Chapter Thirteen: Amends
The sky was turning a light, delicate shade of pink when Ciel's eyes fluttered open.
For a moment, he lay motionless, studying the intricate silver patterns on the canopy above his bed. His own screams were still echoing in his head, along with a hoarse laughter of Vanel and rough, indifferent touches of Lau who he had been sold to in his dream.
A dream. Just that.
Taking a deep, measured breath, Ciel waited for his heart to calm.
Vanel was an expected visitor. After the events of the previous day, Ciel had no doubts that he would appear in his dreams. But Lau? Lau was new and thus unsettling.
Maybe it was because of his overly tactile behaviour and Madam Red's opinions. Why were all adults so interested in… that? The mere thought filled Ciel with mind-numbing disgust.
Every time he was kidnapped, he was threatened with it. Every time he met those who were supposed to be loyal to him, such as Lau and Undertaker, he heard hints and dirty insinuations. He had never thought of it before, never allowed himself to wander in that direction, but after Madam Red's words, Ciel's mind kept focusing on the men in his life obsessively, recalling their past behaviour, their gazes and words and casual touches, finding reasons for mistrust in every one of them.
Everyone but Sebastian. On the other hand, Sebastian deserved mistrust more than others, just for different reasons.
The thought of him made something tighten painfully in Ciel's throat and he cleared it hastily, frowning at himself.
Sebastian could go straight to hell. He was a pawn, nothing else, and Ciel would use him as such.
He glanced at the time, calculating whether he should try to sleep some more or start his day already. There were about three more hours before he had to wake up, but something was bothering him, something other than his nightmare...
Right. Vanel's case and the mess that Sebastian had left behind.
"Sebastian," Ciel called sharply. His voice was still riddled with sleep but he knew the demon would hear.
The door opened within seconds, letting Sebastian inside.
"Young Master," he purred. He was practically radiating smugness and Ciel considered its possible causes before sighing tiredly.
Of course. Sebastian had correctly guessed that after everything, he would have a nightmare, and he actually thought that Ciel would be disturbed enough to need his mockery of a comfort. Ciel wouldn't be surprised if Sebastian had been waiting somewhere behind the door, anticipating his crying out impatiently.
Not this time.
"Send a letter to Randall," he ordered flatly. "Tell him to release the official statement of what happened in Vanel's house to the newspapers. Our participation shouldn't be mentioned — the underworld will know who killed everyone. That will do."
Sebastian sent him a strange glance, as if incredulous that Ciel could be thinking of such things in the middle of the night.
"It will be done," he said after a pause. "Anything else?"
"No. Start composing the letter right away, I want Randall to take actions first thing in the morning."
Sebastian bowed but didn't leave the room, waiting for something. Without saying a word, Ciel turned away from him, dragging his blanket up to cover himself.
"Close the door on your way out," he added.
Sebastian wavered for a few moments. Only then did he finally move, his unhurried footsteps conveying his perplexed state. The door closed and Ciel relaxed, shutting his eyes.
He would learn to deal with his nightmares himself, like tonight, like always. Being alone was better than sleeping in the presence of the creature that would gladly let him be tortured for the fun of it.
Misery stirred in his chest, heavy and depressing, but Ciel ignored it. Soon, he managed to fall asleep.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
"Twining's Earl Grey with bergamot and mint. It's a special limited edition, so I thought it would be to your taste," Sebastian uttered, placing the tray on the bedside table. Ciel didn't reply, pushing closer to the edge of the bed and nodding shortly, indicting he was ready to be dressed.
Sebastian's touches were cool and gentle as he slipped piece after piece of clothing on him, accurate and flawless as always. However, he spent a particularly long time on the buttons of his shirt for some reason, slowing his movements deliberately, and Ciel narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
Sebastian was clearly set on being absolutely insufferable. He must have caught on-on the distance Ciel was erecting between them already and now he was testing the limits of his patience, establishing the ground of what he must think was a new game.
But there was no game. Ciel was too tired to even ponder over it — he simply needed a break from Sebastian, the longer, the better.
When Sebastian finally finished, he took his cup of tea, breathing in its herbal scent.
It smelled good. It tasted good, too.
Sebastian stared at him, palpably expecting him to say something, and Ciel raised his eyebrow inquiringly.
"Is there anything you want to ask?"
Sebastian blinked.
"No, my lord," he replied cautiously. His own eyes narrowed in contemplation. "Is the tea to your liking?"
"Don't ask stupid questions. If it wasn't to my liking, I would have thrown it into your face already."
A strange startled half-smile curled up Sebastian's lips for a second before his face cooled, all traces of mirth leaving it.
"Very well. When you are ready, please come to the dining room. Your breakfast will be served in a minute."
It was self-evident, but this time, Ciel didn't comment. Every their morning started the same way, so he wasn't sure why Sebastian deemed it relevant to say that to him.
He also wasn't sure why Sebastian hadn't left yet. Was watching him drink tea that fascinating?
"You can leave," Ciel snapped finally, when the scrutiny began to bother him, and Sebastian obeyed him wordlessly.
Honestly, must this demon annoy him from the very morning? Hopefully, he would quickly get used to their new, more impersonal routine and stop with his attempts to engage him in conversation.
When Ciel finally got to the dining room, his breakfast was already waiting for him. Sebastian was standing nearby, observing him with inscrutable expression.
Usually, they continued their discussion of plans for the day, which was supposed to start back in Ciel's room. Now, Ciel chose to eat his meal in silence, trying to ignore Sebastian's stares and focus on his own thoughts.
He had no active cases going on at the moment. The Queen hadn't contacted him with any requests, so he could work on new ideas for Funtom. They had more than enough sweets, but the toys section needed to be expanded. Ciel himself had no interest in toys, so determining what others would like was challenging. It was embarrassing to a degree — he felt so removed from the concept of children that he couldn't even imagine what might appeal to them.
He could always ask Elisabeth but her answers were bound to be predictable. Pretty dolls, pretty trinkets, nothing original. Nothing Ciel wanted to be associated with.
"What would you like for dessert, French cookies or ice cream?" Sebastian's voice broke into his thoughts and Ciel frowned at the distraction.
"I haven't finished my breakfast yet. Why are you talking about dessert?"
"I thought—"
"Stop thinking, then, and let me eat in peace!"
And there it was — the tightening of Sebastian's lips, the reddening of his eyes, the slight darkening of the room.
Sebastian disliked the new routine. Who would have thought?
"Where is Madam Red?" Ciel asked coldly, and the atmosphere warmed somewhat, like Sebastian was pleased with finally being addressed first.
"She hasn't left her room yet. Madam Red prefers to wake up at the later hours."
"Fine. Make sure to serve her breakfast when she does wake up. Offer her your company if she has any plans for today."
This was the best solution. With Sebastian's need to be in the centre of attention and with Madam Red's love for the same, they would be busy with each other, leaving Ciel to execute his own plans in blessed silence.
The room darkened again. It was barely noticeable but Ciel knew Sebastian and the effects of his moods too well to miss it.
So Sebastian didn't want to be in Madam Red's company. Was he interested in being the centre of Ciel's attention in particular? Maybe it was somehow connected to their contract.
"As you wish, my lord," Sebastian's voice was emotionless.
After that, none of them spoke another word.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
Once he was finished with breakfast, Ciel hastened to move away from Sebastian's oppressive attention. The moment he saw Madam Red standing frozen on the stairs, though, a fresh wave of annoyance rolled through him.
Why couldn't he have finished eating a few minutes earlier? Now he would be stuck in another pointless conversation.
To his surprise, Madam Red didn't even turn in his direction. She continued to stare at the wall before her.
"Madam?" Ciel asked carefully. "Are you all right?"
"Why did you remove the portrait?"
Hearing her usually cheerful voice devoid of any emotions was unusual. Ciel looked at the wall himself, almost expecting to see the painting of his parents there, and a small, tight knot swelled in his throat when he didn't.
He'd removed it himself. How could he forget?
The knot temporarily stole his ability to talk, so he stood like a fool for a while, up until self-disgust forcefully washed any semblance of a pathetic obstacle away.
"It was time to take it off," he said coolly. Madam Red turned to face him, appearing hesitant, as if she couldn't decide what to feel.
"Why?" she asked quietly.
"Because I'm the head of the Phantomhives now. My predecessor—"
"Your father, Ciel. He is your father, have the decency to acknowledge that!"
Shock at her atypical harshness spread like fire through his body, making his heart sink. Ciel's hand reached for his chest before he stopped himself, staring at his aunt in disbelief.
"He remains your father," Madam Red said, much softer this time. "And he remains the head of the house. I know that you try to emulate him but—"
"I'm not trying to emulate anyone!" Ciel hissed. Shock melted, with fury being born in its place. "I am the head of this family. What I achieved, I did it myself. I have my own people and my own rules, and there won't be a portrait of my predecessor hanging in the central hall for everyone to see!"
Madam Red gasped quietly, closing her mouth with her hand. They stood in uncomfortable silence for what seemed like years, until Madam Red's loud, fake laughter broke it.
"Don't mind me, nephew, dear," she murmured. "I don't know what I'm talking about. Honestly, it's so good that I ran into you! I have to ask for a favour."
Such abrupt change in the mood was jarring, but Ciel managed to collect himself on time and smile just as artificially.
"I'm listening."
"Listen, Ciel…" Madam Red giggled awkwardly. "Our Grell is completely incompetent. Would it be possible for you to have Sebastian train him as a butler? I'll give you a big thank you in return!"
Another incompetent person in his manor? And Grell, no less! Ciel'd had more than enough of him in the last few days.
Then again, if he were to become Sebastian's responsibility… it could actually serve Ciel's purpose of busying him with something else, to reduce their communication by as much as possible.
"Fine," he said. "I'll let Sebastian know."
At least that would be entertaining.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
In the next two days, the situation remained stable. Maintaining distance was easy when there was work, and Ciel immersed himself into Funtom's development entirely. Sebastian kept trying to hover over his shoulder but Ciel dismissed him every time, drawing bitter satisfaction from how bothered he was starting to look.
Ciel was already used to it. Every time he pulled away, Sebastian started to crave closeness, like he was feeding on Ciel's emotions and disliked being cut off from the source of his food.
This time, though, Ciel wasn't going to relent. He would keep his promise to himself, and Sebastian… Sebastian could starve, for all he cared. He'd brought it on himself.
Today's Math lesson was surprisingly interesting. Ciel focused on solving the new task thoroughly, forgetting that he wasn't alone in the room. His hand was flying over the piece of paper eagerly when Sebastian's voice intruded upon his thoughts.
"Young Master, I must say that your latest order is proving to be challenging. Your aunt's servant has already broken more plates than Finnie, Bard, and Mey-Rin have managed to do in a week. If you wish me to train him, I must insist on—"
"Why are you telling me this now?" Ciel snapped in frustration. When he glanced back at the task, he realized he had lost his train of thought and that even his own calculations now looked senseless. Hissing under his breath, he glared at Sebastian. "What's gotten into you? Why would you interrupt me when I'm doing the task you assigned? You hate when I'm distracted during lessons and yet you've just distracted me yourself!"
Sebastian looked lost for a moment, as if he was uncertain about the reasons of his own behaviour. It softened the ire boiling inside Ciel's chest but it didn't quell it entirely.
"I would appreciate it if in the future, you focused on fulfilling your direct obligations," he said icily. "Currently, you are a teacher. Behave as such. I don't wish to hear about your problems with Grell."
Sebastian nodded slowly, staring at him with blank expression. His eyes were dark and hooded, and it was impossible to tell what he could be thinking of.
This same fascination with feelings of someone who couldn't feel a thing had already led Ciel to disaster once. He wasn't going to repeat it.
Turning away, he focused on his task again, but while nothing was said, he could almost hear Sebastian's annoyance, could almost taste a strange emotion that would be turmoil in anyone else.
Leave it to this demon to disobey his order even without doing anything to directly distract him. Maybe he was doing it on purpose, putting on a more human façade to pretend he could be bothered by something other than his hunger and his penchant for playing games.
Ciel wouldn't buy into it. He wouldn't.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
Next morning, there was a suspicious amount of white roses spread all over the house. Ciel examined them wearily, wondering if Sebastian would ever learn from his mistakes. Filling every free space with his favourite flowers hadn't worked once, why did he insist on doing that every time Ciel attempted to limit their communication? Did he think that by seeing white roses, Ciel would automatically forget about his disloyalty?
Maybe it did work. A little. But certainly not in a way that mattered.
"You have a letter from Lau, my lord," Sebastian said, offering him the envelope. Ciel accepted it silently, removing the letter from it and studying its content.
Lau was asking him to come see him. Interesting.
"Prepare the coach," Ciel ordered, his eyes still scanning the letter. "I'm going to London. Ask Finnie to leave what he is doing — he will accompany me."
The pause that followed was so long that Ciel finally raised his head.
"Is there any particular reason why you are still standing here?" he asked sharply, and frowned when the air practically crackled under the force of Sebastian's displeasure.
"You would like Finnie to accompany you?"
"That's what I said."
An ugly sneer twisted Sebastian's lips and somehow, it was startling after these days of his fake deference.
Startling and sobering.
"Are you sure it's safe?" Sebastian inquired, contempt and derision heavy in each of his words. "Our servants can defend the house when needed but they are useless as personal bodyguards. Their training is lacking."
"Their training might be insufficient but their loyalty is in place. If something happens to me, they will try to save me in any way they can. You, on the other hand, will be standing there until my life is in direct danger. I'm sure that you would have gladly watched Vanel sell me to those people he was speaking of, and you would have interfered only if I begged you for it."
Ciel hadn't planned on saying this much, but the words had left his mouth as if they wanted to be spoken themselves. He pursed his lips tightly, hoping that his swirling bitterness and hurt wouldn't break free again, and it was only his pride that stopped him from looking away from Sebastian.
Sebastian… wasn't reacting in the way he had thought he would. His eyes widened, his lips parted in palpable disbelief, and he stared at Ciel as if he was astonished, unable to believe his accusation.
Was it even real? Or was it another game?
"I would have never let him sell you," Sebastian said carefully. "It would go against the—"
"You are twisting the contract as you see fit," Ciel retorted angrily. "Don't pretend it would have stopped you. You let me be taken from my house. You let me get hurt. You don't respect our contract in the slightest, not until it benefits you. And that's fine. I certainly didn't expect loyalty from a demon. But I hope I've made it clear enough why I'm choosing to take Finnie with me. You…" this time, it was Ciel who sneered at Sebastian contemptuously. "You tire me. I forbid you to even appear in my presence until I call for you. Now go and warn Finnie. I want to leave within half an hour."
Looking away from Sebastian was a relief. Walking away from him even more so.
When Ciel finally got to his room, his heart was still pounding violently, threatening to break his ribs. Bitterness was circulating through his blood freely, but at the same time, there was relief soothing it with its gentle coolness.
Maybe he needed to say those words. Of course, it would have been better if Sebastian had reacted as he should have, with more carelessness and indifference, but even his reaction wouldn't take the sense of closure from Ciel. Not entirely, at least.
The most stubborn and weak part of him yearned to believe Sebastian's astonishment and his attempt at a promise.
It was good that Ciel could easily disregard it.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
Lau was surprisingly restrained during their meeting — at least towards Ciel. His whole attention seemed focused on Finnie, who was gaping at the smoke-filled den in shock.
Ciel hadn't wanted to take him inside, but Finnie insisted. He was evidently taking his new task of accompanying his Master seriously and refused to leave Ciel out of sight even for a second.
It was equally annoying and touching, so while irritation stirred in him, Ciel allowed Finnie to follow him.
It was a mistake. Finnie was stunned by the disarray reigning in Lau's kingdom, and when Lau crept to him, staring at him with his eyes closed, Finnie looked ready to faint.
"You've already met Lau," Ciel said impatiently. "He was staying with us not so long ago."
"But—" Finnie backed away from Lau, closer to Ciel. "This place isn't good for breathing, Young Master. Maybe we should leave."
"Nonsense," Lau commented lightly, leaning over Finnie with an amused smile on his face. "Earl Phantomhive is my frequent guest, he's used to my humble dwelling."
"Leave him alone," Ciel ordered finally, when Lau continued to advance. Ran-Mao, who had been sitting on Lau's chair quietly, looked at him suddenly, her expression bored. "You asked me to come. Is there anything you wish to inform me of?"
"Yes, yes. Azzurro Vanel, the member of the Ferro family... I heard that he died recently under the strangest circumstances." Lau grinned, shark-like, and when Ciel didn't react, his smirk grew. "Rumour has it that you had something to do with his death. Most people are wary. Some… not so much."
"What do you mean?" Finnie stepped forward before Ciel could scold him. "There are those who might want to hurt Young Master?"
"Indeed," Lau crossed his hands across his chest, slowly moving away from both of them. "Ferro family is angry. They are planning. I thought you should know."
"Thank you," Ciel said stiffly, glaring at Finnie and silently warning him not to say another word. "However, you could have told me all that in a letter. Why did you ask me to come all the way to London?"
"I sent you a letter?" Lau's mouth formed a surprised "o", and Ciel growled quietly, his indignation skyrocketing.
Why did he surround himself with idiots? What a senseless trip! If he didn't know Lau and his weirdness at this point, he would have thought that he had been lured out deliberately.
"That man didn't seem so strange when he was our guest," Finnie murmured anxiously as they walked outside. "Please tell me you never go there alone, Young Master."
A part of Ciel appreciated this protectiveness but a bigger one was filled with crawling disgust at being coddled so.
"I can handle myself," he said coolly. Finnie continued to glance at him in unease, biting his lower lip, and Ciel rolled his eyes. "I don't go there alone," he relented. "Sebastian usually accompanies me."
To his surprise, Finnie winced at this response.
"What?" Ciel smirked knowingly. "Do you not enjoy Sebastian as your superior?"
"No," Finnie shook his head wildly. "I love Mr. Sebastian. He always explains my mistakes and helps me learn how to become better. But he was very strict these last days… We all try to avoid him because he just says very hurtful things whenever he sees us."
Ciel frowned, wondering what that could be about. He was just turning to Finnie to ask another question when the door of the carriage they were passing opened abruptly and strong hands dragged him inside.
Finnie, to his credit, reacted momentarily, though he was still too slow to do anything. His hands clutched at Ciel's cane instead and it bent as soon as he touched it. And based on Finnie's reaction, he didn't see it coming.
Ciel managed to send him an infuriated glare before the door of the carriage snapped shut and he was plunged into semi-darkness. He didn't have a chance to turn — someone's rough hands put a blindfold on him, and the next second, a dry piece of cloth was forcibly pushed into his mouth. The same person tied his hands behind his back and threw him into the seat, clicking his tongue mockingly.
Wonderful. Another kidnapping. And he had ordered Sebastian to stay away from him until he called, which was a bit difficult to do with a gag.
When would he stop giving thoughtless orders?
"Are you sure that's him?" a male voice asked dubiously. "He seems to be blind."
"Just because he wears that patch over one eye doesn't make him blind, you imbecile! Did you put that blindfold on properly? I don't want him to even look at us."
"Come on, that's too much."
"Did you see what happened to Azzurro? I don't trust this boy one bit. Something freaky is happening whenever he's around. See, he doesn't even try to fight."
"Maybe he's too slow and didn't realize what's happening."
Ciel tried to sigh, already bored with them. Why did such things always happen to him? Sebastian had to know he was in danger but the bastard wouldn't have moved even in the best circumstances, not to mention when he had Ciel's foolish order as his excuse.
"Let's see what he has to say about this," one of the men said gleefully, and Ciel had to fight against the tension that instantly flooded him.
His ribs were still aching after Vanel. Interesting, would his relatives, or whoever they were, be more original in their methods of torture?
A cold blade touched his face and Ciel jerked from the unexpectedness of it, to the delight of his kidnappers.
"Oh, he reacts all right," one of them drawled, and the blade pressed harder. "How about we mar his arrogant fa—"
There was a strange noise. The carriage stopped, and then the screams started, terrified and full of agony. Ciel froze as soon as they escalated, unable to believe this was happening yet failing to find another explanation.
This could only be… but no. Why would Sebastian change his pattern of behaviour now?
Who else could be here, though? Ciel certainly didn't have any other supernatural force on his side. Also, there was something distinctly familiar about the dark presence he could feel with his very essence, one that was currently tearing his enemies to bits.
Slowly, the screams died out. Ciel continued to sit rigidly, still blindfolded, waiting for… he didn't know what. Just something.
The silence stretched. There was a barely noticeable shift in the air before the gag was removed from his mouth. A ghost of a cool touch brushed against his cheek, and then the door opened once again, Finnie's loud voice making his ears ache.
"Master!" Before Ciel knew it, his hands were untied and the blindfold was removed. He immediately glanced around the carriage but predictably, there was no one inside. No one but torn, bloody chunks of what had been human bodies just a minute ago.
Finnie's face was wet with tears but when he looked at the pieces of corpses, there was only wild fury in his eyes.
"Are they all gone?"
"Yes," Ciel cleared his throat and adjusted his coat. His eyes fell on his cane that Finnie was still clutching, and frozen wonder shattered, giving way to irritation.
"You broke my cane," he said flatly. Finnie gasped.
"I'm sorry! It was an accident—"
"I know."
"…and who cares about some cane, anyway? You could be hurt!"
Hearing something this impolite and daring was not what Ciel was accustomed to. His frown deepened and he grimaced, disliking this feeling. Finnie was truly overprotective and overly emotional, it was unbecoming of anyone calling himself a Phantomhive servant.
For some reason, though, Ciel couldn't find the strength to rebuke him.
"It's all right," he said neutrally, measuring his ruined cane with a sour gaze. "Let's get back to our carriage before anyone notices this."
Finnie obeyed him without question, wiping his tears off his cheeks.
"I'm glad they are dead," he murmured. Ciel waited for the inevitable question of who had killed those men, but to his disbelief, Finnie didn't say another word.
His people were indeed strange. Non-people were strange, too.
Sebastian had saved him. There could be no one else. He saved him despite having a perfect excuse to stay uninvolved for a time.
Why did he do that?
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
At home, Sebastian didn't come out to greet them, probably still following Ciel's order. This only created more questions, so Ciel went to his study and rang the bell, unwilling to call him by name.
Sebastian entered soon and Ciel's eyes immediately bored into him, watching for any trace of smugness.
There was none. Sebastian wore the usual blank mask of politeness that could mean everything and nothing at once.
"Did you instruct Grell for the day?" Ciel asked distantly. Sebastian bowed his head.
"Yes, my lord. I'm not sure how much he will manage to do but I was as detailed with my instructions as possible."
Ciel leaned against his chair, his thoughts dashing forward.
He was sure that Sebastian had saved him today. There was no other explanation. But why would he hide it? Why would he disappear from the carriage without even saying anything? Was it to technically carry out Ciel's order? But Ciel wouldn't have hold his assistance against him in such situation, order or no order, it was absurd!
"Where is Madam Red?" he asked.
"She has retreated to her room. I received no requests from her."
"Have you started preparing dinner?"
"Yes, my lord."
Infuriating. What was Sebastian paying at? Did he want to confuse him? Pretend that he was regretful and wanted to make amends? But for that, he would have to admit he was wrong, and Sebastian would never do that. It wasn't in his nature.
In the end, it was easier to believe that some other force had saved him than to accept the version of Sebastian trying to apologise.
Perhaps there was some third option but Ciel couldn't figure out what it could be. In any case, he wasn't going to ask. Sebastian's action did mean something to him but it wasn't enough, particularly as Ciel was too wary to really trust it.
"Fine," he finally looked away. "You can go."
Sebastian bowed again before moving toward the door. Then he stopped.
"Oh, and I have ordered a new cane for you, Master. It should be ready within the next two days."
Ciel's head snapped up just as the door closed.
Had he just…
Damn Sebastian. He always had to make everything even more complicated.
Ciel was officially confused.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
Whatever Sebastian's game was, it worked. Ciel found himself inevitably drawn to his presence again, eager to solve the new puzzle. The coldness he had been cultivating so effectively began to melt, and though he clang to the remaining parts of it, his curiosity was gradually winning.
Sebastian noticed, naturally — he had to notice. While he hid his smugness well, Ciel could feel he was pleased with this half-return to their previous state of relationship.
Currently, they were on their way to London, to the workshop where his new cane was supposed to be waiting. Ciel was silent mostly, pondering how he could push Sebastian into discussing what he wanted, but starting that line of conversation would be too obvious. It had to happen naturally if he wanted to get at least some hint into what Sebastian was thinking.
"Is it here?" he asked, eyeing the wooden door.
"Yes," Sebastian confirmed. "This place is not widely known but I've heard that the master is the best in his field."
"How did you manage to find him? I doubt it was idle research."
Sebastian sent him a mysterious smile, opening the door and letting him step forward.
If he continued just ignoring his questions, Ciel would never know the truth. Cunning bastard.
A bold man looked up as they entered, his face acquiring a friendly look.
"Welcome, lad!" he uttered, and Ciel immediately disliked him. "Are you here for your father?"
What! The level of presumptuousness…
Ciel narrowed his eyes, itching with desire to say something to put this fool into his place, but Sebastian smoothly interrupted him.
"Excuse me. We have come to collect my Master's cane." He offered a receipt and the man squinted, studying it.
"Ah, that cane… I was wondering who would use such a short one."
Ciel glowered, clenching his fists. And Sebastian claimed this man was a master? Masters didn't comment on their clients' height! It was beyond unprofessional!
The cane itself appeared beautiful even from afar. Sebastian had a good taste, that was undeniable — now, if the man would just stop talking…
"I never thought a child like—"
Sebastian, who had accepted the cane swiftly, suddenly thrust it forward, stopping millimetres from the man's face and smiling a small, eerie smile.
"It is a wonderful cane," he said softly, but the threat in his voice was unmistakable. "Lacking even the slightest dent."
Dent? Why would there be dents, had Sebastian ordered a blend between his old cane and a new one?
But this was one of the least urgent of Ciel's thoughts. His mind focused on the fact that Sebastian was defending him… in a way. Against a simple verbal attack — insulting, sure, but overall, good-natured.
Sebastian sided with him occasionally against a mutual source of irritation, like Randall, but never in ordinary situations like this. On the contrary, any other time, he would be smirking, enjoying watching Ciel get angry.
Something was definitely wrong with him. What changed his attitude so completely? It couldn't be Ciel's accusation — Sebastian had never denied the fact that he wasn't loyal. He had also never reacted like this before, even when he was displeased with Ciel's attempts at putting distance between them: he tried to get back into his good graces but this? This was ridiculous.
Maybe Sebastian had been replaced by someone. Could demons steal each other's appearance?
And yet, tingling warmth fluttered in Ciel's stomach, melting even more edges of the icy block he had been carrying inside.
He said nothing, savouring this warmth, as they walked out of the workshop, leaving the rattled master behind.
"Finnie's insane strength is rather tiresome," he noted casually as they were moving down the street. "Is a cane really something you can just bend by accident? Placing a special order for a new one must be a pain."
Ciel couldn't see Sebastian's face but he distinctly sensed his pleasure at the banter. More warmth poured inside and he closed his eyes for a moment, fighting to keep an even expression.
"Certainly. What a pity to go to all that trouble when you haven't had a growth spurt in years."
Now that sounded like the Sebastian he knew. Ciel glared at him, but his glare lacked heat. He was too content for it.
"On top of that," Sebastian continued, "we have had to add another troublesome servant to our ranks. I'm not sure how well he is going to do on his own, so we should return home at once."
Returning to normal felt good indeed. Not that Ciel was letting his guard down any time soon, or ever, but…
But it was nice, to think that he could rely on Sebastian, even if it wasn't true.
The other shoe was going to drop again, he didn't doubt it. But he still allowed himself to relax.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
Ciel's carefully improving mood lasted until they arrived to the manor. It all went downhill from there, and surprisingly, this time, it wasn't Sebastian's fault.
"Ciel!" Elisabeth threw herself on him in a whirl of orange fluffiness, and before he could even blink, she was already pressing close, ruffling his hair in the most annoying manner.
"Ciel!" she cried out again. "I missed you so!"
"Elisabeth," he choked out. This was a nightmare. His manor had been turned into a playground for babies, his servants had been mutilated beyond his comprehension, and Elisabeth's loud, cheerful voice was an omen of a day filled with revolting sweetness, empty talks, and silly games.
"No!" thankfully, she pulled away, though her hands stayed on his shoulders. "I asked you to call me Lizzy, didn't I?"
Ciel said nothing, smiling at her tightly. He wasn't sure what Elisabeth could have read on his face but she suddenly jumped on him again, squeezing him in her embrace.
"You really are the cutest thing ever!" she cooed, and Ciel wanted to die just then and there. He tried to pull away, suddenly uncaring of appearing rude, but at this moment, Sebastian approached, greeting Elisabeth politely, as if she hadn't added more work for him with her attempts at decoration.
Ciel cared about Elisabeth. She was endlessly dear to him, in ways he couldn't start to explain. It's just he liked her best when she was away from him and his house.
Using the fact that Elisabeth now focused on Sebastian, he turned away, trying to compose himself, but he was already struggling with the overdose of ridiculousness.
"Look! It's so much cuter, isn't it?" Elisabeth asked joyfully, and Ciel had to take another look at the disaster around him.
Pink. Pink, orange, and yellow everywhere.
Who gave her the right to change everything as she saw fit? Was his word worth nothing at all to her?
When Elisabeth wasn't looking, Ciel managed to catch how the polite mask fell from Sebastian's face, changing to unimpressed disbelief.
At least someone shared his opinion.
Elisabeth was waiting for his answer, though, so he tried to focus.
'It's ugly,' Ciel thought morosely. But saying it aloud… no. No matter how Elisabeth irritated him, he wouldn't fall that low.
"My manor is…" He trailed off, unable to finish this phrase.
Disfigured. Tarnished. Ruined. Sebastian could fix it all in the shortest time possible but not until Elisabeth left, which could take forever.
Had he thought this day was promising? It was terrible.
"There!" Elisabeth announced in triumph, putting a pink hat on Sebastian. "Ah, how cute!"
Any other day, Ciel would have gladly laughed at the stupidity of Sebastian wearing such a silly, inappropriate hat. Now, though, he was too annoyed to feel amused.
"Anyway, Lizzy, why are you here?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't betray his actual thoughts. "Did Aunt let you come here alone?"
"I wanted to see you, Ciel, so I sneaked out in secret!"
Once again, he was being squeezed in a suffocating embrace, his nose buried in Elisabeth's warm cheek.
"In secret?" he stammered. "Don't you think you will get into trouble?"
But reasoning with Elisabeth had never worked. He should have expected that. When she got some idea into her head, she was completely unable to listen to anyone but herself.
"Since the mansion has been decorated so nicely, we should have a ball!"
This time, Ciel couldn't hold back a disgusted grimace.
A ball. In his house. With Elisabeth and his confused servants who had allowed her to dress them into God knew what.
He wanted for the night to come already.
"And then you can escort your fiancée, and we can dance around in circles. How wonderful!" Elisabeth began to whirl him around again, probably already imagining them dancing, and Ciel's initial annoyance and horror began to blend into anger.
Who did Elisabeth think she was? What right did she have to act as if this house belonged to her, as if Ciel was no one important! She would have never dared to act this way with his predecessor, which only meant that she, like Madam Red, didn't see him as a head of the family. In her eyes, he was just a little boy, the same friend of hers whose biggest problem was being denied access to his favourite toys.
"Hey!" he said sharply, and while he didn't raise his voice, this time, he didn't bother to hide his annoyance either. "Who said that it was all right to—"
To his fury, Elisabeth interrupted him again, as if she hadn't heard a word of his protest.
"Wear the clothes I picked out for you, all right, Ciel? I think they'll be really cute on you!"
That was it. He wasn't going to bother with being polite any longer.
"Listen to what you are—" he started to say only to be interrupted once more.
"Oh! I have to do my make-up. Come on," Elisabeth grabbed Grell and dragged him towards the door. "I'll make you ever cuter than you already are!"
"Listen to what you are told!" Ciel yelled, clenching his hands into fists, but Elisabeth disappeared behind the door, leaving a scent of her flowery perfume behind.
A heavy silence fell into the room and Ciel tried to concentrate, to control how he was acting under the force of so many eyes.
All his servants were still here. They were watching him, remembering his behaviour and possibly being ready to mirror it. Ciel absolutely despised Elisabeth at the moment but he couldn't tarnish her name by disregarding her wishes so publicly.
Clearing his throat, he turned towards Bard, Finnie, and Mey-Rin.
"Make our guest feel welcome," he uttered coldly. "I'll be in my office."
Then he fled, with a treacherous part of him hoping that Sebastian would follow and another one wanting to be left alone.
Ball. Dancing. Elisabeth, who wasn't used to being denied and whose worst nightmare entailed not looking 'cute' enough. On the one hand, Ciel wanted her to maintain her innocence — at least one of them had to stay unchanged. But on the other hand, her childishness filled him with impatience, and her inability to understand his mood at least to some extent, her stubborn blindness and refusal to see him for he was now were maddening. She was looking at him and seeing the past version of him, ignoring everything that contradicted her naïve views.
Ciel couldn't imagine having such a carefree and ordinary life. Not anymore. Elisabeth was both a cherished memory of what he'd been once and an uncomfortable reminder of what he'd lost.
He didn't want to see her. And he didn't want to take part in her silly plans, especially when she ignored everything he'd tried to tell her.
The problem was… he didn't know how to refuse her harshly, which was the only way to make her understand. And so he was stuck.
"It would have been easier to agree with her and then subsequently withdraw from the event," Sebastian remarked lightly after Ciel heaved an umpteenth sigh.
He liked that Sebastian had brought him calming tea and a hastily-made dessert. It seemed like this new version of a caring, protective butler survived Elisabeth's intrusion, and it was the only pleasing part of the day.
His suggestion was idiotic, though, which could probably be expected from a socially inept demon. Sure, if he let Elisabeth organise a ball and then escaped quietly, she wouldn't have noticed. Like there were hundreds of other participants who could distract her.
"Can't you just get her some tea or something and get her out of here?" Ciel asked forlornly. Even the best tea in the world would hardly stop Elisabeth but maybe it was worth a try. "I don't have the time to keep up with her little girly games," he added. Dances, clothes, decorations… so very dull, so very meaningless. He wanted nothing to do with it.
"But Lady Elizabeth has invited you to a dance," Sebastian noted, as if it was supposed to mean anything, and Ciel looked away, feeling a new wave of distress roll through him.
Dancing. There were few things he hated more. Playing musical instruments was engaging, at least, because creating a sound had something almost ethereal about it. But dancing? Balls? Mingling with some women who were of no use to him? Ciel hated losing his time like this. Balls were a chance to make connections and observe, not waste valuable opportunities on moving back and force with a crowd of sweaty, irritating people.
"Young Master…" Sebastian drawled, and Ciel hunched his shoulders, already feeling where this was going.
"What?" he mumbled.
"I have never witnessed it, but I assumed you have a proficiency in dancing. Do you?"
Oh no. Not this conversation. He absolutely refused to waste his time on such trivial matters.
Sebastian continued to stare at him in genuine surprise, though, so Ciel hastened to grab the first letter lying on his desk to hide behind it.
"I see," Sebastian said after a pause, a subtle amusement lightening his words. "So that's why you are always such a wallflower during social gatherings."
"I am busy with work," Ciel uttered darkly, refusing to put the letter down. A wallflower! Why would he ever dance when there was nothing to gain from it? People danced to get a betrothed. He already had a betrothed and he certainly didn't need another one. "I have no time to be idling with games like—"
Sebastian boldly snatched the letter from his hands, leaving him without the cover, and Ciel stared at him, astonished by such lack of boundaries.
"Pardon my directness," Sebastian uttered, leaning across the table with such a grave look, one would think he was talking about some unforgivable offense that Ciel had accidentally committed, "but dance balls are quite a regular occurrence, and at events such as banquets and dinner parties, it is an irreplaceable cultural skill to possess."
Ciel turned away, already sick to his stomach with all the talks about dancing. Worse, he recognised this tone of voice. A teacher one.
This would not end well. Even the attractive dessert Sebastian was holding wasn't enough to improve his mood and turn it into positive direction.
"…your reputation at social gatherings could be thrown into the gutter," Sebastian continued to persuade, and Ciel almost growled with annoyance.
"All right, I get it!" he spat. "I'll do it." Maybe he could use Sebastian's advice against him: agree to go along with his plan and then "subsequently withdraw" from the event. "Call me a private tutor or something."
That didn't sound persuasive… maybe he could use the names Elisabeth was always throwing around to boast of her skills.
"Lady Bright, Lady Rodkin, or someone like that," he added, pleased with himself. Now that was convincing enough. These women would hardly agree to take him as their client because their schedule was already full, and even if they did, he would come up with a reliable excuse. Hopefully, Sebastian would forget about this ridiculous idea eventually — Ciel would much rather study Math or even music.
Sebastian opened his pocket watch, pretending to look at it, even though Ciel could clearly see that his eyes were focused somewhere above it.
"There is not enough time to call for the madams," he said, snapping the watch shut. "With your permission, I shall be your dance instructor."
Ciel's jaw dropped from the sheer audacity of such offer. Immediately, his shock grew to fury, and he slammed his fists against the table.
"Don't be ridiculous!" he cried out. "As if I could dance with a tall man like you!"
How could Sebastian even think of offering such a thing! Many of his ideas were devoid of any sense, but this? Where did he even see two men dancing!
Or maybe that was it. Another thing about human world he knew nothing of.
"Besides," Ciel continued, calmer now, "you can't dance anyway." At the beginning of their contract, Sebastian had been terrible in the role of a human. Certainly his dancing capabilities had to be as limited as his cooking had once been.
Sebastian's lips curled in an arrogant smile and Ciel felt his horror returning.
No. Sebastian couldn't know how to dance. He just couldn't.
"If it is the Vienna Waltz, then leave it all to me," Sebastian informed him, and Ciel gaped at him, unable to believe this was really happening. "I was a frequent guest at Schönbrunn Palace."
Sebastian dancing at Schönbrunn Palace. It was located in Austria, wasn't it? Had he served some Austrian master?
Fascination warred with shock. Ciel was struggling with figuring out which of them should be the dominant emotion when Sebastian offered him his hand, watching him attentively. His lips were still twisted in a small, inscrutable smile, and Ciel's heart jumped in panic.
"May I have the honour of this dance, my lord?" Sebastian purred.
And that's when something even more unexpected happened. Ciel's cheeks flushed, filling with heat, and he found himself at the loss for words, like… like some maiden who had received her first dance invitation.
Horrified, he blinked at Sebastian stupidly, his thoughts racing in an attempt to figure out what to do. Should he accept his hand? Should he ignore it? Should he agree to this crazy idea in the first place or should he throw Sebastian out of his office and order him to never suggest anything like this again?
His brain felt broken. Ciel wasn't sure how long he spent sitting like this, trying to understand what to do and failing, looking like an utter fool — it could probably go on for hours, but Sebastian finally lost his patience. He stepped forward and took his hand himself, dragging him out of his comfortable chair towards the middle of the room.
"It's all rather simple," he assured, and a strange anticipatory note in his voice made Ciel even more horrified. "Since you're going to be leading a lady, I'll be taking a female position. Both female and male steps are similar, yet at the same time, a perfect synchrony is required."
"But there is no music," Ciel protested weakly, not recognising his own voice, and something malicious flashed in Sebastian's smile.
"I could call for musicians," he offered. "We can ask Bard to play some instrument. He is quite good at adapting and perhaps he could be entrusted with something like a piano."
"No!" Ciel yelled, a new wave of panic overfilling him. None of his servants could witness this humiliating lesson. He'd rather die than see their reactions.
"I thought so," Sebastian stepped closer, tilting his head thoughtfully. "Then we shall do without music. Let's begin."
Ciel stared at him wide-eyed, for the first time feeling this strangely uncomfortable. In every other lesson, he always asked questions to make sure he understood everything, but now, he felt too intimidated to even talk, never mind ask for clarifications.
"The first step is always from the heel," Sebastian explained casually. Ciel said nothing, continuing to stare at him, and Sebastian took his hand and placed it on his waist. "Hold the lady's back firmly," he said, and Ciel shivered, unsure what to do with himself. With pinched expression, he focused on Sebastian's stomach, refusing to look up and reveal the level of his embarrassment.
"Then, once the melody begins, start from your left foot," Sebastian put his arm on Ciel's shoulder and Ciel tensed further, still not daring to raise his head. How did it even come to this? Everything escalated so fast that he had no chance to react appropriately and now he was thrown into one of the most humiliating situations in his life.
"Now…" Sebastian started to move and Ciel hastened to follow, watching Sebastian's feet and trying to copy his steps. For a few relieving seconds, he forgot about his embarrassment, focusing on his task with all his attention, but in less than ten seconds, his right foot stepped on Sebastian's, breaking his concentration. Mortified, Ciel stumbled, and his eyes finally flew up to Sebastian's face, wondering what he would think about such a disgrace. To his absolute stupor, Sebastian continued giving instructions and moving him around, as if Ciel was a pawn in his hands to be moved as he wanted.
Ciel didn't hear a word of what was being said to him. He kept moving his legs automatically, not even trying to stay in synch with Sebastian at this point, engulfed in a strange, half-conscious state. Then he kicked Sebastian by accident and collided with his midsection, getting plastered against his black jacket.
The world around him stopped and only after a while, Ciel realized that it was only Sebastian who had ceased moving. They stared at each other in silence and Ciel was wary of even imagining how depressed his face must look.
A nightmare. What an utter nightmare. He would never, ever agree to dance with anyone again, especially not with Sebastian.
But Sebastian continued to hold him and for some reason, Ciel didn't move as well, even though everything within him was curling with shame.
Finally, Sebastian sighed.
"Your natural ability for dancing isn't so much lacking as it is non-existent, Young Master. You should not just dangle off me."
Dangle off?!
"It's your fault for being too tall!" Ciel exclaimed defensively. He went from feeling hot to cold and back to hot so rapidly that he could sense sweat starting to trickle down his face.
Sebastian eyed him sceptically, clearly not believing his excuse. He started to pull away and Ciel's stupid hand was too slow to understand this. As the result, he clang to Sebastian like some enamoured girl until the distance finally broke his hold.
Shock was numbing and Ciel simply stared, knowing Sebastian could read every emotion on his face, with how open and unguarded it had to look.
In the last five minutes, Sebastian had received a whole chest of things he could use against him, but in his current state, Ciel couldn't even bring himself to care. And anyway, Sebastian seemed too concerned with dancing, as if it were truly a priceless skill to have.
"Above all else, though," he said, suddenly touching Ciel's cheek and pulling at it roughly, "you must wipe that sour look off your face. It would be rude to show that to a lady."
This insulting roughness and crossing of yet another personal boundary finally tore Ciel from his unexplainable state. He remembered Elisabeth, her stupid ball, the reason he had to learn dancing to begin with, and his flustered confusion, miraculously, started to change into much more familiar anger and bitterness.
Sebastian leaned closer to him, his second hand joining his first one, trying to force a smile on his face in the most idiotic way a demon could possibly come up with, and Ciel hit his hands away violently.
"Unhand me!" he barked.
Indulgent mirth had slipped from Sebastian's face, replaced with confusion of his own.
Good.
"Young Master?" he asked carefully.
This was the most confusing day of his life. Ciel turned away, his fingers reaching to touch his ring for comfort, the events of the day running quickly before his eyes.
"I can't," he said harshly. "I…" He wavered. Why would Sebastian try to make him smile? Smiling was a dead science to him. It was possibly even more complicated than dancing, and who could know it better than a demon who had been by his side ever since those changes took place? "I have long forgotten how to smile joyfully," Ciel finished quietly. It was one thing to pretend to be friendly with strangers who he intended to manipulate, but to pretend like he's having fun in front of people he cared about? It bordered on being impossible.
On the other hand, Elisabeth would hardly notice the difference. She would be happy with him agreeing to dance with her and she wouldn't care about the details.
Strange silence from behind made Ciel look back. Sebastian was watching him intently, his eyes red and icy, and a jab of fear startled Ciel out of his melancholy.
He was being weak. He was being too open emotionally. This was not something he could show to Sebastian — how could he forget?
"Why are you standing there?" he demanded coldly. "Did it look like a successful attempt to you?"
Sebastian bowed his head a little.
"No, my lord," he uttered, and when he looked up again, he was appearing more or less normal. "Let us try again."
Ciel nodded tensely, returning to his side.
The danger was postponed — again. He had to be more careful.
But the moment Sebastian took his hand, his heart skipped a beat, and he was returned into that intolerable dream-like state where everything seemed perplexing and unfamiliar.
They tried, and tried, and tried, and Ciel's face felt crimson after hours of blushing. He never failed to stumble, mix the steps, or collide with Sebastian. His head was spinning, his hands sweating, and his thoughts raced in directions so vague that he couldn't begin to make sense out of them.
"I never thought I would say this, Master, but there appears to be an area where you are truly hopeless at," Sebastian concluded finally, looking at him half-amused, half-contemplating. "You have memorised the theory but you cannot apply it to practice. Perhaps we should change the positions."
"What?" Ciel squeaked. "I'm not going to be repeating girl steps! In case you haven't noticed, I will have to lead Elisabeth, not the other way around!"
"Trying another role might help you feel how the steps should be synchronised," Sebastian argued. "It won't hurt as you need all possible solutions there are."
As Ciel was considering this more than dubious offer, Sebastian touched his waist, pulling him closer, and all his thoughts turned into mash instantly.
Now that he didn't have to lead, following the steps was indeed much easier. Ciel managed to keep up with eleven turns before his foot slipped and crashed into Sebastian's, and the uncharacteristic slowness of his mind didn't allow him to react on time. He stood for a while, still set on following the steps, and the consciousness returned only when Sebastian pushed him away lightly.
"That was better," he praised. He was still holding Ciel's hand and Ciel stared at it, his head infuriatingly empty. "You are as ready as possible for the dance with Lady Elisabeth. I'm afraid if we keep practicing, your legs will give way before you have a chance to invite her."
Elisabeth.
Yes, Elisabeth. Of course. That was why he was practicing. Three hours of his life wasted on silly preparations for an evening he already hated with passion.
But somehow, he couldn't summon the fever of hostility. Ciel had a feeling that these three hours had shifted something fundamental within him, and he needed time to get back to normal.
"I heard Lady Elisabeth has prepared special clothes for you to wear," Sebastian said innocently, and Ciel sighed in defeat.
He wished for the day to end already.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
The clothes Elisabeth had purchased weren't terrible but they looked girlier than Ciel would prefer. He stared at his reflection sourly, wondering if he looked acceptable. He didn't want to ask Sebastian, so in the end, he decided that he didn't care. It was for Elisabeth, after all, and no one but her and the servants would see him.
Ciel went to the hall, calculating how much time he could spend with Elisabeth until it would be all right to send her home. An hour seemed too short. Three hours were unbearably long, so he was left with two.
Two hours. And then freedom for a few more months.
The thought soothed him a bit, but as soon as he stepped into the hall, he was annoyed. Elisabeth was harassing Mey-Rin, blabbering absolute nonsense. Where was she getting this much energy?
"Leave her alone," he ordered. He tried to look friendly but had a feeling that he didn't succeed.
Elisabeth, bless her, was oblivious.
"Ciel!" she shrieked. "You look so cute!"
She didn't even give him a chance before almost knocking him down with the force of her embrace.
"I really have an eye for this kind of thing!" she announced happily, spinning him around, and Ciel had a strange thought that if anyone would lead in a dance, it would be Elisabeth.
It was unthinkable, of course, but her endless energy and inability to stand still certainly gave her an advantage.
"Ciel!" Elisabeth's mood suddenly darkened and she sent him a disapproving glare. "What about the ring I prepared for you? There was a cute one that matched your clothes, wasn't there?"
Oh yes, there was. A bleak copy of the family ring he was wearing. Elisabeth had probably spent a fortune on it when it reality, it was barely worth anything.
"This ring is fine," Ciel replied shortly. One hour and fifty seven minutes left. He could do that.
"No way! After I went to all the trouble of making everything so cute, to have your ring be the only thing that's not cute…"
If she said that word one more time…
But she didn't. Instead, she burst into tears, and Ciel closed his eyes, trying to stay calm and shut Elisabeth's hysterics off for a moment.
He could do it. Elisabeth had his best interests at heart. It wasn't her fault that she was such a… girl.
"It's not that," he said cordially. Maybe he should go for truth, and Elisabeth would feel sufficiently disturbed by it to back off. "This ring is—"
"Got you!"
Before he could blink, Elisabeth dashed forward, snatching the ring from his finger masterfully and jumping back to her place.
"It's mine now!" she crowed, and his initial shock at her impossible speed and agility faded. Fury came in its stead, amplified by this crazy day and all confusion it brought.
"Lizzie!" he growled warningly, taking a step towards her.
"It's too big for you," she explained, still grinning happily, as if nothing was wrong. "The one I got is just the right size for you, and—"
Too big. Another reminder that some people didn't consider him a worthy head of the Phantomhives.
"Give it back!" he snapped, finally letting all anger and hostility enter his voice, and a vicious, gleeful joy spread through his chest when he saw how Elisabeth's eyes flew wide open.
Finally. Finally she woke up from her delusions and saw him for who he was.
"Give that back right now, Elisabeth," he warned lowly, extending his hand. The servants gasped and a part of Ciel delighted in this, too.
He wasn't going to let anyone walk over him. He was the head of the house and he wouldn't play by any other rules but the ones he had set himself.
"Why are you getting so angry?" Elisabeth asked in bewilderment, and Ciel thought this expression was much more pleasant than all her saccharine smiles. "I only… I wanted…"
Ciel narrowed his eyes dangerously, burning her with his gaze. Did she ever hear herself? 'I wanted, I bought.' What made her think he was here to fulfil her silly wishes? He had spent three excruciating hours doing the thing he hated, acting like a fool with softened brain who kept blushing miserably and was unable to concentrate. All to dance with her. He even wore the clothes she had picked, and this was what he was getting in return? More requests. More disrespect. Elisabeth and Madam Red had a lot in common.
"What is it?" Elisabeth's voice began to tremble, this time genuinely. "I was just trying to make everything cute. So, why are you getting so angry?"
He continued to glare at her, not trusting himself to speak any longer, and Elisabeth's face scrunched up.
"I hate this ring!" she screamed, and then she sent it flying.
It wasn't supposed to have any serious impact. Platinum rings didn't break easily and Elisabeth couldn't have much of physical strength — a tea cup must be the heaviest thing she ever held in her hands. And yet, the ring crashed into the floor and jumped up again, losing precious bits of platinum on its way. Ciel stared at it, unable to believe his eyes.
The ring of his family. One of the few palpable connections to it, something he could wear without being seen as sentimental. Most importantly, a symbol of his rebirth, the proof that he was the head of the family now and that he deserved this position.
Rage whirled up in him violently, spreading and consuming every bit of him, until every thought of his was tainted with red-hot anger and desire to hurt.
Ciel dashed forwards, raising his hand, his fury hissing gleefully, eager to burst through and attack anyone in the vicinity.
He was anticipating the satisfaction that would well up in him as his palm connected with the cheek of the one that dared to disrespect him so, but someone's strong grip suddenly stopped him. Ciel turned, almost snarling angrily, and his rage froze the moment he saw attentive red eyes.
Sebastian. What was Sebastian doing—
Oh.
"Young Master," he said, and even though it sounded neutrally, Ciel quickly recognised a warning in his tone. The red fog in his mind cleared and he realised he was panting heavily, as if after running.
"You have forgotten the cane we went to so much trouble to get."
Sebastian's hand snaked around his chest, pressing him closer for a moment, and a surge of cool calmness began to seep through Ciel's skin, sobering him entirely.
He barely noticed how Sebastian put the cane into his hand.
Elisabeth. He had almost hit Elisabeth. The person he had sworn to protect so long ago. Sweet, naïve, smiling Elisabeth who wanted to share her love for the world with everyone she cared about.
She was crying now, quietly and sincerely, and Ciel's heart ached at this sight.
What had he done? What would he have done if it wasn't for Sebastian?
Sebastian… 'The cane we went to so much trouble to get.' Ciel had gotten angry at that shop, too, but he managed to hold his anger at bay. Sebastian, on the other hand, defended him, even though he didn't have to do that.
And now, Sebastian had done even more. He saved Ciel from himself because if he had hit Elisabeth… everything would be over. His reputation, his attempts to make someone of himself. He could have destroyed it all, and for what? Some ring?
Precious ring. Beloved ring. But just a ring, in the end.
Sebastian was now apologising on his behalf but it wasn't necessary. Ciel would have to do that by himself.
He walked to the ring determinedly and picked it up, looking at it dispassionately.
A trinket. He had put all importance of being a head of the Phantomhive family into a trinket. The ring was merely a material symbol of his predecessor — keeping it was indeed sentimental. It didn't define him. He wouldn't let it.
Ciel stopped next to the window. Hesitation bit into him, a longing for a symbol of his family, but then he remembered Elisabeth wincing, ready to be hit by him, and deliberation vanished.
He threw the ring into the open window and watched it disappear somewhere he would never be able to get it back.
"Ciel, what are you doing?" Elisabeth cried, running after him and peeking into the window, as if hoping to save the ring.
"It doesn't matter," he told her dully. "It was nothing but an old ring."
He walked back towards the stairs and stopped, seeing Sebastian watch him. He stared back.
"Even without it," Ciel added strongly, "I am the head of the Phantomhive family."
He wasn't sure why he was telling Sebastian that, why it felt so important to say that. He saw Sebastian's eyes widen, and then a smile touched his lips, making his expression almost warm.
Ciel basked in it quietly for a moment before turning to Elisabeth again.
He wanted to go into his room and close himself there. He wanted to mourn the absence of something that was more dear to him than he had expected.
But he was the head of the Phantomhives. And if his predecessor could control himself, so could Ciel.
"How long do you intend to cry for?" he asked, as gently as he could force himself to sound.
"B-but—"
"Your face looks terrible," he added, just as warmly, so she would understand he was only teasing. "It is absolutely unsuitable for a lady. I wouldn't want to ask a girl like that to a dance."
"Ciel…" Elisabeth's eyes widened hopefully and Ciel smiled at her, even though his lips ached at the effort.
Sebastian chose this second to start playing the violin, and the sound made something in his chest loosen slightly. Grell joined him almost right away. Ciel expected a disaster but to his astonishment, a pleasant, melodic male voice filled the hall.
A perfect atmosphere for dancing. All he had to do now was remember how he had to move.
"It is customary to forget the bad things at an evening ball and dance, is it not?" he asked mischievously, offering Elisabeth his hand as Sebastian had done to him several endless hours ago. "Lady," he added politely.
He put his hand on Elisabeth's waist in an already familiar gesture. His feet began to move by themselves, and to Ciel's astonishment, it was nearly flawless. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty or worry in him: only firm, deadly calmness. Sebastian continued playing without stopping and though Ciel's heart began to pound from tiredness soon, he forced himself to move, over and over again, smiling a small, fake smile.
Elisabeth deserved to have a good evening. No matter what.
SCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSC
"I'm sorry, Ciel." Elisabeth's eyes were falling close from sleepiness but she gripped his hand tightly, try to stay awake. "I never wanted to hurt you. But you are so sad all the time that I thought… maybe, if I tried to be happy for both of us…"
"Of course," Ciel said, impatient to get her moving. "Like I said, everything is forgotten. I apologise, too."
"No!" Elisabeth bit her lip in frustration. "You don't understand. You think I'm stupid, don't you? That I don't understand, don't see… Ciel, you…. I want you to be happy. And I will do anything to—"
"Lady Elisabeth, we have to go," Grell's voice interrupted them. Elisabeth sighed, but when she looked up, there was a new happy smile on her face.
"This was one of the best evenings in my life," she said softly. "Thank you."
Ciel murmured something customary, watching her disappear outside.
Letting his mask slip was a relief.
Soon, he was already sitting on his bed, waiting for Sebastian to finish dressing him, and exhaustion danced in every cell of his body, filling it with excruciating weight.
"What a horrible day it has been," he murmured. He didn't want to think about it. Not until anger, hurt, and confusion dulled to a bearable extent.
"It seemed as though you were having fun, though," Sebastian remarked casually.
"Don't be stupid," Ciel reached for his ring only to find a bare finger. He flinched, a bitter sensation tightening within him.
How could he forget already? The ring was gone. For good.
"And who is the stupid one?" Sebastian asked. He was calm, but this time, it had an opposite effect on Ciel. A thick knot rose in his throat and he swallowed, trying to hold his emotions back, wanting to scream and rage — or to cry.
He wasn't going to get upset again. He wasn't. Not over some ring.
"It's an important memento to you, is it not?" Sebastian wondered, kneeling in front of him. His hands wrapped around Ciel's palm, making his heart swell with unidentifiable emotion. "Yet you've put on a façade like that in front of Lady Elizabeth…"
His hands slipped away, caressing Ciel's fingers lightly, and it took Ciel a moment to see that on his previously empty digit, the ring was now sitting. Complete. Repaired. Without even the slightest scratch.
He gasped, and his emotions suddenly broke through every barrier he had constructed, flooding him until he felt breathless with them. His eyes welled up with tears and he stared at Sebastian, almost shaking with disbelief, incredulous hope, and gratitude.
Sebastian's lips didn't really move but Ciel could still see the traces of a strange smile on them.
"It is only natural for a butler of the Phantomhives to be able to do this," he said softly. He was still holding Ciel's hands and the moment seemed to stretch, making Ciel's chest feel even fuller. "This ring is something that exists for the sole purpose of being on your finger. Please take care of it."
Sebastian let go, and Ciel mourned the loss of the contact.
"True," he said quietly. "This ring has witnessed the death of its master time and again. My grandfather's, my father's…" his voice thickened at the last word, but the emotions he had expected it to bring never came. Sebastian began to remove his eye-patch carefully and Ciel suddenly wondered if he would do the same once the time of their contract came to an end. How would Sebastian kill him? Would it be a long or a slow death? When all masks fell…
"Eventually," he uttered absentmindedly, "this ring will observe my death."
Sebastian's fingers stilled on his face before disappearing, and Ciel closed his eyes, not wanting to see hunger or anticipation in his gaze. This way, in the darkness, he could imagine his own end. He could pretend that their contract meant more than it actually did.
He didn't know what kept him talking, but he did, the words pouring out, confessing the thoughts he had never allowed himself to dwell upon much.
"This ring has heard the final gasps of the family head again and again. If I close my eyes, I can hear it, too, that heart-wrenching cry. If I threw it away, I would not be able to hear it anymore… That's what I thought. Stupid, really." And it was. Obsessing over a symbol of death that remained unchanged with generations. Imagining how it would look on him when his fingers twitched for the last time. Thinking he would lose the last tangible connection to his family by losing this ring, and both dreading and quietly hoping for it.
He wanted to be strong. He didn't need any morbid symbols of glory and death to prove his position.
But he loved his ring. And he loved his family.
He loved them.
When he dared to look up, he saw Sebastian observing him with detached interest. All softness was gone: now his expression looked hard and dark, as if he couldn't wait for Ciel to shut up and collect himself.
Sebastian and his hatred of emotions. And yet… he'd done so much for him today. The cane. Dancing. Elisabeth. The ring.
Why would he do all that? None of it was a part of the contract. Sebastian loved seeing him humiliated, he loved devising cruel games and winning them. So why today? Was it truly his attempt at making amends?
Ciel wished he could ask him that, but he'd never get a direct answer. He'd only embarrass himself even more.
He crawled into his bed, silently this time, refusing to part with his ring. This night, it would stay on his finger.
Sebastian covered him with a blanket. Then he moved towards the door, and suddenly seeing him leave felt as incomprehensible as losing the ring.
"Sebastian," Ciel murmured. "Stay with me. Until I fall asleep."
There was a short pause and Ciel was grateful again that he couldn't see Sebastian's face. He wasn't sure he would bear watching disgust blossom on it.
They were stuck in an endless loop. Sebastian disliked him putting a distance between them yet the moment Ciel relented, he began to resent his clinginess.
Hopeless. Tomorrow, Ciel would find a balance, but this night, he didn't care.
"My, my," Sebastian drawled, mocking amusement in his voice. "Are you showing me your weak side?"
Ciel ignored a dull pang of hurt, burying his face in the pillow harder.
"It's a simple order," he uttered. Sebastian's footsteps began to approach and Ciel closed his eyes, revelling in the sensation of safety it brought.
"I will be by your side no matter where that may be," Sebastian said, and Ciel drank in his dark promise, basking in it, even knowing what would inevitably follow. "Until the very end," Sebastian's whisper was lulling, and soon, Ciel fell into his night dreams, strange and vivid.
There were no horrors this time. Only dancing.
A/N: James Birdsong, thank you as always for your praise!
, yes, the peace in Ciel and Sebastian's relationship will come… not soon, to say the least, or maybe even never. They are too twisted and will constantly be engaged in a game of some sort. I adore S2 ending because of how many options it opens. Since Sebastian doesn't kill Ciel in the end, he obviously feels something for him because we know on Claude's example that demons can kill their masters without any repercussions. So… yes, that's where the romance tag will start officially, although not right away!
Me, thank you, I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter! Yes, Ciel is very lonely, and while he mostly embraces this state, it doesn't always work like that. He's still young and he still feels too much at times.
Crockett Rocket, thank you, and no worries! I was really busy with work and being free now is a wonderful relief. I'm glad you liked the chapter. You're right, Sebastian always toys with Ciel's trust in pretty unforgivable ways. But in the end, Ciel has no one else to trust to the extent he can trust Sebastian. It really complicates everything. I love cat association! My cat never brings me such things gifts, thank God, but someone like Sebastian would definitely do that :D
22rubens, thank you so much! I was practically bombarded with work, so there was no time for updates( Luckily, I have sort of a break now, so I can dedicate some time to writing. I'm glad you liked the ties between the episodes and the made-up events — I always felt like we're missing many relevant parts in the anime/manga. Like something happens behind the scenes and we can only watch the impact. It makes it exciting to guess what could have happened!
Manon, thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!))
Afys59, thanks, I hope you enjoyed this new chapter as well!
Kannl, thank you! With Book of Circus (as well as Murder and Atlantic), I will be putting it in the middle of S1. It works with the events logically, only a few loose knots will have to be tied.
Guest, yes, Sebastian was in for some groveling here! Though he has his rather demonic ways of doing it. More will be clear in the chapter from his POV, even though it won't be happening soon. Thank you!