Two black eyes and various other bruises accumulated over the week, I looked a mess. Why? What did I do wrong? For years, I wondered, what did I do to make Ichimatsu hate me so?

Even just today, the day after he gave me a new black eye to match the other, he not only gave me a handprint bruise on my previously uninjured wrist, but delivered multiple blows to my stomach. By the time he was done, my vision was fuzzy and I was gasping for air.

I remember when he stopped. He landed the harshest blow, and panted for a few seconds, before climbing off of me. Amidst my attempts to breathe, I thought I heard him say 'painful'.

Why? All I did was sit next to him. Before I could even speak, he pinned me down and his fists started flying.

Why?

Why does he hate me so much?

I had to leave. I loved him, I really did. But I was also terrified of him. I could never hope to understand him.

So, I put my shoes on and wandered the city. I tried to get my mind off of him, but I couldn't.

I thought back. I knew around the time when things started to change. We were still kids. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I couldn't pinpoint any event that would've led to his sudden increase in violence towards me and only me.

Distracted by my thoughts, I failed to notice several figures approaching me. Suddenly, I was shoved into an alley and dragged further into it before I could find my footing.

Any attempt at words escaped me as the first punch landed directly on my just-healing black eye, and another aggravated my newly-bruised midsection.

"Wallet. Now," one of them demanded.

Shit, I'd left home so hurriedly, I'd neglected to bring it! I didn't have much in it in the first place, but what would they do to me if I didn't even have one with me?

Coughing, I managed to barely choke out "I…don't…" before another punch landed on my ribs, followed by more.

I could feel the fresh bruises forming, and almost had to laugh at the pain. Is this what Osomatsu felt when he'd complain I'd broken his ribs?

If so, I don't blame him for complaining.

The assault felt like it went on forever, though it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. Once they seemed to get bored of hitting someone who wasn't fighting back, they walked away and left me on the grimy alley floor.

I couldn't move very well, even sitting up against the wall was a struggle. They likely cracked a rib. Getting it looked at should've been the next step, but I didn't have my phone with me either. I hoped maybe someone would pass by and I could ask them for assistance, but not many people came to this part of town, especially not the alleys.

Well, Ichimatsu did. But he probably wouldn't be out tonight, he'd already done it in the morning.

Besides that, he'd never bother helping me even if he did end up coming this way. He'd probably just get mad- be it for my being in one of his alleys or 'letting' someone other than him beat me up.

My best bet was probably to just wait. Until someone passed by, or my family (mostly Mommy) got worried and made everyone search for me, or until the pain subsided enough to at least get myself to a better location. Making it all the way home seemed unlikely.

For about an hour I remained there, waiting. Staying awake was getting more difficult. Getting my ass kicked twice in one day was a little exhausting. But I had to try not to fall asleep. I needed to be alert if someone came by so I could get help. But even after an hour, no one had. And I was so tired. Maybe just a quick nap? Surely that'd be fine…

"-tsu!"

I grunted as a distant call pulled me into wakefulness.

"-amatsu!"

Hmm? That sounded like my name. It sounded a bit too distant to be sure, though. I tried to sit up more, but regretted the action as it caused my injuries to make themselves known. I looked around, finding myself still in that alley. Looking up at the sky, I guessed I must not have slept for long; the colours hadn't changed much.

I decided to listen closer, waiting to see if I could hear any more shouts. A minute or two went by with no sound. Hm. Perhaps I'd just imagined it?

"Karamatsu! Where are you?!"

Yes. I must have been imagining things, absolutely. Because, not only would no one be searching for me, calling out with such panic in their voice, never in a million years would it be him.

"Please, Nii-san! Answer me!"

Heh. 'Nii-san'? Him, calling me 'nii-san'. Good one, brain.

So I sat there, the hallucinations sounding closer every time they happened. Jeez, just how much damage had my head received? It was beginning to seriously upset me. Stop it, stop making me hear something I'll never hear in reality. Isn't this just too cruel?

"Karamatsu-niisan, please, fucking please!"

Oh, great, now it's making me hear Ichimatsu crying. He sounded desperate to find me. Do hallucinations always sound so real?

Resigned to having my mind torture me, I sighed, staring down at my hands. I noticed the bruises on my wrists. Right. That is the real Ichimatsu. Not this one, concerned and searching for me. No, that would never be him. He hated me. He'd never love me. He only loved hurting me. Why wouldn't my mind just accept that?

Just as I was about to scream at the voice to stop, I heard a gasp.

"N-nii-san?" There stood the image of my little brother, making me groan in frustration.

"Great," I grunted. "Now I'm seeing him, too. As if the real Ichimatsu would ever look at me like that. Dammit, brain, this is too far." I huffed and let my head fall back against the wall.

"W-what? What are you talking about? Karamatsu, it is me. I found you, I was looking everywhere!"

"Cut the shit. Ichimatsu would never do that. You know how much he hates me. Heh, if he was here, he'd probably love seeing me in this state. Or be mad that he wasn't the one to put me in it."

The hallucination looked so distraught, it honestly made me feel bad.

"Look," I sighed. "Just get out of my head. If someone finally comes around, they won't want to help me if I'm sitting here talking to myself."

"You're not imagining me!" Ichimatsu crouched in front of me, his hands cupping my face. "I'm really here, just… Come on. Let's get you home, okay?"

I sat in shock, staring at him. This was real? But, that made no sense! Before I could even question him, he hauled me to my feet, supporting me on one side.

"But I, ugh, I th-thought-" I tried to talk, but now that I was standing, everything hurt.

"Shut up, just focus on walking."

I nodded, and we made our way home in silence, save for my grunts of pain.

When we arrived, Ichimatsu called out for someone to give him a hand with getting me inside. The other four came to see what he meant. When they saw us, the questions began.

"What happened?"

"Karamatsu are you okay?"

"Did you beat him up again?"

"Why are you helping him if you beat him up?"

Ignoring them, Ichimatsu pointed to Osomatsu, who got the message and came to support my other side. The two worked together to get me into the house. The stairs were a no-go at this point, so they brought me to the TV room. Todomatsu and Jyushimatsu ran upstairs to get some blankets and pillows for me to lay on, while Choromatsu began looking me over.

Once the pillows and such were set on the floor in a makeshift bed, they set me down. Working together, we got my shirt off, and Choromatsu nearly had a panic attack at the bruising he saw.

"Jesus Christ! Ichimatsu, what did you do?" Osomatsu rounded on him. "I know you attacked him earlier but, fuck, what is wrong with you? Don't you know when to stop?"

"It wasn't all me!" Ichimatsu tried to defend himself.

"Bullsh-"

"It-it wasn't," I insisted. "Some guys tried to mug me. I didn't have my stuff so they. They beat me up instead…"

"But still, some of it was him," Totty pointed out. "The question is how much?"

"Somehow I feel like that's not the question," Choromatsu furrowed his brow. "Ichimatsu, when you left, you ran out. You didn't even say why you left. And now you're back with a beat up Karamatsu. What, did you track him down, beat him up, and convince him to lie to us?"

"No, of course not! He got hurt, I had to go make sure he was okay!"

"What?" I looked at Ichimatsu. "What did you just say?"

Ichimatsu froze.

We all looked at him.

"Ichimatsu? How… How did you know I was getting hurt?"

Ichimatsu's face was blank, but I saw sweat begin forming on his face.

How could he have known? My brain knew there was an answer, but I couldn't seem to latch onto it. And when I got closer, something told me to stop thinking.

"Ichimatsu. How did you know?" At this point I was practically demanding an answer.

He made eye contact with me, and when I saw the panic in his eyes, I felt realization punch me harder than I'd ever been punched.

"Wait… Is… Are you-"

Before I could finish speaking, he shoved everyone out of his way and booked it out the front door.

I could've sworn there were tears in his eyes, and if what I thought was true, I understood why.