Those Gentle Slopes that Lead to Hell

by Severus divides into H

Proud. Unique. Determined. From the second Sebastian sensed Ciel Phantomhive's soul, he realized their contract would be different. He was ready for it. And so he waits. He hungers. He is getting obsessed. He will do anything to devour this soul, and the fragile attachment to the boy that has begun to spread its icy fingers in him will not stop him. He thinks. [SebaCiel].

14. Chapter 14 Try, Try Again

A/N: Hello! Sorry for the delay. Replies are at the end of the chapter :)

Chapter Fourteen: Try, Try Again

When Ciel woke up, he spent some time staring at the ceiling, confused at the delightful warmth that was stirring lazily in his chest.

What had he dreamed about that made him feel so strange? Not particularly happy but not bad, either. It wasn't a nightmare, then, that much was obvious. But what else could there be?

Sebastian entered his room, carrying the usual tea set, and just like that, Ciel remembered.

Dancing. He'd dreamed about dancing. And he didn't dance with Elisabeth, which would have been at least somewhat acceptable — no, his partner was Sebastian.

Ugly heat engulfed his face and Ciel lowered his eyes, practically seething with anger and embarrassment.

What was wrong with him? Who dreamed of something like this! Dancing with a demon, of all things — and it felt good. Almost pleasant. Calm and relaxing, with Ciel having no fear that he would make the wrong movement. On the contrary, he felt warm and protected, and the aftereffects had to be still influencing him because even one look at Sebastian made him flush harder.

Sebastian, in turn, looked intrigued.

"Are you feeling all right, Young Master?" he questioned. Ciel said nothing, watching how he placed the tea on the bedside table before reaching to touch his forehead. Ciel recoiled before he could stop himself and Sebastian's eyebrows began to climb up.

"You look flushed," he noted curiously. "Perhaps you have a fever?"

"No." Ciel finally cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders. Best defence lied in the immediate attack. "It's hot in the room. Did you not ventilate it at all? I asked you to keep the windows open."

"The night was cold. I was only concerned about your health." There was a calculating gleam in Sebastian's eyes now and Ciel positively hated it. If Sebastian had an inkling of what he'd dreamt about, he would be too mortified to ever look at him again.

"Liar," he scoffed, trying to busy himself with the newspaper. "You forgot. Admit it."

Even without looking up, Ciel could sense Sebastian's scrutiny, but he didn't react to it. He wouldn't allow himself any visible loss of control, no more than he'd already demonstrated. The day started awfully as it was, all he could do now was not let it turn into something even worse. Whatever crazy dreams had been plaguing him, they were gone.

They would not keep distracting him and Sebastian would never know about their existence.

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Of course, it was easier said than done. Ciel was pretty sure Sebastian had no idea what was bothering him but he did sense that something was amiss. So he made it his goal to be infuriatingly intrusive, approaching him out of blue to press a cool hand to his forehead, pretending he's checking his temperature, leaning close when serving his meals and constantly reaching to adjust some piece of Ciel's clothing.

This was unbearable, and the worst part was that Ciel couldn't even determine why. He was acting stupidly and clumsily around Sebastian, and while he was moderately certain he managed not to embarrass himself all that much, inwardly, the panic was growing, blossoming into something suffocating and unfamiliar.

He had dropped the fork when Sebastian stepped too closely to pour him more tea during supper. Yes, Ciel masked it by scowling and reprimanding Sebastian for his abruptness, but he knew the actual truth. The spell of clumsiness seemed to activate itself the moment Sebastian was in the proximity.

Maybe he was really coming down with something? Ciel wasn't sure and he hated it. His thoughts and emotions were all in disarray, which was unacceptable for anyone carrying the name of a Phantomhive. His only hope was that tomorrow, all traces of whatever this misfortune was would be gone.

It took a while to fall asleep, and when the new dream descended, Ciel still found himself unprepared.

There was dancing again but this time, there was nothing calming about it. The room was semi-dark and it had neither doors nor windows. It was a tomb with a high ceiling and Ciel was hopelessly locked inside it. Sebastian was holding him by his waist, whirling him in a perfunctory dance, and Ciel's feet moved without his agreement, mirroring Sebastian's steps perfectly.

"Where are we?" he asked. Sebastian didn't reply but his lips twisted in a predatory, malicious grin that sent shivers down Ciel's spine.

"Where are we?" he repeated harshly. "Answer me. It's an order!"

If anything, Sebastian's grin widened. The lights around them flickered and darkened further, and then a hand in a white glove brushed across Ciel's cheek in a mocking caress.

"Your orders hold no power over me," Sebastian drawled. "You are a silly little boy who thinks he can play adult games. I indulge you because it amuses me. I could snap your neck the moment you began to bore me."

Ciel clenched his jaw, wounded and infuriated all at once.

"Tell me something I don't already know," he hissed.

"But that's the irony of it, isn't it?" Sebastian's fingers slipped down his neck and Ciel shivered from cold and from another, stranger feeling. "You know it all and yet you still cling to me. Like a tiny, insignificant, pathetic leech."

"Shut up!" Ciel tried to pull away, hurt and quiet fury spreading through his blood with the speed that almost surprised him. He knew Sebastian was a monster, of course he did, he never denied it. But still… still…

"Do you want me to tell you a secret?" Sebastian's lips hovered next to his ear and Ciel nearly trembled, frustration and unexplainable longing clouding his head in the most aggravating way. "You may hate me but you are incapable of living a day without me. If I asked nicely, you would let me consume your soul even without achieving your revenge, wouldn't you?"

Since there was nothing else he could do, Ciel shrieked from the sheer audacity of it. If Sebastian wasn't holding him, he would have lashed out physically — he would have torn his tongue out for ever daring to talk to him like this, for implying such disgusting lies.

Sebastian laughed at his helplessness and then Ciel woke up, clenching his sheets in impotent fury, a growl of rage still vibrating somewhere in his throat. It took a few minutes for his heart to calm, and when it did, he jumped from the bed and went to the chess table, staring at the half-completed game unseeingly.

Whatever was happening to him, it couldn't go on. Sebastian was supposed to be his strength, not his weakness, and these dreams and behaviour were offensive on numerous levels at once.

He needed to regroup. He needed to escape Sebastian's company — again, only this time, for as many days as it took him to restore his belief in himself. When his mind regained its clarity, he would return.

Calmer already, Ciel took his place on one of the chairs and reached for the knight.

He would win this one. He didn't doubt it.

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"I'm leaving to one of my family's estates. I don't expect my trip to last, so I won't be needing your company."

Sebastian stared at him blankly and Ciel glared, daring him to make any undignified comment.

He knew he was running. He was trying to distance himself, and sure, he may have lost count of how many times he had followed this particular scenario by now, but this one would be different. He would get himself under control once and for all.

Liar, his inner voice whispered, and no matter how much Ciel wanted to scoff at it, he knew these words were justified.

Before, every time he had run from Sebastian, he ended up getting closer to him. He tried to put distance between them again and again but went back on his own promises in a stubbornly self-destructive way.

This couldn't happen now. Not when everything had deteriorated to this disastrous degree, when a rush of completely bewildering feelings crashed into him at random moments. He would leave again but this time, he would come back stronger.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to let you go alone," Sebastian said finally, and immediately, Ciel bristled. The echoes of his dream filled his head, sending shudders of revulsion down his spine.

"You won't tell me what to do," he hissed. "I make decisions here. You obey them."

A sneer on Sebastian's face was both mocking and vexed.

"You cannot spend a day without being attacked or encountering danger," he drawled. "You have already tried leaving without me accompanying you just recently, Young Master. May I remind you how it ended?"

Sensing a hateful flush crawling up his neck, Ciel grimaced.

"This time, everything will be fine," he said. "And I'm not going alone. I'm taking Tanaka with me."

Sebastian's eyebrow twitched, a tell-tale sign of his genuine annoyance, and Ciel grinned in triumph.

"He used to perform his butler duties flawlessly," he continued. "Naturally, you surpass him when it comes to physical strength, but other than that, I think you aren't doing half as well as he did."

It was a lie, and a pretty obvious one at that, but with how Sebastian's face tightened, it still affected him.

Good.

"You can leave now," Ciel said dismissively, waving his hand. "I won't be needing those mediocre services of yours until my return."

Now this was downright petty, but Sebastian began to emanate such black fury that Ciel had to fight the impulse to throw his head back and laugh. This demon was so easy to rattle! And such an obtuse being could make him feel so helpless, both in dreams and in reality? It was ridiculous.

"Have I done something to displease you, Master?" Sebastian asked abruptly, and the unexpectedness of it killed off Ciel's desire to laugh.

"I don't know," he said evenly. "Have you?"

Sebastian hissed. The sound was barely audible but it was there, inhuman and frustrated. If Ciel wasn't so focused on him, attuned to the slightest shifts in his demeanour, he might have missed it, but as it was, a vindictive snarl touched his lips.

Let Sebastian stew in the same frustration Ciel himself was feeling. Let him wonder and try to make sense out of this whole mess, thinking obsessively about their contract, about him, considering different mistakes he could have made and then rejecting each option in his attempts to find an answer to Ciel's behaviour. If Ciel had to suffer, he sure as hell was taking Sebastian down with him.

The reasons for their discomfort might differ but one truth remained unchanged: this way, they both wouldn't get any peace. If Sebastian gained a nasty habit of haunting his dreams, Ciel was going to haunt his reality even when he wasn't there.

"Get out," he ordered pleasantly. Red eyes flashed before regaining their blander colour. Sebastian bowed and left, almost slamming the door behind him. Almost, but not quite.

This time, Ciel did laugh, albeit mirthlessly.

The fact that he wasn't navigating the sea of frustration by himself brought him a semblance of comfort.

Now only if he could get out of this sea without getting wet, everything would be back to normal. Everything would be perfect.

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It was raining. Heavy drops were knocking against his window harshly, the manor was huge and dark, and Ciel felt irrationally, childishly scared.

He had never had to spend the night without Sebastian in the house during the last years. Logically, he understood that nothing could hurt him — he and Tanaka hadn't been followed, so no one would look for him here even if they wished him harm. Still, panic was devouring his mind bit by bit, slowly turning it into a mess of tangled nerves and anxieties.

The floorboard somewhere behind the door creaked and Ciel gripped his blanket tighter, trying to focus on his breathing.

Everything was fine. No one was here apart from him and Tanaka. He had come here to get rid of his strange dependency on Sebastian, not to make it stronger by wishing for his presence!

The thunder split the sky, and the sound was so loud and sudden that Ciel jumped, his breathing turning from calmed to laboured in a second.

Wonderful. Now he was going to let the nature terrify him. When had he regressed into such a pathetic wreck?

Taking another deep, slow breath, Ciel adjusted his pillow and leaned against it, staring at the ceiling.

He had to think and analyse. Then, after he got his answer and determined what his problem was, he would devise a solution to it.

His emotional state had begun to deteriorate when Vanel abducted him. He was crushed by Sebastian's betrayal then, and despite his attempts at forming some distance between them, he failed as always.

In fact, Ciel failed in the most spectacular way. Sebastian managed to drag him into another mind game by being surprisingly nice and considerate.

He protected him against his abductors despite having an order to not interfere. He defended his self-esteem by intimidating the cane-maker. He taught him how to dance, he saved his reputation by not letting him hit Elisabeth, and he repaired Ciel's ring without being asked to do it.

Obviously, all these things messed with Ciel's mind, tricking his subconscious into viewing Sebastian as some… some… what? An even bigger source of support? A friend? That didn't explain why he was suddenly feeling so strange in his presence and where all the awkwardness and clumsiness emerged from.

Ciel cursed, rolling himself into a miserable, befuddled ball.

All right, he could skip giving the label to whatever it was he was experiencing. The most important thing was that something changed and he started to require Sebastian's presence more urgently, to the point where he even dreamed about it.

The second dream was understandable — a saner part of Ciel called him out on his disgusting displays of dependency and mocked his newfound helplessness. But what the hell was the first one about? There was nothing but dancing there! And not in his study room but at the actual ball, with numerous people staring at him and Sebastian with envy.

Another roar of thunder shook the house and Ciel flinched before growling at himself. Putting his head under the pillow, he tried to concentrate again.

It didn't matter what exactly was making him act this way around Sebastian. It started because Sebastian had showered him with unusually warm attention. So, to get back to normal, all Ciel had to do was convince himself that it meant nothing.

Ignore the good parts. Focus on the bad ones.

Sebastian was a monster who enjoyed playing games. He loved winding Ciel up and watching him buy into the lies he fed him. This wasn't an exception. Just another trick.

A pang of something unpleasant in response to these thoughts made Ciel flinch before a grim smile settled on his face.

Ah. Here it was. The root of all problems. A desperate desire to still believe that he meant something for Sebastian, something he had suffered from during the first months of their contract. His mind was ready to rebel at the mere idea of this care not being genuine, and it was so disgusting that Ciel would have gladly abandoned his body and refused to return until it woke up from its delusions.

This was somewhat of a recurring problem, and its impact was growing more intense with each time.

Now that he had identified it, Ciel had to understand how to put an end to it. Ignore the good, focus on the bad again? A doubtful method. He needed something stronger.

The wind joined the rain now, and even though the room wasn't cold, Ciel still shivered.

He fell asleep soon after this, with absolutely zero ideas.

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Tanaka served him breakfast in the morning, watching him with so much worry that for a moment, Ciel felt ashamed for having dragged him here.

"It's delicious," he said politely, nodding at his plate. "I have missed your cooking."

Tanaka let out a soft laugh before shaking his head.

"No need to flatter me, Young Master. It is difficult, if not impossible, to find a cook better than your butler."

His mood instantly soured and Ciel clenched his fork, staring at his eggs darkly.

He hadn't come up with any solution to his problem. He could almost hear Sebastian's mocking laughter, promising him failure after failure in his attempts at resistance.

"Young Master?" Tanaka's voice snapped Ciel out of his thoughts. "Do I have your permission to ask a question?"

"Of course," Ciel put his fork away, surprised. "What is it?"

"Why did you want me to come with you? I am most appreciative of this honour but it's been years since you travelled with me. You were a small child when it happened last. I thought for sure you would put your trust into your new servants."

Ciel would have cut off anyone who dared to question him about his motivations but Tanaka… Tanaka had a special status. And his question made sense. Why had he taken him on this trip indeed? Why not Bard or Finnie, or Mey-Rin?

The answer was startlingly simple, lying just on the surface.

"I think it was for nostalgia purposes." Ciel tried to keep his actual thoughts inside but the truth was already making its way up, falling from his tongue before he could stop it. "I wanted to remember who I was before." Before his eleventh birthday. Before Sebastian. Before the burden of such dependency fell on his shoulders.

But maybe he was approaching it from the wrong angle. He shouldn't have tried to hide from Sebastian and his conflicted feelings in the happy, unburdened past. No, if he wanted to overcome a filthy and unexplainable longing for a demon, he would have to use something equally filthy as his cure.

"The past can never be returned, Master," Tanaka said quietly. "It's best not to dwell there."

Ideally, yes, but his past was the only thing Ciel could use to win this fight against himself, even if he had to do it the hard way.

He'd acted like a child by taking Tanaka with him in some half-conscious hope to relive easier times, to pretend that Sebastian didn't exist and the problem would disappear if Ciel simply ran. No wonder he hadn't succeeded. What he needed was hate. Fury. The fuel that had kept him going for so long and that seemed to lose its potency because of Ciel growing soft and mushy, lost in feelings that had nothing to do with his initial goals.

His second dream was truer than he had imagined. He had to get rid of these silly thoughts and feelings by reminding himself what he was fighting for and why.

That night, when Ciel went to bed, the storm began to rage again, but this time, he took no notice of it. Buried under his thick blanket, staring at the ceiling, he forced himself to remember.

He remembered his birthday, how his excited anticipation had turned into fear once he saw his dog dead, bleeding out on the floor, a fighter till his last second. He remembered the blind terror that gripped him when he noticed his parents, together even in death, his predece— his father holding his mother, as if trying to protect her even now, even after everything was long over.

He remembered Tanaka, kind and strong, trying to help him but getting stabbed in the back. He remembered being grabbed, and hit, and dragged somewhere, crying from horror and pain and indignity. He recalled his whimpers and mindless cries for his parents — how pathetic was that? To cry for someone who you knew was already dead.

Ciel's heart began to pound in dread from the next memories but he delved into them with a strange, masochistic fervency, holding onto images of every touch, every grunt and stabbing pain that tore his body apart until he barely sensed it.

Vomit threatened to undo his resolve. A bitter liquid rushed through his throat to his mouth and Ciel swallowed it, then did it again and again, until he was almost choking. Thankfully, it retreated eventually, and he went back to the beginning of his memory lane, trying to remember as many details as he could, to savour each degrading and terrifying moment.

At some point, his mind decided to shut down, unable to cope with his indifference towards its signals of distress. Ciel fell asleep, and there was no Sebastian in his dreams, no dancing. His memories entwined, gaining more violent shapes, and Ciel's voice was hoarse from screaming when he woke up.

His hair was slick with sweat, his body trembling from the aftershocks, but it was meaningless in comparison to the state of his mind.

He was brimming with darkness and revulsion. Flames of rage were licking his insides greedily, fuelling hatred so strong, it was all-consuming, lethal, making him crave revenge with desperation that couldn't be compared to anything else he ever felt.

Sebastian and Ciel's strange reactions to him? His embarrassment, his hopes for closeness?

He could laugh from the triviality of it. Had he truly been concerned with all these childish notions just yesterday? Had he really fled just because he felt emotionally compromised?

It was nothing. Nothing. It wasn't even worth consideration. Ciel would still be more careful now, knowing the possible repercussions of getting too close, but he wasn't going to let some infantile feelings become an obstacle again. He didn't need Sebastian as a person, he needed him as a demon.

Everything was all right now. He was himself again, and so he could finally come home.

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When Ciel laid his eyes on Sebastian, something in his chest twitched, but the feeling was muted and faded, nothing like it had been before. Darkness was still circulating in his blood, solidifying his priorities and keeping them in place, so he nodded shortly in acknowledgement. Now that he was in control again, he had no need to annoy Sebastian, at least no more than he would do normally. Time for pettiness had passed.

"Did anything happen while we were away?" he asked, and Sebastian stared at him like he was a particularly confusing toy that made no sense at all.

"No, my lord," he replied slowly. "Everything was well. A letter from the Queen arrived, though — it is waiting for you in your study room."

"Good," Ciel moved towards the stairs. "I'm going to check it. Prepare something sweet for me to drink."

Sebastian didn't react and Ciel fought the impulse to look back to see what kept him silent. Thankfully, he was no longer a blinded, stumbling idiot, so he got to his destination without succumbing to that itch.

His study room looked sparkling clean. Sure, Sebastian had always cleaned everything to perfection, but this time, he had certainly outdone himself. Ciel was reluctantly impressed.

The sight of the letter sent a rush of anticipation through his body, but as he read it, the enthusiasm faded.

Dead prostitutes. Severe mutilations. Unknown killer.

Not that it wasn't interesting but it also wasn't the case Ciel would have selected for himself. The choice of victims was everything: it determined who they would have to talk to and on what areas in London the investigation would have to be focused. Prostitutes murdered in such a way probably meant interrogating the worst of the worst.

With a sigh, Ciel pushed the letter away and leaned against the back of his armchair, closing his eyes.

They would have to go to London today, then. At least he was in a proper shape for investigation. But where to start? The details provided in the letter were gruesome but lacking. Nothing specific that would help him identify the areas that had to be covered first.

There was a knock on the door. Without waiting for his answer, Sebastian entered, with a cautious expression but a confident tilt to his lips.

"I have prepared hot white chocolate with Indian salt for you," he announced, and Ciel blinked.

"With salt?" he repeated. Hot white chocolate was something he had never tasted before, and in theory, it sounded delicious. But salt?

"It balances out the taste of sweetness," Sebastian placed the tray in front of him, carefully handing him the cup. "Please try it. I hope it will be to your satisfaction."

Sebastian went out of his way to prepare some unique dishes only when he was trying to make up for something. Had something new happened or was he still at a loss regarding Ciel's behaviour?

No matter. There was no reason to think of such things.

Taking an experimental sip, Ciel couldn't help but let out a pleased noise. This was indeed delicious. The taste was so rich and warm that he wanted to lose himself in it for a moment, forgetting about the world at least temporarily.

When he looked up, Ciel almost choked, seeing how intently Sebastian was watching him. His gaze was dark and unfamiliar, and Ciel couldn't interpret it for the life of him. If he had to take a guess, he would probably think Sebastian was one step from murdering him. Would he look at him like this at the last moments of their contract?

"I will drink it," Ciel said stiffly, narrowing his eyes when Sebastian continued to stand motionlessly. What was wrong with him? "You can leave now. I have to take care of some letters and then we will go to London. Make sure everything is ready."

Something gleeful flashed in Sebastian's eyes.

"Another case, then?" he asked. Quickly, his look morphed into one of indifference, and Ciel relaxed. This one was familiar.

"Yes. I will tell you the details later, after I decide what we are going to do first."

"Of course, Master," Sebastian bowed, sending him an artificial smile. Then he walked out. Ciel waited for the door to close before delving into his delicious drink with renewed enthusiasm, shivering with pleasure at its hot sweetness.

This was the second best thing after revenge that was worth selling his soul for.

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Ciel spent the whole ride to London pondering over the letter and studying its contents shrewdly. It offered nothing but a detailed description of body mutilations and brief mentions of victims. The latest had been killed just yesterday and Scotland Yard was clueless to the point where even the Queen took note.

This was what they would probably do first. Go to Scotland Yard and make sure they had nothing. Extract information if there was any. Ciel really didn't want to go to the Undertaker, so Randall and his useless dogs it was.

London was overflowing with people. Ciel watched them sourly from the window and when Sebastian finally stopped the carriage, he wrinkled his nose. How could anyone investigate cases when all possible evidence was immediately destroyed by clueless passers-by and careless drivers? And why were there so many of them, anyway?

Maybe it was his imagination, but even as he stepped out on the territory of his London estate, he could almost hear the incessant buzzing coming from the streets.

"London is far too crowded," Ciel grumbled.

"This is the season when most aristocrats make the move from their countryside manors to their townhouses in London," Sebastian noted, opening the door before him. Ciel hummed in acknowledgement. Slipping into their usual banter somehow felt natural despite the weirdness of the last several days.

"The season, really?" he asked with a sigh. He'd never paid much attention to the behaviour patterns of high society. It was excruciatingly boring and not worth an effort. "Honestly, it's like these people have nothing better to do with their time."

"But it may be a good change of pace for you to get away from the manor at times," Sebastian remarked. His voice was pleasant but Ciel could sense something crueller underlying it. "Those four will not be around, so you should be able to live peacefully for a while. Isn't that so?"

'Those four'? Since when did Sebastian drag Tanaka into his servants-related complaints? And since when was Tanaka anything but peaceful?

Strange. Ciel wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Peacefully, hm?" he uttered neutrally. Sebastian seemed to respect Tanaka — at least he treated him with particular politeness. What could bring this unusually-worded question on, then? Had Ciel's decision to leave with Tanaka truly offended him to this extent? Did he want some kind of reassurance that he was still Ciel's favourite servant?

Probably not. This was completely ridiculous and too disturbingly out of character for him. Then again, Sebastian could be so petulant sometimes, it was almost funny. He clearly hated having to share his meal with anyone else or being seen as anything less but perfect. Not that it made sense but then again, Ciel wasn't a demon. Who knew what kind of thought processes were happening in their heads?

His dark amusement was shattered the second they opened the door to the room.

It was thrashed, utterly and horrifyingly. Even worse, Madam Red, Lau, and Grell were inside, each focused on their own part of destruction.

The universe must truly hate him. Ciel supposed he could say good-bye to any hopes of having a quiet investigation now.

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The day that had come so close to being ruined by the unexpected presence of three unwelcome visitors was saved only by its early ending. In less than two hours, Ciel was back at his London house, locked safely in his office, away from each of those loud sources of annoyance.

"You lied about interrogating all people from the list," he said flatly. Sebastian pressed his hand to his chest in a gesture of fake sadness.

"Do you truly doubt me so much, Young Master?" he sighed theatrically. "By now, I was certain you've grown to trust my abilities at interrogation."

Ciel couldn't help by snort.

He enjoyed the stunned and awed faces of Madam Red and Grell when they saw Sebastian leave the carriage in his dramatic and reckless fashion, jumping straight out of it, as well as when he demonstrated the seemingly endless list of people whose alibi he'd apparently checked in under half an hour. It was funny, and while Ciel was reluctant to admit it, it was impressive. In his desire to show off, Sebastian brought him excellent results.

However, it was also a lie.

"Even you couldn't torture the information out of them all in less than fifteen minutes," he pointed out dryly, and a genuine surprise flashed in Sebastian's eyes.

"My," he tsked finally, his voice amused, "you are rather bloodthirsty today, Master. To think that torture is the only way of extracting information from someone…"

"Well, the idea that you actually charmed them to make them talk is even less credible since it would require half a day at the least. I don't buy it. How did you check them all really?"

Sebastian smirked, so pleased with himself that Ciel rolled his eyes again. How old was Sebastian again? Maybe he was a child by demons' standards. That would explain his bewildering and exasperating urge to make everyone admire him.

"I checked a few alibis. With the rest, I merely looked at them," Sebastian confessed at last. "Their souls speak louder than their words ever could. None of them was putrid enough to commit these murders. All bland. Nothing special."

Technically, this wasn't about him, but the insult smarted and Ciel stiffened.

"My soul isn't putrid!" he protested. Or was it? He couldn't really know. After all, if Sebastian viewed putrid as something special, something opposite to blandness, it meant Ciel's soul had to be disgusting enough to attract his attention. The word 'putrid' in particular made him bristle, though.

Sebastian fell silent, staring at him like he was a puzzle to be solved.

"Of course not," he said slowly. "I wasn't talking about you, Young Master, was I?"

Ciel flushed, suddenly embarrassed. Why had he spoken at all?

"You picked my soul out of everyone else's and deemed it worthy enough to arrange a contract with me," he muttered. "If the soul has to be putrid to be "special" to you, then obviously mine is. I am not above murder, as you know it, so I imagine your description applies to me as well."

Sebastian continued to stare at him before suddenly laughing. The sound was so startled, so entertained and genuine that Ciel immediately forgot all about his embarrassment, feeling how biting anger replaced it, heating his blood. He despised being laughed at.

"There is nothing funny here," he hissed. Thankfully, Sebastian shut up after that, but his eyes were still amused and somehow even more intent.

"Your soul could never be putrid," he uttered, and a strange, warm ball of energy buried itself in Ciel's stomach. "Committing a murder and engaging in torture don't necessarily make the soul desirable to demons. We all have different tastes but in a general sense, for the soul to command attention, it must be light."

"Light!" This was probably even worse than putrid. "I don't have a light soul, don't be ridiculous!" After everything he had done, there was no way he was made of goodness or something equally childish. Lizzy had a light soul. Madam Red had a light soul — not him, never him.

Sebastian lowered his head but Ciel could see a smile stretching the corners of his lips in a weird, trembling way, as if it was done unwillingly.

"You don't," he agreed. "Your soul is a mixture of many unique contradictions. No matter how many murders you commit, you will not achieve the level of mindless cruelty and petty depravity that Jack the Ripper or the likes of him have. So don't concern yourself over it, my lord. You do not have competition."

Ciel gaped, unable to believe his ears, before an ugly splash of red spread across his cheeks. Worse than that, an already familiar and dreaded pang of undefinable sensation echoed through him, warning him that he was slipping again.

The Sebastian problem was more prominent and resistant than he had initially believed.

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat. The topic had to be changed, right now, and his feelings had to be taken under control. "Why do you think Jack the Ripper kills women? Simply to take the uterus of his victims?"

A gleam of new interest lit Sebastian's eyes.

"You are confident that he is a man, then?" he murmured. Ciel hesitated.

"The violence is excessive," he said carefully. "I don't see a woman inflicting it. You yourself told me that Viscount Druitt is our primary suspect. He's a man. And even if the murderer was a woman, why would she take the uterus?"

"Why would a man take it?" Sebastian countered.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" At Sebastian's intrigued look, Ciel frowned. "It's done out of perversion. The man must use it for depraved purposes."

"Depraved?" Sebastian's face was blank and Ciel nearly growled. Must he spell it out for him?

"Sexual," he spat in disgust. "This is what men do, don't they? Uterus must be a part of the sexual act that they want to recreate."

Sebastian's eyes widened. Then he turned his back to him unexpectedly and his shoulders began to shake.

"What?!" Ciel exclaimed, incensed. "Why are you laughing again?"

Sebastian lingered, and when Ciel was ready to explode, he finally faced him again, mirth still lightening his face.

"Forgive me, Young Master. However, I sincerely doubt this is the reason why the killer takes the uteruses," he said solemnly. "I would say that the theory of this part being used for dark rituals makes most sense at this point."

"That's because you are a demon. You see dark rituals in everything."

"No, I don't."

"You thought dead mice left near the front door was a ritual worth investigation. Turned out you just fattened the local cats until they decided to bring you gifts."

Sebastian lit up at the reminder.

"I had no idea cats did that at the time," he argued. Ciel waved his hand dismissively.

"It's not a ritual. But I agree that the killer must have medical knowledge. Could it be a uterine transplant, then? Is such a thing even possible?"

"I believe so," Sebastian said very slowly. Ciel narrowed his eyes in response, catching the tiniest tinge of uncertainty in his words.

"You have no idea, do you?" he accused.

"I do. I performed one of such surgeries myself some fifty years ago."

This sounded even less believable. Ciel continued to stare, analysing each change on Sebastian's face.

"You've just made it up," he announced finally. Sebastian's lips twitched and Ciel let out a small laugh. "I thought so," he added gleefully. "You can't lie to me about such things."

"I did perform a similar surgery once," Sebastian noted. "It just wasn't what you would call successful."

Something in the way Sebastian said it made Ciel chuckle again, and for a second, this shared moment of mutual amusement made the room brighter and the air sweeter. The warning bell began to ring in his head almost right away, though, hissing at him to back off, and his smile evaporated.

"Viscount Druitt," Ciel said coldly. "Check him again, more thoroughly this time. Look at his alibi, not simply his soul, and if he matches the description still, find a way for me to meet him. Is that understood?"

Sebastian reacted to his changed tone: his expression went colder as well as he slipped into a perfect butler persona.

"Yes, my lord," he said politely. "With your permission, I will start after finishing supper preparations."

"All right. Let me know if you learn something."

Reading his words as dismissal they were, Sebastian bowed and left the room. Ciel allowed himself to exhale quietly.

There was no time for distractions. He had to work. Work was everything.

Work was salvation.

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After Ciel's self-therapy, he knew he could expect nightmares upon nightmares, vivid and inevitably repetitive. The awakened memories hissed like most vicious of snakes in his mind, eager to bite, hurt, and maim. Ciel didn't scream this time, though — the return to the real world went smoothly, but even before he opened his eyes, he could tell something was wrong. It was like the darkness had followed him back from his dreams because he could palpably sense it around him, dangerous and suffocating, anticipating his awakening.

He blinked, trying to adjust his vision and figure out what the shapes around him were. As he turned his head, he froze.

A monster was standing near his bed. Abnormally tall, feathered, with grinning sharp fangs and red eyes and—

Oh. This was his monster. But what was Sebastian doing in his room, looking like that? This seemed like a new demonic form. Ciel didn't remember seeing it before even though somehow, he could still tell this was Sebastian.

Maybe he was still dreaming? Because usually, Sebastian didn't make him freeze with fear like this. His darkness had never tasted as something this pungent and vile — it was familiar, yes, but also terrifying.

Ciel closed his eyes, then opened them again. The monster didn't disappear — it kept standing, its stare fixed on him, hungry and deadly and hateful.

"The faster you run," it whispered, "the more pleasure I will derive from catching you."

Ciel sucked the poisoned air in sharply, tightening his grip on the blanket. His heart was beating somewhere in his throat, cold sweat slowly making his night gown wet and unpleasant, and the unexplainable fear was growing, expanding into full-blown panic. But damn if he let himself show it.

"I didn't allow you to enter my room without permission," Ciel managed to push out. His voice didn't tremble as much as he'd feared it would. "Get out."

The monster stared, and its features were so inhuman that Ciel couldn't tell what it was thinking at all. Stubbornly, he closed his eyes again, willing the creature before him to melt away, and when he looked the next time, it was gone.

Shaking his head slowly, Ciel pulled the blanket higher and tried to stabilise his breathing.

Had this visit really happened? Or was it a dream, after all, a strange continuation of a nightmare?

He found his calming rhythm soon, and though his heart kept thrashing against his ribcage wildly, Ciel let it lull himself to sleep. He would seek answers tomorrow.

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Sebastian acted like nothing had happened in the morning. For a while, Ciel watched him, trying to piece together every meaningful detail, but in the end, he was left unsatisfied.

Sebastian could be a good actor when he wanted to. His façade was immaculate and Ciel couldn't manipulate him into answering his unspoken questions no matter how hard he tried.

"You want me to visit his house?"

"Viscount Druitt is frequently seen in the company of promiscuous young women who he meets at his own parties. Some of them are known to have disappeared."

"You re-checked his alibi, then? For every case?"

"I did, my lord. He has none."

"You left only after I went to sleep. Normally, other people sleep at this time, too, and you had to interrogate at least some of them personally. What, did you spend the whole night visiting different houses and waking everyone up, asking them to answer a few questions?"

Sebastian didn't take the bait, choosing to bypass it again.

"The crowd he interacts with tends to stay awake," he replied smoothly. "Don't worry, Young Master. I assure you that the facts I've gathered are valid."

Making any conclusions was impossible when Sebastian was set so firmly against indulging him. Asking him directly would be embarrassing if it turned out that Ciel had indeed dreamt it all.

He had to think logically, then. Why would Sebastian want to intimidate him at night? If his monstrous form had been a reality, not a dream, he was evidently frustrated with Ciel's behaviour. Yes, technically, that nightmarish version told him he enjoyed the chase, but the whole thing screamed of the opposite.

Whatever the truth was, he wasn't going to remain unresponsive. If Sebastian was there at night and this was his move, Ciel would make a counter-move. And if he had imagined it… well, then he'd imagined it. No skin off his back.

"I will think about the party," he said. "And I have another task for you."

"Of course, Master," Sebastian said, a small, ambiguous smile on his lips. "What would you like me to do?"

"When we return home, I want you to hire other teachers. I see no point in you continuing to spend time on educating me at this stage. Others can do it just as well."

That wiped the smile from Sebastian's face fast.

"Oh?" he asked evenly. "May I ask why you made this decision?"

"Well…" Ciel grinned gleefully. "With how often you complain about our servants, including Tanaka now, you must dedicate more time to household duties. My education should no longer be your concern."

A whole range of complex emotions changed into one another in Sebastian's eyes. Ciel managed to identify frustration and astonishment, but to his annoyance, he got lost shortly after that.

Sebastian regrouped quickly. A dangerous, cunning grin crossed his mouth as he bowed.

"It will be done," he almost purred. "I shall find the best teachers for you, my lord. Would you like me to concoct a convincing disguise for you for the Viscount's party?"

"No. I'll take care of it myself." With how Sebastian had phrased it, he was clearly planning something unsavoury. "Get an invitation for me. That will be all."

Sebastian didn't seem bothered with Ciel's rejection of his offer.

"I will get to it right away," he promised. Then he dissipated in the thin air, just like the nightly creature had done, and Ciel almost jumped from surprise.

"I told you not to do that!" he yelled angrily. He had no idea if Sebastian could hear him but it didn't matter. No, what mattered was the reason for this small act of disobedience. Was Sebastian hinting him at something, deliberately creating a parallel between what he'd done at night and now? Or was he merely in the mood to be annoying?

Who could tell.

Exasperated but unable to deny a pang of excitement he felt from this new game with unclear rules, Ciel left the study, walking back to his room. While he wouldn't let Sebastian come up with a disguise for him, he did have to think of something, and he had to do it quick. Going as himself would be disastrous — Viscount Druitt would recognise his name and he'd grow more reserved and suspicious, regardless of whether he was their killer or just a person with dubious morals.

A strange, muffled sound reached his ears and Ciel stopped, frowning. What was that? It reminded him of…

Crying. Someone was crying.

The sound repeated itself and Ciel stared at the door it was coming from, a vague feeling of horror and embarrassment quickly spreading through his body.

It was Madam Red's room. And now that he understood it, he could identify the voice as hers as well. But why was she crying? Ciel had never witnessed her doing that before. Why now, in his house, just as he was passing by and couldn't let himself ignore it?

Reluctantly, he raised his fist and knocked on the door. The crying stopped immediately.

"Come in," a wary voice replied. Taking a deep breath, Ciel walked inside, cringing as he saw Madam Red's wet cheeks and reddened eyes.

"Ciel?" she straightened, quickly wiping the tears away. "I thought this was… what are you doing here?"

"I heard you—" Ciel swallowed, unsure if it was polite to say such a thing aloud. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Maybe not exactly, but it's nothing for you to worry about," Madam Red tried to smile. "It happens sometimes. Being in this house reminds me of your parents so much… too much. I wouldn't trade these memories for anything but they can be so excruciating that they crush me. I find myself unable to breathe in this house."

"Well…" Ciel paused, at a loss. What could he say to this? Madam Red had never been emotional about serious things. She enjoyed dresses, parties, and drinks, she rarely displayed any other emotion — in fact, the only two times she did it was when Ciel had just returned after his abduction and recently, when they argued about the portrait.

Why had he come here at all? He should have pretended he didn't hear anything.

But this wouldn't feel right either.

He hated these situations.

"Forget about it!" Madam Red exclaimed suddenly, a familiar excited blaze entering her gaze, and Ciel couldn't hold off a sigh of relief. "Better tell me what Sebastian has found out. Do you have a suspect already? Any progress?"

"Yes." He'd never think discussing a murderer of prostitutes with his aunt would feel this good. Then again, anything was better than the scene he had witnessed before this. "Viscount Aleistor Chamber. He doesn't have an alibi and he's known for his dubious dealings. He's throwing a party that Sebastian and I are going to attend, but I haven't decided what disguise I should use. I can't go as myself, but maybe as someone's servant? We could hire a prostitute and try to pass her for a naïve, ignorant lady that—"

"Ciel, you shouldn't speak of such things! Boys your age do not hire prostitutes!"

"It's for a case!" Ciel snapped defensively. He hated being interrupted. "And what, do you have any other ideas?"

Madam Red grinned as if he had just given her the biggest gift of all.

"Oh, I do," she drawled. "Trust me, nephew, with what I have in mind, no one is going to recognise you."

"Tell me, then," Ciel stepped closer as a light flame of curiosity began to awaken inside him. Madam Red was inventive, it was impossible to deny it, but what could she come up with for this kind of occurrence?

One minute later, he regretted asking.

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Learning how to walk. How to sit. How to smile. It all was absolutely maddening and Ciel wanted nothing more but to kill Madam Red for suggesting this craziness, to kill Grell for being her servant, Lau for being here, and Sebastian for enjoying it the way he did, the bastard.

"No man is going to approach you if you smile like this, Young Master," Sebastian sighed, but two small creases at the corners of his lips said it all: he was having fun. "Try again. It's not that difficult, just repeat after me." He smiled widely and so artificially that Ciel's skin crawled.

"If I smile like this, I will look like a harlot," he hissed, and oh, this did wipe out Sebastian's grin pretty quick. He stared at Ciel with narrowed, calculating eyes, as if trying to understand whether he was being insulted, and Ciel smirked at him. Let him guess.

"Yes, just like this!" Madam Red shouted suddenly, and Ciel almost fell of his chair. "Do it again!"

"I can't smile when you want me to!"

"Honestly, what's so difficult!" his aunt huffed. "Stretch your lips and that's all. I do it all the time."

Growling, Ciel obeyed. The resulting silence wasn't particularly reassuring.

"Young Master, if you could look less murderous, it would be more palatable," Sebastian commented finally.

"No!" Ciel stood up from the table, glaring at them. "That's it. Let's move on to the next point."

"But Ciel, all ladies must smile at the ball..."

"Then I'll be the first unsmiling lady! Forget it, I told you I'm not going to waste my time on this again. Now, was there anything else you wanted to teach me? Any more of these useless, worthless rituals that all females must follow for some strange reason?"

Madam Red opened her mouth to reply but Sebastian spoke first.

"I believe we have covered everything sufficiently — apart from smiling, of course, but I suppose some obstacles are destined to be impassable. Now, it is time for dressing."

Ciel frowned, suspicious at the renewed glint in Sebastian's eyes. The mere idea of dressing as a woman was distasteful, but with how Sebastian was staring at him, he felt like he was missing something. What could be worse than the dress?

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The word 'humiliating' couldn't cover it. The word 'undignified' didn't even stand close. In fact, Ciel had no idea how to call the strange and terrible feeling that enveloped his body in a tight, heated lock, breaking his concentration and infecting him with hateful confusion.

When Sebastian told him he was going to put on a corset on him, Ciel didn't really argue. He expected it to be another part of a dress that they would be done with in a minute. In retrospect, he should have asked more questions, especially after seeing the amused stares Sebastian and Madam Red exchanged.

At first, he simply felt uncomfortable. Madam Red was chattering in the background, Sebastian was arranging the corset with all its endless laces, and Ciel was waiting, half-naked, angry and embarrassed at what he had agreed to. When Madam Red told him about her idea, he was reluctant to accept it, but she looked so excited, a pleasant change after all those tears. Overall, her plan of using him as a bait, albeit in a different form, made sense, too. Ciel said "yes'" before properly thinking it over, so now he was paying the price.

When Sebastian started actually putting the corset on, closing it around him and tightening the laces, a strange clot of humiliation, physical discomfort, and heat delved deeply into Ciel's skin, making it unpleasantly sensitive and almost fervent.

In a strange way, this reminded him of the state he had worked so hard to rid himself of. His efforts had brought the results he needed — his brain stopped getting all mushy, but his body seemed reluctant to follow suit, choosing this horrible moment to suddenly get attuned to the sound of Sebastian's voice and his impersonal, careful touches.

"That's too tight," Ciel complained finally, cringing from how high his voice sounded.

"The corsets are supposed to be tight," Sebastian retorted, and Ciel shivered before growing angry again. This definitely felt too strange and he definitely didn't like it.

"Not like this! And why are you tying it from—" Another complaint died on his lips when his brain caught up with it.

Having Sebastian stand behind him when he felt so strangely vulnerable was uncomfortable, but on the other hand, if he were lacing this damn corset and staring at him at the same time… this would be even worse.

The next pull made Ciel gasp.

"Too much!" he wheezed out. "I feel like my insides are about to come out!"

"That is impossible, Young Master. Please, be patient."

It was easy for him to talk, he wasn't the one being suffocated!

This was torture. Absolute torture. And goosebumps still ran across his skin every time Sebastian's fingers brushed against it, which felt even more intolerable because of how perplexing it was.

He already couldn't breathe and Sebastian showed no signs of stopping. If Madam Red wasn't here, Ciel would suspect that he was being killed in this rare and deliberately debasing way.

"Sebastian!" he squeaked finally.

"Please hold on for a bit longer," as always, Sebastian's voice was falsely soothing. "You'll grow accustomed to it."

"I said they're coming out!"

"I told you, there's no girl whose insides were pushed out by a corset of all things."

Ciel gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the groans of his body. Did females really wear this torture device on a daily basis? It was unbelievable.

Could be an interesting way to extract information from someone, though. He would have to look into it later.

Sebastian leaned closer, dealing with yet another row of laces, and his breathe tickled the back of Ciel's neck. He shivered violently before closing his eyes in embarrassment.

He had achieved such progress. He'd restored his control and it was working pretty well, but Sebastian just had to get even further into his personal space, threatening to undo everything.

No. He wouldn't let him. Maybe Sebastian was doing it deliberately, maybe not, but in any case, Ciel's mind was stronger than his rebelling emotional side and his confused body.

"I think that's tight enough," Madam Red intervened suddenly, and Ciel would have sighed in relief if he could still inhale. "He looks just like I did when I was his age! Now, let's try that dress…"

Why had he agreed to this again?

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When it was finally time for the party to begin, Ciel was ready to run to Aleistor Chamber and beg him for several private moments together. If Sebastian dared to adjust even one more element of his idiotic outfit, if Madam Red told even one more crude joke, he would explode, and nothing would stop him from sending them all to hell along with their outrageous plan.

He was so exhausted and pissed off that he didn't even worry about having to force himself to flirt with their suspect. After everything that happened today, after this week in general, almost every other obstacle seemed bearable. That was the only good thing about it.

"Are you truly prepared to do what it takes?" Sebastian asked as they were slowly making their way forward through the brightly-dressed crowd. Ciel kept gazing at his shoes warily, wondering if they were going to crumble under him.

"Don't ask stupid questions," was all he said. However his interaction with Chamber went, it wouldn't be worse than his day with Lyndon, with the way Sebastian had abandoned him then. The victims of Jack the Ripper weren't violated, so Chamber's interest was more practical. It had to be.

"First, we must find the Viscount," Sebastian announced. Ciel wanted to turn around and glance at him — Sebastian rarely appeared in public in his teacher persona, but the thoughts of his own outfit distracted him.

No one should recognise him when he looked like this. Many faces of the present guests were familiar, yes, but Ciel didn't have close interactions with them, so it was doubtful that they would figure out who he was. Come to think of it, Elisabeth was the only source of danger, and she wasn't in London at the moment.

He should have known better than to think that this nightmare would ever end.

"Oh, that dress is so cute!" Elisabeth's shrilly voice was loud enough to subdue everyone else's and Ciel froze. Torn between horror and resignation, he turned around and nearly groaned.

Of course. Of course she was here. How could she not be? The entire universe had conspired against him. The only comfort was that Sebastian looked just as unsettled.

"While there is still a chance…" he murmured, wrapping his arm around Ciel's shoulders, and Ciel nearly stumbled. Was it normal for a teacher to touch his student in such a way? For everyone to see?

"That dress right there is the cutest!" Elisabeth announced even more loudly, and Ciel knew whose dress she meant without even looking.

"Let us head that way," Sebastian gripped him tighter, dragging him forward insistently. Ciel's heart was almost breaking out of his chest, his hands shaking from adrenaline. He was always prepared to overcome his irrational fears, to do what was needed to resolve the case, but to risk the name of his family like this? If Elisabeth saw him, she wouldn't keep quiet. She would start shrieking and drawing everyone's attention to him.

Why hadn't he clarified it with Madam Red beforehand? She must have known that Elisabeth was invited. She always knew such trivial things, why hadn't she told him?

And Sebastian. He appeared truly concerned but Ciel knew he couldn't trust it one bit. Sebastian was acting strangely from the start of this case and due to his own bewildering state, Ciel temporarily lost the ability to read him. One thing was clear to him: Sebastian was in the middle of his petulant, malicious plotting, and it could result in a variety of different outcomes.

Madam Red's boisterous laughter was as loud as Elisabeth's enthusiastic yells, and Ciel cringed when she saw her resting in the armchair, raising her knees in an absolutely indecent manner.

Were all his relatives this embarrassing? They were completely tarnishing their family's name. At least they weren't the Phantomhives. Then again, if he was caught in his current state of dress, he would surpass even their level of indignity.

"She's clearly forgotten herself and is enjoying the party," Ciel spat. How could any person go from being utterly miserable to laughing like they had no care in this world?

"Oh, there you are!" Elisabeth's exclamation hit him right in the back and Ciel dashed towards Sebastian without thinking, blinded by his panic of being discovered. Before he could even reach him, Sebastian's fingers wrapped around his elbow tightly, searing his skin even through the gloves.

"This way, my Lady," he uttered, and before Ciel could blink, he was being dragged again, his fake hair wavering dangerously, ready to fall from under his stupid pink hat.

If so much wasn't at stake, Ciel could even enjoy this adventure… maybe. As it was, everything he was doing was disgraceful: first coming here looking like this, then being hunted by Elisabeth; led by Sebastian like a foolish child that was unable to go anywhere by himself without getting lost.

They stopped at the balcony and Ciel tried to catch his breath. Ten minutes into the party and he already felt like collapsing. What a magnificent start.

"Why does this kind of things always have to happen to me?" he groaned. At least his hair was still in place.

"Viscount Druitt looks beautiful as ever this evening!" an unfamiliar voice gushed, and all complaints left Ciel's head right away. Carefully, he peered back into the ballroom and saw a tall, blond-haired man twirling around with a dreamy expression on his face.

"So that's the Viscount Druitt," he concluded. Suddenly, the idea of going up to talk to this man seemed somewhat weird. Wouldn't he be able to realise that Ciel wasn't a girl?

But now wasn't the time to worry about it. They had to act fast.

"Come on," Ciel stepped forward confidently, knowing that Sebastian would follow. He had a vague idea of what to say to Chamber already. If he made himself look naïve and eager for attention, a guilty man would surely jump at the chance. Would he try to butcher him here, though, or would he attempt to transport him somewhere? That remained to be seen.

Before Ciel could make another step, the musicians suddenly shifted and began to play, the notes of familiar music enveloping the room, encouraging everyone to dance. The guests obeyed happily, leaving Ciel frozen on his place, unsure whether to move backwards or forwards.

"Damn it," he hissed. "We can't approach him now."

"We have no other choice," Sebastian said, sounding so solemn that Ciel looked up at him in surprise. What choice was he talking about? "Let us join the dance and make our way closer to him in that fashion."

Ciel's mind short-circuited. He didn't have any time to get his thoughts in order because the next moment, Sebastian already took his hand and began to lead him to the middle of the dance floor, without giving him a chance to protest.

"You're telling me to dance here? With you?" he exclaimed finally. It was impossible, two males couldn't dance in public, what was Sebastian even thinking!

"At this moment, I am merely your tutor," Sebastian noted silkily, something dark and mocking swirling in his gaze. "My social position for tonight allows me to dance with my Young Lady publicly. It would only be appropriate."

Oh. Ciel had completely forgotten about it in his stupor.

"That's right," he mumbled, feeling his face slowly reddening.

No, this wasn't right. Even if he was posing as a girl, he wasn't actually one. He couldn't dance with Sebastian like this, in front of everyone — what if his identity was discovered? What would Madam Red and Lau think? What if Elisabeth jumped to his side the moment the dance ended and revealed his name to everyone?

"Let us begin, my Lady," Sebastian told him, his lips twisted in a small, closed smile that could mean nothing and everything at once. Then he moved, and Ciel followed automatically, his heart pounding so loudly that it almost overshadowed the music.

The position was all wrong. Sebastian might have shown him how to be led but Ciel was still not used to it and damn it, where did he have to put his hands?

He clang to Sebastian's shoulder, digging his fingers into it before loosening his grip in panic, knowing his eyes must be wide from shock and embarrassment.

This was just like in his first dream, where he and Sebastian had been dancing at a similar people-filled event. Only the dream was calm and pleasant while the reality was anything but.

When they danced at Ciel's office during the lesson, Ciel had no one apart from Sebastian to criticise him. Now, he was under the scrutiny of numerous eyes.

Everyone saw him. Everyone saw him dance with a man while dressed like a girl and no one said a word. It didn't matter that these people had no idea about what was really happening, it was still surreal and Ciel was still lost in the feelings of horror and disbelief. But there was a tiny warm glow of guilty pleasure, too, and this was what absolutely killed him.

"Let's cut across like so," Sebastian said quietly. Startled, Ciel looked up and saw that Sebastian was glancing somewhere above his head, tracking threats like Elisabeth or maybe calculating how to best approach their target.

Of course. This wasn't even a real dance, and just because Ciel was so immersed into it didn't mean that Sebastian felt the same. He was practical, as always, while Ciel kept messing up and focusing on the emotions no one needed.

Biting his lip, he looked down again, fixing his eyes on his feet. Whatever small delight he had felt now abandoned him, making the whole process of dancing tedious and even more humiliating.

Step to the right. Following Sebastian, then step to the left. Another step to the left.

His nerves were getting the better of him. When the dance finally came to an end and another one started, Ciel was panting heavily. Ignoring all common rules of good manners, he bent over the floor, wheezing, trying to chase away the black dots swimming before his eyes.

"How slovenly of you… and all over a dance?" Sebastian commented with a snort. Ciel glared at him but allowed him to lift himself up. He wasn't sure he was up for another dance, though, especially since they hadn't even reached their goal for some reason, but before he could say it, a slow clapping interrupted them. Ciel felt Sebastian tense, the corners of his lips turning down slightly and the proprietary hold on his hand tightening.

"It was a very cute dance, Young Lady," Aleistor Chamber purred, gazing at Ciel from under his lashes. "You were like a little Japanese robin."

A Japanese robin? Wasn't it a bird with a yellow head? How in the world did this man come up with such a comparison? He didn't have a yellow face, did he? And his dress was certainly not yellow either!

Up close, Aleistor Chamber looked as disgustingly saccharine as he did from afar. How could anyone find him attractive?

Sebastian got over his displeasure sooner.

"My Lady, I am going to find something for us to drink," he murmured. Ciel glanced at him, startled, but Sebastian was already moving away, leaving him alone with Chamber.

For a moment, a forlornness brushed against his mind, but Ciel quickly got over it. It was time to complete his task.

"Good evening, Viscount Druitt," he said, smiling stupidly and making his voice sound higher. He also attempted a curtsy in the way he saw Elisabeth do it, but something definitely felt wrong. He probably botched it completely.

Chamber didn't seem to mind — if anything, his eyes glowed even more appreciatively. Ugh.

"I wonder if you're enjoying yourself, little robin," he drawled. As soon as he stepped closer, Ciel tensed involuntarily, but he forced himself to stand still as Chamber took his hand, bringing it to his lips.

In the rare cases when Sebastian did it, it never felt this revolting. And why was he thinking about it anyway?

"I'm very excited to be attending such a wonderful party," Ciel chirped, carefully extracting his hand and wiping it against the back of his dress. "But I actually wanted to speak with you for a very long time."

Chamber tilted his head in interest, and the new role finally began to grow on him. Ciel pouted, wrinkling his nose.

"I've grown tired of dancing and eating," he complained. Something dangerous crossed Chamber's expression and then he broke into Ciel's personal space again, his hand moving to wrap itself against his waist.

"What a wilful princess this little robin is," he whispered, and Ciel had to fight to stay put. Even though he was wearing a dress and a corset, even though Sebastian had just been holding him in a very similar way during the dance, Chamber's touch poisoned his skin as if he was caressing it directly. "Shall we attend to more entertaining matters?" Chamber added, his hand slipping even lower, and Ciel closed his eyes, willing himself to stay calm.

Endure. He had to endure it. All the degrading things he had done today were leading to this moment. He wouldn't spoil it. He wasn't even himself, so there was no reason to worry and let the memories distract him.

"And can you suggest anything more entertaining?" Ciel asked aloud, smiling thinly.

"Of course," Chamber was becoming bolder by the second. His fingers touched Ciel's chin and he leaned closer, looking in a way that made Ciel want to punch him. "We could share it together, my adorable little robin."

He was dead. The moment this was over, Ciel was going to sic Sebastian on him. He'd love to see how Chamber liked being slowly suffocated by a corset. They would have to find a metal one for this, though — did they even exist? No matter, Bard could always assist in making one.

"Whatever could it be?" Ciel cooed. He had to speed things up — the dance was about to end and Chamber still didn't seem encouraged enough to lead him away, choosing to babble and stare instead.

Someone else was staring, too. Sebastian?

Almost against his will, Ciel looked in the direction of the gaze, and his heart fell when he saw Elisabeth.

Oh no. This couldn't be happening.

He blurted out something meaningless, trying to keep an eye on Elisabeth and Chamber both, but his panic was growing quickly, breaking through his concentration.

"It may be a bit early for you," Chamber said playfully, as if he wasn't the one to have made his indecent and badly veiled offer earlier.

God. Ciel couldn't believe he was being forced to say it.

"I am already a lady at full womanhood, I'll have you know," he uttered, praying that Sebastian wasn't nearby and wasn't listening to him. He would never let him live this down.

The dance ended, and as soon as the last note was played, Elisabeth broke into a run with a wide, excited grin.

No. No, she couldn't see him! If Ciel had to, he would play catch, and to hell with the looks that would be directed at him.

"What have you been so distracted by for the past few moments, hm?" Chamber didn't seem annoyed, only interested. Ciel stammered, his brain in panicked disarray, but before his dignity could be destroyed entirely, a loud crash made the whole room quieten.

Sebastian had stolen a carnival mask and a wardrobe somewhere and was now kneeling in front of Elisabeth with a shadowy, dangerous smile on his lips. What crazy thing was he planning? And why would he need a wardrobe, of all things?

"I don't remember arranging for a magic show," Chamber murmured uncertainly. Reluctantly, Ciel looked away from Sebastian and focused on his nightmare of an interlocutor again.

"Viscount, I'm tired of magic as well, so..." Ciel hesitated. He couldn't say that. Not now and not ever, and especially not when he could be heard.

"I got you, my little robin," Chamber grinned predatorily. "Shall we go?"

Ciel really, really hoped this was their killer. He also hoped he was being led to a butcher chamber, not to a bedroom.

When they left the ballroom, all noises immediately dissipated. The lighting got dimmer and Ciel took it as a good sign. Now, he only hoped Sebastian would find him when the time came instead of choosing to show his magic tricks to the grateful audience, or whatever it was he was doing.

"Was it your teacher you were dancing with?" Chamber inquired innocently. Ciel hesitated, wondering what to reply.

The victims were all prostitutes. If Chamber was planning to make him a new victim, he probably needed to verify his identity and make sure his death didn't cause a scandal.

"You came as a niece of Angelina Dalles, didn't you?" Chamber continued when Ciel still didn't reply. "That's interesting because I'm quite sure she only has a nephew."

Oh. Chamber had just given him a perfect idea.

"I knew a man as perceptive as you would see right through this!" Ciel pushed an idiotic giggle out of his throat. "The truth is, Viscount Druitt, I just really wanted to see you. When I heard about your party, I begged my mother to persuade the Baroness to let me come — she is working as a maid in the Dalles manor. We aren't close, she disapproves of what I do, but she owed me a favour and here I am!"

"Indeed?" Chamber looked delighted. "But what a charming little bird like you could do to cause anyone's disapproval?"

"Some secrets ought to remain secrets," Ciel said, a coy grin plastered firmly on his face. "But I'll give you a hint, Viscount. It has to do with fun."

"Ah," Chamber hummed knowingly, a victorious gleam making his violet eyes flash. "No need to say anything else, little robin. I got you. But what about that man you were dancing with? He seemed rather protective of you."

Protective? Ciel nearly snorted. Right. Sebastian was protective only when it benefitted him.

'But there were exceptions,' his mind whispered, and Ciel waved it off. Not now.

"The Baroness asked him to look after me," he explained. "He's another employee of hers. I don't really know him and to be honest, his company was excruciatingly boring."

Chamber's smile widened and he abruptly took a turn to the right.

"I hope I will provide you with much more excitement," he murmured. Ciel giggled again, not wanting to waste his breath on talking.

Whatever reservations Chamber had had, they were clearly gone now. The chances that he was being led to a butcher room increased, and anticipation was already shifting inside him restlessly.

Finally, Chamber opened the door, offering him to go inside first. Carefully, Ciel obeyed, a mixture of familiar tension and adrenaline rushing through his veins. The attack could occur at any moment — he had to watch out so he would have time to call Sebastian.

The room was strange, lit in a dim violet light. And what was this sickeningly sweet smell? Ciel wanted to gag just after one breath. Didn't Chamber notice it?

A sweet smell… Damn it. He was an idiot.

Unfortunately, the realisation came too late. The world around him tilted on its axis sharply and when Ciel blinked, he was already on the floor, trying to use the door for support awkwardly.

No time to call for Sebastian. No strength, no voice. Would he even have a chance to wake up? Would Sebastian come for him if he didn't?

The remaining lights got distinguished and Ciel could think no more.

CSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCS

His consciousness was returning slowly. The first wholesome image was that of Sebastian, who was looking at him attentively. That's it, he was just looking, so for a moment, Ciel was confused as to why he was even seeing it. Was it a dream? What purpose did it have?

Then the scene changed and he saw himself, leaning against the wardrobe as Sebastian was putting that hellish corset on him. Only this time, unlike in the real life, no shame or discomfort was present. Instead, Ciel was overcome by a tingling, languid feeling of sweet heat. It kept intensifying, spreading, shrouding every part of him in the mist of fervency that he had never experienced before. A strange and worrisome sensation began to stir in his belly, and Ciel came to his senses with a gasp, the ghost of heat still licking his face gently.

A dream based on the memories… Another one.

How unfortunate.

It felt even more extreme than the one about dancing but at the same time, Ciel was somewhat prepared for it, so it didn't affect him just as much. As he'd thought, his self-invented therapy kept working, and no matter how stubbornly his treacherous psyche was trying to set him back, he managed to defeat the rebellion and restore the control every time. He would try as much as he needed until these unexplainable dreams became a mere grey memory.

"Next are the long-awaited featured goods of this evening!" a pleased and familiar voice announced. Ciel started, finally remembering about his surroundings.

He couldn't see anything — a band was covering his eyes and his hands were tied to his neck, a knot rubbing against his wrists painfully.

"Here is something that you can appreciate visually or keep as a pet," Chamber continued. "You could also use it for a ritual."

It? This man was so dead. Absolutely done for.

Or maybe not. The Queen had expressed the wish for Jack the Ripper to be delivered alive for a possible public execution to be staged, and since all suspects Ciel had investigated tended to end up dead, Chamber would have to be an exception.

A black market auction. An auction where he was being sold, again, like some inanimate object, displayed in front of everyone.

Uneasy memories slithered around his brain, reminding him of their existence, but Ciel forcefully shut them off. After reliving them on purpose for so many times in a row, he felt only mildly distressed. Not to mention that he couldn't see the potential buyers and he wasn't who they thought he was.

It was obvious what happened to those prostitutes now. Pity, Ciel had really hoped for something more creative than the useless, unimaginative rituals. Jack the Ripper was as boring as Viscount Druitt's public persona. No fantasy whatsoever.

"Starting bid is 1000 Guinea!" Chamber exclaimed just as someone finally removed the band from his eyes. Ciel paused, unwilling to open them yet, but annoyance at his weakness quickly surpassed his hesitation. He gazed at the excited, greedy faces dispassionately. Despicable worms. If it wouldn't look so outrageous to the Queen, Ciel would order Sebastian to kill them off.

"Sebastian," he said sharply. "I'm here."

The bastard could have bothered to come by himself, when it became obvious that they were right in their suspicions. But of course, he didn't move a finger until Ciel called.

A burst of cold wind put out all the candles. A second later, muffled and pained yells began to echo around the room, and Ciel sighed, bored, waiting for it to be over.

Sebastian couldn't appear normally, he had to stage a show. How had he lucked out and gotten himself the most dramatic demon of all?

The lights went back when all sounds quietened. Sebastian stepped forward, once again in his teacher glasses, gazing at him with an almost annoyed expression. Annoyed! What reason did he have to be annoyed?

"Well, well. Your only function is to get caught repeatedly, isn't it?" he asked, and Ciel seethed. He had done just what they had agreed upon! Fine, losing consciousness wasn't a part of the plan, but it wasn't his fault. Sebastian was baiting him, he had to, and he wouldn't fall for this. Not this time.

"As long as I hold the contract, you'll follow me anywhere even if I don't call you, won't you?" Ciel asked. He knew the answer already but with Sebastian, no certainty ever lasted long. Even if he wasn't overly rattled by what happened, it was still disturbing. He felt vulnerable from being knocked out this instantly, without a chance to even open his mouth for a call.

A brief dark smirk on Sebastian's face told him that he quickly guessed the reason for Ciel's question.

"The evidence of the contract, a symbol that its holder bears, allows the demon to always keep sight on its prey," Sebastian told him, approaching his cage slowly, his gaze heavy with something Ciel couldn't decipher. "The more noticeable the symbol is, the more power it contains that the holder can use to execute his will."

What was he getting at? It wasn't like Ciel didn't know all that.

"But in exchange..." Sebastian let his voice trail off and Ciel suddenly understood what he was implying with perfect clarity.

Of course. Another power move. Another reminder that despite all his attempts, despite the illusion of freedom, he would never get away.

"The escape from that demon becomes an impossibility," he finished grimly. Sebastian grinned at him, something soft yet predatory in his expression. He touched the bars of the cage and with no visible effort, pulled them apart as if they were made of fabric.

"Yes," Sebastian said, his eyes alight with deadly and gentle indulgence one might show to the cow they were about to slaughter for food. "No matter where you go, I shall keep you company. To the very end. Even if this body were to be destroyed, I would never, ever leave your side. To the very depths of hell, I will follow you."

Strong hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him out of the cage before carefully setting him on the floor.

"And unlike humans, I don't lie," he added. One barely noticeable snap of fingers — and the tight ropes fell down, finally letting Ciel's wrists breathe. He stared at Sebastian solemnly, wondering if this deliberate display of demonic power was meant to intimidate him.

If anything, it served to remind him that while he was busy trying to cure himself from unexpectedly intensified attachment, Sebastian was feeling exactly the same thing he felt when they were finalising their contract: nothing. Nothing but hunger. He might hate every instance of Ciel trying to put distance between them but it wasn't for emotional reasons, never for them.

It stung like it always did but at the same time, such honesty was refreshing. Whenever Ciel doubted himself or others, he knew he could rely on Sebastian to tell him the truth. It was far more important than his own pathetic sensibilities.

"That's fine," he said and was treated to Sebastian's briefly incredulous expression. "You, you in particular… Don't lie to me. Ever."

That already familiar emotion of gentle indulgence shone in Sebastian's stare as he bowed to him, his hand pressed against his chest.

"Yes, my lord," he said, a quiet conviction in his voice, and Ciel nodded at him before turning to Chamber. He was still out of it, his mouth open in a disturbed 'oh', and though the desire to kick him was strong, Ciel managed to keep his legs from moving. This crime scene would be clean — let Randall see that his work wasn't always bloody and riddled with bodies, and that he could provide a whole room of unconscious but otherwise unharmed criminals.

"The Jack the Ripper case is solved, then," he uttered. "I must say, I'm disappointed." He certainly expected a killer of a higher class than this pompous and vain man.

"Scotland Yard will most likely be arriving soon," Sebastian commented lightly. "Staying for too long would be unwise."

Oh, so he wasn't the only one regretting not being able to play with every person in this room. So many victims and neither Ciel nor Sebastian could touch any of them. That was one of the drawbacks of dealing with criminals among the elite: the reports they would have to send to the Queen had to be much more detailed. Ciel hoped Chamber would be still executed but now that he saw his popularity first-hand, he doubted it. Imprisonment was the likelier outcome.

The room tilted suddenly as he was lifted off the floor unceremoniously, and Ciel gasped, staring at Sebastian in shock. It was unexpected, though he couldn't say why. Sebastian did carry him around whenever they had to leave... was it the dress that made it different or the way Sebastian had done it? Usually, he offered Ciel to carry him by reaching out for him, he never just grabbed him unless the situation was urgent.

"Let us be on our way," Sebastian said, his eyes cunning, and then, before Ciel could register it, he dashed forward and jumped right out of the window, with the cool wind smashing in their faces.

The initial surprise faded and Ciel put his hands on the back of Sebastian's neck, letting his fingers twist in his dark hair. If Sebastian insisted on carrying him so strangely, with Ciel half-sitting on his arm, then his hair would have to pay the price every time Ciel felt he was in the danger of falling.

Sebastian landed on the roof before gazing at him mischievously.

"Are you ready to go home, my lord?" he asked. Ciel rolled his eyes.

"Stop showing off," he ordered. "And get us home quick because I don't intend to spend another ten minutes in this corset."

"As you wish." Sebastian flew up into the air again and Ciel tightened his grip on his hair, squinting and letting the wind caress his face.

On the second thought, having Sebastian hold him like this was enjoyable. It was like he himself was flying, looking at the dark and quiet London stretching beneath, seeing all the endless space around them.

With a sigh, Ciel shifted and wrapped his hands around Sebastian's neck, leaning against him.

It wasn't a weakness, not at all. This was just a quiet moment that Ciel was going to enjoy, and he wouldn't feel guilty because of it. Not now, at least.

A/N:

Crockett Rocket, thank you so much for your as always insightful comment! And don't worry about Claude, he's not going to appear until it's time for him to do that canonically. I agree completely, Ciel always tries to shut off his emotions and distance himself from Sebastian, but of course it rarely works. He's a human, like you said, and a child at that, despite all his terrible experiences. I have to say I agree about Elisabeth — I think she's an interesting character, but she's also too spoiled and frankly alarming at times, like in this episode. I mean, she hung Grell! I understand where she is coming from at many points, but I really can't relate to her.

Manon, thank you so much!))

Guest, thank you! I agree, they are always blowing hot and cold, and it's difficult to say who's more clueless among them :D Sebastian did crave forgiveness, didn't he? Poor demon, he's going to be so confused from now on!

Hillary Potter, wow, thank you so much for such a high praise! I'll really try to correspond to it :D

22rubens, ah, thank you, your words mean so much to me! Sebastian will always keep playing but his games are also going to be subdued by his actual feelings more and more as time goes on. And Ciel is really struggling with his crush now, mostly because he has no idea what it even means and how to deal with it. Nice Sebastian was too much for him :D And Sebastian is equally confused and intrigued. Thanks, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter as well!

James Birdsong, thank you as always for your dedication and kind words!

Roxana, thank you and I'm really sorry for such a long wait! RL has been very severe, sadly :(

Aleta Wolff, thank you for all your comments! I'm so glad you're enjoying my style of writing and character development, and such a high praise really means a lot. I understand what you're saying about Sebaciel – after all, we all have different interests, and you don't usually get to choose who you ship, it either happens or it doesn't :D I think anime is full of romantic subtext, so while slowly, I'll be exploring it here. I'm happy you see you as a reader but of course, you should stay only for as long as you're comfortable. Nothing explicit will happen until post S2 but as you probably saw from this chapter, some thick subtext and a general pre-slash tag are going to be coming into play. Anyway, thank you again!

, hah, I loved both of your meanings :D And the first one is positively vicious! Without words, it actually might need look this way, and that's disturbing! You are right, they are indeed getting closer and Ciel has developed a full-blown crush, but of course, he isn't going to accept it without a fight. I thought about including Public School arc but as you said, this fic is already looking to be enormous :D So I'll probably have to keep away from it. S2 will indeed be the last. Don't worry about R!Ciel, though! He doesn't exist here as I follow only anime events, and his presence is only vaguely hinted at in BoC, with it being easy to explain it away. So our Ciel is the actual Ciel with no brother.

Guest, thank you so much! I will be indeed writing chapters from Sebastian's perspective on these events as well as on Jack the Ripper case, but it will happen later, when he approach Book of Circus ;)

a french girl, thank you for your words! Yes, there will be other chapters from Sebastian's POV, but they will happen at certain intervals, not sooner, so the next one will happen when we get to BoC))

kannl, groveling Sebastian is my guilty pleasure as well!))

Guest, ah, thank you so much for your wonderful words! I'm glad you've enjoyed these two chapters even if you missed them initially :D Ciel is indeed caught in the middle of his crush, and since he can't even understand it yet, he's both angry and confused. Of course, his attempts at distance will fail inevitably, but he'll be providing worthy resistance.

Best of worlds, thank you for your comment — and wow, I love your name :D And I love your idea — I'm definitely going to use it at some point, when there is something really important Ciel wants for him to use his soul as leverage like this. Like you said, despite everything, it's Ciel who's in control, and it does make their dynamic fascinating.

DuskPuffin, thank you for your lovely words, I'm really happy you feel this way! This is honestly the best praise because I do strive to make these characters as canon as possible. I hope you'll continue enjoying this story!

Guest, thanks, and I agree, Sebastian and Ciel are amazing together :D

Guest, ah, my 100th reviewer, thank you so much!)) I was very happy to get your comment and I really apologize for the terrible delay. RL has been attacking relentlessly lately!