(Bloodsucker-flowars,guardin)

This character development really makes me happy.

KOUJI POV

A month had passed since the broken engagement and a lot of things felt different in the group. Takuya called the both of us trying to apologize and at first I ignored his calls. Kouichi is quick to forgive and it only vigorously upsets me. At that point, Junpei actually said he didn't blame us for not wanting to ever talk to Takuya again. It only angered me more that Takuya thought such a simple 'sorry' could get him forgiveness. If it wasn't for Kouichi pressing me into forgiving him I probably would never.

I try to give him the benefit of the doubt now. I know he doesn't have the best luck in relationships. It's his fault, though. He's the one jumping at everyone all the time. He cheats on them and gets dumped in return; it's just bad karma.

Lately things have been getting a bit better between all of us. There was plenty of privacy and space, yet we couldn't help missing each other sometimes. I couldn't put my finger on it, what was so different? Is it just getting older?

I suppose time heals all wounds but that's such a basic way of thinking.

Everyone seemed happier, even I was smiling a lot more than usual, but I really only let Kouichi see this. We've been taking turns mentally, almost pushing each other to be better. He opens up a lot more and I do, too. I even let Takuya come hang out with us a few days ago without putting up a fight. Takuya even got drunk and didn't make a move on Kouichi. It was nice, for once I wasn't angry around him.

Usually I would disagree to any kind of get-together but it's been kind of soothing to just be by Kouichi's side, no matter where. I mean, I didn't really like company but then again, I didn't like a lot of things.

This got me stuck, however.

Back then, I hated parties to the extreme and I would have never agreed to go to one filled with strangers. I know I've been an asshole in the past and it was only somewhat over now, but I wanted to be someone Kouichi can be proud of. That much I knew, but sometimes the antisocial protocol took ahold of me.

I just need to be better, it's about damn time. Someone strong like Junpei; he's level headed, honest and in touch with his emotions. I could be that way, I think. Kouichi adores Junpei and I see why.

Takuya's birthday is today. He invited everyone tonight for a late gathering but I wasn't sure about showing up at first. On the bright side, I'd have Kouichi with me and it makes me feel relaxed. Takuya had said his folks gave him the house for a night as a present but I feel like giving the reckless brunette unsupervised freedom while drunk is a bad idea.

It's ironic; both Takuya and I got 'houses' for our birthday. Maybe my dad had immoral intentions but it's kind of the same, in a way.

This was the part I dreaded the most. Takuya told me he invited some stupid girls he met; yes, plural. He can be such a flirt.

I didn't like how he told me, of all people. It was as if he expected me to be overjoyed about these random females. I knew he was looking for love still, but I couldn't seem to get out of the one I found myself in.

Junpei was outside in the car waiting for my twin and I. This time Tomoki couldn't even go with us, but it almost relieved me. I felt the party could be a bit too crazy, maybe enough to where Kouichi would want to leave.

What a dream.

He only wants to go because Takuya asked him to. Kouichi is such a pushover sometimes. I know they're friends but there's an angel and devil whispering in my ears at all times. I'm so back and forth between my opinions on them together.

I need to listen to the angel on my shoulder more than ever right now.

Before we left out the front door, I took one solid look at Kouichi. He was wearing the same hoodie he has always worn, but he looked different. Everyday he seemed different but physically nothing has changed about him. It's my eyes, I think.

Glowing? Radiant? Cute? Perfect?

Those stupid words in my stupid head wouldn't go away. Even the smiles he shoots me gives me these violent butterflies.

Is this what Takuya feels with every girl? Can't be.

I sat in the front with Junpei as he drove off.

"Did you guys get him a present?" Junpei asked with a bashful look.

"What are we, twelve?" I huffed.

"I didn't know.. what to get," Kouichi pouted admitting this.

"I'm actually glad I'm not the only one," Junpei laughed.

I could see Kouichi eyes in the rear view mirror. He seemed to be gazing at the passing trees and houses. Suddenly his eyes shifted, meeting mine. We stared at each other in the mirror for a very quick second before I turned towards the passenger window.

He saw me staring.. shit, I actually feel my cheeks getting warm.

I heard Junpei snort next to me and it took all I had not to hit him.

"Shut up," I mouthed to him, glaring.

"Sorry," he mouthed back with a grin.

I rolled my eyes.

"So, Kouichi," Junpei glanced at him, then back in front of him to focus on his driving.

"Hm?" Kouichi turned his head.

I didn't look at him, I could just visualize his cute and oblivious face. I faced the window, starting to feel my cheeks grow hot once more.

So this is love?

I hate it.

"Do you think we should stop at a store? Maybe I can run inside and buy him a bottle," Junpei suggested, "..I could say it's from all of us."

Kouichi smiled, "..yeah, sure-"

"Say it's from just you," I eyed the older boy dully.

"No," Junpei replied with a provoking grin.

"Yes," I responded, challenging him further.

We shared a grin, our bickering wasn't really arguing, it was only humorous.

"Let's get this over with," Kouichi grumbled innocently, "..I hate parties."

I smiled wide, almost chuckling.

That statement is one of the many reasons as to why I like you so much.

Junpei stopped and bought a bottle just as quickly as the idea was purposed. We ended up at Takuya's place in a matter of minutes. I can't remember the last time we came over, we were probably too young.

Junpei knocked and Takuya answered, grinning insatiably. I expected for him to jump on Junpei or embrace Kouichi but he didn't. He only greeted us with a respectable wave.

I felt shocked.

It's times like this where I'm seeing Takuya develop as a person. He's grown into this charming and courteous man instead of the womanizer and knucklehead I used to know. Everyone's growing around me; I see it. I'm growing, too.

I have mixed emotions about this.

"Come on in. Only a couple of my co-workers are here right now," Takuya explained leading us inside.

He shut the door behind us. I looked towards the kitchen to see a boy and girl standing with cups in their hands and chatting. They glanced over to us as Takuya motioned them over.

"This is Hana, she's my kitchen manager," Takuya pointed to the girl.

She smiled at us and slightly nodded. She had extremely short hair, almost as short as Junpei's. She wore a lot of black and no make up, probably one of the more boy-ish girls I've ever seen. It made me wonder.

"This is Hiroto, Hana's little brother. He's in the kitchen with us, too," Takuya grinned, pointing at a rather tall boy.

Takuya may have said 'little' brother but he sure wasn't anything small. He stood tall, just like Junpei but had a young face just like Tomoki.

"Nice to meet you guys!" Junpei greeted, "..I didn't know you were pals with your coworkers, Takuya?"

"Yeah, they're cool people," Takuya marveled, "..Hana took me under her wing!"

"I did," Hana laughed, "..I won't lie, he was hopeless at first but he's getting better. Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to be good at all.. like ever."

Takuya glowered, "..okay, Hana."

Hana and Hiroto chuckled and Junpei snorted.

The first thirty minutes or so wasn't too bad. We all sat on the couch and conversed. I stayed silent most of the time and Kouichi barely spoke. It was definitely because the new people probably made him nervous.

That is, until there's alcohol involved. We weren't even drinking at first. Maybe liquor is a community ice breaker and a conversation starter but I guess only for Kouichi and I.

The knock at the door made Takuya jump with joy. I wasn't sure who he was expecting but three more people walked in. Two boys and one girl. Takuya introduced us but I lost all interest in remembering names. He informed us they were his old buddies from high school and it only disgusted me. I'm sure they wouldn't remember me, I barely attended.

After awhile of Takuya mingling I could see his old high school friends didn't remember Kouichi either. Takuya didn't tell them, but they acted like it was their first time ever meeting Kouichi and I.

Which is nice, we both didn't have the greatest time in school.

Awhile later more people showed up, and someone began asking for alcohol. Before I knew it we all had cups filled and they're were too many people here to count.

Even the girls Takuya had talked about.

"Oh, yeah, here!" Junpei handed Takuya a bottle, "..happy birthday from all of us!"

Junpei smirked at me but I just rolled my eyes. Kouichi looked bashful and maybe a little guilty. It's funny that the emotions were so easy to pick up from him sometimes.

"Thanks, guys," Takuya pouted happily, hugging the bottle.

Almost an hour passed and I lost track of any bottles being ingested. It honestly seemed like everyone was drunk, but I wasn't sure if they just acted like a bunch of animals around other people.

I don't like parties.. but I really hate wild parties.

Kouichi and I sat on the couch, sipping our drinks. Takuya made sure our cups were always full every chance that he got. That charming and respectful man that he's grown into changed back into the knucklehead with the sudden intoxication. I wasn't surprised. At one point he stumbled over to fill our cups again but almost fell over with how drunk he had been.

"WHOAH, calm down, birthday boy," Junpei caught him and laughed.

I began to sip for longer periods of time. I knew I had anger problems but I never felt anxious. Right now, I do.

I can only imagine how Kouichi feels.

He stared blankly, sipping the alcohol. He did a good job of covering his face with that cup he held. I actually kind of missed his face.

"Hey, want me to introduce you to Kimi?" Takuya slurred his words into Junpei's direction.

Junpei rose a brow, "..who?"

"You wanna meet Kimi?" Takuya turned to me and grinned.

"Not really," I grumbled.

Takuya handed me an almost full bottle and strolled over to a group of girls giggling on the other side of the room. No matter how much time goes by, some things just don't change I guess.

"You good?" Junpei cocked his head at me.

"Yeah," I said, glancing at Kouichi.

Kouichi nodded, "..I'm okay."

"Okay, I believe you," Junpei rubbed the back of his neck.

I appreciate Junpei acting like our parent but it's actually kind of irritating. Honestly, if Kouichi and I weren't okay would we still be in this house?

"Hi!" A girl ran up to Junpei and practically jumped into his arms.

Junpei didn't seem amused but he was too much of a nice guy to tell her to go away.

"Oh, hello," Junpei smiled very awkwardly.

"I'm Kimi," she giggled as she introduced herself.

Oh.. Great.

Automatically I knew that girl was a mess. Her dark hair was frazzled, her pink lips begged for attention and she wore a skirt a little too short for any parent's liking.

Kimi quickly made her way towards me and I frowned deeply. She leaned into me slightly, shooting me a look full of temptation. I stood my ground, though, she didn't bother me too much. She was probably used to getting her way with certain movements and words but it wouldn't work with me.

"I like your jacket," Kimi drunkly said in awe, biting her lip with subtle admiration.

"It's just a jacket," I murmured, refraining from rolling my eyes at her.

"It's so nice! Is it denim?" She stroked my chest, obviously flirting.

Her fingers traveled slowly downward. Kouichi shifted next to me, his face was red and his expression read resentment, maybe bitterness.

What is that?

"Yeah.. okay," I sighed, pushing her hand away gently, "..I think your friend's are calling you."

I lied and pointed to the direction of the group of females. Takuya was waving dumbly at us as he noticed Kimi getting too friendly. I actually wanted to murder him. He knew he who invited, this isn't a surprise. As a matter of fact, it's practically a death wish for him.

"Oh, I think I heard," Kimi replied obliviously before strolling away.

Junpei chuckled watching her prance away.

"She's kind of cute," Junpei joked with me.

"So is my trash can," I muttered, taking another swig.

Kouichi giggled and I ceased all movement hearing it. My face softened at him. I love that sound a lot more than he knew.

Junpei left us alone as he headed for the bathroom. I passed the bottle to Kouichi and he drank. After a bit, the party began to move more into the living room, right next to the couches we sat upon. I grabbed Kouichi's hand and lead him into a more private corner. We passed the bottle back and forth over and over, just people watching.

Kimi blew a kiss in my direction and I wanted to vomit. Kouichi seemed on edge seeing this and I couldn't figure it out. Maybe he doesn't like her but maybe it's just empathy. After all, his emotions are sensitive when it comes to me.

I sighed deeply hearing the stereo begin to blare. One girl was dancing on two guys, Takuya was chugging out of the bottle, a few people were playing dart without a dart board and I was just ready to leave.

I want to be here, though.. Kouichi is here.

I glanced at Kouichi and saw his face was still red but his eyes were sparkling. I think he was finally drunk. I think I was, too. Watching everyone made me notice my vision start to slow and blur. I guess I just wasn't used to this anymore.

Eventually I lost track of Junpei and I wasn't sure where he went. Did he come back from the bathroom yet?

Kouichi bumped my hand. I glanced at him to see his rosy cheeks smiling before me. I felt shocked, he had these alluring eyes holding so much emotion it honestly scared me. Something was in them; something deep and dark.

It's enticing. What the hell is it?

I wanted to take him away so bad. I wanted to ask him what that look was and what he was thinking but I never got the chance. Takuya began to chant something that got the entire house party going.

I watched Kouichi smile as the party shouted 'chug' repeatedly. Kouichi pulled gently on my sleeve like he wanted to see what was happening.

How could I not see?

It was the most annoying choir of people I've ever seen. Kouichi just gave me heart palpitations with every movement and smile, though he didn't speak.

Takuya chugged and finished a bottle and everyone cheered as loud as they could. Drinks and bottles were held as high as they could hold them and some spilt on the carpet. Suddenly, Takuya pointed in my direction and I felt immediately threatened.

"You're turn! Chug! Chug!" He grinned widely, repeating as loud as he could.

Everyone chimed in. I lied before, this was definitely the most annoying choir of people I've ever heard. This controlling chorus of drunken direction only made me want to rip my ears off.

"You can do it! I'll help you finish the bottle, too!" Kouichi sweetly whispered convincingly to me.

If it wasn't for him, I probably would have just walked away. I sighed, giving in to the wants of others. I think I wanted to impress Kouichi, if I'm being honest.

Well, I actually know this.

I chugged the bottle, letting Kouichi finish the rest. My throat burned only for a second. The way he held the bottle so high made me feel weak at the knees. I instantly couldn't concentrate on the pain I felt in my esophagus.

A group of animated people rallied over to me, cheering and clapping. Takuya handed me another bottle, one half gone. I wasn't sure if I should drink it. I didn't know who's mouth it had on it and it only grossed me out.

Takuya grabbed Kouichi by the shoulders and beamed frantically, "..you're so cool!"

"Cool?" Kouichi stared at him in awe.

I frowned, I didn't like how close their faces were to each other.

In an instant I felt arms wrap around me. Kimi screamed into my jacket reminding me of a crazed mega-fan. I scowled, defiantly attempting to push her off of me. She was a lot stronger than I realized. Maybe the liquor gave her super strength, but I didn't know for sure.

Why did Takuya even invite this loose girl? Does she just have a thing for denim or what? I'm going to end up running away like I did last time.

Junpei chuckled, unexpectedly walking up to us from the sea of people.

Where the hell has he been? Has he just been around us? Maybe the alcohol is making me blind.

"You want to play the pocky game with me?" Takuya asked Kouichi a little too excitedly.

"I haven't played since I was young," Kouichi pouted.

His nonexistent stutter just confirmed his inebriation. Knowing he was this intoxicated worried me but it reassured me a bit reminding myself that he was with Junpei and I. With the two of us as Kouichi's bodyguards no one would dare to mess with him.

Well, then again, there is a thing called 'liquid courage'.

"But it's my birthday!" Takuya pressured, "..please!"

"Okay," Kouichi smiled, giving in so easily it hurt my heart.

I frowned, immensely irked at this promised event. It's the last thing I wanted to see but I had to grin and bare it. It's just an innocent game and I can't like my emotions get in the way anymore.

Kimi poked my chest a few times, "..want to watch? Or.. do you want to do something else?"

She motioned towards the bathroom and winked. This sent a shiver of disgust down my spine. I could have vomited once more, merely just thinking about it made me sick.

I'd rather cut off my-

"No," I exhaled lowly, "..just watch."

Kimi groaned and pulled my arm over to watch the two boys play the game. There was a small opportunity that I took and I stepped away from Kimi. She thankfully had no idea and wandered over to Takuya and the other girls.

Junpei poked my arm, "..still good?"

"I'm good," I grumbled unconvincingly.

Junpei sighed, "..'Kay."

I know he's just making sure I was okay to be in a party and even a situation like this but.. it's just annoying. I don't need anyone to look out for me.

One of the guys Takuya had invited handed him a box of pocky. Immediately Takuya put one end in his mouth and leaned towards Kouichi. The emphasis he held was a bit unnerving but I need to give him the benefit of the doubt here.

I need to remember.. it's just a game.

Kouichi bit the other end gently, nervousness growing apparent with even millimeter his mouth traveled. It was awkward enough they did this, but they had a crowd watching them, too.

I crossed my arms watching their noses within a hair of touching. If this went any further I'd probably punch Takuya right then and there; but then again, should I really be this angry? Kouichi wanted to play but he's drunk. It's not up to him, it's the alcohol, isn't it?

All of a sudden Kimi pushed Takuya into Kouichi and their lips slightly met. Both of the boys were glowing red as Kimi and the crowd began to cheer and laugh. I wasn't surprised, I expected something dumb like this to happen.

I just wish it wouldn't.

"I didn't mean to!" Takuya frowned, his eyes darted to me and Kouichi.

"S-sorry!" Kouichi covered his face with his sleeves.

The party of people chimed in with horse laughter and vulgar comments. My blood boiled with every tasteless word and explicit term said by the strangers.

"Kouji," Junpei rested his hand on my shoulder.

"What?" I clenched my teeth.

"It's a joke. Calm down," he whispered into my ear.

I rolled my eyes and groaned, "..whatever."

Takuya glanced at me, I think he knew what I was thinking. Sure I was angry, but honestly how much could I be? He didn't actually kiss Kouichi, that stupid girl made him.

Kouichi's eyes peeled out of his sleeves and our eyes locked momentarily. Kimi ran over to me, practically shoving Kouichi and some others. Kouichi stumbled over to Junpei and hid, obviously embarrassed. There was another look on his face; one of discontent.

"Let's play!" Kimi pleaded, "..come on!"

"No, thanks," I sighed, eyeing her rudely as she pouted.

"Playing hard to get?" Kimi taunted, putting Pocky in her mouth, "..c'mon!"

The crowd began to cheer and chant once more. I growled lowly, just wanting to disappear or in the least make them shut up.

I thought about all of my options; if I left, I'd leave Kouichi and if I left with him then he might be sad. I think he wants to be here for Takuya.

He wants to be here..

I have to do this, just to shut everyone up.

Uh, whatever.

I bit down on the other end, slowly chewing. Her face was pink and giddy. I was about to pull away before she acted so fast and forced her mouth onto mine. She gripped around my neck and held my head. This completely took me off guard. I heard the lively crowd hoot and holler once more as she dug her tongue into my mouth. She tasted like liquor and chocolate. It might have been a better combination than what I was expecting but for some reason I just felt dirty.

I pushed her off at the same time she pulled away, smiling deviously.

"You're a good kisser," she complimented loudly.

"I didn't kiss you back," I growled, but no one in the crowd heard my words.

Takuya jumped and patted my back, "..hey! Want to play with me?"

He laughed, holding the box of pocky in the air. Takuya winked at me, I know he was just joking but it took all I had not to throw him across the room.

"Idiot," I shook my head watching someone from the crowd grab the box.

I supposed other people wanted to play. Just as soon as the attention came, it had went. The crowd dispersed around me and it moved to a couple of girls playing the game. I looked behind me but I couldn't find Kouichi or Junpei.

Where did they go? The bathroom? Shit, I feel like crap and this party is starting to get on my nerves. I just want to brush my teeth.

I went outside to find Kouichi but found a small group of boys in the dark corner of the yard instead. The stood in a circle, a big cloud of smoke enveloped them. They all had bottle and cigarettes. Kouichi wasn't around so I gave in and asked to bum one. They quickly lit it for me and offered a joint. I didn't take it, however. I already did one bad thing, I couldn't do another. I hid behind the back of the house; the last thing I wanted was Kouichi to catch me.

Behind the house was a few trees and a bigger back yard. There was a fire pit that was lit with two lonely people sitting by it and talking quietly amongst themselves. Actually, those people looked kind of familiar.

"Having fun?"

"I don't know anymore."

"What's wrong?"

The figure shrugged, "..I don't know."

It was Junpei and Kouichi.

I wanted to go over to them but I wanted this cigarette a little more right now. I decided it was best to quickly smoke this and hide my body behind the tree. Maybe I was eavesdropping, but I had a weird feeling I should.

KOUICHI POV

"I'm guessing there's too many people here for you?" Junpei leaned towards the fire, poking it with a stick.

I barely nodded, I could feel my lower lip protruding into a pout. Everything about this night seemed odd and I wasn't in control of my emotions at all anymore.

"Kouichi, why so sour?" He cooed.

I shrugged grumpily and mumbled, "..I don't know."

Junpei smirked, "..I think you do."

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't get pissed off until that girl kissed Kouji."

"Um.." I couldn't protest, maybe he was right but it only agitated me.

Honestly, a lot of things annoyed me at this party but that girl just made everything worse. Why did Kouji even kiss her? He could have just left, he did it before. Is it selfish to think that it's our thing?

"It's true," Junpei pressed.

"Well.. I .. Kouji doesn't even like her."

Junpei chuckled, "..he doesn't like anyone, well, except you."

I blushed but it wasn't an insane amount. I still felt mad. I didn't know whether I wanted to punch Kouji or that girl more. It was almost a betrayal; maybe a forced betrayal.

"That girl is just.. so dumb," I sighed, letting inebriation take ahold of me, "..she can't just go up to a stranger and kiss them! Kouji's not like that.. he's.. I don't know, why did he kiss her back? It's annoying. She's just so dumb."

"Wow, you're acting like such a little kid right now," Junpei covered his mouth to muffle a laugh.

"Well she is! She's been weird with him all night! Stupid compliments and stuff.. blowing him kisses.. I saw it! She's just.. she should learn to take a hint.. leave him alone.. and-"

"Wow. You're so obvious."

"What?"

"Do you even know what your face looks like right now?" He waved his hands, cupping his cheeks in a loving manner.

"W-what?" I became flustered.

Whatever my face looked like, I just wanted to hide now. Junpei saw something and it makes me nervous. I kind of wished I was anywhere else right now.

"Kouichi.." He suddenly grew serious, "..you like Kouji, don't you?"

"W-what? No!" I could feel my face boiling.

What? Why would he say that?

"You're a real bad liar," Junpei nudged my arm.

"Junpei.. don't joke like that," I muttered, staring at the ground.

"I'm not joking. I'm just calling it as I see it."

I frowned, an immense look of displeasure seen in my eyes.

"And you.. you definitely like him," Junpei smirked and shrugged.

No.. no, wait, this is wrong.

"But.. he's a boy-"

"Kouichi, what year is it? Seriously, love is love. Don't think so traditionally.. and don't look at me like I'm crazy! Just look at how you guys act with each other. You both treat eachother differently from everyone else. He gets all angry and protective every time someone just looks at you!" Junpei shook his head, "..you're acting like that right now, too, and so openly around me. Who knows how long you've even been like that?"

Is he right? Can't be. Why is this mad-man making so much sense?

I thought back to that day at the tea shop. I got really angry thinking he was staring at the girls through window. I wasn't sure why but I think I'm starting to understand something.

Is this it? Is this.. jealousy? Am I just being like this because of separation anxiety, abandonment issues or do I.. really like.. Kouji? Kouji likes me? Wait.

I only get this insane amount of butterflies around him. Isn't this just a twin thing?

No.. it's not.. can't be..

My drunken state was fading with each word but this pep talk wasn't penetrating. I was scared to let it. His words were shocking, but only that he knew. My own feelings didnt surprise me too much, it's as if I've always known.

Junpei sighed, "..you know, it's kind of frustrating to watch the both of you."

I turned my head at him, "..why?"

"It's frustrating to watch two people obviously in love and they won't do anything about it."

"Junpei! Don't say that," my brow furrowed.

"What? 'Love'? Grow up," Junpei spoke jokingly, "..you're not even denying it right now."

I grew silent.

There's something between Kouji and I, isn't there? I have a feeling Junpei is right. If I didn't feel sick before, I do now.

KOUJI'S POV

That conversation kept me in shock and still so long the cigarette I held had the longest ash on it. My heart was pounding yet the beating stopped simultaneously. My legs felt like jello but stiff at the same time. I just wanted to run up and hug Kouichi but my body wouldn't let me.

No way.. there's no way. Kouichi feels the same way? I need to say something.. there's nothing that could go wrong. Why do I still feel nervous? I still feel.. confused or.. unorganized.

I leaned my back into the tree, throwing the cigarette and exhaled slowly. My chest felt tight and my hands felt clammy. It was so hard to breathe right now.

Should I just tell him? I need to. I know how he feels now.. just witnessing the way he acted after being confronted was proof enough. I told him before, I can do it again. Maybe this time he will listen. Maybe this time..

Suddenly the liquor in my system vanished.

Suddenly I felt brave and self conscious all at once.

Suddenly I made a decision.

I began to wander over to the boys, eagerly and hesitant. Their conversation came to a hush as I approached them. Kouichi wouldn't look at me but the glow of the fire couldn't hide his red cheeks no matter how bright the fire burned. Junpei winked at me, as if giving me a hint of fortune.

I sat down beside Kouichi just as Junpei stood.

"I'll be back. Bathroom," Junpei grinned and quickly made his way back to the house.

It was silent for a few minutes between Kouichi and I. Thoughts raced through my head of a confession. The conversation between Junpei and Kouichi repeated in my mind.

Two boys could have feelings for each other but Kouichi is my twin. Are these real feelings? Is it actual love or do we just a twin bond that we both experienced immensely? I had so many questions I couldn't trust Junpei to answer but I feel like I would just have to answer them myself. One day, I'll get the answers, but would I end up alone?

"Hey, Kouichi," I glanced at him but move my eyes back to the fire.

"Y-yeah?"

Kouichi stuttered; it was a sign of sobriety and nervousness for me. Just like our surroundings, there was a fire burning just the same in my chest. The flames grew with every second of ever day and eventually it was going to be the death of me. I should speak, I know, I need to say something or confess anything but something held me back. There was something inside me that caused this intense nausea and maybe that was the same exact thing that ruined my confession.

"Want to go home?" I asked Kouichi quietly, mentally kicking myself for my cowardice.

Kouichi nodded.

I know I chickened out. I hate myself for it.

If anyone's interested, my comic for this story is on tapas!

"Main Sequence"