(Stay with me-chris andrian yang(it's a cover))

:)

KOUJI'S POV

Today was the first day of my new job. I wasn't thrilled at all to leave my twin by himself. I could tell Kouichi was happy for me, although there was a hint of loneliness in the way he spoke. After what had happened I couldn't just leave my brother alone. No matter if I gave him a gun and pepper spray I don't think I would feel any better not being by his side. Maybe I could just start work another day. I just don't feel right.

Screw it, I'll call Junpei.

My brother lay peacefully asleep as I tip toed out his bedroom door. I gazed at him for a long minute before I left and I probably shouldn't have. The way he curled on the bed and cuddling Mori reminded me of a child. He was innocent, not confrontational, and overly nice. Whether or not he grew a back bone; it just wasn't enough for me. As if I could hate Katsu or the boys more but it made me want to protect him more obsessively.

His angelic, slumbering face caused me to reminisce about our mom. He appeared almost too beautiful to be a boy and it terrified me. I wonder if everyone else saw this, too. Maybe that's why he had so many problems lately. I guess I could look like this too if I wasn't sneering all the time. His sleeve rolled up somewhat and showed a few scars. No matter how upset it could make me, I felt like I was on top of the world knowing he didn't indulge himself in something so horrific anymore because I had asked him. I did something good.

Maybe it was about time I take Kouichi's silent scolding to heart. I may think of him as a hypocrite for this alcoholism but he's right, and I know it. We both do it; I do more so than he.

I crept out the front door and lit a cigarette almost immediately. I needed to dissociate from my thoughts. Though it was only six AM I thought it was a good idea to call Junpei. He's probably up, anyway.

'Hey,' He answered tiredly.

'Hey,' I said quietly into the phone, stepping around the house.

'What's going on?' Junpei asked.

I inhaled smoke, '..am I really coming in today?'

'Is that a real question?' Junpei laughed, '..don't make me regret hiring you.'

I scoffed, '..I already regret this myself..'

'Kouji, what's the issue?' He sighed.

'..it's just.. Kouichi..'

'What? Is he okay?' He sounded scared when he spoke though it was just over the phone so I couldn't see his expression.

'..I mean, he's going to be by himself,' I reminded him. I felt a little awkward saying this.

'It's only for a little bit, Kouji. After I take an hour to train you at work I can always come by to see Kouichi.'

'Yeah. But-'

'Or we could always have Takuya check on him,' Junpei chuckled teasingly.

I growled '..no.'

'Heh.. calm down, I'm joking. But I'm sure he'll be okay for a morning. He starts tomorrow with you so just relax.'

'But..'

Junpei smirked through his words, '..don't tell me you want to back out on today just because he won't be next to you? That's kind of childish.'

His words stabbed my heart.

'What's wrong with wanting him next to me?'

'For every minute of every day?' Junpei replied, '..sounds a little possessive.'

I rolled my eyes, '..call it what you want.'

'Look, Kouji. Just come in today and you'll go early. He's starting with you tomorrow, anyway. It's just a few hours away from him. If it makes you feel better, I'll even visit him. Hell, he might be still asleep when you get back.'

'Maybe..'

'I will visit him if I find it necessary. But, c'mon. He's a big boy, and you're an adult. A few hours won't-'

'Listen, I don't know how to say this..' I cut him off but spoke softly.

'Just say it.'

I sighed and silently mustered up enough courage to speak once more, '..I feel.. like shit without him.'

'Is that one sided?' Junpei's word sounded giddy.

'I.. I don't know,' I frowned, inhaling smoke.

'Let's find out.' He finalized and hung up.

"Hello?" I muttered hearing the dial tone ring in my ear mockingly.

Jerk..what's that supposed to mean?

•••

Kouichi woke a bit after my phone conversation. My twin was slightly reluctant to see me go; I can tell in his tired eyes. It almost made me stay but he practically ushered me verbally out the door. Junpei was waiting in his car to pick me up, honking his horn every minute. When I sat in the car my heart shattered seeing his solemn hand waving. I may have left Kouichi but I left my broken heart behind, too.

Being trained by Junpei wasn't too bad. The register wasn't hard and we didn't have a lot of customers that came inside of the store to begin with. He showed how to put stock away when necessary and eventually said he would promote me. He told me it might lead to more hours. Junpei teased me saying I wouldn't see Kouichi as much because I'd end up working so many hours and it just annoyed me. Maybe it's a joke but it's one that would actually cause me to quit.

The entire time I kept checking my phone to see if Kouichi had messaged me and of course I got nothing. I wondered if he even thought about messaging me, like I thought about receiving it.

KOUICHI'S POV

After Kouji left I couldn't sleep. I tried so hard seeing as it was still pretty early in the morning but I always had a problem with sleep. Either I would sleep too much or I wouldn't at all and when I could, I would have nightmares. At least, that's how it used it be. Lately I haven't really had bad dreams. Actually, for the past week all I dreamt about was Kouji. It's embarrassing to admit but I wonder what it means. All I know is in these dreams it would be just us star gazing, sitting at the tunnel alone or walking in place. I'd only feel fulfillment and joy. When I awoke it was a different story. My stomach would flutter, my face would burn, my heart would pound and even my hands began to sweat. I never felt anxiety this bad just from a dream.

Weird..

Now thinking of those dreams, I didn't necessarily want to sleep. I decided to clean to distract myself. Walking down the hallway and passing my mother's old room always depressed me in such a way that I couldn't find a coping method. I'd feel a breakdown in my chest but wouldn't let it show. I feel like it would happen eventually. I just regretted not doing enough; I almost feel like I just let everything happen. I tried to put it out of my mind but it was hard being reminded every day.

Also, can I just say that being an eighteen-year-old boy makes it a little weird for me to have a stuffed animal? I actually want another one, but for reasons I guess only I could understand. Maybe Kouji did, too. Mori didn't have anything to really do with Katsu but he almost resembled him in a way. Dark fur, dark eyes and an evil undertone.

I would gaze at my phone with wishful thinking. There were certain times I wanted to send a message to a Kouji but I don't know if I should. Maybe that would make me seem pathetic and clingy, after all, Kouji wasn't like that. He probably wasn't expecting a message from me and was relieved to be alone again.

Or maybe not. I should have more faith in myself. Why do I sense everything I think is a lie? Kouji couldn't care about me that much could he? There's no way my dependency is mutual. I can't help it, though, I just feel so down without him.

I started with the kitchen. The lemon scented counter cleaner plagued my nostrils and the house immediately. There was a bottle sitting on the counter that I moved. For some reason beyond me I didn't have the desire to drink. I couldn't explain it, my urge just disappeared. This wasn't a daily thing like it had been for Kouji. Lately, I haven't seen him drink much either. I wondered if he actually got the hint that it wasn't a good habit, or maybe he found a new one? I don't want to think about that.

Next I need to clean the living room. I started by sweeping then mopping the floor. I think I mopped about three times before I could get the shine I wanted. I liked seeing my reflection in the floor though it just reminded me of how alien I looked to myself.

After I was done cleaning I sat on the couch, staring at my phone. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest seeing a message pop up. However it wasn't Kouji. Junpei just said 'hey' and I didn't bother replying. I felt a little guilty but it was still early and at least for me. The only person I want communication with is my brother. I laid back in bed and set my phone on the side table. I grabbed Mori and sighed, I hated that name but I loved the stuffed animal.

Finally, I fell asleep and ended up having one of those dreams again.

•••

KOUJI'S POV

Junpei told me to go home early like he had promised earlier. He gave me an envelope with some money in it and I gave him a cold look. He told me it was an advance in my paycheck. It took me a few minutes to say yes but I realized why he had given it to me. Well, this wasn't the entire reason, but I know that we thought a lot alike sometimes. It was made apparent only recently.

I made my way to a bigger store and immediately felt intimidated with the size of this place. I grabbed the first sketchbook I could find and smiled thinking about the wolf picture I always keep in my pocket; even now. One day, I will get a frame for it. Maybe I'll hang it up, too.

I made my way down an aisle with a large toy section. I honestly I didn't want to stay too long, I just wanted to get home to my twin. I walked down an isle I saw with a large amount of stuffed animals and had to hold back a laugh. It looks as if I'm shopping for a kid.

On the shelves there were tons of animals like cows, bunnies, cats and more. I didn't know what to grab but I saw another dog plush, just as soft but it was smaller and light gray. His eyes were bright and big. I grabbed it, gazing at it, wondering if a Kouichi would be happy with another dog.

"He's cute."

I turned to the voice to see an older lady standing behind me. A girl possibly the age of five skipped behind her and smiled widely at me.

I nodded at the older woman, unsure of what to say. I normally hate social interaction with random strangers but I felt invited and pleasant.

"You're too young to have kids," the old woman grinned, "..is that for a girlfriend?"

I chuckled awkwardly, "..kind of."

"Kind of?" The woman furrowed her brow.

"It's a little complicated," I spoke, but she didn't seem satisfied with that answer, "..it's kind of.. one sided."

"Oh.. does she know?" She laughed, "..I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry. I'm just old woman looking for company."

"It's okay," I told her.

She blinked at me, as if she was asking for my information.

"Um..no.. she's clueless," I muttered, sighing.

Why was I telling this random stranger my sad love story? Honestly, this is a little weird but not as weird as I thought. I think the weirdest part was I couldn't bring myself to tell her she was a actually a he..

"Keep your head up," she advised, "..she will love anything you give her, I'm sure."

"It's perfect!" The little girl exclaimed. I couldn't help but smile at her. Kouichi always had a soft spot for young kids and it was starting to rub off on me.

"Thanks," I nodded at them.

"You should get flowers and candy, too!" The little girl suggested.

"That's too much," the old woman hushed her and laughed, "..my granddaughter can be a little rowdy, I apologize."

I grinned, "..it's okay, really."

•••

I walked through the front doors to find the place completely spotless; not like it was ever a mess to begin with but it smelled of lemon and the floor literally sparkled. I peeked into Kouichi's bedroom door to see him curled up like a sleeping angel. Mori laid on the side of the bed I slept on. He rested a hand on the stuffed animal and immediately I felt jealous. I wanted to be that stuffed animal. Also, I need to replace that one. The name 'Mori' just angers me now.

I crawled on the bed beside him, sitting gently without shifting the mattress too much. A yawn escaped me realizing how tired I had been. I wasn't used to walking up early just yet. I moved the old plush down on the floor and gently held his hand, gazing at his scratched limb. I kept the new plush and book hidden behind me. I moved my hand to his hair, gracefully pushing the strands back behind his ear. He needed a hair cut; his hair was getting so long.

I grinned seeing him smile with rosy cheeks in his sleep. I sighed and gazed at the ceiling wishing for answers. Every day is getting worse. Well, I don't know how much worse exactly. The realization I had before was definitely the worse thing. Is this what it's like to be one sided? If it isn't, I sure can't tell. Kouichi is too kind and gentle of a soul to ever push me away. If he does, I wouldn't blame him. I probably deserved it.

"Kouji?"

I glanced at him not realizing his eyes had fluttered open.

"Hey," I smiled at him as he yawned.

"You're back already?" He blinked sleepily, "..I missed you."

Those words made my heart skip.

"Really?" I said breathlessly. I think I could die happy.

"Yeah.. is that bad?" Kouichi blushed, a confused look washed over his face

"No," I laughed lightly, "..you're perfect."

Kouichi face reddened deeper. Maybe what I said was a bit out of line but I couldn't help the joy I felt knowing this nostalgic feeling had been mutual. It showed through his cleaning, his words and his eyes. I grazed his cheek with my finger. I think he got embarrassed because he hid his face in the sheets. This is my favorite reaction. I attempted to hold back a laugh but ended up letting it out. I just wanted to stay like this with him forever.

"I got you a present," I muttered enticingly.

Kouichi looked up at me, his eyes sparkled more than the clean floor, "..really?"

"Uh, y-yeah," I stammered.

Why did Kouichi make me nervous? Why now?

"What is it?" Kouichi sat up with me, blinking in question.

I showed him the sketchbook. There wasn't much to it; it was just a regular black hardback book. I can tell from his glowing face he loved it. He took it and beamed at me.

"Thank you," he said, his smile could warm and brighten my entire life, "..I guess I need to draw you another picture."

"Yeah, you do. Also, I still have one more present for you," I informed with a grin.

Kouichi cocked his head to the side as I pulled the new plush out from my back and handed it to him. He immediately took it gratefully wore the biggest smile; the biggest I've ever seen. He really acts like a child sometimes.

"Thank you!" He hugged it, "..when did you?"

"Don't worry about it," I chuckled. I've said it a million times to him I felt like but he never pries any deeper.

I hope another dog is okay.. but he doesn't seem to mind..

"He's the perfect size," Kouichi stated.

Good. We can throw the other one away..

"I can use the other one for a pillow!" Kouichi threw an idea out.

I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

You know what's wrong, you're not dumb.. but maybe I shouldn't bring it up right now.

"You have to name him," I said, successfully changing the subject.

"Again?" Kouichi pouted, "..why do you treat me like I'm five?"

"Because you act like it sometimes," I laughed, teasing.

And because I met a five year old at the store.. and realized .. they're kind of cute.

"Hmm.."

I studied him as he scanned the stuffed animal.

"Chiyo."

"I like that name," I smiled as he smiled back at me.

•••

Today was our first day of work together. It was a forty minute walk to work and Junpei asked to give us a ride but I just waved it off. I didn't mind walking to work together. I wanted to spend as much time alone with him as possible. Maybe I couldn't say what I truly felt but at least I can let myself indulge in experience. Kouichi didn't seem to mind.

As we walked in the store I immediately began to show Kouichi the back room with all the storage of produce and goods. I showed him how to use the register though I thought he would enjoy doing subtle stocking since his last job was just that.

We were in the back room when he was about to pick up a box. I picked it up for him, whether he mumbled a thank you or not, the gentleman in me seemed self satisfied and pleased with his sheepish demeanor. He bent to his knees to start take bags out to place them on the shelf and I grinned to myself knowing he was secluded in my presence. I patted his head, the gentle pink on his cheeks made me inwardly laugh. A man walked in the store and I sighed, reluctantly making my way to the register.

He began to meander towards the counter but turned to walk down the small aisle of bags of chips where Kouichi sat. He glanced up at the man awkwardly as he walked by him. I studied the man intensely and watched his eyes shift to Kouichi. The store wasn't too big so I heard as he began to speak.

"You're new here," he stated with a friendly smile.

"Um, yeah. Youre a regular?" Kouichi said.

"Kind of. I just haven't seen you two here before," he pointed in my direction.

He's probably used to seeing Junpei in this store. Maybe that man is just being friendly but I'm still annoyed. I think this is where my paranoia and distrust began showing the most.

"Junpei still works here," Kouichi beamed at the stranger.

"Good to know, he's good people," the man grinned, "..I don't mind, though."

Kouichi blinked but didn't say anything.

"So.. are you two brothers?"

The conversation didn't seem to end and it irked me.

"Yeah, twins," Kouichi turned his head in question.

"Twins?" The man belly laughed, "..I'd never guessed. He's so scary and you're actually approachable!"

Scary? Okay. But Kouichi's approachable? I need to teach him my ways of intimidation.

"Oh?" My brother placed a couple bags on the shelf uncomfortably.

"Well, yeah. He's like a wolf and you're a beagle," he laughed once more.

I rolled my eyes hearing the dog comment. Katsu left a bad taste in my mouth about a lot of things but he this was the one thing I couldn't take. I watched Kouichi's fictional tail move between his legs and it pushed me over the edge.

"Kouichi," I said sternly, "..go get the other box from the back."

Kouichi nodded to the man before trotting off. The man frowned, a bit confused, but grabbed a bag of chips and a bottle of juice before making his way to the register. He set them on the counter a bit nervously and I don't know why but it irritated me further seeing him act guilty. Well, maybe he wasn't guilty and hadn't been acting like a creep but once again; I only had paranoia and distrust for a lot of people now.

I coldly told him the total and he paid me. I feel like he wanted to say something to me but he kept quiet.

Good. I hated interaction. Honestly I feel bad Junpei hired me. I might scare away his business.

After the man left I walked towards the back room. Kouichi poked his head out and without question I gave him a look of safety. Kouichi didn't speak but I could tell he felt nervous from an awkward strangers small talk. He didn't seem scared and it made me feel guilty with how I acted.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I checked it. It was Takuya; there was a long message.

'Hey! Guess what? I met this new girl and she's so amazing! We met the other day and already she wants to meet everyone! I hope you guys want to meet her. I texted Kouichi but he didn't reply. I want you guys to meet her soon though. She's so cool!'

Why did he text me all this? And why is such detail? Was he that smitten?

"You got one of these the other day, right?" I showed him my phone as he nodded.

"I didn't know how to respond," he admitted.

I chuckled, "..I wonder how long this one will last."

"Takuya seems to really like her.. we should probably meet her," Kouichi smiled.

"Maybe," I smirked.

Whatever you want, Kouichi.

•••

"Where are we going?" Kouichi asked as we strolled down the side walk together.

We had just gotten off of work when I decided to head towards a certain familiar spot. I didn't want to take him home where it could possibly cause a depression, nor did I want to bring us anywhere public. This seemed liked the best option. I just wanted to be alone and content with my twin.

I shook my head, "..you'll see."

Kouichi pouted.

"It's not like you haven't been here before," I smirked.

"Oh, the tea shop?"

"You want to go there instead?" I asked, studying him.

"I don't even know where we're going."

I laughed.

He sighed.

I wrapped my arm over his shoulder, "..just thought we could use a little.. free relaxation."

Kouichi blinked in question but surrendered as he grew quiet.

When we reached the tunnel I guided him down the darkness and up the stairs sitting above the opening. He looked nervous; I know he doesn't like heights.

"It's okay," I said reassuringly, "..I've got you."

He nodded as I took his hand and lead him up the stairs. We sat beside eachother and let our feet dangle. Once again, there wasn't a soul at the park but this is what I had wanted anyway. Solace in seclusion.

Kouichi's grip tightened on my hand. I glanced at him to see a very flustered face; more than usual.

What's wrong with him?

"You okay?" I rubbed his hand in mine.

"Y-yeah," he replied quietly.

I scooted closer to him, "..you sure?"

This seemed to make him even more nervous. I don't know what came over him. Just recently he's been acting more of a nervous wreck around me.

He merely nodded when I spoke. I frowned at his lack of verbalization. I moved my hand to move his bangs out of his face but he flinched.

"Do you hate me right now?" I huffed, shocked but somewhat playful.

"No.." Kouichi bit his lip, "..I just.. kind of got deja vú."

"What?"

"It's weird," he muttered.

"Enlighten me," I smiled at him.

"I.. uh.. had a dream," he mumbled, though it was hard to hear him clearly.

"A dream?"

"Yeah. This exact moment, I think. You were even wearing that shirt," Kouichi pointed towards my chest as he spoke.

I laughed, "..well, I don't have a lot of clothes to begin with."

His face turned deep red, "..don't make fun of me."

"Okay, I'm sorry," I embraced him.

His arms wrapped around my neck, I could feel him bury his face in my chest and immediately I felt my heart begin to beat faster and louder. Kouichi could definitely hear it.

"So.." I started as he looked up at me, "..what happened in your dream? How did it end?"

He shrugged.

I raised my brow, "..what?"

"We.. well, I.." he seemed hesitant, "..I don't remember."

"Want to make our own ending?"

Kouichi flushed; maybe it was my tone of voice that made him so flustered. I didn't mean it, I can't help it around him.

"Our own ending?" Kouichi pulled back, his eyes staring into mine.

His face was dangerously close to mine; so close in fact I could feel his warm breath on my face. I closed in the space between us and gently placed my lips on his. It only lasted a second but the look on his face told me a lot more than he knew.

I'm brave today. Watch out, Kouichi.

"Um.." Kouichi blinked his big eyes.

I grinned at him as his face grew the prettiest shade of pink I've ever seen. He gulped, his eyes never leaving mine.

What am I doing?

"Hm?" I smirked at him.

"That's.. um.. that's the ending.." Kouichi moved his eyes toward the ground, "..in my dream."

I felt shocked but I didn't let my face show it.

He lied to me; he remembers the dream. So.. I kissed him in that dream? What's that mean? Am I being desired or am I sheltering him?

Kouichi spoke again, "..why.. do you do that?"

"Aren't we that close?" I shot him a grin and nudged his shoulder.

"I guess," Kouichi seemed hesitant, but content.

"You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that."

My eyes widened; his words surprised me.

"What?" He frowned, I think the surprise on my face triggered him.

I laughed, "..so, wait, you do like it?"

"U-um.." he turned away sheepishly, "..I don't m-mind it."

I think a panic set in. I didn't let it show physically but mentally I was bouncing all over the place.

Is his words true or are they pressured?

I didn't know what came over me but I brought him into another embrace; one tighter and with more meaning. He returned the hug; the warmth from his body could make me fall asleep. I pulled back before that actually happened.

He suddenly yawned. I grinned.

"Want to go home?" I asked gently, taking his hand in mine.

He turned towards me slightly and barely nodded. Maybe I was the one to suggest going home in the first place but I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to stay here and make up our own ending once more.