Chapter Summary: The companions and their guests deal with the aftermath of the events at Gomorrah. Beth strongly objects to House's next assignment, as does Arcade.

Chapter 29: My Way

Beth reached out to the other side of the bed as she opened her eyes, finding it empty. According to the clock on her Pip-Boy resting on the nightstand, it was nearly two in the morning. It was strange that Boone wasn't in bed. She got up and put on a light robe, then stepped quietly out of the room so as not to disturb Arcade sleeping on the fold-out couch.

The kitchen was dark and empty, as was the bathroom. The guest room door was closed and the threshold dark. The rec room door was also closed, but a dim light shone from underneath. Inside, Boone was sitting on the couch in the far corner, head leaning back, staring up at the ceiling with a beer bottle in his hand. He lifted his head as she entered.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," he returned.

"Everything okay? You didn't come to bed."

"Just...thinking."

"You want me to go?"

Shaking his head, he set the empty bottle down on the coffee table. "No, it's fine. Come sit." The First Recon beret was on his head as usual: he only seemed to take that off to sleep or shower. His aviators were tucked into the collar of his t-shirt; he wore them indoors less often lately. The dark bags under his eyes and his slumped shoulders made him seem particularly gloomy.

She approached and sat down next to him, tucking her bare feet under her. "Want to talk about it?"

He stared ahead at the pool table, rubbing his scruffy beard. "I'm glad we got Clanden, but...I'm wondering if I liked it a little too much."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to make him suffer for what he did. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what I might have done to him." He clenched his jaw. "But I don't want to turn into some sick fuck like him who gets off on hurting and killing people."

"You wanted to hurt him because he hurt someone you care about. That's understandable. That sadistic bastard deserved every bit of pain we gave him and then some. He was as evil as any of the Legion." She put her hand to his cheek and turned his head to face her. "You aren't anything like him. And you never will be."

"How do you know? After the awful things I've done..."

"I know you didn't enjoy them. You felt so horribly, in fact, that you felt you deserved to have everything taken from you. I know you would never let anything like that happen again." It broke her heart to see him have so little faith in himself.

The corner of his mouth twitched, but he said nothing.

"And I know how much you hate to see innocent people harmed, even strangers. Like the soldiers and slaves we've rescued from the Legion or the refugees at Bitter Springs. I've seen the look on your face after and it isn't just about sticking it to the Legion."

His expression softened. "I wouldn't have done any of that if it hadn't been for you."

"And I couldn't have done it all without you." She grasped his hand. "You were there with me every step of the way. You want to help people. You want to be a good person."

"Doesn't mean I'll be one," he said with a frown. "Especially with days like today."

"We've both killed a lot of people. My body count is probably higher than yours, even." In fact, she was very certain that it was. Boone only killed with individual bullets. She had wiped out entire bases full of faceless evil enemies.

"But you don't enjoy killing."

"When they're bad guys? Fuck yeah, I do. Legionaries, Fiends, slavers, raiders..."

"...Enclave?" he asked with a twinge of curiosity in his voice.

Beth's eye twitched at the word and she let go of his hand. "Especially them."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"No, it's fine." It wasn't really, but it was bound to come up sooner or later.

"I just...I remembered that you said they were 'your Legion. Did they...hurt someone you cared about?"

Looking down at her hands in her lap, she nodded. "My dad was killed in an Enclave attack." Her throat constricted as she said the words.

"Shit, I'm sorry." He reached out and put his hand on her knee. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want. If you do, I'm here."

"I suppose I know quite a bit about your...history. It's only fair you know more about mine. I should talk about it with someone eventually. I'd rather it was you." She sighed, leaning against him, prompting him to put his arm around her. "After my dad left the vault..."

"And me," she thought, pulling at a loose thread on the edge of her robe, breaking it off before it unraveled the hem any further.

"...he went back to the project he and my mother had started before I was born. Before she died. They were trying to purify the water in the Potomac River. One of the other scientists betrayed them to the Enclave."

It was Anna Holt. If faced with her now, Beth would love to put a bullet in the bitch's head personally. She hadn't at the time because she was not the same person then as she was now. At least Dr. Holt had died along with the rest of the Enclave at Raven Rock. She had wanted to be one of them, after all. It was fitting that she should die like one.

Beth gritted her teeth as hot, angry tears filled her eyes. "The purifier wasn't even working!" she snarled. "They didn't have the right tech for it, but it didn't matter. If the Enclave wanted something, they took it. By any means necessary. I watched my dad die right in front of me. And I couldn't do a fucking thing to stop it." She looked at Boone as she roughly wiped the tears trailing down her cheeks, knowing that he understood what that was like. "If it hadn't been for Charon, I'd have died there, too."

Boone gently combed her short hair back, planting a kiss on her temple. There wasn't anything he could say to take it away and they both knew that. Some things can be gotten over, but with others, one just has to find a way to live with them.

Before she could say more, a piercing scream from outside the room startled them. They looked at each other with worried eyes as they sat up, then rushed out of the room into the entryway. Arcade met them there, fumbling with his glasses in a sleepy haze. Beth quickly wiped the remaining tears before he saw them.

The scream sounded again, coming from the guest room. The three companions hurried through the door and Boone switched on the light. Gaby was kneeling on one bed next to Ana who was huddled against the headboard, clutching the blankets to her chest and sobbing.

"Ana, it's okay," Gaby said, moving closer. "You're safe here."

"No! He was here!" she sobbed. "I heard him!"

"You were dreaming." She embraced her sister, stroking her long, dark hair to soothe her. "He's dead, remember? Craig took care of it."

"I did," Boone confirmed.

"Craig?" Ana said, lifting her head from Gaby's shoulder, as though realizing for the first time that he was there and he hadn't been just a dream.

"I'm here." He stepped forward to her bedside.

At his presence, she loosened her grip on the blankets and her breathing seemed to calm. He sat down on the edge of the bed and she grabbed his hand. "He's really dead?"

"He is."

"Okay...good. I hope it hurt," she mumbled.

He looked back to Beth who was still standing in the doorway. "Hold on," he said to Ana, slipping his hand away.

"What? Where are you going?"

"Just...just give me a minute." He led Beth out into the entryway. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to interrupt what we were talking about."

If she asked, she knew he would choose to stay and comfort her, but she couldn't put him in that position. It would be selfish. She shook her pounding head. "Probably wasn't the best time to talk about all that anyway," she said, pushing her voice to be strong. "You should stay with Ana. She needs you more than I do right now."

"Are you sure?"

"My shit isn't new. I've been dealing with it for a long time. I can wait. Go."

Boone put his hand tenderly on the back of her neck and pulled her into a soft kiss. "I..." His lips pinched together and he sighed. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Not wanting to make him feel worse, she nodded with a forced smile. His sad eyes met hers and she could tell how horribly he felt about leaving her side. He turned and went back into the guest room.

Beth hoped that Boone could find some solace in what Ana had said and wished he could see himself for the compassionate, sweet, brave man that he was. If he were truly at risk for becoming what he feared, he wouldn't be so haunted.

Arcade came back into the entryway, shutting the door behind him. "She's already had as much Calmex as I'm comfortable giving her right now, given all the residual chems in her system," he said, rubbing his temples with one hand. "It's still not enough." He paused and looked at Beth with concern. "Are you alright? Your eyes are awfully red."

For a moment, she thought about telling him that, no, she wasn't alright, but she was barely keeping it together as it was. "Yeah. Just tired and worried about Ana," she said, clearing her throat.

"I think they have it under control for now. Why don't you go back to bed?"

"Okay. Night."

Returning to the bedroom, she wasn't sure she would actually be able to sleep now. If she did, she knew there would be nightmares of figures in power armor coming for her.

Breakfast the next morning was quiet, since no one had slept well. Ana was still asleep after another dose of Calmex a couple hours before. The others sat around the dining table with the eggs, sausage, and potatoes that Arcade had cooked for them. One of the best perks of working with Mr. House was a refrigerator reliably stocked with fresh, unirradiated food.

Gaby pushed her eggs around on her plate with her fork. "I need to go back to my post in a couple of days," she said. "I don't know what to do with Ana. She can't stay here forever and I don't have the money for her to get back home safely."

"Don't worry about the money," Beth said. "Mr. House will cover it. It's the least he can do after he trusted those bastards. And if he won't, we will."

Gaby shook her head. "No, I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask-we're offering. We all need help sometimes. God knows I have."

"And we want to help," Boone added.

Gaby chewed her lip for a moment, then said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Beth said. "Ana can stay here until she's ready to go back home. The only thing is, what about when we're off doing whatever for Mr. House or when the Legion finally attacks? Will she be okay staying here by herself?"

"Probably not. She really doesn't want to be left alone. The only time I can leave the room is when she's sleeping."

"You can't blame her after everything," Beth said sympathetically. The others muttered in agreement.

Arcade spoke up, "She could stay with the Followers at the Old Mormon Fort. It's safe, with plenty of people around."

"Maybe," Gaby said. "I should go check on her."

"I'll come with you. It's time for her antibiotics." He went to the sink and poured a glass of water, then followed her out of the room.

When they were out of earshot, Beth said to Boone, "Gaby's really going back? I don't understand. I know the Rangers are important to her, but if it were my sister, there'd be nothing anyone could do to drag me away from her like this. What's more important than family?"

Boone took a sip of coffee and set his cup down. "It's not just about her career," he answered patiently. "The rest of her family depends on the money she sends home. She has more than just Ana to worry about. Besides, even if she didn't, going AWOL has serious consequences. And desertion at a time of war?" He shook his head gravely. "That's heavy prison time. Hard labor."

"But you left."

"I left when my last tour was up. She re-enlisted. That's a commitment that she can't go back on."

"Oh. I guess I don't know much about the army."

He shrugged. "Why would you? You weren't a soldier."

It sounded dismissive, at first, but then she figured that there were plenty of things she had experience with that he didn't understand. She and Boone had lived very different lives before they met. "If Gaby can't stay with her, then maybe we should."

"I appreciate you saying that, but we both know the Legion is the most important thing right now. Like Arcade said, she can stay with the Followers. She's going to be seeing Dr. Usanagi regularly anyway."

"I hope you're right."

Reaching out, he took her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you last night. Especially after you were there for me."

"It's okay." She looked down at her plate and picked at her potatoes with her fork.

"No, it really isn't."

Arcade came back in the room, halting their conversation. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," he said.

"No, it's fine," Beth assured him, grateful that he had intruded before things got too heavy. She didn't want to get emotional with the others around. "How's Ana?"

"Better than last night."

A few minutes later, Gaby came back in. "She says she's hungry," she told them.

"That's good. She hasn't been eating much." Arcade got a plate and scooped the still hot food from the stove onto it. "What did she say about staying at the Fort?"

"She doesn't want to stay here alone, so she agreed it was probably the best option."

"I'm glad," Boone said.

It was certainly a relief. Her agreeing to the plan made things easier. Regardless of what he said, Beth knew he didn't feel good about leaving Ana. He was so comforting and patient with her, a sad reminder to Beth that he would have made such a good father.

Gaby and Ana stayed in the suite until the ranger had to return to her post. As much as Beth liked and was happy to have helped them, she was a little relieved to have them gone. The only fold-out couch wouldn't fit in the rec room, so Arcade had been sleeping in the master bedroom with her and Boone. The couple hadn't gotten much alone time to talk or do anything else.

After a couple of days being cooped up, Beth had started to grow restless with so little to do. The large suite felt crowded and claustrophobic with four other people in it, which was odd: she'd spent almost twenty years in a vault with far more people and hadn't felt that way. It had been her entire world. Now, she wanted desperately to get out and back on the road.

As soon as Gaby left and they took Ana to the Fort, Beth headed up to the penthouse to talk to Mr. House.

"Good afternoon, Elizabeth. I trust you enjoyed your days off," he said with a twinge of annoyance as she descended the staircase.

"Yes, I did. Thank you," she said brightly, ignoring his tone. "I think we all needed a break after everything that happened at Gomorrah. Ana is physically well and is going to be staying with the Followers until she's ready to return home." She sat in the chair in front of the screen.

"A most unfortunate situation, but would have been more so had the Omertas succeeded in their plans."

She had to agree with that. As horribly tragic as it was for Ana and Clanden's other victims, it would be far worse for everyone if the Omertas took over the Strip on behalf of the Legion. There was no telling how many people would have been killed or enslaved.

"Even though the bosses are gone," she said, "I think you'll agree we need to keep a closer eye on the Three Families. It may not be part of your original agreement with them, but you're in a much better position than you were seven years ago."

"I will take it under advisement," he said dismissively. "In any case, it is time to resume our work. Your next assignment is to infiltrate and destroy the Mojave chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel."

She let out a bewildered laugh. "What? You're not serious."

The air seemed to chill.

"You can't possibly think I'm going to do that," she added when he didn't respond.

It was a ridiculous request, especially to make to her of all people. Even if she hadn't been friends with a member of that chapter, she still had some goodwill toward the Brotherhood, in general. Things may not have worked out between her and them back in the Capital, but if nothing else, they still had been the enemy of her enemy.

"I'm confident you have the good sense to see that it is the most prudent course of action," he said in his commanding voice. "The Brotherhood are fanatics who believe every piece of technology is theirs to control. They will not tolerate my using an army of robots to defend New Vegas. They've already destroyed five of my securitrons near Hidden Valley in the last few years. Which is where I've long suspected their bunker lies."

"The chapter was mostly wiped out by the NCR at Helios One years ago and they've been staying isolated since then," she asserted. "Even if they did attack, the few that are left aren't much of a threat to you."

"Of course my full arsenal is more than a match for them, but I'd rather take care of it now instead of waiting for them to come knocking. Do you really want soldiers in power armor storming through the streets of Freeside?"

Beth gritted her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. He knew that she had an affinity with the people of Freeside and wouldn't want to see harm come to them. She didn't appreciate this attempt at manipulation.

"Besides, Elizabeth," he continued sternly, "this is not a democracy. I gave you an assignment and I expect you to complete it."

She laughed again, standing up. "The cards are on the table, Mr. House. You need me a hell of a lot more than I need you. I was fine before your overly-ambitious potential protege put two bullets in my head." She tapped her forehead for emphasis. "I don't need this."

"You think you were 'fine'?" he said incredulously. "Your talents were going to waste. I saved you from a pathetic life as a delivery girl."

"My life was not pathetic!" she snapped, gesturing with a pointed finger at the screen. "I was perfectly capable of 'saving' myself, if I needed to. I didn't ask for any of this."

For a moment, she wondered if he would try to threaten or strong-arm her into complying. All she had was her .45 pistol, which was hardly a match for even one securitron, let alone the half-dozen in the room. She didn't let her apprehension show, choosing instead to be confident in her worth to him. He couldn't afford to lose her support. The securitrons didn't move.

"Say you could snap your fingers and make it so you never picked up the Platinum Chip in the first place. Would you?" he asked with firm confidence. "Benny would not have shot you and you would have continued on as you were. Of course, you would not have met the brutish sniper, of whom you are so fond."

Beth paused, staring at the screen. While it would have saved her a lot of pain, she also would be giving up an awful lot. He was right that she probably wouldn't have met Boone.

"No, I wouldn't," she answered, her voice no longer raised. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to kill innocent people just because you ask me to."

"Innocent?" He scoffed. "Don't tell me you of all people buy into their nonsense about being the heroic protectors of humanity? Dross." She could practically hear his eyes roll.

She decided to try a different angle. "Even if I agreed to do what you're asking, how exactly do you propose I kill an entire bunker full of Brotherhood soldiers without getting myself killed?"

"You were able to eliminate larger fortifications of Enclave soldiers and survived. I also happen to know that the Brotherhood equip their bunkers with a self-destruct mechanism. Triggering it shouldn't be too difficult for someone adept at breaking into computer systems, such as yourself."

"You make it sound so simple to blow up a whole bunker full of people who so far have done nothing to you except destroy a handful of robots that got a little too close to their territory." It was difficult not to let her exasperation show, but she knew he wouldn't be responsive to overly-emotional arguments. "Since you're familiar with the files from my Pip-Boy, you know I have a history with the Brotherhood. I know the Mojave chapter isn't the same as the Lyons' chapter was back in the Capital, but they aren't evil. They're...misguided. Maybe they can be reasoned with. There has to be a chance for a diplomatic solution."

"You give people far too much credit."

"Lucky for you or we wouldn't be having this conversation," she said, one eyebrow flicking upward.

"Fair enough. Truces are temporary, however. As is the goodwill of the Brotherhood, as you know. They are fundamentally compelled by their precious codex to collect any and all technology they deem dangerous or useful. What they cannot take, they destroy. They will attempt to storm my gates sooner or later and I want them eliminated."

Clearly, he wasn't going to budge from his position. With a wave of her hand, she said, "Well, it won't be by me. I'm out. You can find someone else to run your errands." She knew that wasn't actually an option. Before she came along, the best he could get was Benny. Finding her was a happy accident. There was no way he could find someone else who was both capable and willing to do what he wanted. Benny certainly hadn't been.

"And what will you do? Go back to your old life, wandering the Wastes, squandering your potential?"

"What I do next is none of your concern." She wasn't sure what she would do. At least she wouldn't be alone. Boone was with her, regardless. Whether it be in a New Vegas suite or trekking through the desert, it didn't matter. That was comforting. The rest could be figured out later. "My friends and I will be out of the suite within the hour. Good luck, Mr. House. I genuinely hope you reach your long-term goals, even if I'm not a part of it." She turned and climbed the stairs.

When she reached the second-to-last step, he gave a grumble of frustration before saying, "Very well, Elizabeth. We will try it your way."

She turned back around, hiding her smugness. Giving in like that was obviously difficult for him and there was no need to gloat. "Thank you, Mr. House."

"Do not mistake this single compromise for weakness. I do not recommend further insubordination."

She stared at the screen and didn't respond. It was a weak, vague threat, but she supposed he needed to try to maintain his authority.

"I also trust that if and when the Brotherhood do pose a threat, you will handle them then," he added.

"You have my word."

When Beth returned to the suite, she found Boone and Arcade in the rec room.

"How was the meeting?" Boone asked, leaning against the wall as Arcade took the breaking shot to start a game of pool.

"Tense. He and I had a difference of opinion, to put it mildly. I almost quit. In fact, I did quit, but he relented."

"Just like Beth," Arcade said, walking around the table to choose another shot. "Could sell sand in the Mojave."

"You know it." She gave a playful wink. "You boys have fun without me?"

"Just kicking his ass at pool," Boone said.

"First game was just a warm-up," Arcade replied defensively.

Beth stroked her chin. "As I recall, I also kicked your ass in pool until you stopped playing with me," she said.

"Yeah, that's when I learned better than to play indoor games with a vaultie. Especially for 'just a friendly wager.'"

She chuckled.

"So, what's House's next assignment?" he asked, lining up another shot.

"He wants me to get in contact with the Brotherhood of Steel."

Arcade's pool cue slipped and sent a ball flying off the table toward her.

"Hey! Watch it!" she called out as she moved her foot out of the ball's trajectory.

"Sorry!" He put the stick down. "Wha—uh, what about the Brotherhood?"

Bending down, she picked up the ball and handed it to Boone. "House thinks they're going to be a problem in the future. He wanted me to, or rather ordered me to blow up their bunker until I threatened to walk out. Can you believe that?" She cocked her head to the side, looking at Arcade's flushed face. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing!" he said too loudly for the small room. "I just don't think they're anyone you should be messing with. They can be dangerous."

"He's not wrong," Boone agreed, chalking the tip of his cue. "The NCR and the Brotherhood have been enemies for decades."

"I know that," she said, "but I also know they can put their differences aside when fighting a common enemy. And right now, the Legion is a threat to everyone in the Mojave." While the Legion weren't exactly the Enclave, they did hold views that were diametrically opposed to the Brotherhood. The Legion didn't have the technology that the Brotherhood did, but they did have a much larger fighting force.

"That's true."

"Are you su-sure they're even in the Mojave?" Arcade asked, stuttering.

"Mr. House already had a strong suspicion, since a few of his bots were blown up near Hidden Valley," she said. "I confirmed that he was right." Actually, the files on her Pip-Boy had confirmed it, but didn't feel like quibbling about the details at the moment. She also didn't want to go into her history with the chapter back in the Capital Wasteland right then. That could wait for the long walk to the 188 Trading Post.

"How did you know?"

"Because I know someone in the chapter. Veronica." On occasion, they had stopped at the 188 together to get supplies for the Follower's Outpost nearby and he had met Veronica a couple of times.

Arcade's eyes widened, his forehead speckled with sweat. "Veronica?" he croaked. "Veronica's in the Brotherhood?"

Beth gave him a puzzled look. "Yeah, she's a scribe. I'm surprised she didn't mention it. She's not that secretive about it."

"In the future, could you let me know when I'm in the presence of militant cultists?"

"Sure thing," she said flatly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"When do we leave?" Boone asked, leaning over and shooting the cue ball into a striped one, which rolled into a side pocket, clicking another ball already inside.

"This is serious. How can you be playing pool when she's talking about walking into a Brotherhood bunker?" Arcade asked, bewildered.

"Helps me think." Boone took aim again and banked another stripe into a corner pocket. "Besides, if Beth says it's fine, then it's fine. I trust her judgment."

"Of course you do!" Arcade said sarcastically with mock cheer. "You two went skipping off into the Legion's Fort to assassinate Caesar and it was all fine, so everything's just fine! Hey, why don't we go befriend some deathclaws on the way. It'll be a hoot!"

"For fuck sake, Arcade," she said. "You're acting as though they'll shoot us on sight."

"They might."

"They won't." She put her hand on his arm and could feel how tense he was. "I know everything's been rather stressful lately. Let's eat a nice dinner and try to get a good night's sleep. Okay? Everything will look better in the morning."

"Maybe you're right," he said, stepping away from her and rubbing a hand over his face. "Um...I think there's some leftovers in the fridge. I'll go see." He glanced at Boone before wandering out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.

"What the hell was all that about?" Boone muttered.

"Fuck if I know. But after arguing with Mr. House, I don't really have the mental energy to speculate."

"You really think a truce with the Brotherhood will work?"

"Now you're questioning me?" she said with feigned outrage. "I thought you trusted my judgment." She smirked up at him, putting her hands on his waist to pull him closer to her.

His hand went to her cheek. "I'd follow you to Hell. You know that."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

He exhaled sharply. "Hey, um, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. There's something I wanted to say the other night, but it wasn't the right time. Now I'm thinking that there's never a perfect time." The serious tone in his voice made her nervous, but the way he was stroking her cheek with his thumb was reassuring.

"What is it?"

"I love you."

An involuntary gasp escaped her lips and she took a step back from him. "Boone, um..." Besides her father, no one had ever said those words to her before. Her mouth instantly went dry and her heart was beating fast. The room was getting smaller and she couldn't breathe. Something deep inside told her to run, that this was too much, too serious, that she couldn't handle it.

Her expression must have reflected what she was thinking because he frowned and added, "You don't have to say it back. If you don't feel the same way or if you're not ready..."

It was now or never.

"I love you, too."

Boone's mouth widened into a broad grin as he closed the distance between them and kissed her. In that moment, the fear seemed to drain away from her and she let herself sink into his embrace. It would be okay. She could trust him. He wasn't going to leave.

AN: Hey, all! I was originally going to have the "I love you" stuff a few chapters later in the fic, per the "slow burn" and have it even more angsty, but when I was writing this chapter, it just felt right to put it here. Boone's comment about it never being the perfect time basically summed up my feelings on the matter. Let me know what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.