The First official chapter of this One Shot Series. Requested by Retro Mania! Enjoy!
Rated K Plus for Cartoon Violence, and some Crude Humor throughout, and some mild language...
During a nice sunny day at Acme Loo, after school, Babs is currently telling jokes to Hamton, Fifi and Shirley, and they're all sharing in a good laugh. "Okay, pick a subject!", said Babs. "Dogs," Hamton replied. "So, I sent my dog to obediance school! Now he says grace before biting someone!", Babs joked as Shirley, Fifi, and Hamton laughed. "Thank you! Thank you!", Babs said as she took a bow. As Babs continued to tell her jokes and do her impressions, a voice of Buster speaks to audience about the plot of this story in his best Rod Serling impression. "Considering, one Babs Bunny, a young comedian obsessed with cracking the perfect joke. One Fifi La Fume, obsessed with finding her true love. And one Shirley McLoon, a psychic obsessed with finding her center. But it may be fate that has the last laugh, love, and thought, for Babs, Shirley, and Fifi are about to set foot in the cosmic comedy/dating/fortune telling club, which we call The Acme Acres Zone."
Babs then starts joking in her drill sergent impression. "Well if you don't want the clams, why did you order them?!" Hamton, Fifi, Shirley laughs again falling uncontrollably off their chairs and onto the floor as Babs walked closer to them. "Gosh, Babs! You are the funniest rabbit I know!" Hamton said as he, Fifi, and Shirley get up after laughing so hard. "Oui! It is, 'ow vous say, so true, no?" Fifi asked. "Like, totally spot on, and junk!" Shirley replied. "Thank you! Thank you very much Hamton, Fifi, and Shirley," replied Babs, "And someday I'll be the funniest rabbit anyone knows!" "And someday, I vill find true love," said Fifi. "And like, someday for me, I'll like, totally find my center and junk!", said Shirley. "Wow! How are you girls going to do any of that?" asked Hamton. "Glad you asked," replied Babs. "Step right this way please." "Don't we have a choice?" asked Hamton as Babs starts pushing him, along with Shirley and Fifi to the Acme Loo laboratory where Calamity is ready to conduct the experiment on Babs's request of course. "Not really, no." replied Babs. "I've asked Calamity Coyote to create a machine that will actually increase the power of my sense of humor, Fifi's sense of love, and Shirley's sense of being at her center." "Wow!" Shirley, Fifi, and Hamton said in awe as they all enter the lab with Babs. As they enter, Calamity was making the final preparations for the machine Babs requested to him. "How's it going, Calamity?" Babs asked as Calamity gets shocked by the wires he's adjusting due to him being jumpy about people sneaking up on him. Calamity then holds up a sign that says, "All set!" in response to Babs's question. "Great, fire away!" Babs said as she eagerly entered the machine, though Fifi and Shirley were at first reluctant to enter. "Like, normal I won't do this, but if means that it'll help me like, find my center and junk, I'm totally in!" Shirley said as she slowly enters her designated machine. "Oui! Vell, I vill not know if I do not try, no?" Fifi replied as she enters her designated machine. Hamton looks on in concern, and then walks towards Calamity as he pulls the lever that powers up the machines. "Girls, are you all sure these things are safe?" Hamton asked in a concerned voice. "Hey! Calamity wouldn't let us try it if it weren't safe," said Babs, "Right, Calamity?" Babs asked as Calamity wears a hazmat suit for protection while turning the nobs of the machine. Calamity then takes off the hood of the hazmat suit and nods at the girls. "Like, I hope he knows what he's doing Babs," Shirley said in a worried tone, "Because I'm like, getting terrible vibes from what the machine might do to us!" "I am, 'ow vous say, scared too!", Fifi agreed. "Relax, girls!" Babs replied, "Nothing bad will happen to us." Babs then looks at Calamity and said, "Three to beam up, Scotty!" Calamity then pushes the final switch, and machines start zapping the girls. Calamity then gets Hamton safety, and has him wear a hazmat suit as well. "Hey, it's working!", Babs laughed, "I can feel myself getting funnier!" Babs laughed again. "Oh, what a loon I am!", Shirley said on a meditative voice as the machine continues to zap them. Fifi sighs in love, and not said a thing while the machine is zaping her. "My sense of humor is really rising to the top!", Babs laughed even more, till all of a sudden, Babs's sense of humor leaves her body, while at the same time, Fifi's sense of love, and Shirley's sense of center leave their bodies as well. Babs's sense of humor continues to laugh, while Shirley's sense of center continues to meditate, and Fifi's sense of love continues to be lovestruck as the machines power themselves off. The girls' bodies start to go limp as Hamton goes to them after removing his hazmat suit, and asked, "Gosh, girls! Are you all alright?" "Yes," replied Babs in a monotoned voice, "I feel fine." "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M ALRIGHT!" Shirley yelled in an angry tone, "MY CENTER IS LIKE, TOTALLY GONE, AND IT'S ALL HIS DAMN FAULT!" Shirley continued yelling at Hamton as she pointed at Calamity; thus shifting the blame to him. Fifi started crying, "I vill never, 'ow vous say, know true love again! Le boo hoo hoo hoo!" "You girls don't sound like yourselves.", said Hamton. "LIKE, NO DUH!" Shirley angerly replied, "WITHOUT MY DAMN SENSE OF CENTER, I'M LIKE, TOTALLY NOTHING AND JUNK!" "That's silly, Hamton," said Babs still in a monotoned voice, "Who am I supposed to sound like?" Fifi, however just continued crying. "I don't know, pinky" replied Babs's sense of humor, "Maybe like me?" Babs's sense of humor then laughed and starts kissing Babs on her right cheek, and then raises Hamton's coveralls and ties his straps in a knot like a trash bag. The ghost of Babs's sense of humor then laughs, and joked, "The big fashion news this season is this denim down-home look. Oh, oh! Pictures, pictures." The sense of humor then spins into a camera, and flashes at Hamton as he gets out of his predicament. "Hey!", Hamton said, as he staggers backwards after being blinded by the flash photography. Calamity then catches Hamton as he falls while Babs's sense of humor continues laughing. "I'm free!" said Babs's sense of humor cheerfully, "Free to start a career of my own!", the ghost said as she busts out the window. Meanwhile, Shirley's sense of center tries calming Shirley down. "Like, mellow out, loon girl, and maybe I'll like, totally be a part of you again, and some junk" said Shirley's sense of center as she then kisses Shirley on the cheek. "GRRR..." Shirley starts growling at her sense of center. "Like, too late.", the sense of center said as she floats towards the busted window, escaping Acme Loo as well. Fifi's sense of love tries calming Fifi down by saying, "Do not vorry! Vous vill find true love sooner or later, no?" "Vhat do vous know about love?", Fifi cried, "Vous are just a, 'ow vous say, ghostly appirition! Vous stink! And coming from a skunk, zat is some insult!" Fifi continues crying. "Vous know, zere are lots of fish in zee sea," the ghost said, "...if vous like fish! I, on zee ozer 'and prefer 'andsome skunk 'unks! Au revoir!" Fifi's sense of love then hops towards the broken and busted window and eventually hops through it; thus escaping as well. Hamton and Calamity rushes towards the busted window, fearing that they might lose all the senses forever. "Oh my gosh, girls!", cried Hamton, "I think you all lost your senses!" The girls are then shown in different outfits. Babs has her ears tied in a single bun, wear a bluish green jacket and skirt, a blue shirt, a red bow tie, and some green eyeglasses. Shirley is wearing a more of a trash metal outfit; complete with a mohawklike ponytail hairstyle with her normal bow missing, a spiked black choker, (which is like a wristband for her neck), a spiked black armband on her right arm, some black gloves with spikes on the wrist part of the gloves, a grey shirt that says, "It Bites", some shreded jean short shorts, and some spiked black boots. Shirley is also carrying a mallet in her hand. Fifi looks more like a tragic goth artist in her new attire. Her normal bow is missing, and shes wearing a black sweater. She's also holding a flower, picking off the petals in a depressing manner. "That's absurd, Hamton," said Babs, more monotoned than usual, "You're always exaggerating." "LIKE GOOD FREAKING RIDDANCE!" Shirley yelled, "LIKE BEING CENTERED IS TOTALLY OVERRATED ANYWAY! Shirley then smiles. "Besides, I can like, totally rock this outfit and junk!" "Love is, 'ow vous say, very pointless," said Fifi in a depressed tone, "It vill never be in true bloom for moi." Calamity then holds a sign that shows a picture of sticks in the mud. "You're right Calamity," said Hamton, "They become sticks in the mud." "I don't see anything to laugh at," said Babs as she plays solitaire, "That's the trouble with the world today. Everyone thinks it's one big joke." "Does true love bloom for ozers?", asked Fifi, "Because I do not see anyzing to love." "LIKE, SHUT THE HELL UP, BOTH OF YOU!", Shirley replied angerly, "YOU'RE BOTH LIKE, TOTALLY MAKING ME ANGRIER! AND YOU BOTH WON'T LIKE IT LIKE, AT ALL, AND JUNK!" "I'll get your senses back, girls." Hamton said, "Just stay here, and try not to be funny, in love, nor centered." Hamton and Calamity then leave Acme Loo to track down the senses. "The girls without their senses," Hamton said wondering what the future would hold for the girls without their senses, "How serious could it get?" Calamity then shows Hamton a picture of the girls, and their senses together, a second paper with a picture of the senses floating away, and a third picture showing Babs, Shirley, and Fifi in their new looks and attitudes forever. "YEOW!!", Hamton yelled with flipping through the pictures, "You're saying that if we don't get those senses back to them by sundown, Babs will stay a nerd, Shirley will remain angry, and Fifi will remain depressed forever?!", asked Hamton as he gasps at the thought of the girls staying like are now forever. Calamity then puts a graduation cap on Hamton's head, and shakes his right hand with both hands in honor of Hamton getting the picture. Hamton grabs Calamity as they continue to track down the senses. They pass by the Acme Jailhouse, where they see the prisoners inside laughing, in love, and centered. "We must be on the right track," Hamton explained as he and Calamity continue to follow the path. Meanwhile, Babs's sense of humor is bouncing away for them, while Shirley's sense of center floats towards her, while Fifi's sense of love bounces towards them. The senses then see a hospital. Babs's sense of humor then laughs. "Ha ha! This place could use a few laughs!", said Babs's sense of humor as she heads towards the hospital. "Maybe I could like, totally get the patients to find their center, and junk.", replied Shirley's sense of center as she follows Babs's sense of humor. "And I could, 'ow vous say, show some 'andsome 'unks zere some love, no?", Fifi's sense of love asked as she follows the ghosts as well. As they arrive inside the hospital, the senses sees some sick and injured patients waiting for their names to be called. Babs's sense of humor then dresses up like doctor wearing a stephoscope on her head. "Everyone can benefit from a little surgery!", the sense of humor joked mockingly at the patients. "Like, relax fellow patients," Shirley's sense of humor said to the patients, "If you all find your center, you'll all be at peace." "Speaking of piece, any of vous 'andsome 'unks, vant a piece of moi?", asked Fifi's sense of love. "Hold it right there, you nonsenses." Hamton commanded, as the senses look at him and Calamity as they followed the senses inside. "Oops!", replied the senses as they then run away. Calamity and Hamton continues the chase as they follow the senses around the hospital. "Hurry with that thing, Calamity!", Hamton ordered as Calamity sets up a trap for the senses. Meanwhile, the ghosts ran near the door that says "Surgeon's Lounge". "Surgeon's lounge.", said Babs's sense of humor as she looks inside the lounge, noticing the surgeons taking their break. "It's teatime!" the ghost said in a British accent. "Like, totally," said Shirley's sense of center, "Even though we like, can't drink because we're totally senses and junk!" Fifi's sense of love giggles, "Zat is a, 'ow good one, no?" "I'm about to make it better," replied Babs's sense of humor as she writes a "T" inbetween the S and the U in Surgeon's to replace it with Sturgeon's as the lounge is full of sturgeons instead of surgeons. "Sturgeon's lounge!", the sense of humor giggles, "Get it? Sturgeon's! Can I operate or what?" The sense of humor laughs along with the other senses, but then notices a pie. The senses then touch the pie, which has a wire attached to it, but they don't seem to notice it. The wire leads to Hamton and Calamity, who is holding the other end of the wire. "No sense of humor can resist throwing a pie." Hamton told Calamity, who then gets closer to the senses. "Hold it, hog breath," Babs's sense of humor commanded, "One step closer, and you get creamed." "Like, she'll totally do it," replied Shirley's sense of center, "I sense crazy vibes in her." "Oui!", replied Fifi's sense of love, "'ow about getting close to moi instead?", the sense of love asked as she then kisses Hamton's snout. "You all wouldn't dare!", replied Hamton. "Just try me," Babs's sense of humor said as she throws the pie at Hamton's face, but it also causes a net to appear and capture all the senses. "Hey!", Babs's sense of humor said in shock, "What kind of practical joke is this?!" "Like, whatever it is, it's totally not funny." replied Shirley's sense of center. "Oui," replied Fifi's sense of love, "Zis joke stinks!" Calamity then wipes the pie filling off of Hamton's face. "Great job, Calamity," Hamton congratuated Calamity by shaking his hand. "All we have to do now is drag that bag of laughing, love, and centered gas back to Acme Loo." Calamity and Hamton were about to drag them; when suddenly, "Leave the dragging to me!" Babs's sense of humor replied as the senses start running away inside the net while Hamton and Calamity hold on; thus being dragged by the senses in the process. They all then enter the hospital cafeteria. "Hospital food, coming up!", Babs's sense of humor said as the senses then dive into the already prepared hospital food, along with Hamton and Calamity, which resulted in them letting go of the net; which sets the senses free again. "What, before we eat it?" asked Hamton. Babs's sense of humor quickly approaches Hamton and Calamity. "I make the jokes around here, chubbykins!", the sense of humor replied as she sprayed some whipped cream on top of Hamton's head, and kisses his lips. Fifi's sense of love then approaches Hamton. "Do not vorry, mon amour," said the sense of love, "I vill alvays find vour jokes funny, no?" The sense of love then licks the whipped cream off of Hamton's head, kisses his lips, and then, along with the other senses, try to escape. But Calamity was ready for that escape attempt. He grabs a conveniently placed banana, peels the peel off while eating the banana, and throws the banana peel at the feet of all the senses. The senses slip on the banana peel, which slides them into a hospital food cart, which also acts as a cage that finally captures the senses. Calamity and Hamton then pushes the tray carrying all the senses out of the hospital at breakneck speed while heading back to Acme Loo; however, they're running out of time as Hamton notices the evening sky. "Oh no!", cried Hamton, "The sun is setting! Step on it!" Calamity continues pushing the cart as fast as he could. Meanwhile, back at Acme Loo, Babs is watching TV that's tuned to the Wall Street Review while eating a boring sandwich. "Yum. Mayo on white," said Babs, still in her monotoned voice, "Delish." As Babs continues eating her mayo on white sandwich, Shirley is busy destroying Calamity's machine with her mallet in rage, and Fifi is still pulling petals from another flower in a depressing manner. "Love me," Fifi said, "Love me not." Fifi sniffs; when suddenly, Hamton and Calamity arrived at Acme Loo just in time as the food cart crashes through the window. "The brakes, Calamity!", Hamton said, "Where are they?" As Hamton asked the question, the cart crashes into one of the counters, breaking it in the process as the senses return back to their original bodies while Hamton and Calamity crash into a wall with a nasty thud. The girls then magically returned to their normal attires. "Yuck!", Babs yelled while grossed out about eating a mayo on white sandwich. "Like, what am I doing?!" said Shirley in a shocked tone, as the mallet magically disappears from her hands. "Oh 'appy day!", Fifi screamed in joy, "I now feel loved again! I am so 'appy, I zink I might boo hoo." "We made it!" Hamton cheered. "Phew! No more comedy experiments for me," Babs said in an elated tone, "Thanks for bring me back to my senses, guys!" "Like, that goes double for me," Shirley replied. "Merci boucoup, mon amis!", Fifi said hugging Hamton and Calamity. "Aw, it's nothing." replied Hamton, but Calamity didn't think so. He held up a sign that says, "NOTHING?!?!", then faints while falling backwards on the floor. "Was it something I said?", Babs asked as she, Hamton, Shirley, and Fifi looked on at Calamity in confusion. Meanwhile, Buster appears in his Rod Serling attire, speaking in his Rod Serling impression, "Case study of a split hare, loon, and skunk whose pursuit of laughter, peace, and love became an out-of-body experience. The punch line, lesson, and moral: Be happy just being yourself. Words to live by from-" Barky Marky suddenly appears barking, which forces Buster to remove his toupeé, and finshes his sentence while backing off. "...The Acme Acres Zone." Buster the dives into the ground creating a hole in the ground, while the toupeé turns into Furrball, who screeches as Barky tackles him and they both fight in a spinning animation. Buster then pops out of the burrow and waves goodbye to the audience.
First one-shot done, many more to go. Anywho, tell me what you think by posting a review. If you want to request something, post it in a review of Chapter Zero, and I'll post it once I get to it. Until then, see you all later. :)