Half an hour later Maya had calmed down considerably, Carina was continuing to stroke her hair gently. None of them talked for a while. On the one hand, Carina was glad that Maya had started opening up, on the other hand though, she was scared of pushing her too far again. Maya just felt ashamed of her previous behaviour and quite frankly had no idea where to start. Before either of them could decide to take the first step though, a doctor from orthopaedics came in with a nurse: Ms. Bishop, I'd like to address your injuries. Maya sat up a little and Carina sat back on the chair next to her bed.
"So luckily all your fractures, your ulna, radius and clavicle are clean brakes; they will heal on their own in time. We will put a cast on your arm, and you will have to wear a sling for the next eight weeks at least. No, I imagine that you are still in a considerable amount of pain from your dislocated shoulder,", Maya nodded, "it will feel better once it's back in its socket, the procedure however, is quite painful. Usually, we would sedate you slightly but due to your vitals I wouldn't recommend it."
"It's okay, I can take it. Embrace the pain, right?", Maya attempted to joke.
"Maya", Carina scolded her, "can't you give her morphine she said to the doctor.
"Yes, we can. It would make you drowsy, but..."
"No", Maya interrupted him, "I don't want to sleep again. It's fine."
Carina sighed but had to agree that she wanted rather wanted Maya conscious, too.
The doctor had to take extra precautions due to her clavicle fracture as to not shift the broken bone.
The nurse therefore held onto her clavicle while the doctor grabbed onto her arm; the broken forearm had been temporarily splinted. Carina sat next to Maya and held onto her left hand. "Okay, I know that this hurts but you need to relax your arm. Try to breathe.", the doctor advised.
Maya was already clutching carinas hand and her eyes were screwed shut. Even just the nurse stabilising her clavicle hurt like hell.
"Bambina, concentrate on me.", only then did Maya start to relax a little and the doctor proceeded and rotated her arm until it slid back into its socket. Maya was clutching Carina's hand in a death grip at this point and couldn't suppress a gasp when it slid back in. She felt the nurse release her grip and the doctor put her arm back in the sling, pinning her arm to her body again.
"You did so well Bambina", Carina soothed, Maya had buried her head in Carina's shoulder.
"Yes, it went well", the doctor confirmed, "we will take one more x-ray to confirm that no further damage was done and put the cast on your wrist. We'll give you a few minutes before taking you upstairs."
Carina felt her shirt getting wet, she asked: "Maya are you okay?"
Maya nodded slightly, her face quite pale though.
"I'm sorry that this hurt so much."
"It's okay, it's getting better already.", Maya smiled vainly.
The slightly awkward silence emerged again, neither of the, daring to address the elephant in the room. There was a knock on the door and the nurse helped Maya into a wheelchair to get to the scan. Carina sighed as Maya was wheeled out, they would have to talk about it eventually. Carina stepped out of the room and went to get some coffee. On her way back she ran into Dr. Bailey.
"Dr. DeLuca, I was about to come to you and Maya."
"She's getting another x-ray and a cast on her wrist. How long do you think she needs to stay?"
"In terms of her injuries there is no reason to keep her here much longer. I know that you are familiar with the concussion protocol, so we'd be able to send her home with you. Due to her vitals however, I'd like to keep her under observation for another night. If nothing comes up, then I'd release her tomorrow. Have you had a chance to talk to her yet?"
"No, we haven't been able to, but we need to. We need to make a plan. She just can't continue like this.", Carina said with some exasperation in her voice. Half an hour later, Maya was brought back in, now sporting a cast her arm back in the sling pinned to her upper body. As Maya was getting back into bed Carina told her about Dr. Bailey's assessment. When Carina mentioned her vitals as the reason why she couldn't be released today, Maya's gaze dropped, and she fiddled with her blanket self-consciously.
"Hey Bella, do you want to talk about this?", Carina asked cautiously, afraid of them fighting again, but they couldn't avoid this for much longer.
"Not really but I think I need to.", Maya said, still looking down. Carina nodded, taking Maya's hand, she waited because she didn't want to pressure Maya into anything, but the injured woman continued to fidget and didn't meet Carina's eye.
She even looked a bit embarrassed, Carina thought, so she decided to reassure her girlfriend:
"Hey, Maya. Please look at me, Bambina. None of this is your fault. I'm not blaming you for anything. You don't have to be ashamed, please just talk to me."
Hearing these words, tears started pouring down Maya's face again: "I'm so sorry. I know that you were just trying to help me, and I just pushed you away again. I never deserved to get a second chance from you. I ruined everything. You said that you are not in the habit of fixing broken people, and this just proves how broken I am. You don't have to stay. I understand that you want to leave, l...", Maya rambled.
"No Maya", Carina interrupted her fiercely.
"That's not true. You didn't ruin anything Maya. And what I said back then, I said that in anger. You are not that broken, and I won't try to mend you all by myself. We need some professional help. You won't be broken forever if you choose to not give up. From your past it is completely natural that you were in denial. And this illness is manipulative like that. It's actually a symptom of eating disorders that they want you to hide them from everybody. It's not your fault Maya. And I'm here for you now. We can get through this together, Bella. I love you."
Maya had started crying harder throughout Carina's little speech but when she heard those last three words, she couldn't hold back the sobs any longer.
Carina sat next to her and engulfed her petite frame in a hug, feeling too many of Maya's bones through her skin.