroke simply gunned him down without a second thought. He ran forward, now wailing his sword and machine pistol, gunning down two men, then slaying another man with his sword. Unlike when Deadpool fought, it was clear that Deathstroke wasn't the kind to make jokes, or even hesitate on killing someone. Another attacker fired at Deathstroke, who blocked the bullets with his arm guards and tackled the man into the wall, spinning the attacker around with his sword at the man's gut, cutting it open.

"Wow…" Goten muttered.

Deathstroke was suddenly shot directly in the head, multiple times, knocking him to the ground. However, he quickly got back up, hitting him in the gut with his pistol, stabbed the man in the side, kicked him into a wall, and then put the sword to his throat, and then began pistol-whipping the man. Slicing the man's throat open more and more as he was beaten with the gun.

"Well, he's creative in his fighting style." Vegeta admitted, impressed with Slade's technique. There was something about his fast, frequent and multi-weaponry style that intrigued him. Vegeta was never really one for guns, and believed that it'd be much more risk than reward.

Another man ran forward, and Deathstroke grabbed him, spun him around, twisting and nearly breaking his arm, and then fired the man's machine pistol directly into his face.

"Wait. How come you're using footage from Arrow but not from my movie?!" Deadpool asked, annoyed.

"Arrow Season 2, where the majority of this footage is from, ended May 14th, 2014. This episode originally aired December 12th, 2014. Your movie came out February 12, 2016." Skorch answered.

"This is from Season Six! Also, this is WAY bloodier!"

"I said 'majority' not 'all'. Also, need to creatively transform it to ensure it's 'fair use'."

"I don't think that's how that law works." Deadpool muttered.

Deathstroke then kicked through a door which had been wielded shut, sending the heavy metal slabs flying. A man stood with a gun to a small boy, but it was clear he knew he wasn't going to make it out of here alive.

"That's my son." Deathstroke said in a voice so furious it was eerily calm. "Put the gun down, and you'll die painlessly. There is no second option."

"No. I'm going to walk out of here, and if-" the man began, but a knife suddenly was embedded in his head. Before his body hit the ground, Slade grabbed him, snapped his neck, ripped the knife out, and then shot said man three times with his own gun.

"Okay, now he's just showing off." Yamcha remarked.

"Not really, I doubt you know the feeling, but if a kid is put in danger, parents don't exactly sit back and do nothing." Krillin shrugged. Yamcha nodded, then realized he had been both proven right, and insulted.

"…yet despite a successful rescue, his son lost the ability to speak." Wiz remarked. "Be it from trauma, torture, or having his throat slit, Jericho would no longer speak."

"The poor boy…" Chi-Chi frowned. She wasn't exactly on board with slaughtering a building full of people who most likely didn't know what was happening, but at the same time, if someone took her children, she'd most likely do just that. In a weird way, she respected his goals, but not the methods he used to achieve them.

"So, his ungrateful wife lashed out in rage and Slade was never the same." Boomstick said.

"You… bastard…" Adeline mumbled, raising her gun and shooting Deathstroke in the face.

"Literally." Wiz winced.

"But he's one step closer to his secret dream of becoming a pirate." Boomstick added as Deathstroke was now seen missing an eye.

"Timing?" Piccolo muttered.

"I mean, he's got the eye and swords." Trunks shrugged.

"I dunno. I can't see him as someone who'd use a boat." Mai shrugged. (Yes, I know these three characters exist. No, I am not ignoring them intentionally. Yes, next chapter the will be there.)

"Question, Wizard: If he has a healing factor, how come he's still missing that eye?" Boomstick asked.

"Well no one knows, Boomstick, but perhaps not even a healing factor can repair the deepest of emotional wounds." Wiz answered.

"Oh, that's bullshit!" Boomstick and a few others said.

"Again, I can do that and regrow my eyes." Deadpool said dismissively. "Hell, I can regrow my whole face! Watch, Skorch! Burn it off!" The Entity seemed surprised. "Burn my face a little! Let's show-AAAAGGGHHHH!"

In mere milliseconds, Skorch's hand had grabbed Deadpool's face and set it ablaze with some sort of blue fire. The skin, muscle and bone seemed to melt and liquify, before Skorch pulled back. Ripping the remains off and leaving Deadpool missing half his head. Tossing the remains over his shoulder, Skorch picked up his fifth or sixth slushy and took a sip.

"SINCE WHEN COULD YOU DO THAT!?" Krillin shouted. "ALSO, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THAT SOONER?! LIKE AGAINST FRIEZA?!" There was no answer.

"Despite his new lack of depth perception, Deathstroke remained as skilled and lethal as ever. Heck, in some regards, he became even deadlier."

"No. Cutting your eye out doesn't make you stronger." Vegeta said flatly. "Don't try it."

"Partially thanks to his favorite gear. I'm talkin' dual machine guns, a uber-powerful sniper rifle, which if we had to guess, is most likely a comparable to the Lobaev Arms SVLK-14S, which is capable of ruining someone's day from up to two miles away, and a super bomb!"

"Which is actually just a glorified flashbang grenade with trace bits of Kryptonite. Guess who that's for?" Wiz muttered sarcastically.

"The guy who's gonna fight Goku in one of the most biased fanboy videos ever!" Deadpool commented appearing on screen.

"WHAT!?"

"Shut up, Wade!"

"Okay, Ben!" Deadpool said sarcastically.

"This is just getting weird…" Boomstick commented.

Deadpool drops off-screen and re-appeared on the ship.

"Bye." Skorch said before disappearing, clearly not wanting to be here right now.

Beerus looked to Whis and nodded, who somehow opened a portal and reached in, pulling Skorch back through it.

"I'm sorry. What the HELL!?" The Entity exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well, something I've found is while you do have powers beyond anything any of us have ever seen, you're limited to what form you take." The Angel shrugged as if this was common knowledge. "As such, your skeletal form is technically anchored in this plane of reality, and is subject to our laws."

"…well f**k me." Skorch muttered, then glared at Deadpool. "No."

"WHO AM I FIGHTING!?" Goku exclaimed, grabbing Skorch and shaking him with such energetic force, that Skorch's skull fell off. "Uh… oops."

"Talk to me later." Skorch said, kicking his skull up like a soccer ball.

"Aw, c'mon man!" Goku groaned.

"So, back to the weapons!" Boomstick continued. "Deathstroke prefers his sweet Thundercat-style sword and laser-shooting energy lance. But when he needs some fast firepower, he breaks out his hand guns. From the looks of it, Slade carries multiple Desert Eagle Mark XIX's. In gun terms, the Desert Eagle is a semi-automatic pistol known for chambering the largest centerfire cartridge of any magazine-fed, self-loading pistol. Designed and developed by the Magnum Research Inc. It's commonly used in specific branches of the Military, but has draw-backs, such as the seven-bullet capacity, when compared to say, the CZ 75, which can hold nine shots. But, two things: one, the Deagle is commonly referred to as one of more powerful handguns on the market. And Two, Deathstroke only needs one shot."

WEAPONS AND ARMOR

- Dual Machine Guns

- Sniper Rifle

- Energy Lance

- Sword

- Fires a Concussive Laster Blast

Super Bomb

- A Very Expensive Flash Grenade Designed to Keep Superman at Bay

Armor

- Partially Composed of Nth Metal

- Slightly Enhances Strength and Speed

Desert Eagle Handgun

- Caliber: .50 AE

- Barrel Length: 6"

- Overall Length: 10-3/4"

- Sights: Fixed

- Magazine: 7

- Capacity Weight: 72 oz.

"Also, he's got an awesome suit of armor, made up of Kevlar and Nth metal." Boomstick added as Deathstroke suited up before putting his mask on.

"Oh look! Yet another fictional alloy that's stronger and lighter than titanium!" Wiz grumbled, clearly annoyed by the 'comic logic' in use. "Also, he has armor composed of promethium."

"How?" Bulma frowned. "Promethium is a chemical…"

"Well, my shirt is made up of "Boomstick-ium". See? I can make up alloys too, writers." Boomstick countered.

"Actually, Boomstick, promethium is a real thing." Wiz commented as a glowing green liquid was shown in a glass dish.

"Oh, come on!"

"What's it used for?" No. 18 asked. "That stuff looks familiar…"

"It's usually used in batt-"

"Though in real life, it's a chemical used in atomic batteries to power guided missiles and spacecrafts. But in comic book land, it's not that at all. It can absorb energy, is incredibly strong, and is self-regenerative." Wiz explained.

"That." Bulma nodded.

"…wait. His… his suit is self-regenerative?" Piccolo asked, picking up on the tail end of Wiz's remark. "What exactly does he mean by that?"

"I think it means his suit has something that would make my life a lot easier." Chi-Chi sighed with a roll of her eyes.

"Wait, so his suit has a healing factor too? So, does like his zipper try and close itself when he wants to take a leak?" Boomstick asked.

"I kind of want answers to that." Goten admitted.

"Same." Roshi nodded.

"I mean… yeah, actually. That could be a real problem." Krillin said.

"Because that's horrifying. I mean I remember when I got my junk stuck in the toaster-"

"What." Was flatly and collectively asked.

(*Cues: Teen Titans - Robin vs. Slade*)

"With his impressive skills and arsenal, Deathstroke has defeated dozens of ninjas at once, survived an exploding nuclear submarine, and took down most of the Justice League by himself."

"Who're the Justice League again?" Videl asked.

"Wonder Woman, Batman, Aquaman, Flash, Superman, Green Lantern, Green Arrow and sometimes Cyborg, Shazam, and Hawkgirl among some others." Skorch answered.

"Wow. And Deathstroke… beat most of them?!" Videl asked with wide eyes, and Skorch nodded.

STRENGTHS AND FEATS

- Downed 38 Men in Under 2 Minutes

- Had His Brains Shot Out, Came Back to Life Just Hours Later ("So? I can-" "NO.")

- Beat Most of the Justice League (That impressed some of the fighters.)

- Decisively and Absolutely Defeated Batman in a Hand-to-Hand Fight (That was very surprising to the fighters)

- Agile Enough To Elude Superman (Again, Goku wanted more than ever to know who 'Superman' was.)

- Fought His Way Through Multiple Battalions

- Disrupted A Crime Empire Single-Handedly (With Arrow's Help) ("Hrgh… not bad." Vegeta conceded.)

- Can See at the Subatomic Level

- Able to Kick Down a Reinforced Steel Door With Ease

- Survived For Several Years Alone On a Deserted Island, Twice

- Trained Green Arrow

- Killed Moira Queen (Green Arrow's Mom)

"Hold on, he trained Green Arrow, but killed his mother?" Yamcha asked. "Why?"

"Dude, it's a LOOOOOOOONNNNGGG story." Deadpool said dramatically. "Depending on the canon we're going by, it would either take a ton of comics, or 170 episodes of a TV show. Twenty-three of which you can skip, Season Four wasn't that great."

"How are you able to watch this stuff? You exist in another dimension!"

"Because screw you and the fourth wall. That's why."

"Sorry, weird question." Trunks spoke up. "Is the fourth wall a real thing?"

"Eeeehhhh… sorta." Deadpool explained. "The fourth wall is essentially the barrier between us and Wiz and Boomstick. We can see them, but they can't see us. Like how the readers can see us, but you can't see them."

"So, it's not an actual wall?"

"No. As far as I know." Deadpool shook his head. "Although, if it was, I wonder what's on top of the fourth wall…"

"Bad comics burning."

"You said 'readers' what do you mean by that?!" Vegeta spoke up.

"He's also really good at push-ups." Boomstick said as they showed footage of Deathstroke in his cell room doing some push-ups.

"Uh... how many push-ups can he do?" Wiz asked, and everything went silent for about ten seconds as Deathstroke kept doing push-ups.

"All of them." Boomstick declared.

"Eh, I could do more." Goku shrugged, as if this was a simple challenge.

"DON'T IGNORE ME, YOU FREAK!"

"Yelling gets you nowhere." Deadpool replied.

"Despite multiple members of the Justice League agreeing he's the best tactician on the planet, Deathstroke is known for violent outbursts of rage when in extreme pain. Depending on who he's fighting, this can make him even more dangerous." Wiz continued. "He also can be outsmarted and outfought, and his regeneration can only do so much."

"Also, when he decides to juice using Mirakuru… he kinda loses it completely." Boomstick added as viles of green liquid were shown.

MIRAKURU

- Japanese for 'Miracle'

- Enhancements Strength, Senses, Stamina and Endurance

- Also May Give Users Regenerative Abilities

- May Be Fatal If Not Administrated Properly

- Causes Severe Internal Damage and Deformation

- Drives User Into Bloodthirsty Rage

- Will Kill Most Users After It Metabolizes Inside Their Body, Odds Of Life/Death 1 to 1

"Like, he becomes borderline invincible – even more so than before! – but it drives him batcrap insane if he takes too much. Also, while he did take down most of the Justice League, he can be beaten by a team of superheroes working together."

"Does that really matter in a one-v-one fight?" Goten asked.

"Why would someone use that if it's so likely to kill him?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Honestly, if it gives you what it claims to, it's understandable." Roshi answered. "If you don't know if you can win a fight, why not do what you can do to win? I don't like it, but in Slade's case, when you're a mercenary and assassin, it kinda makes sense."

"Still, when someone needs a problem dealt with, they call up the one-eyed swordsman. Deathstroke doesn't just solve problems. He terminates them." Boomstick concluded.

"I am the thing that keeps you up at night." Deathstroke spoke in a low, menacing tone as he picked up a teenage superhero, Robin or something, some of the fighters thought. "The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest... and neither will you."

"…that's just creepy." No. 18 said as the doors closed and Yamcha paused the video.

"I'm voting for Deadpool."

"You're Deadpool!" Hercule said.

"And?"

"As bemoaned as I am to say this, I believe this idiot will win." Beerus muttered, nodding to Deadpool.

"REEEALLLYYY?!"

"Silence." Beerus ordered. "Despite him clearly being better trained, Deathstroke doesn't appear to have any way to put him down for good, short of blowing him up and incinerating his body."

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said about me!" Deadpool exclaimed, suddenly hugging Beerus. An action which shocked everyone who saw him do it, and clearly was not one that Beerus liked.

"Get off me… or I will DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE!" Beerus snarled, breaking free and kicking Deadpool across the floor.

"How?" Deadpool snarked. "You can't get to my world, Garfield!" Beerus was going to reply, but seemed to get even more agitated when he realized Deadpool was right.

"I agree with Lord Beerus." Goku nodded.

"Simp!"

"…Deadpool's way more chaotic in his fighting style, and his carbon sword can probably take Deathstroke down pretty easily."

"I disagree." Vegeta nodded. "Just because he doesn't have a sword like Deadpool's doesn't mean he can't destroy him with everything else he has."

"Yeah, I think Deathstroke has the advantage from a sword perspective as well." Krillin added. "Deadpool's seem effective, but it looks like Deathstroke's could just cut them in half."

Again, there was a pretty even split between who they thought would win. While Deadpool's weaponry seemed more adept to take on anything, Deathstroke seemed to be better trained. Deadpool however, the magnificent, sexy, hero of the realms who everyone would bow down and-

"Hey! Get outta here!"

"Not my fault your stories suck!"

Deadpool seemed to have a more chaotic edge to him, his unpredictability and tools might give him an advantage. Thing was, both of them had skills in killing people, both had taken on large groups of people and both had skills with guns and swords. Also, seeing Deadpool's chaotic self going against Slade's stoic and violent personality would make for a fun fight. Deadpool, disappeared, saying he'd be back. (Much to everyone's chagrin)

"Alright, the combatants are set. It's time to end this debate once and for all." Wiz stated matter-of-factly.

"IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!" Boomstick declared.

The doors closed, the re-opened. The camera panned across what seemed like a rather normal town. It passed by a convenience store with two men standing outside, going past what looked like a video rental store with a poster for a movie called 'Dragon Ball Super: Battle of Gods', then pulling back across a street into a park. It showed a WANTED poster of Deathstroke with a $5,000,010 bounty, then pans next to the bounty poster of Deadpool's with a $5,000,000 bounty. The camera pulled back, and revealed that the two mercenaries are observing the poster of the latter.

"PFFT! What a rip! Seriously, what makes this chump worth 10 bucks more than me? C'mon! I'm me!" Deadpool said, clearly offended by the minor difference in bounty prices. "What!? Am I right?"

"…" Deathstroke was silent.

"Do they not realize-" Tien began.

"Yeah, I am. I'm pretty sure. I mean, this Deathstroke chump doesn't have a film to speak of, and no. Animated movies and cameos in post-credit scenes don't count. Whaddya think bub?"

Deadpool and Deathstroke then realized they were standing next to each other and somersault backwards, getting into a fighting stance.

"It's your lucky day." Deathstroke said as he grabbed his guns. "I can show you."

"Oh, boy! A show?" Deadpool asked, grabbing his machine guns. "Can I get popcorn first? I hope they have salt and pepper shakers. I love them to be tasty."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me." Skorch commented, taking the jiffy pop off of his trench coat where he had been making it… only to find it was burned to ashes. "Whoops."

"FIGHT!" Deadpool shouted. Both combatants opened fire on each other in a story of bullets and casings. Their machine guns seemed to somehow be deflecting each one of their bullets. "BANG! BANG! BANG! B-B-B-BANG!"

"Does he ever shut up?" Beerus muttered.

Going into slow motion, a stream of six bullets came from each gun, and every bullet hit another bullet, crushing the ammo inwards and falling harmlessly to the ground.

"Can that happen?" Marron asked, confused.

"Eh… not to that degree." Roshi remarked. "Sure, it's possible for bullets to hit each other when shot at relatively the same height and all that, but with a machine gun, there's wayyyy to many factors that would stop that from happening."

"…how do you know that?" No. 18 asked.

Both combatants kept firing, and the bullets kept colliding, but a few slipped past, and Deathstroke had the right side of his helmet ever so slightly grazed, but it wasn't enough to return him or even take his attention away from the fight, until suddenly their guns began clicking.

"Aw, c'mon! Movie guns never run out of ammo!" Deadpool groaned. "Wait. Was that twelve bullets?"

Throwing the machine guns away, Slade ejected the clips, then swiped across his legs, two ammo magazines going into the guns, tossing one on the air, he slammed the bottom of the magazine and racked the bullet, then caught the other gun and did the same thing to it.

"I'd say he's just showing off… but that was pretty cool." Krillin admitted.

Deathstroke looked around, confused as to how Deadpool could've just disappeared, he hadn't taken his eye off of him for less than a second…

"BAMF!" Without warning, Deadpool appeared and punched Slade in the gut, then unleashed a flurry of quick strikes, hitting the mercenaries' chest, then spinning low and kicking him in the leg. If there was one thing everyone had to give Deadpool, he was fast.

"But not when it counts! Hayoooo!" Deadpool shouted, no one understanding what he was talking about. "BAMF!"

Deadpool teleported away, then appeared in front of Slade again, hitting him with a familiar attack.

"SHORYUKEN!"

"Deadpool's met Ryu?" Goku asked. Skorch nodded.

Backflipping into the air, Deadpool slowed down (somehow) as Deathstroke slid to a stop.

"Check out this rad air!" Deadpool shouted, suddenly wearing a backwards baseball cap, red hoodie, and holding a skateboard. Shooting forward, Deadpool kicked Slade in the stomach, then backflipped again, kicking his opponent in the jaw. Surprisingly, while it seemed to hurt, Slade landed masterfully and didn't move. It seemed like he wasn't being thrown off-balance as one might think. Either his armor provided extra weight to keep him grounded, or he was that strong-willed that physics didn't apply to him the same. "BAMF!"

This time, Deathstroke turned and grabbed Wade's leg, spinning and slamming him into the nearby bus stop, denting the metal post before throwing him away, and grabbing his lance.

"A Donatello fan, huh?" Deadpool asked as he took out his twin katanas. "I was always more of a Leonardo guy myself. Although, I think most people would pin me more as a Michelangelo, you know that's them labeling—"

Crack! In one swift movement, the lance connected with Deadpool's chin, a few of the fighters winced, imagining the painful vibration one would feel when being smashed in the face with a metal staff… but that was only the beginning. Jumping and moving as if the staff was an extension of himself, Deathstroke landed blow after blow on Deadpool, making the Merc with a Mouth scream like a girl on each impact.

"I will not be labelled!" Deadpool cried, seeming offended. The pair went back to fighting, Deathstroke was now using his staff to keep Deadpool back, and out of reach from his sword. Deathstroke truly seemed to have talent with his staff. Deadpool kept trying to hit Deathstroke but the Terminator just seemed to be better at blocking Deadpool's katanas. Deadpool was swinging his swords quickly and anarchically, while Deathstroke's movements weren't slower, but they were more calculated and larger, before coming up from the side and essentially slapping Deadpool and sending him flying before crashing into the ground and skidding along the dirt. Slade ran after him, jumping into a backflip, then landed in a roll forward in what looked pretty cool. "BAMF!"

Deathstroke jumped into the air, spinning his staff like a helicopter as he came flying down, and Deadpool blocked his attack with his swords.

"This fight is a lot more… normal than I expected." Piccolo commented, watching Wade and Slade go back-and-forth with their weapons clashing. Knocking Deadpool into the air, Slade spun his staff and repetitively hitting the Merc.

"OW, MY KIDNEY!"

Deadpool teleported into the air and spun down towards Deathstroke once more, but this time, Deadpool's blades shattered when they hit Slade's staff.

"Uh-oh." Deadpool blinked, then disappeared, reappearing near the road. Deathstroke ran back towards Deadpool and jumped over a fence.

"I gotta say, it's kinda an honor to get the snot beaten out of me by you of all people. Bruises aside, of course." Deadpool commented.

"Yeah, for someone who knows he's a comic character, it must be kinda weird to fight the guy you were based off of." Videl commented.

"Kinda wonder if there's anyone based off of us that we would end up fighting." Krillin added, raising a brow when Skorch seemed to be desperately trying to withhold a laugh.

"Let's see what kind of mark this leaves on you." Deathstroke growled as he spun his staff around, some sort of power charging up before he shot a laser out of his lance. The weapon was interesting, and some of the fighters found the lance a unique weapon compared to some of the other more 'sword'-sword-fighters they'd seen. The blast went clean through the Merc, piercing through Deadpool's stomach and blowing out his back, leaving a sizable hole as he sent flying backwards toward the road, and suddenly he got hit by a incoming truck.

"Ow." Goku winced.

"ACK!" Deadpool shouted as his blood spilt into the windshield and his wound closed. "Hey buddy! Don't let me slow you down!"

"…the fact that the driver isn't screaming is… concerning." Yamcha muttered. Deadpool teleported on top of the RV and pulled out one of his guns.

"Where is that son of a gun? I'm gonna show him what for, I swear-"

"And…" No. 18 began.

BANG!

"OOOOH SHIT!" Deadpool (and a few others) winced as a bullet went directly through his head, sending him flying.

"There." The Ex-Android concluded. Deathstroke was lying on another truck, reloading a powerful-looking sniper rifle in the general direction of Deadpool.

(*Cues: FF7: Advent Children - The Chase of Highway*)

"Look at me, LOOK AT ME! Do not slow down!" Deadpool yelled at the driver, who once again, clearly had no reaction.

Deadpool teleports on top of truck again, only to be shot at by Deathstroke. Despite Slade's advanced skill, Deadpool kept teleporting away from each shot, going car-to-car as he did it. They passed under a sign telling them they were about to cross the Pérez Bridge, with exits to Gotham City, Asgard, Lavender Town and West City.

"Oh hey, there's West City." Krillin pointed it out.

"I don't know why, but Lavender Town gives me a bad feeling…" Piccolo muttered, unsure why he felt this way.

"Really? It kinda sounds nice." Chi-Chi shrugged.

"How is he…" Deathstroke muttered. "His power's nothing like Raven's… some sort of technology, perhaps?"

BANG!

"MISSED ME!"

BANG!

"*Makes Zoidberg sounds*"

BANG!

"I!"

BANG!

"HATE!"

BANG!

"YOUR!"

BANG!

Deadpool suddenly appeared right behind Deathstroke, who didn't seem to notice. "…DUMBFACE!"

Not even looking behind him, Deathstroke punched Deadpool in the face, then hit him several more times with his fists before grabbing a knife and stabbing Deadpool in the gut. He ripped the blade out and got a few more strikes off on Deadpool.

"OH, MY KIDNEY!" Deadpool screamed.

"Does he ALWAYS say what just happened?" Vegeta muttered.

"It'd appear so." Whis nodded.

Deathstroke refused to let up, hitting Deadpool in the leg, chest, and then upper-cutting him in the jaw, sending him flying.

"Do you ever shut up?" Deathstroke rhetorically asked, taking his sword out and spinning it before taking another stance.

"Oh, is it sword-fight time? Good thing I carry spares!" Deadpool remarked, pulling two more swords out from behind him.

"Hang on. How does he…" Goku muttered. "Hey, Skorch. How is that a thing?"

"Beats me." Skorch shrugged. "I can open portals to different realms to grab what I need, Kace has an actual bag with mystical properties… or something. But I don't know how Deadpool does it."

"You think you could make another one of those bags?" Piccolo asked. "Long-term, it'd make carrying supplies easier. Also, if we have to gather the Dragon Balls, that'd be useful instead of risking them getting stolen."

"I mean, maybe." Skorch shrugged. "The materials are hella rare though..."

The pair of Mercs returned to their sword play. Deathstroke being more methodious in his attacks, always allowing himself to counter any of Deadpool's would-be strokes. Deadpool was moving quickly, ducking and weaving in and out of the battle. They did get slices off on one another, with Deathstroke's attacks being fewer, but more jagged, for lack of a better word. Deadpool's swords made cuts, and they looked painful, but nothing too deadly. It was also clear their healing factors were quick to repair… well, their sword wounds. Deathstroke wasn't talking too much, clearly more focused in trying to figure out Deadpool's M.O. however, much like a number of the fighters watching, they couldn't really pin down what he was doing all the time.

"Guess it's cutting time!" Deadpool exclaimed, before dashing back and forth four times, slicing at Deathstroke in what normally would've been a painful, possibly lethal blow. But not in this case.

"Really seems like Deadpool's just doing whatever and hoping it works." Trunks commented. "Even if you can get shot in the head and survive, it feels like you should still take this more seriously…"

"Exactly." Vegeta nodded. "Regardless of powers, enemy, strength or skill. Fight every battle as if your life depends on it. Most enemies won't show you any mercy, so you can't let yourself fall into routine."

Deathstroke spun Wade's blades around, gaining the upper hand as the Merc with a Mouth was left wide open. Slade took the opportunity and shot Deadpool in the face several times with his pistol, and breaks Deadpool's spare katanas in a follow up motion.

"Geez, those swords aren't that useful." Goku frowned. "If they keep breaking, what's the point of using them?"

"If you spent half as much time concentrating as you do talking, perhaps you would be less predictable." Deathstroke commented.

"Finally, someone with some semblance of intelligence." Beerus muttered.

"I mean… yeah." Vegeta muttered.

"I dunno, he kinda seems to make do with what he does. Somehow." Bulma muttered.

"OH, C'MON! I'M PREDICTABLE!?" Deadpool shouted, clearly offended, then looked to those watching, going back and forth with a 'WTF?!' look. "REALLY!?"

"Yes." Vegeta muttered.

"Kinda, yeah." Piccolo nodded.

"Oh, screw you two as well!" Deadpool yelled, before suddenly pulling a boombox out from nowhere and hitting play.

"Hold on. Where is this-" Bulma began as a loud rock-hip-hop beat began playing. Ripping his costume in half, now wearing black-and-red sweatpants and a hoodie, with a golden chain around his neck and a 'D-Pooly' head band. Those watching sweat-dropped in confusion or shock at the sheer absurdity of what was happening

Please don't run about

(In my house, in my house)

Please don't talk about it,

Deadpool immediately began break-dancing. Moving to the beat and dancing to the music, inexplicably (as if this wasn't weird enough, folks) a series of speakers appeared behind him with a crowd cheering along the bottom of the screen. The younger fighters were mostly just along for the insanity, enjoying the spectacle of Deadpool's… Deadpool-ness.

"I…okay. Whatever. I'm done trying to figure this guy out." Bulma muttered.

"Where did those people…"

"…where'd the boombox…"

"How is he staying on the bus?"

Please don't tell a lie, please don't make a lie

Please please, don't don't, never never, do it do it

Deathstroke groaned, a reaction most of the fighters shared, before running forward and attacking Wade with his sword, only for Deadpool to dance around the attacks as the sword slashed against the bus, Deadpool teleported, suddenly re-appearing on the ship in front of the screen and continuing his routine. Deadpool was currently spinning on his hands before backflipping, landing with one knee extended and one crouched, then jumped back up, flashed a peace sign to some, flipped off Vegeta and Piccolo, then teleported back into the episode.

Don't you understand what I mean when I say so?

Never do it now, never do it now!

"Splick, splick, Dynamite!"

I just don't know why you make me feel like this again!

Never do it now, never, never, never!

"He's coming for me, Watch the fight!" Deadpool continued, moonwalking across the bus. Deathstroke seemed to have stopped caring and jumped and held onto the side of the bus, before grabbing a pistol and shooting a tire several times, blowing it ("Ha!") and causing the bus to begin skidding and smashing into other cars. Deadpool looked around, then saw a car flying towards him. Deathstroke just ran forward and jumped onto the incoming car, flipping off of it and rolling across the roof of the bus. The cars began to collide with one another, they seemed to somehow go flying into the air, the (confusingly high amount of) cars all began swerving and crashing into each other, metal was crushed, glass shattered and flew, the engines caught on fire, and one after another began to explode.

"Eh, I've seen better destruction." Beerus shrugged, still at least somewhat amused with the battle.

"And this is what I'm pretty sure will happen if I ever let Goku drive." Chi-Chi said flatly.

"Actually, I've always wondered that. Why would he need to drive? He can fly." Krillin commented.

"I… I don't know."

The bus crashed into a large truck, the back end of it went up into the air, and Deadpool appeared on the end, back to his regular get up. He ran up the back of it, and launched himself off, Deathstroke did the same with the bus, and the two flew at one another. Then everything froze and flashed white as the music seemed to reach a climax. The truck flipped over and continued trashing everything as Deadpool and Deathstroke kept fighting, landing on cars and jumping off of them and trying to strike once more. Deathstroke was getting hits off on Deadpool, and it seemed like the Merc with a Mouth was slowing down a little. But they weren't sure how or even if Deathstroke could put Deadpool down. Maybe if he shot him enough and destroyed enough of his organs that could keep Deadpool from regenerating. Deadpool opened fire once more, and while Slade's sword managed to block some of the bullets, a decent number of them struck Deathstroke. They landed on cars and had to run as if they were on floating logs before jumping and attacking in another series of strikes. They landed on the side of a bus, and while Deathstroke kept ran forward, Deadpool kept shooting. Slade seemed to drop all pretense of defense and ran forward, only for Deadpool to jump over him. Deadpool seemed to be using his pistols as both guns and fists as Slade fired back, bursts of blood flying out of each combatant. Honestly the fight got so fast it was getting hard to tell which hits were landing and which were missing. It also was hard to tell who had the lead, as both of their healing weapons were doing a good job of keeping both of them standing. Really, the only ones losing were whoever owned or were in the vehicles, and Deadpool's costume. Their weapons clashed and the screen froze again, then froze twice more in an inverted colour shot.

"…are the discs damaged or something? I don't think that should be happening." Goten asked.

Then the fight went back to normal.

"Never mind."

"OW! OW! OW! MY OTHER LUNG! OW! OW! OW!"

Deathstroke was slashing Wade fast and harshly with his sword, occasionally mixing in some gun fire before spinning the Merc around, and driving the sword through his back and coming through his chest, it was clear his spine, ribs, and probably lungs, were destroyed in the stab.

"Oof…" Yamcha winced.

"MY SPINE!" Deadpool shouted, before being point-blanked in the back of the head, sending him flying off of the sword and flying into a spinning car. "MY LEG! Agh… Time out! It's cramping!"

Deathstroke jumped up, spun in a circle, and then came slashing down on the car, slicing it clean in two, and just barely missing Wade. Turing around, the car exploded and Slade covered his face.

"Hey. Where's his sword?" Goku asked, and everyone seemed to realize – at the same time Deathstroke – that his sword was gone. Looking back up to the explosion. Deadpool came flying in out of nowhere and rand Slade through with his own sword.

"Damn! That's gotta hurt…"

"It does look rather painful, even with his regenerative abilities." Whis agreed.

"Pop-Pop, watching Deathstroke—" Deadpool began, only for a flaming semitruck flying through the air and was about to collide with Deadpool.

"Ah, Dammit!" Wade groaned. "OH, MY THIRD LUNG!"

"That remark about cancer hitting him like a flaming semi suddenly makes a lot more sense now. I can't tell if that's cool, or concerning." Roshi stated. "I guess it's both."

The truck plowed into Deadpool, and then the truck crashed into the bridge, and exploded. In the aftermath of said explosion, cars continued raining down and crashing onto the remains of the bridge. Deathstroke fell from above and landed on his back, both partially dislodging the blade in his chest, and screwing with his organs more.

"Well. That escalated quickly." Deadpool muttered, and everyone realized he was missing an arm. "Hey, could you lend me a hand?"

"Of course, he'd say that…"

"Yeah, you might want to lay low for a couple of days, cause... you are, pretty much responsible for a mass murder."

"I'm pretty sure Deadpool was the one who caused most of the destruction." Goku said.

"Shut up, Sean!" Deadpool snapped, pointing at Goku with his leg, what? Deathstroke pulled himself up, the sword still in his chest. "Hahahaha! It's a Deathstroke kabob!"

Suddenly, Deadpool realized he was pointing with his leg. He looked down and saw his arm where his leg should be.

"Whoops! Hang on, give me a sec... Oh, this is going to hurt!"

As Deathstroke pulled himself up, Wade could be heard groaning and flesh tearing as he (presumably) ripped off his limbs and re-attached them. Groaning, Deathstroke growled the hilt of the sword and growled as he slowly pulled it out, before ripping it out in one disgusting, but fluid motion. Planting the sword on the ground, Deathstroke got to his feet, breathing heavily.

"I've… had enough… of this…" Deathstroke growled, taking a needle out of his pouch, looked at it, seeming almost remorseful that he was going to use this, and then jabbed it into his neck. "Rrrghh…"

Deathstroke's breathing seemed to pick up, becoming more agitated, and his eye had green veins now appearing on his eye. He yelled in anger and jumped forward, now pushing Deadpool back, keeping him on the defensive.

"Geez, he seemed so collected. How powerful is that Mirrorku stuff?" Goku asked, surprised at how aggressive Deathstroke had suddenly become.

"Whoa, hold on! You heal fast too? I got something special for that!" Deadpool said.

(*Cues: Sword Art Online - Swordland Theme*)

"Carbonadium Sword! Murdering all your pesky Wolverines and Saberteeth since 2012! Good year for cinema." Deadpool declared.

"Oh, right. Why didn't he start with that?" Vegeta asked.

"I don't think it's his style. Or he's too stupid to think of that."

"Oh, I wouldn't be the one to talk Gee." Deadpool muttered, looking to the viewers.

The two clashed once more, Deathstroke seemingly throwing all care, strategy and discipline to the wind as he now just wanted to kill Wade. Their blades clashed and they were now locked in a struggle, trying to break the other's. Deadpool held onto the sword with one hand, and grabbed a gun with the other.

"All the children in the audience, COVER YOUR EYES." Deadpool ordered. 18 instinctively covered Marron's eyes as Deadpool pulled the trigger and blew Desthstroke's remaining eye out of his head.

"Well, that's gotta hurt… it was the only eye he had left…" Trunks muttered. "How can he fight?!"

"I don't think he can…" Videl shrugged.

Deadpool teleported behind Slade, stabbing him through the chest, bringing him to his knees. Deadpool ripped the blade out and seemed to hit Slade's throat, the yellow-clad-killed fell forward, and the screen cut to black.

"Is… is he dead?" No. 18 asked.

"I think he may be, that sword could disable his healing factor, and if Wade didn't decapitate him, that stab to the chest is gonna do some real damage." Bulma reasoned.

"And the moral of the story is…" Deathstroke began… only for it to be revealed Deadpool was using Slade's head like a puppet. "Ah! Deadpool wins!"

"Eww…" Chi-Chi winced.

"Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa Buena, Dale a tu cuerpo this it totally racist! Hey Chimichang-OMP." Deadpool as he sang a song as a car exploded and he danced in front of the fire.

K.O.!

"Well… that was… different." Piccolo commented.

That was the general consensus. Even those who voted for Deathstroke had realized part-way through the battle that this might not end with Slade winning. There was some so… chaotic, about Deadpool, that it wasn't clear if Slade could beat him. Then, once Wade started pulling his limbs off, it was kinda clear he would win.

(*Cues: CJuicy - Macarena (Moombathon Remix)*)

"Oh! Oh, FanFic reviews! Oh, I see you rolling. Oh, you're hating. Oh, it wounds me so- it doesn't at all. Explain how I beat this asshole." Deadpool said before waving dismissively.

"Don't tell me how to do my job." Wiz said annoyed before clearing his throat. "This was a surprisingly even match. Though Deathstroke was the superior fighter of the two and had the better armor, Deadpool could take all his punishment and give just as much."

"Deathstroke's smart, so normally he would have no problem predicting his opponent's moves, but Deadpool is so unpredictable, not even Taskmaster, or sometimes even himself for that matter, can keep up with whatever he's doing." Boomstick added with the explanation. "Also, while the Mirakuru gives Slade an advantage, and doesn't affect him as horribly as a first-time user-"

"Geez! If that's what happens to you after you've used before, I REALLY don't wanna see what happens when you first use it!" Goku exclaimed.

"-it still really screws with him, making him lose what little of his self-control he had left."

"Unfortunately for Deathstroke, he didn't have as many means to put Deadpool down for good as Wade had for Slade." Wiz explained. "And while Deathstroke's healing factor was perfect for repairing damage, Deadpool's trumped his by being capable of replacing entire organs at a much faster rate. On top of that, while Slade's weaponry can hurt Wade, and could put him down if he had enough time, Wade had the Carbonadium sword. Seems like sometimes the original isn't always the best."

"Deadpool is just a cut above the rest." Boomstick concluded.

"The winner is-"

"Spider-Man! I mean Deadpool, shit!" Deadpool exclaimed appearing from nowhere, then cursed when he realized he screwed up.

"Well, that was an experience." Someone commented.

"So… what are you doing now?" Goten asked, looking to Deadpool, who shrugged.

"I'll be gone before the next chapter begins, but I think there's gonna be a time jump, so who knows."

"What are you going on about?!" Vegeta demanded.

"You'll find out… eventually." Wade said ominously. "Oh, Garfield. Here."

Beerus raised a brow as Deadpool threw something wrapped in tinfoil at him. Unwrapping it, Beerus' confusion was only added to when he saw the greasy wrap staring back at him.

"This is…"

"A chimichanga." Deadpool shrugged. "They're like, all I live off of. Those, alcohol, and cocaine- I mean friendship."

"Hrgh… fine. But if I'm dissatisfied with it, I will find a way to destroy your world." The God of Destruction stated before taking a bite. At first, he seemed indifferent maybe a little disappointed, then his expression changed. "This is… different." He commented, taking another bite. "What's in this, exactly?"

"Beans, sour cream, chicken, tomato sauce, lettuce, peppers, Mexican sauce…" Wade lifted some of the ingredients off. "Oh, and then you deep-fry it."

"Huh… this is actually pretty good…" The God muttered, taking another bite.

"So, you're going to answer some questions now, right?" Bulma asked, looking to Skorch.

"One thing I gotta do first. Wade! You're helpin' me. Read em' off." Skorch said as he walked off, Wade following behind him.

"Really!? Awesome! First you have one from a 'Bitchqueen', nice name… This Queen wrote…

I hope one day you make sephiroth vs vergil

"Totally will, one day. I know I'm jumping around a lot, but there are some I need to do before I get to that one. Next, we have one from a 'IrishKatana', and this wee lass-

"Stop." Deadpool ordered.

"…I'm sorry."

I think I have combatants for the rest of the turtles Raphael vs Electra, Donatello vs Billy (MMPR), and Michelangelo vs Maxi or Randy Cunningham

"I like those match-ups! Hey, considering how much you re-write these already, are you open to making your own Death Battles?"

"Yes and no. I'd love to… but I have a number of heavily requested chapters to get through, and I don't want to make the readers wait more than they have to. Still, if there was massive fan demand for like, one Death Battle everyone wanted, I wouldn't be against it. We'll talk about this later. Next up comes from one 'Avenger', and they wrote…

Will you do Ben 10 vs Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)? Only with a better, more accurate ending this time around. Ben with Alien X had that fight, not mention they used ten-year old Ben and his old Omnitrix. Such BS.

"Eeegghh… I'll… I'll need some time. I haven't watched Ben 10 since the OG-OG series back in like, 2005. I only saw a little bit of it, and that weird Alien Swarm film from 2009. I have ZERO memory of it though…"

"Dang, I thought that show ended in 2011! Uh… now, we've got one from a 'Guest', who asks…

No word on Kenshiro vs Jotaro?

Please give us Skorch's thoughts on it.

"I have no thoughts. I've never seen Jojo."

"*GASP*! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ANIME FAN?!"

"Look. I have the issue a lot of people who want to get into comic have. The fanbase appears so rabid that it feels like if you weren't there to begin with, it's too late to join. Regardless, I will watch some of the show before the battle. Finally, we have another review from 'Tristian Waltz', who wrote…

SkorchNTorch, well, for the Season 7 finale of Death Battle, we got Hulk VS Broly!

"…I've of two minds on this one."

"Oh boy, fanboys are about to get triggered! Run for cover!" Deadpool yelled before jumping through a nearby window into the cold vacuum of space.

"I can't believe that worked… No, no… see, I LOVE Broly! The Dragon Ball Super film is actually one of my favourite Anime films. It was finny, action-packed, and just a damn fun ride. Not world-changing, but I can throw it on anytime and enjoy it. I also really Hulk, but I feel like having yet another Marvel/superhero character, now making almost half of season seven Marvel characters, feels like… a mistake. Still, the battle should be entertaining nonetheless! Anyhow, go vote for the next Battle on my profile poll, and then check back soon for a poll based on Superman vs Goku! Thanks for reading! Now, shenanigans…"

"Aw, c'mon S! Don't be like that…" Deadpool groaned, re-appearing inexplicably.

"Like what?" Skorch blinked.

"Don't you know what time it is!?"

"Adventure Time? What are you… Wait, how… Yo! How did I forget it's almost Christmas?!"

"Because Christmas isn't really a thing in the Dragon Ball Universe with a few acceptations." The Merc with a Mouth nodded. "Also, you've been paying little attention to anything recently."

"Ooh, fair." Skorch bit his non-existent lip.

"Listen… I don't wanna tell you how to write your stories… but do ya think mmmmaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyybbbbbbeeeeeeeeee they've earned something… special? Y'know, cause it's Christmas and this year has been a relentless a*** fis**** of misery?"

"Hmmm…"

"C'mon dude! Don't be a Grinch! It's Christmas!"

"Like, earned what?"

"Oh, I don't know… some of those hot sex fics you've-"

"NO! We… those aren't real!"

"Fine, fine, fine." Wade grumbled. "OOH! How about… a preview? Of… y'know…"

"Oh, all right!" Skorch sighed in exaggerated dramatic fashion. "I figured, you'd all been so good this year… It was a bit upsetting to my buddy Krampus, he's gotta look for other people to punish for not having the Christmas spirit… but we both agreed that you all deserved something special. Something to make up for this miserable, horrible, nightmare of a year. Which hasn't been the worst for me, which just makes me feel bad for those it HAS affected. So… here's a taste of things to come!"

(Insert Wayne's World transition here. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're too young to get the joke.)

The rock music was invigorating, energizing, there was no denying it's awesomeness. It could only be cooler if played on a 9-string. Spiked chains and pendulums swung as the camera was quickly going backwards now, as if trying to escape the explosions. Fire appeared to consume the screen, leaving two words after the molten liquid melted away.

ScrewAttack Presents...

Afterwards, what appeared to be… renaissance-style paints were shown as the camera panned across. First showing two young men sitting at a table, with many papers on the wall behind them. The drawings appeared to be of a man in a cape of sorts. Then, a drawing of a man in an odd-looking gas mask working cross legged appeared, with what looked suspiciously like a Dragon Ball on a paper behind him.

"Both born to doomed worlds and sent to a planet that was not their own, these two alien saviors are LEGENDARY." Wiz suddenly spoke his tone one of absolute importance, as if this was something that had been building for a long time.

"And everyone wants to who could kick who's ass in a fight. And I mean EVERYONE." Boomstick spoke up, the disbelief clear in his voice.

In collaboration with:

Kanzenshuu

Superman homepage

The Dao of Dragon Ball

Team Fourstar

The Review Section

And More…

"Wait. The Dao of Dragon Ball... Holy crap. Are we finally doing it?!" Roshi's eyes widened in genuine hope.

"Dragon… Ball… Oh shi-" Piccolo muttered, realizing most likely what they were about to watch.

The paintings now showed what appeared to be everyday people locked in combat, followed by what seemed to be a guy on a computer yelling at said computer, while another man did the same action with a flipped pose. This was followed by a group of people in what appeared to be a coffee shop looking at comics, and then a painting of what looked like Skorch, Deadman and a few others playing poker.

There was an explosion of lava, and another column appeared, and everyone stared in absolute disbelief at who they saw standing on it.

"Goku, the tenacious Super Sayian of Dragon Ball."Wiz declared as Goku stood in his traditional orange outfit.

"Wow. They're finally gonna do it!" Bulma blinked, genuinely surprised at how much of a buildup this was getting. Goku looked to Skorch, who smirked.

"You knew?!"

"Yeah. And seein' the look on your face made it all worth it. As well as this alcohol. That helped." Skorch replied.

"I'm sorry, what's happening!?" King Piccolo blinked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I'd like an answer to that as well." Jeice nodded, confused as to what was happening.

There was another explosion and his challenger appeared on the second column. He was an incredibly strong-looking man in a blue suit with red cape and tights. On his chest was a yellow diamond shape with a red 'S' in the center.

"And Superman, the Man of Steel." Boomstick said with a very noticeable amount of respect in his voice.

Starring:

"MasakoX"

"It'sJustSomeRandomGuy"

Animation by Jordan Lange

"THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!" Goku shouted rather childishly, but no one could blame him this time, in fact, most of the others felt the same way.

Another painting appeared, this one of a young woman with a brown hair in a pony tail and glasses, and a teen wearing a jean jacket with dirty blonde hair. They seemed to be talking, or arguing, surrounded by dozens of boxes and stacks of what appeared to be comic books, magazines, movies, all sorts of miscellaneous material. Add to this the empty cans and pizza boxes, and it was clear they had been at this for a long time.

'Death Battle Research Closet…' Friza muttered, noticing a crude sign taped to the wall.

"To ensure no questions are left unanswered, we will be acknowledging every official resource for both combatants, though the original writings hold precedence. No mistranslations allowed. Also, as he was retconned and rebuilt in 1986, we will be examining the modern Superman. This includes (THIS IS STILL BEING DETERMINED)"

"Considering Supe's pre-86 self could make up new super powers on the fly and destroy entire solar systems by sneezing-"

"HOLD ON. WHAT!?" Was collectively shouted.

"Back then, comics weren't seen as something with a continuing story. Writers just made it up as they went."Skorch remarked off-handedly. "Look, there's gonna be a bunch of weird crap in this episode. For everyone's sake, shut up and watch."

"He can literally destroy entire solar systems by-" Yamcha began until Skorch appeared in front of him and his head changed to a demonic skull.

"For my sanity, your sanity, and the reader's sanity. JUST. WATCH." He ordered in a twisted voice.

"That level of power is unprecedented! How could he possibly have that much raw power!?" Cell demanded.

"That's probably a good idea... But now, you know the drill. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!"

"And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor, and skills to find out who would win…"

As the lava wall fell back to the ground, the logo for Death Battle appeared, this time it had a chrome and titanium build, with blood red outlining. It seemed to gleam and be dripping lava as the camera turned upwards to the stars, revealing the 'S' logo, but now with a Dragon Ball behind it.

The title was being written in what looked like two red lasers, only for a familiar blast to shoot over it, seemingly solidifying the lettering.

Goku VS Superman

"A DEATH BATTLE!"

Then the doors closed.

"Holy crap." Was finally muttered.

"Okay, so… HOW BIG is this argument?" Piccolo asked, looking to Skorch.

"Bigger than I can really put into words." Skorch answered. "If you ask anyone who would win this fight, you'd better bring gummy worms. No one can answer that question in no less than twenty minutes. And that's only if they die in a freak act of God or something..."

"Alright then."

"Of course, Kakarot's battle is the one they hype up beyond all belief…" Vegeta muttered, annoyed by something. "And they give him the most powerful opponent…"

"Let's F*****G go!" Krillin shouted, feeling unbelievably hyped to finally see this battle.

To Be Continued…

(As well as more previews to come ;) I promise)

"Merry Christmas, I'll see you losers next year!"

In two quick bursts, Skorch had returned, sipping on a drink which he inexplicably, had. Deadpool hadn't left and was currently just talking with some of the younger fighters, and Beerus was eating the chimichanga Deadpool had brought.

"Okay. Questions. Go."

"The Blackthorns said we were a 'Root Universe' what's up with that?"

"Long story short, becoming a 'Root Universe' means that while dimensional anomalies such as Kirby or Spawn showing up can happen, your world is more or less set in stone." Skorch explained. "I know that's confusing, so let me put it this way. There's your world, where Goku is married to Chi-Chi, Vegeta's married to Bulma and so on. There exist possibilities that other worlds are out there where that's not the case. But since you're the root universe, all of them would come back to you."

"…But…huh…" Bulma muttered, thinking that over. It was a weird idea, and she didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, she now wondered what kinds of weird worlds were out there! If they actually did exist… or was it a case of them coming into existence when someone thought about them?

"So, there could be worlds where we exist, but not like this?" Vegeta asked.

"Exactly. Like how in Universe Six, Frieza's counterpart was Frost. There could be a world where Goku and Frieza traded places, and he ends up becoming the hero while Goku tries to kill everyone."

"Please tell me your joking." Beerus said flatly.

"Or there could be a world where you guys all work at a news station." Skorch added. "I say that because I've seen it. I'll show you after this."

"Look, there's some questions I have about you." Vegeta said flatly. "But I get the feeling I have to best you, again. In order for you to be able to answer them. So how do we do that?"

"What do you want to know?"

"The future. What can you tell us about the next threat we'll inevitably face?" The Prince asked. Skorch seemed to go into thought, then nodded.

"Read up, Geets." Skorch remarked, throwing a book at Vegeta. "I've gotta piss, when I get back, we fight."

Vegeta blinked then saw the title of the book 'An Idiots Guide to Dragonball FighterZ'.

"Wait, what?!" He muttered, flipping through the book. "What… this… this is some sort of game?!"

"Hold on. What?" Goku asked, looking over Vegeta's shoulder. A few minutes later, Skorch returned, summoning a couch and another tv. He passed Vegeta some sort of controller and sat down with a rectangular box with a stick and eight buttons on it.

"Th…there's… there's games made about us!?" Goku asked in disbelief as the characters select screen appeared.

"Quite a few actually." Skorch nodded. "But this is one of my favourites. So, to explain, that book has all the attacks, you need to perform them in order to fight."

"Hang on… so, if I win this fight, you answer the questions, but if you win…" Vegeta muttered, beginning to think this might not go the way he expected.

"I dunno, right about now, I'd most likely say something offensive concerning your wife, but those jokes are getting old. Like your wife." Skorch shrugged, and Vegeta snapped to look at him in anger. He knew Skorch was joking… possibly, but either way, he was pissed off at the remark. Bulma hit Skorch in the back of the skull, and he just flipped her off. "Look, just don't lose." He held his skeletal hand out, green fire burning on it. "Take my hand."

"No."

"Dude. Take it so the bet is legitimate. If you don't, I won't be able to answer questions." Skorch said flatly. Vegeta grumbled but begrudgingly took it. Both their eyes flashed green for a second, but no one knew what that meant.

Vegeta muttered something inaudible and selected… himself. Super Sayian Vegeta, Super Sayian God Super Sayian Vegeta, and… Vegeta. (No, he's not egotistical, shut up). While Skorch chose Beerus, SSGSS Goku, and… Frieza. After that, they were told to choose some sort of attack, and despite trying to read the book Skorch gave him, Vegeta really didn't know what was happening. Most of the others gathered around, amazed to see themselves in a game, except for some characters who seemed to be grayed out, but no one knew who they were. There was practically everyone! Still, Vegeta thought, this was him! How hard could this-

"WHAT ARE THESE COMBONATIONS!?" Vegeta demanded when Skorch had allowed a brief break before the fight so he could look at his controls. "And how am I supposed to do them!?"

"Lol. Get good." Skorch laughed as the fight began. Vegeta groaned, figuring he would just mash buttons and hope for the best.

Two Minutes Later…

"You threw the fight."

"No, I didn't."

"You stood there and did nothing until the timer ran out."

"So, what if I did?"

"That's throwing the match." Bulma commented.

"What's the problem here? Do you not want me to answer your questions?"

"…never mind, actually. I won." Vegeta muttered, deciding to take the 'victory' and just walk away while he still could. Somehow, he had found a way to use his gallic gun, final flash and big bang attack… but he didn't know HOW. Skorch had done nothing to begin with, aside from make Goku crouch repetitively… and then knocked out one of his characters with Frieza (clearly just to piss him off). But the truth was, he was kind of annoyed. Presently, he was the only one who had ever fought Skorch in actual combat, and was the only one to beat him. But not because of his strength or skill, but because of an accidental allergic reaction. He wanted to defeat the Entity in true combat! And it was clear even now, Skorch was doing what he could to give Vegeta the best chance he had.

"So, what do you wanna know?" Skorch asked, setting the controller he was using to the side.

"Can a Watcher die?!" Goku suddenly exclaimed, the question coming out of nowhere.

"DAMN IT KAKAROT! THAT WASN'T WHAT WE AGREED TO A-"

"Yes." Skorch nodded, and the whole ship went silent. "Watchers can die, many of them seek death if the stories are to be believed."

"Wait… what?" Goku blinked, taking in what had just been said. "Skorch… are you… are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"I'm sorry, what?" No. 18 asked, snapping to attention at Goku's question.

"No! No!" Skorch said, raising his hands and shaking his head. "According to the stories I've read, some Watchers grew tired of being a Watcher, and they wanted a way out… except technically speaking we're eternal entities who can't die in the traditional sense."

"But if you're ageless and immortal, why would you want that to end?" Goku asked.

"Think about it from my perspective. You live forever, and your job is to watch worlds from their conception to extinction. You spend millennia seeing world after world after world, some of them prosper and have fantastic lives, and others burn into oblivion. Or maybe you'll see a world where heroes rise, then they much asinine choices and end up getting everyone they care for killed, shattering the image of them being a 'hero'. Sometimes, you'll see world after world after world that's nothing but death and slaughter. After a while, wouldn't you want to finally move on with your life?" Skorch asked. "See, when the time comes, a Watcher can surrender their power, their Ki, and effectively their immortality, to become a human. They'll live, age, and eventually die as a human. Often, they do so because they're in love, and while Human-Watcher hook-ups can supposedly work -don't ask how I know that- the human of the pair still dies, and in the past, some Watchers apparently were driven to insanity after losing so many people…"

"But… you're also meeting new people all the time!" Trunks added. "Isn't that a huge part of being a Watcher?"

"It may be, Trunks. But after a while, someone will inevitable want to stay in one-" Bulma began.

"Nah, I'm with Trunks on this one." Skorch shook his head. "I've spent more time than I can physically count traveling worlds, seeing warriors, I love it! Sure, it can get kinda weird at times, and living isolated and invisible for thousands of years isn't exactly fun… but then the tradeoff is I end up in a world like this one!"

Skorch downed a drink, steam wafting out from his mouth and eye holes.

"That was a depressing-ass question. What was it you wanted to ask?" He remarked, looking to Vegeta.

"You claim to know the future, and we haven't been using that to help us prepare. What can you tell us about what's to come next?" Vegeta asked matter-of-factly. "Because no matter how long the peace lasts, something always comes up eventually."

"…I can't say when, but an old ally is going to return soon." Skorch spoke, seeming rather serious. "One you haven't seen in thirteen years. Part of why I need to go to the Library is to figure out exactly what's going to happen, and to drop off what I've written thus far. Still, I can say there will be two soon who will challenge you all. Apparently even on a level beyond what Beerus can face."

"I'm sorry. What." The God of Destruction asked with narrowed eyes.

"Look, once I know more, I'll tell you guys." Skorch promised. "But things may be calm for a time, and do take time to relax, but things will pick up again…"

"Thirteen years…" Vegeta muttered, deep in thought. "What happened thirteen years ago?"

"Cell." Krillin said, and there was a brief flash of fear. Was Cell returning?! If he was, would they be able to stop him!? Wait. Skorch had said 'Ally'. Not 'Enemy'. "…are you trying to tell us that CELL is gonna join us!?"

"What? No!" Skorch shook his head, then muttered: "Although, that would be pretty cool."

"…Cell, had his tournament, thirteen years ago. It was also the last time we saw…" Piccolo began but trailed off. "Future Trunks."

"Future… oh, right! Who am I fighting?!" Goku asked, excitedly. Skorch thought it over, as if trying to figure out the best way to word it without altering the future. Wait. How would he change the future if the Death Battle was a Death Battle?

"His name is Superman." Skorch began. "In D-Zero, he's one of the most recognizable heroes in all of fiction. He's been a character many people see as one of the strongest heroes out there… and there's a lot of people who ask which of you two would win in a fight. When we get back, I'll go to the Library and grab some stuff."

"What's this Library of Time you keep mentioning?" Bulma asked.

"It's what it sounds like." Skorch shrugged, now floating on his back. "The Library of Eternity is a library that – quite literally – goes on for beyond eternity. Everything that has ever happened, ever will happen, any question you could possibly have… all the answers, all the memories, all the past experiences, all the past stories, the history any battle, any person who has ever existed, the history of any world … it's all there. Actually, it's part of the whole 'Watcher' gig. We fill in some of the blanks with what we've seen."

"You need to take me there. NOW." Bulma said, her eyes wider than anyone had seen in quite a while. There was an excited energy about her as well.

"Well… here's the problem." Skorch frowned. "I knew you'd wanna go, so I asked Kassir, the guy who's in charge, if I could bring you. He said yes… But the problem is that to enter, you have to give up your soul. Entering the library of eternity will literally erase you form existence, permanently. That's the trade-off. Infinite, endless knowledge, but you never see the world again."

"But… how do you…?" Bulma asked, confused.

"I don't have a body." Skorch shrugged, his body disappearing, then re-forming.

"Okay, so we grab the Dragon Balls and-"

"Doesn't work like that." Skorch cut in again. He pointed to Bulma, then flicked his finger and a golden sphere appeared in front of the Scientist, making her feel woozy for a second. "Once you give up your soul to me or anyone outside of your realm, say, the library. You NO LONGER EXIST HERE. As in, nothing can ever bring you back. There's a reason why I haven't mentioned this before... There's only one way to take a soul out of the Library, and even I don't know what it is!"

"Okay, so someone enters and is erased from existence. What's to keep someone from leaving?" Piccolo asked skeptically.

"Nothing. But if they leave, they'll be subjected to nothing but an eternal white void. You have no soul, no existence, no reality, no home. And I won't be able to bring you back, either."

"So, what's to stop someone from taking pictures of the books?" The Namekian asked, trying to find a way around that issue.

"Kassir HATES cameras, they really piss him off for some reason. Same with tablets…"

"Huh… so what's to stop someone from writing everything down in a notebook?"

"I have dysgraphia." Skorch flatly answered. "It's not… terrible. Typically, I've had Kassir write what I dictate. There are no rules against taking things form the library, but the rules still apply. But the thing is… what if one of those books ends up in the wrong hands? Heck, what if it ends up in a hero's hands but they don't like what they see?"

Vegeta frowned, his eyes narrowing somewhat. However much he didn't want to admit it, the Entity had a point. What would someone do if they saw their future, knew everything was going to happen, and realized how they would die? Or ruin everything for everyone? Would trying to alter that cement it as fate?

"Okay…. Look, weird question, all these Death Battles have got me thinking, and then after you and Vegeta fought, I wanna know… do you think you could beat Beerus in a fight?" Goku asked.

"Uh… Technically speaking, I think I could beat Beerus and Whis in a fight." Skorch shrugged, then added: "Buuutt… with the former, that'd probably kill all of you as a by-product of your powerful badassery, and for the latter... why would I want to? I don't think we've disagreed on… anything. Ever."

"Surprisingly, that's quite true." Whis nodded, not seeming to care in the slightest that both Skorch just made a claim he could beat him, and had most likely made a threat to kill him. But like he said, Whis and Skorch hadn't fought, or disagreed on… anything. "While I can't confirm or deny Skorch's claim about being stronger than I am, we haven't disagreed on anything as of yet."

"Aside from is lemon meringue goes well with strawberry ice cream... And I'm telling you, it doesn't!" Skorch remarked under his breath.

"And I'm sorry, but you're just wrong in that regard."

"I will fight you over this."

"Angels must remain neutral, no matter what happens."

"I will fight Beerus over this!"

"What." The God of Destruction said flatly, glaring at Skorch. "First of all, I'd prefer not to destroy this earth, as there's many things I haven't tried yet. But secondly, I agree with you in this topic."

"…I will fight whoever I'm pointing at over this." Skorch growled, randomly pointing off at someone. Everyone looked to where he was pointing, and Chi-Chi looked back at Skorch in confusion. "Shit."

"For someone who knows the future, you have to know any of those three fights isn't going to end well for you." Beerus commented with a veiled threat.

"So… now what?" Goku asked, and Skorch shrugged.

"Really, take some time and chill. We can party when we get back. If anyone wants to play some FighterZ, go right ahead. Oh, right! Hang on." Skorch remarked, pulling a video tape out from… somewhere and looking to Whis and Beerus. "This is a show from D-Zero, called Epic Meal Time. Trust me, you're gonna love this!"

---

Hey, to the guest who wrote: "Focus only on your Death Batlle story, please. Nobody cares about these stories. It's only ten reviews across three different works." On one of my other stories…

Few things:

1. No.

2. You misspelled 'Battle' so already that costs you credibility.

3. It's actually 72 reviews across three stories, so you were off by 62.

4. I'm not gonna hold any stories hostage by demanding a certain follow/fave amount be hit, but Dawg ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon, so… feel free to actually be intelligent in your insults or constructive in your criticism.

5. Thanks for the mean review, they make me happy knowing someone got pissy over a stupid story I write for fun.

Also, don't leave 'Oh I'm sorry you go through that' reviews or stuff, it's meaningless. The guest didn't even have the spine to let me reply to them, so… eh. Who cares. Normally I wouldn't give a crap about someone saying they don't like my stories, but… yeah, no. Those 'stories no one cares about' are what got me started on this site, and they're what keep me going on this site.

If you meant it to be sarcastic or as a genuine suggestion: it failed on both regards. But let's just put it behind us and move on.