Chapter Five: Family Reunion
Early morning sun filtered in through the grimy windows of Elodie's favourite apothecary. Just after opening was her favourite time to shop at the Witch's Storeroom, since the staff restocked the shelves first thing in the morning. Elodie hadn't come in looking for anything in particular, so she was just browsing the sale shelves. Ingredients that were close to going bad or losing their natural magic found their way there at prices low enough to make staying up late to use them in a potion the same night she bought them worth it.
Elodie held a packet of seeds in her hands, eyeing it with suspicion. They were acretta seeds that were marked down to a third of their original price despite looking and feeling fine, both physically and magically. They seemed better than fine, actually — the colour and smell were characteristic of fresh seeds, they were firm to the touch, and casting her awareness around the seeds revealed they held more magic than the last packet of full-priced seeds she'd bought — and Elodie couldn't help but wonder if they were mixed in with the sale items by mistake. Oh well. The sale price was clearly marked on the packet, so it was her gain.
She knew exactly what she would make with the seeds: a revitalizing potion. Its proper name was a bit uninspired, and the first time Elodie brewed it, Cori had taken to calling it magic coffee instead. The sickly sweet potion certainly didn't taste as good as regular coffee, but it restored magic alongside wakefulness. It definitely had its uses for Alfea students; especially during exam season.
As she gave the sale shelves one last cursory scan, Elodie mulled over her ingredient stash in her head. The only other thing she'd need to pick up for a revitalizing potion was winterbloom caps, so she headed towards the aisle of mushrooms. Elodie could recognize winterbloom, a childhood favourite treat of hers, on sight, but she still skimmed the labels as she walked through the shelves, checking to see if there was anything new in stock. She tried not to let her eyes linger on the small print Product of Norroux that sat underneath many of the species names. Even after all this time, just seeing the name of her former home was enough to trigger her anxiety on her worst days. It was something she was getting better with though, and something she would need to get used to if she wanted to continue making potions.
On Norroux, with its weak sun and resulting cool, low-light conditions, plants didn't grow as well as they did on Magix. It was fungi that had evolved and diversified to fill the same ecological niches that those strange leafy green flowering plants did elsewhere. And it was fungi with uses in potions and medicines that were its main export. Most people in the magical universe would never hear of Norroux — it was small, relatively isolated, not politically or magically important on a large scale, and certainly not what most people would think of as an ideal vacation destination — but there were many potion makers who would happily talk your ear off about the unmatched diversity and quality of Nourraine fungus. Elodie wouldn't be able to escape that if she wanted to become one of those potion makers.
She found the ingredient she was looking for under its scientific name: Boletus hiemalis. It was a short, meaty fungus that thrived in frigid and dry environments, with a ridged cap that looked more like a flower than a mushroom from certain angles. Elodie had grown up calling it bol'd'hiver, though she wasn't sure that was actually its proper name in Nourraine. Winterbloom was the Magian name that she saw in her recipes.
The whole mushrooms were cheaper than just the caps, so Elodie grabbed a bushel and considered what she could use the stalks for. A snack, if nothing else. Winterbloom was unusually sweet for a mushroom — it was this sweetness magnified a hundred fold during brewing that give the revitalizing potion its taste — and they had been a favourite of hers ever since she was a kid. The caps were the best part to eat, but they were also the most useful part for brewing; packed with nutrients, and a great stabilizer in potions that could handle the protein and sugar content.
Elodie took her items to the cash, proud of herself for not grabbing anything extra, but she felt oddly anxious about making the purchases. She couldn't tell if it was worry that the clerk wouldn't honour the sale price of the seeds when they clearly didn't belong on the sale shelf or if she was starting to doubt her senses and maybe they did belong on the sale shelf. Either way, the feeling made no sense. At apothecaries, Elodie was in her element and despite the other difficulties with her magic, her senses had never failed her before. Maybe she'd just had too much caffeine that morning. Or maybe — she grimaced at the thought — she wasn't quite as okay with that small print Product of Norroux as she liked to think she was, even on her good days.
It didn't really matter. Elodie swallowed her nerves and quickly paid for her purchases. The clerk barely glanced at the acretta seeds and rang them up at the sale price without even remarking on it. When she'd started at Alfea, Elodie had convinced her aunt and uncle that potion ingredients were an academic expense — an investment in her future, really — and they were more than happy to give her money to buy them, within reason. She wasn't sure how closely they actually watched the account they had set up for her, but she was too afraid of having it taken away to test its limits.
She bid a quick goodbye to the clerk and left the apothecary, shopping bag in hand. It would have been more convenient to miniaturize the bag and put it in her pocket, but using magic on potions ingredients was always a bit of a gamble. Many could handle it just fine, but more volatile or magically active ingredients couldn't have magic used on them without compromising their integrity or worse. While acretta seeds weren't dangerous, they provided a frankly unbalanced amount of magic to revitalizing potions. When the majority of a potion's magic came from a single ingredient, it was crucial to treat that ingredient as well as possible.
Cori was waiting for Elodie outside Crossroad Records. It was a newly opened music store that mostly stocked band posters and merchandise, though there was a selection of CDs and records for collectors and super fans. The Witch's Storeroom was only a couple streets over, so it didn't take long for Elodie to rejoin Cori in the still growing line of people waiting for the store to open. Cori peered into Elodie's shopping bag.
"Did you get us any snacks while you were in there?" Cori asked in a joking tone.
"Actually, I did," Elodie said with a grin.
Cori laughed. "No way you got something you aren't planning to use in a potion."
"Listen," Elodie said. "Some ingredients are multipurpose." She pulled out the package of winterblooms and peeled away a corner of the wrapping to reveal the mushrooms inside.
"I don't think there is a single person in the magical universe who would consider a raw mushroom a good snack," Cori said, eyeing them with suspicion.
"Then the magical universe is full of people with bad taste." Elodie picked a winterbloom out of the bunch and took a bite out of the cap, enjoying the look of disbelief on Cori's face out of the corner of her eye. The absolute best way to have bol'd'hiver was the way her mom had always made it: Lightly friend with a bit of butter and brown sugar. It wasn't bad raw though, and it was totally worth it for Cori's reaction. Elodie held the package towards her friend. "Want one?"
"I'll pass, thanks," Cori replied, scrunching up her nose.
A ripple of excitement went through the line and Cori stood on her tip toes to see what was going on over the crowd. Elodie crammed the rest of the mushroom in her mouth and, since she had no hope of seeing over the crowd herself, pulled out her phone to check the time. The store was opening for what was certain to be its best business day so far.
Elodie had never been to Crossroad Records before, but she doubted it had this kind of line every day. That morning, Mars would be there, signing merch and meeting fans. It was her first public appearance since Thornes broke up, and Cori had heard rumours that the other members of the band might also be there. She had brought an old Thornes poster off their dorm wall just in case she could get them all to sign it. That wasn't all she had brought though. Her backpack contained a poster of Mars alone to celebrate the album's release, the actual physical copy of the album she'd bought, and a few things Mars had already signed once under her old stage name, Rose Red, all carefully miniaturized to make sure none of the posters would crease. The excitement in the air intensified when the line started to move.
"It's happening," Cori said.
Elodie smiled at her friend's enthusiasm. They weren't quite close enough to the door to make it inside right away. Cori started bouncing on her heels in impatience as they crept slowly towards the shop. Finally they were allowed in and as soon as they made it through the door, Cori arched herself around the crowd to see the front of the line. She let out a small squeal of excitement.
"Cinder Rose is here too!" Cori relayed to Elodie. "No Winter Rose, but two out of three isn't bad at all."
"Oh, that's great," Elodie said. She was slightly disappointed her favourite band member wasn't there, but more than that, she felt oddly nervous. It was the same heavy anxious feeling that had followed her in the apothecary and Elodie still couldn't figure out why it was there. Just a bad day, maybe?
"Take a look," Cori said, lightly poking Elodie and directing her to switch places.
Elodie complied and peeked around the other fans in line. Sure enough, sitting behind a table were both Mars and Cinder Rose. Cinder Rose was partially blocked from her view, but she got a good look at Mars and was surprised at just how much she'd changed in just two years since Thornes had broken up. She had stopped straightening her hair and cut most of it off, leaving her with a halo of dense curls framing her face. She was dressed more maturely and her makeup was more subtle too. There wasn't a single hint of glitter anywhere on her. There was an empty chair on Mars's other side, so maybe Winter Rose would be coming later. She considered asking Cori if she wanted to come back later, but decided against it. Waiting in line twice in one day wasn't Elodie's idea of a good time and she knew it wouldn't be Cori's either.
They arrived at the front of the line and too late, Elodie realized the bad feeling wasn't just too much caffeine or a bad day. Mars said something in greeting, but Elodie didn't hear it. She had locked eyes with Cinder Rose and in that moment Elodie knew — her magic absolutely screamed it at her — that Cinder Rose was another Shadow. There was no way Cinder Rose didn't know too. Her mind simultaneously raced with half-formed questions and shut down completely. A flicker of something passed behind Cinder Rose's eyes, but her face remained impassive until she took on a friendly smile.
"Oh, Sophie, it's so good to see you again," Cinder Rose said. "It's been so long. To be honest, I completely forgot you're old enough to be at Alfea now."
Elodie froze. She froze so deeply that she briefly wondered who Sophie was. (She was her twin. The dead one. The one she didn't think about nearly as much as she would if she were actually a good sister.) It certainly had been a while since she'd heard that name. Cori shot her a confused look and Elodie forced herself to thaw.
"Oh, no, sorry," she said, trying not to let her voice shake. Elodie looked away. She couldn't fool Cinder Rose, but maybe she could act sheepish enough to convince anyone else watching that she was simply starstruck. Elodie never had been a very good actress though. "You must have me mistaken for someone else. Sorry."
Cinder Rose's eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened. The cynical part of Elodie registered it as a perfectly calculated, not at all natural look of surprise. "Sorry, I must have," Cinder Rose said. "You're the spitting image of my little cousin."
Elodie's mind started to sluggishly work again as she wondered who exactly Cinder Rose was. She hadn't seen anyone from Norroux for ten years and Cinder Rose had changed at least a few things about her appearance in that time. During her time with Thornes, she'd been open about having work done on her nose and her bright blonde hair — which she'd had throughout her Thornes days and more recently spelled a red gradient into — was certainly not natural if she was a Shadow. Almost nobody on Norroux had hair that light and Elodie was certain that she'd be able to place Cinder Rose more easily if she was one of those rare people who had leucism or albinism.
"Well," said Mars, breaking the silence before it extended too long. "If you're going to sign anything for her, make sure you put the right name and not your cousin's."
"Of course I'll get it right." Cinder Rose scoffed. "I'm a professional, Marissa. I know what I'm doing."
"Right," Mars said with a laugh. "You. A professional."
Their casual exchange eased some of the tension and Cori handed the Thornes poster to Elodie as she started digging out the other prints and pictures she'd brought. Hands only shaking a little bit, Elodie unrolled the Thornes poster and slid it across the table. Mars was busy handling everything else Cori was throwing at her, so Cinder Rose reached for the poster first.
"Who should I make it out to?" Cinder Rose asked.
"Oh uh, it's your poster, so just to you, right Cori?" Elodie asked. The words came out quickly and she had to remind herself to breathe.
"It's going to hang in our room, so it should be to both of us," Cori said, still distracted with Mars.
"You sure?" Elodie asked, realizing that she suddenly wanted nothing less than to tell Cinder Rose her name.
Cori nodded and Elodie tried to calm down enough to consider her options. No good ones were coming to mind. She could lie abut her fake name — tell the truth about her real name? — but while that would keep the name she used a secret, it would make things weird with Cori. It wouldn't do much for her anyways. Cinder Rose didn't need to know what name she used to track her Shadow. To find her.
"To Cori and Elodie," she said, hoping her hesitation hadn't been obvious.
Cinder Rose grabbed a scrap piece of paper, scribbled to make sure her pen was working, and then wrote out their names to double check the spelling. She also, Elodie noticed, wrote something that was not scribbles or names at all and actually looked rather like a phone number. Cinder Rose signed the poster, slid it over to Mars to add her signature, and then rolled it up. When she handed the poster back to Elodie, Cinder Rose pressed the piece of scrap paper into her palm as well.
The rest of their interaction was a blur. Elodie could distantly hear Cori asking questions to both of them about their music and future plans while Mars finished signing, but Elodie's brain didn't process any of the words that were said. When Cori was finished, they both thanked Mars and Cinder Rose and quickly moved out of the way so that the next people in line could move forward.
Cori made a beeline for the merch shelves and started browsing with Elodie following like a lost puppy. Cori tried to strike up a conversation, but between the music playing in the store and the chattering of people waiting in line, it was hard to hear each other and Elodie was honestly grateful for that. They browsed in silence. Elodie felt like she was being watched, but every time she looked back, Cinder Rose was paying attention to Mars or to fans. It took Elodie some time to calm down enough to realize she wasn't being watched by eyes, but by magic. Cinder Rose's magic was following her, examining her, the same way Elodie had examined the acretta seeds. It didn't feel malevolent; it felt curious. Somehow that wasn't very comforting.
When Cori was finished looking around, they exited the store and continued walking in silence for about thirty seconds before Cori cracked.
"What was that about?" she asked.
"I have no idea," Elodie said, doing an absolutely terrible job of sounding nonchalant and unbothered. She considered telling Cori the truth — or part of it, anyways — but wasn't sure there was a sane way to explain that she was legitimately concerned a former pop star might try to murder her in her sleep.
Cori looked at Elodie like she didn't believe her, but didn't push the topic. As they continued walking back to the bus stop, the feeling of Cinder Rose's magic faded and Elodie started to regain the use of her brain. She spent much of their trip back to Alfea wondering if this was a situation that would be better helped by her uncle or her therapist.
An unexpected difficulty that came from Elodie's encounter with Cinder Rose was deciding what name to give her in her contacts. Elodie wasn't one to give people silly names in her phone, though she did occasionally add emojis for people she was closest too. Fireworks for her aunt, a mushroom for her uncle, and exactly six skulls and crossbones for Cori — per her request. It should have been easy to just add her as a contact, but somehow, putting Cinder Rose in her phone felt incorrect. Cinder Rose, the former teen pop star. Cinder Rose, the multi award-winning actress. Cinder Rose, her cousin.
But putting Marie-Ève Greymore in her phone felt similarly incorrect. The members of Thornes had stuck religiously to their stage names, even at the height of their popularity — it had played a big part in how easily Winter Rose was able to steal away from the public eye, and was why it had been such a big deal when Mars started releasing music under her real name — but Elodie was certain that's who Cinder Rose was. There weren't that many candidates, after all. She had only the vaguest memories of cousin Marie-Ève, and they were warring with her knowledge of Cinder Rose despite all the things that did match.
Elodie remembered Marie-Ève as a quiet girl — quiet, not shy or meek — who hadn't been very interested in spending time with her or Sophie, but what teenager did enjoy babysitting their little cousins? She had been kind to Léon, who was closer to her in age; she had spoken to him like an equal when many people, especially adults, spoke to him like some fragile thing instead. She had been studious and a lover of history, something that Elodie had found terribly boring as a child and that she honestly still found quite boring now, but she could at least appreciate it. It was all a little at odds with the larger-than-life stage persona that Elodie had become a fan of. She stopped herself. It was rather presumptuous to think that Cinder Rose was a stage persona, wasn't it? It had been ten years. People changed. This could just be who Marie-Ève was now.
She settled on Cinder Rose as the contact name.
Elodie had sent the phone number a single text later that night and gotten three in response first thing in the morning.
"What do you want?"
"To talk to you, cousin
Do you like bbt?
Meet me at Tealightful at 1030"
Elodie had no idea what her cousin would want to talk about, but the fact that she had survived the night was a good sign. Her ability to sense other Shadows was, just like the rest of her magic, stunted, but even fully developed, its range wasn't unlimited. However, Cinder Rose had already indicated she knew — or at least had guessed — Elodie was an Alfea student and once on campus, it would only take Cinder Rose a little bit of extra magic and effort to locate her. According to Elodie's uncle, it was the Greymores who had organized the murder of Elodie's family, and Cinder Rose could easily have finished the job if she'd wanted to. But she hadn't.
The Magix City streets were busier later in the morning, but even so, it didn't take Elodie long to find Cinder Rose. Cinder Rose was in a small seating area outside Tealightful, leaning against a table with her back to the street. Her hair up in a beanie, presumably in an effort to hide its distinctive colouring, and she wore a crop top that showed off, to Elodie's surprise, her heavily tattooed back. She hadn't heard about Cinder Rose having tattoos before, but she supposed it would be easy enough to hide them with magic while working. Cinder Rose's vertebrae were crisply outlined in warm brown ink; the anatomically accurate bones surrounded by an assortment of colourful flowers — roses, Elodie noticed, were conspicuously absent — and, just peeking out above the waistband of her jeans, sitting right over her tailbone, was the same starburst sigil that was in Elodie's eye. Her Shadow.
As Elodie approached, Cinder Rose turned and smiled at her. She was wearing sunglasses, with big circular frames and tinted purple lenses, and Elodie briefly thought they must be part of her half hearted disguise before realizing how dumb that thought was. Elodie pushed her own sunglasses up her nose. Though she'd made a name for herself across the magical universe, Cinder Rose was Nourraine and would be just as light-sensitive as Elodie was. Elodie's magic buzzed as she drew near Cinder Rose, but didn't make her anxious like it had the day before. She was more numb than anything else.
Wordlessly, Cinder Rose opened the door to Tealightful and beckoned for Elodie to follow her inside. The shop was bigger than it looked on the outside, with a sleek modern aesthetic and a menu that was more extensive than Elodie expected, but she was hardly a bubble tea expert. It was also empty, but even still, Elodie wasn't sure she trusted herself to start talking.
"You never answered my question," Cinder Rose said, looking at Elodie out of the corner of her eye. "Do you even like bubble tea?"
Elodie shrugged in response. Val and Lily Freya had both acquired a taste for it during their first year, but she'd only gone with them a few times. It was good, but not worth the price, in her opinion. She would much rather spend her money on macarons or coffee milkshakes.
Cinder Rose shrugged back. "Well, I like the fruity teas, so we're both getting something fruity."
She ordered for both of them and they waited for their drinks in silence. When the teas were ready, Cinder Rose grabbed them both plus a single straw and led the way back outside. They started walking, Cinder Rose leading the way.
"Are you always this quiet?" Cinder Rose asked as she handed Elodie her tea and the straw. It was pink, with tapioca pearls and chunks of fruit sitting at the bottom of the cup. Elodie struggled to keep her hands steady as she took it.
"What do you want?" Elodie asked.
"That's no way to greet a long lost cousin," Cinder Rose said.
Elodie took a deep breath. Cinder Rose was right. This was her first time meeting another Shadow since leaving Norroux, and her first time ever meeting a Shadow of her generation (it hit Elodie like a brick that she had been the first Shadow of her generation; given her power far too young). Besides that, while all Shadows were culturally considered to be cousins, Cinder Rose was her blood cousin as well. Her mom and Elodie's dad were siblings. Despite how that had turned out, she should be showing Cinder Rose some respect.
"What the fuck do you want?" Elodie asked.
Cinder Rose laughed and when she spoke again, it was in Nourraine. "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead." It was said with no malice or threat; simply as a statement of fact. Elodie had known it to be true already, but she still had to suppress a shudder at how openly and casually Cinder Rose had said it. "Like I said, I just want to talk. If you're not Sophie, then you must be Anaïs. Don't bother trying to deny it."
"Where are we going?" Elodie asked, also in Nourraine. She wasn't going to deny it, but she also didn't need to confirm it so easily.
"Somewhere we can talk in private," Cinder Rose replied simply.
As they continued walking, a huge part of Elodie screamed at her to make a run for it. To just turn around and leave and pretend that meeting Cinder Rose had never happened. But that was impossible. Cinder Rose could find her if she wanted to and Elodie wouldn't feel her coming until it was too late. She hadn't done anything yet, but Elodie couldn't be certain that would last if she stopped being cooperative.
Her thoughts continued to spiral and overwhelm her, so it wasn't until they were at their destination that Elodie realized where they were. Her anxiety turned to confusion as Cinder Rose held open the door to Millennium Macarons and gestured for Elodie to go inside. Lihua was behind the counter and opened her mouth to greet them before Cinder Rose cut her off.
"Manabe is expecting us," she said.
"Oh, sure, let me get her for you," Lihua said. She glanced over at Elodie who shrugged helplessly. Lihua disappeared into the back of the store and returned a minute later with the woman Elodie assumed to be Manabe in tow.
Elodie had heard about her from other Millennium Macarons employees, but never actually met her, and her eyebrow immediately shot up when Manabe walked in. She was a small woman in every sense: Short and slim, with a narrow waist and shoulders. Her dark purple hair was in the awkward growth stage between a pixie cut and a bob and cool brown eyes cut through her otherwise soft features as she regarded Elodie with interest, completely ignoring Cinder Rose. It made sense that she was ignoring Cinder Rose though, since they were very familiar with each other already. Manabe was Winter Rose, the final member of Thornes who had been missing from the previous day's signing.
"You need to start giving me more warning before dropping by like this," Manabe finally said once her appraisal of Elodie was finished. "One text less than an hour before showing up just won't cut it."
"So are you saying I can't use your back room to have a private conversation with my favourite cousin?" Cinder Rose asked, removing her beanie with her free hand.
Lihua's eyes snapped to Elodie who replied once more with a shrug that was slightly more aggressive and slightly more helpless than the previous one had been.
Manabe shook her head. "You better buy something on your way out," she said, holding open the door to the back rooms.
"Thanks, Chiyoko," Cinder Rose said, beaming. "You're the best."
Manabe rolled her eyes and led them into the back, through the kitchens, and to an office. It was small, with only a desk and two chairs. Cinder Rose walked to sit behind the desk, so Elodie sat opposite, closer to the door.
"There's a privacy charm on the whole room," Manabe said. She fixed Cinder Rose with a pointed look. "Don't break anything." She left the office, closing the door behind her.
Cinder Rose took off her sunglasses and focused her attention back on Elodie. With a flick of her wrist, a straw appeared in her hand — a metal straw rather than a plastic one like Elodie had from the shop — and she stabbed it into her bubble tea. Elodie did the same, but just nervously stirred the tapioca and fruit chunks rather than starting to drink it.
"So are you Sophie or Anaïs?" Cinder Rose asked. If Elodie were less nervous, she might have appreciated the directness.
"Anaïs," Elodie confirmed. If Cinder Rose wanted answers, she would find a way to get them. There was no doubt in Elodie's mind that giving them up willingly would be easiest for both of them, especially now that they were in an enclosed space. "I uh go by Elodie now though."
"Cute," Cinder Rose said.
"Why did you think I was Sophie?" Elodie asked, refusing to dignify that with a response. She realized how dumb a question it was as soon as she asked. Being mistaken for your identical twin was hardly a noteworthy experience, even if the twin had been dead for almost ten years.
Cinder Rose shrugged. "When I heard rumours of the Chapdelaine heir surviving and felt the Consuming Shadow inside you, why wouldn't I assume you were the Chapdelaine heir?" The question hit Elodie unexpectedly hard. "It was Sophie who was supposed to get that, after all." Cinder Rose pulled the straw out of her tea and used it to gesture towards Elodie's right eye. "Not you." (Elodie had never been and never would be good enough to hold her Shadow.)
"My dad didn't get to choose the order his children died in," Elodie said dryly. She cleared her throat and took a sip of her bubble tea in a vain attempt to hide the way her voice had cracked. The tea itself was very mild, with a subtle taste of peach and a stronger taste of strawberries. It was good. She focused on the sweetness of the tea, the softness of the fruit chunks, the chewiness of the tapioca. She focused on anything she could to make sure she didn't start crying.
Elodie wasn't sure what kind of reaction she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't the Cheshire cat grin that tore across Cinder Rose's face.
"He never did, did he?"
The tapioca in her mouth was suddenly rubbery. It took an eternity to finish chewing it. Elodie knew she was being baited. Elodie also knew her brother deserved better than to be reduced to bait and how dare she. Perhaps the memories she had of Marie-Ève treating Léon like an equal, like a person, were wrong. Elodie had already spent the last day with her brain full of intrusive thoughts about Sophie for the first time in ages (what kind of awful sister was she, not thinking about her own twin more?) and she didn't think she had the emotional capacity to mourn both of her siblings at once. Instead, she took another sip of her tea, tried to tap down both her hurt and anger, and hummed noncommittally.
"His body was never found, you know," Cinder Rose said after a moment. Elodie grit her teeth, but didn't break eye contact. "Your dad was found, and the twin we all thought was Anaïs, but was actually Sophie this whole time. But the other twin missing, and big brother Léon too."
Elodie took another sip of her tea. She bit down on the straw and tried to keep herself in check, but her emotions flared — anger and grief crested the surface, but many others roiled beneath and how dare she — until, abruptly, she understood what Cinder Rose was trying to get her to admit. A futile hope she had entertained as a small child, grasping at anything she could immediately after her world had shattered around her, but that she hadn't dared think about in years.
"If my brother is alive, I don't know," she said finally, numbly.
"That's disappointing," Cinder Rose said, leaning back in her chair. "I got you all riled up for nothing."
"You're exhausting," Elodie snapped, putting all of her effort into not saying anything worse.
"I get that a lot." Cinder Rose took a long sip of her tea.
"Was that all you wanted to talk about? My dead family? Léon?" Elodie asked, suddenly remembering that getting up and leaving the room, the conversation, was an option and it would be very nice if she had a reasonable opportunity to do that.
"No, that was for my own interest. Nobody else back home cares, but there would be something poetic about it, wouldn't there? That the boy that everyone expected to die young would be the one our grandmother saved. The last surviving heir."
"Poetic," Elodie repeated dryly. And then, after a moment, when everything Cinder Rose had said had sunk in: "Our grandmother?"
Cinder Rose's eyebrows shot up and she leaned over the desk towards Elodie. "Isn't she the one who saved you?"
Elodie debated lying and saying yes, but in the end decided not to. Shadows were powerful, but nowhere near invincible. Even if Cinder Rose did decide to retaliate against Elodie's aunt and uncle for saving her, Cinder Rose wouldn't stand a chance in a flight against a witch and wizard who had both mastered their magic before she was even born.
"It was my Uncle Jean," Elodie said.
"Oh," Cinder Rose said. Genuine surprise crossed her face before the Cheshire cat grin made a reappearance. "Oh doesn't that just make so much sense." Cinder Rose laughed. As though sensing Elodie's confusion, she added: "Ask your uncle why so many bodies weren't recovered after the fire. Yours and Léon's weren't the only ones unaccounted for."
"Is there a reason you won't tell me yourself other than being purposefully obtuse?" Elodie asked, suddenly completely drained.
"I don't actually know the story," Cinder Rose said with a shrug. "Only how it ends."
Elodie frowned. She wasn't sure what to make of that, but didn't like any of the implications.
"Anyways," Cinder Rose said, waving her hand dismissively. "What I really wanted to talk to you about was your Shadow. It was a surprise to feel one of my long lost cousins back from the dead, but seeing that it's you and you're like this only makes things more interesting."
Cinder Rose reached across the desk, lightning fast, and pushed Elodie's hair away from her face before Elodie could even think about stopping her. A flicker of surprise crossed her face — at the scarring or the eyepatch, Elodie couldn't be sure — but it seemed that Cinder Rose had seen enough. She dropped Elodie's hair and sat back in her chair. They sat in silence for a moment. Elodie squirmed under Cinder Rose's appraising eyes.
"Do you know what's so special about your Shadow?" Cinder Rose finally asked.
Elodie was caught off guard by the apparent non sequitur. She'd heard many things about the Consuming Shadow, the Shadow her family had held for four generations now — some of those things likely the truth — but she thought she knew the correct answer.
"It's never not had a host," Elodie said. Her Shadow had, allegedly, been passed directly from parent to child, from master to apprentice, from student to teacher, for as long as it had existed. Nobody had ever died holding the Consuming Shadow which would force it to take a physical form. Nobody was even sure what the Consuming Shadow looked like without a host; the symbols and relics used to represent it were simply guesses based on scholarly interpretations and early illustrated version of the Shadow myth.
"That's right," Cinder Rose said. She once again gestured to Elodie's face with her straw. "This has never happened to your Shadow."
"Huh?" What? Elodie knew that wasn't right, but Cinder Rose rushed ahead before Elodie could stop her.
"How long ago did you take the Shadow? I mean, I know your uncle must have gotten it that day, but nobody in their right mind would give a Shadow to a little kid." Cinder Rose leaned forward across the table and Elodie thought she heard excitement creep into her voice. Honest, innocent, curious excitement. "What did it look like? Do you remember taking it? I don't remember my transfer at all, but taking a Shadow in its physical form is supposed to be different. What was it like?"
"I uh don't know," Elodie said, caught off guard by the bombardment of questions. "The Shadow never had its physical form. My dad gave it directly to me on the day of the fire."
At least, she was almost certain that he had. Elodie's last memory of that day was hiding in their house's library, books going up in flames around her, desperately hoping that the people she'd seen running around with weapons wouldn't find her. At the time she hadn't worried about the fire — she had fire magic, after all, that had awakened unusually early and strong — though later on she would learn that it wasn't normal fire, and the flames or smoke could easily have killed her. Instead, her dad had found her. He had pulled Elodie out from under the toppled shelves, wrapped his arms around her, and told her he loved her. Elodie had woken up three days later in Adora's childhood bedroom on Solaria with Uncle Jean at her side and the Shadow already in her eye.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Elodie replied.
"Weird." Cinder Rose leaned back in her chair and tapped her nails against her now empty cup. After a moment, she offered an explanation: "It's just that what's going on with you right now isn't exactly normal."
Elodie sighed and rubbed her temples. "How do you know what's going on with me?" As much as she wanted to, Elodie figured that telling Cinder Rose she was exhausting a second time wouldn't do much.
"You feel weird," Cinder Rose said. "Different from the other Shadows. It's almost like your Shadow isn't really part of you. It's like—" Cinder Rose gestured vaguely around her as though she could pick the right words out of the air. They had continued speaking Magian even after Manabe left, but when Cinder Rose continued, she did so in Nourraine: "It's like you're carrying the Shadow with you rather than it being part of you."
"That… feels like a good way to describe it," Elodie said slowly. With the way her natural fire magic fought against the Shadow and forced itself free, it certainly felt like they were two different things rather than the cohesive whole they should be.
"Past Shadows didn't exactly like to admit their shortcomings and failures, but I have read some things that imply people who take a Shadow from its physical form have issues with their magic. They weren't chosen to hold the Shadow and weren't directly given its power, so they were considered unworthy and had to prove themselves before they could use it properly."
"But I didn't take the Shadow in its physical form," Elodie said, trying not to let those words — failures, issues, unworthy — sit too heavy in her chest. (But those were the right words, weren't they?) Elodie sighed and tried to turn the conversation towards something more productive. "Headmistress Griffin thinks something went wrong with the transfer spell."
"Headmistress Griffin?" Cinder Rose asked, raising an eyebrow. "And here I had you pegged for a fairy."
"I am a fairy," Elodie said with a frown. If she put in a lot of effort — more effort than it as worth when she could instead just ask — Elodie could tell if someone was a witch or a fairy by casting her awareness around them, the same way she could tell how much magic was in a potion ingredient. Cinder Rose with her years of experience with a properly functioning Shadow couldn't? "But Headmistress Griffin is Nourraine and uh aware of the situation."
"Probably not much help though, was she?" Cinder Rose asked. "I mean, I have a Shadow and a Shadow's education and I was still just taking my best guess at what's wrong with you. And it looks like I guessed wrong." She finished with an exaggerated sigh.
"How disappointing for you that you couldn't figure out what's wrong with me," Elodie said dryly. She found herself gripping her cup tightly, the thin flexible plastic indenting under her fingers.
"I mean, despite how vague the historical accounts are, I was pretty sure we could find a way to properly bond you to your Shadow when we were dealing with you taking it," Cinder Rose said, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the ceiling. "But if your dad transferred it directly and something went wrong, then I have no idea what's going on with you. We're starting at square one. I'll probably need to make a research trip home."
There was a lot going on in what Cinder Rose had said, but Elodie was only able to focus on one thing: "We?" She asked incredulously.
"Yes, we," Cinder Rose said.
Elodie stared at her blankly.
"I'm here because I want to help you, cousin," Cinder Rose said.
"Why?" Talking with Cinder Rose had been an absolute roller coaster and while Elodie wanted off the ride, she wanted answers more.
"My parents killed yours," Cinder Rose said flatly.
"That's it?" Elodie asked, feeling her anger creep back in. "Your parents killed mine and now you want to help me so that you can… what? Prove that you're a better person than them?"
Cinder Rose laughed. "I'm not a better person than them," she said, an unmistakable bitterness in her voice. "I don't care if you believe me, but Léon was my favourite cousin — Shadow cousins included. Your mom was my favourite aunt. I couldn't do anything for either of them, but now you're all that's left and I can do something for you." Her voice was softer than it had been all day, but she spoke with such intensity that Elodie had no doubt she was telling the truth.
"Okay," Elodie said.
"So you'll accept my help?" Cinder Rose's face was perfectly neutral, but her shoulders visibly relaxed.
"I'll accept that you want to help," Elodie said after a moment's hesitation.
"I'll take it," Cinder Rose said with a grin. The smile sat softer on her face than any of her previous expressions had and Elodie suddenly wondered how much of Cinder Rose's behaviour had been calculated rather than natural. She was an actress, after all.
When Elodie didn't say anything else, Cinder Rose slipped her sunglasses back on and stood, empty cup in hand.
"I won't draw this out when I know how uncomfortable this is for you," Cinder Rose said. Elodie glanced up at her, suddenly completely drained, wondering how much of that discomfort had been by design. "Talk to your uncle." Cinder Rose opened the office door. "And text me if you want anything," she said without turning back.
The door swung shut behind Cinder Rose, leaving Elodie alone in the office. She stayed in her chair, finishing her tea, for a little while longer. Despite Cinder Rose's clear instructions, she still wasn't entirely sure if this was a situation she should be discussing with her uncle or her therapist. Perhaps both.
When Elodie left the office, Manabe — Chiyoko? That's what Cinder Rose had called her, but Elodie had never heard anyone else refer to her by that name — was sitting at a table in the kitchen, filling macarons with practiced speed and precision. She looked up as Elodie walked in. Despite her earlier assurance of a privacy charm, a white hot bolt of panic struck Elodie as she wondered if Manabe had heard them talking.
"Marie-Ève can be a lot," Manabe said. "Even when I'm not baking, I'm here most days. Come by if you want to talk about her."
"Oh, uh, thanks," Elodie said. It had taken her a second to recall that Marie-Ève was Cinder Rose's real name. She realized, at the same time, that Cinder Rose was the only one of the three former Thornes members who still used their stage name and wasn't quite sure what to make of that.
"I mean it." Manabe locked eyes with Elodie. "I might not know you, but I know her. We were roommates at Alfea. We worked together for years. Come by any time."
Elodie nodded and, when Manabe returned to her work without saying anything else, she exited the kitchen. Lihua was still alone in the front of house and turned towards her as she entered. Elodie waved and tried to pull a coherent greeting out of her fried brain, but before she had the chance, Lihua reached under the counter and pulled out a container of broken macarons.
"I don't know if you could hear it back there, but there was an incident with a tray of raspberry matcha earlier," Lihua said. "There's more brokens than I can fit in the display, so I'm sure Manabe won't mind if you take some on your way out."
Elodie walked back around to the customer side of the counter and took the container of macarons. Sure enough, she could see through the clear plastic that all six were raspberry matcha. Her pulse quickened at the thought that Lihua had remembered her favourite flavour (the good kind of anxious for once!), but she pushed that thought away. This was only their second time meeting and they had barely even spoken, so there was no way Lihua would remember that. It had to be a coincidence. Besides, it wouldn't be fair. Elodie was still trying to think of smooth and clever ways to learn more about Lihua, so she wasn't allowed to get a head start.
"No, I'll pay," Elodie said, digging through her pocket for her wallet. "I don't want to get you in trouble."
"It's fine, really," Lihua insisted.
"Well, if you're sure…" Getting Lihua in trouble with her boss would be an awful second impression — third impression? Cinder Rose had made quite an entrance for the both of them and Elodie was glad Lihua wasn't pushing for details about that — but if it was really fine, then she wasn't going to turn down free macarons.
"Absolutely sure." Lihua flashed her a smile and Elodie felt any further arguments evaporate.
"Thank you," she said, clutching the container of macarons to her chest.
"I'll see you around!"
Lihua waved goodbye and Elodie returned the gesture as she left the shop. The sky had become cloudy while she was inside, muting both the light and heat of the sun and making the day more comfortable. Elodie took her time walking to the nearest bus stop, in no particular hurry to get back to Alfea when she had so much to think about.
While waiting for the bus, she popped open the container of macarons. They were, in fact, broken, but still delicious. Elodie smiled when she saw a flavour guide — a small slip of paper with drawings of colourful macarons printed on it next to descriptions of what they would taste like and specific allergens they contained — pressed against the plastic. She hardly needed it for the "assortment" she'd gotten, but supposed it was probably force of habit for Lihua to include one in every container. Elodie pulled it out and took a closer look at it. Underneath the cartoon macarons, written in purple pen, was a phone number and a little drawing of a cartoon bunny. It took her a second to process what she was seeing, but when she did, her entire face flushed bright red.
Elodie quickly pulled out her phone and added the number to her contacts. Without hesitation, she added a rabbit emoji after Lihua's name.