SIMON

Back in our room, Penny and Agatha seem to be in the middle of some kind of heart-to-heart. That explains why I'm still in my pants, relying on the goodwill of my arch enemy.

Baz surveys the scene for a cool five seconds then barks, "Out!"

Agatha doesn't need to be told twice. She's out the door in an instant, and Penny is left standing in her wake, hands on hips, glaring back and forth between me and Baz.

"I don't think so. Anybody care to tell me what's going on here? Basil?"

He just raises an eyebrow at her and then makes a show of pretending to sit down at his desk and pulling out a book to study. Or maybe he actually is studying, with him it's hard to tell.

"Oy, Baz. Why is Simon blurry around the edges?"

This must be what Baz meant about the spell not being entirely effective at concealment. "It's ok, Pen." I put an arm on her shoulder. "Baz spelled me invisible so no one would see me walking back with no clothes."

"Simon, there's no such thing as an invisibility spell. We've been over this before."

"I know, but—" I start to explain when Baz cuts me off.

"I did mention that, Snow. That's why you're only partially concealed." He sighs, like he doesn't know I was about to say the exact same thing. Then he turns to Penelope. "It's not a true invisibility spell, of course, but it did the job. Almost no one realized they were looking at the Chosen One traipsing about school grounds in his pants."

"Ok, I'll give you that. What spell is it then?"

Baz turns his back on Penny and picks up his book again. "Girls aren't supposed to be in Mummer's House, are they?"

She rolls her eyes.

Baz is being unnecessarily twatty. Penny likes unusual spells at least as much as Baz and there's no reason for her not to know. "It was kar—" I begin, but Baz cuts me off again.

"Enough!" He turns on Penny. With his eyes lowered he manages to look quite frightening. "Leave or I'll turn you in to the Mage for infiltrating the boys' dormitories."

Penny's looking back and forth between Baz and me again, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully. Then she opens her eyes wide.

"Ooooh It's karma chameleon isn't it?"

I nod. She looks absolutely delighted.

"Bunce." Baz says threateningly.

She smiles, and walks very deliberately over to Baz, puts her hand on his arm and looks up into his eyes.

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." Then she gives a squeeze and whispers, "For the time being."

Baz is seething. "Get out of here right now." He stands and pulls out his wand. "I'm seriously going to hex you."

Penelope's smile grows wider. "No you won't."

"He will, Pen. You'd better get going."

She just laughs. "Meet me in the library after lunch, Simon. There's a spell book I want to show you."

She turns to the door and Baz explodes out of his chair and hurtles across the room towards her, knocking me onto my bed on the way. He grabs her by the throat and pushes her out into the hallway, slamming the door behind them. He's going to push her down the stairs. I know he is. What's his problem? He was being almost nice, casting a concealment spell for me, not biting my head off while we walked back to our room together. And now he's gone fully ballistic.

I bolt out of the room, expecting to see Penny tumbling head over heels down the tower stairs. Instead she and Baz are involved in an intense whispered conversation at the end of the corridor. Penny glances my way when she hears the door close behind me.

"Fine," she says out loud, turning back to Baz. She raises her ring hand and points it at him. He reaches up to deflect but before he can she's speaking with magic.

"Karma chameleon."

Not a thing happens, other than Baz looking even more furious than before and Penny not meeting Baz's eyes.

I furrow my brow in confusion.

"Bunce!" Baz howls.

"I don't get it," I say. "Nothing's changed."

Penelope is looking just over Baz's left shoulder and smirking. Baz looks like he's just seen a gorgon: frozen in horror.

Then the lightbulb goes off.

"That isn't a real spell, is it?! You only pretended to cast it." I storm up to Baz and shove him. "You let me traipse through the castle practically naked just for laughs!"

It looks like Baz is trying to say something, but choking on the words.

Penny begins to head down the stairs, calling up after her, "Simon. After Lunch. The library. You and me." Then she turns and looks up, "You too Baz, if you'd like to be there for this." Then she winks at him, and practically skips down the stairs.