Warning: This chapter contains a LOT of bad words at one point. You have been warned… ;)
There was an awkward feeling right now in the air… a feeling of relief, but exhaustion. A feeling like a mountain had been overcome, but there was another, bigger mountain to complete. The Z-Fighters and Kais felt relief that Black was gone, but that still left the question of where they went from here. Not just as far as Chi-Chi was concerned, but because of Future Trunks and Mai. But, things got WEIRDER when Skorch re-appeared, and proposed an idea to get Chi-Chi back… so now, Goku, Yamcha and Skorch headed off to try and save Chi-Chi before it was too late, and she was lost forever…
A few decided to head up to the Lookout, both to check on the kids, and to tell the others that Black was no more. When they got up there, Goten, Trunks and Marron were still playing whatever the Battle Box had brought them, and a few fighters recognized Sonic. While Vegeta went off to talk to Dende, and then try and find some Senzu Beans for himself, and his son, the kids decided to jump back into another episode of Death Battle, and hit play.
(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)
"Previously, on DEATH BATTLE!, the bodacious bros of the Sewer Clan known as the Ninja Turtles battled to find the deadliest of the team, and good old Leader Leo used cunning strategy and swordplay to come out on top!" Boomstick declared, showing the brutal end to Raphael.
"Oh yeah, that fight was awesome!"
"Huh, kinda thought they would've followed up on this one sooner…"
"Hey, no time like the present." Master Roshi shrugged.
"But the fight isn't over yet. Leonardo must now face his most powerful imitator: Zitz, the leader of the mighty Battletoads."
"What kinda name is Zitz? That sounds disgusting…"
"I have a feeling this is gonna be a Deadpool vs Deathstroke thing, where one of them is a rip-off of the other."
"Too right!" Deadpool declared, appearing from… literally nowhere, now in a distinguished housecoat, with a monocle, mustache and pipe, while reading a book. All of this happened while he was seated in a chair in front of a suddenly appearing fireplace. "You see my Namekian chum, while the turtles originated in a small, black-and-white, self-published book in 1984, they exploded in popularity in the following years, resulting in what may will claim to be one of the most well-known cartoons of all time in 1987. Many companies saw the success of this, and attempted their own takes, such as Street Sharks and Biker Mice from Mars." Deadpool explained as images appeared, before he suddenly dropped the phony 'sophisticated' accent and said bluntly; "I'm not joking, both of those were real. And awesome."
"So, I take it Battletoads had some degree of success?" Piccolo asked.
"Eh, it had a comic in a magazine, and a one-shot attempt at a cartoon, which is considered by many to be one of the worst adaptations ever made." Deadpool shrugged. "The games were well received, but were harder than eatin' a bowl of Gambit's Chili without raising the carbon emissions of the world by ten percent… they're considered cult classics, and got another one recently, but they're nowhere near as big as the Turtles." He tore off the housecoat and cracked his neck. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to A03 to watch Death Battle with the Skullgirls! See you later!"
And like that, Deadpool was gone.
"I don't know if I like that guy, or if he terrifies me." Gohan admitted after a few moments of silence.
"He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!"
"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!"
"Is it just me, or do their voices sound a little… off?" Bulma asked. "I mean, some of the more recent battles their voices sound almost deeper, especially compared to the first few we've seen."
"Eh, maybe this is an older episode." Roshi shrugged, hitting the nail on the head.
ZITZ
(*Cues: Battletoads & Double Dragon - Main Title*)
The doors opened revealing the tubular trio of the Battletoad bros. (technically they aren't brothers, but 90's slang and abbreviations is keeewwwllll...) they looked… weird. Really, there was no other word for it. They kinda looked like frogs, but frogs that were given steroids. One of them was wearing shades, but they kinda looked like the kinda doodles Lil' Trunks would make on his note paper during classes. Still, they didn't wanna judge them just yet. After all, the Ninja Turtles were odd, but they were awesome in the end!
"Zitz was computer engineered as one of three ultimate amphibian warriors in what would be revealed to be a gladiatorial video game reality show called Battletoads." Wiz began, before essentially going off on a long, confusing tirade while different scenes were shown, which only further confused those watching. "The creation and nature of this show resulted in an accidental dimensional gateway being opened into another galaxy. Every time the game began, the galaxy the gateway was opened to would became the Battletoad arena for their superhero war against the Dark Queen and they-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?" Boomstick (and many watching) said aloud, beyond lost.
"They're saying a video game opens a portal to another dimension?!"
"Rgh, I certainly hope not." Beerus muttered, not wanting to deal with ANOTHER realm-jumper. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do about Future Trunks and the other girl…
"Three nerds made a video game, got sucked through it into another galaxy, and became toad superheroes." Wiz simplified everything down to a point where even an idiot could understand.
"K, got it!" Boomstick nodded, seemingly understanding this all too well.
"I don't!"
"I have so many questions, but the leader's name is 'Zitz', I don't feel like we should bother asking them."
"That does seem like the most straightforward approach, although I can't begin to imagine how three mere children created such a device." Whis admitted with a slight shrug. The absurdity of this seemed even beyond him… or, he simply decided not to think too deeply about such a silly concept.
"Zitz was originally colored yellow, to differentiate him from Rash and Pimple-" Wiz continued.
"EW!"
"-but he is now officially a blue-green hue. He leads the Battletoad team with a laid back yet strategic attitude."
BACKGROUND
- Real Name: Morgan Ziegler
- Height: 6'8"
- Weight: 196 lbs.
- Leader and Strategist, Next To Rash And Pimple (Bulma felt sick looking at those names)
- Superhuman Strength and Reflexes
- Was Originally Yellow, But Is Now Blue-Green
(*Cues: Battletoads in Battlemaniacs - Ragnarok Canyon*)
"He chooses to go with my personal favourite battle strategy: beat the ever-loving shit out of everything that moves, regardless of who or what it is!"
"Of course, Boomstick would say that."
"Well, there is something to be said about brute force as a battle plan. It can certainly help with intimidation."
"And as a Battletoad, Zitz can shape shift his body into various weaponry: Giant fists, heavy weights, ram horns, you name it!" Boomstick continued as Zitz suddenly did just that, morphing his hand into a hammer and smacking a hapless goon away.
"Now that seems like a helpful ability!"
"Yeah, regenerating a limb is one thing, but being able to transform it at will? Fascinating." Piccolo commented, thinking it over.
SHAPE-SHIFTING
- Can Transform Body Into Weaponry
- Giant Fists, Boots, Horns, Hammers, Weights, Blades, etc.
- Technologically Advanced, Adding Drills, Blades, Saws, Spikes, And Dozers
- No Known Limitation, But Doesn't Appear To Be Able To Create Vehicles/Certain Weapons
"Unlike his teammates, Zitz has used his inventive genius to mechanically advance his weaponry far beyond those of his fellow toads. By combining technology and brawn, Zitz has added blades, saws and drills to his arsenal. He may not be a trained ninja, but not only does he always have a weapon on-hand-"
A few groaned at the pun.
"-but he's certainly got the element of unpredictability on his side!"
"Geez! Give him a few rolls of duct tape, and this guy could be the world's best handyman! …if he always wasn't getting sucked into an alternate dimension every time someone turned on a video game. Man, that's gotta be annoying!"
"That'd be like… waking up in a new dimension every few months, with no idea how you got there or how to go home." Krillin commented. "I can't imagine what that would be like."
Somewhere across the Realms, Mad Dawg sneezed.
"Despite almost having no actual combat training, Zitz has proved strong enough to power through some of the harshest environments. He's taken on the Dark Queen, hordes of enemies, dragons, ninja, and even the toughest games ever made-" Wiz continued. The lack of experience surprising those watching.
"Screw you, bike level!" Boomstick shouted in irritation. Clearly, there were bad memories there… the scene cut to an old video game with two Battletoads on bikes trying (and failing) to get past a series of rapidly-passing platforms.
"Don't hit any walls, but hit the ramp! Hit the ramp!" A new voice spoke up as the two Toads were shown racing along on bikes. They hit the ramp, and only one of them landed, the other exploding. "AW, FUCK! HOW'D YOU MISS THAT?!"
"I dunno!" Another voice protested, clearly bewildered by this. Bulma was a bit taken aback by the vulgarity, but had no idea what was coming…
The pair continued trying (and failing, over, and over and over) to succeed in the infamous 'bike level', and Bulma was a bit disgusted by how profane one of the two were. They weren't Wiz and Boomstick, in fact, they made Boomstick sound classy. Almost.
However, everyone else felt a mixture of irritation, frustration and anger at the gameplay before them. It looked so easy! Jump, move, jump, don't hit the small walls… but nope! Somehow, they kept missing, and the lives system seemed so incredibly unfair, punishing both players for one's mistake. Finally, it revealed a stereotypical nerd, and a dude with a guitar sitting on a couch, playing the game.
"To hell with this shit!" The Guitar Guy shouted.
"To hell with this fuckin' shit!" The Nerd retorted, angry.
"To hell with this banana-buffalo-wearin'-bastard-bullshit!"
"Yeeeah! Now yer' talkin'!" The Nerd exclaimed. "So, anyhow, Battletoads-"
"I'm going behind the couch!"
"Yeah! You do that! You go bunker yourself from all these like, shitty games!" The Nerd shouted as the man disappeared behind the couch. Goten and Trunks (as well as Gohan, Roshi, Piccolo and even Whis, the latter of whom was trying to hide it) were laughing at the comical anger coming from the characters. Bulma was disgusted (although she did admittedly find it kinda funny), but thankfully, Goten and Lil' Trunks didn't seem to understand what the words meant, and were more laughing at the anger, the failure, and the shocked reactions of everyone else. They also knew to fear their Mothers' wrath should they repeat ANY of that.
"Who the heck is that? Some sorta Angry Nostalgia Nerd?" Lil' Trunks asked.
"We gotta try this game." Krillin said after a few more moments of silence passed.
"Yes."
"I feel like this will end with you throwing a controller though the television." Whis mused.
"What, you're saying you wouldn't get annoyed by that, too?" Goten asked, curious. Whis just laughed gently.
"Child, part of being an angel is having an unyielding sense of self-control. We cannot allow simple issues such as a frustrating game get the better of us."
"You talk a big game, but I'd like to see you try." Beerus spoke up, and it was clear Whis hadn't expected that reaction, especially from Beerus of all present. Even worse, he knew his bluff had been called. Well, time to go all-in.
"Very well, if we can get a copy of this game, I'll try it and show you how even a frustratingly broken system cannot irritate an angel." Whis nodded. Beerus smirked. "So long as you are the second player, my Lord." Beerus' smirk disappeared, but he knew he also had to go in.
"Pfft, fine. I'll try this stupid earthling game." He muttered, rolling his eyes. Everyone else felt an overwhelming sense of dread.
"And yes, the game's excruciating difficulty is canon, as it was specifically programmed by the Battletoads themselves." Wiz remarked, sounding somewhat dead inside. As if he didn't know what to say to that.
"Yeah, try and wrap your brain around that one…" Boomstick muttered.
"I'm a big bad mother of all toads!" Zitz exclaimed as the doors closed. It… did not sound like what they expected his voice to sound like. Then again, they weren't sure what his voice was supposed to sound like.
"Well, that was… weird." Gohan finally said.
Goku, Skorch and Yamcha had all split up to search for something. While the latter two knew splitting up was always a bad idea, this thankfully wasn't a Slasher film, but they knew this was a risky plan from the start. So, that left Yamcha to silently walk up and down (and sometimes literally up and down, as gravity seemed to shift in certain spots, allowing him to literally walk along the bookshelves towards what had at one point been the ceiling. It was so weird to him, he felt such a calming sense of serenity, and it was weird because he wasn't an avid reader. But it felt like he could get lost in here… for eternity…
"Gah! No, focus! FOCUS!" He ordered himself, shaking his head to clear it. "You gotta be ready for when Goku gives you the signal!" He looked around, and then nodded, seeing the door, and seeing no one else was around. He sighed, sitting down on a bookshelf, and realized the shelves were moving on their own, almost like a conveyer belt. He blinked, thinking things over, then said: "Dragon Ball."
A few moments later, the shelves stopped moving, and he looked down at the tomes, seeing a large selection of books with 'Dragon Ball' written on the side. His eyes widened as he looked them over, seeing close to seventy tomes, as well as many others with the words 'Dragon Ball' shining on the side, as if the letters lit up. One in particular seemed to float up to him. It was titled Dragon Ball Z Vol. 2. When he took it, the pages flipped on their own. He was taken aback by what he saw, but then smirked slightly.
"Yup… that's me…" Yamcha blinked, looking at the book. "Man, I should really change my look up a bit, I feel like I've been wearing the same thing for thirty years." He toom a moment and looked around at the other Dragon Ball tomes. There were many, and many different titles, each (he assumed) containing its own universe. Titles like The Fall of Lord Frieza, President For A Day, Long Live The King, Black Coffee, Cold World and The Long Road. Part of him wanted to take them down and read them, but he also felt like he shouldn't. Not just because he was supposed to be keeping watch on the door, but because… he didn't know why, actually. Was he scared of seeing a better him? Why should he be? Wouldn't seeing a better him tell him how to be better? But, as he turned to leave, one more tome caught his eye.
"Hang on… Dragon Ball: That Time I Got Reincarnated As Yamcha!?"
Before Yamcha could open the tome, he noticed another, and for some reason, it really jumped out to him. He knew just from the title that somehow, it affected him, and it seemed far more interesting.
"Trials of a Wolf…" He read aloud, before the book pulled itself off the shelf and flew down to him, opening in front of him… only for the sounds of something moving to catch his attention, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the door beginning to close. Then, a voice screamed out:
"YAMCHA! WE GOTTA GO!"
LEONARDO
(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Main Theme (Rock/Metal Cover)*)
"We briefly covered his abilities and past in a previous episode, but here's the rundown, once more." Wiz began as Leo was shown fighting against members of the Foot Clan, taking on several of them at once, and seemingly having no issue with it. "Originally an average turtle, Leo and his brothers were exposed to a radioactive byproduct which mutated them and their adoptive Father, Splinter the rat. Who… also may have been a person at one point, it's a long story. After that, they Turtles spent years training in the art of Ninjutsu, and Leo is no acceptation. He's trained in Ninjitsu and Bushido all his life, shaping his body and mind to master close combat, swordsmanship, honor, and the art of invisibility." Wiz talked as different panels of old comics and clips from tv shows were shown. It was pretty much already known, but it was a good recap.
"He's also the strategist of the turtle team, who are now all dead. Sooo... yeah. Good strategy, Leo!" Boomstick added, a bit awkwardly. There were a few awkward coughs at Boomstick's… joke?
BACKGROUND
- Age: 17
- Height: 5'2" ("Geez! Zitz is almost two feet taller than him!" Goten exclaimed.)
- Weight: 155 lbs.
- Aliases: D'Artagnan, The Leo-meister, Fearless Leader, Leo
- Weapon(s) Of Choice: Ninjato Blades, Ninja Stars, Sword, Twin Katanas
- Leader of the Team
- Extremely Focused on the Task at Hand, Little to No Sense of Humor
- High Sense of Honor ("It didn't stop him from killing his own brothers…" Bulma muttered. "If I recall, one of the rules of Death Battle is any restraints a character has on killing is removed, in order to see them at their maximum potential." Roshi commented.)
"Leonardo is especially skilled in use of environment to outsmart and outmaneuver an opponent. He is also the only Ninja Turtle in any timeline who has studied under two masters, Splinter the rat, and the Ancient one." Wiz continued as Leo was shown training against the one known as Splinter, and then the one who they assumed to be the 'Ancient One'. From the name alone, it was pretty clear that he was some sort of spiritual mentor… maybe he'd be explained in a later episode.
"Hey Wiz, look! It's an Asian Yoda!" Boomstick remarked, and was met with silence. Both because no one knew who Yoda was, and also because Wiz didn't want to comment on it. "...What?"
"I feel like that was a bat attempt at a race joke."
"Eh, could just be a bad reference."
"True."
"Leo wields two Ninjaken swords, which are best for swift deadly strikes and are designed with the idea that a good offense, is the best defense! They're usually mistaken as katana in the shows and comics, even though they are obviously straight, rather than curved."
"The Ninjaken is, in fact, an invention of Hollywood, as there is no historical evidence of the weapon's existence."
NINJAKEN SWORDS
- 2 ft. Long Blade
- Designed for Swift, Deadly, Offensive Strikes
- Can Slice Through a Man's Arm in a Single Blow (Or Leg, Or Neck)
- Also Called Ninjato
- Commonly Referred to Incorrectly as Katana
- Invented by Hollywood
"Which is weird, you'd think that dual straight swords would be a thing, but I guess in their world it isn't." Goten frowned. He didn't know a lot about swords (other than the fact that they were cool) but it almost seemed illogical to not have these kinds of blades in real life.
"Yeah, why are they curved?" Lil' Trunks asked.
"If I remember correctly, the curve gives them more of what's known as a 'critical area' to strike the target, doing more damage and potentially killing them in one shot." Gohan answered, thinking back to his history studies. "I could be wrong, but it was something along those lines."
"Like the moon landing!" Boomstick added.
"Shut up!" Wiz hissed, clearly irritated over that comment. "While he usually relies on his brothers' solid teamwork, he has proven to be a very effective warrior on his own, too, defeating all sorts of enemies like ninja robots, giant monsters, other mutants, the Power Rangers – but we don't really talk about that – vampires – but we also don't really talk about that – war-torn aliens and even The Shredder."
"It's my call, I decide who gets a beat down." Leonardo commented, then turned and saw a figure breaking into a building. "That guy needs a beat down." And Leo leapt towards the fight without a second thought as the doors closed.
In the end, there were only two who ended up voting for Zitz. Not because they doubted he could win, but because Leonardo simply seemed… better. While sure, Zitz could be unpredictable with his changing hand, Leo simply seemed faster, and smarter, even if he wasn't tougher.
Roshi – Leonardo (Turtle bros for life)
Gohan – Leonardo (Leo clearly knew what he was doing if the TMNT Battle was anything to go by.)
Bulma – Leonardo (She couldn't vote for someone named after acne)
Piccolo – Leonardo
Goten – Leonardo
Trunks – Zitz
Whis – Zitz (Although he did hate the name)
Beerus – Leonardo
Krillin – Leonardo (He felt that Leo clearly had more experience over Zitz.)
DEATH BATTLE
The scene opened outside what looked like an abandoned warehouse. A tall fence stood as a pitiful attempt to keep trespassers out, and it wasn't doing a very good job, as Zitz appeared from off-screen, and flawlessly jumped over a wire fence in one leap. He landed on the ground and began to walk forward, to whatever his destination may be. as Leonardo jumps out of the sewer next to the fence, flying over it and also landing over the fence. Zitz turns to face his opponent.
"Radical!" Zitz exclaimed. "Bring it on, dude!"
"You sound like my brother…" Leo muttered, drawing his swords.
"The brother you killed." Gohan dead-panned.
"Actually, I think Raphael killed Michelangelo." Whis corrected.
FIGHT!
Zitz rushed forward and used his ram horns to strike Leonardo in the chest. The speed and sudden horns caught the turtle off-guard, and sent him back into the fence. The fence bowed and launched Leonardo off of it, back towards the Battletoad in surprisingly quick succession.
"Can't say I expected Zitz to get the first hit. Good on him." Master Roshi mused.
Zitz kicks him with an iron boot and then punches him away with a giant fist. Leo recovers just in time to avoid Zitz' drill attack and kicks him twice, only to get countered by a giant fist and a spiked wall.
"How-" It's clear despite his training and experience, Leonardo wasn't expecting Zitz to have such an arsenal, which admittedly, is fair. However, Leo takes a deep breath and as Zitz attacks him, Leo oddly seems to let it happen.
"The heck is he doing?!"
"He's just letting himself get hit?"
"If he's trying to restore his honor for killin' his brothers, that's not how that code is carried out…"
"If I had to guess, he's using some sort of meditation to absorb the blows, then hit Zitz when he stops." Piccolo commented. "It's risky, and if Zitz realizes this, then he could kill him in an instant."
After pummeling Leo some more, Zitz throws him towards the wire fence...
(*Cues: I Beam Fight - TMNT*)
...only for Leo to flip onto his feet and defend himself from Zitz' giant fist.
"But I guess he didn't." The Namekian shrugged.
Leo hits Zitz twice and dorve his blade into the Toad's side, Zitz countered further harm by turning himslef into a weight to defend himself from Leo's swords.
"Okay!?" Bulma sighed, a bit exasperated.
Eventually, Leo seemed to realize the battle wasn't going anywhere and jumped over the fence and back into the sewer as Zitz returns to his normal form and jumps into the sewer.
"If you're really so tough, try and catch me, wart-face!" Leo called as he disappeared.
(*Cues: Battletoads & Double Dragon - Next Level (Remix)*)
As Zitz scouts around for Leo, the turtle jumps out of a hole in the wall, stabs Zitz with his sword and jumps away. Leo tries this again, but Zitz grows a chainsaw tail, which Leo dodges.
"That is so cool!" Goten exclaimed.
"Woof." Ember seemed to agree.
Zitz gives chase and finds that Leo has disappeared. Leo jumps out of the wall and hurts Zitz. Enraged, Zitz attacks the wall that Leo jumps back into through the hole. This distraction allows Leo to swim through the water and then slice Zitz in half.
"That… didn't last long."
"Pretty vicious ending…"
"At least he died quickly."
KO!
RESULTS
(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Season 8-10 Closing Credits Theme*)
"Damn…" Boomstick muttered.
"Zitz was more than a match for Leonardo in a simple brawl, using his brutal arsenal to overpower him. But when it came to using the environment, Zitz couldn't handle Leonardo's ninja skills and his lack of training left him frustrated and unsure of what to do."
"Makes sense. It seems like the Battletoads were in gladiatorial battles where strength was key, compared to strategy or cunning." Beerus shrugged, not really 'feeling' this episode. But whatever, was a distraction from the mess happening around them. (Seriously, he still couldn't believe he let Goku and the other one go to future and then the Library and potentially re-write the timeline! Even if it was un-doing whatever Black had done…)
"While Zitz is a strategist, he always relies on his brute force and once Leo went in stealth mode and turned the tides, Zitz decided to just bring the whole sewer down. And c'mon, Leo fights all kinds of mutants and monsters at least once a week."
"Of all the toads, Zitz certainly stood the best chance with his technologically advanced weaponry, but while the Battletoads are known for accomplishing impossible odds, so are the Ninja Turtles. Leonardo made quick work of Zitz as soon as he had the chance."
"In the end, Zitz just needed to pull himself together." Boomstick joked.
"The winner is Leonardo." Wiz stated.
"Again." Boomstick concluded as the doors closed.
"Hey, so… where's Goku?" Lil' Trunks asked. "And big me? And the older Mai?"
So... Skorch was kinda dead. Sorta. Somehow, Chi-Chi had broken through his ribs, and RIPPED HER SOUL OUT OF HIM LIKE A BOSS. Causing Skorch to fall back and disappear to dust... that was concerning. But, what was more concerning was that they were running out of time to get out of the Library before it was too late.
"We'll figure it out later!" Goku shouted before running as fast as he could along the path he had made. He felt his powers returning (obnoxiously, NOW) so he grabbed his wife and began flying, as he wasn't able to sense a Ki signature to teleport to. As they flew, Goku realized something, the lights in the library seemed to be growing dim, and then the beeping on his wrist signaled what was wrong… they were out of time. He summoned everything he had and shot forward, Chi-Chi holding on in shock as they roared past shelves, which had their tomes and books ripped from their places by the resulting shockwave.
"What's happening?!"
"We have like, a minute or two left!" Goku replied, moving faster now as more and more of his power seemed to adapt to the new world. "I don't know how long that is, but it's not long! And if we're not outta here by then, then we're suck here forever!" Rounding a corner, the pair saw Yamcha holding the door open, with a clear almost liquid-fog closing in on him.
"C'MON, MAN! I CAN'T HOLD THIS OPEN MUCH LONGER!" Yamcha screamed, the invisible, colorful wall of reality seemed to be winning the struggle. At the end of the Iridescence hall, the swirling, shimmering portal remained, beckoning to those to escape. Goku didn't need to be told twice, he shot out of the library and to the portal, only to realize he was only with his wife. If he left, Yamcha would be left here. Forever. If he went back, they might both be left here.
"Thanks for everything, Goku."Yamcha called, falling to one knee. No matter what seemed to be happening, he refused to let go. Not until they were through. "This is where we go our separate ways."
"No! Are you insane!?" Goku shouted. "You'll be erased! You'll be stuck here forever!"
"You and-AGH!" Yamcha began, but yelled in pain when the shimmering light seemed to envelop his hand. "GO!"
"Chi-Chi-" Goku began, looking from his wife, back down to an old enemy, and then back to his wife again. His face was conflicted and his heart was torn in two.
"I know." She said with a smile. "We'll be fine."
"Heh… well, I'd say this was worth it." Yamcha thought as he kept fighting to hold up the force field. "I should check out the Library once they're safe… Maybe see the history of our world, heck. Maybe read that Trials Of A Wolf-"
Yamcha was ripped form his thoughts as someone grabbed him. He expected Skorch, or some sort of spirit, but his eyes widened in disbelief when he saw Goku.
"What are you doing?! You'll get us both erased!" Yamcha shouted, and then felt Goku pull him from where he was. At once, both of them felt the burning pain of the enclosing reality latch itself to them.
"I'm not leaving you behind!" Goku yelled, grabbing Yamcha and bolting off through the nexus, the invisible fire seemed to burn them both, and their vision became dull, colorless, as if it was black-and-white, like pages in a manga.
"Goku, are you insane?!" Yamcha shouted.
"Maybe! But I ain't leavin' a friend behind!" Goku yelled, now seeming like nothing more than a pencil sketch. The world grew dark, and Goku felt tired, he felt hungry… sure, he usually was hungry but this was different. He wanted to stop running, to kick back, relax and enjoy the warm sunlight… "I wonder if Krillin and the others will be there…" He thought as everything slowed down. Looking at his arm, it was now circles and lines, he didn't know what was happening, and he felt like he was on fire. But he also felt oddly at peace, aside from something shoving him forward and the sudden blast of cold air…
THOOM!
Then, the colour returned.
Goku saw his arm looked normal, he felt air in his face, actually, he felt a lot of air in his face, almost as I he was falling. The world was spinning rapidly as he fell towards- OH CRAP! The world was spinning! Goku snapped back to reality, but there goes gravity, pulling him down. Before he could do anything, the cold air changed to a cold wet feeling as he crashed into the nearby lake, sinking underwater before struggling up above, pulling himself to land.
"GOKU!" He could hear… someone, screaming.
"Chi?"
"I'm here…" His wife said tiredly, smiling as she took his hand weakly. "I'm here."
"Where's… Wolf… Fist…?"
"Ugh… I'm here!" Yamcha drunkenly slurred, looking at his sword, the glyphs now glowing. "That was metal…"
Goku swore he heard and/pr felt multiple beings rushing towards him. But his head felt light, lighter than usual. And his body felt like it had run Snake Way fifty times while carrying New Namek on his back… all without stopping!
"Hey, Goku."
"Yo?"
"When… when we're done here… you wanna go get a bite to eat?" Yamcha tiredly asked.
"Oh, my Kami, YES." Goku exhaled, finally pulling himself up and seeing his family appearing. "Hey guys! We rescued Chi-Chi!" He spoke in a way-too-casual-tone.
"MOM!" Gohan and Goten shouted, running forward and hugging her. The family embraced, and cried, and felt joy… they were together again.
And it wasn't just them who felt these feelings. The Z-Fighters now knew that Black was gone (for now) and the day was saved! Sure, Trunks' future was gone – because screw Future Trunks I guess – but still, that was another threat defeated, and they felt like they could finally slow down a little bit.
"It's unbelievable, really, how much of this just happened to come together." Whis nodded. He was happy for Ch-Chi's return and Black's defeat, but something seemed… off. And for the afterlife of him, he couldn't say why.
"Aw, c'mon Whis! Who cares how it came together?! Chi-Chi's alive, Black's gone, everything worked out! If anything, Skorch probably had some sorta crazy plan behind all this!"
There was an awkward cough, and everyone looked to Chi-Chi.
"Goku, I need to be honest… this… was my idea…" She admitted.
"WHAT!?" Was shouted by… everyone. Even the usually calm and collected Whis did a spit-take at what he had heard. Chi-Chi sighed, and sat down, having a feeling this may be a long explanation.
"Hang on, how much of this was your idea?" Bulma asked.
"All of it."
"Define 'all of it'."
"Me dying, going to the library, let me start from the beginning. When Trunks – the Future one showed up – I got to thinking about what Skorch said about the Library of Eternity. I asked him how someone from our world could get in. He told me that we had to give up our soul, so I made a deal that he could take my soul when I died, in exchange for temporary protection of Gohan and Goten. Then, when I 'died', he took my soul, and he had to take me to the Library until the mess with Black was resolved. So… I figured I could figure out the future from there, and then get that information to you. Except… well, I just couldn't stand by and hope that things would turn out okay! When I got to the library, I- I was the one who tore the pages out of the book, I was trying to stop the fight before it began. According to this old man named Gi, or Guy, or something, Gekhin? I don't remember… if the pages were destroyed, then they'd have to be re-written. And I hoped by destroying the pages that it could undo whatever Zamas had done."
There was silence, bewilderment, bafflement, and admiration in the air as everyone took in what was said. It was… confusing, to say the least. But... it did make sense. Sort of.
"So, you're saying Black or Zamas somehow got into the Library, or did something so drastic it re-wrote the future so he won, then when you went in there, you destroyed those pages to try and force a re-do to a future where we won?" Vegeta summarized what Chi-Chi had attempted.
"Pretty much, yes."
"And in order to do so, you have to convince Skorch you wanted to make a deal, and then effectively kill yourself, knowing that both him, Goku, Myself and the others wouldn't let that happen without consequences, which would lead Skorch to bring Goku and someone else to rescue you."
"That's pretty much what happened."
"So, you outsmarted Skorch, and tricked him into breaking his own rules?"
"I wouldn't say I 'tricked' him, but he didn't know about me destroying the pages of the tome. I told him the plan was for me to get the information to him, and he would pass it to you. He planned on helping get me out of there, but I had to convince him this was the only way we could do it."
The silence returned, as everyone realized what had happened. Then, someone started jovially laughing.
"BAHAHAHAHA- Oh, oh that is rich!" Beerus was laughing uncontrollably now. But, it didn't seem to be a condescending laughter, if anything, he seemed impressed. "A mere mortal outsmarted an Eternal Deity at his own game! Well, it's clearer than ever that Goku got the brawn while you got the brains in this marriage!"
While no one else wanted to laugh, that was how they were feeling. Goku was shocked, but also totally understood why Chi-Chi had done this. He also wasn't exactly smart enough to know that this probably wasn't the smartest thing she could've done, but he saw it as her wanting to help, and protecting their kids, so he saw nothing wrong with that.
"I mean, technically I should destroy you for tampering with the sacred timeline." Beerus shrugged, setting everyone on edge. "But I don't feel like it. Besides, this seems more like a Skorch problem, and if he agreed to this deal, then I guess he agreed to whatever after effects it may have. He can take it up with the Omni-King."
"Zenö-Zama! I forgot about him!" Goku exclaimed, looking to Bulma. "Bulma, I need to borrow the time machine!"
And that was how Universe Seven ended up with two Lord Zenö's. And absolutely NOTHING TERRIBLE would EVER come because of this decision EVER. That's just an absolute fact! There is no possible way this could end poorly for these characters! But, this did leave the Z-Fighters with one remaining lose end, and unlike General Sheppard, gasoline wasn't going to fix it. (also, screw General Sheppard. All my homies hate General Sheppard.)
Trunks and Mai.
And it was with great sadness that the pair planned to leave to another timeline, leaving everyone behind once again.
"…do they have to?" Bulma asked, trying to hold back tears.
"Well, I'm unsure what else they can do." Whis commented with a frown. "They aren't from this timeline, so I'm unsure where they should go."
"Eh, whatever." Beerus waved dismissively. "I'll let them live, they helped kill Black. They deserve that at least."
"Th-thank you, Lord Beerus!" Mai and Trunks bowed in respect. "But- but you are correct, we're not sure where to go."
"Hey, where's Skele-bro?" Krillin asked. "Did I really just call him-"
"I think Chi-Chi killed him." Goku said, matter-of-factly. "When she took her soul back, she punched through his chest, and he turned to dust."
Everyone went quiet again, now fearing the strength and wrath of Kakarot's wife.
"Wait, didn't he leave a message behind?" Bulma asked. And that was how everyone gathered around to watch whatever tape Skorch had left behind.
The video came on, and Skorch looked to the camera.
"Hey, people I barely respect, and Whis!" Skorch laughed with a wave.
"Oh, c'mon… that was uncalled for."
"So, if you're watching this, then things worked out great! Black is gone, the day is saved, and I'm not there for some reason. But, whatever! So… I'm gonna break some rules right now, and tell you the truth. Before… Cell showed up, when I was in the library before Black made things weird, I read how this was supposed to end, and ho boy… after everything that happens, after all the crap, pain and nightmares Old Man Trunks goes through, to just… LOSE your entire world? I ain't happy with that ending, so I'm giving you guys an offer… and it just occurred to me I'm talking to a camera, so I can't see or hear your reactions, I really should've just come out and said this. Just- look, just stay in this timeline."
From there, it was explained (rather hastily) that if Future Trunks and Mai simply changed their hair colour (or hair style), and then just claimed to be 'older siblings' or something along those lines, the only way Lord Zenö would know is if he went looking for it, and since he now had a friend, it stood to reason he would have no reason to. It looked like the video was over, when…
"Crap, Bulma! There's something REALLY important I need to tell you!" Skorch exclaimed catching the scientist's attention. He paused, then quickly said. "You're old." And then the video ended.
"W-W-we can stay!?"
"They can stay!?
"He had the nerve to call me old?!"
The excitement died for a second as everyone looked to Bulma.
"Now I hope Chi-Chi killed you, you bastard!" Bulma yelled at the blank screen.
"Oh yeah, he mentioned something about eternal youth…" Goku added, then frowned. "Great, now I can't remember…"
"Goku, if you're joking, I swear to Shenron I'M GONNA-"
"But for real, they can stay!?" Lil' Trunks asked, hopeful that his future self could stay. He wanted to learn from him, and hear about his future!
"I mean.., the Watcher's plan could hypothetically work…" Whis mused.
"I'm not going to bother telling you all what you can and can't do." Beerus dryly said, seeming kinda fed up at this point. "You won't listen to me, and if that idiot skeleton is the one suggesting this, then I can just blame him if this goes south." He paused, then added: "Just know if Lord Zenö finds out about this, then all of you will most likely be destroyed, and I won't do a thing to stop him."
The threat was there, but Future Trunks was willing to take it.
Future Trunks and Future Mai looked to one another in absolute joy. It wasn't their timeline, but it was their home. No more Cell, no more killer Androids, no more Goku Black… and while it was true, they had lost many, many people they deeply cared for (F. Trunks knowing he would never see his Mentor, or Mother again. At least, not the 'original' ones, he would still have those connections. One way or another, and after a lifetime of misery and pain, that was more than good enough for Trunks. And with the day saved, allies rescued, and families re-united, they could all look to the future and what sort of cataclysmic event would call them back to the front lines of action…
NEXT TIME, ON THE Z-FIGHTERS REACT TO DEATH BATTLE! (TAKE TWO!)
The End.
Of this Arc.
NEXT TIME:
CHUCK
FREAKIN'
NORRIS.
Yes, this was a shorter chapter, again. Next time (and next year, actually…) will be longer. I promise! Anyhow, Future Trunks and Future Mai are staying in this timeline, but they won't be in every chapter. This also may affect an upcoming event… we shall see… and if you don't like me changing this ending, I just want Future Trunks to have a happy ending for ONCE that doesn't get ripped away, damn it!
So, I've been thinking a lot about this fic (it's not getting cancelled, don't panic) but I think in all honesty, I've been doing this wrong. This is a 'Reacts to Death Battle' fic, and I think the lengths I've gone to to try and incorporate the story have been a bit much. I'm not happy with how much work I've had to put into the 'stories' when I should be focusing on the Death Battles. So, for the foreseeable future, I'll be heavily cutting back on the story arcs. I won't remove them, and will still incorporate them, but I want to focus on the actual DEATH BATTLES more than the stories surrounding them. Which brings be to my second note:
While I considered retiring 'Skorch' here, as some reviewers like him, and some seem to hate him, I think I found a good middle ground. Skorch, from this point forward, exists more-so in the background. He'll talk with everyone, and sometimes make things happen, but he'll mainly be the external source of information on the fighters and worlds the Z-Fighters come across in later episodes of Death Battle, like what he was supposed to be at first. He won't be in every chapter going forward (with a few exceptions) but hopefully this will be a better balance for everyone. This chapter had a lot of Skorch, because I needed to wrap things up and move on, but didn't want to say 'Then everything was cool, the end.'
Anyhow, thanks for sticking around this long! And be sure to check your PM's, I reply to reviews and messages, but the site doesn't always send out notifications.
Also, also, I've seen TotallyNotMarks' videos and the crap Toei is pulling… not cool. Not cool. There's a lot more to discuss, (I've studied media law for a few years, and it's tricky), but all I'll say is this, Toei is definitely doing things the wrong way right now, and I feel really, REALLY bad for Mark.
UPDATE: Well, Toei won.
Damn.
Should they ever come for this fic… well, I got backups (Not up yet) and if those fail… it's been fun! I'll see y'all in H.F.I.L.!
Still,
CHUCK NORRIS VS SEGATA SANSHIRO NEXT TIIIIIIIIME
2022 UPDATE: So, I really just scrubbed most of the Goku Black stuff, sorry. It just doesn't work the way I had it planned. Mai and F. Trunks are sticking around, and Zamasu WILL return! But for now, let's focus on DEATH BATTLES.