Well, here it is. The first official M-Rated one shot of this series. Unfortunately for all you lemon lovers out there, this won't be the first lemon fic. It's the roast of a certain pink rabbit who must endure insult after insult from her closest friends, enemies, and a family member. Don't worry, in this arc, which I plan to turn this into, Babs will dish out some roasts of her own in the finale. For now, enjoy!
Rated M for vulgar language, sexual innuendos and references, and mature humor.
Everyone is prepared for this. The roasters are here, and consist of Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Hamton J Pig, Shirley McLoon, Fifi La Fume, Gogo Dodo, Dizzy Devil, Montana Max, Elmyra Duff, Roderick and Rhubella Rat (no relation), and Angela Bunny. (Babs's mean cousin.) The stage is set as the host of the Roast of Babs Bunny, Blink Winkleman, makes his appearance on stage. "Thank you, Ladies and gentlemen," said Blink, "Now, let me introduce to you guys to the roastee for tonight! The pink bunny with the cutest toes that smells like athelete's foot fungus! The one, the only, thank goodness, Babs Bunny!" Babs Bunny arrives from stage right, waving to her fans as she walks to the throne and sits down gracefully. "You know," said Blink, "I've only known Babs very briefly when I became a crooked gameshow host on Win, Lose or Kerplowee after accepting a bribe from Montana Max." Montana Max laughs since he knew it was true. Babs giggled a little as well, reminensing on how she and Buster got back at Monty for rigging the gameshow to his favor. Plucky just smiled, while unamused by the fact that he got kerplowieed twice in that cartoon. "It was all going well too until Buster grabbed me with a cane, put me in the closet, stripped me half naked, tied me up, and stole my toupeé." The crowd laughs, along with the roasters and Babs herself, though Buster did laugh the loudest. "Speaking of Buster Bunny," continued Blink, "He'll be the first to roast Babs tonight, as he doesn't become roast rabbit once Babs is through with him!" Everyone laughed again, but this time Babs laughed the loudest. "Ladies and gentlemen," continued Blink, "The rabbit successor to Bugs, especially when it comes to dressing in drag, Buster Bunny! The audience cheers and applauds Buster as he makes his way to the podium. "Thank you! Thank you!", Buster said as the audience starts to quiet down. "Let me be the first to say, that I'll be fucking the roastee after the show." Everyone, especially Babs, laughs knowing that it's true. "Where to begin?" joked Buster, "I know, The Looney Beginning where we were first drawn, especially considering that the animator made me look like a fucking goofball before I actually met Babs!" Everyone laughed as the camera focuses on the shot of the animator from The Looney Beginning laughing from within the audience, then focuses back on Buster. "But when the animator drew Babs for the first time," Buster continued, "I was shocked to realize that my co-star happens to a fucking girl!" The crowd laughs at that remark, as Babs just shook her head smiling. "At least she was smart," Buster continued, "Or as I should say, more of a smart ass enough to mock me by saying, 'Welcome to the 90's.'" As Buster said what Babs said in his best Babs Bunny impression, everyone laughed, including Babs, who thought Buster's impression of her is cute. "Then we met Hamton," Buster continued, "Such a noble pig for a guy who has low self esteem." Hamton laugh as Buster continues to roast him. "Don't worry Hamton," Buster joked, "This isn't going be a literal pig roasting, but I do suggest you get a tan! Your pink complection desperately needs it!" Hamton laughs again. "Speaking of roasts," Buster continued, "Plucky, Hamton and I almost literally got roasted by a nutty dodo named Gogo!" Gogo laughs, turning into a nut. "Of course while we we're cooking in that pot," Buster continued, "We heard a voice that said, 'Where's my dinner?!'," the crowd laughs along with Babs, hearing Buster did yet another impression of Babs, "I didn't know it was Babs at first, but when we arrived, while still in the pot to the Wackyland Royal Chamber, we saw Babs, The Fucking Queen of Wackyland, sit on her throne. Much like she is right now!" Everyone laughs, including Babs and Gogo as they laughed the loudest. "But my all time favorite moment with Babsy was during summer vacation in 1991," Buster said, "...when I squirted Babsy with a water, and sent her ass flying into space!" Everyone laughed, though Babs only let out slight chuckle when she heard Buster mention that summer vacation. "Still it was a very eventful summer for us," Buster said, "Even though I squirted Babsy so many times throughout the vacation!" More laughter is heard. "But the one person who had it worse than we did," Buster continued, "Old Pluckface here!" Plucky chuckled, "He got flatten by Hamton's uncle Stinky's ass so many fucking times, you can actually see the pain in Plucky's face!" Plucky chuckle as he wondered how Buster knew all that. "I saw the movie, Pluckface," Buster responded to Plucky's confused look. "Anyway, back to Babsy," Buster continued, "She did get me back for all the times I soaked her ass during our vacation, by dumping cold water on me! Damn was I fucking soaked!" The crowd laughs, including Babs since she remembered everything that happened during that summer. "And Babsy still couldn't fucking help herself!", Buster joked, "She has no self control, she doesn't know her brakes from the gas in her ass!" Everyone laughed. "Oh, but I felt it, and not just in my fucking nostrills either!" Buster joked, "I felt it on my cock too, but damn did it feel so fucking good to know that Babs's ass belongs to me!" Everyone laughs again, and Buster noticed Gogo using the canned laughter. "I see you, Gogo!", Buster said in casual tone, "and you're right. My roast to Babs is so funny, even canned laughter has to laugh at some point!" The laughs continues as the crowd starts chanting for one more story of Buster's moment's with Babs. "Okay," Buster replied, "One more story." The crowd cheered, as even Gogo used his canned cheers, "Spring Break, 1994," Buster said in his best Sherriff John Bunnel impression, "We were dancing, as I felt more pressure on my foot!" Buster pauses a bit, and then speaks in his normal voice. "Turns out it was Babs's big fucking feet crushing my fucking big foot!" The crowd wooed. "Easy pervs!" Buster mocked the crowd, "This isn't a fucking foot fetish story!" The crowd laughs. "Anyway, when I told Babs she was standing on my foot, she yelled," Buster said as he changes his voice to his best Babs Bunny impression, " 'Buster, you are the-'," Buster goes back to his normal voice, "and that's all I could till Elmyra interupted by yelling the word 'BUNNY!' " The crowd laughs, including Elmyra who's laugh overpowered the crowd's laughter. "I'll let Babs tell you what she was going to say to me in her roast to all of us." Buster finished, "So stay tuned, toonsters! You know it'll be great when Babsy starts doing roasting!" The crowd laughs and cheers at the same time. "Thank you!" Buster said as he heads back to his seat as the scene transitions to the coming up promo. "Coming up next," the Announcer said, "Plucky will give Babs the roast she'll never forget! And later, Elmyra shares her love for Babs. Stay tuned after these messages"
Well, that was a roast to remember. I do apologize for the repetitive crowd shenanigans, but that's all part of what a roast is about. Anyway, tell me what you think. And I'll see you all later.