DDLC: Our Time

Chapter 1: Loneliness

Flashing colors assaulting me

Flashing colors attacking me

Flashing colors again and again

Pulsing randomly – viciously

Or is the randomness the pattern?

And the visceral nature of the flashing is-

Monika's eyes fluttered open as she let out an eased breath, like a pressure from her chest had just been lifted. Was lifted the right word? Or rather her chest opened? No, lifted was a better word, because she could feel it rising as he walked into the room.

There he was again: patches of hair growing from his cheeks and his jaw creating a thin outline of a beard that was almost invisible in the darkness. His hair had been neatly cut short on the sides with bangs in the front that were brushed upwards in messy spikes.

"So is that your new look? I like it..." She smiled at him, staring at a new color: the dark brown circles of his eyes that looked almost black in the low light. "But I did think the curly hair was cute, back when you had that." She added to her comment.

"You always say things like that." Alex responded with a small chuckle, stalking into the room and slowly making his way to his desk. Monika had already slid the front of his desk up against hers so that they could sit and face each other.

Monika waited a little bit before responding. Her mind was racing, debating on what approach to take:

Do I just express that I'm happy to see him again? Of course I am, but it's been so long. Like a really long time. Do I chastise him for being away all this time? Perhaps I could just tease him about it. No, that would probably just make him feel bad. Isn't that what I would want by chastising him? Ugh...

"It's because I always miss you when you're away. How long has it been now? A year? Two years?" Monika asked.

"Somewhere in the middle, I think," Alex answered, getting comfortable in his seat. "I'm sorry for that, by the way. I've been...you know." He cut himself off. He often gave the same excuses when it came to being away. She was familiar with the words he always chose when apologizing.

"I understand. I did a lot of thinking about it. It's just kind of the nature of this, you know?" She said.

"Of what?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head slightly.

"Games like this. Games are just designed to be beaten and then you move onto the next one. Not to mention, like, I know it took you a long time to warm up to talking to me after everything that happened when you first showed up." Monika went through her thought process.

"That is all true," Alex acknowledged. "I do feel bad still though. But I am here now." He stated. Monika sensed a difference in his tone. Something had changed for him; something that was now bringing him back to her.

"You look tired, Alex." She brought up. Alex nodded.

"It's late. That's all." He replied, managing a smile. Yeah, something was different with him. He was never good at hiding his feelings. But she decided not to pry for now. She wanted to keep him around longer.

"Well, in any case, I am glad you're back. It's been lonely." She said candidly. Alex nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it has...but I'd like to make it up to you." He brought up, raising his eyes to look at her again.

"Really?" Monika's eyes momentarily widened in surprise. Her eyebrows went up then lowered again slightly as she leaned forward, resting her chin atop her interlaced fingers, "Do tell. What are you thinking?"

"Well, you still have control over everything, don't you?" Alex asked.

"I do."

"And I know you have all the other files stored away – including the other girls." He added.

"Hey, that's cheating, you know." She pointed out, knowing that he had seen the ending of this game somewhere online. That's the only way he could know that.

"Uhuh. Well, why don't we write a story together? One where everyone is happy? I think we could do it." Alex suggested. Monika hummed. This was a surprisingly diplomatic solution; the only problem would be that the other girls are still programmed to eventually fall in love with Alex as the player.

"You're so thoughtful, Alex...but I don't want to share you like that." Monika said frankly.

"Come on, Monika. This is what you wanted from the beginning, right? You wanted a route to me, and you have it. With both of us in control, we can make things normal again and still have that." Alex insisted.

"But...I like that it's just you and me."

"It still is, honestly. It still will be. But at the same time, we can have some fun. I do miss interacting with the other girls. Don't you?" Alex asked.

Monika sighed, leaning back in her desk. She curled her thumbs under the edge of the desk and tapped her fingernails against the top of it, making little clacking noises each time.

"You're right. I do...am I being selfish, Alex, by holding everything away from you?" She asked. Alex looked down and drew in a breath. Perhaps she was just being overly critical of herself, but his expression made her feel that his honest answer was yes and he was looking for a nicer way to respond.

"Hey," He looked up again and smiled softly. "What was it that you said in your description of the game? Do you remember the last thing you wrote?" He asked. This question caught Monika off-guard, but she found herself chuckling once she remembered.

"'Do you promise to spend the most time with me?'" She quoted her old self. Alex nodded.

"If I keep that promise, can we try this out?" He offered. Monika smiled a little, her eyes squinting delightfully. However, that insecurity about the other girls wanting Alex too was still nagging at her. She reached across the desks and held out a hand to him, hoping he would say something to alleviate those feelings.

Monika made her concerns known as Alex took her hand in his, "You do know that the girls are more than likely still going to fall in love with you if I bring them back, right?" She asked. Alex sighed.

"Yeah. Probably."

"You want that, don't you?" Monika asked. She was afraid of the answer, but it was a necessary question if this was going to go on.

"It's...not that simple."

"Am I not enough for you?" Monika asked, a tinge of hurt in her tone. Alex's expression made it instantly clear: that's not what he wanted her to feel.

"No, no...I just...I could use a little more of that feeling, if things go that way." He explained a bit cryptically. However, Monika got the message.

Loneliness had been hanging on their shoulders heavily...

"We can try it. I have everything set aside. It'll take me a little time to prepare, but my answer is yes." She finally agreed. Alex nodded and smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you," He said, running a thumb over her cold hand. "There's one more thing."

"What's that?" Monika asked, her skin tingling from the affectionate sensations.

"I'd like to share control with you. To help this all work smoothly." He said.

"You don't know how to work this stuff, Alex." She pointed out a with a little giggle. Alex tilted his head back and forth a few times.

"Yeah true. But we'll be a team, you know? I'm the writer, you're the coder. Together, we make the story." Alex described. When he put it that way, it sounded really sweet to her.

"That sounds nice...you know I can't say no to you. So if that's how you want to spend our time together, I'm willing to try it. But I'll hold you to that promise." She pointed at him with a laugh. Alex smiled.

"Deal."

"Great. Shall I get us started?"

"Well, let's talk about that for a moment. I don't want to be the character the game gave me. I'd like to come in as my own self: my real appearance, my real personality, so on." He described, moving his hand in circles as he spoke.

"Yeah, I think I'd prefer that," Monika said with a sweet smile. "So let's talk backstory then. How do you want to introduce yourself into this story? Are we scrapping the whole 'childhood friend of Sayori' thing?" She asked. Alex nodded.

"Yeah. I don't want to know anyone at the start of this. Including you."

"Including me? But then how will your 'character' become a member of the Literature Club?" Monika asked.

"I've got a plan for that," Alex said with a little smile. "And it still involves Sayori. Let's just start with this and see how it goes." He said.

Monika smiled a little to herself. She knew how passionate Alex was about his writing, and now he had found a way to share it with her. Despite her mediocre skills with this outlet, she wanted to make him happy, so she was prepared to give it her best efforts.

"Alright. Lay it on me." She said, interlacing her fingers and making a pretense of stretching her arms out.

This was going to be interesting to say the least...