For those of you who like angst, it's about to get pretty angsty.

Songs I listened to while writing this chapter:

Edgen by Martin O'Donnell

Lee & Lacy by Brian Tyler

Letty & Dom by Brian Tyler

DK's Revenge by Brian Tyler

Facing the Crocodile by Brian Tyler

Sator by Ludwig Goransson

Dukovitch by Atli Orvarsson

Tooling Up by Chris Benstead

Memorial by Brian Tyler

2001

New Orleans, U.S.

Things flowed with a rhythm once Luke was finally home and there to stay for a bit (his commander had given him some time off). Rita knew he was patching himself up little by little inside as he processed his mother's death, and sometimes she felt like she couldn't help him when he grew angry or stayed silent for hours. He always made it clear it wasn't her fault, but she felt helpless the majority of the time. It made her realize how he must have felt during her depressed episodes.

Then one morning, the world fell apart.

It was her day off, so she planned to sleep in. Remi had already tried to annoy her awake, but it was Luke's vigorous shaking of her shoulder that finally did it.

"What?" she asked, irritated, opening an eye to look at him.

"New York is being attacked," he answered, not waiting for her response before leaving again. She sat up fast. What?! She hurried to the living room where Luke was sitting and watching the TV, his elbows resting on his knees and hands folded. She looked and immediately covered her mouth with her hand at the sight before her.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "What happened?"

"A plane was hijacked," Luke explained. "That's all I know so far." She sank down onto the couch beside him and reached to hold his hand, feeling only slightly comforted by his fingers slipping between hers. They watched the horror unfold before them, and she cried and had to turn away at one point. She felt Luke grip her hand tighter. Eventually, he turned the TV off, and they sat there shell shocked.

"What is happening?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"I don't know," he answered. He looked at her, and she looked at him. She knew he was thinking about how close they'd come to living in New York before choosing New Orleans.

"I'm scared," she confessed. He responded by pulling her closer and holding her in his arms. She knew he was scared too but didn't want to admit it. He'd been putting on a tougher face around her since crying in front of her. She wished he wouldn't. She wished that he knew it was okay to show her that he was upset.

Two weeks after the towers fell, Luke received a phone call from his commander. He was to go to New York and join the elite task force in the police department there that the mayor was creating. It was the mayor's desire to "clean up the city." He was given two weeks to get settled. Rita was panicking. She didn't want to leave her job and her friend, Rachel. They couldn't just walk out on their apartment lease overnight. She had no idea what she'd even do in New York. She felt overwhelmed.

"Hey," Luke said, catching her arms as she paced and vocalized all these things to him. "It'll be alright, love. Just breathe."

"Why do you have to move there? Why you?"

"They've asked me because I'm very good at what I do," Luke answered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"So start sucking at it," she said, knowing she was being childish. He just chuckled and kissed the side of her head.

"Why don't you stay here until I get settled? Then make your way over. It'll all be a mess for a while yet. We've done long distance before. We can do this."

"But I'll be lost without you," Rita said, emotional.

"No, you won't," he argued. "And I'm only physically leaving you for a while. I'm not leaving you entirely."

"You just got back," she whispered. It had barely been a month since he'd come back from globetrotting and looking for his mother. She'd gotten used to him being there every day.

"I know. It's just temporary. We'll be together again," he promised. She felt so unsure, but he kissed her and held her close and did his best to make her feel better.

"It was so hard," she blurted out, unable to help herself. "Being away from you for so long. I know I put on a tough face, but there were a lot of nights where I cried myself to sleep from missing you."

"Rita," he said, sounding surprised. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to feel bad for doing what you had to do."

"Well, I feel bad now knowing you were suffering."

"Don't," she said, shaking her head. "I just...I'm not ready to do it again."

"Look," he said, cupping her face with his hands. "I'll see you on my days off. I promise. We'll plan to have you come in a month or two. I'll talk to the landlord about our lease. You can find a job before you move so you won't be scrambling. It'll all work itself out. I promise."

"Okay," she said, barely audible. She let him kiss her again, and she did her best to not feel afraid. She did her best to not feel the feeling of impending doom that was hovering over her head.

A Month Later

Luke got settled easy enough. He fell into step with his fellow team members: Captain Wolf, Detective Mears, Detective Reddick, Detective Lasky, Detective Benoit, and Detective Kolfax. The other undercover assassin on the team was Alex Rosen. Apparently, they shared the same commander. Luke didn't know much about him, and Alex kept to himself most of the time.

Mayor Danny had sat them both down and explained their job. They were to be on this task force while doing side jobs sent down by the big guys, which involved removing all sorts of terrorists and bad criminals. Luke's background was in place. He made sure no one knew he was married. He wore his wedding band on a chain around his neck when he was at work. If anyone saw it and asked, he'd say he was a widow. He vowed to keep Rita safe at all costs. He trusted no one.

He was expecting Rita that weekend and went early to pick her up at the airport. It had been hard to leave her, especially after hearing how much his absence affected her, but he wanted to do this because he wanted to help avoid another incident like 9/11. He knew Rita understood that, but he could still feel a bit of tension between them sometimes when they talked. He didn't blame her. He just didn't know how to make it better. He wanted to make sure things were solid here before having her live with him again.

He felt his heart jump when he saw her walking towards him through the crowd. He knew she had been a little anxious about flying ever since the attacks, but she'd made it. He braced himself when she dropped her bags and leaped into his arms, kissing him soundly.

"I missed you too," he said when she finally pulled back and examined him properly. He really had. He'd wanted to see her sooner, but things hadn't calmed down until now and he'd had a crash course on how to be a detective, which had been a lot. He knew she understood, albeit reluctantly, but he wanted to ensure this didn't keep happening. He didn't want to lose their relationship.

"Take me home, Mr. Wright," she instructed. He set her down and picked up her bags.

"Right this way, Mrs. Wright."

...

Rita lay beside Luke under the sheets, her feet entangled with his and their fingers interlocked together and resting on her stomach. She was on her back while he was on his right side.

"Well," she said. "At least you haven't forgotten how to do that."

"I will never forget how to please my wife," he retorted, moving to kiss her neck before getting up. She stayed there waiting for him, reliving it in her mind. She'd fantasized about it since they'd been apart, and even though he was very good on the phone, it was nothing compared to being in person.

Seeing him again had brought up so many different emotions. She'd been frustrated the past few days just thinking about everything and him being gone, but she knew why he was doing this, and she admired him for that. She just wished it wasn't so damn hard on her in the meantime.

"Where did that come from?" she asked, suddenly noticing the scar on his left side when he returned. In her haste earlier, she'd missed it entirely. She moved to examine it better when he rejoined her in bed.

"Just a scratch," he dismissed.

"From what?! Luke, you've been stabbed," she said, realizing that's what it was: a stab wound. It matched the other one on his other side from his assault in Mexico and the one in his leg from Keira's murderers.

"Pfft," he said, waving his hand. "You should see the other guy."

"He's dead, right?"

"Pretty much."

She rolled her eyes and fell down on her back again before turning onto her right side so he could pull her against him and hold her. He ran his fingers up and down her stomach gently.

"You promised to be safe out here," she reminded him.

"I'm still here, aren't I? Give me some credit," he said back. He pressed a finger into her navel, making her squirm.

"Don't change the subject," she ordered, knowing that was what he was doing.

"What else do you want me to say? It comes with the job. I get shot at and into knife fights sometimes. It happens."

He slid his thumb slowly down her lower belly next.

"Luke," she said, groaning. "Stop it."

"That's not what you said earlier," he said in her ear. He kissed her shoulder slowly, moving towards the back of her neck. Rita forced herself to stop going along with what he was doing and turned to face him, catching him off guard.

"If you die on me, I'll kill you," she warned.

"Duly noted," he said. She put a hand over his mouth to stop him from kissing her.

"I mean it," she said. "I can't be without you in this world." She knew he had to know what she meant.

"I'll let Alex always go in first," he promised, taking her hand in his and kissing it softly.

"Who's Alex?"

"Fellow assassin."

"Do your team members know this?"

"No. They just think we're really tough cops," he answered.

"Do they know about me?"

"Nobody knows about you."

"Hence the ring on the necklace," she noted, touching it.

"Yea," he said. "I wanted to have it on me somewhere."

"You could have slid it over your big fat toe," she said, and he burst out laughing, which made her giggle, and then they were wrestling. Ten minutes later they were being intensely intimate again. Lying across his chest afterwards, Rita felt grateful he was her husband. There was no one else in the world she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

...

The next morning, Luke got called for a mission with Alex. He left Rita sleeping in their bed, but he did leave her a note on the nightstand to see as soon as she woke up. He kissed the side of her head and whispered that he loved her before slipping out and grabbing his gear. He met Alex at their favorite coffee shop.

"You look properly laid," Alex commented upon seeing him.

"Just well rested," Luke corrected.

"No, no, my friend," Alex chuckled. "I know what someone looks like after a good night of loving, and you have it all over your face."

"Who are we killing today?" Luke asked, changing the subject. He didn't want Alex to know about Rita. He didn't entirely trust him yet, and he doubted he ever would. There was something about him that Luke didn't like, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Gerard Stokes," Alex answered, handing Luke a file. "Arms dealer. He's trying to supply weapons to our pals in the Middle East."

Luke surveyed the file and felt a surge of anger. After everything that had happened in New York, he had no patience for people who were in cahoots with terrorists, not that he ever did before.

"Let's go," he said, shutting the file with a snap. Alex nodded and led the way to his SUV. Luke climbed in the passenger seat, and they took off towards their destination.

...

Rita sipped her coffee as she reread Luke's note. Say what you wanted about him, he definitely had a sweet side to him that she was pretty sure only she knew of. Being around him again was helping with her negative thoughts, but she was still having them pop up here and there whether she liked it or not. It was hard to have him keep saying he didn't want her there, and she tried to understand it as best as she could, but it still made her feel sad and frustrated. Maybe he wanted to keep her safe, but he was making her feel like he was prioritizing work over her. He'd said that wasn't the case when she brought it up, and she had decided to let it go for now because she didn't want to fight with him, not with the little time they had together.

Now, she made herself think of last night, and she smiled because it was hard not to. They were still learning things about each other, and she still marveled at times the fact they'd only been with each other.

Then her hand tensed as she remembered Simon. She didn't count that as anything since she had been so young and he'd only touched her twice and hadn't done the full deed with her, but he'd done enough. She didn't even want to think about Trevor and what almost happened there. She thought about her counselling sessions and what to do if she started having flashbacks or thinking about it again. She gritted her teeth, trying to force the images and feelings associated with them back down below the surface, her fingers reaching to slide back and forth along her chain on her neck, the one Luke had given her. Just touching it was soothing enough for her; it was as though she was touching him, and that helped. She exhaled slowly. That time was behind her. It belonged in the past, not here in the present.

She heard the door open and looked up to see Luke enter the apartment. She gasped upon the sight of blood all over him.

"Luke! What happened?!" she exclaimed, rushing to him. He put out his hands to keep her back.

"It's not mine," he answered, making her feel instantly relieved and then a bit nauseous.

She put a hand over her mouth. "Your target?"

"Yea."

She watched him strip to his knickers and carry his clothes to a metal barrel in the middle of the apartment. He tossed them in before going to get showered and changed. When he came back, he carried the barrel out to the balcony and lit a match, dropping it on top of the clothes. He kept it contained and put it out once his clothes were gone. Rita watched him come back in and finally saw the bruise blossoming just under his eye and cuts on his cheek.

It made it very real all over again what he was doing here.

"He fought back?"

"Let's just say we didn't get the drop on him like we planned."

"We?"

"Alex and I."

"Oh. You work as a team for special assignments?"

"Yea."

"Is he good?"

"He's alright. I know he'll have my back," Luke answered, rubbing his face with his hand. Rita felt slightly nauseous again, picturing him killing this mystery target and getting hurt back. She went over and hugged him, feeling only a little better as he held her close in return.

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Don't worry about me," he said, holding her at arm's length so he could look at her fully. "Okay? I'll be fine." She nodded. "Come on. Let's enjoy the rest of this weekend together, shall we?"

She nodded again, and he smiled and kissed her lightly before going to make lunch. She suddenly felt bad for thinking ill of his job. Without him, innocent people were at risk. She worked to push it all out of her head. If she didn't, she'd never be able to do her day to day routine. As much as it scared her in this moment that Luke was doing this type of work, it scared her more to think about what would happen if these people were left to do their evil deeds. She could only hope and pray that Luke would return in one piece after each job, and she could only hope that one day they'd figure out their living situation. It was all she could do.

...

Luke hated to see her leave when the weekend was over. She held onto him tightly at the airport, and he shared the same feeling of despair.

"Just a bit longer," he promised. "Then we'll be together full time."

"Okay."

The speaker called out her flight, and he cringed inside as she pulled away from him and picked up her bag.

"See you in two weeks," she said.

"Yea," he agreed. It was his turn to fly down to see her. He hoped nothing would come up beforehand and cancel it. She smiled sadly, and he lifted the right corner of his lips a little in return. Then she was gone.

He got back to his apartment and felt empty without her. He even missed the cat, which he only saw when he was in New Orleans. He didn't get to miss her for long before he had to start his night shift at the police department. He put all of his focus into that, for that was his job now, but he still thought of her here and there. He wanted to make her proud, to have her realize he was also doing this for her whether it felt like it or not.

He also wanted to make Lance, his father, and his mother proud, to have them know that they hadn't wasted their time...that he was trying to make a difference the best way he knew how.

Two Weeks Later

Rita was trying not to cry. Luke was supposed to come see her, and he was currently telling her that he was unable to make it, that he had to stay and work.

"I'm sorry," he said. She could hear that he meant it. She just felt frustrated.

"It's okay," she replied. "I mean, I'm going to be moving there soon anyway." There was silence, and she suddenly had a frightening thought: Was he going to end their marriage?

"Luke?" she said, her voice small sounding.

"I really wanted to have this conversation in person," he started.

"Oh my God," she said. "You're leaving me..."

"No! Rita, no," he said quickly and firmly. "I've just been thinking that it might not be the right time to have you here with me."

"Why not?" Her heart was pounding, but even though she was relieved he wasn't leaving her, hearing that he didn't want her there still hurt.

"I just need to get a better feel for Alex," Luke said. "There's something off about him, and I just don't want him finding out about you. He's picked up on every time we've been together so far, and I don't like it."

"Oh." She didn't know what that meant, but if Luke didn't like it, then she should trust him. As disappointed and upset as she was, she knew he took things seriously and wanted to do everything he could to keep her safe.

"You know I love you more than anything, right?" he asked, sounding worried.

"Yes," she answered. "And I love you."

"I'm going to try and get away soon," he promised. "Okay?"

"Okay." Rita's thoughts charged around in her head, but she didn't want him to see just how upset she was. She didn't want it to distract him and get him hurt on the job. She decided she had to put on a brave face despite wanting to hang up on him and curl in a ball under her covers.

"Are you in bed?" he asked next after a moment, and she flushed, knowing what was coming next. At least this would help distract her from her disappointment for a bit. She also knew he was feeling bad and was trying to help the situation as best as he could.

"Uh huh," she answered, gripping the phone a bit tighter. She heard him smile on the other end.

Months Later—2002

Rita ran towards Luke at the airport. He grabbed her and lifted her into his arms tightly, and to her dismay, she burst into tears. They'd only seen each other twice since her last time there, with the last visit almost a month ago, and that was because every time he tried to come to New Orleans, a job would come up and prevent him from leaving. Her work had her busy more and more, so she couldn't get away as much either. Long distance was beginning to be too hard. She wanted to move there, and he kept saying soon, but then he'd find a reason to hold off. She knew he was afraid of his team knowing about her, that she wouldn't be safe here, but she couldn't keep doing this. It was killing their marriage.

"I missed you so much," she cried into his ear, and he clung to her even tighter.

"I missed you too."

She started to laugh through her tears as he began to walk out of the airport with her hanging off him like a monkey, her suitcase rolling behind them. Once they reached the doors, she slid down to the ground and took his hand in hers so they could walk out together side by side.

He loaded her suitcase into the trunk of his car and pulled the passenger door open for her. She smiled at his chivalry.

"It's been so exhausting opening my own car door all this time," she teased.

"You're welcome," he replied, smiling as she patted his cheek before getting in. She held his hand as they drove to the apartment. Once they were inside, she suddenly felt shy. It had been so long, and yet she'd missed him like crazy.

"No cat hiding in the luggage?" he asked, teasing.

"No. She hissed at me when I tried."

"Probably for the best," he said. She watched him put her suitcase into the bedroom, and she wanted to follow him in there, but her feet wouldn't move. She wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She wanted him. She'd wanted him for days, weeks, but she felt shy suddenly.

Luke built up to it gradually throughout the day by touching her gently on the arm, shoulder, and back whenever he walked by her. When he went to make her coffee, she slid her arms around him from behind, pressing her cheek against his back. Just feeling him again was comforting. He stood still long after he finished, his hands resting on her arms across his stomach. She wondered if he could tell she still worked out and did all the things he'd taught her to do years ago. It made her think about catching him working out and how that used to make her feel.

"Luke?" she asked, feeling a sudden, intense attraction to him in that moment.

"Yea?"

"I need you."

He wasted no time turning around, picking her up, and setting her down on the counter, sliding his arms around her to pull her into him and catching her lips with his.

It all came back to her, how easy it was to do this with him. She could feel his urgency and hoped he could sense hers. She tossed his shirt, running her hands over his chest, shoulders, and arms slowly and then quickly while he groaned and kept kissing her. They explored each other with their hands a bit longer before he lifted her off the counter and held her against him, kissing her neck and collarbone as she tilted her head back. Then she was pulling him down onto the floor on top of her, and the rest was as familiar as the back of their hands.

She was holding him close as they got their breaths back when his phone rang.

"Urgh," he groaned, lifting his head as the machine clicked on.

"Luke, it's Alex. Call me back ASAP. We got a job." The phone clicked off, and he rested his forehead on the floor with a thud, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"It's okay," Rita said, feeling a mixture of satisfaction from what they'd just did and dread for him leaving at the same time. She didn't really want him to leave, but there wasn't much she could do about it.

"It's not, but thank you for saying it," he sighed, nipping her shoulder fondly before getting up. She got dressed quickly and watched him get ready.

"I'll have something ready when you get home," she offered.

"Thanks, love," he said, giving her a small kiss before heading to the door. Rita hugged herself when he was gone. She'd signed up for this. She knew this was the deal with him living here and being an assassin, but sometimes, like right now, she hated it.

...

"There it is again," Alex commented as they surged along side by side down the street.

"What?"

"That look on your face that says you got some. Did I interrupt?"

"No, and no," Luke replied, pulling out his pistol and putting the silencer on. They rounded the corner together.

"It's okay if you're seeing someone, Luke."

"My personal life is none of your business."

They met resistance instantly, and both were engaged in gun battles for about ten minutes before meeting up again. Their main target was in the basement, probably locked in a panic room.

"Is she hot?" Alex asked, picking up where he'd left off.

"Stop asking me questions I'm not going to answer," Luke replied.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Luke said nothing as he rammed open the panic room door. Their target began throwing things at them, which they dodged easily. Once it was over, Luke left Alex to wrap the body up. They drove to their designated spot where they disposed of bodies.

"Can I meet her?" Alex asked after a moment.

"Have a good evening, Alex," Luke said, turning to leave. Something about Alex wanting to meet Rita didn't sit right with him, but despite trying to find what was off about him, Luke only found a dedicated assassin with a very boring life outside of work when he looked into him. All the same, though, he hoped Rita and Alex would never cross paths.

He got home to find Rita putting together a homemade pizza, which was Lucy's dough recipe. It made him suddenly really miss the farm and everyone there.

"You spoil me," he said, hugging her from behind and kissing the side of her cheek. She still caught his hand as he went to snag a piece of pepperoni despite his effort of distraction.

"No snacking," she warned playfully, but he just moved his head closer to his hand and ate it from his fingers anyway.

"It always tastes better before it's cooked," he reasoned. "Even better when you're making it."

"Of course it does," she said, slightly sarcastic, but she was smiling. He went to lean against the counter next to her, crossing his arms.

"How are you?" he asked, making her look at him.

"I'm fine," she answered, sounding slightly puzzled.

"No, how are you really?" he urged. "I know you're struggling because I am." She didn't say anything for a moment as she finished shredding cheese over the sauce. She set the shredder down and turned her head to look at him finally.

"I'm very worried we aren't going to make it," she confessed. He felt his chest tighten, but he knew it was a valid fear. The long distance was hard, but he was afraid to have her here for fear someone came after her from one of his jobs. He'd promised Lance he'd keep her safe.

"As long as I'm breathing, I belong to you," Luke advised. "Always." She said nothing as he moved in to kiss her softly, resting his hand on her cheek. He hovered his face next to hers after, searching her eyes.

"You can belong to me as much as you want, but if we aren't in the same place, how are we supposed to have a relationship?" she asked. "How are we supposed to grow together when we're apart so much?"

Luke didn't know what to say, but he knew she was right. He took his hand back slowly as she kept looking at him.

"How much longer are we going to do this?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just don't want you to get hurt, and something in my gut keeps telling me to keep you away from here full time. I can't explain it."

"Well, I can't do this forever," she stated. "So either I make the move here or you quit and come back to New Orleans."

"Just give it a bit more time," he said. "Please? Something has to give here soon."

"How much more time? A month? Six months? A year? Luke, I can't...I can't do this. I'm telling you," she said. He didn't want to lose her. God, he couldn't lose her. He ground his jaw slightly, thinking. Dennis would be annoyed if he quit, but he couldn't lose his marriage.

"Six months," he said. "If by then I still don't feel good about you coming here, I'm quitting and coming back to New Orleans. I'll quit it all and find a different job."

"You'll quit being an assassin?" she clarified, sounding surprised.

"Yes. I mean it."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay," she replied quietly.

"I love you," he told her strongly. "With all my heart. You know that, right?"

"I do," she answered. He kissed her again, a bit harder this time. Then she pulled back to finish making supper. He realized a bit later that she hadn't said she loved him back.

He had no idea what to make of that, but it scared the shit out of him.

Four Months Later—2003

Rita was back in New York again. She had decided it was easier to come to him so at least she was there when he came home from a job and could see him in the interim. She managed to get away twice a month to see him, which was better than nothing but still hard, and it had been just a month since her last visit this time. Spring was starting, which was nice. She was trying to focus on that instead of all her doubts and worries about her marriage. Sometimes she thought maybe Luke was cheating, but she didn't like having those thoughts and tried hard not to. They hadn't really talked about The Deadline since Luke spelled it out, and Rita knew he still didn't want her here, so she held on to hope that he was going to quit and come home. If he did that, they could save this marriage. She didn't want to lose him either.

She'd gotten to the apartment while he was still at work, and she looked forward to seeing him soon. She was tidying up when someone knocked on the apartment door. She felt curious as to who it could be. She knew Luke didn't have any friends. She pulled open the door and, for a second, her brain fumbled with forming words in her mouth. Her heart raced and her breaths became shallow.

"S-Simon?" she said, and the man before her smiled that all-too-familiar cruel smile. He stepped into the apartment, and she backed up as he advanced on her.

"Did you think I wouldn't ever find you?" he asked menacingly. "That I'd forget what you did?"

"I d-didn't d-do anything," she stuttered, feeling terrified. It was like all her training went out the window. She couldn't remember a single thing Luke had taught her as Simon wrapped his fist around her throat and shoved her down on the table. It was like she was eight years old again, powerless against this evil force.

"I've been watching you for years," Simon whispered, squeezing tighter and making her choke. She tried to kick him, but he simply lifted her and slammed her down on the floor to wind her, resting a knee on her pelvis and pressing his weight down on her while he still choked her. Her vision was getting blurry as she tried to hit his pressure points. He easily caught her wrists with his other hand and held them down over her head. He was a lot stronger than he used to be.

"Your dad made the right call sending me away. I was gonna kill you that night because you got my mother killed."

Rita tried to shake her head but couldn't.

"You ever wonder why I hurt you? It's cos you took my mother away. She loved you more than me, and no matter how much I acted up to get her attention, she just turned more to you. You could do nothing wrong. You took her from me, so I took her from you. It's your fault she's dead, Rita."

Rita wanted to tell him it wasn't true, but she couldn't. The rage and hatred in his eyes was terrifying.

"I could kill you right now," he said as she squeaked and tried to breathe. "You deserve it." She tried to shake her head again, but she still couldn't.

"I came back to check on you," Simon went on. "And to my surprise, Lance takes in a boy and treats him more like a son than he ever did with me."

Rita wanted to tell him it wasn't true. She wanted to tell him that her father had tried everything to bond with him, that Simon had refused to reciprocate. She knew he had his own twisted version of reality, though. He'd never believe it.

"Do you know how surprised I was to find out who Lance really was when Colter told me?" Simon asked. Rita felt that name jar her brain hard. Colter had killed her father.

"It was shocking," Simon went on. "My step-father...an assassin. It blew my mind. Apparently, Colter had been watching your daddy for a while, waiting for the right time to take him out. He trained me to be who I am, and then I watched as Lance contacted his old buddy to make him Luke's commander, so I bided my time and approached Dennis myself. I wanted to get close to this boy you fell in love with so that one day I'd take him from you too."

Rita felt tears slipping out now, and Simon smiled.

"I can kill your beloved Luke very easily," he went on. "He puts his trust in me every single day. It would even look like an accident. I'm very good at that, if you recall. No one would be the wiser. Or, I could expose him for what he is and let an arms dealer take him out. Would you like that?"

She tried to shake her head again to no avail.

"How about, then," he said, releasing her throat a little so she could gasp in some air, "I make you a deal?"

"What deal?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"You leave," he answered simply. "You leave him and never come back. I think that would hurt you more, and it's only fair since I was forced to leave home at 13 years old. Do you know what that was like for me? To be exiled? To be sent off on my own to fend for myself?!"

"Dad t-tried to find you to b-bring you home, but you w-were gone. Y-You could have c-come back," Rita tried, but he clamped down around her throat again, cutting her off.

"Not gone. Colter picked me up and trained me, so I spent some time abroad. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. If Lance had brought me back, I would have killed you, and he would have killed me. No, it's better this way, that we didn't meet again until now. I wasn't sorry to hear Lance died the way he did. Hell, I wish I'd been the one to pull the trigger," Simon said. Then he smiled slowly and moved to whisper in her ear. "Oh wait, I was."

Rita felt rage then. It was overwhelming, and she wanted to kill Simon with her bare hands. She suddenly understood what Luke must have been feeling when he'd found Keira's killers. Simon still had her unable to move, though. He laughed at her efforts to escape.

"I killed your precious daddy," he said louder. "He died afraid of me. If Colter hadn't failed to get you, I would have killed you that day too. He wanted to train you, but I had other plans." Rita wanted to scream. All this time she'd thought a stranger had killed her father. It had been Simon all along.

"Do you want the same fate for Luke?" he asked.

Rita shook her head slightly, which was barely any movement since he still held her firm.

"Good. Then we have a deal?"

She nodded, more tears sliding down her cheeks. As much as it hurt to leave Luke, it hurt even more to imagine him getting killed by Simon, who she now figured out was his partner Alex. He'd gotten rid of his accent and changed his name, but he was Simon.

"If you even think about telling Luke, he's dead," Simon/Alex went on. "If you ever contact him again, he's dead. If I see you anywhere near New York again, he's dead, and then I'll come for you next. Got it?"

She pulled at his fingers, and he let go of her neck, making her gasp in air greedily.

"I'm the only one who is more powerful than Luke. I'm the only one who will ever be able to kill him. He is not safe from me if you don't comply. Do you understand?" he asked again.

"Yes," she rasped. "I understand."

"Good. You have ten minutes to get out of here. Don't even think about going home to New Orleans. I'll be watching." He patted her cheek, and she jerked her head away. He laughed. "Like old times, huh? You want me to make you feel good before you leave?" He laughed harder as she twisted away from his hand. He got off of her, chuckling still as he walked to the door to stand and wait for her to leave. Crying, Rita hurried to pack her things. Then, as she faced Simon, she grew furious. She suddenly wasn't about to let him bully her again. She waited until he opened the door and looked in the hallway before attacking him.

"Aaaarrgghhh!" he bellowed as she landed on his back, ramming her fingers into his eye under his glasses. He slammed her against the wall, making her cry out in pain, but she held on. She rammed her elbow into his neck hard, but he reached around to yank her off like she weighed nothing. She hit the ground, and, within seconds, he was pressing a knee into her neck while she scrambled to get him off. He slapped her hard, stunning her.

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" he asked, barely breaking a sweat. He reached into his coat pocket, and she thought she was done for. Instead, he held up a CD, and she stared at it.

"I think you need to know just exactly what your precious Luke thinks about you before you fight to stay," he said. "Go ahead. Put it in. I was gonna spare you this, but I think you need to see it. I think you'll find that he's not even worth fighting for." She took it with a shaking hand, and he let her go so she could put it into the DVD player. The screen filled with an image of an interrogation room, and Luke was sitting there writing out notes with Simon standing next to him.

"What did she do now?" Simon asked on the screen.

"She's a f***ing bitch," Luke said.

"Ouch."

"She's been acting like that for a while now," Luke answered. "It's all good. It'll be over soon."

"Over?"

"Yea. I'm just waiting for the right time to deal with her."

"What are you gonna do to her?" Alex asked, sounding slightly gleeful.

"When I'm done with her, well...words can't even describe it."

"Well then..."

"I'd love to put a bullet into her, you know? It might straighten her out. God, she pisses me off so much."

"Hey, we're still rolling, eh?" Simon said, gesturing. Luke's head snapped up to the camera.

"Oh shit," he said. He got up and turned it off, making the screen go fuzzy and then dark.

"I don't believe it," she said thickly. "He wouldn't talk about me like that..." She was panicking. Did Luke know who Simon was? Were they having a good laugh at her behind her back? He'd told her no one at work knew about her...had he lied? Why would he lie? Her brain was going in overtime now, and she couldn't make it stop.

"Rita," Simon said, sounding sincere, but she knew it was fake sincerity. "I'm an expert at killing people. I'm not an expert at technology. I can barely work my computer. I didn't fake this. This is real." He gestured to the TV. Rita pulled out the CD with shaking hands. "Luke has talked shit about you this entire time. Didn't you ever wonder why he didn't want you to move here? He didn't want you to know his true colors. The boys at the station get a good laugh out of what he says about you all the time."

Rita's mind was spinning. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. He'd said no one knew about her. He'd said he didn't like Alex...

"He said...he said no one knew about me..." she tried.

"You always were gullible," Simon chortled. "Of course we all knew about you! And apparently, you're quite the romp in the sack too." He tilted his head at her. "I can see that. I remember what you liked. I guess I missed out on the rest."

Rita barely held back a sob. She couldn't understand what was happening right now. She couldn't make anything make sense in her head. It was all just spinning.

"I've always hated you," Simon went on. "I still do, so I will kill you if you don't leave, that's a promise. If you want me to kill him for being a bastard, I'll do it."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'll leave. He can suffer in his own misery." She could hear his voice saying the words over and over again...see his face. She felt stabs to her heart with every word. It hurt so much to think that he'd pretended to be this decent person with her. Had he been like this all along and she just missed it? All her fears and doubts and insecurities assaulted her at once. Her brain wasn't thinking straight, but one thing kept chanting in her head over and over:

He lied, he lied, he lied, he lied...

"Keep it," Simon said. "You can have it analyzed all you want. It's real."

"Simon," she started. It had to all be a mistake. It just had to be, but she kept thinking about Luke not wanting her here, for insisting he didn't want her here. It was starting to feel like it was really true, that his worries about her safety had all been a huge lie. It was starting to seem like he didn't want her here because he didn't want her to see this part of himself. How? How had she missed it? Her brain was arguing with her strongly. She knew Luke...she knew him well.

Do you? the voice in her head whispered. Do you really? He lied about being an assassin for years after all...who's to say he hasn't still been lying to you?

"Get the hell out of my sight," Simon ordered, and she got to her feet, grabbed her bags, and fled. Sobbing harder now, she left the apartment building and made her way to a car rental place. With shaking hands, she signed a contract, took the keys, and made her way to the silver sedan. She threw her bags in the back and got in the driver's seat.

She had no idea what the hell she was doing, but she knew for damn sure she wasn't going to stick around so Simon could kill her, and she definitely didn't want to see Luke right now, not after hearing all that. If it was fake, Simon wouldn't have given her the CD to test it, but she'd find someone who could analyze it one day, just to be sure. She drove, putting distance between her and Luke. It broke her heart; she knew he'd be just as broken to find her gone, but it was too late to turn back now, and a part of her was angry and hardening and didn't care. He wanted to put a bullet into her. She pissed him off. He'd said it himself. Was that another reason why he didn't want her living there with him? Did he just bring her around for a good time and then send her on her way again? Did she really drive him nuts and he lied about saying he enjoyed her questions and bookworm tendencies? Had he faked everything this whole time? She bit her fist before she screamed and pounded it on the steering wheel. That's what she got for trusting him. The long distance had killed their marriage, just like she'd feared. Hell, he could be cheating on her too for all she knew.

Simon's threat played through her mind over and over. She knew he would kill her if she stayed, his hatred for her was that strong. She didn't doubt he'd kill Luke too, and even though she was furious at him right now, she didn't want him dead. She didn't think she needed to test Alex's promise to kill him if her marriage was going to implode anyway, which, from the sound of it, was going to happen soon.

So she did as she was told. She disappeared.

...

Luke exhaled roughly as he slid the key into the lock and opened his apartment door. He went inside, shrugging off his coat.

"Hey, love," he called. "I'm home." He felt bad for not picking her up at the airport, but he'd gotten stuck on a case and couldn't get away early as planned. She'd called him to tell him she was at the apartment and safe about two hours earlier. He kicked off his boots and padded down to the bedroom, a smile on his face at the thought of seeing her again. Sometimes, she liked to surprise him in there. He nudged the door open and frowned upon seeing it empty.

"Rita?" he called, starting to look for her. There was no sign of her. He thought maybe she'd gone out when he noticed her bag and suitcase weren't there. He tensed.

"Rita?!"

He rushed around to find that nothing of hers was there. He felt panic. What the hell was happening?! He felt sick. He felt scared. Rita was gone. Nothing was out of place. If she was kidnapped, she wouldn't have taken her suitcase and bag. There was no sign of a struggle. There was only one thought that went through his mind after all of this deductive reasoning:

She'd left him. She couldn't take it anymore and had left. He'd officially screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him, and for what? A hollow, meaningless job?

He sank to his knees on the apartment floor, feeling the stab of hurt and anguish hit him over and over again, and then he unleashed a howl of pain.

The Next Day

Luke was in the apartment in New Orleans in seconds upon arriving. He'd gone to find her, to talk to her. He needed her to know he would quit, that he wanted their marriage before his job. He could tell Rita was not there the moment he entered, though. Remi came rushing to him, meowing like crazy.

He picked the cat up and started to walk around. He felt fear in his chest at the thought that something had happened to Rita. If she wasn't here, then where was she? If someone had taken her, then why would they have taken her things, even the stuff she'd left at his place? He refused to believe that she'd just left him like that. Yes, she was struggling with the long distance, but she would talk to him about it. She had always talked to him. Why wouldn't she have talked to him again?

He called Rachel, who answered on the fourth ring.

"Yea?"

"Hey, it's Luke."

"Oh, hey Luke..."

"Have you talked to Rita?" he cut her off.

"Um, no..." Rachel trailed off. He could tell she was lying.

"Rachel, what did she say? Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?!"

"She just said she had to go."

"Go where?!"

"I don't know! She quit her job and said she wasn't coming back. I was going to pick up Remi later today."

"I got her."

"Oh, good. Do you want to keep her?"

"Why is she doing this?" Luke demanded, ignoring the question. Remi squawked in protest as his hand clutched her a little too tightly from the stress.

"I honestly don't know, Luke," Rachel said with a sigh, "but she did sound angry."

"Angry?"

"Yea. She wouldn't answer my questions. She...she's gone, Luke. I'm sorry."

"If she calls you again, please tell me."

"I will."

He knew she wouldn't. He hung up the phone and stared at the wall. Rita had left him. She'd left everything. She was angry. He had no idea why. She hadn't been angry with him recently, not that he was aware of. What made her angry? The long distance had made her sad, not angry. He couldn't figure it out. He sank down onto the wooden chair and held Remi in his arms, his last link to Rita.

"What am I gonna do?" he asked the cat, feeling tears again. "Remi, what the hell am I gonna do?"

How the hell was he going to live life without Rita?

...

Rita didn't even know where she was, but she ended up at a motel somewhere and decided to sit there for a few days just to figure out where she was going to go next. She missed Luke so much. The physical pain from that almost outweighed the emotional pain.

But his words kept going through her head. Those cruel, horrible words.

"Why?" she said out loud, crying. "Why?!" Why had he said those things? She hugged herself as she sat on the bed and felt despair. She cried and cried. Luke had mocked her to his colleagues. Luke had lied to her about them not knowing she existed. Luke had been planning to leave her. She didn't know him at all. She'd put her trust in an illusion. Or had she? Was there something else going on? Was Simon just messing with her? She didn't know in this moment, but every good memory of Luke kept jumping to mind regardless of how she felt, making her internally argue that it somehow couldn't be true, that she did know him. But that video...it was so real. It all just made her feel sick and want to scream. She couldn't stop seeing Simon's leering face either when she closed her eyes. It made her feel so angry, thinking about how he'd just thrown her around like nothing. She was also angry at herself for not fighting back, for going into survival mode instead of fight mode, but she couldn't go back and change it, and she knew that if she had fought back, Simon would have killed her without a question, and she hadn't wanted that either. It was a hard place to be stuck in.

She kept having nightmares again, and the pain from knowing Simon had murdered her father was almost unbearable. It opened all that hurt and pain once more, and it made her miss her father so much all over again. She had no idea how she was going to get through this.

But she had to. And she would. There really was no other choice.

There you have it. That's where Simon popped back up to mess with Rita's head. When I heard the songs Sator and Dukovich, I instantly knew they were his theme songs. Sator still gives me the chills. Anyway, Part II will have more of him in it, don't you worry. And if you've seen Safe, then you know what happens to Alex Rosen ;)

I hope I captured the spiral downwards for Rita. Having been away from Luke for so long, it was easier for her own thoughts to turn negative and make her doubt everything, especially after hearing his words. I've gone over this chapter so many times, but I think it's finally just right. I'll be delving into it more later anyhow.

Almost to the end of Part I! I can't believe it, but I'm excited to have you read Part II :) and Part III ;)