"Professor?"
Shippa's hand paused in the middle of the point he was writing on the board, and he turned to look at the student who'd called out, one of his more earnest students, sitting at the front of the classroom.
"What is it, Noemi?" he asked.
"It's your birthday today, isn't it?"
It took him a moment, so filled was his mind with details of post-Great War technological developments, to process the question. But then he looked over the heads of his students over to the large calendar that was stuck on the back wall, one he'd adapted himself so that it had spaces for 'on this day…' entries as well as anything that was actually happening on that day of that year. Birthdays were not something he'd thought of putting on there for a long time, but all the same, all it took was looking at the calendar to remind him that it was indeed his birthday. Well, that and the crepe myrtle tree that was slowly reaching the end of its blooming season, still regal outside the window of his classroom.
"How do you know that?"
"It's in the commemorative book in the library-not your one, the main library." The boy next to Noemi said.
"He knows it's not his library, Faro," Noemi rolled her eyes. "We don't get access to that until next year. But yeah, Professor Shippa, it's mentioned in there. Not the year though."
"A lot of us have uncertain backgrounds, Noemi." Shippa explained.
"Yeah, you told us this, but like, it's your birthday!"
This came from a girl from the group in the middle of his classroom, a noisier but still well-meaning bunch. The girl in question was their leader, and when Shippa looked over at her she straightened up further and looked him directly in the eye.
"Yeah, it's your birthday, are you not doing anything for it?"
"I take it you mean to celebrate?" Shippa clarified.
"Yeah?"
The girl's group, as well as Noemi, Faro and a few others, nodded in agreement. The other members of the class seemed puzzled, but also curious and interested. Shippa had to admit, he was curious and interested too. Why are they so interested in this?
"Not really."
Most jaws in the classroom dropped.
"You're not celebrating your birthday?" Noemi gasped.
Shippa shrugged one shoulder.
"It is not something that I have thought of for a long time. After all, at this point it does not really matter how old I am, really. As you know, I will more than likely still be alive even after you all have grown old and died."
"So? Birthdays are birthdays? You don't have to like, have a big party or anything, but you should do something at least, Professor Shippa. It's sad otherwise." Faro exclaimed.
"I can understand why you all think that, I suppose. With so little years behind you, each one must feel like a lifetime has passed. But when you're immortal, or you've lost your mortality, however you think of it, the passing of a single year isn't that significant. But let's get back to-"
"Yeah, no, not buying that." The girl in the middle scoffed.
Shippa blinked, and then slowly put his chalk back down.
"Why not, then, Aveline?"
Aveline pouted.
"If anything, it's because you're…what, 400 years old or whatever, that you should be celebrating? That's really cool, you know. Not like the fact you had to, and all that, we know that, but just like…you're always saying it's fascinating being able to witness the changing of the times first hand and all that so why not celebrate that every year that goes by is a year longer that you can do that for?"
Aveline's cheeks were puffed out now, making her look a lot younger than her years, or somewhat like a hamster. The others in the class did not look quite that indignant, but they all clearly agreed with her. Shippa sighed, and flicked his eyes to the calendar at the back. Almost every day had something filled in for 'On this day', most with multiple things for different years.
"Well, I'm glad you feel very strongly about that, but it has been a very long time since my birthday really meant anything to me. In any case, the day is practically almost over…and so will this lesson if we do not get along with it."
Shippa then gave the class his best stern look, and meaningfully picked up his chalk. The students nodded obediently and picked up their own pens. Although he caught Noemi, Faro and Aveline exchange meaningful looks, thankfully none of them mentioned the matter of birthdays for the rest of the lesson.
All the same though, he could not get it out of his mind.
…
After school, sitting in his personal library off the side of the classroom, while marking work and preparing their class's next assignments, Shippa told Cinnabuns about the conversation that he'd had in the class.
"That's sweet, though," Cinn said once Shippa had finished. "It's coming from a good place."
"Oh yes, it definitely is." Shippa said. "Still, it's strange enough to think about, isn't it?"
Cinnabuns had become lost in thought for a moment, and Shippa waited, watching his friend's face cautiously. Perhaps he was just musing about the nature of birthdays for people like them, or perhaps he was thinking about Louie. It had been a few years since the fallout of that and despite the wrongness of it; Shippa couldn't help but worry about how fragile it had revealed his friend to be. Not least because until then, he hadn't realised it.
"What, birthdays?" Cinn asked eventually.
"Yeah."
"I don't even remember mine anymore. Doesn't mean anything to me. I remember the kids' ones, though. All of them."
"Oh yes," Shippa nodded, realising he remembered this. "Cupcakes and a song, right?"
"Yeah, nothing big. And it's the same for everyone, so-"
"It's alright, I know." Shippa said quickly.
Cinnabuns let out a long breath, and folded his arms, leaning them against the table. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, suddenly looking a lot more tired.
"So, you think it's still okay for me to do that?"
"Of course it is."
Not wanting to say any more, Shippa looked down at the essay he was still marking, and spent a few more moments going through that. For a little while, the two of them were silent as they continued with their tasks, and then Cinn sighed and looked up.
"Perhaps your kids are right."
"Oh?"
Shippa looked up, tilting his head at Cinnabuns, eyes glowing from the light of the oil-lamps they were using. Now, he was resting his chin in his hands.
"My age still feels meaningless to me, really. After all, if it really was worth anything I'd have known better than to hurt Louie. I don't think I really deserve anything like that. But you….maybe even the others. It'd be nice, wouldn't it? To find a way of making something good out of this."
Shippa frowned. He had to admit, though sometimes he did feel the exhaustion of realising that his life did not come with the inevitable ending of everyone else's, the end point that made life what it was, he didn't necessarily understand the real, nitty-gritty difficulties. He knew they were valid, he wouldn't dare diminish his friends' feelings. But it was as he said, he loved being able to see history unfold as it happened, have the unique perspective of having lived through so many eras and being able to understand how they affected the here and now. And he'd never wanted the things that some of the others had given up, and where he may have wanted some a little bit, he'd already long resigned himself to a life devoid of those things anyway. If anything, he'd gained from being a part of Kawaakari. Allegiances, friendship, knowledge, security.
Maybe he had too many images, of painful deaths and heart wrenching separations, stuck in his head. Maybe he was struggling to shoulder and alleviate the pain his friends had-Nyamai's instability, Snow's irreversible curse and now Cinnabuns. Then there were the joint pains that the immortality had not eased for him. Perhaps he could not truly say that it had all been good, not with things like that.
Even with all that though, he didn't really understand.
"Ah, forget I said anything-"
"No, I see what you mean it's just…well, honestly, I'm just confused."
"Oh, not something your books and records can explain for you?"
Shippa had to squint, but he could see something like a smile tugging at Cinnabun's lips, and he found himself taken aback at the wave of relief, having to grab for his glass of water and take a sip to keep him anchored. Outside of times he'd walked past Cinnabun's classroom these past few years, he realised that he hadn't seen his friend smile. That he hadn't really tried because of what had happened.
Two wrongs don't make a right, though.
"Sadly not." Shippa returned wryly.
"Well, we'll have to do something about that."
"Oh?"
Cinnabuns simply tapped the side of his nose and laughed-the unexpectedness of the sound making Shippa jump.
"Wait and see, my friend, wait and see."
…
When Shippa headed back to his classroom after lunch a few days later, at the end of the week, he realised that something was up. He'd left the curtains open and the lights off, but now the curtains were closed and he was sure he could detect a pinprick of light, enough to cast shadows against the curtains. As he got closer, he could hear whispers, the contents of them indistinct but the scattered, rising, energetic tones all too clear.
Frowning, he slowed his footsteps and almost crept towards the door. The whispers started to become clearer.
"Oh, oh, I think he's coming."
"Faro, Neriah, Elodie, Jun, Rikio, the lights, quick, quick…"
"Ahhhhhh…."
Slowly, Shippa closed his hands around the doorknob, and then twisted it, stepping into the gloomy classroom. Before he could process the scene before him though, it abruptly changed as a number of electric light-switches were flicked, the room was flooded with bright light and his students burst out from around the rearranged desks (all pushed together to form a larger desk) and called out.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PROFESSOR SHIPPA!"
Shippa blinked and took in the appearance of the classroom. Somehow, in the hour or so he'd been gone, not only had the class managed to push the tables together, but they'd also draped it with a pretty light blue tablecloth. On the table itself was a large chocolate tray cake, with chocolate stars and icing balloons decorating it. There were also various coloured skinny candles stuck into it. Around the cake were different saucers containing different types of snack foods, two large bottles of soft drink and a stack of paper cups, and a couple of glass bottles with what looked like hastily-picked flowers from the school garden. Someone had tied ribbons around the glass bottles, and these ribbons matched those tied around a couple of book-shaped parcels wrapped in gaudy wrapping paper, which sat next to a messy stack of rainbow-hued envelopes. Then, across the walls, streamers and paper chains had been stuck up, as well as a string of what looked like stars, of the type both Mshrupo and Reoni were able to make. A few balloons were also floating about here and there.
"Well, it's belated birthday, technically," Noemi, apparently the leader of this little set-up, stepped forward to say. "But Professor, you cannot really have thought that we could let you go without some kind of celebration?"
"We got your tutor group and your freshman class in on it too, so we didn't do all of this by ourselves-some of the cards are from them too." Faro added.
"This is…." Shippa blinked, and walked around slowly, well aware of his students eagerly checking his reaction. "It looks like you worked very hard on all of this. I appreciate all of it."
And he did. It was impossible to look at all of this and not see just how much effort had gone into it. The love, too. This was not the sort of trouble one would go to if the person it was for wasn't worth it, after all. That much, he knew. The dedication of it threatened to steal his breath away and make tears come to his eyes, because he'd thought such loyalty was something that he'd only ever have from the others.
"Yes, all of this looks great….but, what are we going to do about your lesson today?"
"it's okay, we have a proposal for that!" Noemi declared.
"Oh?"
Noemi nodded to Aveline, who put her hands on her hips and gave him a meaningful look.
"We're going through the previous assignment first, right? So, come blow out your candles and cut your cake, then we can eat while you go through that…and then the rest of the lesson can be the party. We can have an extra session over the weekend if need be, or Monday lunchtime."
Shippa looked at Aveline's determined, defiant expression and then at the faces of the rest of his class. Well now, I can hardly refuse when they're looking like that, can I?
"Very well then. We'll do it that way then, and continue the other half of today's lesson in Monday's lunchtime."
"YAY!"
The classroom broke out into riotous cheer, and then Noemi and Aveline shepherded Shippa around to stand behind the cake, while Faro lit the candles, and then two other students filmed while the whole class sung to him, and then commanded him to blow out the candles.
"You have to make a wish while you do it," Faro informed him. "But you can't tell us what it is, or it won't come true."
"Oh? What sort of magic is that?"
"I don't think it's actual magic…but you should do it anyway!" Aveline declared.
Shippa smiled indulgently, and then obliged, a wish coming to his mind a lot easier than he'd expected. The students cheered again, and became merrier when he cut the cake out, and Noemi and Aveline distributed paper plates and napkins from a bag that he hadn't noticed before. They settled somewhat to discuss the essay, but the excitement was simmering under the surface, and the moment he put the papers away in his desk so that they could enjoy the party, it bubbled right back up again.
They ate and chatted, with the students having a lot to say about the different things they did for their birthdays, with some insisting on introducing him to a couple of party games they'd played when they were younger, while another introduced them to a game that their parents had played when they themselves were children. He went through some of the cards, saving some for later on so that he could open the presents-which were indeed books. One of them was one he already had, but he didn't have the heart to tell the group who'd chosen it. He already decided that he would keep it anyway, despite the unnecessary space it'd take up.
Photographs were taken, with promises to give them to Shippa for 'those records you like to keep'. Shippa, determined to impart some knowledge this lesson, told them about various past festivals and traditions, some of them now long obsolete, but apart from that, he just let himself relax. And though the entire experience felt a little remote, and extremely baffling, he found himself liking it a lot, to the point that when he looked at the time and realised it'd soon be the end of the day, it was almost a disappointment to have to tell them that this was the case.
…
The students, thankfully, had already decided to take full responsibility for clear-up, and so once he'd taken his allocation of cake and leftover snacks (allowing them to share the rest, because it was only fair when they'd bought it all out of their own pocket) he retreated back into his personal library and concentrated on re-jigging his lesson plans for the next week to help accommodate the missed content. Munching absently at food, books and guides open around him as he made notes with his feather pen, he barely noticed when the eager chatter of the students finally left the classroom.
And thus, he didn't notice when a short while later, the classroom door unexpectedly swung open and someone strode through it. Not until his personal library's door swung open and someone made a frustrated sound.
Shippa looked up, blinking, and then shook his head.
"I have said, Bin, that my carpet isn't compatible with high heels."
"Then it's about time you changed it."
"I like my carpet."
Deep red, thick and soft, possibly suited more to a bedroom than a library, it was a carpet that complimented the light gold of the walls and matched his wine-coloured curtains. It also reminded him of his old study, a long, long time ago, in the place he'd last been happy before Kawaakari had come to be. While he did update the room occasionally to meet contemporary needs, the essence of it was a memory, and thus he was never going to change it.
"Ah, well," Bin sighed. "That doesn't matter. What I want to know is, why aren't you getting ready? Are you really going to wear that sad suit?"
"What's wrong with my suit? Besides, there's plenty of time before the staff meeting, isn't there?"
"Yes, but it's not a normal staff meeting. Get yourself dressed, in something sharp, okay?"
At this, Shippa looked up, and realised that Bin was quite dressed up, more so than was usual for them, in a snazzy and slightly complicated looking number in her usual white and pink/rose gold combination. The high heeled boots that she'd had to take off to get in were rose gold and blindingly shiny.
"Not a normal staff meeting?"
Bin rolled their eyes heavily.
"I've said too much already, but just come, okay? Do you want me to help you with your outfit?"
"Thanks, but it's fine. I'll manage it."
"Thought you would. High-heel compatibility aside, your taste isn't that bad."
Bin smiled, and then their gaze wandered over to the pile of birthday cards, some of which Shippa still hadn't read yet. They then looked at Shippa and gave a big grin, before nodding at them and going back out again.
Shippa snorted, starting to realise what might be happening, and then tidied everything away so that he could leave.
…
In the end, he decided to keep things simple, choosing to remain with the same black suit he'd worn the whole day, but tucking a coral handkerchief in his breast pocket, and adding two golden pins (one to the lapel, the other to the pocket). He then swapped out his waistcoat for a black and gold paisley one, added a coral neck-tie with a black and gold pin to keep it in place and then threw over his favourite white fluffy cape over one shoulder. Putting in an earring, he considered himself good to go and then made his way up to the staff area.
That, like his classroom after lunch, had been transformed, though not to the same extent. More star chains were draped around, and some pretty looking magical trees in full bloom-including an imitation crepe myrtle- had been dotted around the room. Candles in ornate lanterns had been strung up too, and those along with the stars provided the only lighting-a warm, celebratory ambience. An extra two tables had been pulled out, and while one and the side table had been laden with foods and drinks, the other was in the middle with a white lace table cloth, plates all laid out with fancy cutlery and empty glasses, and various embellishments including place cards. With the exception of Nyamai's-already occupied by the rune-caster herself, looking oddly sweet with her hair down for a change-the chairs had been rearranged, with Cher's and Hade's having been pulled away from their desk. Quiet music played, but it was not clear where from.
"I hear this is your second party of the day."
Cher came up to him, holding a glass of elderflower cordial-Shippa's favourite. Thanking him, Shippa accepted it and explained.
"Yes," he said. "It was a surprise…as is this."
"It was Cinn's idea." Arianna supplied, almost floating up to them. "Yanovi and I came up with the base of the idea, then got everyone to pitch in. Mostly Ru, Snow and the rest of them. But yes, this isn't really anything fancy. Just a buffet dinner, plenty of wine and other drinks, and what is hopefully good music and conversation."
"And that is more than I ever expected…but, he actually came to talk to you all about it?" Shippa asked, surprised.
"Well, no," Arianna huffed. "He was sitting in the garden, in the corner with the roses as he's taken to doing…and then when Yanovi and I came along he took down his mental shields and just….thought at me."
"You have been hard on him." Cher pointed out neutrally.
"Yes, well," Arianna huffed again. "It's not as if I'm making the mistake of completely ignoring someone over something like that again, even if in this case he deserves it. But at the end of the day we're still friends, and I suspect he's torturing himself enough, right?"
"Right."
"It seems like for what it was worth, things going the way they did with Louie was a one-time error of judgement, but we are monitoring him closely in any case. If anything like this happens, we will know. But!" Cher held up a hand. "This is not something that we should be talking about during a birthday dinner. Go, go and enjoy yourself."
"What about this meeting?"
"Ah, there is nothing that we can't talk about next week instead-go, go get a few refreshments before everyone arrives and we sit for dinner."
With that, Cher left them and went back over to Hade's side, joining a conversation with her and Keno. Shippa looked over at Arianna.
"Thank you, for this."
"Ah, it is no problem. Thank your best friend-as I said, it was his idea."
Arianna pointed to the door, which Cinnabuns had just come through, carrying a few packets of paper cups. His eyes were wary, but when they settled on Shippa he smiled, ducking his head slightly so his red hair fell slightly across his eye. After putting the cups down by the side table, he came over.
"I suppose this is the something?" Shippa asked by way of greeting.
"It is indeed." Cinnabuns said, looking more than pleased with himself. "What do you think?"
What do I think? In all honesty, he thought he was more feeling than thinking. Later, when he was able to sit down and write about it, he would probably be better able to untangle it all. But for now, he was just so full of emotion there wasn't anything he could say that would really cover it.
"I'm happy," Shippa opted for in the end. "So, thank you."
Cinn blushed slightly and his smile, though still rare and fragile, was enough to show Shippa that this was enough too.
While the last few people arrived, Shippa went around to chat to everyone, although he held off on eating for the moment. Cinn mostly stayed on the side-lines, watching cautiously, and while Lucifel was also doing the same thing, it was clear they were still separate. But from time to time, Cinn did venture to a conversation Shippa was part of, and Snow went to talk to both him and Lucifel. Finally, when everyone was there, Cher and Hades summoned them to the table, where they all looked for their places to sit. Shippa found himself sitting with Cinn on one side, and Reoni on the other.
"Well, since this is your special occasion, would you like to make a speech?" Hades asked, slightly mischievous.
"You know full well I have nothing prepared as this was a surprise, however…."
Shippa thought for a moment, and then nodded to himself before beginning:
"I'll have to admit that celebrating my birthday is not something I thought about doing, or even thought that there was necessarily any point in doing. I'm not sure if it still is something worth marking in any way. However, I'm starting to realise something that's really been obvious all along…that even if not for my birthday specifically, it's well worth commemorating the time that we all have together. The ups and downs of our bonds, and the fact that we are all here. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that I love you, love all of you. That I very much love this life that I am in, and getting to make my mark on the next generation. And in return, I know that I'm loved and valued and that….that, with all the little things like books and knowledge and my library….well, those are all worthy reasons to celebrate, no? So….to that end, I'd like to propose a toast. To there being many, many more reasons to celebrate together, for ourselves, in the future."
"I second that," Cher said. "So, to reasons to celebrate!"
Arms extended, the glasses clinked, and they all repeated it:
"To reasons to celebrate."
Like wishes made over blown-out candles, Shippa knew this wasn't really magic as such. But as far as he was concerned, it was good as magic. Better, even. Because in this moment, with these people, despite the hardships-he was happy.
And that was all he needed.