Title: Sing, Porcelain Doll, Sing

Fandom: Transformers

Pairings/Characters: Sam

Word count: 1332

Warnings: Talk of gay bashing, homophobia, death

AN: Still doing the reposting/posting thing but almost done with the Transformer sets.

He could remember the day vividly. It was etched into his mind, never leaving, always hovering just barely there in the back of his mind.

The white walls.

The cloying scent of antiseptics that barely covered the stench of worry and dark hope.

The squeak of wheels and shoes on linoleum floors.

It was always there, the reminder that he had lost his world with one horrible act of selfishness. Not that anyone knew it, not even his parents knew the extent of his loss.

Sighing, Sam ran a hand through his soft hair, eyes trailing listlessly over the things that cluttered around his room before landing on the one thing that seemed so out of place. A photo album, thick and covered with leather, sat on his bed. Scrolled across the front was 'My Love and Life' in an intricate design. He could remember getting it the night that made him blush every time that he remembered that bittersweet night.

Standing up, he moved over and plopped down on the bed and stroked the lettering before flipping it open and staring at the first picture. It was of him and his world, another male, this one bulkier, with dark blond hair that curled around his eyes and a teasing smile as he wrapped his arms around the Sam in the photo, the two gazing at each other.

It had been taken before his world had been torn from him by those who just couldn't understand them.

Taking a deep breath, he continued to flip through the album, stopping on some pictures and speeding past others with a wince and a sting to his heart. The music that played on his stereo shifted from one song to the next, reflecting his mood oh so well.

Stopping, he stared at the last page with a sad smile on his lips as his eyes filled with tears and stroked the plastic covered the obituary and the card he had gotten at the resulting funeral. His heart screamed in pain as he read the words aloud.

"Miles Lancaster, age 16, died of hatred but lived life in love," he read out, voice thick and words filled with pain. "Oh, Miles."

Shaking his head, he closed the book and shook his head as he tried to fight the tears that wanted to gather and spill out over his cheeks. Looking to his wall calendar, he plucked it up from its thumbtack and stared at the red circle that circled the words 'Day of Silence', something that had been accepted widely in his school after Miles' death.

He had been the only known victim of the three gay bashers who had attacked him only on a rumor of them being together, but not the first in Tranquility. People had been much to lax in trying to change things socially and it had led to a series of murders that lead right up to Miles death, leaving Sam torn and in pain.

Putting the calendar back on its tack, he stood up and grabbed his I-Pod, checking his various accounts that he had before disappearing down the stairs, staring at his parents as they watched the news. Another set of gay bashers were being sent to jail, one even getting the death penalty, but then again, their victim hadn't been gay. He had been straight and with a wife and a baby on the way.

"Tomorrow is Day of Silence," Sam said quietly, Judy and Ron looking away from the TV. Both had smiles of understanding on their faces.

"We know. The boys down at the shop all agree that they'll keep the talk to a minimum when we're not with customers," Ron said, Sam smiling sadly and nodding. "Don't forget, if you get an A on your report, we'll go get your car tomorrow. I know that your history teacher has been informed of the thing and helped you set something up?"

"Yeah. My entire presentation was prerecorded, and I have a power point presentation to go with it and the such," Sam replied before putting his head phones into his ears. Disappearing out of the house, he headed down the street as he ignored the growing darkness around him.

The next three days would take his mind off his loss of his best friend and lover. Buying Bumblebee, freaking out about Bee stealing himself, then Barricade and meeting the Autobots followed closely by going to Hover Dam where Megatron got loose and the ensuing fight in Mission City pushed those thoughts far into the back of his mind.

But once everything was said and done, he and his parents resting at a new base as they were debriefed and the Autobots were settled, he found himself sitting on a roof, watching the sun set as his memories of Miles once more filled his head. He could look at them from another way, feeling that he should have cherished those memories and the chance that they had to make them.

"Samuel?" Optimus enquired from next to him, jerking Sam out of his thoughts as he wiped at his face. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I am, don't worry about it," Sam replied, pulling out a tissue from one pocket and blowing his nose before once more wiping off his face.

"Are you sure? You seem…sad, but not quite," the large mech said, optics taking in the young human that had saved him and his people, hopefully ending their war.

"I am. I was…I was just remembering someone that I lost sometime before I met you guys," Sam replied, blushing lightly.

"I am here if you wish to talk," Optimus offered. Sam gazed up at him, his mind scrambling to find the words to tell him just what he wanted to say before the words just started to tumble out of his mouth.

He told him all about Miles, how they had met as children, how they had secretly dated, knowing that if they came out, they would not be welcomed in any way and more likely terrorized. He told him how they had fallen into a love that had been surprising to them, neither of them expecting it but welcoming it with open arms.

He told him about how Miles had been jumped by three guys from their high school, attacked because of a rumor. He told him how he had gone to the hospital only to see Miles in a bed, machines breathing for him and drugging him, keeping his lover from feeling the life taking wounds that the teenagers had left him with.

He told him about how he had been there when Miles had let go finally, squeezing his hand and smiling around the breathing tube that had been shoved down his throat. He told him about the fog of depression after, the funeral, the arrests. The trial that was too little too late. He told him about Day of Silence and how the entire school outside of a few had been utterly silent the day that he had bought Bumblebee.

He told him about his own pain and the healing that was slowly starting and through it all, Optimus just smiled softly and offered comfort in the way of a large hand curling around him, pulling him close to his spark chamber.

And finally, Sam broke, crying the tears that he hadn't been able to cry, mourning for the one he had gained but then had lost in such a horrible way. He mourned for what could have been and what had been, but he rejoiced in the fact that his future was open to him once more.

He didn't have Miles' but he had friends who would understand the pain of losing someone, he had family who was there for him every step of the way, and he had a future that would allow him to help stop the irrational, unneeded hatred of any of those who were different in some way.

Even as he sat with Optimus and watched the sunset turn into twilight and then into the darkness of night, he felt his burden lift from his shoulders and leave him feeling free once more. No more haunting memories of white walls and antiseptic scents. No more lingering pain. Just happiness and a love that would always be but never would be again.