Songs I listened to while writing this chapter:

Princess of China by Coldplay ft. Rihanna

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Malia J (cover version)

Desperation by Daughtry.

2020

Heathrow Airport Base

Reset 1

Images flashed through his mind in rapid succession. They were snippets of his life that were out of order, and he watched them all until he saw her face. She was shouting his name, her hand outstretched towards him.

Luke Wright jolted awake, narrowly missing banging his head off the bottom bunk as he did so. He was breathing hard and sweating, his heart pounding. He swallowed, trying to put together what had happened. He looked around in the morning light, and he saw that he was in his bunk at the Heathrow Airport Base. According to his watch, he had just under 24 hours before he was going to battle on the beach in France. He fell back onto his pillow, reaching to rub his eyes with his fingers.

"Shit," he muttered. He'd had such a violent nightmare, and in it he'd seen her.

It wasn't possible. In his time here so far, he hadn't crossed paths with her. He didn't figure he would even though he came to find her...she could be anywhere over here, and it wasn't like he could go off and search. He was a soldier now, bound to follow orders. It was obviously just his subconscious mind wanting him to see her, but something kept niggling at his memory that he had seen her somehow. He couldn't figure out where, but he knew it was impossible. He heard banging of the J-Squad as they horsed around with each other, waking up for the day. He groaned inwardly. He was exhausted a lot lately.

He pushed himself up, though. He wasn't one for giving up. He might be 43 years old, but he still was a hardened machine. Ford liked to make fun of him, but Luke put him to shame every single time, making the rest of the team, who were close to Luke's age, high five him in delight.

He was a former black ops assassin after all.

"What were you hollering about?" Skinner asked as they walked towards the mess hall together. Kimmel, Griff, Kuntz, and Ford were jostling each other as Nance did her best to stay out of their way.

"Nothing," Luke answered, the remnants of his dream at the edge of his thoughts. He vaguely had flashes of his squad dying around him, but he knew it was just a dream. He hadn't been here long, only two months, but he was already fond of them all.

He ate quietly, thinking. The others joked and messed around, but he didn't get involved. His brain was too muddled, trying to put pieces together that didn't make sense.

They were on their way back from the mess hall when Skinner paused.

"Man, I'd kill to meet her," Skinner groaned, making Luke turn to see who he was talking about. They were standing by the exit, and Luke saw who Skinner was ogling at.

Her.

His breath caught in his throat. She was here after all, and not just in the form of the poster on the wall, which he'd looked at often enough to drive himself crazy. She was talking to a soldier who was walking alongside her, her hands gesturing. Something about this felt like déjà vu to him, but he knew this was his first time seeing her since he'd been there.

"The Full Metal Bitch," Skinner went on, sounding impressed. "She won Verdun for us."

"Uh huh," Luke replied, not having anything else to say. Angel of Verdun they were also calling her. He was having an odd sensation as he watched her talk, still not seeing him. He felt like he'd done this before, but that wasn't possible. He hadn't seen her yet until just now. He was certain of it.

"Well, maybe in another life, eh mate?" Skinner said, clapping Luke on the shoulder and continuing on towards the training area. Luke stood and stared until she finally looked his way.

He watched her speech falter as her eyes met his. The soldier gave her a prompt, and she tore her eyes away from Luke and looked at him again, closing her eyes briefly while she tried to get her train of thought back. Luke didn't wait for her to look at him again before melting into the background and continuing on.

He knew she wouldn't want to talk to him anyway.

...

No calls in or out due to lockdown. Luke was going a bit mad not being able to communicate with Mei back home. He needed to know she was safe. He hated that he'd gone so long without being able to confirm that. Ever since she'd been in his care eight years ago, her safety was his priority. He just had to hope she was doing okay by herself and not getting up to no good.

He was doing PT with the J-Squad and jogging around the block with Master Sergeant Farell bellowing at them. He'd never been a soldier, so he was given the status of Private when he joined. He didn't care. He preferred to just take orders and do what he was told without having a lot of responsibility.

While jogging, he kept his face forward, doing his best to not relive a bunch more memories that surfaced. Mei had accused him of coming over here to really find her, and Luke knew she was right to some degree. He also wanted to fight to keep the world safe for Mei. It was the ultimate atonement, after all, for everything he'd done in his life.

"Who are we?!" Farell was shouting.

"Warriors!" everyone shouted back. Luke kept silent. In all his life, he'd never felt like one, so he wasn't about to shout out that he was one now. He was anything but. He was just a ghost.

A deadly ghost.

...

Luke was cleaning his gun and checking out his mech suit to make sure it was in good condition when he heard footsteps behind him.

"I'm not breaking any rules," he said, slightly irritated as he turned to expect Farell glaring at him. He found her glaring at him instead.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Rita," he said, feeling slightly taken aback. He hadn't expected her to seek him out. Despite everything, his heart still gave a jump at the sight of her.

Rita Vrataski stood with her arms crossed, feet apart, and her jaw tight. Her dirty blonde hair was pinned up in a bun with some wisps falling out of it.

"Answer the question," she demanded. He resisted laughing. She still had the same attitude.

"Why do you think?" he retorted. "Did you really think I'd just sit idly by with this going on?" He'd waited for Mei to be old enough to look after herself before joining. She had no one else after all. If he'd known Rita had been over here sooner, he would have found a way to have Mei looked after. As it was, the timing worked out like this, and here he was.

"I thought you'd be too busy with your head up your own arse. Either that or you were dead."

"Ha, ha," he said sarcastically.

"I heard you moved on to someone else."

"How did you hear that if you weren't looking into me?" he asked.

"I had a source."

He looked at her carefully. He could see her anger towards him among other emotions. He wished he knew why she felt that way. He never knew what made her leave him all those years ago.

"Well, Annie's dead," he told her. "Nine years ago now." He watched her take in this information without so much as a blink. Did she know who Annie was? He wondered.

"No kids?"

"No." He thought about the baby that had died when Annie got killed. He'd had no idea she was even pregnant (it still bothered him that she hadn't told him...as if that would've changed things that were out of his control). And technically, Mei wasn't his child. She was his friend. He looked at Rita, challenging her to say more about it.

"Well," Rita said. "Good luck tomorrow." She moved to walk away when he dared to catch her by the hand and stop her.

"Rita," he said, and she yanked out of his grip and took a step back.

"Don't," she ordered. "Don't pretend we're fine, like you didn't break my heart."

"Me? You were the one who moved on!" Luke exclaimed. "I came home that day and you were gone! No note, no explanation, no nothing! Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? I couldn't understand what I'd done, and I tried to find you right after to get an answer, but you were nowhere to be found."

"I'm pretty sure you have a good idea as to why I left," she said sharply.

"I have no idea why you left!" he exclaimed. She rolled her eyes.

"Did you think I really wouldn't hear about it?"

"Hear about what?!"

"Luke, I really don't care that you can't remember, and I don't need to remind you," Rita interrupted, holding up her hand. "It was forever ago, and we both moved on from it, so..."

"Maybe you moved on," he said roughly, "but I never truly did."

"You got with someone else!"

"Don't change the subject!"

"It doesn't matter," Rita said, moving away again.

"So where is he?" Luke called after her. "Since you moved on and all. Why isn't he here fighting with you?" Rita gave him a look that said it all, but he didn't vocalize it. Clearly something had happened to this guy.

"Sod off," she said, her voice tight, which indicated she was trying to swallow emotion. Luke knew her very well after all.

"Rita," he tried, but she shook her head and disappeared outside. He banged his fist on the table and swore. This was not how he wanted to talk with her after all this time.

"You don't know," Farell said, making him jump. Where the hell had he come from?!

"Know what?" Luke asked, irritated.

"About Hendricks."

"No. Who is that?"

"Sergeant Vrataski's boyfriend. He died in Verdun."

"Why are you telling me this?" Luke asked. Farell shrugged.

"Just thought it would help you not get decapitated the next time you bring up dating around her," he said. "I'm surprised she even spoke to you, but I guess you two have history."

"None of your business," Luke said roughly, making Farell raise a brow.

"I should give you 30 for that tone," he commented. Luke kept his mouth shut, not in the mood for this.

"My apologies, sir," he said after a moment. Farell nodded.

"This war has brought out the worst in all of us," he said. "Don't let it destroy you entirely."

Luke said nothing as Farell left him alone. He ran a hand over his head, thinking about his exchange with Rita. He had a feeling he'd talked to her before, and that things hadn't gotten that heated between them. He frowned. This déjà vu feeling all day was driving him crazy. Thankfully, it was time for sleep, so he could put his focus on that.

Tomorrow was going to come faster than he wanted.

...

"It's a new day, people!" Farell had shouted before marching towards the aircraft with them. Luke tuned out the rest of his speech. He was busy thinking about Rita. He'd caught sight of her marching ahead of her team towards a waiting aircraft. She was the only one not wearing a helmet, just like him. She'd looked at him, and she hadn't smiled or anything, but her eyes said it all. Say what she wanted, but Luke knew Rita Vrataski still loved him, just like he still loved her.

They boarded the plane, and Farell was still yakking about whatever it was he thought was inspirational. Luke was all hooked up and ready to go, bouncing along to turbulence with everyone else. The comments going back and forth between J-Squad kept making his brain hurt with the continued déjà vu. He looked at Farell and had a sudden image of their aircraft getting hit and exploding.

When it happened, he didn't know what to think.

"DROP, DROP, DROP!" Farell was screaming. Luke reached to hit his release, and he dropped hard. He braced himself as he spun, gritting his teeth. It was chaos all around them, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that something was wrong.

He hit the beach hard, narrowly avoiding landing on his face. He managed to pick himself up and surged ahead, keeping an eye out around him for his enemy. He hadn't seen battle yet, spending all this time training and getting ready for it. He had a rough idea of what was waiting for him, but seeing the real thing come surging out of the ground was a lot more terrifying that he'd expected, not that he'd admit that out loud to anyone.

Then again, they looked almost familiar to him. It confused him a lot.

He cringed when Kimmel got flattened by a crashing aircraft. He found the rest of J-Squad trying to survive.

"It's a slaughterhouse!" Ford was screaming. Luke tended to agree. This was an ambush. The Mimics had been waiting for them.

He fired his gun as a Mimic came at him. He managed to kill it just in time. He fought hard, and then he caught sight of Rita, and the déjà vu hit him again. She turned to see him, her melee weapon in her hand. He remembered what he was trying to remember.

"MOVE!" he screamed at her. She didn't hear him, just turned her head away. Then she was struck, and she fell down dead. Luke unleashed the scream of anguish long and hard. His rage throbbed all over, and he channeled it into killing as many Mimics coming at him as he could.

Then one came at him from the left, and he was too late to kill it. He faced death head on, not wanting to be in a world that no longer had Rita in it anyway.

Reset 2

Luke jolted awake, banging his head off the bottom bunk. He cursed and groaned, hissing with pain. His heart was pounding, and he struggled with visions of his past going through his mind. Then he stiffened.

It wasn't a dream.

He blinked, trying to comprehend. He went through it all in his mind again, and it was all way too vivid to be a dream. This had really happened to him. He got up before the squad could notice his distress. He walked alone down the hall and skipped breakfast. He kept wandering and thinking that he had finally mentally cracked until he paused by the doors to see Rita talking to a soldier. His heart raced again. He'd seen this before. He'd done this. He stared long enough until Rita saw him, and her reaction was the same as he remembered.

"What is happening to me?" he muttered out loud, feeling a headache coming on. He continued through the rest of the day. He did PT. He cleaned his gun and checked his suit. When Rita found him, he was ready. He had to make things right before they both died, because he now knew for sure that was going to happen next.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. She looked taken aback, not expecting that response.

"You're sorry," she repeated. He stepped closer to her, and she took a step back when he got too close.

"For whatever it is I did to you. I'm sorry. I never stopped loving you, and I came here looking for you because I knew you'd be here." He stopped talking, noticing that she was wearing an unreadable expression.

"So you're sorry. Fine. It doesn't change what happened."

"Okay." A name fluttered into his mind, and he decided to see what happened.

"You just lost someone," he said. "Hendricks."

"How the hell do you know about that?" she asked, slightly outraged.

"Not important," he dismissed. "Please tell me he was a good guy, that he treated you right." Rita stared at him, blinking.

"He is none of your business," she said carefully.

"Did you love him?"

"Why do you care?" she demanded.

"I just told you," Luke said. "I still love you. I care about what happens to you."

"Well, stop," she ordered. "I don't need you to love me anymore." She went to walk away, and he felt like this had gone worse than the last time. He knew better than to stop her, though. He'd see her again on the battlefield, and this time, he'd save her.

Then Farell came and gave him 30 push ups for being a smart ass.

...

Luke had tried to gesture for Kimmel to watch out, but Kimmel wasn't paying attention. He decided to put his focus on the others. He kept them out of harm's way for the most part, but it was Rita he was looking for. He found her moments later. She was breathing hard after just killing a Mimic.

"What?" she shouted at him when she saw him. He reached to grab her shoulder and haul her back with him. "Luke! What are you doing?!" She was angry, trying to shake him off.

"Saving your life," he answered. She gave him a funny look, and the rocket that usually hit her went flying past her head instead. She turned to look at where it had landed before looking back at him. There was something in her expression that told Luke she somehow knew he was reliving this nightmare. Before he could say anything further, a Mimic killed him.

Reset 3

Luke jolted awake, heart pounding and sweating. For the love of God...

He got up and left the others as they hooted with laughter at something ridiculous. He had finally figured out what was happening to him now. He was living bloody Groundhog's Day like Bill Murray. He paid attention all day to things, and it proved his theory as it went on. When Rita came to see him, he decided to stay silent as she accosted him.

"What? No smart comeback for me?" she asked after he didn't answer what the bloody hell he was doing there.

He figured he was going to die anyway, so what the hell? He stepped into her, grabbing her face and kissing her hard. At first, she was too taken aback to stop him, but then she slugged him in the chest hard with her fist, making him cough and let her go.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she exclaimed, straightening her jacket. He caught the blush in her cheeks, though. She hadn't entirely hated it. He rubbed the spot she'd punched absently as he looked at her.

"I'm in love with you," he answered. "That's what the hell is wrong with me."

"Well, you're on your own with that," she retorted, backing away from him.

"I don't think so," he called after her, but she didn't respond. He smiled and nodded at Farell, avoiding the damn push ups. He went to bed thinking about Rita.

In the morning, they flew to the beach, and he went through the motions. He was a bit later getting to Rita, and she stared at him as he yelled for her to get away from where the rocket would land, not moving at all. To his surprise, she threw down her weapon.

"Find me when you wake up," she said to him.

"What?!" he exclaimed. Thinking he hadn't heard her, she shouted it again.

"Find me when you wake up!" she shouted again. Then she blew up, and Luke died moments later.

Reset 4

Luke jolted awake, and he banged his head off the bottom bunk. He cursed and worked to calm his fast beating heart.

Find me when you wake up.

He got up quickly, Rita's voice echoing in his brain. He'd find her all right. He stepped out in the waning afternoon light as others made their way to do things they needed to do. He made his way to the street, heading for where he knew she trained. It was off limits for privates, but he didn't care. He stepped inside, acting like he belonged. He sidestepped two burly men as he walked towards Rita, who was on the floor and holding herself up with just her hands. His steps faltered slightly as he took in her form, her face, her hair, and everything else about her. His fingers itched to touch her exposed skin. He wanted to kiss her the way he used to that made her melt into him. He walked over to her until he was next to the top of her head.

"You need to straighten out a bit more," he commented. "But you always did have a hard time with that."

"What the bloody hell do you want?" she demanded, catching sight of him and dropping to her stomach. She stood up quickly, squaring off in front of him.

"You said to find you when I wake up, so here I am," he answered. She stared at him.

"What?" she asked, annoyed.

"Tomorrow, on the beach. You told me to find you when I woke up," he said again. He held out his hands. "I found you."

Her eyes registered shock at first and then almost a glee-like shine.

"You know exactly what this is," Luke said, tilting his head at her. "Don't you?"

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand and hauling him away from the others, who were watching. They went out the back, and Luke did his best to not think about how good her hand felt in his again.

"Slow down," he said as she pulled him down to an empty alleyway. She stopped abruptly, causing him to crash into her. For a moment, they were a tangle of arms and legs until Luke managed to straighten it out. She pushed his hands off her waist and turned her face away to hide her red cheeks. He caught sight of the gold chain around her neck and felt his heart lurch. She'd kept the chain all this time...she still wore it even though the letter "R" pendant had been lost...

That had to mean something.

"Rita," he said, hoping to maybe tell her his feelings, but she stopped him.

"You're reliving the day," she interrupted. "You stole the power of the Omega."

"Remind me what that is again?"

She rolled her eyes. "The Omega is the leader. The soldiers are the Alphas and Mimics. The whole thing is a living organism."

"Right."

"Did you kill an Alpha?"

"Erm..." Luke trailed off, not sure. He thought hard.

"Big blue one," she said, trying to prompt a memory. It was coming back to him slowly, the first time he'd seen her die and had a Mimic land on his head. Well, Alpha, apparently.

"Yea," he said, nodding carefully. "It landed on me, and I deployed the suicide bomb on my vest."

"Oh, this is amazing," Rita said, sounding excited. "You have no idea how amazing this is right now."

"I'm getting an idea," he replied. "You care to explain it a little more to me?"

"So the Omega can reset the day if an Alpha dies, giving it a chance to change tactics and win battles," Rita started. "You've hijacked that power."

"So we can use it to find the Omega," Luke said, realizing.

"Yes!"

"Gotcha. So...how do we do that?" he asked. "I mean, how do I use this power?"

"Well, you have to die," she answered.

"Really." Why was he not surprised?

"Every day," she added. "Before midnight tomorrow."

"I see, and who makes sure of that?" he asked, crossing his arms. A slight smile came across her face.

"I do," she replied. "Otherwise, you gotta kill yourself."

"You're loving this, aren't you?" he asked.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it's my punishment for whatever I did to you that made you leave," he answered. "And also, you're smiling just a bit."

"We don't have time to rehash the past," Rita dismissed. "Can you fight?"

"What kind of question is that?" he asked.

"Show me then," she scoffed.

"You're on."

For a moment, it felt like it had all those years ago, but Luke knew Rita had walls up now. She'd been hurt and recently lost a boyfriend, if he even was her boyfriend. She hadn't really answered that question. Regardless, he had to tread carefully, and he would.

Because he still loved her, and he'd do his damnedest to prove it to her.

...

Rita didn't know why she didn't tell him about having the power herself or that she'd "won" Verdun with it. She knew she should have. She guessed that she didn't want to look like a failure to him, that letting him know she hadn't succeeded would make him think less of her somehow because she thought this about herself at times. She knew it was irrational, but when she was around him, her rationality sometimes went out the window. For now, she'd keep it to herself. Eventually, he'd find out. She'd deal with it then.

She leaned on her hands against the bathroom counter, looking at herself in the mirror. Luke Wright was back in her life. She didn't know what to think. Her emotions were scattered, and she was struggling to not go back out there and punch him in the face or kiss him. Both options were appealing. She missed him and had ever since she'd left, but she still felt hurt by what had happened in the past. Scared too...the fear was always lurking in the back of her mind. She didn't want to admit that she'd been thinking about him a lot in the last couple of months or that she still frigging loved him. No matter how hard she'd tried, she couldn't stop.

"Get a grip," she told herself, giving her head a shake. This was not about them. This was about winning the war. If she just focused on that, everything would be okay.

She was sure of it.