Doubt & Comfort
This was wrong: Wholly conscious, sight and hearing acute, but absolutely nothing to detect. Darkness total; deafening in its silence. Yet he wasn't a part of it. He was distinct, separate, yet encased. Outsider and prisoner.
"Pathetic."
He turned and faced himself. Younger, whole, radiant with cruelty, bearing the smile of unabashed malice.
"Docile farmer? Doting father? Who are you trying to fool?"
A cackle of derision and contempt.
"There's no escaping what you truly are. You are death incarnate. It is what we have always been."
The grin dissolved, the specter's countenance matching their soul.
"Yet you want to play husband to that cursed dragon. Sire an abomination with it, choosing to forget what its kind did to your own. What of Furiae? Your actual family, who you swore to protect. The very reason you even made that blasted pact in the first place; she was supposed to have been the only person you really cared for." That horrid grin again. "But we know that's another lie: you never cared for her. You cared for no one. They were only notches on your kill counter; extra coatings for your sword. You think coming to another world would erase all that? Unmake what you have and always will be?"
Red sky, lit up by the embers of carnage. Bodies all around, dismembered, many of them too young to properly hold a sword.
"What you're living in is a cage." Entire families minced alongside creatures big and small. "Your true home is here."
That intoxicating scent of rust. The cooling warmth of blood on the skin. How it calls; how it roars.
"Just a matter of time." Fading away. "Only a matter of time before you embrace it once more. It's them or us; always has been, always will. It's what you were made to do, after all."
A parting, sinister chuckle echoed the phantom's departure, but cut out when a short dumpy man in black silk wearing an oversized grinning gray skull mask appeared in their place. Confusion barely had time to register before the man gripped his "head" and fell to the not-ground, rolling around screaming,
"AAAAAAA F*** SQUARE ENIX!"
Caim jolted upright with a gasp, his face balmy with sweat. His one eye darted around, adjusting to the low dark of the cottage's interior. All was quiet save for the soft sounds of night; not an intruder or horrid vision to be seen. A look to the side confirmed that the crib, and more importantly his son, were still there in one piece.
He sighed and pressed a hand to his damp brow. The stillness did little to calm his mind, but he bore it in silence. Just had to wait it out.
What is wrong, Caim?
Across the room, Angelus raised her head and looked upon the shaken warrior, her eyes cutting through the darkness like smoldering gems. He asked her why she was awake.
Your thoughts were practically shouting. What is troubling you?
No use trying to conceal it. He related all he could recall from his slumber, mainly the emotions: the dread, the guilt, that hunted feel. Worst of all was the longing he felt, the visceral remembrance. To return now of all times. Some kind of portent?
Angelus only "mrrrr"-ed after he finished, not displaying as much concern as he had expected.
Plagued with restlessness it seems. We should go to Rori tomorrow, perhaps for the entire afternoon. There's no better cure for an agitated mind than a thorough workout.
Caim shook his head, saying that wasn't entirely it.
What more is there?
She could easily read his thoughts and discern the full picture without his say. But she always let Caim "speak" for himself; he never gave her reason to delve past the surface, and this instance was no exception. He relayed his concern, of what his vision potentially meant about himself. Or his possible inclinations, rather.
Are you feeling stifled, though?
He admitted not entirely, but the feeling was there. Had been building up by little degrees for some time. And that's what worried him.
That you would eventually grow dissatisfied with what you have?
Caim nodded, as well as the harm it could bring to others should that happen. Particularly to Nowe. Angelus hummed, contemplating her partner's woes in earnest.
Almost similar to my own misgivings when we first arrived. Odd yours should arise months afterwards when we are firmly rooted; you have never been one to be uncertain of yourself.
Perhaps it's because of all the idleness, he guessed. And he feared such weakness would undo him.
Then find something that truly engages you. None of these paltry "hobbies": a pursuit you can invest yourself fully to… aside from fatherhood. And I know you are a hardened warrior, Caim, and not some sports hunter. You prefer foes who can think and fight with discipline and strategy.
Caim knew what she was getting at, and he wasn't entirely keen on the idea, nor the avenues it could lead to.
It's not as though you would be indentured to them, if what the Contractor said is to be believed. And you're not the berserker you once were. These past months with you tending to home and child is testament to that. Would such a thing be if death and devastation were still your sole focus?
That was a fair point. But there was still that possibility, and no amount of evidence or assurances could rid it. He knew this for certain, in his heart of hearts.
Your mind remains a tempest. Diminished, but still unsettled.
Caim glumly acknowledged he hardly felt better than when he woke up. Angelus made a huff of consternation.
These confines are not helping. Come.
With the hook end of her tail the dragoness unlatched the larger set of doors and pushed them open, then turned about and departed with Caim following behind. After stepping a few yards into the open Angelus silently shut the doors with her tail.
Hop on.
Surprised, Caim asked her if it was wise to leave Nowe alone.
We won't go far. Now mount.
Caim made no argument, getting atop Angelus in a single bound and settling on that familiar spot on her back. No further words from Angelus as she leapt and flapped up into the sky, circling the cottage before bearing southwestward. The rush of cool night air was refreshing, and Caim did feel more clear-headed by the rush of flight. It wasn't even a minute before the wyvern glided downward, then flapped to land on the broad side of a grassy knoll. A shrug from his partner told Caim to dismount, so that man and dragon stood apart. He asked why she brought him here.
This was a spot I discovered that was perfect for lying out when I wanted some space, and that's what you're going to do. On your back.
Caim complied, laying himself upon the slope as Angelus lowered herself beside him. It was a clear night: two of the moons were out, and the rest of the sky was awash with celestial brilliance. The local wildlife had wised up to the resident dragon fairly quickly, so the couple had the whole hill and several miles all to themselves.
It's very reminiscent of the world we awoke on, wouldn't you say?
The swordsman said it was, only there were no trees around.
Which makes this perfect.
He agreed, losing himself to the night breezes as the two lay in silence for some time, until,
I never found time to enjoy that view in those first weeks. Too full of suspicion, fixated on disbelief; the serenity of it all was even harder to accept. Following that initial shock of awakening, wariness and doubt consumed me. And the remembrances of my imprisonment only made it worse.
He remembered: the trepidations, the roars in the night. Those fleeting glances of fear and mistrust sent his way.
But at every turn of my paranoia you were there, assuring me that we were very much whole, as was everything around us. I could have labeled you a cruel hallucination, only you proved to be a very persistent and, more importantly, tangible one.
He was nothing if not persistent in regards to her, he reminded her.
It was your touch that broke through the haze: your hand on my face, your arms around my neck. You kept me anchored whenever I suffered. Even in those instances when I was thoroughly convinced that nothing was real, that it was a new form of torture my madness had created.
He did it because she was the only thing real to him, and he never wanted to lose that grip on reality. Not after everything else.
And I shan't let you lose sight of that devotion that won my ancient heart. Should you ever fall to such similar depths as I have, I will pull you back up into the light, even if you curse my very existence and our first meeting.
He would never do that.
But that is the breadth of my own devotion to you. As you had been a beacon in the sea of my uncertainty, so shall I be yours. Only you won't lose yourself to that extent under my watchful gaze.
Caim grinned and thanked Angelus deeply, feeling a bloom of love for that wonderful dragoness. Said dragoness nodded and looked to the stars.
You know, with all this reminiscing of our time on that strange world, I recall one very special "act" that greatly helped in cementing myself to this new reality. When we fully opened ourselves to each other.
Those last words were sent with a sultry coating, enough to grab Caim's full attention.
It has been some time, and it's only the two out here. I'm more than certain "that" can put your heart at ease.
He was fairly sure it'd do more to his heart than put it at ease… among other parts.
But it would be a worthwhile distraction. For the both of us.
Angelus brought around her snout to brush her partner's face.
Or have you lost all interest in your pact partner?
Rather than respond mentally, Caim reached up a hand to caress the side of her muzzle while also leaning up to smooch her gently.
Just as I thought.
She pulled away, then made a show of slowly rolling over onto her back, expanding her wings and relaxing her legs. Once comfortably situated, she shot her flustered man a sensual look.
Now, tend to your dragon, as only you can.
Such a sight and beckoning flushed everything from Caim's heart and mind save one vital prerogative. He raised himself, walked over to the splayed dragoness and carefully pulled himself onto her underbelly. As he crawled over the expanse of her chest, his weathered hands took in the surprising softness of her scales, showing appreciative rubs and gropes with every touch. Soon he reached the base of her neck, and after making a loving smile to his wife, he pressed his face to her collarbone and began kissing it.
Angelus hummed and let her head fall back, losing herself to her paramour paying lip service to her magnificent body. Lower and lower the trail of kisses went, each peck giving off an electrifying tingle that steadily built the charge of arousal until they abruptly stopped at the waist, for Caim had pulled back to marvel at the prize that awaited him, letting hunger build within him.
Before his needy dragon had time to whine, Caim licked his lips and dove into
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Rom, what the freak are you doing?"
"Writing a romance scene, obviously."
"No, you're writing smut!"
"Sensual loving romantic smut, Cliff. This isn't mindless porn like in most other stories."
"Uhh, but by your own admission, you are in fact trying to write porn."
"And? Pornography is a form of art, Nate, and I believe you favor natural displays of biological processes."
"N-Not to this extent!"
"You're overlooking the core issue here: you're trying to write explicit, MA material on a T-rated story!"
"Like anyone actually cares about those ratings. Besides, it's been years since I got to write something saucy, and I figure our most devoted followers deserve a reward."
"Don't assume they're all freaks like us!"
"Yes yes well and good children, but Clifford has a point: we must abide by the website's rules and keep to the selected age rating."
"Don't ever call me 'Clifford' again, Dee."
"Roman, we will leave what you have written as flavor text, but there will be nothing more. Understood?"
"*Sigh* Fine. But can you blame me for wanting to play tiddlywinks for a change?"
"I'll tiddle your winks if you try pulling this sort of stunt again without approval."
"You do that every night anyway, Cliff."
"Right, onto the next scene!"
The couple was thoroughly spent when all was said and done. Caim had slumped himself against the dragoness' neck, his arms wrapped around it in a tender embrace as he let the breeze cool off his sweat-drenched self. Angelus was a puddle of contentment, exhausted in the most satisfying way.
That was exquisite…
Caim tiredly agreed, lulled by his beloved's steady breathing.
Feeling better now?
Yes, he thought. Very much so. Like all kinds of weights have been lifted off him… in every meaning of the word.
As I said: a thorough workout is all it takes. And if you can still lose yourself to carnal delight, you are far from losing yourself.
Guess that would be true. That makes things extremely assuring, he told her.
And it's especially assuring to me knowing you can still deliver unfathomable bliss. I had forgotten just how capable you were.
His technique was something he wouldn't be forgetting in any hurry. Although, it did raise a particular point of concern regarding Angelus' personal "status".
Oh? Your firstborn isn't even a year old and you're already eager to make a second?
Well… if she was okay with it, he answered.
I tease. Nowe is enough for now, but I may consider it when he's much older. Possibly when he's ready to move out. Speaking of whom, we should wash ourselves before returning home. To spare him the stench of our tryst.
No argument from Caim on that front.
There is a lake close by, which should do the job nicely.
Angelus carefully raised herself, getting life back into her stiff limbs while her partner did the same in gathering his clothes. With herself fully upright and primed for take-off Caim hopped on, but before she could launch he hailed her attention.
Yes, Caim?
He wrapped his arms around her neck once again, pressing his face to her skin as he sent a heartfelt "Thank you.".
That is what loving partners are for. Now, let us get cleaned.
A flexing flap, then with a big one the dragon and her cherished rider soared off into the tranquil night, their hearts aloft with affection for one another, looking like a crimson shooting star under the twin moonlight.
*Fun Note: The "sensual" parts were written on Mother's Day 2022, so this makes for some fitting mother-lovin'! :D*