Chapter 5

Jackie woke up the next morning and made her morning trip to the bathroom, she was almost done with the 1st trimester and the doctor said this part of the pregnancy could be ending. Maybe then she could take and decide what her next move would be.

Angie woke up and heard a car pull into the drive, she sort of hoped maybe her brother came to his senses after last night and came to talk to Jackie, Angie went down to answer the door knowing Jackie was dealing with her morning sickness. She greeted Kitty at the door, "I thought I would come check on Jackie, I heard her conversation with Steven last night. I can't believe Donna thought a get together with that Sam and Jackie was a good idea? How is she doing?"

"She is doing OK, she is getting ready in the bathroom right now" Angie knew she couldn't give too many details, she knew Jackie had only told her and knew that she wasn't ready for more people to know for it to get back to Steven before she could tell him herself.

"Is it still morning sickness?" Kitty asked

Angie was taken back at the question

"I am a mother and a nurse, I saw the early signs before Jackie left for Chicago, part of the reason I have been making sure to check on her. Along with Red."

At that Jackie made her way down the stairs to Angie and Kitty, "Hey Kitty I didn't hear you come in are you stopping by on your way to the grocery store or something?"

"Jackie sweetie, I heard you and Steven last night, I know what you wanted to talk to him about, and I wanted to check on you, stress is not good for your condition" Kitty stated plainly.

"Condition?" Jackie tried to play it off, but the look Kitty was giving her let her know that the older woman knew her secret, Jackie broke down in tears and was immediately enveloped in Kitty's arms. Somehow they managed to make it to the living room. Jackie took a deep breath and knew it was time to tell Kitty everything, even stuff she hadn't told Angie yet. Pulling out of Kitty's arms she sat up and looked at the woman she wished could have been her mother. "I had a scare earlier last Christmas, when I pushed Steven if he could see a future with me, I wanted to know if he would be with me because he loved me, I didn't want him to be with me because he felt obligated, he told Eric that the only time to get married is when your backs against the wall like the girl is pregnant. That is the marriage my parents had, that was even the marriage the Pinncioti's had, and look how both of those marriages turned out, that is not what I want. But then I found out I was never pregnant, but the thought that when I asked if he saw a future with me and all he could answer was 'I don't know' I figured then I needed to get out and move on, but you both know that didn't happen. We got back together and he refused to talk about our future and I guess nothing got resolved, then I found out I was in fact pregnant, and the job offer. I figured if I could get him to commit to me and know where I stood in his eyes I would stay here with him, and then tell him about the baby, I had thought of telling him that night they went to the beer warehouse with Charlie, but when he was passed out from what Eric told me. I was about to tell him everything when Michael decided to come to my room in a towel when he saw Steven's car in the parking lot"

Kitty took the girl in her arms again, "Do you know what you are going to do? Are you going to stay around and try and talk to Steven again?"

Jackie stayed in Kitty's arms, "I think I need to get away from Point Place, but not sure where"

Angie had a thought, "well you need to get away, but you don't need to be alone right now with all this, and you still need to stay somewhat close to Point Place, why don't you come back to Milwaukee with me? I am sure dad would love to have you stay with us."

Jackie sat up again and looked at Angie's smiling face, she knew she wanted to stay close to the girl, and after last night she was her one true friend she had, and she didn't want to be alone. "You know that sounds like a good plan, it's not like Steven visits his dad too often, and I'll keep in touch with Red and Kitty. Kitty how is Eric doing? Donna didn't say much last night about him"

"Well he is doing OK, but he is lonely and getting homesick, I talked to him last night and he hasn't heard from Donna or anyone else since he's been gone, it seems Donna is avoiding his calls, he doesn't know what is going on with her, maybe you should write him?"

Jackie thought about it, when she had her pregnancy scare years ago with Michael she talked to Eric first and really when she needed comfort if it wasn't Steven, Eric was there, even if they picked on each other. Maybe it was because she wanted parents like Kitty and Red that she saw Eric as a big brother. "You know that might be a good idea, I had a good conversation with him before he left and I miss him more than some of the others"

Before they knew it Angie's week was up, she had straightened out the books at Grooves and show Steven what he needed to do from now on, with a promise she would check in for a few days in a month. Jackie had gotten a doctor recommendation and her files transferred from Point Place to a doctor in Milwaukee, she had packed up her room and was ready to load her car and Angie's. Kitty and Red came over for one last dinner and was surprised to find WB had come up as well, and would caravan with the girls tomorrow. He had stopped by Grooves and everything seemed to be in order. He promised that the next time he was in town he would take the time to meet his daughter in law, but secretly hoped she would be gone before the time came.

Dinner was nice both girls helped Kitty and they cleaned out the refrigerator afterwards, while Red and WB packed the cars. When Kitty and Red left after a tearful goodbye and promises to keep in touch and they would be there when the baby came, Jackie sat in her room one last time holding a t-shirt and paper and pen, WB stopped and came in the room.

"How you doing kiddo?" he said taking a seat next to her on the floor.

"OK, I have a feeling I am never going to be in this house again, and I found this tucked away" she said pulling out the shirt, "Steven gave it to me for my 17th birthday, he said it was his favorite and that I was with him and he wanted me to have it. He never said how he felt with words but there was gestures that let me know. But those seemed to stop some time ago, it became one sided and just didn't know how he felt anymore, I know I pushed but I was so desperate, everyone had walked out of my life, just like he had everyone walk out of his, I tried to assure him I wouldn't be one of them, and hoped he could do the same for me." WB moved closer and put his arm around her "I don't know if I should give this back to him or not, part of me wants to keep it, if anything for the baby to have something of their father's."

"Give it back, maybe when the time is right and he gets his head out of his ass maybe the baby will have a father and not just an old t-shirt."

"WB thank you for everything, I think I have given up on the fairy tale, it just hurts because I love him, or at least the him that he used to be, not this person he is now."

"You need to get some rest for you and that grandbaby of mine, we have a long day tomorrow" with that WB got up and left the room.

Jackie got up and sat at her desk and wrote her 2nd goodbye letter to Steven, and possibly her last.

Steven,

I guess this is goodbye, I figured it was time to give your shirt back to you. When you gave it to me all those years ago it was because I was your girl and you wanted me to have it. I know it is your favorite, so I am giving it back to as I am no longer your girl. Looking back now I wonder if I really was your girl. I know that you want to pretend that the last 2 years never happened between us but they did and we can't change the past. I like to think that the last 2 years caused me to grow up a lot and I hope become a better person. I am sorry for pushing you, I saw more in yourself than you ever did. I may have grown up with money but even now you still have more than I ever did growing up, you have the Formans who see you as their other son, you have a biological dad that wants so much for you and you have a sister. Mom has been gone for months, and I don't know how much longer I can stay in this house, so I am getting out of here before I am forced out. I knew I was stretching my stay when I came back from Chicago, but I thought things would turn out differently. I once told you that you was worthy of love, well I am too, and I hope one day I will find that. I just wanted you to love me as much as I loved love you.

Take care of yourself, you don't have to be your parents, you don't have to be this drunken shell of a man. It hurts too much to see you like this and Point Place is too small for us to avoid each other, so it's time for me to leave, there isn't much holding me here anymore.

Love,

Jackie

Jackie sighed, and put everything in a box, she would stop the box by Red's shop tomorrow on her way out of town. She pulled out another sheet of paper and began another letter.

Dork,

How is Africa? I miss you, it seems no one is themselves with you gone. I am sure your mother has informed you of everything going on here or most of it. Well the first time I thought I was pregnant you was the first one to know, sorry not the first one this time, and it is true this time. But so far Angie, WB and your parents know, but if you notice you know before the father. I have tried to tell him, before I left Chicago, that night in Chicago and several times since he's been back. But I can never find a time when he is alone and sober. The other night he told me he wanted to just pretend that the last 2 years never happened, getting sick every morning is sort of a constant reminder of the last 2 years. I am asking you to keep this a secret more than you did last time. I am not talking to Donna right now, she had a sleepover a few nights ago, invited Steven's wife and Angie. There was some tense times, but the worse was when I heard Sam ask Donna why she was friends with me and Donna couldn't think of why. Forget all the times I was there for her when you screwed up. Or was there when her parents was fighting or the divorce. That is one of the reasons I wanted to see where I stood with Steven without the baby, I know what he said to you and didn't want that to be the reason we are together. And right now he is drunk more than sober and I will not subject my child to that, not to mention a stripper for a step mom.

The doctor has been concerned about my blood pressure and stress levels, so I am moving to Milwaukee, WB and Angie want me to live with them, WB even has offered me a job a Grooves headquarters he found out I had been doing the books for Steven since Angie left so he wants me to working with Angie in the accounting department.

I wish I could update you on Fez, but I really haven't seen or heard from him since I came back. I kicked Michael's ass when I saw him when I returned, but I haven't seen him since. If you want you can write me at WB's, I just ask that if you talk to the others you don't say anything about me. Not that anyone will ask, Donna never called or anything till she invited me to the sleepover, I think she and Sam are hanging out together, some feminist…cheerleading is anti-feminist but stripping is OK? I hope everything goes good for you, what you are doing do for yourself. I've learned that others are just not worth bending over backwards to please. You be the man that your future niece or nephew can look up to.

Love,

Jackie

Eric reread the letter several times, the first letter that was from someone other than his mom since he arrived. He was thinking of those he left behind, he had wrote letters to everyone, but Jackie, he wasn't sure what to say to the Devil after everything that had happened. But now he felt like he needed to write her, she needed all the friends she could get right now. He was furious was Kelso and that stupid stunt that now has ruined lives. His heart broke more for the girl he left behind that he hasn't heard from since he left, and now he is wondering if the girl he left behind is the same girl he fell in love with years ago. His heart ached for Jackie, sure he joked that she was the devil, but she was a really good friend, just a little too blunt at times. He had noticed how much she had grown up over the years, and that they really did talk just the two of them at times. She had once been his hero when she took down Laurie. The thought of her alone in that huge house of hers, maybe moving out of Point Place would be good for her, he knew he had a few letters to write home as well, the first to the girl he thought he left behind.

Donna,

It's been over 2 months and I haven't gotten any letters from you, and you are gone every time I have tried to call you. I guess despite the thought I was doing this for us, in truth I am doing this for me. I am doing this so I am more the Red and Kitty's twitchy son, the dork of the group of my friends, and more than just your boyfriend. I need to grow on my own and I wasn't going to do that there. I needed to get away and be my own man. I need to see for myself what I am capable of without the burns and taunts or the pressure of my dad. Things are amazing here as I have told you in past letters if you even bother to read them. I have come to realize that you have changed to, the girl I left behind would write me, would take my calls and would be standing by her best friend, and you are not doing any of that. I am not dumb to what is going on while I am gone, I am aware of you ignoring Jackie after Hyde has ripped her heart and tore it to shreds. Maybe it is time I learn that you and I are not meant to be and time for us to move on, may you find someone worthy of you, but I need to find someone that is worthy of me and encourages me to be better.

Eric

He had written a few short letters home to everyone, but had not heard back from anyone, it hurt that the man he felt was his brother hadn't wrote him back. He couldn't believe he would marry a stripper and that they were living in his home, the basement was sacred, they did everything to keep Laurie from hanging out there, and a stripper was a step below Laurie. He wasn't holding his breath that he would get a response, or that it would make a difference but he needed to get it out of his system.

Hyde,

So despite the fact that you can't take time out of your busy life and let me know what is going on others have. I can't believe you, I thought when I left you was on your way to get Jackie back. That girl has been the best thing that has ever happen to you, and despite what you say you was HAPPY with Jackie. Without her you would have never gotten to know your real dad and have a job that I know you love. You was on your way to getting as far away from the curses that your mom had put on your life. Kelso was right in choosing you as Godparents over me and Donna, we are never going to be happily ever after, but back then you and Jackie could have had it.

On top of that you have married a blond stripper that you don't even remember? Jesus dude, talk about a step down from Laurie. And we know Laurie's slutty life, what VD is a stripper carrying? The basement is sacred and we spent most of our lives making sure to keep Laurie out, but you bring down what seems to be her clone? So is she acting like Laurie did when she cheated with Kelso too? You didn't have to go all the way to Vegas to find a slut like that, just look for my sister. I am glad I am not home right now, not strong enough to kick your ass, but I am getting stronger, and if Red hasn't killed you yet I promise I will when I get home.

Foreman

He knew that Jackie hadn't been around Sam and Hyde much like when Kelso was dating Laurie, but just from what he had heard from his mom and Jackie's letter, but something about this girl just reminded him of Laurie. Too bad Jackie couldn't kick her ass like she had Laurie's, but she needed to be careful with the baby. Now he had one last letter to write and send off, but this one would be weird, it wasn't going to Point Place like all his other letters.

Devil,

It is great to hear from someone other than my mother, heck I have even gotten a few lines from dad, but that has been it. Your letter broke my heart, I am so sorry for how you have been treated. I wrote one last letter to Donna and broke it off with her, she is not the girl I fell in love with and I am not sure who she is anymore. I am excited to be an uncle, and I will keep it a secret. Things are changing here for me, I am not the same I was when I left, I am hoping I am a better man for what I am doing here. I am building muscles and could probably do those stupid ropes in gym now. I still can't believe how much has changed, the thought of you not in Point Place is so strange. So how is it living with WB and Angie? I had noticed that you and Angie seemed to be getting along before she moved back, I know right now you need good friends right now, I hope Angie is that for you and I hope you look to me as one as well. The last few months before I left you was a great friend in helping me. I am not going to be a guy living in my parents' basement reading comic books all the time. You helped me to try and do something, even if I fail. You are going to be a great mom, you have learned what not to do, you are going to be there for your baby and love that baby like no other. I have seen how you love, you love with everything in you even to those that might not deserve your love. I want that, I want the love my parents have and I realized I would never have that with Donna. I still have hope that you and Hyde could find your way back to each other, but I am an eternal optimist. He does love you, he has just became scared of love, I don't know why.

Yours,

Dork

Hyde came in the basement to find it empty, it normally is since Forman left, despite the Formans being upstairs, there was an emptiness that he hadn't felt since his mom left years ago. He noticed that there was a box on his chair, he picked it up and sat down. He opened it and noticed the t-shirt he had given Jackie for her birthday, and a note on top, he read the note and threw the box and everything across the room. She left him again, left him with a note. Only this time he doesn't know where she is going, was she going back to Chicago? Was she really facing homelessness and being forced out of her home? Did she not know how much he loved her? He thought back she told him all the time she loved him, and he never said it back. He tried to show her, but he knew he was doing a crappy job of showing her. She wasn't his girl anymore, he had a wife that wasn't her, a wife he didn't know the first thing about. He sat there with his head in his hands as footsteps were heard coming down the steps, he didn't have to look up to know Red.

"So you got your box?"

"Jackie gave it to you?"

"Yea, she stopped off at the shop on her way out of town to let me check over her car. She wanted me to make sure you got the box"

"So she's really gone this time? Or is it like last time and she's still here hiding from me?"

"No she's really gone, I don't know when or if she will come back to visit, I know Kitty is going to miss her. Hell she was the only one of you dumbasses that was really any help working on cars aside from you"

"I don't want to be Bud and toss Sam out, I am trying to live up to responsibilities"

"Well if you think that whatever fling you had with Sam in Vegas is more important than what you and Jackie had over the last 2 years that is your decision. I know that girl loved you, and she couldn't stay here and watch you with your wife. Women are stronger than we give them credit for most of the time, but each woman has her breaking point, and Jackie was almost at hers." With that Red walked back up the steps.

Hyde was again left alone with his thoughts, he went over and picked the t-shirt and note back up. She had believed in him, more than he had believed in himself. She was right she had nothing but money growing up, she didn't have people like the Formans growing up as a second set of parents, even with moving in with Bob and Donna she didn't have that bond with Bob that he had with Red and Kitty. He looked around the room, it was full of nothing but memories of Jackie. Their conversation that led to dinner at Sizzler and her buying his boots, the ones he still wore to this day. Teaching her zen and watching her kick Laurie's ass, he wondered if she would have kicked Sam's if she had stayed around, but then he realized she was broken, it wasn't the same as when Kelso strutted Laurie around the basement. Where he had promised he would never treat Jackie the way that Kelso had, if he ever had the chance, he had surpassed him. He remembered that day that summer when it all really started, her running to him when she found out about her dad. The first time she spent the night in the basement after he found that she was alone in that house, how worried he was of something happening to her. Why hadn't he worried before Chicago, why had he not realized her mom had once again taken off. What if something had happened to her, she is so small why did he not fight her going to Chicago alone like he had when he first found her alone in that house? Something could have happened to her in Chicago. The girl couldn't even go to FunLand without being accosted by a stupid guy in a dog suit. It was like a knife in his gut, he needed to drown out the memories and hide the shirt and note before anyone saw, he went to his room and reached under his cot and pulled out the shoe box of all the notes from high school and other mementos from being with Jackie he had in there, before he laid the new items in there he picked up her framed senior picture, she was smiling back at him he put the shirt and note down and put the picture back on top, closed the lid and slid it back under his cot. The thought that there might never be anything else to ever add to that box hit him. He knew he had to pull himself together before the wife showed up, so he reached out and took out a bottle that he had and began to drink, there was no other way to drown out the memories that was hitting him.